第63章
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  Beatriceaskedthesequestionsinalowvoiceandgavemenochancetoanswer。Thentakingarhythmfromthemusicbeforeher,shesaid——

  “Atthebackofthehouseisagarden——adoorinthewall——onthelane。Understand?”

  Iturnedoverthepageswithoutanyeffectonherplaying。

  “When?”Iasked。

  Shedealtinchords。“IwishICOULDplaythis!”shesaid。

  “Midnight。”

  Shegaveherattentiontothemusicforatime。

  “Youmayhavetowait。”

  “I’llwait。”

  Shebroughtherplayingtoanendby——asschoolboyssay——“stashingitup。”

  “Ican’tplayto-night。”shesaid,standingupandmeetingmyeyes。“Iwantedtogiveyouapartingvoluntary。”

  “WasthatWagner,Beatrice?”askedLadyOspreylookingupfromhercards。“Itsoundedveryconfused。”

  Itookmyleave。IhadacurioustwingeofconscienceasI

  partedfromLadyOsprey。Eitherafirstintimationofmiddle-ageormyinexperienceinromanticaffairswastoblame,butIfeltaverydistinctobjectiontotheprospectofinvadingthisgoodlady’spremisesfromthegardendoor。Imotoreduptothepavilion,foundCothopereadinginbed,toldhimforthefirsttimeofWestAfrica,spentanhourwithhiminsettlingalltheoutstandingdetailsofLordRobertsB,andleftthatinhishandstofinishagainstmyreturn。IsentthemotorbacktoLadyGrove,andstillwearingmyfurcoat——fortheJanuarynightwasdampandbitterlycold——walkedtoBedleyCorner。IfoundthelanetothebackoftheDowerHousewithoutanydifficulty,andwasatthedoorinthewallwithtenminutestospare。Ilitacigarandfelltowalkingupanddown。Thisqueerflavourofintrigue,thisnocturnalgarden-doorbusiness,hadtakenmebysurpriseandchangedmymentalaltitudes。IwasstartledoutofmyegotisticalposeandthinkingintentlyofBeatrice,ofthatelfinqualityinherthatalwayspleasedme,thatalwaystookmebysurprise,thathadmadeherforexamplesoinstantlyconceivethismeeting。

  Shecamewithinaminuteofmidnight;thedooropenedsoftlyandsheappeared,ashort,greyfigureinamotor-coatofsheepskin,bareheadedtothecolddrizzle。Sheflitteduptome,andhereyeswereshadowsinherduskyface。

  “WhyareyougoingtoWestAfrica?”sheaskedatonce。

  “Businesscrisis。Ihavetogo。”

  “You’renotgoing——?You’recomingback?”

  “Threeorfourmonths。”Isaid,“atmost。”

  “Then,it’snothingtodowithme?”

  “Nothing。”Isaid。“Whyshouldithave?”

  “Oh,that’sallright。Oneneverknowswhatpeoplethinkorwhatpeoplefancy。”Shetookmebythearm,“Let’sgoforawalk。”

  shesaid。

  Ilookedaboutmeatdarknessandrain。

  “That’sallright。”shelaughed。“WecangoalongthelaneandintotheOldWokingRoad。Doyoumind?Ofcourseyoudon’t。Myhead。Itdoesn’tmatter。Onenevermeetsanybody。”

  “Howdoyouknow?”

  “I’vewanderedlikethisbefore。Ofcourse。Didyouthink“——shenoddedherheadbackatherhome——“that’sall?”

  “No,byJove!”Icried;“it’smanifestitisn’t。”

  Shetookmyarmandturnedmedownthelane。“Night’smytime。”

  shesaidbymyside。“There’satouchofthewerewolfinmyblood。Oneneverknowsintheseoldfamilies。I’vewonderedoften。Hereweare,anyhow,aloneintheworld。Justdarknessandcoldandaskyofcloudsandwet。Andwe——together。

  Ilikethewetonmyfaceandhair,don’tyou?Whendoyousail?”

  Itoldherto-morrow。

  “Oh,well,there’snoto-morrownow。YouandI!”Shestoppedandconfrontedme。

  “Youdon’tsayawordexcepttoanswer!”

  “No。”Isaid。

  “Lasttimeyoudidallthetalking。”

  “Likeafool。Now——“

  Welookedateachother’stwodimfaces。“You’regladtobehere?”

  “I’mglad——I’mbeginningtobe——it’smorethanglad。”

  Sheputherhandsonmyshouldersanddrewmedowntokissher。

  “Ah!”shesaid,andforamomentorsowejustclungtooneanother。

  “That’sall。”shesaid,releasingherself。“Whatbundlesofclothesweareto-night。Ifeltweshouldkisssomedayagain。

  Always。Thelasttimewasagesago。”

  “Amongthefernstalks。”

  “Amongthebracken。Youremember。Andyourlipswerecold。

  Weremine?Thesamelips——aftersolong——aftersomuch!。Andnowlet’strudgethroughthisblotted-outworldtogetherforatime。Yes,letmetakeyourarm。Justtrudge。See?HoldtighttomebecauseIknowtheway——anddon’ttalk——don’ttalk。Unlessyouwanttotalk。Letmetellyouthings!Yousee,dear,thewholeworldisblottedout——it’sdeadandgone,andwe’reinthisplace。Thisdarkwildplace。We’redead。Oralltheworldisdead。No!We’redead。Noonecanseeus。We’reshadows。

  We’vegotoutofourpositions,outofourbodies——andtogether。

  That’sthegoodthingofit——together。Butthat’swhytheworldcan’tseeusandwhywehardlyseetheworld。Sssh!Isitallright?”

  “It’sallright。”Isaid。

  Westumbledalongforatimeinaclosesilence。Wepassedadim-lit,rain-veiledwindow。

  “Thesillyworld。”shesaid,“thesillyworld!Iteatsandsleeps。Ifthewetdidn’tpattersofromthetreeswe’dhearitsnoring。It’sdreamingsuchstupidthings——stupidjudgments。Itdoesn’tknowwearepassing,wetwo——freeofit——clearofit。

  YouandI!”

  Wepressedagainsteachotherreassuringly。

  “I’mgladwe’redead。”shewhispered。“I’mgladwe’redead。I

  wastiredofit,dear。Iwassotiredofit,dear,andsoentangled。”

  Shestoppedabruptly。

  Wesplashedthroughastringofpuddles。IbegantorememberthingsIhadmeanttosay。

  “Lookhere!”Icried。“Iwanttohelpyoubeyondmeasure。Youareentangled。Whatisthetrouble?Iaskedyoutomarryme。

  Yousaidyouwould。Butthere’ssomething。”

  MythoughtssoundedclumsyasIsaidthem。

  “Isitsomethingaboutmyposition?。Orisitsomething——perhaps——aboutsomeotherman?”

  Therewasanimmenseassentingsilence。

  “You’vepuzzledmeso。Atfirst——Imeanquiteearly——Ithoughtyoumeanttomakememarryyou。”

  “Idid。”

  “Andthen?”

  “To-night。”shesaidafteralongpause,“Ican’texplain。No!

  Ican’texplain。Iloveyou!But——explanations!To-nightmydear,hereweareintheworldalone——andtheworlddoesn’tmatter。Nothingmatters。HereIaminthecoldwithyouandmybedawaytheredeserted。I’dtellyou——Iwilltellyouwhenthingsenablemetotellyou,andsoonenoughtheywill。Butto-night——Iwon’t——Iwon’t。”

  Sheleftmysideandwentinfrontofme。

  Sheturneduponme。“Lookhere。”shesaid,“Iinsistuponyourbeingdead。Doyouunderstand?I’mnotjoking。To-nightyouandIareoutoflife。It’sourtimetogether。Theremaybeothertimes,butthiswewon’tspoil。We’re——inHadesifyoulike。Wherethere’snothingtohideandnothingtotell。Nobodieseven。Nobothers。Welovedeachother——downthere——andwerekeptapart,butnowitdoesn’tmatter。It’sover。Ifyouwon’tagreetothat——Iwillgohome。”

  “Iwanted。”Ibegan。

  “Iknow。Oh!mydear,ifyou’donlyunderstandIunderstand。Ifyou’donlynotcare——andlovemeto-night。”

  “Idoloveyou。”Isaid。

  “ThenLOVEme。”sheanswered,“andleaveallthethingsthatbotheryou。Loveme!HereIam!”

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