第54章
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  “Almostyouconvinceme。”hesaid,cominguptome,“againstmywill。Amarvellousinvention!Butitwilltakeyoualongtime,sir,beforeyoucanemulatethatperfectmechanism——thewingofabird。”

  Helookedatmysheds。

  “You’vechangedthelookofthisvalley,too。”hesaid。

  “Temporarydefilements。”Iremarked,guessingwhatwasinhismind。

  “Ofcourse。Thingscomeandgo。Thingscomeandgo。But——H’m。

  I’vejustbeenupoverthehilltolookatMr。EdwardPonderevo’snewhouse。That——thatissomethingmorepermanent。

  Amagnificentplace!——inmanyways。Imposing。I’veneversomehowbroughtmyselftogothatwaybefore。Thingsaregreatlyadvanced。Wefind——thegreatnumberofstrangersintroducedintothevillagesaboutherebytheseoperations,working-menchiefly,alittleembarrassing。Itputusout。Theybringanewspiritintotheplace;betting——ideas——allsortsofqueernotions。Ourpublicanslikeit,ofcourse。Andtheycomeandsleepinone’southouses——andmaketheplacealittleunsafeatnights。TheothermorningIcouldn’tsleep——aslightdyspepsia——andIlookedoutofthewindow。Iwasamazedtoseepeoplegoingbyonbicycles。Asilentprocession。Icountedninety-seven——inthedawn。AllgoinguptothenewroadforCrestHill。RemarkableIthoughtit。AndsoI’vebeenuptoseewhattheyweredoing。”

  “Theywouldhavebeenmorethanremarkablethirtyyearsago。”I

  said。

  “Yes,indeed。Thingschange。Wethinknothingofitnowatall——comparatively。Andthatbighouse——“

  Heraisedhiseyebrows。“Reallystupendous!Stupendous。

  “Allthehillside——theoldturf——cuttoribbons!”

  Hiseyesearchedmyface。“We’vegrownsoaccustomedtolookuptoLadyGrove。”hesaid,andsmiledinsearchofsympathy。“Itshiftsourcentreofgravity。”

  “Thingswillreadjustthemselves。”Ilied。

  Hesnatchedatthephrase。“Ofcourse。”hesaid。

  “They’llreadjustthemselves——settledownagain。Must。Intheoldway。It’sboundtocomerightagain——acomfortingthought。

  Yes。Afterall,LadyGroveitselfhadtobebuiltonceuponatime——was——tobeginwith——artificial。”

  Hiseyereturnedtomyaeroplane。Hesoughttodismisshisgraverpreoccupations。“Ishouldthinktwice。”heremarked,“beforeItrustedmyselftothatconcern。ButIsupposeonegrowsaccustomedtothemotion。”

  Hebademegoodmorningandwenthisway,bowedandthoughtful。

  Hehadkeptthetruthfromhismindalongtime,butthatmorningithadforceditswaytohimwithanaspectthatbrookednodenialthatthistimeitwasnotjustchangesthatwerecominginhisworld,butthatallhisworldlayopenanddefenceless,conqueredandsurrendered,doomedsofarashecouldsee,rootandbranch,scaleandformalike,tochange。

  FornearlyallthetimethatmyunclewasincubatingandhatchingCrestHillIwasbusyinalittletransversevalleybetweenthatgreatbeginningandLadyGrovewithmoreandmorecostlyandambitiousexperimentsinaerialnavigation。ThisworkwasindeedthemainsubstanceofmylifethroughallthegreattimeoftheTono-Bungaysymphony。

  IhavetoldalreadyhowIcametodevotemyselftothissystemofinquiries,howinasortofdisgustwiththecommonadventureoflifeItookupthedroppedendsofmycollegestudies,takingthemupagainwithaman’sresolutioninsteadofaboy’sambition。FromthefirstIdidwellatthiswork。It——was,I

  think,largelyacaseofspecialaptitude,ofapeculiarirrelevantveinoffacultyrunningthroughmymind。Itisoneofthosethingsmenseemtohavebychance,thathaslittleornothingtodowiththeirgeneralmerit,andwhichitisridiculoustobeeitherconceitedormodestabout。Ididgetthroughaverybigmassofworkinthoseyears,workingforatimewithaconcentratedfiercenessthatleftlittleofsuchenergyorcapacityasIpossessunused。Iworkedoutaseriesofproblemsconnectedwiththestabilityofbodiespitchingintheairandtheinternalmovementsofthewind,andIalsorevolutionisedoneleadingpartatlastofthetheoryofexplosiveengines。ThesethingsaretobefoundinthePhilosophicalTransactions,theMathematicalJournal,andlessfrequentlyinoneortwoothersuchpublications,andtheyneedn’tdetainushere。Indeed,IdoubtifIcouldwriteaboutthemhere。Oneacquiresasortofshorthandforone’snotesandmindinrelationtosuchspecialwork。Ihavenevertaught;norlectured,thatistosay,Ihaveneverhadtoexpressmythoughtsaboutmechanicalthingsinordinaryeverydaylanguage,andI

  doubtverymuchifIcoulddosonowwithoutextremetedium。

  Myworkwas,tobeginwith,verylargelytheoretical。Iwasabletoattacksuchearlynecessitiesofverificationasarosewithquitelittlemodels,usingaturntabletogetthemotionthroughtheair,andcane,whaleboneandsilkasbuildingmaterial。Butatimecamewhenincalculablefactorscreptin,factorsofhumancapacityandfactorsofinsufficientexperimentalknowledge,whenonemustneedsguessandtry。ThenIhadtoenlargethescaleofmyoperations,andsoonIhadenlargedthemverygreatly。Isettoworkalmostconcurrentlyonthebalanceandstabilityofglidersanduponthesteeringofinflatedbags,thelatteraparticularlyexpensivebranchofwork。Iwasnodoubtmovedbysomethingofthesamespiritoflavishexpenditurethatwasrunningawaywithmyuncleinthesedevelopments。PresentlymyestablishmentaboveLadyGrovehadgrowntoapaintedwoodchaletbigenoughtoaccommodatesixmen,andinwhichIwouldsometimesliveforthreeweekstogether;toagasometer,toamotor-house,tothreebigcorrugated-roofedshedsandlock-uphouses,toastagefromwhichtostartgliders,toaworkshopandsoforth。Aroughroadwasmade。WebroughtupgasfromCheapingandelectricityfromWoking,whichplaceIfoundalsoaffordedafriendlyworkshopforlargeroperationsthanIcouldmanage。Ihadtheluckalsotofindamanwhoseemedmyheaven-sentsecond-in-command——Cothopehisnamewas。Hewasaself-educated-man;hehadformerlybeenasapperandhewasoneofthebestandhandiestworkingengineersalive。WithouthimIdonotthinkIcouldhaveachievedhalfwhatIhavedone。

  Attimeshehasbeennotsomuchmyassistantasmycollaborator,andhasfollowedmyfortunestothisday。OthermencameandwentasIneededthem。

  Idonotknowhowfaritispossibletoconveytoanyonewhohasnotexperiencedit,thepeculiarinterest,thepeculiarsatisfactionthatliesinasustainedresearchwhenoneisnothamperedbywantofmoney。Itisadifferentthingfromanyothersortofhumaneffort。Youarefreefromtheexasperatingconflictwithyourfellow-creaturesaltogether——atleastsofarastheessentialworkgoes;thatformeisitspeculiarmerit。

  Scientifictruthistheremotestofmistresses;shehidesinstrangeplaces,sheisattainedbytortuousandlaboriousroads,butSHEISALWAYSTHERE!Wintoherandshewillnotfailyou;

  sheisyoursandmankind’sforever。Sheisreality,theonerealityIhavefoundinthisstrangedisorderofexistence。Shewillnotsulkwithyounormisunderstandyounorcheatyouofyourrewarduponsomepettydoubt。Youcannotchangeherbyadvertisementorclamour,norstifleherinvulgarities。Thingsgrowunderyourhandswhenyouserveher,thingsthatarepermanentasnothingelseispermanentinthewholelifeofman。

  That,Ithink,isthepeculiarsatisfactionofscienceanditsenduringreward。

  Thetakingupofexperimentalworkproducedagreatchangeinmypersonalhabits。IhavetoldhowalreadyonceinmylifeatWimblehurstIhadaperiodofdisciplineandcontinuouseffort,andhow,whenIcametoSouthKensington,IbecamedemoralisedbytheimmenseeffectofLondon,byitsinnumerableimperativedemandsuponmyattentionandcuriosity。AndIpartedwithmuchofmypersonalpridewhenIgaveupscienceforthedevelopmentofTono-Bungay。Butmypovertykeptmeabstinentandmyyouthfulromanticismkeptmechasteuntilmymarriedlifewaswellunderway。TheninalldirectionsIrelaxed。Ididalargeamountofwork,butInevertroubledtothinkwhetheritwasmymaximumnorwhetherthemoodsandindolencesthatcametomeattimeswereavoidablethings。WiththecomingofplentyIateabundantlyandfoolishly,drankfreelyandfollowedmyimpulsesmoreandmorecarelessly。IfeltnoreasonwhyIshoulddoanythingelse。

  NeveratanypointdidIusemyselftotheedgeofmycapacity。

  Theemotionalcrisisofmydivorcedidnotproduceanyimmediatechangeinthesemattersofpersonaldiscipline。Ifoundsomedifficultyatfirstinconcentratingmyminduponscientificwork,itwassomuchmoreexactingthanbusiness,butIgotoverthatdifficultybysmoking。Ibecameaninordinatecigarsmoker;

  itgavememoodsofprofounddepression,butItreatedtheseusuallybythehomeopathicmethod,——bylightinganothercigar。I

  didn’trealiseatallhowloosemymoralandnervousfibrehadbecomeuntilIreachedthepracticalsideofmyinvestigationsandwasfacetofacewiththenecessityoffindingoutjusthowitfelttouseagliderandjustwhatamancoulddowithone。

  Igotintothisrelaxedhabitoflivinginspiteofveryrealtendenciesinmynaturetowardsdiscipline。I’veneverbeeninlovewithself-indulgence。ThatphilosophyofthelooselipandthelaxpaunchisoneforwhichI’vealwayshadaninstinctivedistrust。Ilikebarethings,strippedthings,plain,austereandcontinentthings,finelinesandcoldcolours。Butintheseplethorictimeswhenthereistoomuchcoarsestuffforeverybodyandthestruggleforlifetakestheformofcompetitiveadvertisementandtheefforttofillyourneighbour’seye,whenthereisnourgentdemandeitherforpersonalcourage,soundnervesorstarkbeauty,wefindourselvesbyaccident。Alwaysbeforethesetimesthebulkofthepeopledidnotover-eatthemselves,becausetheycouldn’t,whethertheywantedtodosoornot,andallbutaveryfewwerekept“fit“byunavoidableexerciseandpersonaldanger。Now,ifonlyhepitchhisstandardlowenoughandkeepfreefrompride,almostanyonecanachieveasortofexcess。Youcangothroughcontemporarylifefudgingandevading,indulgingandslacking,neverreallyhungrynorfrightenednorpassionatelystirred,yourhighestmomentameresentimentalorgasm,andyourfirstrealcontactwithprimaryandelementalnecessities,thesweatofyourdeath-bed。SoIthinkitwaswithmyuncle;so,verynearly,itwaswithme。

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