第66章
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  Inthisperversestateofmymind,therecollectionofwhathadpassedsincethemorningwouldnotcomebacktome,andtherewasnoresourcebuttoclosemyjournalandtogetawayfromitforalittlewhile。

  Iopenedthedoorwhichledfrommybedroomintomysitting-room,andhavingpassedthrough,pulledittoagain,topreventanyaccidentincaseofdraughtwiththecandleleftonthedressing-table。Mysitting-roomwindowwaswideopen,andIleanedoutlistlesslytolookatthenight。

  Itwasdarkandquiet。Neithermoonnorstarswerevisible。Therewasasmelllikeraininthestill,heavyair,andIputmyhandoutofthewindow。No。Therainwasonlythreatening,ithadnotcomeyet。

  [NextChapter][TableofContents]WomaninWhite:Chapter21[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter21Iremainedleaningonthewindow-sillfornearlyaquarterofanhour,lookingoutabsentlyintotheblackdarkness,andhearingnothing,exceptnowandthenthevoicesoftheservants,orthedistantsoundofaclosingdoor,inthelowerpartofthehouse。

  JustasIwasturningawaywearilyfromthewindowtogobacktothebedroomandmakeasecondattempttocompletetheunfinishedentryinmyjournal,Ismelttheodouroftobacco-smokestealingtowardsmeontheheavynightair。ThenextmomentIsawatinyredsparkadvancingfromthefartherendofthehouseinthepitchdarkness。Iheardnofootsteps,andIcouldseenothingbutthespark。Ittravelledalonginthenight,passedthewindowatwhichIwasstanding,andstoppedoppositemybedroomwindow,insidewhichIhadleftthelightburningonthedressing-table。

  Thesparkremainedstationaryforamoment,thenmovedbackagaininthedirectionfromwhichithadadvanced。AsIfolloweditsprogressI

  sawasecondredspark,largerthanthefirst,approachingfromthedistance。

  Thetwomettogetherinthedarkness。Rememberingwhosmokedcigarettesandwhosmokedcigars,IinferredimmediatelythattheCounthadcomeoutfirsttolookandlistenundermywindow,andthatSirPercivalhadafterwardsjoinedhim。Theymustbothhavebeenwalkingonthelawn——orIshouldcertainlyhaveheardSirPercival’sheavyfootfall,thoughtheCount’ssoftstepmighthaveescapedme,evenonthegravelwalk。

  Iwaitedquietlyatthewindow,certainthattheycouldneitherofthemseemeinthedarknessoftheroom。

  `What’sthematter?’IheardSirPercivalsayinalowvoice。`Whydon’tyoucomeinandsitdown?’

  `Iwanttoseethelightoutofthatwindow,’repliedtheCountsoftly。

  `Whatharmdoesthelightdo?’

  `Itshowssheisnotinbedyet。Sheissharpenoughtosuspectsomething,andboldenoughtocomedownstairsandlisten,ifshecangetthechance。

  Patience,Percival——patience。’

  `Humbug!You’realwaystalkingofpatience。’

  `Ishalltalkofsomethingelsepresently。Mygoodfriend,youareontheedgeofyourdomesticprecipice,andifIletyougivethewomenoneotherchance,onmysacredwordofhonourtheywillpushyouoverit!’

  `Whatthedevildoyoumean?’

  `Wewillcometoourexplanations,Percival,whenthelightisoutofthatwindow,andwhenIhavehadonelittlelookattheroomsoneachsideofthelibrary,andapeepatthestaircaseaswell。’

  Theyslowlymovedaway,andtherestoftheconversationbetweenthemwhichhadbeenconductedthroughoutinthesamelowtonesceasedtobeaudible。Itwasnomatter。IhadheardenoughtodeterminemeonjustifyingtheCount’sopinionofmysharpnessandmycourage。BeforetheredsparkswereoutofsightinthedarknessIhadmadeupmymindthatthereshouldbealistenerwhenthosetwomensatdowntotheirtalk——andthatthelistener,inspiteofalltheCount’sprecautionstothecontrary,shouldbemyself。Iwantedbutonemotivetosanctiontheacttomyownconscience,andtogivemecourageenoughforperformingit——andthatmotiveIhad。

  Laura’shonour,Laura’shappiness——Laura’slifeitself——mightdependonmyquickearsandmyfaithfulmemorytonight。

  IhadheardtheCountsaythathemeanttoexaminetheroomsoneachsideofthelibrary,andthestaircaseaswell,beforeheenteredonanyexplanationwithSirPercival。Thisexpressionofhisintentionswasnecessarilysufficienttoinformmethatthelibrarywastheroominwhichheproposedthattheconversationshouldtakeplace。TheonemomentoftimewhichwaslongenoughtobringmetothatconclusionwasalsothemomentwhichshowedmeameansofbafflinghisPrecautions——or,inotherwords,ofhearingwhatheandSirPercivalsaidtoeachother,withouttheriskofdescendingatallintothelowerregionsofthehouse。

  InspeakingoftheroomsonthegroundfloorIhavementionedincidentallytheverandahoutsidethem,onwhichtheyallopenedbymeansofFrenchwindows,extendingfromthecornicetothefloor。Thetopofthisverandahwasflat,therain-waterbeingcarriedofffromitbypipesintotankswhichhelpedtosupplythehouse。Onthenarrowleadenroof,whichranalongpastthebedrooms,andwhichwasratherless,Ishouldthink,thanthreefeetbelowthesillsofthewindow,arowofflowerpotswasranged,withwideintervalsbetweeneachpot——thewholebeingprotectedfromfallinginhighwindsbyanornamentalironrailingalongtheedgeoftheroof。

  Theplanwhichhadnowoccurredtomewastogetoutatmysitting-roomwindowontothisroof,tocreepalongnoiselesslytillIreachedthatpartofitwhichwasimmediatelyoverthelibrarywindow,andtocrouchdownbetweentheflower-pots,withmyearagainsttheouterrailing。IfSirPercivalandtheCountsatandsmokedtonight,asIhadseenthemsittingandsmokingmanynightsbefore,withtheirchairscloseattheopenwindow,andtheirfeetstretchedonthezincgardenseatswhichwereplacedundertheverandah,everywordtheysaidtoeachotheraboveawhisperandnolongconversation,asweallknowbyexperience,canbecarriedoninawhispermustinevitablyreachmyears。If,ontheotherhand,theychosetonighttositfarbackinsidetheroom,thenthechanceswerethatIshouldhearlittleornothing——andinthatcase,Imustrunthefarmoreseriousriskoftryingtooutwitthemdownstairs。

  StronglyasIwasfortifiedinmyresolutionbythedesperatenatureofoursituation,IhopedmostferventlythatImightescapethislastemergency。Mycouragewasonlyawoman’scourageafterall,anditwasveryneartofailingmewhenIthoughtoftrustingmyselfonthegroundfloor,atthedeadofnight,withinreachofSirPercivalandtheCount。

  Iwentsoftlybacktomybedroomtotrythesaferexperimentoftheverandahrooffirst。

  Acompletechangeinmydresswasimperativelynecessaryformanyreasons。

  Itookoffmysilkgowntobeginwith,becausetheslightestnoisefromitonthatstillnightmighthavebetrayedme。Inextremovedthewhiteandcumbersomepartsofmyunderclothing,andreplacedthembyapetticoatofdarkflannel。OverthisIputmyblacktravellingcloak,andpulledthehoodontomyhead。InmyordinaryeveningcostumeItookuptheroomofthreemenatleast。Inmypresentdress,whenitwasheldcloseaboutme,nomancouldhavepassedthroughthenarrowestspacesmoreeasilythanI。Thelittlebreadthleftontheroofoftheverandah,betweentheflower-potsononesideandthewallandthewindowsofthehouseontheother,madethisaseriousconsideration。IfIknockedanythingdown,ifImadetheleastnoise,whocouldsaywhattheconsequencesmightbe?

  IonlywaitedtoputthematchesnearthecandlebeforeIextinguishedit,andgropedmywaybackintothesitting-room。Ilockedthedoor,asIhadlockedmybedroomdoor——thenquietlygotoutofthewindow,andcautiouslysetmyfeetontheleadenroofoftheverandah。

  Mytworoomswereattheinnerextremityofthenewwingofthehouseinwhichwealllived,andIhadfivewindowstopassbeforeIcouldreachthepositionitwasnecessarytotakeupimmediatelyoverthelibrary。

  Thefirstwindowbelongedtoaspareroomwhichwasempty。ThesecondandthirdwindowsbelongedtoLaura’sroom。ThefourthwindowbelongedtoSirPercival’sroom。ThefifthbelongedtotheCountess’sroom。Theothers,bywhichitwasnotnecessaryformetopass,werethewindowsoftheCount’sdressing-room,ofthebathroom,andofthesecondemptyspareroom。

  Nosoundreachedmyears——theblackblindingdarknessofthenightwasallroundmewhenIfirststoodontheverandah,exceptatthatpartofitwhichMadameFosco’swindowoverlooked。There,attheveryplaceabovethelibrarytowhichmycoursewasdirected——thereIsawagleamoflightITheCountesswasnotyetinbed。

  Itwastoolatetodrawback——itwasnotimetowait。Ideterminedtogoonatallhazards,andtrustforsecuritytomyowncautionandtothedarknessofthenight。`ForLaura’ssake!’Ithoughttomyself,asItookthefirststepforwardontheroof,withonehandholdingmycloakcloseroundme,andtheothergropingagainstthewallofthehouse。Itwasbettertobrushclosebythewallthantoriskstrikingmyfeetagainsttheflowerpotswithinafewinchesofme,ontheotherside。

  Ipassedthedarkwindowofthespareroom,tryingtheleadenroofateachstepwithmyfootbeforeIriskedrestingmyweightonit。IpassedthedarkwindowsofLaura’sroom`Godblessherandkeephertonight!’。

  IpassedthedarkwindowofSirPercival’sroom。ThenIwaitedamoment,kneltdownwithmyhandstosupportme,andsocrepttomyposition,undertheprotectionofthelowwallbetweenthebottomofthelightedwindowandtheverandahroof。

  WhenIventuredtolookupatthewindowitselfIfoundthatthetopofitonlywasopen,andthattheblindinsidewasdrawndown。WhileI

  waslookingIsawtheshadowofMadameFoscopassacrossthewhitefieldoftheblind——thenpassslowlybackagain。Thusfarshecouldnothaveheardme,ortheshadowwouldsurelyhavestoppedattheblind,evenifshehadwantedcourageenoughtoopentheWindowandlookout?

  Iplacedmyselfsidewaysagainsttherailingoftheverandah——firstascertaining,bytouchingthem,thepositionoftheflowerpotsoneithersideofme。Therewasroomenoughformetositbetweenthemandnomore。

  Thesweet-scentedleavesofthefloweronmylefthandjustbrushedmycheekasIlightlyrestedmyheadagainsttherailing。

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