第44章
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  Ifhehadmarriedme,Ishouldhavemadehiscigarettes,ashiswifedoes——Ishouldhaveheldmytonguewhenhelookedatme,assheholdshers。

  Iamalmostafraidtoconfessit。eventothesesecretpages。Themanhasinterestedme,hasattractedme,hasforcedmetolikehimIntwoshortdayshehasmadehiswaystraightintomyfavourableestimation,andhowhehasworkedthemiracleismorethanIcantell。

  Itabsolutelystartlesme,nowheisinmymind,tofindhowplainlyIseehim!——howmuchmoreplainlythanIseeSirPercival,orMrFairlie,orWalterHartright,oranyotherabsentpersonofwhomIthink,withtheoneexceptionofLauraherself!Icanhearhisvoice,asifhewasspeakingatthismoment。Iknowwhathisconversationwasyesterday,aswellasifIwashearingitnow。HowamItodescribehim?Therearepeculiaritiesinhispersonalappearance,hishabits。andhisamusements,whichIshouldblameintheboldestterms,orridiculeinthemostmercilessmanner,ifIhadseentheminanotherman。Whatisitthatmakesmeunabletoblamethem,ortoridiculetheminhim?

  Forexample,heisimmenselyfat。BeforethistimeIhavealwaysespeciallydislikedcorpulenthumanity。Ihavealwaysmaintainedthatthepopularnotionofconnectingexcessivegrossnessofsizeandexcessivegood-humourasinseparableallieswasequivalenttodeclaring,eitherthatnopeoplebutamiablepeopleevergetfat,orthattheaccidentaladditionofsomanypoundsoffleshhasadirectlyfavourableinfluenceoverthedispositionofthepersononwhosebodytheyaccumulate。Ihaveinvariablycombatedboththeseabsurdassertionsbyquotingexamplesoffatpeoplewhowereasmean,vicious,andcruelastheleanestandtheworstoftheirneighbours。

  IhaveaskedwhetherHenrytheEighthwasanamiablycharacter?WhetherPopeAlexandertheSixthwasagoodman?WhetherMrMurdererandMrsMurderessManningwerenotbothunusuallystoutpeople?Whetherhirednurses,proverbiallyascruelasetofwomenasaretohefoundinallEngland,werenot,forthemostpart,alsoasfatasetofwomenasaretobefoundinallEngland?——

  andsoon,throughdozensofotherexamples,modernandancient,nativeandforeign,highandlow。HoldingthesestrongopinionsonthesubjectwithmightandmainasIdoatthismoment,here,nevertheless,isCountFosco,asfatasHenrytheEighthhimself,establishedinmyfavour,atoneday’snotice,withoutletorhindrancefromhisownodiouscorpulence。

  Marvellousindeed!

  Isithisfacethathasrecommendedhim?

  Itmaybehisface。Heisamostremarkablelikeness,onalargescale,ofthegreatNapoleon。HisfeatureshaveNapoleon’smagnificentregularity——hisexpressionrecallsthegrandlycalm,immovablepoweroftheGreatSoldier’sface。Thisstrikingresemblancecertainlyimpressedme,tobeginwith;butthereissomethinginhimbesidestheresemblance,whichhasimpressedmemore。IthinktheinfluenceIamnowtryingtofindisinhiseyes。TheyarethemostunfathomablegreyeyesIeversaw,andtheyhaveattimesacold,clear,beautiful,irresistibleglitterinthemwhichforcesmetolookathim,andyetcausesmesensations,whenIdolook,whichIwouldrathernotfeel。Otherpartsofhisfaceandheadhavetheirstrangepeculiarities。Hiscomplexion,forinstance,hasasingularsallow-fairness,somuchatvariancewiththedark-browncolourofhishair,thatIsuspectthehairofbeingawig,andhisface,closelyshavenallover,issmootherandfreerfromallmarksandwrinklesthanmine,thoughaccordingtoSirPercival’saccountofhimheiscloseonsixtyyearsofage。Butthesearenottheprominentpersonalcharacteristicswhichdistinguishhim,tomymind,fromalltheothermenIhaveeverseen。Themarkedpeculiaritywhichsingleshimoutfromtherankandfileofhumanityliesentirely,sofarasIcantellatpresent,intheextraordinaryexpressionandextraordinarypowerofhiseyes。

  Hismannerandhiscommandofourlanguagemayalsohaveassistedhim,insomedegree,toestablishhimselfinmygoodopinion。Hehasthatquietdeference,thatlookofpleased,attentiveinterestinlisteningtoawoman,andthatsecretgentlenessinhisvoiceinspeakingtoawoman,which,saywhatwemay,wecannoneofusresist。Here,too,hisunusualcommandoftheEnglishlanguagenecessarilyhelpshim。IhadoftenheardoftheextraordinaryaptitudewhichmanyItaliansshowinmasteringourstrong,hard,Northernspeech;but,untilIsawCountFosco,IhadneversupposeditpossiblethatanyforeignercouldhavespokenEnglishashesneaksit。

  Therearetimeswhenitisalmostimpossibletodetect,byhisaccent,thatheisnotacountrymanofourown,andasforfluency,thereareveryfewbornEnglishmenwhocantalkwithasfewstoppagesandrepetitionsastheCount。Hemayconstructhissentencesmoreorlessintheforeignway,butIhaveneveryetheardhimuseawrongexpression,orhesitateforamomentinhischoiceofaword。

  Allthesmallestcharacteristicsofthisstrangemanhavesomethingstrikinglyoriginalandperplexinglycontradictoryinthem。Fatasheisandoldasheis,hismovementsareastonishinglylightandeasy。Heisasnoiselessinaroomasanyofuswomen,andmorethanthat,withallhislookofunmistakablementalfirmnessandpower,heisasnervouslysensitiveastheweakestofus。HestartsatchancenoisesasinveteratelyasLauraherself。Hewincedandshudderedyesterday,whenSirPercivalbeatoneofthespaniels,sothatIfeltashamedofmyownwantoftendernessandsensibilitybycomparisonwiththeCount。

  Therelationofthislastincidentremindsmeofoneofhismostcuriouspeculiarities,whichIhavenotyetmentioned——hisextraordinaryfondnessforpetanimals。

  SomeofthesehehasleftontheContinent,buthehasbroughtwithhimtothishouseacockatoo,twocanary-birds,andawholefamilyofwhitemice。Heattendstoallthenecessitiesofthesestrangefavouriteshimself,andhehastaughtthecreaturestobesurprisinglyfondofhimandfamiliarwithhim。Thecockatoo,amostviciousandtreacherousbirdtowardseveryoneelse,absolutelyseemstolovehim。Whenheletsitoutofitscage,ithopsontohisknee,andclawsitswayuphisgreatbigbody,andrubsitstop-knotagainsthissallowdoublechininthemostcaressingmannerimaginable。Hehasonlytosetthedoorsofthecanaries’cagesopen,andtocallthem,andtheprettylittlecleverlytrainedcreaturesperchfearlesslyonhishand,mounthisfatoutstretchedfingersonebyone,whenhetellsthemto`goupstairs,’andsingtogetherasiftheywouldbursttheirthroatswithdelightwhentheygettothetopfinger。Hiswhitemiceliveinalittlepagodaofgaily-paintedwirework,designedandmadebyhimself。

  Theyarealmostastameasthecanaries,andtheyareperpetuallyletoutlikethecanaries。Theycrawlalloverhim,poppinginandoutofhiswaistcoat,andsittingincouples,whiteassnow,onhiscapaciousshoulders。Heseemstobeevenfonderofhismicethanofhisotherpets,smilesatthem,andkissesthem,andcallsthembyallsortsofendearingnames。IfitbepossibletosupposeanEnglishmanwithanytasteforsuchchildishinterestsandamusementsasthese,thatEnglishmanwouldcertainlyfeelratherashamedofthem,andwouldbeanxioustoapologiseforthem,inthecompanyofgrown-uppeople。ButtheCount,apparently,seesnothingridiculousintheamazingcontrastbetweenhiscolossalselfandhisfraillittlepets。

  Hewouldblandlykisshiswhitemiceandtwittertohiscanary-birdsamidanassemblyofEnglishfox-hunters,andwouldonlypitythemasbarbarianswhentheywerealllaughingtheirloudestathim。

  ItseemshardlycrediblewhileIamwritingitdown,butitiscertainlytrue,thatthissameman,whohasallthefondnessofanoldmaidforhiscockatoo,andallthesmalldexteritiesofanorgan-boyinmanaginghiswhitemice,cantalk,whenanythinghappenstorousehim,withadaringindependenceofthought,aknowledgeofbooksineverylanguage,andanexperienceofsocietyinhalfthecapitalsofEurope,whichwouldmakehimtheprominentpersonageofanyassemblyinthecivilisedworld。Thistrainerofcanary-birds,thisarchitectofapagodaforwhitemice,isasSirPercivalhimselfhastoldmeoneofthefirstexperimentalchemistsliving,andhasdiscovered,amongotherwonderfulinventions,ameansofpetrifyingthebodyafterdeath,soastopreserveit,ashardasmarble,totheendoftime。Thisfat,indolent,elderlyman,whosenervesaresofinelystrungthathestartsatchancenoises,andwinceswhenheseesahouse-spanielgetawhipping,wentintothestable-yardonthemorningafterhisarrival,andputhishandontheheadofachainedbloodhound——abeastsosavagethattheverygroomwhofeedshimkeepsoutofhisreach。HiswifeandIwerepresent,andIshallnotforgetthescenethatfollowed,shortasitwas。

  `Mindthatdog,sir,’saidthegroom;`hefliesateverybody!’`Hedoesthat,myfriend,’repliedtheCountquietly,`becauseeverybodyisafraidofhim。Letusseeifhefliesatme。’Andhelaidhisplump,yellow-whitefingers,onwhichthecanary-birdshadbeenperchingtenminutesbefore,upontheformidablebrute’shead,andlookedhimstraightintheeyes。

  `Youbigdogsareallcowards,’hesaid,addressingtheanimalcontemptuously,withhisfaceandthedog’swithinaninchofeachother。`Youwouldkillapoorcat,youinfernalcoward。Youwouldflyatastarvingbeggar,youinfernalcoward。Anythingthatyoucansurpriseunawares——anythingthatisafraidofyourbigbody,andyourwickedwhiteteeth,andyourslobbering,bloodthirstymouth,isthethingyouliketoflyat。Youcouldthrottlemeatthismoment,youmean,miserablebully,andyoudaren’tsomuchaslookmeintheface,becauseI’mnotafraidofyou。Willyouthinkbetterofit,andtryyourteethinmyfatneck?Bah!notyou!’Heturnedaway,laughingattheastonishmentofthemenintheyard,andthedogcreptbackmeeklytohiskennel。`Ah!mynicewaistcoat!’hesaidpathetically。

  `IamsorryIcamehere。Someofthatbrute’sslobberhasgotonmyprettycleanwaistcoat。’Thosewordsexpressanotherofhisincomprehensibleoddities。

  Heisasfondoffineclothesastheveriestfoolinexistence,andhasappearedinfourmagnificentwaistcoatsalready——alloflightgarishcolours,andallimmenselylargeevenforhim——inthetwodaysofhisresidenceatBlackwaterPark。

  Histactandclevernessinsmallthingsarequiteasnoticeableasthesingularinconsistenciesinhischaracter,andthechildishtrivialityofhisordinarytastesandpursuits。

  Icanseealreadythathemeanstoliveonexcellenttermswithallofusduringtheperiodofhissojourninthisplace。HehasevidentlydiscoveredthatLaurasecretlydislikeshimsheconfessedasmuchtomewhenIpressedheronthesubject——buthehasalsofoundoutthatsheisextravagantlyfondofflowers。Whenevershewantsanosegayhehasgotonetogiveher,gatheredandarrangedbyhimself,andgreatlytomyamusement,heisalwayscunninglyprovidedwithaduplicate,composedofexactlythesameflowers,groupedinexactlythesameway,toappeasehisicilyjealouswifebeforeshecansomuchasthinkherselfaggrieved。HismanagementoftheCountessinpublicisasighttosee。Hebowstoher,hehabituallyaddressesheras`myangel,’hecarrieshiscanariestopayherlittlevisitsonhisfingersandtosingtoher,hekissesherhandwhenshegiveshimhiscigarettes;hepresentsherwithsugar-plumsinreturn,whichheputsintohermouthplayfully,fromaboxinhispocket。Therodofironwithwhichherulesherneverappearsincompany——itisaprivaterod,andisalwayskeptupstairs。

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