第46章
加入书架 A- A+
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  ThisrelievedErnestofagooddealoftrouble,andwasbetterafterallfortheinvestmentsthemselves;for,asPryerjustlysaid,amanmustnothaveafaintheartifhehopestosucceedinbuyingandsellingupontheStockExchange,andseeingErnestnervousmadePryernervoustoo——atleast,hesaiditdid。SothemoneydriftedmoreandmoreintoPryer’shands。AsforPryerhimself,hehadnothingbuthiscuracyandasmallallowancefromhisfather。

  SomeofErnest’soldfriendsgotaninklingfromhislettersofwhathewasdoing,anddidtheirutmosttodissuadehim,buthewasasinfatuatedasayoungloveroftwoandtwenty。Findingthatthesefriendsdisapproved,hedroppedawayfromthem,andthey,beingboredwithhisegotismandhigh-flownideas,werenotsorrytolethimdoso。Ofcourse,hesaidnothingabouthisspeculations——

  indeed,hehardlyknewthatanythingdoneinsogoodacausecouldbecalledspeculation。AtBattersby,whenhisfatherurgedhimtolookoutforanextpresentation,andevenbroughtoneortwopromisingonesunderhisnotice,hemadeobjectionsandexcuses,thoughalwayspromisingtodoashisfatherdesiredveryshortly。

  Byandbyasubtle,indefinablemalaisebegantotakepossessionofhim。Ioncesawaveryyoungfoaltryingtoeatsomemostobjectionablerefuse,andunabletomakeupitsmindwhetheritwasgoodorno。Clearlyitwantedtobetold。Ifitsmotherhadseenwhatitwasdoingshewouldhavesetitrightinamoment,andassoonaseverithadbeentoldthatwhatitwaseatingwasfilth,thefoalwouldhaverecogniseditandneverhavewantedtobetoldagain;butthefoalcouldnotsettlethematterforitself,ormakeupitsmindwhetheritlikedwhatitwastryingtoeatorno,withoutassistancefromwithout。Isupposeitwouldhavecometodosobyandby,butitwaswastingtimeandtrouble,whichasinglelookfromitsmotherwouldhavesaved,justaswortwillintimefermentofitself,butwillfermentmuchmorequicklyifalittleyeastbeaddedtoit。Inthematterofknowingwhatgivesuspleasurewearealllikewort,andifunaidedfromwithoutcanonlyfermentslowlyandtoilsomely。

  Myunhappyheroaboutthistimewasverymuchlikethefoal,orratherhefeltmuchwhatthefoalwouldhavefeltifitsmotherandalltheothergrown-uphorsesinthefieldhadvowedthatwhatitwaseatingwasthemostexcellentandnutritiousfoodtobefoundanywhere。Hewassoanxioustodowhatwasright,andsoreadytobelievethateveryoneknewbetterthanhimself,thatheneverventuredtoadmittohimselfthathemightbeallthewhileonahopelesslywrongtack。Itdidnotoccurtohimthattheremightbeablunderanywhere,muchlessdiditoccurtohimtotryandfindoutwheretheblunderwas。Neverthelesshebecamedailymorefullofmalaise,anddaily,onlyheknewitnot,moreripeforanexplosionshouldasparkfalluponhim。

  Onething,however,didbegintoloomoutofthegeneralvagueness,andtothisheinstinctivelyturnedastryingtoseizeit——Imean,thefactthathewassavingveryfewsouls,whereastherewerethousandsandthousandsbeinglosthourlyallaroundhimwhichalittleenergysuchasMrHawke’smightsave。Dayafterdaywentby,andwhatwashedoing?Standingonprofessionaletiquette,andprayingthathissharesmightgoupanddownashewantedthem,sothattheymightgivehimmoneyenoughtoenablehimtoregeneratetheuniverse。Butinthemeantimethepeopleweredying。Howmanysoulswouldnotbedoomedtoendlessagesofthemostfrightfultormentsthatthemindcouldthinkof,beforehecouldbringhisspiritualpathologyenginetobearuponthem?WhymighthenotstandandpreachashesawtheDissentersdoingsometimesinLincoln’sInnFieldsandotherthoroughfares?HecouldsayallthatMrHawkehadsaid。MrHawkewasaverypoorcreatureinErnest’seyesnow,forhewasaLowChurchman,butweshouldnotbeabovelearningfromanyone,andsurelyhecouldaffecthishearersaspowerfullyasMrHawkehadaffectedhimifheonlyhadthecouragetosettowork。Thepeoplewhomhesawpreachinginthesquaressometimesdrewlargeaudiences。Hecouldatanyratepreachbetterthanthey。

  ErnestbroachedthistoPryer,whotreateditassomethingtoooutrageoustobeeventhoughtof。Nothing,hesaid,couldmoretendtolowerthedignityoftheclergyandbringtheChurchintocontempt。Hismannerwasbrusque,andevenrude。

  Ernestventuredalittlemilddissent;headmitteditwasnotusual,butsomethingatanyratemustbedone,andthatquickly。ThiswashowWesleyandWhitfieldhadbegunthatgreatmovementwhichhadkindledreligiouslifeinthemindsofhundredsofthousands。Thiswasnotimetobestandingondignity。ItwasjustbecauseWesleyandWhitfieldhaddonewhattheChurchwouldnotthattheyhadwonmentofollowthemwhomtheChurchhadnowlost。

  PryereyedErnestsearchingly,andafterapausesaid,“Idon’tknowwhattomakeofyou,Pontifex;youareatoncesoveryrightandsoverywrong。Iagreewithyouheartilythatsomethingshouldbedone,butitmustnotbedoneinawaywhichexperiencehasshownleadstonothingbutfanaticismanddissent。DoyouapproveoftheseWesleyans?DoyouholdyourordinationvowssocheaplyastothinkthatitdoesnotmatterwhethertheservicesoftheChurchareperformedinherchurchesandwithalldueceremonyornot?Ifyoudo——then,frankly,youhadnobusinesstobeordained;ifyoudonot,thenrememberthatoneofthefirstdutiesofayoungdeaconisobediencetoauthority。NeithertheCatholicChurch,noryettheChurchofEnglandallowsherclergytopreachinthestreetsofcitieswherethereisnolackofchurches。”

  Ernestfelttheforceofthis,andPryersawthathewavered。

  “Weareliving。”hecontinuedmoregenially,“inanageoftransition,andinacountrywhich,thoughithasgainedmuchbytheReformation,doesnotperceivehowmuchithasalsolost。YoucannotandmustnothawkChristaboutinthestreetsasthoughyouwereinaheathencountrywhoseinhabitantshadneverheardofhim。

  ThepeoplehereinLondonhavehadamplewarning。Everychurchtheypassisaprotesttothemagainsttheirlives,andacalltothemtorepent。Everychurch-belltheyhearisawitnessagainstthem,everyoneofthosewhomtheymeetonSundaysgoingtoorcomingfromchurchisawarningvoicefromGod。Ifthesecountlessinfluencesproducenoeffectuponthem,neitherwillthefewtransientwordswhichtheywouldhearfromyou。YouarelikeDives,andthinkthatifonerosefromthedeadtheywouldhearhim。Perhapstheymight;

  butthenyoucannotpretendthatyouhaverisenfromthedead。”

  Thoughthelastfewwordswerespokenlaughingly,therewasasub-

  sneeraboutthemwhichmadeErnestwince;buthewasquitesubdued,andsotheconversationended。ItleftErnest,however,notforthefirsttime,consciouslydissatisfiedwithPryer,andinclinedtosethisfriend’sopinionononeside——notopenly,butquietly,andwithouttellingPryeranythingaboutit。

  HehadhardlypartedfromPryerbeforethereoccurredanotherincidentwhichstrengthenedhisdiscontent。Hehadfallen,asI

  haveshown,amongagangofspiritualthievesorcoiners,whopassedthebasestmetaluponhimwithouthisfindingitout,sochildishandinexperiencedwasheinthewaysofanythingbutthosebackeddiesoftheworld,schoolsanduniversities。Amongthebadthreepennypieceswhichhadbeenpassedoffuponhim,andwhichhekeptforsmallhourlydisbursement,wasaremarkthatpoorpeopleweremuchnicerthanthericherandbettereducated。Ernestnowsaidthathealwaystravelledthirdclassnotbecauseitwascheaper,butbecausethepeoplewhomhemetinthirdclasscarriagesweresomuchpleasanterandbetterbehaved。AsfortheyoungmenwhoattendedErnest’seveningclasses,theywerepronouncedtobemoreintelligentandbetterorderedgenerallythantheaveragerunofOxfordandCambridgemen。OurfoolishyoungfriendhavingheardPryertalktothiseffect,caughtupallhesaidandreproduceditmoresuo。

  Oneevening,however,aboutthistime,whomshouldheseecomingalongasmallstreetnotfarfromhisownbut,ofallpersonsintheworld,Towneley,lookingasfulloflifeandgoodspiritsasever,andifpossibleevenhandsomerthanhehadbeenatCambridge。MuchasErnestlikedhimhefoundhimselfshrinkingfromspeakingtohim,andwasendeavouringtopasshimwithoutdoingsowhenTowneleysawhimandstoppedhimatonce,beingpleasedtoseeanoldCambridgeface。Heseemedforthemomentalittleconfusedatbeingseeninsuchaneighbourhood,butrecoveredhimselfsosoonthatErnesthardlynoticedit,andthenplungedintoafewkindlyremarksaboutoldtimes。ErnestfeltthathequailedashesawTowneley’seyewandertohiswhitenecktieandsawthathewasbeingreckonedup,andratherdisapprovinglyreckonedup,asaparson。ItwasthemerestpassingshadeuponTowneley’sface,butErnesthadfeltit。

  TowneleysaidafewwordsofcommonformtoErnestabouthisprofessionasbeingwhathethoughtwouldbemostlikelytointeresthim,andErnest,stillconfusedandshy,gavehimforlackofsomethingbettertosayhislittlethreepenny-bitaboutpoorpeoplebeingsoverynice。Towneleytookthisforwhatitwasworthandnoddedassent,whereonErnestimprudentlywentfurtherandsaid“Don’tyoulikepoorpeopleverymuchyourself?”

  Towneleygavehisfaceacomicalbutgood-naturedscrew,andsaidquietly,butslowlyanddecidedly,“No,no,no。”andescaped。

  ItwasalloverwithErnestfromthatmoment。Asusualhedidnotknowit,buthehadenterednonethelessuponanotherreaction。

  TowneleyhadjusttakenErnest’sthreepenny-bitintohishands,lookedatitandreturnedittohimasabadone。Whydidheseeinamomentthatitwasabadonenow,thoughhehadbeenunabletoseeitwhenhehadtakenitfromPryer?Ofcoursesomepoorpeoplewereverynice,andalwayswouldbeso,butasthoughscaleshadfallensuddenlyfromhiseyeshesawthatnoonewasnicerforbeingpoor,andthatbetweentheupperandlowerclassestherewasagulfwhichamountedpracticallytoanimpassablebarrier。

  Thateveninghereflectedagooddeal。IfTowneleywasright,andErnestfeltthatthe“No“hadappliednottotheremarkaboutpoorpeopleonly,buttothewholeschemeandscopeofhisownrecentlyadoptedideas,heandPryermustsurelybeonawrongtrack。

  Towneleyhadnotarguedwithhim;hehadsaidonewordonly,andthatoneoftheshortestinthelanguage,butErnestwasinafitstateforinoculation,andtheminuteparticleofvirussetaboutworkingimmediately。

  Whichdidhenowthinkwasmostlikelytohavetakenthejusterviewoflifeandthings,andwhomwoulditbebesttoimitate,TowneleyorPryer?Hisheartreturnedanswertoitselfwithoutamoment’shesitation。ThefacesofmenlikeTowneleywereopenandkindly;

  theylookedasifateasethemselves,andasthoughtheywouldsetallwhohadtodowiththemateaseasfarasmightbe。ThefacesofPryerandhisfriendswerenotlikethis。WhyhadhefelttacitlyrebukedassoonashehadmetTowneley?WashenotaChristian?Certainly;hebelievedintheChurchofEnglandasamatterofcourse。ThenhowcouldhebehimselfwrongintryingtoactuptothefaiththatheandTowneleyheldincommon?Hewastryingtoleadaquiet,unobtrusivelifeofself-devotion,whereasTowneleywasnot,sofarashecouldsee,tryingtodoanythingofthekind;hewasonlytryingtogetoncomfortablyintheworld,andtolookandbeasniceaspossible。Andhewasnice,andErnestknewthatsuchmenashimselfandPryerwerenotnice,andhisolddejectioncameoverhim。

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