AsTomsaidthishiseyeinvoluntarilywanderedfromthewidow’sface，tothecomfortsaroundhim。
Thewidowlookedmorepuzzledthanever，andmadeanefforttorise。
Tomgentlypressedherhand，asiftodetainher，andshekeptherseat，Widows，gentlemen，arenotusuallytimorous，asmyuncleusedtosay。
`IamsureIamverymuchobligedtoyou，sir，foryourgoodopinion，’
saidthebuxomlandlady，halflaughing。`andifeverImarryagain——’
`If，’saidTomSmart，lookingveryshrewdlyoutoftheright-handcornerofhislefteye。`If——’
`Well，’saidthewidow，laughingoutrightthistime。`WhenI
do，IhopeIshallhaveasgoodahusbandasyoudescribe。’
`Jinkinstowit，’saidTom。
`Lor’，sir！’exclaimedthewidow。
`Oh，don’ttellme，’saidTom，`Iknowhim。’
`Iamsurenobodywhoknowshim，knowsanythingbadofhim，’saidthewidow，bridlingupatthemysteriousairwithwhichTomhadspoken。
`Hem！’saidTomSmart。
Thewidowbegantothinkitwashightimetocry，soshetookoutherhandkerchief，andinquiredwhetherTomwishedtoinsulther：whetherhethoughtitlikeagentlemantotakeawaythecharacterofanothergentlemanbehindhisback：why，ifhehadgotanythingtosay，hedidn’tsayittotheman，likeaman，insteadofterrifyingapoorweakwomaninthatway。
andsoforth。
`I’llsayittohimfastenough，’saidTom，`onlyIwantyoutohearitfirst，’
`Whatisit？’inquiredthewidow，lookingintentlyinTom’scountenance。
`I’llastonishyou，’saidTom，puttinghishandinhispocket。
`Ifitis，thathewantsmoney，’saidthewidow，`Iknowthatalready，andyouneedn’ttroubleyourself。’
`Pooh，nonsense，that’snothing，’saidTomSmart。`Iwantmoney。
’Tan’tthat。’
`Oh，dear，whatcanitbe？’exclaimedthepoorwidow。
`Don’tbefrightened，’saidTomSmart。Heslowlydrewforththeletter，andunfoldedit。`Youwon’tscream？’saidTom，doubtfully。
`No，no，’repliedthewidow。`letmeseeit。’
`Youwon’tgofaintingaway，oranyofthatnonsense？’saidTom。
`No，no，’returnedthewidow，hastily。
`Anddon’trunout，andblowhimup，’saidTom，`becauseI’lldoallthatforyou。youhadbetternotexertyourself。’
`Well，well，’saidthewidow，`letmeseeit。’
`Iwill，’repliedTomSmart。and，withthesewords，heplacedtheletterinthewidow’shand。
Gentlemen，Ihaveheardmyunclesay，thatTomSmartsaidthewidow’slamentationswhensheheardthedisclosurewouldhavepiercedaheartofstone。Tomwascertainlyverytender-hearted，buttheypiercedhis，totheverycore。Thewidowrockedherselftoandfro，andwrungherhands。
`Oh，thedeceptionandvillainyofman！’saidthewidow。
`Frightful，mydearma’am。butcomposeyourself，’saidTomSmart。
`Oh，Ican’tcomposemyself，’shriekedthewidow。`IshallneverfindanyoneelseIcanlovesomuch！’
`Ohyes，youwill，mydearsoul，’saidTomSmart，lettingfallashowerofthelargestsizedtears，inpityforthewidow’smisfortunes。TomSmart，intheenergyofhiscompassion，hadputhisarmroundthewidow’swaist。
andthewidow，inapassionofgrief，hadclaspedTom’shand。ShelookedupinTom’sface，andsmiledthroughhertears。Tomlookeddowninhers，andsmiledthroughhis。
Icouldneverfindout，gentlemen，whetherTomdidordidnotkissthewidowatthatparticularmoment。Heusedtotellmyunclehedidn’t，butIhavemydoubtsaboutit。Betweenourselves，gentlemen，Iratherthinkhedid。
Atallevents，Tomkickedtheverytallmanoutatthefrontdoorhalfanhourafter，andmarriedthewidowamonthafter。Andheusedtodriveaboutthecountry，withtheclay-colouredgigwithredwheels，andthevixenishmarewiththefastpace，tillhegaveupbusinessmanyyearsafterwards，andwenttoFrancewithhiswife。andthentheoldhousewaspulleddown。
Willyouallowmetoaskyou，saidtheinquisitiveoldgentleman，whatbecameofthechair？
Why，repliedtheone-eyedbagman，itwasobservedtocreakverymuchonthedayofthewedding。butTomSmartcouldn’tsayforcertainwhetheritwaswithpleasureorbodilyinfirmity。Heratherthoughtitwasthelatter，though，foritneverspokeafterwards。
Everybodybelievedthestory，didn’tthey？saidthedirty-facedman，re-fillinghispipe。
ExceptTom’senemies，repliedthebagman。Someof’emsaidTominventeditaltogether。andotherssaidhewasdrunk，andfanciedit，andgotholdofthewrongtrousersbymistakebeforehewenttobed。Butnobodyevermindedwhattheysaid。
Tomsaiditwasalltrue？
Everyword。
Andyouruncle？
Everyletter。
Theymusthavebeenverynicemen，bothof’em，saidthedirty-facedman。
Yes，theywere，repliedthebagman。verynicemenindeed！
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter15[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXVINWHICHISGIVENAFAITHFULPORTRAITUREOFTWODISTINGUISHED
PERSONS：ANDANACCURATEDESCRIPTIONOFAPUBLICBREAKFASTINTHEIRHOUSE
ANDGROUNDS。WHICHPUBLICBREAKFASTLEADSTOTHERECOGNITIONOFANOLD
ACQUAINTANCE，ANDTHECOMMENCEMENTOFANOTHERCHAPTER
MR。PICKWICK’SconsciencehadbeensomewhatreproachinghimforhisrecentneglectofhisfriendsatthePeacock。andhewasjustonthepointofwalkingforthinquestofthem，onthethirdmorningaftertheelectionhadterminated，whenhisfaithfulvaletputintohishandacard，onwhichwasengravedthefollowinginscription：——Mrs。LeoHunter。TheDen。Eatanswill。
Person’sawaitin’，saidSam，epigrammatically。
Doesthepersonwantme，Sam？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Hewantsyouparticklar。andnooneelse’lldo，astheDevil’sprivatesecretarysaidvenhefetchedavayDoctorFaustus，repliedMr。Weller。
He。Isitagentleman？saidMr。Pickwick。
Awerygoodimitationo’one，ifitan’t，repliedMr。Weller。
Butthisisalady’scard，saidMr。Pickwick。
Givenmebyagen’l’m’n，hows’ever，repliedSam，andhe’sawaitin’
inthedrawing-room——saidhe’dratherwaitallday，thannotseeyou。
Mr。Pickwick，onhearingthisdetermination，descendedtothedrawing-room，wheresatagraveman，whostarteduponhisentrance，andsaid，withanairofprofoundrespect：
Mr。Pickwick，Ipresume？
Thesame。
Allowme，sir，thehonourofgraspingyourhand。Permitme，sir，toshakeit，saidthegraveman。
Certainly，saidMr。Pickwick。
Thestrangershooktheextendedhand，andthencontinued。
Wehaveheardofyourfame，sir。ThenoiseofyourantiquariandiscussionhasreachedtheearsofMrs。LeoHunter——mywife，sir。IamMr。
LeoHunter——thestrangerpaused，asifheexpectedthatMr。Pickwickwouldbeovercomebythedisclosure。butseeingthatheremainedperfectlycalm，proceeded。
Mywife，sir——Mrs。LeoHunter——isproudtonumberamongheracquaintanceallthosewhohaverenderedthemselvescelebratedbytheirworksandtalents。
Permitme，sir，toplaceinaconspicuouspartofthelistthenameofMr。Pickwick，andhisbrothermembersoftheclubthatderivesitsnamefromhim。
Ishallbeextremelyhappytomaketheacquaintanceofsuchalady，sir，repliedMr。Pickwick。
Youshallmakeit，sir，saidthegraveman。To-morrowmorning，sir，wegiveapublicbreakfast——afetechampetre——toagreatnumberofthosewhohaverenderedthemselvescelebratedbytheirworksandtalents。
PermitMrs。LeoHunter，sir，tohavethegratificationofseeingyouattheDen。
Withgreatpleasure，repliedMr。Pickwick。
Mrs。LeoHunterhasmanyofthesebreakfasts，sir，resumedthenewacquaintance——`feastsofreason，sir，andflowsofsoul，’assomebodywhowroteasonnettoMrs。LeoHunteronherbreakfasts，feelinglyandoriginallyobserved。
Washecelebratedforhisworksandtalents？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Hewas，sir，repliedthegraveman，allMrs。LeoHunter’sacquaintanceare。itisherambition，sir，tohavenootheracquaintance。
Itisaverynobleambition，saidMr。Pickwick。
WhenIinformMrs。LeoHunter，thatthatremarkfellfromyourlips，sir，shewillindeedbeproud，saidthegraveman。Youhaveagentlemaninyourtrain，whohasproducedsomebeautifullittlepoems，Ithink，sir。
MyfriendMr。Snodgrasshasagreattasteforpoetry，repliedMr。
Pickwick。
SohasMrs。LeoHunter，sir。Shedotesonpoetry，sir。Sheadoresit。
Imaysaythatherwholesoulandmindarewoundup，andentwinedwithit。Shehasproducedsomedelightfulpieces，herself，sir。Youmayhavemetwithher`OdetoanExpiringFrog，’sir。
Idon’tthinkIhave，saidMr。Pickwick。
Youastonishme，sir，saidMr。LeoHunter。Itcreatedanimmensesensation。Itwassignedwithan`L’andeightstars，andappearedoriginallyinaLady’sMagazine。Itcommenced`CanIviewtheepanting，lyingOnthystomach，withoutsighing。CanIunmovedseetheedyingOnalog，Expiringfrog！’
Beautiful！saidMr。Pickwick。
Fine，saidMr。LeoHunter，sosimple。
Very，saidMr。Pickwick。
Thenextverseisstillmoretouching。ShallIrepeatit？
Ifyouplease，saidMr。Pickwick。
Itrunsthus，saidthegraveman，stillmoregravely。`Say，havefiendsinshapeofboys，Withwildhalloo，andbrutalnoise，Huntedtheefrommarshyjoys，Withadog，Expiringfrog！’
Finelyexpressed，saidMr。Pickwick。
Allpoint，sir，saidMr。LeoHunter，butyoushallhearMrs。LeoHunterrepeatit。Shecandojusticetoit，sir。Shewillrepeatit，incharacter，sir，to-morrowmorning。
Incharacter！
AsMinerva。ButIforgot——it’safancy-dressbreakfast。
Dearme，saidMr。Pickwick，glancingathisownfigure——Ican’tpossibly——
Can’t，sir。can’t！exclaimedMr。LeoHunter。SolomonLucas，theJewintheHighStreet，hasthousandsoffancydresses。Consider，sir，howmanyappropriatecharactersareopenforyourselection。Plato，Zeno，Epicurus，Pythagoras——allfoundersofclubs。
Iknowthat，saidMr。Pickwick，butasIcannotputmyselfincompetitionwiththosegreatmen，Icannotpresumetoweartheirdresses。
Thegravemanconsidereddeeply，forafewseconds，andthensaid，Onreflection，sir，Idon’tknowwhetheritwouldnotaffordMrs。LeoHuntergreaterpleasure，ifherguestssawagentlemanofyourcelebrityinhisowncostume，ratherthaninanassumedone。Imayventuretopromiseanexceptioninyourcase，sir——yes，IamquitecertainthatonbehalfofMrs。LeoHunter，Imayventuretodoso。
Inthatcase，saidMr。Pickwick，Ishallhavegreatpleasureincoming。
ButIwasteyourtime，sir，saidthegraveman，asifsuddenlyrecollectinghimself。Iknowitsvalue，sir。Iwillnotdetainyou。ImaytellMrs。
LeoHunter，then，thatshemayconfidentlyexpectyouandyourdistinguishedfriends？Goodmorning，sir，Iamproudtohavebeheldsoeminentapersonage——notastep，sir。notaword。AndwithoutgivingMr。Pickwicktimetoofferremonstranceordenial，Mr。LeoHunterstalkedgravelyaway。
Mr。Pickwicktookuphishat，andrepairedtothePeacock，butMr。Winklehadconveyedtheintelligenceofthefancyballthere，beforehim。
Mrs。Pott’sgoing，werethefirstwordswithwhichhesalutedhisleader。
Isshe？saidMr。Pickwick。
AsApollo，repliedMr。Winkle。OnlyPottobjectstothetunic。
Heisright。Heisquiteright，saidMr。Pickwickemphatically。
Yes——soshe’sgoingtowearawhitesatingownwithgoldspangles。
They’llhardlyknowwhatshe’smeantfor。willthey？inquiredMr。
Snodgrass。
Ofcoursetheywill，repliedMr。Winkleindignantly。They’llseeherlyre，won’tthey？
True。Iforgotthat，saidMr。Snodgrass。
IshallgoasaBandit，interruptedMr。Tupman。
What！saidMr。Pickwick，withasuddenstart。
Asabandit，repeatedMr。Tupman，mildly。
Youdon’tmeantosay，saidMr。Pickwick，gazingwithsolemnsternnessathisfriend，Youdon’tmeantosay，Mr。Tupman，thatitisyourintentiontoputyourselfintoagreenvelvetjacket，withatwo-inchtail？
Suchismyintention，sir，repliedMr。Tupmanwarmly。Andwhynot，sir？
Because，sir，saidMr。Pickwick，considerablyexcited。Becauseyouaretooold，sir。
Tooold！exclaimedMr。Tupman。
Andifanyfurthergroundofobjectionbewanting，continuedMr。Pickwick，youaretoofat，sir。
Sir，saidMr。Tupman，hisfacesuffusedwithacrimsonglow。Thisisaninsult。
Sir，repliedMr。Pickwickinthesametone，Itisnothalftheinsulttoyou，thatyourappearanceinmypresenceinagreenvelvetjacket，withatwo-inchtail，wouldbetome。
Sir，saidMr。Tupman，you’reafellow。
Sir，saidMr。Pickwick，you’reanother！
Mr。Tupmanadvancedasteportwo，andglaredatMr。Pickwick。Mr。Pickwickreturnedtheglare，concentratedintoafocusbymeansofhisspectacles，andbreathedabolddefiance。Mr。SnodgrassandMr。Winklelookedon，petrifiedatbeholdingsuchascenebetweentwosuchmen。
Sir，saidMr。Tupman，afterashortpause，speakinginalow，deepvoice，youhavecalledmeold。
Ihave，saidMr。Pickwick。
Andfat。
Ireiteratethecharge。
Andafellow。
Soyouare！
Therewasafearfulpause。
Myattachmenttoyourperson，sir，saidMr。Tupman，speakinginavoicetremulouswithemotion，andtuckinguphiswristbandsmeanwhile，isgreat——verygreat——butuponthatperson，Imusttakesummaryvengeance。
Comeon，sir！repliedMr。Pickwick。Stimulatedbytheexcitingnatureofthedialogue，theheroicmanactuallythrewhimselfintoaparalyticattitude，confidentlysupposedbythetwoby-standerstohavebeenintendedasapostureofdefence。
What！exclaimedMr。Snodgrass，suddenlyrecoveringthepowerofspeech，ofwhichintenseastonishmenthadpreviouslyberefthim，andrushingbetweenthetwo，attheimminenthazardofreceivinganapplicationonthetemplefromeach。What！Mr。Pickwick，withtheeyesoftheworlduponyou！Mr。
Tupman！Who，incommonwithusall，derivesalustrefromhisundyingname！
Forshame，gentlemen。forshame。
TheunwontedlineswhichmomentarypassionhadruledinMr。Pickwick’sclearandopenbrow，graduallymeltedaway，ashisyoungfriendspoke，likethemarksofablack-leadpencilbeneaththesofteninginfluenceofIndiarubber。Hiscountenancehadresumeditsusualbenignexpression，ereheconcluded。
Ihavebeenhasty，saidMr。Pickwick，veryhasty。Tupman。yourhand。
ThedarkshadowpassedfromMr。Tupman’sface，ashewarmlygraspedthehandofhisfriend。
Ihavebeenhasty，too，saidhe。
No，no，interruptedMr。Pickwick，thefaultwasmine。Youwillwearthegreenvelvetjacket？
No，no，repliedMr。Tupman。
Toobligeme，youwill，resumedMr。Pickwick。
Well，well，Iwill，saidMr。Tupman。
ItwasaccordinglysettledthatMr。Tupman，Mr。Winkle，andMr。Snodgrass，shouldallwearfancydresses。ThusMr。Pickwickwasledbytheverywarmthofhisowngoodfeelingstogivehisconsenttoaproceedingfromwhichhisbetterjudgmentwouldhaverecoiled——amorestrikingillustrationofhisamiablecharactercouldhardlyhavebeenconceived，eveniftheeventsrecordedinthesepageshadbeenwhollyimaginary。
Mr。LeoHunterhadnotexaggeratedtheresourcesofMr。SolomonLucas。
Hiswardrobewasextensive——veryextensive——notstrictlyclassicalperhaps，norquitenew，nordiditcontainanyonegarmentmadepreciselyafterthefashionofanyageortime，buteverythingwasmoreorlessspangled。
andwhatcanbeprettierthanspangles！Itmaybeobjectedthattheyarenotadaptedtothedaylight，buteverybodyknowsthattheywouldglitteriftherewerelamps。andnothingcanbeclearerthanthatifpeoplegivefancyballsintheday-time，andthedressesdonotshowquiteaswellastheywouldbynight，thefaultliessolelywiththepeoplewhogivethefancyballs，andisinnowisechargeableonthespangles。SuchwastheconvincingreasoningofMr。SolomonLucas。andinfluencedbysuchargumentsdidMr。Tupman，Mr。Winkle，andMr。Snodgrass，engagetoarraythemselvesincostumeswhichhistasteandexperienceinducedhimtorecommendasadmirablysuitedtotheoccasion。
AcarriagewashiredfromtheTownArms，fortheaccommodationofthePickwickians，andachariotwasorderedfromthesamerepository，forthepurposeofconveyingMr。andMrs。PotttoMrs。LeoHunter’sgrounds，whichMr。Pott，asadelicateacknowledgmentofhavingreceivedaninvitation，hadalreadyconfidentlypredictedintheEatanswillGazettewouldpresentasceneofvariedanddeliciousenchantment——abewilderingcoruscationofbeautyandtalent——alavishandprodigaldisplayofhospitality——aboveall，adegreeofsplendoursoftenedbythemostexquisitetaste。andadornmentrefinedwithperfectharmonyandthechastestgoodkeeping——comparedwithwhich，thefabledgorgeousnessofEasternFairy-landitself，wouldappeartobeclothedinasmanydarkandmurkycolours，asmustbethemindofthespleneticandunmanlybeingwhocouldpresumetotaintwiththevenomofhisenvy，thepreparationsmadebythevirtuousandhighlydistinguishedlady，atwhoseshrinethishumbletributeofadmirationwasoffered。ThislastwasapieceofbitingsarcasmagainsttheIndependent，whoinconsequenceofnothavingbeeninvitedatall，hadbeenthroughfournumbersaffectingtosneeratthewholeaffair，inhisverylargesttype，withalltheadjectivesincapitalletters。
Themorningcame：itwasapleasantsighttobeholdMr。TupmaninfullBrigand’scostume，withaverytightjacket，sittinglikeapincushionoverhisbackandshoulders：theupperportionofhislegsencasedinthevelvetshorts，andthelowerpartthereofswathedinthecomplicatedbandagestowhichallBrigandsarepeculiarlyattached。Itwaspleasingtoseehisopenandingenuouscountenance，wellmustachioedandcorked，lookingoutfromanopenshirtcollar。andtocontemplatethesugar-loafhat，decoratedwithribbonsofallcolours，whichhewascompelledtocarryonhisknee，inasmuchasnoknownconveyancewithatoptoitwouldadmitofanyman’scarryingitbetweenhisheadandtheroof。EquallyhumorousandagreeablewastheappearanceofMr。Snodgrassinbluesatintrunksandcloak，whitesilktightsandshoes，andGreeianhelmet：whicheverybodyknowsandiftheydonot，Mr。SolomonLucasdidtohavebeentheregular，authentic，every-daycostumeofaTroubadour，fromtheearliestagesdowntothetimeoftheirfinaldisappearancefromthefaceoftheearth。Allthiswaspleasant，butthiswasnothingcomparedwiththeshoutingofthepopulacewhenthecarriagedrewup，behindMr。Pott’schariot，whichchariotitselfdrewupatMr。Pott’sdoor，whichdooritselfopened，anddisplayedthegreatPottaccoutredasaRussianofficerofjustice，withatremendousknoutinhishand——tastefullytypicalofthesternandmightypoweroftheEatanswillGazette，andthefearfullashingsitbestowedonpublicoffenders。
Bravo！shoutedMr。TupmanandMr。Snodgrassfromthepassage，whentheybeheldthewalkingallegory。
Bravo！Mr。Pickwickwasheardtoexclaim，fromthepassage。
Hoo——roarPott！shoutedthepopulace。Amidthesesalutations，Mr。
Pott，smilingwiththatkindofblanddignitywhichsufficientlytestifiedthathefelthispower，andknewhowtoexertit，gotintothechariot。
Thenthereemergedfromthehouse，Mrs。Pott，whowouldhavelookedverylikeApolloifshehadn’thadagownon：conductedbyMr。Winkle，whoinhislight-redcoat，couldnotpossiblyhavebeenmistakenforanythingbutasportsman，ifhehadnotborneanequalresemblancetoageneralpostman。LastofallcameMr。Pickwick，whomtheboysapplaudedasloudasanybody，probablyundertheimpressionthathistightsandgaitersweresomeremnantsofthedarkages。andthenthetwovehiclesproceededtowardsMrs。LeoHunter’s：Mr。Wellerwhowastoassistinwaitingbeingstationedontheboxofthatinwhichhismasterwasseated。
Everyoneofthemen，women，boys，girls，andbabies，whowereassembledtoseethevisitorsintheirfancydresses，screamedwithdelightandecstasy，whenMr。Pickwick，withtheBrigandononearm，andtheTroubadourontheother，walkedsolemnlyuptheentrance。Neverweresuchshoutsheard，asthosewhichgreetedMr。Tupman’seffortstofixthesugar-loafhatonhishead，bywayofenteringthegardeninstyle。
Thepreparationswereonthemostdelightfulscale。fullyrealisingthepropheticPott’santicipationsaboutthegorgeousnessofEasternFairy-land，andatonceaffordingasufficientcontradictiontothemalignantstatementsofthereptileIndependent。Thegroundsweremorethananacreandaquarterinextent，andtheywerefilledwithpeople！Neverwassuchablazeofbeauty，andfashion，andliterature。Therewastheyoungladywhodid
thepoetryintheEatanswillGazette，inthegarbofasultana，leaninguponthearmoftheyounggentlemanwhodidthereviewdepartment，andwhowasappropriatelyhabitedinafieldmarshal’suniform——thebootsexcepted。
Therewerehostsofthesegeniuses，andanyreasonablepersonwouldhavethoughtithonourenoughtomeetthem。Butmorethanthese，therewerehalfadozenlionsfromLondon——authors，realauthors，whohadwrittenwholebooks，andprintedthemafterwards——andhereyoumightsee’em，walkingabout，likeordinarymen，smiling，andtalking——aye，andtalkingprettyconsiderablenonsensetoo，nodoubtwiththebenignintentionofrenderingthemselvesintelligibletothecommonpeopleaboutthem。Moreover，therewasabandofmusicinpasteboardcaps。foursomething-eansingersinthecostumeoftheircountry，andadozenhiredwaitersinthecostumeoftheircountry——andverydirtycostumetoo。Andaboveall，therewasMrs。LeoHunterinthecharacterofMinerva，receivingthecompany，andoverflowingwithprideandgratificationatthenotionofhavingcalledsuchdistinguishedindividualstogether。
Mr。Pickwick，ma’am，saidaservant，asthatgentlemanapproachedthepresidinggoddess，withhishatinhishand，andtheBrigandandTroubadouroneitherarm。
What！Where！exclaimedMrs。LeoHunter，startingup，inanaffectedraptureofsurprise。
Here，saidMr。Pickwick。
IsitpossiblethatIhavereallythegratificationofbeholdingMr。
Pickwickhimself！ejaculatedMrs。LeoHunter。
Noother，ma’am，repliedMr。Pickwick，bowingverylow。Permitmetointroducemyfriends——Mr。Tupman——Mr。Winkle——Mr。Snodgrass——totheauthoressof`TheExpiringFrog。’
Veryfewpeoplebutthosewhohavetriedit，knowwhatadifficultprocessitis，tobowingreenvelvetsmalls，andatightjacket，andhigh-crownedhat：orinbluesatintrunksandwhitesilks：orknee-cordsandtop-bootsthatwerenevermadeforthewearer，andhavebeenfixeduponhimwithouttheremotestreferencetothecomparativedimensionsofhimselfandthesuit。NeverweresuchdistortionsasMr。Tupman’sframeunderwentinhiseffortstoappeareasyandgraceful——neverwassuchingeniousposturing，ashisfancy-dressedfriendsexhibited。
Mr。Pickwick，saidMrs。LeoHunter，Imustmakeyoupromisenottostirfrommysidethewholeday。Therearehundredsofpeoplehere，thatImustpositivelyintroduceyouto。
Youareverykind，ma’am，saidMr。Pickwick。
Inthefirstplace，herearemylittlegirls。Ihadalmostforgottenthem，saidMinerva，carelesslypointingtowardsacoupleoffull-grownyoungladies，ofwhomonemightbeabouttwenty，andtheotherayearortwoolder，andwhoweredressedinveryjuvenilecostumes——whethertomakethemlookyoung，ortheirmammayounger，Mr。Pickwickdoesnotdistinctlyinformus。
Theyareverybeautiful，saidMr。Pickwick，asthejuvenilesturnedaway，afterbeingpresented。
Theyareveryliketheirmamma，sir，saidMr。Pott，majestically。
Ohyounaughtyman，exclaimedMrs。LeoHunter，playfullytappingtheEditor’sarmwithherfan。Minervawithafan！
Whynow，mydearMrs。Hunter，saidMr。Pott，whowastrumpeterinordinaryattheDen，youknowthatwhenyourpicturewasintheExhibitionoftheRoyalAcademy，lastyear，everybodyinquiredwhetheritwasintendedforyou，oryouryoungestdaughter。foryouweresomuchalikethattherewasnotellingthedifferencebetweenyou。
Well，andiftheydid，whyneedyourepeatit，beforestrangers？saidMrs。LeoHunter，bestowinganothertapontheslumberinglionoftheEatanswillGazette。
Count，Count，screamedMrs。LeoHuntertoawell-whiskeredindividualinaforeignuniform，whowaspassingby。
Ah！youwantme？saidtheCount，turningback。
Iwanttointroducetwoverycleverpeopletoeachother，saidMrs。
LeoHunter。Mr。Pickwick，IhavegreatpleasureinintroducingyoutoCountSmorltork。SheaddedinahurriedwhispertoMr。Pickwick——thefamousforeigner——gatheringmaterialsforhisgreatworkonEngland——hem！——CountSmorltork，Mr。Pickwick。
Mr。PickwicksalutedtheCountwithallthereverenceduetosogreataman，andtheCountdrewforthasetoftablets。
Whatyousay，Mrs。Hunt？inquiredtheCount，smilinggraciouslyonthegratifiedMrs。LeoHunter，PigVigorBigVig——whatyoucall——Lawyer——eh？
Isee——thatisit。BigVig——andtheCountwasproceedingtoenterMr。
Pickwickinhistablets，asagentlemanofthelongrobe，whoderivedhisnamefromtheprofessiontowhichhebelonged，whenMrs。LeoHunterinterposed。
No，no，Count，saidthelady，Pick-wick。
Ah，ah，Isee，repliedtheCount。Peek——Christianname。Weeks——surname。
good，vergood。PeekWeeks。Howyoudo，Weeks？
Quitewell，Ithankyou，repliedMr。Pickwick，withallhisusualaffability。HaveyoubeenlonginEngland？
Long——verlongtime——fortnight——more。
Doyoustayherelong？
Oneweek。
Youwillhaveenoughtodo，saidMr。Pickwick，smiling，togatherallthematerialsyouwant，inthattime。
Eh，theyaregathered，saidtheCount。
Indeed！saidMr。Pickwick。
Theyarehere，addedtheCount，tappinghisforeheadsignificantly。
Largebookathome——fullofnotes——music，picture，science，poetry，poltic。
allthings。
Thewordpolitics，sir，saidMr。Pickwick，comprises，initself，adifficultstudyofnoinconsiderablemagnitude。
Ah！saidtheCount，drawingoutthetabletsagain，vergood——finewordstobeginachapter。Chapterforty-seven。Poltics。Thewordpolticsurprisesbyhimself——AnddownwentMr。Pickwick’sremark，inCountSmorltork’stablets，withsuchvariationsandadditionsastheCount’sexuberantfancysuggested，orhisimperfectknowledgeofthelanguage，occasioned。
Count，saidMrs。LeoHunter。
Mrs。Hunt，repliedtheCount。
ThisisMr。Snodgrass，afriendofMr。Pickwick’s，andapoet。
Stop，exclaimedtheCount，bringingoutthetabletsoncemore。Head，potry——chapter，literaryfriends——nameSnowgrass。vergood。IntroducedtoSnowgrass——greatpoet，friendofPeekWeeks——byMrs。Hunt，whichwroteothersweetpoem——whatisthatname？——Fog——PerspiringFog——vergood——vergoodindeed。AndtheCountputuphistablets，andwithsundrybowsandacknowledgmentswalkedaway，thoroughlysatisfiedthathehadmadethemostimportantandvaluableadditionstohisstockofinformation。
Wonderfulman，CountSmorltork，saidMrs。LeoHunter。
Soundphilosopher，saidMr。Pott。
Clear-headed，strong-mindedperson，addedMr。Snodgrass。
Achorusofby-standerstookuptheshoutofCountSmorltork’spraise，shooktheirheadssagely，andunanimouslycriedVery！
AstheenthusiasminCountSmorltork’sfavourranveryhigh，hispraisesmighthavebeensunguntiltheendofthefestivities，ifthefoursomething-eansingershadnotrangedthemselvesinfrontofasmallapple-tree，tolookpicturesque，andcommencedsingingtheirnationalsongs，whichappearedbynomeansdifficultofexecution，inasmuchasthegrandsecretseemedtobe，thatthreeofthesomething-eansingersshouldgrunt，whilethefourthhowled。Thisinterestingperformancehavingconcludedamidsttheloudplauditsofthewholecompany，aboyforthwithproceededtoentanglehimselfwiththerailsofachair，andtojumpoverit，andcrawlunderit，andfalldownwithit，anddoeverythingbutsituponit，andthentomakeacravatofhislegs，andtiethemroundhisneck，andthentoillustratetheeasewithwhichahumanbeingcanbemadetolooklikeamagnifiedtoad——allwhichfeatsyieldeddelightandsatisfactiontotheassembledspectators。Afterwhich，thevoiceofmrs。Pottwasheardtochirpfaintlyforth，somethingwhichcourtesyinterpretedintoasong，whichwasallveryclassical，andstrictlyincharacter，becauseApollowashimselfacomposer，andcomposerscanveryseldomsingtheirownmusicoranybodyelse’s，either。ThiswassucceededbyMrs。LeoHunter’srecitationofherfar-famedOdetoanExpiringFrog，whichwasencoredonce，andwouldhavebeenencoredtwice，ifthemajorpartoftheguests，whothoughtitwashightimetogetsomethingtoeat，hadnotsaidthatitwasperfectlyshamefultotakeadvantageofMrs。Hunter’sgoodnature。SoalthoughMrs。
LeoHunterprofessedherperfectwillingnesstorecitetheodeagain，herkindandconsideratefriendswouldn’thearofitonanyaccount。andtherefreshmentroombeingthrownopen，allthepeoplewhohadeverbeentherebefore，scrambledinwithallpossibledespatch：Mrs。LeoHunter’susualcourseofproceeding，being，toissuecardsforahundred，andbreakfastforfifty，orinotherwordstofeedonlytheveryparticularlions，andletthesmalleranimalstakecareofthemselves。
WhereisMr。Pott？saidMrs。LeoHunter，assheplacedtheaforesaidlionsaroundher。
HereIam，saidtheeditor，fromtheremotestendoftheroom。farbeyondallhopeoffood，unlesssomethingwasdoneforhimbythehostess。
Won’tyoucomeuphere？
Ohpraydon’tmindhim，saidMrs。Pott，inthemostobligingvoice——yougiveyourselfagreatdealofunnecessarytrouble，Mrs。Hunter。You’lldoverywellthere，won’tyou——dear。
Certainly——love，repliedtheunhappyPott，withagrimsmile。Alasfortheknout！Thenervousarmthatwieldedit，withsuchgiganticforce，onpubliccharacters，wasparalysedbeneaththeglanceoftheimperiousMrs。Pott。
Mrs。LeoHunterlookedroundherintriumph。CountSmorltorkwasbusilyengagedintakingnotesofthecontentsofthedishes。Mr。Tupmanwasdoingthehonoursofthelobstersaladtoseverallionesses，withadegreeofgracewhichnoBrigandeverexhibitedbefore。Mr。SnodgrasshavingcutouttheyounggentlemanwhocutupthebooksfortheEatanswillGazette，wasengagedinanimpassionedargumentwiththeyoungladywhodidthepoetry：andMr。Pickwickwasmakinghimselfuniversallyagreeable。Nothingseemedwantingtorendertheselectcirclecomplete，whenMr。LeoHunter——whosedepartmentontheseoccasions，wastostandaboutindoorways，andtalktothelessimportantpeople——suddenlycalledout——
Mydear。here’sMr。CharlesFitz-Marshall。
Ohdear，saidMrs。LeoHunter，howanxiouslyIhavebeenexpectinghim。Praymakeroom，toletMr。Fitz-Marshallpass。TellMr。Fitz-Marshall，mydear，tocomeuptomedirectly，tobescoldedforcomingsolate。
Coming，mydearma’am，criedavoice，asquickasIcan——crowdsofpeople——fullroom——hardwork——very。
Mr。Pickwick’sknifeandforkfellfromhishand。HestaredacrossthetableatMr。Tupman，whohaddroppedhisknifeandfork，andwaslookingasifhewereabouttosinkintothegroundwithoutfurthernotice。
Ah！criedthevoice，asitsownerpushedhiswayamongthelastfive-and-twentyTurks，officers，cavaliers，andCharlestheSeconds，thatremainedbetweenhimandthetable，regularmangle——Baker’spatent——notacreaseinmycoat，afterallthissqueezing——mighthave`gotupmylinen’asIcamealong——ha！ha！notabadidea，that——queerthingtohaveitmangledwhenit’suponone，though——tryingprocess——very。
Withthesebrokenwords，ayoungmandressedasanavalofficermadehiswayuptothetable，andpresentedtotheastonishedPickwickians，theidenticalformandfeaturesofMr。AlfredJingle。
TheoffenderhadbarelytimetotakeMrs。LeoHunter’sprofferedhand，whenhiseyesencounteredtheindignantorbsofMr。Pickwick。
Hallo！saidJingle。Quiteforgot——nodirectionstopostillion——give’ematonce——backinaminute。
Theservant，orMr。Hunterwilldoitinamoment，Mr。Fitz-Marshall，
saidMrs。LeoHunter。
No，no——I’lldoit——shan’tbelong——backinnotime，repliedJingle。
Withthesewordshedisappearedamongthecrowd。
Willyouallowmetoaskyou，ma’am，saidtheexcitedMr。Pickwick，risingfromhisseat，whothatyoungmanis，andwhereheresides！
Heisagentlemanoffortune，Mr。Pickwick，saidMrs。LeoHunter，towhomIverymuchwanttointroduceyou。TheCountwillbedelightedwithhim。
Yes，yes，saidMr。Pickwick，hastily。Hisresidence——
IsatpresentattheAngelatBury。
AtBury？
AtBurySt。Edmunds，notmanymilesfromhere。Butdearme，Mr。Pickwick，youarenotgoingtoleaveus：surely，Mr。Pickwick，youcannotthinkofgoingsosoon。
ButlongbeforeMrs。LeoHunterhadfinishedspeaking，Mr。Pickwickhadplungedthroughthethrong，andreachedthegarden，whitherhewasshortlyafterwardsjoinedbyMr。Tupman，whohadfollowedhisfriendclosely。
It’sofnouse，saidMr。Tupman。Hehasgone。
Iknowit，saidMr。Pickwick，andIwillfollowhim。
Followhim！Where？inquiredMr。Tupman。
TotheAngelatBury，repliedMr。Pickwick，speakingveryquickly。
Howdoweknowwhomheisdeceivingthere？Hedeceivedaworthymanonce，andweweretheinnocentcause。Heshallnotdoitagain，ifIcanhelpit。I’llexposehim！Where’smyservant？
Hereyouare，sir，saidMr。Weller，emergingfromasequesteredspot，wherehehadbeenengagedindiscussingabottleofMadeira，whichhehadabstractedfromthebreakfast-tableanhourortwobefore。Here’syourservant，sir。Proudo’thetitle，astheLivingSkellingtonsaid，ventheyshow’dhim。
Followmeinstantly，saidMr。Pickwick。Tupman，ifIstayatBury，youcanjoinmethere，whenIwrite。Tillthen，good-bye！
Remonstranceswereuseless。Mr。Pickwickwasroused，andhismindwasmadeup。Mr。Tupmanreturnedtohiscompanions。andinanotherhourhaddrownedallpresentrecollectionofMr。AlfredJingle，orMr。CharlesFitz-Marshall，inanexhilaratingquadrilleandabottleofchampagne。Bythattime，Mr。
PickwickandSamWeller，perchedontheoutsideofastagecoach，wereeverysucceedingminuteplacingalessandlessdistancebetweenthemselvesandthegoodoldtownofBurySt。Edmunds。
[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter16[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXVITOOFULLOFADVENTURETOBEBRIEFLYDESCRIBED
THEREisnomonthinthewholeyear，inwhichnaturewearsamorebeautifulappearancethaninthemonthofAugust。Springhasmanybeauties，andMayisafreshandbloomingmonth，butthecharmsofthistimeofyearareenhancedbytheircontrastwiththewinterseason。
Augusthasnosuchadvantage。Itcomeswhenweremembernothingbutclearskies，greenfieldsandsweet-smellingflowers——whentherecollectionofsnow，andice，andbleakwinds，hasfadedfromourmindsascompletelyastheyhavedisappearedfromtheearth，——andyetwhatapleasanttimeitis！Orchardsandcorn-fieldsringwiththehumoflabour。treesbendbeneaththethickclustersofrichfruitwhichbowtheirbranchestotheground。andthecorn，piledingracefulsheaves，orwavingineverylightbreaththatsweepsaboveit，asifitwooedthesickle，tingesthelandscapewithagoldenhue。Amellowsoftnessappearstohangoverthewholeearth。
theinfluenceoftheseasonseemstoextenditselftotheverywaggon，whoseslowmotionacrossthewell-reapedfield，isperceptibleonlytotheeye，butstrikeswithnoharshsoundupontheear。Asthecoachrollsswiftlypastthefieldsandorchardswhichskirttheroad，groupsofwomenandchildren，pilingthefruitinsieves，orgatheringthescatteredearsofcorn，pauseforaninstantfromtheirlabour，andshadingthesun-burntfacewithastillbrownerhand，gazeuponthepassengerswithcuriouseyes，whilesomestouturchin，toosmalltowork，buttoomischievoustobeleftathome，scramblesoverthesideofthebasketinwhichhehasbeendepositedforsecurity，andkicksandscreamswithdelight。Thereaperstopsinhiswork，andstandswithfoldedarms，lookingatthevehicleasitwhirlspast。andtheroughcart-horsesbestowasleepyglanceuponthesmartcoachteam，whichsays，asplainlyasahorse’sglancecan，It’sallveryfinetolookat，butslowgoing，overaheavyfield，isbetterthanwarmworklikethat，uponadustyroad，afterall。Youcastalookbehindyou，asyouturnacorneroftheroad。Thewomenandchildrenhaveresumedtheirlabour：thereaperoncemorestoopstohiswork：thecart-horseshavemovedon：andallareagaininmotion。
Theinfluenceofascenelikethis，wasnotlostuponthewell-regulatedmindofMr。Pickwick。Intentupontheresolutionhehadformed，ofexposingtherealcharacterofthenefariousJingle，inanyquarterinwhichhemightbepursuinghisfraudulentdesigns，hesatatfirsttaciturnandcontemplative，broodingoverthemeansbywhichhispurposecouldbebestattained。Bydegreeshisattentiongrewmoreandmoreattractedbytheobjectsaroundhim。andatlasthederivedasmuchenjoymentfromtheride，asifithadbeenundertakenforthepleasantestreasonintheworld。
Delightfulprospect，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。
Beatsthechimleypots，sir，repliedMr。Weller，touchinghishat。
Isupposeyouhavehardlyseenanythingbutchimney-potsandbricksandmortarallyourlife，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，smiling。
Iworn’talwaysaboots，sir，saidMr。Weller，withashakeofthehead。Iwosavagginer’sboy，once。
Whenwasthat？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
WhenIwosfirstpitchedneckandcropintotheworld，toplayatleap-frogwithitstroubles，repliedSam。Iwosacarrier’sboyatstartin’：thenavagginer’s，thenahelper，thenaboots。NowI’magen’l’m’n’sservant。
Ishallbeagen’l’m’nmyselfoneofthesedays，perhaps，withapipeinmymouth，andasummer-houseinthebackgarden。Whoknows？Ishouldn’tbesurprised，forone。
Youarequiteaphilosopher，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。
Itrunsinthefamily，Ib’lieve，sir，repliedMr。Weller。
Myfather’swerymuchinthatline，now。Ifmymother-in-lawblowshimup，hewhistles。Shefliesinapassion，andbreakshispipe。hestepsout，andgetsanother。Thenshescreamsveryloud，andfallsinto’sterics：
andhesmokeswerycomfortably’tillshecomestoagin。That’sphilosophy，sir，an’tit？
Averygoodsubstituteforit，atallevents，repliedMr。Pickwick，laughing。Itmusthavebeenofgreatservicetoyou，inthecourseofyourramblinglife，Sam。
Service，sir，exclaimedSam。Youmaysaythat。ArterIrunawayfromthecarrier，andaforeItookupwiththevagginer，Ihadunfurnishedlodgin’sforafortnight。
Unfurnishedlodgings？saidMr。Pickwick。
Yes——thedryarchesofWaterlooBridge。Finesleeping-place——withintenminutes’walkofallthepublicoffices——onlyifthereisanyobjectiontoit，itisthatthesitivation’sraythertooairy。Iseesomequeersightsthere。
Ah，Isupposeyoudid，saidMr。Pickwick，withanairofconsiderableinterest。
Sights，sir，resumedMr。Weller，as’udpenetrateyourbenevolentheart，andcomeoutontheotherside。Youdon’tseethereg’larwagrantsthere。trust’em，theyknowsbetterthanthat。Youngbeggars，maleandfemale，ashasn’tmadeariseintheirprofession，takesuptheirquarterstheresometimes。butit’sgenerallytheworn-out，starving，houselesscreetursasrollsthemselvesinthedarkcornerso’themlonesomeplaces——poorcreetursasan’tuptothetwopennyrope。
And，pray，Sam，whatisthetwopennyrope？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Thetwopennyrope，sir，repliedMr。Weller，isjustacheaplodgin’
house，wherethebedsistwopenceanight。
Whatdotheycallabedaropefor？saidMr。Pickwick。
Blessyourinnocence，sir，thata’ntit，repliedSam。Wentheladyandgen’l’m’naskeepstheHot-elfirstbegunbusinesstheyusedtomakethebedsonthefloor。butthiswouldn’tdoatnoprice，’cosinsteado’
takingamoderatetwo-penn’ortho’sleep，thelodgersusedtolietherehalftheday。Sonowtheyhastworopes，’boutsixfootapart，andthreefromthefloor，whichgoesrightdowntheroom。andthebedsaremadeofslipsofcoarsesacking，stretchedacross’em。
Well，saidMr。Pickwick。
Well，saidMr。Weller，theadwantageo’theplan’shobvious。Atsixo’clockeverymornin’theyletsgotheropesatoneend，anddownfallsallthelodgers。’Consequenceis，thatbeingthoroughlywaked，theygetupweryquietly，andwalkaway！Begyourpardon，sir，saidSam，suddenlybreakingoffinhisloquaciousdiscourse。IsthisBurySt。Edmunds？
Itis，repliedMr。Pickwick。
Thecoachrattledthroughthewell-pavedstreetsofahandsomelittletown，ofthrivingandcleanlyappearance，andstoppedbeforealargeinnsituatedinawideopenstreet，nearlyfacingtheoldabbey。
Andthis，saidMr。Pickwick，lookingup，istheAngel！Wealighthere，Sam。Butsomecautionisnecessary。Orderaprivateroom，anddonotmentionmyname。Youunderstand。
Rightasatrivet，sir，repliedMr。Weller，withawinkofintelligence。
andhavingdraggedMr。Pickwick’sportmanteaufromthehindboot，intowhichithadbeenhastilythrownwhentheyjoinedthecoachatEatanswill，Mr。Wellerdisappearedonhiserrand。Aprivateroomwasspeedilyengaged。
andintoitMr。Pickwickwasusheredwithoutdelay。
Now，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，thefirstthingtobedoneisto——
Orderdinner，sir，interposedMr。Weller。It’swerylate，sir。
Ah，soitis，saidMr。Pickwick，lookingathiswatch。Youareright，Sam。
AndifImightadwise，sir，addedMr。Weller，I’djusthaveagoodnight’srestarterwards，andnotbegininquiringarterthisheredeep’un’tillthemornin’。There’snothin’sorefreshin’assleep，sir，astheservant-girlsaidaforeshedranktheegg-cupfulo’laudanum。
Ithinkyouareright，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。ButImustfirstascertainthatheisinthehouse，andnotlikelytogoaway。
Leavethattome，sir，saidSam。Letmeorderyouasnuglittledinner，andmakeanyinquiriesbelowwhileit’sagettingready。Icouldwormev’rysecretouto’theboots’sheart，infiveminutes，sir。
Doso，saidMr。Pickwick：andMr。Welleratonceretired。
Inhalfanhour，Mr。Pickwickwasseatedataverysatisfactorydinner。
andinthree-quartersMr。WellerreturnedwiththeintelligencethatMr。
CharlesFitz-Marshallhadorderedhisprivateroomtoberetainedforhim，untilfurthernotice。Hewasgoingtospendtheeveningatsomeprivatehouseintheneighbourhood，hadorderedthebootstositupuntilhisreturn，andhadtakenhisservantwithhim。
Now，sir，arguedMr。Weller，whenhehadconcludedhisreport，ifIcangetatalkwiththishereservantinthemornin’，he’lltellmeallhismaster’sconcerns。
Howdoyouknowthat？interposedMr。Pickwick。
Blessyourheart，sir，servantsalwaysdo，repliedMr。Weller。
Oh，ah，Iforgotthat，saidMr。Pickwick。Well。
Thenyoucanarrangewhat’sbesttobedone，sir，andwecanactaccording。
Asitappearedthatthiswasthebestarrangementthatcouldbemade，itwasfinallyagreedupon。Mr。Weller，byhismaster’spermission，retiredtospendtheeveninginhisownway。andwasshortlyafterwardselected，bytheunanimousvoiceoftheassembledcompany，intothetap-roomchair，inwhichhonourablepostheacquittedhimselfsomuchtothesatisfactionofthegentlemen-frequenters，thattheirroarsoflaughterandapprobationpenetratedtoMr。Pickwick’sbed-room，andshortenedthetermofhisnaturalrestbyatleastthreehours。
Earlyontheensuingmorning，Mr。Wellerwasdispellingallthefeverishremainsofthepreviousevening’sconviviality，throughtheinstrumentalityofahalfpennyshower-bathhavinginducedayounggentlemanattachedtothestable-department，bytheofferofthatcoin，topumpoverhisheadandface，untilhewasperfectlyrestored，whenhewasattractedbytheappearanceofayoungfellowinmulberry-colouredlivery，whowassittingonabenchintheyard，readingwhatappearedtobeahymn-book，withanairofdeepabstraction，butwhooccasionallystoleaglanceattheindividualunderthepump，asifhetooksomeinterestinhisproceedings，nevertheless。
You’rearum’untolookat，youare！thoughtMr。Weller，thefirsttimehiseyesencounteredtheglanceofthestrangerinthemulberrysuit：
whohadalarge，sallow，uglyface，verysunkeneyes，andagigantichead，fromwhichdependedaquantityoflankblackhair。You’rearum’un！
thoughtMr。Weller。andthinkingthis，hewentonwashinghimself，andthoughtnomoreabouthim。
Stillthemankeptglancingfromhishymn-booktoSam，andfromSamtohishymn-book，asifhewantedtoopenaconversation。Soatlast，Sam，bywayofgivinghimanopportunity，saidwithafamiliarnod——
Howareyou，governor？
Iamhappytosay，Iamprettywell，sir，saidtheman，speakingwithgreatdeliberation，andclosingthebook。Ihopeyouarethesame，sir？
WhyifIfeltlesslikeawalkingbrandy-bottle，Ishouldn’tbequitesostaggerythismornin’，repliedSam。Areyoustoppin’inthishouse，old’un？
Themulberrymanrepliedintheaffirmative。
Howwasit，youworn’toneofus，lastnight？inquiredSam，scrubbinghisfacewiththetowel。Youseemoneofthejollysort——looksasconwivialasalivetroutinalinebasket，addedMr。Weller，inanundertone。
Iwasoutlastnight，withmymaster，repliedthestranger。
What’shisname？inquiredMr。Weller，colouringupveryredwithsuddenexcitement，andthefrictionofthetowelcombined。
Fitz-Marshall，saidthemulberryman。
Giveusyourhand，saidMr。Weller，advancing。Ishouldliketoknowyou。Ilikeyourappearance，oldfellow。
Well，thatisverystrange，saidthemulberryman，withgreatsimplicityofmanner。Ilikeyour’ssomuch，thatIwantedtospeaktoyou，fromtheveryfirstmomentIsawyouunderthepump。
Didyouthough？
Uponmyword。Now，isn’tthatcurious？
Werysing’ler，saidSam，inwardlycongratulatinghimselfuponthesoftnessofthestranger。What’syourname，mypatriarch？
Job。
Andawerygoodnameitis——onlyoneIknow，thatain’tgotanicknametoit。What’stheothername？
Trotter，saidthestranger。Whatisyours？
Samboreinmindhismaster’scaution，andreplied——
Myname’sWalker。mymaster’sname’sWilkins。Willyoutakeadropo’somethin’thismornin’，Mr。Trotter？
Mr。Trotteracquiescedinthisagreeableproposal：andhavingdepositedhisbookinhiscoat-pocket，accompaniedMr。Wellertothetap，wheretheyweresoonoccupiedindiscussinganexhilaratingcompound，formedbymixingtogether，inapewtervessel，certainquantitiesofBritishHollands，andthefragrantessenceoftheclove。
Andwhatsortofaplacehaveyougot？inquiredSam，ashefilledhiscompanion’sglass，forthesecondtime。
Bad，saidJob，smackinghislips，verybad。
Youdon’tmeanthat？saidSam。
Ido，indeed。Worsethanthat，mymaster’sgoingtobemarried。
No。
Yes。andworsethanthat，too，he’sgoingtorunawaywithanimmenserichheiress，fromboarding-school。
Whatadragon！saidSam，refillinghiscompanion’sglass。It’ssomeboarding-schoolinthistown，Isuppose，a’ntit？
Now，althoughthisquestionwasputinthemostcarelesstoneimaginable，Mr。JobTrotterplainlyshowedbygestures，thatheperceivedhisnewfriend’sanxietytodrawforthananswertoit。Heemptiedhisglass，lookedmysteriouslyathiscompanion，winkedbothofhissmalleyes，oneaftertheother，andfinallymadeamotionwithhisarm，asifhewereworkinganimaginarypump-handle：therebyintimatingthatheMr。Trotterconsideredhimselfasundergoingtheprocessofbeingpumped，byMr。SamuelWeller。
No，no，saidMr。Trotter，inconclusion，that’snottobetoldtoeverybody。Thatisasecret——agreatsecret，Mr。Walker。
Asthemulberrymansaidthis，heturnedhisglassupsidedown，asameansofremindinghiscompanionthathehadnothingleftwherewithtoslakehisthirst。Samobservedthehint。andfeelingthedelicatemannerinwhichitwasconveyed，orderedthepewtervesseltoberefilled，whereatthesmalleyesofthemulberrymanglistened。
Andsoit’sasecret？saidSam。
Ishouldrathersuspectitwas，saidthemulberryman，sippinghisliquor，withacomplacentface。
Isupposeyourmas’r’sweryrich？saidSam。
Mr。Trottersmiled，andholdinghisglassinhislefthand，gavefourdistinctslapsonthepocketofhismulberryindescribableswithhisright，asiftointimatethathismastermighthavedonethesamewithoutalarminganybodymuchbythechinkingofcoin。
Ah，saidSam，that’sthegame，isit？
Themulberrymannoddedsignificantly。
Well，anddon’tyouthink，oldfeller，remonstratedMr。Weller，thatifyouletyourmastertakeinthishereyounglady，you’reapreciousrascal？
Iknowthat，saidJobTrotter，turninguponhiscompanionacountenanceofdeepcontrition，andgroaningslightly。Iknowthat，andthat’swhatitisthatpreysuponmymind。ButwhatamItodo？
Do！saidSam。di-wulgetothemissis，andgiveupyourmaster。
Who’dbelieveme？repliedJobTrotter。Theyounglady’sconsideredtheverypictureofinnocenceanddiscretion。She’ddenyit，andsowouldmymaster。Who’dbelieveme？Ishouldlosemyplace，andgetindicatedforaconspiracy，orsomesuchthing。that’sallIshouldtakebymymotion。
There’ssomethin’inthat，saidSam，ruminating。there’ssomethin’
inthat。
IfIknewanyrespectablegentlemanwhowouldtakethematterup，
continuedMr。Trotter，Imighthavesomehopeofpreventingtheelopement。
butthere’sthesamedifficulty，Mr。Walker，justthesame。Iknownogentlemaninthisstrangeplace，andtentooneifIdid，whetherhewouldbelievemystory。
Comethisway，saidSam，suddenlyjumpingup，andgraspingthemulberrymanbythearm。Mymas’r’sthemanyouwant，Isee。AndafteraslightresistanceonthepartofJobTrotter，Samledhisnewly-foundfriendtotheapartmentofMr。Pickwick，towhomhepresentedhim，togetherwithabriefsummaryofthedialoguewehavejustrepeated。
Iamverysorrytobetraymymaster，sir，saidJobTrotter，applyingtohiseyesapinkcheckedpockethandkerchiefaboutsixinchessquare。
Thefeelingdoesyouagreatdealofhonour，repliedMr。Pickwick。
butitisyourduty，nevertheless。
Iknowitismyduty，sir，repliedJob，withgreatemotion。Weshouldalltrytodischargeourduty，sir，andIhumblyendeavourtodischargemine，sir。butitisahardtrialtobetrayamaster，sir，whoseclothesyouwear，andwhosebreadyoueat，eventhoughheisascoundrel，sir。
Youareaverygoodfellow，saidMr。Pickwick，muchaffected，anhonestfellow。
Come，come，interposedSam，whohadwitnessedMr。Trotter’stearswithconsiderableimpatience，blowthisherewater-cartbis’ness。Itwon’tdonogood，thiswon’t。
Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，reproachfully，Iamsorrytofindthatyouhavesolittlerespectforthisyoungman’sfeelings。
Hisfeelin’sisallwerywell，sir，repliedMr。Weller。andasthey’resoweryfine，andit’sapityheshouldlose’em，Ithinkhe’dbetterkeep’eminhisownbuzzum，thanlet’emewaporateinhotwater，’speciallyastheydonogood。Tearsneveryetwoundupaclock，orworkedasteamingen’。Thenexttimeyougoouttoasmokingparty，youngfellow，fillyourpipewiththat’erereflection。andforthepresentjustputthatbitofpinkginghamintoyourpocket。’T’an’tsohandsomethatyouneedkeepwavingitabout，asifyouwasatight-ropedancer。
Mymanisintheright，saidMr。Pickwick，accostingJob，althoughhismodeofexpressinghisopinionissomewhathomely，andoccasionallyincomprehensible。
Heis，sir，veryright，saidMr。Trotter，andIwillgivewaynolonger。
Verywell，saidMr。Pickwick。Now，whereisthisboarding-school？
Itisalarge，old，red-brickhouse，justoutsidethetown，sir，repliedJobTrotter。
Andwhen，saidMr。Pickwick，whenisthisvillainousdesigntobecarriedintoexecution——whenisthiselopementtotakeplace？
To-night，sir，repliedJob。
To-night！exclaimedMr。Pickwick。
Thisverynight，sir，repliedJobTrotter。Thatiswhatalarmsmesomuch。
Instantmeasuresmustbetaken，saidMr。Pickwick。Iwillseetheladywhokeepstheestablishmentimmediately。
Ibegyourpardon，sir，saidJob，butthatcourseofproceedingwillneverdo。
Whynot？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
Mymaster，sir，isaveryartfulman。
Iknowheis，saidMr。Pickwick。