\"Well，Iwillremainuntilthedayafterto—morrow，providedyoukeepmecompanytonight。\"
\"Doyoulovemeverymuch？\"
\"Verymuchindeed，ifyoushewyourselfverykind。\"
\"Iwillbeverykind，forIloveyoudearlylikewise。Iwillgoandtellmymother。\"
\"Ofcourseyouhavealover？\"
\"Ineverhadone。\"
Sheleftmyroom，andinashorttimecamebackfullofjoy，sayingthathermotherbelievedmeanhonestman；sheofcoursemeantagenerousone。Cecilialockedthedoor，andthrowingherselfinmyarmscoveredmewithkisses。Shewaspretty，charming，butIwasnotinlovewithher，andIwasnotabletosaytoherastoLucrezia:\"
Youhavemademesohappy！\"Butshesaiditherself，andIdidnotfeelmuchflattered，althoughIpretendedtobelieveher。WhenI
wokeupinthemorningIgaveheratendersalutation，andpresentingherwiththreedoubloons，whichmusthaveparticularlydelightedthemother，Isentherawaywithoutlosingmytimeinpromisingeverlastingconstancy——apromiseasabsurdasitistrifling，andwhichthemostvirtuousmanoughtnevertomakeeventothemostbeautifulofwomen。
AfterbreakfastIsentforminehostandorderedanexcellentsupperforfivepersons，feelingcertainthatDonSancio，whomIexpectedintheevening，wouldnotrefusetohonourmebyacceptingmyinvitation，andwiththatideaImadeupmymindtogowithoutmydinner。TheBolognesefamilydidnotrequiretoimitatemydiettoinsureagoodappetitefortheevening。
IthensummonedBellinotomyroom，andclaimedtheperformanceofhispromisebuthelaughed，remarkedthatthedaywasnotpassedyet，andsaidthathewascertainoftravelingwithme。
\"IfairlywarnyouthatyoucannotaccompanymeunlessIamfullysatisfied。\"
\"Well，Iwillsatisfyyou。\"
\"Shallwegoandtakeawalktogether？\"
\"Willingly；Iwilldressmyself。\"
WhileIwaswaitingforhim，Marinacameinwithadejectedcountenance，enquiringhowshehaddeservedmycontempt。
\"Ceciliahaspassedthenightwithyou，Bellinowillgowithyouto—
morrow，Iamthemostunfortunateofusall。\"
\"Doyouwantmoney？\"
\"No，forIloveyou。\"
\"But，Marinetta，youaretooyoung。\"
\"Iammuchstrongerthanmysister。\"
\"Perhapsyouhavealover。\"
\"Oh！no。\"
\"Verywell，wecantrythisevening。\"
\"Good！ThenIwilltellmothertopreparecleansheetsforto—morrowmorning；otherwiseeverybodyherewouldknowthatIsleptwithyou。\"
Icouldnothelpadmiringthefruitsofatheatricaleducation，andwasmuchamused。
Bellinocameback，wewentouttogether，andwetookourwalktowardstheharbour。Therewereseveralvesselsatanchor，andamongstthemaVenetianshipandaTurkishtartan。Wewentonboardthefirstwhichwevisitedwithinterest，butnotseeinganyoneofmyacquaintance，werowedtowardstheTurkishtartan，wherethemostromanticsurpriseawaitedme。ThefirstpersonImetonboardwasthebeautifulGreekwomanIhadleftinAncona，sevenmonthsbefore，whenIwentawayfromthelazzaretto。Shewasseatedneartheoldcaptain，ofwhomIenquired，withoutappearingtonoticehishandsomeslave，whetherhehadanyfinegoodstosell。Hetookustohiscabin，butasIcastaglancetowardsthecharmingGreek，sheexpressedbyherlooksallherdelightatsuchanunexpectedmeeting。
IpretendednottobepleasedwiththegoodsshewnbytheTurk，andundertheimpulseofinspirationItoldhimthatIwouldwillinglybuysomethingprettywhichwouldtakethefancyofhisbetter—half。
Hesmiled，andtheGreekslave—havingwhisperedafewwordstohim，heleftthecabin。Themomenthewasoutofsight，thisnewAspasiathrewherselfinmyarms，saying，\"Nowisyourtime！\"Iwouldnotbefoundwantingincourage，andtakingthemostconvenientpositioninsuchaplace，Ididtoherinoneinstantthatwhichheroldmasterhadnotdoneinfiveyears。Ihadnotyetreachedthegoalofmywishes，whentheunfortunategirl，hearinghermaster，toreherselffrommyarmswithadeepsigh，andplacingherselfcunninglyinfrontofme，gavemetimetorepairthedisorderofmydress，whichmighthavecostmemylife，oratleastallIpossessedtocompromisetheaffair。Inthatcurioussituation，IwashighlyamusedatthesurpriseofBellino，whostoodtheretremblinglikeanaspenleaf。
Thetrifleschosenbythehandsomeslavecostmeonlythirtysequins。
’Spolaitis’，shesaidtomeinherownlanguage，andtheTurktellingherthatsheoughttokissme，shecoveredherfacewithherhands，andranaway。Ilefttheshipmoresadthanpleased，forIregrettedthat，inspiteofhercourage，sheshouldhaveenjoyedonlyanincompletepleasure。Assoonaswewereinourrowboat，Bellino，whohadrecoveredfromhisfright，toldmethatIhadjustmadehimacquaintedwithaphenomenon，therealityofwhichhecouldnotadmit，andwhichgavehimaverystrangeideaofmynature；that，asfarastheGreekgirlwasconcerned，hecouldnotmakeherout，unlessIshouldassurehimthateverywomaninhercountrywaslikeher。\"Howunhappytheymustbe！\"headded。
\"Doyouthink，\"Iasked，\"thatcoquettesarehappier？\"
\"No，butIthinkthatwhenawomanyieldstolove，sheshouldnotbeconqueredbeforeshehasfoughtwithherowndesires；sheshouldnotgivewaytothefirstimpulseofalustfuldesireandabandonherselftothefirstmanwhotakesherfancy，likeananimal——theslaveofsense。YoumustconfessthattheGreekwomanhasgivenyouanevidentproofthatyouhadtakenherfancy，butthatshehasatthesametimegivenyouaproofnotlesscertainofherbeastlylust，andofaneffronterywhichexposedhertotheshameofbeingrepulsed，forshecouldnotpossiblyknowwhetheryouwouldfeelaswelldisposedforherasshefeltforyou。Sheisveryhandsome，anditallturnedoutwell，buttheadventurehasthrownmeintoawhirlpoolofagitationwhichIcannotyetcontrol。\"
ImighteasilyhaveputastoptoBellino’sperplexity，andrectifiedthemistakehewaslabouringunder；butsuchaconfessionwouldnothaveministeredtomyself—love，andIheldmypeace，for，ifBellinohappenedtobeagirl，asIsuspected，IwantedhertobeconvincedthatIattached，afterall，butverylittleimportancetothegreataffair，andthatitwasnotworthwhileemployingcunningexpedientstoobtainit。
Wereturnedtotheinn，and，towardsevening，hearingDonSancio’stravellingcarriagerollintotheyard，Ihastenedtomeethim，andtoldhimthatIhopedhewouldexcusemeifIhadfeltcertainthathewouldnotrefusemethehonourofhiscompanytosupperwithBellino。HethankedmepolitelyforthepleasureIwassodelicatelyofferinghim，andacceptedmyinvitation。
Themostexquisitedishes，themostdeliciouswinesofSpain，and，morethaneverythingelse，thecheerfulnessandthecharmingvoicesofBellinoandofCecilia，gavetheCastilianfivedelightfulhours。
Heleftmeatmidnight，sayingthathecouldnotdeclarehimselfthoroughlypleasedunlessIpromisedtosupwithhimthenexteveningwiththesameguests。Itwouldcompelmetopostponemydepartureforanotherday，butIaccepted。
AssoonasDonSanciohadgone，IcalleduponBellinotofulfilhispromise，butheansweredthatMarinettawaswaitingforme，andthat，asIwasnotgoingawaythenextday，hewouldfindanopportunityofsatisfyingmydoubts；andwishingmeagoodnight，helefttheroom。
Marinetta，ascheerfulasalark，rantolockthedoorandcamebacktome，hereyesbeamingwithardour。ShewasmoreformedthanCecilia，althoughoneyearyounger，andseemedanxioustoconvincemeofhersuperiority，but，thinkingthatthefatigueoftheprecedingnightmighthaveexhaustedmystrength，sheunfoldedallthearmorousideasofhermind，explainedatlengthallsheknewofthegreatmysteryshewasgoingtoenactwithme，andofallthecontrivancesshehadhadrecoursetoinordertoacquireherimperfectknowledge，thewholeinterlardedwiththefoolishtalknaturaltoherage。I
madeoutthatshewasafraidofmynotfindingheramaiden，andofmyreproachingheraboutit。Heranxietypleasedme，andIgaveheranewconfidencebytellingherthatnaturehadrefusedtomanyyounggirlswhatiscalledmaidenhood，andthatonlyafoolcouldbeangrywithagirlforsuchareason。
Mysciencegavehercourageandconfidence，andIwascompelledtoacknowledgethatshewasverysuperiortohersister。
\"Iamdelightedyoufindmeso，\"shesaid；\"wemustnotsleepatallthroughoutthenight。\"
\"Sleep，mydarling，willproveourfriend，andourstrengthrenewedbyreposewillrewardyouinthemorningforwhatyoumaysupposelosttime。\"
Andtruly，afteraquietsleep，themorningwasforherasuccessionoffreshtriumphs，andIcrownedherhappinessbysendingherawaywiththreedoubloons，whichshetooktohermother，andwhichgavethegoodwomananinsatiabledesiretocontractnewobligationstowardsProvidence。
Iwentouttogetsomemoneyfromthebanker，asIdidnotknowwhatmighthappenduringmyjourney。Ihadenjoyedmyself，butIhadspenttoomuch:yettherewasBellinowho，ifagirl，wasnottofindmelessgenerousthanIhadbeenwiththetwoyoungsisters。Itwastobedecidedduringtheday，andIfanciedthatIwassureoftheresult。
Therearesomepersonswhopretendthatlifeisonlyasuccessionofmisfortunes，whichisasmuchastosaythatlifeitselfisamisfortune；butiflifeisamisfortune，deathmustbeexactlythereverseandthereforedeathmustbehappiness，sincedeathistheveryreverseoflife。Thatdeductionmayappeartoofinelydrawn。
Butthosewhosaythatlifeisasuccessionofmisfortunesarecertainlyeitherillorpoor；for，iftheyenjoyedgoodhealth，iftheyhadcheerfulnessintheirheartandmoneyintheirpurse，iftheyhadfortheirenjoymentaCecilia，aMarinetta，andevenamorelovelybeautyinperspective，theywouldsoonentertainaverydifferentopinionoflife！Iholdthemtobearaceofpessimists，recruitedamongstbeggarlyphilosophersandknavish，atrabilioustheologians。Ifpleasuredoesexist，andiflifeisnecessarytoenjoypleasure，thenlifeishappiness。Therearemisfortunes，asI
knowbyexperience；buttheveryexistenceofsuchmisfortunesprovesthatthesum—totalofhappinessisgreater。Becauseafewthornsaretobefoundinabasketfullofroses，istheexistenceofthosebeautifulflowerstobedenied？No；itisaslandertodenythatlifeishappiness。WhenIaminadarkroom，itpleasesmegreatlytoseethroughawindowanimmensehorizonbeforeme。
Assupper—timewasdrawingnear，IwenttoDonSancio，whomIfoundinmagnificently—furnishedapartments。Thetablewasloadedwithsilverplate，andhisservantswereinlivery。Hewasalone，butallhisguestsarrivedsoonafterme——Cecilia，Marina，andBellino，who，eitherbycapriceorfromtaste，wasdressedasawoman。Thetwoyoungsisters，prettilyarranged，lookedcharming，butBellino，inhisfemalecostume，socompletelythrewthemintotheshade，thatmylastdoubtvanished。
\"Areyousatisfied，\"IsaidtoDonSancio，\"thatBellinoisawoman？\"
\"Womanorman，whatdoIcare！Ithinkheisaverypretty’castrato’，and’Ihaveseenmanyasgood—lookingasheis。\"
\"Butareyousureheisa’castrato’？\"
\"’ValgameDios’！\"answeredthegraveCastilian，\"Ihavenottheslightestwishtoascertainthetruth。\"
Oh，howwidelydifferentourthoughtswere！IadmiredinhimthewisdomofwhichIwassomuchinneed，anddidnotventureuponanymoreindiscreetquestions。Duringthesupper，however，mygreedyeyescouldnotleavethatcharmingbeing；myviciousnaturecausedmetofeelintensevoluptuousnessinbelievinghimtobeofthatsextowhichIwantedhimtobelong。
DonSancio’ssupperwasexcellent，and，asamatterofcourse，superiortomine；otherwisetheprideoftheCastilianwouldhavefelthumbled。Asageneralrule，menarenotsatisfiedwithwhatisgood；theywantthebest，or，tospeakmoretothepoint，themost。
Hegaveuswhitetruffles，severalsortsofshell—fish，thebestfishoftheAdriatic，drychampagne，peralta，sherryandpedroximeneswines。
AfterthatsupperworthyofLucullus，Bellinosangwithavoiceofsuchbeautythatitdeprivedusofthesmallamountofreasonleftinusbytheexcellentwine。Hismovements，theexpressionofhislooks，hisgait，hiswalk，hiscountenance，hisvoice，and，aboveall，myowninstinct，whichtoldmethatIcouldnotpossiblyfeelforacastratowhatIfeltforBellino，confirmedmeinmyhopes；yetitwasnecessarythatmyeyesshouldascertainthetruth。
Aftermanycomplimentsandathousandthanks，wetookleaveofthegrandSpaniard，andwenttomyroom，wherethemysterywasatlasttobeunravelled。IcalleduponBellinotokeephisword，orI
threatenedtoleavehimalonethenextmorningatday—break。
Itookhimbythehand，andweseatedourselvesnearthefire。I
dismissedCeciliaandMarina，andIsaidtohim，\"Bellino，everythingmusthaveanend；youhavepromised:itwillsoonbeover。Ifyouarewhatyourepresentyourselftobe，Iwillletyougobacktoyourownroom；ifyouarewhatIbelieveyoutobe，andifyouconsenttoremainwithmeto—night，Iwillgiveyouonehundredsequins，andwewillstarttogethertomorrowmorning。\"
\"Youmustgoalone，andforgivemeifIcannotfulfilmypromise。I
amwhatItoldyou，andIcanneitherreconcilemyselftotheideaofexposingmyshamebeforeyou，norlaymyselfopentotheterribleconsequencesthatmightfollowthesolutionofyourdoubts。\"
\"Therecanbenoconsequences，sincetherewillbeanendtoitatthemomentIhaveassuredmyselfthatyouareunfortunateenoughtobewhatyousay，andwithoutevermentioningthecircumstancesagain，Ipromisetotakeyouwithmeto—morrowandtoleaveyouatRimini。\"
\"No，mymindismadeup；Icannotsatisfyyourcuriosity。\"
Driventomadnessbyhiswords，Iwasverynearusingviolence，butsubduingmyangryfeelings，Iendeavoredtosucceedbygentlemeansandbygoingstraighttothespotwherethemysterycouldbesolved。
Iwasverynearit，whenhishandopposedaverystrongresistance。
Irepeatedmyefforts，butBellino，risingsuddenly，repulsedme，andIfoundmyselfundone。Afterafewmomentsofcalm，thinkingI
shouldtakehimbysurprise，Iextendedmyhand，butIdrewbackterrified，forIfanciedthatIhadrecognizedinhimaman，andadegradedman，contemptiblelessonaccountofhisdegradationthanforthewantoffeelingIthoughtIcouldreadonhiscountenance。
Disgusted，confused，andalmostblushingformyself，Isenthimaway。
Hissisterscametomyroom，butIdismissedthem，sendingwordtotheirbrotherthathemightgowithme，withoutanyfearoffurtherindiscretiononmypart。Yet，inspiteoftheconvictionIthoughtI
hadacquired，Bellino，evensuchasIbelievehimtobe，filledmythoughts；Icouldnotmakeitout。
EarlythenextmorningIleftAnconawithhim，distractedbythetearsofthetwocharmingsistersandloadedwiththeblessingsofthemotherwho，withbeadsinhand，mumbledher’paternoster’，andrepeatedherconstanttheme:’Dioprovedera’。
ThetrustplacedinProvidencebymostofthosepersonswhoearntheirlivingbysomeprofessionforbiddenbyreligionisneitherabsurd，norfalse，nordeceitful；itisrealandevengodly，foritflowsfromanexcellentsource。WhatevermaybethewaysofProvidence，humanbeingsmustalwaysacknowledgeitinitsaction，andthosewhocalluponProvidenceindependentlyofallexternalconsiderationmust，atthebottom，beworthy，althoughguiltyoftransgressingitslaws。
’PulchraLaverna，Damihifallere；dajustosanctoquevideri；
Noctempeccatis，etfraudibusobjicenubem。’
Suchwasthewayinwhich，inthedaysofHorace，robbersaddressedtheirgoddess，andIrecollectaJesuitwhotoldmeoncethatHoracewouldnothaveknownhisownlanguage，ifhehadsaidjustosanctoque:buttherewereignorantmenevenamongsttheJesuits，androbbersmostlikelyhavebutlittlerespectfortherulesofgrammar。
ThenextmorningIstartedwithBellino，who，believingmetobeundeceived，couldsupposethatIwouldnotshewanymorecuriosityabouthim，butwehadnotbeenaquarterofanhourtogetherwhenhefoundouthismistake，forIcouldnotletmylooksfalluponhissplendideyeswithoutfeelinginmeafirewhichthesightofamancouldnothaveignited。Itoldhimthatallhisfeatureswerethoseofawoman，andthatIwantedthetestimonyofmyeyesbeforeIcouldfeelperfectlysatisfied，becausetheprotuberanceIhadfeltinacertainplacemightbeonlyafreakofnature。\"Shoulditbethecase，\"Iadded，\"Ishouldhavenodifficultyinpassingoveradeformitywhich，inreality，isonlylaughable。Bellino，theimpressionyouproduceuponme，thissortofmagnetism，yourbosomworthyofVenusherself，whichyouhaveonceabandonedtomyeagerhand，thesoundofyourvoice，everymovementofyours，assuremethatyoudonotbelongtomysex。Letmeseeformyself，and，ifmyconjecturesareright，dependuponmyfaithfullove；if，onthecontrary，IfindthatIhavebeenmistaken，youcanrelyuponmyfriendship。Ifyourefuseme，Ishallbecompelledtobelievethatyouarecruellyenjoyingmymisery，andthatyouhavelearnedinthemostaccursedschoolthatthebestwayofpreventingayoungmanfromcuringhimselfofanamorouspassionistoexciteitconstantly；butyoumustagreewithmethat，toputsuchtyrannyinpractice，itisnecessarytohatethepersonitispractisedupon，and，ifthatbeso，Ioughttocalluponmyreasontogivemethestrengthnecessarytohateyoulikewise。\"
Iwentonspeakingforalongtime；Bellinodidnotanswer，butheseemeddeeplymoved。AtlastItoldhimthat，inthefearfulstatetowhichIwasreducedbyhisresistance，Ishouldbecompelledtotreathimwithoutanyregardforhisfeelings，andfindoutthetruthbyforce。Heansweredwithmuchwarmthanddignity:\"Recollectthatyouarenotmymaster，thatIaminyourhands，becauseIhadfaithinyourpromise，andthat，ifyouuseviolence，youwillbeguiltyofmurder。Orderthepostilliontostop，Iwillgetoutofthecarriage，andyoumayrelyuponmynotcomplainingofyourtreatment。\"
Thosefewwordswerefollowedbyatorrentoftears，asightwhichI
nevercouldresist。Ifeltmyselfmovedintheinmostrecessesofmysoul，andIalmostthoughtthatIhadbeenwrong。Isayalmost，because，hadIbeenconvincedofit，Iwouldhavethrownmyselfathisfeetentreatingpardon；but，notfeelingmyselfcompetenttostandinjudgmentinmyowncause，Isatisfiedmyselfbyremainingdullandsilent，andIneverutteredoneworduntilwewereonlyhalfamilefromSinigaglia，whereIintendedtotakesupperandtoremainforthenight。Havingfoughtlongenoughwithmyownfeelings，I
saidtohim；
\"WemighthavespentalittletimeinRiminilikegoodfriends，ifyouhadfeltanyfriendshipforme，for，withalittlekindcompliance，youcouldhaveeasilycuredmeofmypassion。\"
\"Itwouldnotcureyou，\"answeredBellino，courageously，butwithasweetnessoftonewhichsurprisedme；\"no，youwouldnotbecured，whetheryoufoundmetobemanorwoman，foryouareinlovewithmeindependentlyofmysex，andthecertaintyyouwouldacquirewouldmakeyoufurious。Insuchastate，shouldyoufindmeinexorable，youwouldverylikelygivewaytoexcesseswhichwouldafterwardscauseyoudeepsorrow。\"
\"Youexpecttomakemeadmitthatyouareright，butyouarecompletelymistaken，forIfeelthatIshouldremainperfectlycalm，andthatbycomplyingwithmywishesyouwouldgainmyfriendship。\"
\"Itellyouagainthatyouwouldbecomefurious。\"
\"Bellino，thatwhichhasmademefuriousisthesightofyourcharms，eithertoorealortoocompletelydeceiving，thepowerofwhichyoucannotaffecttoignore。Youhavenotbeenafraidtoignitemyamorousfury，howcanyouexpectmetobelieveyounow，whenyoupretendtofearit，andwhenIamonlyaskingyoutoletmetouchathing，which，ifitbeasyousay，willonlydisgustme？\"
\"Ah！disgustyou；Iamquitecertainofthecontrary。Listentome。
WereIagirl，IfeelIcouldnotresistlovingyou，but，beingaman，itismydutynottograntwhatyoudesire，foryourpassion，nowverynatural，wouldthenbecomemonstrous。Yourardentnaturewouldbestrongerthanyourreason，andyourreasonitselfwouldeasilycometotheassistanceofyoursensesandofyournature。
Thatviolentclearing—upofthemystery，wereyoutoobtainit，wouldleaveyoudeprivedofallcontroloveryourself。Disappointedinnotfindingwhatyouhadexpected，youwouldsatisfyyourpassionuponthatwhichyouwouldfind，andtheresultwould，ofcourse，beanabomination。Howcanyou，intelligentasyouare，flatteryourselfthat，findingmetobeaman，youcouldallatonceceasetoloveme？
Wouldthecharmswhichyounowseeinmeceasetoexistthen？
Perhapstheirpowerwould，onthecontrary，beenhanced，andyourpassion，becomingbrutal，wouldleadyoutotakeanymeansyourimaginationsuggestedtogratifyit。Youwouldpersuadeyourselfthatyoumightchangemeintoawoman，or，whatisworse，thatyoumightchangeyourselfintoone。Yourpassionwouldinventathousandsophismstojustifyyourlove，decoratedwiththefineappellationoffriendship，andyouwouldnotfailtoallegehundredsofsimilarlydisgustingcasesinordertoexcuseyourconduct。Youwouldcertainlyneverfindmecompliant；andhowamItoknowthatyouwouldnotthreatenmewithdeath？\"
\"Nothingofthesortwouldhappen，Bellino，\"Ianswered，rathertiredofthelengthofhisargument，\"positivelynothing，andIamsureyouareexaggeratingyourfears。YetIamboundtotellyouthat，evenifallyousayshouldhappen，itseemstomethattoallowwhatcanstrictlybeconsideredonlyasatemporaryfitofinsanity，wouldprovealessevilthantorenderincurableadiseaseofthemindwhichreasonwouldsooncutshort。\"
Thusdoesapoorphilosopherreasonwhenhetakesitintohisheadtoargueatthoseperiodsduringwhichapassionraginginhissoulmakesallitsfacultieswander。Toreasonwell，wemustbeundertheswayneitheroflovenorofanger，forthosetwopassionshaveonethingincommonwhichisthat，intheirexcess，theylowerustotheconditionofbrutesactingonlyundertheinfluenceoftheirpredominatinginstinct，and，unfortunately，wearenevermoredisposedtoarguethanwhenwefeelourselvesundertheinfluenceofeitherofthosetwopowerfulhumanpassions。
WearrivedatSinigaglialateatnight，andIwenttothebestinn，and，afterchoosingacomfortableroom，orderedsupper。Astherewasbutonebedintheroom，IaskedBellino，inascalmatoneasI
couldassume，whetherhewouldhaveafirelightedinanotherchamber，andmysurprisemaybeimaginedwhenheansweredquietlythathehadnoobjectiontosleepinthesamebedwithme。Suchananswer，however，unexpected，wasnecessarytodispeltheangryfeelingsunderwhichIwaslabouring。IguessedthatIwasnearthedenouementoftheromance，butIwasveryfarfromcongratulatingmyself，forIdidnotknowwhetherthedenouementwouldproveagreeableornot。Ifelt，however，arealsatisfactionathavingconquered，andwassureofmyself—control，incasethesenses，mynaturalinstinct，ledmeastray。ButifIfoundmyselfintheright，IthoughtIcouldexpectthemostpreciousfavours。
Wesatdowntosupperoppositeeachother，andduringthemeal，hiswords，hiscountenance，theexpressionofhisbeautifuleyes，hissweetandvoluptuoussmile，everythingseemedtoannouncethathehadhadenoughofplayingapartwhichmusthaveprovedaspainfultohimastome。
Aweightwasliftedoffmymind，andImanagedtoshortenthesupperasmuchaspossible。Assoonaswehadleftthetable，myamiablecompanioncalledforanight—lamp，undressedhimself，andwenttobed。Iwasnotlonginfollowinghim，andthereaderwillsoonknowthenatureofadenouementsolongandsoardentlydesired；inthemeantimeIbegtowishhimashappyanightastheonewhichwasthenawaitingme。
CHAPTERXII
Bellino’sHistory——IAmPutUnderArrest——IRunAwayAgainstMyWill——MyReturnToRimini，andMyArrivalInBolognaDearreader，Isaidenoughattheendofthelastchaptertomakeyouguesswhathappened，butnolanguagewouldbepowerfulenoughtomakeyourealizeallthevoluptuousnesswhichthatcharmingbeinghadinstoreforme。ShecameclosetomethemomentIwasinbed。Withoututteringonewordourlipsmet，andIfoundmyselfintheecstasyofenjoymentbeforeIhadhadtimetoseekforit。Aftersocompleteavictory，whatwouldmyeyesandmyfingershavegainedfrominvestigationswhichcouldnotgivememorecertaintythanIhadalreadyobtained？Icouldnottakemygazeoffthatbeautifulface，whichwasallaflamewiththeardouroflove。
Afteramomentofquietrapture，asparklightedupinourveinsafreshconflagrationwhichwedrownedinaseaofnewdelights。
Bellinofeltboundtomakemeforgetmysufferings，andtorewardmebyanardourequaltothefirekindledbyhercharms。
ThehappinessIgaveherincreasedminetwofold，forithasalwaysbeenmyweaknesstocomposethefour—fifthsofmyenjoymentfromthesum—totalofthehappinesswhichIgavethecharmingbeingfromwhomIderivedit。Butsuchafeelingmustnecessarilycausehatredforoldagewhichcanstillreceivepleasure，butcannolongergiveenjoymenttoanother。Andyouthrunsawayfromoldage，becauseitisitsmostcruelenemy。
Anintervalofreposebecamenecessary，inconsequenceoftheactivityofourenjoyment。Oursenseswerenottiredout，buttheyrequiredtherestwhichrenewstheirsensitivenessandrestoresthebuoyancynecessarytoactiveservice。
Bellinowasthefirsttobreakoursilence。
\"Dearest，\"shesaid，\"areyousatisfiednow？Haveyoufoundmetrulyloving？\"
\"Trulyloving？Ah！traitressthatyouare！Doyou，then，confessthatIwasnotmistakenwhenIguessedthatyouwereacharmingwoman？Andifyoutrulylovedme，tellmehowyoucouldcontrivetodeferyourhappinessandminesolong？ButisitquitecertainthatIdidnotmakeamistake？\"
\"Iamyoursallover；seeforyourself。\"
Oh，whatdelightfulsurvey！whatcharmingbeauties！whatanoceanofenjoyment！ButIcouldnotfindanytraceoftheprotuberancewhichhadsomuchterrifiedanddisgustedme。
\"Whathasbecome，\"Isaid，\"ofthatdreadfulmonstrosity？\"
\"Listentome，\"shereplied，\"andIwilltellyoueverything。
\"MynameisTherese。Myfather，apoorclerkintheInstituteofBologna，hadletanapartmentinhishousetothecelebratedSalimberi，acastrato，andadelightfulmusician。Hewasyoungandhandsome，hebecameattachedtome，andIfeltflatteredbyhisaffectionandbythepraisehelavisheduponme。Iwasonlytwelveyearsofage；heproposedtoteachmemusic，andfindingthatIhadafinevoice，hecultivateditcarefully，andinlessthanayearI
couldaccompanymyselfontheharpsichord。Hisrewardwasthatwhichhisloveformeinducedhimtoask，andIgrantedtherewardwithoutfeelinganyhumiliation，forIworshippedhim。Ofcourse，menlikeyourselfaremuchabovemenofhisspecies，butSalimberiwasanexception。Hisbeauty，hismanners，histalent，andtherarequalitiesofhissoul，madehimsuperiorinmyeyestoallthemenI
hadseenuntilthen。Hewasmodestandreserved，richandgenerous，andIdoubtwhetherhecouldhavefoundawomanabletoresisthim；
yetIneverheardhimboastofhavingseducedany。Themutilationpractiseduponhisbodyhadmadehimamonster，buthewasanangelbyhisrarequalitiesandendowments。
\"Salimberiwasatthattimeeducatingaboyofthesameageasmyself，whowasinRiminiwithamusicteacher。Thefatheroftheboy，whowaspoorandhadalargefamily，seeinghimselfneardeath，hadthoughtofhavinghisunfortunatesonmaimedsothatheshouldbecomethesupportofhisbrotherswithhisvoice。ThenameoftheboywasBellino；thegoodwomanwhomyouhavejustseeninAnconawashismother，andeverybodybelievesthatsheismine。
\"IhadbelongedtoSalimberiforaboutayear，whenheannouncedtomeoneday，weepingbitterly，thathewascompelledtoleavemetogotoRome，buthepromisedtoseemeagain。Thenewsthrewmeintodespair。Hehadarrangedeverythingforthecontinuationofmymusicaleducation，but，ashewaspreparinghimselfforhisdeparture，myfatherdiedverysuddenly，afterashortillness，andI
wasleftanorphan。
\"Salimberihadnotcourageenoughtoresistmytearsandmyentreaties；hemadeuphismindtotakemetoRimini，andtoplacemeinthesamehousewherehisyoung’protege’waseducated。WereachedRimini，andputupataninn；afterashortrest，Salimberileftmetocallupontheteacherofmusic，andtomakeallnecessaryarrangementsrespectingmewithhim；buthesoonreturned，lookingsadandunhappy；Bellinohaddiedthedaybefore。
\"Ashewasthinkingofthegriefwhichthelossoftheyoungmanwouldcausehismother，hewasstruckwiththeideaofbringingmebacktoBolognaunderthenameofBellino，wherehecouldarrangeformyboardwiththemotherofthedeceasedBellino，who，beingverypoor，wouldfindittoheradvantagetokeepthesecret。’Iwillgiveher，’hesaid，’everythingnecessaryforthecompletionofyourmusicaleducation，andinfouryears，IwilltakeyoutoDresden（hewasintheserviceoftheElectorofSaxony，KingofPoland），notasagirl，butasacastrato。Therewewilllivetogetherwithoutgivinganyonecauseforscandal，andyouwillremainwithmeandministertomyhappinessuntilIdie。AllwehavetodoistorepresentyouasBellino，anditisveryeasy，asnobodyknowsyouinBologna。Bellino’smotherwillaloneknowthesecret；herotherchildrenhaveseentheirbrotheronlywhenhewasveryyoung，andcanhavenosuspicion。Butifyoulovemeyoumustrenounceyoursex，loseeventheremembranceofit，andleaveimmediatelyforBologna，dressedasaboy，andunderthenameofBellino。Youmustbeverycarefullestanyoneshouldfindoutthatyouareagirl；youmustsleepalone，dressyourselfinprivate，andwhenyourbosomisformed，asitwillbeinayearortwo，itwillonlybethoughtadeformitynotuncommonamongst’castrati’。Besides，beforeleavingyou，Iwillgiveyouasmallinstrument，andteachhowtofixitinsuchmannerthat，ifyouhadatanytimetosubmittoanexamination，youwouldeasilybemistakenforaman。Ifyouacceptmyplan，I
feelcertainthatwecanlivetogetherinDresdenwithoutlosingthegoodgracesofthequeen，whoisveryreligious。Tellme，now，whetheryouwillacceptmyproposal？
\"Hecouldnotentertainanydoubtofmyconsent，forIadoredhim。
AssoonashehadmadeaboyofmeweleftRiminiforBologna，wherewearrivedlateintheevening。AlittlegoldmadeeverythingrightwithBellino’smother；Igaveherthenameofmother，andshekissedme，callingmeherdearson。Salimberileftus，andreturnedashorttimeafterwardswiththeinstrumentwhichwouldcompletemytransformation。Hetaughtme，inthepresenceofmynewmother，howtofixitwithsometragacanthgum，andIfoundmyselfexactlylikemyfriend。Iwouldhavelaughedatit，hadnotmyheartbeendeeplygrievedatthedepartureofmybelovedSalimberi，forhebademefarewellassoonasthecuriousoperationwascompleted。Peoplelaughatforebodings；Idonotbelieveinthemmyself，buttheforebodingofevil，whichalmostbrokemyheartashegavemehisfarewellkiss，didnotdeceiveme。Ifeltthecoldshiveringofdeathrunthroughme；IfeltIwaslookingathimforthelasttime，andIfaintedaway。Alas！myfearsprovedonlytooprophetic。
SalimberidiedayearagointheTyrolintheprimeoflife，withthecalmnessofatruephilosopher。Hisdeathcompelledmetoearnmylivingwiththeassistanceofmymusicaltalent。Mymotheradvisedmetocontinuetogivemyselfoutasacastrato，inthehopeofbeingabletotakemetoRome。Iagreedtodoso，forIdidnotfeelsufficientenergytodecideuponanyotherplan。InthemeantimesheacceptedanofferfortheAnconaTheatre，andPetroniotookthepartoffirstfemaledancer；inthiswayweplayedthecomedyof’TheWorldTurnedUpsideDown。’
\"AfterSalimberi，youaretheonlymanIhaveknown，and，ifyoulike，youcanrestoremetomyoriginalstate，andmakemegiveupthenameofBellino，whichIhatesincethedeathofmyprotector，andwhichbeginstoinconvenienceme。Ihaveonlyappearedattwotheatres，andeachtimeIhavebeencompelledtosubmittothescandalous，degradingexamination，becauseeverywhereIamthoughttohavetoomuchtheappearanceofagirl，andIamadmittedonlyaftertheshamefultesthasbroughtconviction。Untilnow，fortunately，I
havehadtodealonlywitholdpriestswho，intheirgoodfaith，havebeensatisfiedwithaveryslightexamination，andhavemadeafavourablereporttothebishop；butImightfallintothehandsofsomeyoungabbe，andthetestwouldthenbecomeamoresevereone。
Besides，Ifindmyselfexposedtothedailypersecutionsoftwosortsofbeings:thosewho，likeyou，cannotandwillnotbelievemetobeaman，andthosewho，forthesatisfactionoftheirdisgustingpropensities，aredelightedatmybeingso，orfinditadvantageoustosupposemeso。Thelastparticularlyannoyme！Theirtastesaresoinfamous，theirhabitssolow，thatIfearIshallmurderoneofthemsomeday，whenIcannolongercontroltherageinwhichtheirobscenelanguagethrowsme。Outofpity，mybelovedangel，begenerous；and，ifyouloveme，oh！freemefromthisstateofshameanddegradation！Takemewithyou。Idonotasktobecomeyourwife，thatwouldbetoomuchhappiness；Iwillonlybeyourfriend，yourmistress，asIwouldhavebeenSalimberi’s；myheartispureandinnocent，IfeelthatIcanremainfaithfultomyloverthroughmywholelife。Donotabandonme。TheloveIhaveforyouissincere；
myaffectionforSalimberiwasinnocent；itwasbornofmyinexperienceandofmygratitude，anditisonlywithyouthatIhavefeltmyselftrulyawoman。\"
Heremotion，aninexpressiblecharmwhichseemedtoflowfromherlipsandtoenforceconviction，mademeshedtearsofloveandsympathy。Iblendedmytearswiththosefallingfromherbeautifuleyes，anddeeplymoved，Ipromisednottoabandonherandtomakeherthesharerofmyfate。Interestedinthehistory，assingularasextraordinary，thatshehadjustnarrated，andhavingseennothinginitthatdidnotbearthestampoftruth，IfeltreallydisposedtomakeherhappybutIcouldnotbelievethatIhadinspiredherwithaverydeeppassionduringmyshortstayinAncona，manycircumstancesofwhichmight，onthecontrary，havehadanoppositeeffectuponherheart。
\"Ifyoulovedmetruly，\"Isaid，\"howcouldyouletmesleepwithyoursisters，outofspiteatyourresistance？\"
\"Alas，dearest！thinkofourgreatpoverty，andhowdifficultitwasformetodiscovermyself。Ilovedyou；butwasitnotnaturalthatIshouldsupposeyourinclinationformeonlyapassingcaprice？
WhenIsawyougosoeasilyfromCeciliatoMarinetta，Ithoughtthatyouwouldtreatmeinthesamemannerassoonasyourdesiresweresatisfied，Iwaslikewiseconfirmedinmyopinionofyourwantofconstancyandofthelittleimportanceyouattachedtothedelicacyofthesentimentoflove，whenIwitnessedwhatyoudidonboardtheTurkishvesselwithoutbeinghinderedbymypresence；hadyoulovedme，Ithoughtmybeingpresentwouldhavemadeyouuncomfortable。I
fearedtobesoondespised，andGodknowshowmuchIsuffered！Youhaveinsultedme，darling，inmanydifferentways，butmyheartpleadedinyourfavour，becauseIknewyouwereexcited，angry，andthirstingforrevenge。Didyounotthreatenmethisverydayinyourcarriage？Iconfessyougreatlyfrightenedme，butdonotfancythatIgavemyselftoyououtoffear。No，IhadmadeupmymindtobeyoursfromthemomentyousentmewordbyCeciliathatyouwouldtakemetoRimini，andyourcontroloveryourownfeelingsduringapartofourjourneyconfirmedmeinmyresolution，forIthoughtIcouldtrustmyselftoyourhonour，toyourdelicacy。\"
\"Throwup，\"Isaid，\"theengagementyouhaveinRimini；letusproceedonourjourney，and，afterremainingacoupleofdaysinBologna，youwillgowithmetoVenice；dressedasawoman，andwithanothername，Iwouldchallengethemanagerheretofindyouout。\"
\"Iaccept。Yourwillshallalwaysbemylaw。Iammyownmistress，andIgivemyselftoyouwithoutanyreserveorrestriction；myheartbelongstoyou，andItrusttokeepyours。\"
Manhasinhimselfamoralforceofactionwhichalwaysmakeshimoverstepthelineonwhichheisstanding。Ihadobtainedeverything，Iwantedmore。\"Shewme，\"Isaid，\"howyouwerewhenI
mistookyouforaman。\"Shegotoutofbed，openedhertrunk，tookouttheinstrumentandfixeditwiththegum:Iwascompelledtoadmiretheingenuityofthecontrivance。Mycuriositywassatisfied，andIpassedamostdelightfulnightinherarms。
WhenIwokeupinthemorning，Iadmiredherlovelyfacewhileshewassleeping:allIknewofhercamebacktomymind；thewordswhichhadbeenspokenbyherbewitchingmouth，herraretalent，hercandour，herfeelingssofullofdelicacy，andhermisfortunes，theheaviestofwhichmusthavebeenthefalsecharactershehadbeencompelledtoassume，andwhichexposedhertohumiliationandshame，everythingstrengthenedmyresolutiontomakeherthecompanionofmydestiny，whateveritmightbe，ortofollowherfate，forourpositionswereverynearlythesame；andwishingtrulytoattachmyselfseriouslytothatinterestingbeing，Ideterminedtogivetoourunionthesanctionofreligionandoflaw，andtotakeherlegallyformywife。Suchastep，asIthenthought，couldbutstrengthenourlove，increaseourmutualesteem，andinsuretheapprobationofsocietywhichcouldnotacceptourunionunlessitwassanctionedintheusualmanner。
ThetalentsofThereseprecludedthefearofourbeingeverinwantofthenecessariesoflife，and，althoughIdidnotknowinwhatwaymyowntalentsmightbemadeavailable，Ihadfaithinmyself。Ourlovemighthavebeenlessened，shewouldhaveenjoyedtoogreatadvantagesoverme，andmyself—dignitywouldhavetoodeeplysufferedifIhadallowedmyselftobesupportedbyherearningsonly。Itmight，afteratime，havealteredthenatureofourfeelings；mywife，nolongerthinkingherselfunderanyobligationtome，mighthavefanciedherselftheprotecting，insteadoftheprotectedparty，andIfeltthatmylovewouldsoonhaveturnedintouttercontempt，ifithadbeenmymisfortunetofindherharbouringsuchthoughts。AlthoughItrusteditwouldnotbeso，Iwanted，beforetakingtheimportantstepofmarriage，toprobeherheart，andIresolvedtotryanexperimentwhichwouldatonceenablemetojudgetherealfeelingsofherinmostsoul。Assoonasshewasawake，Ispoketoherthus:
\"DearestTherese，allyouhavetoldmeleavesmenodoubtofyourloveforme，andtheconsciousnessyoufeelofbeingthemistressofmyheartenhancesmyloveforyoutosuchadegree，thatIamreadytodoeverythingtoconvinceyouthatyouwerenotmistakeninthinkingthatyouhadentirelyconqueredme。IwishtoprovetoyouthatIamworthyofthenobleconfidenceyouhavereposedinmebytrustingyouwithequalsincerity。
\"Ourheartsmustbeonafootingofperfectequality。Iknowyou，mydearestTherese，butyoudonotknowmeyet。Icanreadinyoureyesthatyoudonotmindit，anditprovesourgreatlove，butthatfeelingplacesmetoomuchbelowyou，andIdonotwishyoutohavesogreatanadvantageoverme。Ifeelcertainthatmyconfidenceisnotnecessarytoyourlove；thatyouonlycaretobemine，thatyouronlywishistopossessmyheart，andIadmireyou，myTherese；butI
shouldfeelhumiliatedifIfoundmyselfeithertoomuchaboveortoomuchbelowyou。Youhaveentrustedyoursecretstome，nowlistentomine；butbeforeIbegin，promisemethat，whenyouknoweverythingthatconcernsme，youwilltellmecandidlyifanychangehastakenplaceeitherinyourfeelingsorinyourhopes。\"
\"Ipromiseitfaithfully；Ipromisenottoconcealanythingfromyou；
butbeuprightenoughnottotellmeanythingthatisnotperfectlytrue，forIwarnyouthatitwouldbeuseless。IfyoutriedanyartificeinordertofindmelessworthyofyouthanIaminreality，youwouldonlysucceedinloweringyourselfinmyestimation。I
shouldbeverysorrytoseeyouguiltyofanycunningtowardsme。
HavenomoresuspicionofmethanIhaveofyou；tellmethewholetruth。\"
\"Hereitis。Yousupposemewealthy，andIamnotso；assoonaswhatthereisnowinmypurseisspentIshallhavenothingleft。
YoumayfancythatIwasbornapatrician，butmysocialconditionisreallyinferiortoyourown。Ihavenolucrativetalents，noprofession，nothingtogivemetheassurancethatIamabletoearnmyliving。Ihaveneitherrelativesnorfriends，norclaimsuponanyone，andIhavenoseriousplanorpurposebeforeme。AllI
possessisyouth，health，courage，someintelligence，honour，honesty，andsometinctureofletters。Mygreatesttreasureconsistsinbeingmyownmaster，perfectlyindependent，andnotafraidofmisfortune。Withallthat，Iamnaturallyinclinedtoextravagance。
LovelyTherese，youhavemyportrait。Whatisyouranswer？\"
\"Inthefirstplace，dearest，letmeassureyouthatIbelieveeverywordyouhavejustuttered，asIwouldbelieveintheGospel；inthesecond，allowmetotellyouthatseveraltimesinAnconaIhavejudgedyousuchasyouhavejustdescribedyourself，butfarfrombeingdispleasedatsuchaknowledgeofyournature，Iwasonlyafraidofsomeillusiononmypart，forIcouldhopetowinyouifyouwerewhatIthoughtyoutobe。Inoneword，dearone，ifitistruethatyouarepoorandaverybadhandateconomy，allowmetotellyouthatIfeeldelighted，because，ifyouloveme，youwillnotrefuseapresentfromme，ordespisemeforofferingit。Thepresentconsistsofmyself，suchasIam，andwithallmyfaculties。Igivemyselftoyouwithoutanycondition，withnorestriction；Iamyours，Iwilltakecareofyou。Forthefuturethinkonlyofyourloveforme，butlovemeexclusively。FromthismomentIamnolongerBellino。LetusgotoVenice，wheremytalentwillkeepusbothcomfortably；ifyouwishtogoanywhereelse，letusgowhereyouplease。\"
\"ImustgotoConstantinople。\"
\"ThenletusproceedtoConstantinople。Ifyouareafraidtolosemethroughwantofconstancy，marryme，andyourrightovermewillbestrengthenedbylaw。IshouldnotloveyoubetterthanIdonow，butIshouldbehappytobeyourwife。\"
\"Itismyintentiontomarryyou，andIamdelightedthatweagreeinthatrespect。Thedayafterto—morrow，inBologna，youshallbemademylegal—wifebeforethealtarofGod；IswearittoyouhereinthepresenceofLove。Iwantyoutobemine，Iwanttobeyours，Iwantustobeunitedbythemostholyties。\"
\"Iamthehappiestofwomen！WehavenothingtodoinRimini；
supposewedonotgetup；wecanhaveourdinnerinbed，andgoawayto—morrowwellrestedafterourfatigues。\"
WeleftRiminithenextday，andstayedforbreakfastatPesaro。Asweweregettingintothecarriagetoleavethatplace，anofficer，accompaniedbytwosoldiers，presentedhimself，enquiredforournames，anddemandedourpassports。Bellinohadoneandgaveit，butIlookedinvainformine；Icouldnotfindit。
Theofficer，acorporal，ordersthepostilliontowaitandgoestomakehisreport。Halfanhourafterwards，hereturns，givesBellinohispassport，sayingthathecancontinuehisjourney，buttellsmethathisordersaretoescortmetothecommandingofficer，andI
followhim。
\"Whathaveyoudonewithyourpassport？\"enquiresthatofficer。
\"Ihavelostit。\"
\"Apassportisnotsoeasilylost。\"
\"Well，Ihavelostmine。\"
\"Youcannotproceedanyfurther。\"
\"IcomefromRome，andIamgoingtoConstantinople，bearingaletterfromCardinalAcquaviva。Hereistheletterstampedwithhisseal。\"
\"AllIcandoforyouistosendyoutoM。deGages。\"
Ifoundthefamousgeneralstanding，surroundedbyhisstaff。ItoldhimallIhadalreadyexplainedtotheofficer，andbeggedhimtoletmecontinuemyjourney。
\"TheonlyfavourIcangrantyouistoputyouunderarresttillyoureceiveanotherpassportfromRomedeliveredunderthesamenameastheoneyouhavegivenhere。Toloseapassportisamisfortunewhichbefallsonlyathoughtless，giddyman，andthecardinalwillforthefutureknowbetterthantoputhisconfidenceinagiddyfellowlikeyou。\"
Withthesewords，hegaveorderstotakemetotheguard—houseatSt。
Mary’sGate，outsidethecity，assoonasIshouldhavewrittentothecardinalforanewpassport。Hisorderswereexecuted。Iwasbroughtbacktotheinn，whereIwrotemyletter，andIsentitbyexpresstohiseminence，entreatinghimtoforwardthedocument，withoutlossoftime，directtothewaroffice。ThenIembracedTheresewhowasweeping，and，tellinghertogotoRiminiandtowaitthereformyreturn，Imadehertakeonehundredsequins。ShewishedtoremaininPesaro，butIwouldnothearofit；Ihadmytrunkbroughtout，IsawTheresegoawayfromtheinn，andwastakentotheplaceappointedbythegeneral。
Itisundoubtedlyundersuchcircumstancesthatthemostdeterminedoptimistfindshimselfataloss；butaneasystoicismcanbluntthetoosharpedgeofmisfortune。
Mygreatestsorrowwastheheart—griefofTheresewho，seeingmetornfromherarmsattheverymomentofourunion，wassuffocatedbythetearswhichshetriedtorepress。ShewouldnothaveleftmeifI
hadnotmadeherunderstandthatshecouldnotremaininPesaro，andifIhadnotpromisedtojoinherwithintendays，nevertobepartedagain。Butfatehaddecidedotherwise。
Whenwereachedthegate，theofficerconfinedmeimmediatelyintheguard—house，andIsatdownonmytrunk。TheofficerwasataciturnSpaniardwhodidnotevencondescendtohonourmewithananswer，whenItoldhimthatIhadmoneyandwouldliketohavesomeonetowaitonme。Ihadtopassthenightonalittlestraw，andwithoutfood，inthemidstoftheSpanishsoldiers。Itwasthesecondnightofthesortthatmydestinyhadcondemnedmeto，immediatelyaftertwodelightfulnights。Mygoodangeldoubtlessfoundsomepleasureinbringingsuchconjunctionsbeforemymindforthebenefitofmyinstruction。Atallevents，teachingsofthatdescriptionhaveaninfallibleeffectuponnaturesofapeculiarstamp。
Ifyoushouldwishtoclosethelipsofalogiciancallinghimselfaphilosopher，whodarestoarguethatinthislifegriefoverbalancespleasure，askhimwhetherhewouldacceptalifeentirelywithoutsorrowandhappiness。Becertainthathewillnotansweryou，orhewillshuffle，because，ifhesaysno，heprovesthathelikeslifesuchasitis，andifhelikesit，hemustfinditagreeable，whichisanutterimpossibility，iflifeispainful；shouldhe，onthecontrary，answerintheaffirmative，hewoulddeclarehimselfafool，foritwouldbeasmuchastosaythathecanconceivepleasurearisingfromindifference，whichisabsurdnonsense。
Sufferingisinherentinhumannature；butweneversufferwithoutentertainingthehopeofrecovery，or，atleast，veryseldomwithoutsuchhope，andhopeitselfisapleasure。Ifithappenssometimesthatmansufferswithoutanyexpectationofacure，henecessarilyfindspleasureinthecompletecertaintyoftheendofhislife；fortheworst，inallcases，mustbeeitherasleeparisingfromextremedejection，duringwhichwehavetheconsolationofhappydreamsorthelossofallsensitiveness。Butwhenwearehappy，ourhappinessisneverdisturbedbythethoughtthatitwillbefollowedbygrief。
Thereforepleasure，duringitsactiveperiod，isalwayscomplete，withoutalloy；griefisalwayssoothedbyhope。
Isupposeyou，dearreader，attheageoftwenty，anddevotingyourselftothetaskofmakingamanofyourselfbyfurnishingyourmindwithalltheknowledgenecessarytorenderyouausefulbeingthroughtheactivityofyourbrain。Someonecomesinandtellsyou，\"Ibringyouthirtyyearsofexistence；itistheimmutabledecreeoffate；fifteenconsecutiveyearsmustbehappy，andfifteenyearsunhappy。Youareatlibertytochoosethehalfbywhichyouwishtobegin。\"
Confessitcandidly，dearreader，youwillnotrequiremuchmoreconsiderationtodecide，andyouwillcertainlybeginbytheunhappyseriesofyears，becauseyouwillfeelthattheexpectationoffifteendelightfulyearscannotfailtobraceyouupwiththecouragenecessarytobeartheunfortunateyearsyouhavetogothrough，andwecanevensurmise，witheveryprobabilityofbeingright，thatthecertaintyoffuturehappinesswillsoothetoaconsiderableextentthemiseryofthefirstperiod。
Youhavealreadyguessed，Ihavenodoubt，thepurposeofthislengthyargument。Thesagaciousman，believeme，canneverbeutterlymiserable，andImostwillinglyagreewithmyfriendHorace，whosaysthat，onthecontrary，suchamanisalwayshappy。
’Nisiquumpituitamolestaest。’
But，praywhereisthemanwhoisalwayssufferingfromarheum？
ThefactisthatthefearfulnightIpassedintheguardhouseofSt。
Maryresultedformeinaslightlossandinagreatgain。ThesmalllosswastobeawayfrommydearTherese，but，beingcertainofseeingherwithintendays，themisfortunewasnotverygreat:astothegain，itwasinexperiencethetrueschoolforaman。Igainedacompletesystemagainstthoughtlessness，asystemofforesight。Youmaysafelybetahundredtoonethatayoungmanwhohasoncelosthispurseorhispassport，willnotloseeitherasecondtime。Eachofthosemisfortuneshasbefallenmeonceonly，andImighthavebeenveryoftenthevictimofthem，ifexperiencehadnottaughtmehowmuchtheyweretobedreaded。Athoughtlessfellowisamanwhohasnotyetfoundtheworddreadinthedictionaryofhislife。
Theofficerwhorelievedmycross—grainedCastilianonthefollowingdayseemedofadifferentnaturealtogether；hisprepossessingcountenancepleasedmemuch。HewasaFrenchman，andImustsaythatIhavealwayslikedtheFrench，andnevertheSpainards；thereisinthemannersofthefirstsomethingsoengaging，soobliging，thatyoufeelattractedtowardsthemastowardsafriend，whilstanairofunbecominghaughtinessgivestothesecondadark，forbiddingcountenancewhichcertainlydoesnotprepossessintheirfavour。YetIhaveoftenbeendupedbyFrenchmen，andneverbySpaniards——aproofthatweoughttomistrustourtastes。
Thenewofficer，approachingmeverypolitely，saidtome，——
\"Towhatchance，reverendsir，amIindebtedforthehonourofhavingyouinmycustody？\"
Ah！herewasawayofspeakingwhichrestoredtomylungsalltheirelasticity！Igavehimalltheparticularsofmymisfortune，andhefoundthemishapveryamusing。Butamandisposedtolaughatmydisappointmentcouldnotbedisagreeabletome，foritprovedthattheturnofhismindhadmorethanonepointofresemblancewithmine。Hegavemeatonceasoldiertoserveme，andIhadveryquicklyabed，atable，andafewchairs。Hewaskindenoughtohavemybedplacedinhisownroom，andIfeltverygratefultohimforthatdelicateattention。
Hegavemeaninvitationtosharehisdinner，andproposedagameofpiquetafterwards，butfromtheverybeginninghesawthatIwasnomatchforhim；hetoldmeso，andhewarnedmethattheofficerwhowouldrelievehimthenextdaywasabetterplayereventhanhewashimself；Ilostthreeorfourducats。Headvisedmetoabstainfromplayingonthefollowingday，andIfollowedhisadvice。Hetoldmealsothathewouldhavecompanytosupper，thattherewouldbeagameoffaro，butthatthebankerbeingaGreekandacraftyplayer，I
oughtnottoplay。Ithoughthisadviceveryconsiderate，particularlywhenIsawthatallthepunterslost，andthattheGreek，verycalminthemidstoftheinsultingtreatmentofthosehehadduped，waspocketinghismoney，afterhandingasharetotheofficerwhohadtakenaninterestinthebank。ThenameofthebankerwasDonPepeilCadetto，andbyhisaccentIknewhewasaNeapolitan。Icommunicatedmydiscoverytotheofficer，askinghimwhyhehadtoldmethatthemanwasaGreek。Heexplainedtomethemeaningofthewordgreekappliedtoagambler，andthelessonwhichfollowedhisexplanationprovedveryusefultomeinafteryears。
Duringthefivefollowingdays，mylifewasuniformandratherdull，butonthesixthdaythesameFrenchofficerwasonguard，andIwasverygladtoseehim。Hetoldme，withaheartylaugh，thathewasdelightedtofindmestillintheguard—house，andIacceptedthecomplimentforwhatitwasworth。Intheevening，wehadthesamebankatfaro，withthesameresultasthefirsttime，exceptaviolentblowfromthestickofoneofthepuntersuponthebackofthebanker，ofwhichtheGreekstoicallyfeignedtotakenonotice。
IsawthesamemanagainnineyearsafterwardsinVienna，captainintheserviceofMariaTheresa；hethencalledhimselfd’Afflisso。Tenyearslater，Ifoundhimacolonel，andsometimeafterworthamillion；butthelasttimeIsawhim，somethirteenorfourteenyearsago，hewasagalleyslave。Hewashandsome，but（ratherasingularthing）inspiteofhisbeauty，hehadagallowslook。Ihaveseenotherswiththesamestamp——Cagliostro，forinstance，andanotherwhohasnotyetbeensenttothegalleys，butwhocannotfailtopaythemavisit。Shouldthereaderfeelanycuriosityaboutit，Icanwhisperthenameinhisear。
Towardstheninthortenthdayeveryoneinthearmyknewandlikedme，andIwasexpectingthepassport，whichcouldnotbedelayedmuchlonger。Iwasalmostfree，andIwouldoftenwalkaboutevenoutofsightofthesentinel。Theywerequiterightnottofearmyrunningaway，andIshouldhavebeenwrongifIhadthoughtofescaping，butthemostsingularadventureofmylifehappenedtomethen，andmostunexpectedly。
Itwasaboutsixinthemorning。Iwastakingawalkwithinonehundredyardsofthesentinel，whenanofficerarrivedandalightedfromhishorse，threwthebridleontheneckofhissteed，andwalkedoff。Admiringthedocilityofthehorse，standingtherelikeafaithfulservanttowhomhismasterhasgivenorderstowaitforhimIgotuptohim，andwithoutanypurposeIgetholdofthebridle，putmyfootinthestirrup，andfindmyselfinthesaddle。Iwasonhorsebackforthefirsttimeinmylife。IdonotknowwhetherI
touchedthehorsewithmycaneorwithmyheels，butsuddenlytheanimalstartsatfullspeed。Myrightfoothavingslippedoutofthestirrup，Ipressagainstthehorsewithmyheels，and，feelingthepressure，itgallopsfasterandfaster，forIdidnotknowhowtocheckit。Atthelastadvancedpostthesentinelscallouttometostop；butIcannotobeytheorder，andthehorsecarryingmeawayfasterthanever，Ihearthewhizzingofafewmusketballs，thenaturalconsequenceofmy，involuntarydisobedience。Atlast，whenI
reachthefirstadvancedpicketoftheAustrians，thehorseisstopped，andIgetoffhisbackthankingGod。
AnofficerofHussarsaskswhereIamrunningsofast，andmytongue，quickerthanmythought，answerswithoutanyprivityonmypart，thatIcanrendernoaccountbuttoPrinceLobkowitz，commander—in—chiefofthearmy，whoseheadquarterswereatRimini。Hearingmyanswer，theofficergaveordersfortwoHussarstogetonhorseback，afreshoneisgivenme，andIamtakenatfullgalloptoRimini，wheretheofficeronguardhasmeescortedatoncetotheprince。
Ifindhishighnessalone，andItellhimcandidlywhathasjusthappenedtome。Mystorymakeshimlaugh，althoughheobservesthatitishardlycredible。
\"Iought，\"hesays，\"toputyouunderarrest，butIamwillingtosaveyouthatunpleasantness。\"WiththathecalledoneofhisofficersandorderedhimtoescortmethroughtheCesenaGate。\"Thenyoucangowhereveryouplease，\"headded，turningroundtome；\"buttakecarenottoagainenterthelinesofmyarmywithoutapassport，oryoumightfarebadly。\"
Iaskedhimtoletmehavethehorseagain，butheansweredthattheanimaldidnotbelongtome。IforgottoaskhimtosendmebacktotheplaceIhadcomefrom，andIregrettedit；butafterallperhapsIdidforthebest。
Theofficerwhoaccompaniedmeaskedme，aswewerepassingacoffee—
house，whetherIwouldliketotakesomechocolate，andwewentin。
AtthatmomentIsawPetroniogoingby，andavailingmyselfofamomentwhentheofficerwastalkingtosomeone，Itoldhimnottoappeartobeacquaintedwithme，buttotellmewherehelived。Whenwehadtakenourchocolatetheofficerpaidandwewentout。Alongtheroadwekeptuptheconversation；hetoldmehisname，Igavehimmine，andIexplainedhowIfoundmyselfinRimini。HeaskedmewhetherIhadnotremainedsometimeinAncona；Iansweredintheaffirmative，andhesmiledandsaidIcouldgetapassportinBologna，returntoRiminiandtoPesarowithoutanyfear，andrecovermytrunkbypayingtheofficerforthehorsehehadlost。Wereachedthegate，hewishedmeapleasantjourney，andwepartedcompany。
Ifoundmyselffree，withgoldandjewels，butwithoutmytrunk。
TheresewasinRimini，andIcouldnotenterthatcity。ImadeupmymindtogotoBolognaasquicklyaspossibleinordertogetapassport，andtoreturntoPesaro，whereIshouldfindmypassportfromRome，forIcouldnotmakeupmymindtolosemytrunk，andI
didnotwanttobeseparatedfromThereseuntiltheendofherengagementwiththemanageroftheRiminiTheatre。
Itwasraining；Ihadsilkstockingson，andIlongedforacarriage。
Itookshelterundertheportalofachurch，andturnedmyfineovercoatinsideout，soasnottolooklikeanabbe。Atthatmomentapeasanthappenedtocomealong，andIaskedhimifacarriagecouldbehadtodrivemetoCesena。\"Ihaveone，sir，\"hesaid，\"butI
livehalfaleaguefromhere。\"
\"Goandgetit，Iwillwaitforyouhere。\"
WhileIwaswaitingforthereturnofthepeasantwithhisvehicle，somefortymulesladenwithprovisionscamealongtheroadtowardsRimini。Itwasstillrainingfast，andthemulespassingclosebyme，Iplacedmyhandmechanicallyupontheneckofoneofthem，andfollowingtheslowpaceoftheanimalsIre—enteredRiminiwithouttheslightestnoticebeingtakenofme，evenbythedriversofthemules。IgavesomemoneytothefirststreeturchinImet，andhetookmetoTherese’shouse。
Withmyhairfastenedunderanight—cap，myhatpulleddownovermyface，andmyfinecaneconcealedundermycoat，Ididnotlookaveryelegantfigure。IenquiredforBellino’smother，andthemistressofthehousetookmetoaroomwhereIfoundallthefamily，andThereseinawoman’sdress。Ihadreckoneduponsurmisingthem，butPetroniohadtoldthemofourmeeting，andtheywereexpectingme。Igaveafullaccountofmyadventures，butTherese，frightenedatthedangerthatthreatenedme，andinspiteofherlove，toldmethatitwasabsolutelynecessaryformetogotoBologna，asIhadbeenadvisedbyM。Vais，theofficer。
\"Iknowhim，\"shesaid，\"andheisaworthyman，buthecomeshereeveryevening，andyoumustconcealyourself。\"
Itwasonlyeighto’clockinthemorning；wehadthewholedaybeforeus，andeveryonepromisedtobediscreet。IallayedTherese’sanxietybytellingherthatIcouldeasilycontrivetoleavethecitywithoutbeingobserved。
Theresetookmetoherownroom，whereshetoldmethatshehadmetthemanagerofthetheatreonherarrivalinRimini，andthathehadtakenheratoncetotheapartmentsengagedforthefamily。Shehadinformedhimthatshewasawoman，andthatshehadmadeuphermindnottoappearasacastratoanymore；hehadexpressedhimselfdelightedatsuchnews，becausewomencouldappearonthestageatRimini，whichwasnotunderthesamelegateasAncona。Sheaddedthatherengagementwouldbeatanendbythe1stofMay，andthatshewouldmeetmewhereveritwouldbeagreeabletometowaitforher。
\"AssoonasIcangetapassport，\"Isaid，\"thereisnothingtohindermefromremainingnearyouuntiltheendofyourengagement。
ButasM。Vaiscallsuponyou，tellmewhetheryouhaveinformedhimofmyhavingspentafewdaysinAncona？\"
\"Idid，andIeventoldhimthatyouhadbeenarrestedbecauseyouhadlostyourpassport。\"
Iunderstoodwhytheofficerhadsmiledashewastalkingwithme。
AftermyconversationwithTherese，IreceivedthecomplimentsofthemotherandoftheyoungsisterswhoappearedtomelesscheerfulandlessfreethantheyhadbeeninAncona。TheyfeltthatBellino，transformedintoTherese，wastooformidablearival。Ilistenedpatientlytoallthecomplaintsofthemotherwhomaintainedthat，ingivingupthecharacterofcastrato，Theresehadbiddenadieutofortune，becauseshemighthaveearnedathousandsequinsayearinRome。
\"InRome，mygoodwoman，\"Isaid，\"thefalseBellinowouldhavebeenfoundout，andTheresewouldhavebeenconsignedtoamiserableconventforwhichshewasnevermade。\"
Notwithstandingthedangerofmyposition，Ispentthewholeofthedayalonewithmybelovedmistress，anditseemedthateverymomentgaveherfreshbeautiesandincreasedmylove。Ateighto’clockintheevening，hearingsomeonecomingin，sheleftme，andIremainedinthedark，butinsuchapositionthatIcouldseeeverythingandheareveryword。TheBaronVaiscamein，andTheresegavehimherhandwiththegraceofaprettywomanandthedignityofaprincess。
Thefirstthinghetoldherwasthenewsaboutme；sheappearedtobepleased，andlistenedwithwell—feignedindifference，whenhesaidthathehadadvisedmetoreturnwithapassport。Hespentanhourwithher，andIwasthoroughlywellpleasedwithhermannersandbehaviour，whichhadbeensuchastoleavemenoroomfortheslightestfeelingofjealousy。MarinalightedhimoutandTheresereturnedtome。Wehadajoyoussuppertogether，and，asweweregettingreadytogotobed，PetroniocametoinformmethattenmuleteerswouldstartforCesenatwohoursbeforeday—break，andthathewassureIcouldleavethecitywiththemifIwouldgoandmeetthemaquarterofanhourbeforetheirdeparture，andtreatthemtosomethingtodrink。Iwasofthesameopinion，andmadeupmymindtomaketheattempt。IaskedPetroniotositupandtowakemeingoodtime。Itprovedanunnecessaryprecaution，forIwasreadybeforethetime，andleftTheresesatisfiedwithmylove，withoutanydoubtofmyconstancy，butratheranxiousastomysuccessinattemptingtoleaveRimini。Shehadsixtysequinswhichshewantedtoforcebackuponme，butIaskedherwhatopinionshewouldhaveofmeifIacceptedthem，andwesaidnomoreaboutit。
Iwenttothestable，andhavingtreatedoneofthemuleteerstosomedrinkItoldhimthatIwouldwillinglyrideoneofhismulesasfarasSarignan。
\"Youarewelcometotheride，\"saidthegoodfellow，\"butIwouldadviseyounottogetonthemuletillweareoutsidethecity，andtopassthroughthegateonfootasifyouwereoneofthedrivers。\"
ItwasexactlywhatIwanted。Petronioaccompaniedmeasfarasthegate，whereIgavehimasubstantialproofofmygratitude。Igotoutofthecitywithouttheslightestdifficulty，andleftthemuleteersatSarignan，whenceIpostedtoBologna。