Ihavenothingminebutmyself，andyetthepossessionis，inpart，defectiveandborrowed。Ifortifymyselfbothincourage，whichisthestrongestassistant，andalsoinfortune，thereinwherewithtosatisfymyself，thougheverythingelseshouldforsakeme。HippiasofElisnotonlyfurnishedhimselfwithknowledge，thathemight，atneed，cheerfullyretirefromallothercompanytoenjoytheMuses:noronlywiththeknowledgeofphilosophy，toteachhissoultobecontentedwithitself，andbravelytosubsistwithoutoutwardconveniences，whenfatewouldhaveitso;hewas，moreover，socarefulastolearntocook，toshavehimself，tomakehisownclothes，hisownshoesanddrawers，toprovideforallhisnecessitiesinhimself，andtoweanhimselffromtheassistanceofothers。Amanmorefreelyandcheerfullyenjoysborrowedconveniences，whenitisnotanenjoymentforcedandconstrainedbyneed;
andwhenhehas，inhisownwillandfortune，themeanstolivewithoutthem。Iknowmyselfverywell;but’tishardformetoimagineanysopureliberalityofanyonetowardsme，anysofrankandfreehospitality，thatwouldnotappeartomediscreditable，tyrannical，andtaintedwithreproach，ifnecessityhadreducedmetoit。Asgivingisanambitiousandauthoritativequality，soisacceptingaqualityofsubmission;
witnesstheinsultingandquarrelsomerefusalthatBajazetmadeofthepresentsthatTamerlanesenthim;andthosethatwereofferedonthepartoftheEmperorSolymantotheEmperorofCalicut，soangeredhim，thathenotonlyrudelyrejectedthem，sayingthatneitherhenoranyofhispredecessorshadeverbeenwonttotake，andthatitwastheirofficetogive;but，moreover，causedtheambassadorssentwiththegiftstobeputintoadungeon。WhenThetis，saysAristotle，flattersJupiter，whentheLacedaemoniansflattertheAthenians，theydonotputtheminmindofthegoodtheyhavedonethem，whichisalwaysodious，butofthebenefitstheyhavereceivedfromthem。SuchasIseesofrequentlyemployeveryoneintheiraffairs，andthrustthemselvesintosomuchobligation，wouldneverdoit，didtheybutrelishasIdothesweetnessofapureliberty，anddidtheybutweigh，aswise:menshould，theburdenofobligation:’tissometimes，peradventure，fullypaid，but’tisneverdissolved。’Tisamiserableslaverytoamanwholovestobeatfulllibertyinallreapects。Suchasknowme，bothaboveandbelowmeinstation，areabletosaywhethertheyhaveeverknownamanlessimportuning，soliciting，entreating，andpressinguponothersthanI。
IfIamso，andadegreebeyondallmodernexample，’tisnogreatwonder，somanypartsofmymannerscontributingtoit:alittlenaturalpride，animpatienceatbeingrefused，themoderationofmydesiresanddesigns，myincapacityforbusiness，andmymostbelovedqualities，idlenessandfreedom;byallthesetogetherIhaveconceivedamortalhatredtobeingobligedtoanyother，orbyanyotherthanmyself。Ileavenostoneunturned，todowithoutit，ratherthanemploythebountyofanotherinanylightorimportantoccasionornecessitywhatever。Myfriendsstrangelytroublemewhentheyaskmetoaskathirdperson;andIthinkitcostsmelittlelesstodisengagehimwhoisindebtedtome，bymakinguseofhim，thantoengagemyselftohimwhoowesmenothing。Theseconditionsbeingremoved，andprovidedtheyrequireofmenothingifanygreattroubleorcare（forIhavedeclaredmortalwaragainstallcare），IamveryreadytodoeveryonethebestserviceIcan。Ihavebeenverywillingtoseekoccasiontodopeopleagoodturn，andtoattachthemtome;andmethinksthereisnomoreagreeableemploymentforourmeans。
ButIhaveyetmoreavoidedreceivingthansoughtoccasionsofgiving，andmoreover，accordingtoAristotle，itismoreeasy。，Myfortunehasallowedmebutlittletodoothersgoodwithal，andthelittleitcanafford，isputintoaprettyclosehand。HadIbeenbornagreatperson，Ishouldhavebeenambitioustohavemademyselfbeloved，nottomakemyselffearedoradmired:shallImoreplainlyexpressit？Ishouldmorehaveendeavouredtopleasethantoprofitothers。Cyrusverywisely，andbythemouthofagreatcaptain，andstillgreaterphilosopher，prefershisbountyandbenefitsmuchbeforehisvalourandwarlikeconquests;
andtheelderScipio，whereverhewouldraisehimselfinesteem，setsahighervalueuponhisaffabilityandhumanity，thanonhisprowessandvictories，andhasalwaysthisglorioussayinginhismouth:\"Thathehasgivenhisenemiesasmuchoccasiontolovehimashisfriends。\"Iwillthensay，thatifamanmust，ofnecessity，owesomething，itoughttobebyamorelegitimatetitlethanthatwhereofIamspeaking，towhichthenecessityofthismiserablewarcompelsme;andnotinsogreatadebtasthatofmytotalpreservationbothoflifeandfortune:itoverwhelmsme。
IhaveathousandtimesgonetobedinmyownhousewithanapprehensionthatIshouldbebetrayedandmurderedthatverynight;compoundingwithfortune，thatitmightbewithoutterrorandwithquickdespatch;and，aftermyPaternoster，Ihavecriedout，\"Impiushaectamcultanovaliamileshabebit！\"
[\"Shallimpioussoldiershavethesenew—ploughedgrounds？\"
——Virgil，Ecl。，i。71。]
Whatremedy？’tistheplaceofmybirth，andthatofmostofmyancestors;theyhaveherefixedtheiraffectionandname。Weinureourselvestowhateverweareaccustomedto;andinsomiserableaconditionasoursis，customisagreatbountyofnature，whichbenumbsoutsensestothesufferanceofmanyevils。Acivilwarhasthiswithitworsethanotherwarshave，tomakeusstandsentinelsinourownhouses。
\"Quammiserum，portavitammuroquetueri，Vixquesuaetutumviribusessedomus！\"
[\"’Tismiserabletoprotectone’slifebydoorsandwalls，andtobescarcelysafeinone’sownhouse。\"——Ovid，Trist。，iv。I，69。]
’Tisagrievousextremityforamantobejostledeveninhisownhouseanddomesticrepose。ThecountrywhereIliveisalwaysthefirstinarmsandthelastthatlaysthemdown，andwherethereisneveranabsolutepeace:
\"Tuncquoque，cumpaxest，trepidantformidinebelli……
QuotiesRomamfortunalacessit;
Haciterestbellis……Melius，Fortuna，dedissesOrbesubEoosedem，gelidaquesubArcto，Errantesquedomos。\"
[\"Evenwhenthere’speace，thereisherestillthedearofwarwhenFortunetroublespeace，thisiseverthewaybywhichwarpasses。\"
——Ovid，Trist。，iii。10，67。]
[\"WemighthavelivedhappierintheremoteEastorintheicyNorth，oramongthewanderingtribes。\"——Lucan，i。255。]
Isometimesextractthemeanstofortifymyselfagainsttheseconsiderationsfromindifferenceandindolence，which，insomesort，bringusontoresolution。Itoftenbefallsmetoimagineandexpectmortaldangerswithakindofdelight:Istupidlyplungemyselfheadlongintodeath，withoutconsideringortakingaviewofit，asintoadeepandobscureabysswhichswallowsmeupatoneleap，andinvolvesmeinaninstantinaprofoundsleep，withoutanysenseofpain。Andintheseshortandviolentdeaths，theconsequencethatIforeseeadministersmoreconsolationtomethantheeffectdoesfear。Theysay，thataslifeisnotbetterforbeinglong，sodeathisbetterforbeingnotlong。Idonotsomuchevadebeingdead，asIenterintoconfidencewithdying。I
wrapandshroudmyselfintothestormthatistoblindandcarrymeawaywiththefuryofasuddenandinsensibleattack。Moreover，ifitshouldfalloutthat，assomegardenerssay，rosesandvioletsspringmoreodoriferousneargarlicandonions，byreasonthatthelastsuckandimbibealltheillodouroftheearth;so，ifthesedepravednaturesshouldalsoattractallthemalignityofmyairandclimate，andrenderitsomuchbetterandpurerbytheirvicinity，Ishouldnotloseall。
Thatcannotbe:buttheremaybesomethinginthis，thatgoodnessismorebeautifulandattractivewhenitisrare;andthatcontrarietyanddiversityfortifyandconsolidatewell—doingwithinitself，andinflameitbythejealousyofoppositionandbyglory。Thievesandrobbers，oftheirspecialfavour，havenoparticularspiteatme;nomorehaveItothem:Ishouldhavemyhandstoofull。Likeconsciencesarelodgedunderseveralsortsofrobes;likecruelty，disloyalty，rapine;andsomuchtheworse，andmorefalsely，whenthemoresecureandconcealedundercolourofthelaws。Ilesshateanopenprofessedinjurythanonethatistreacherous;anenemyinarms，thananenemyinagown。Ourfeverhasseizeduponabodythatisnotmuchtheworseforit;therewasfirebefore，andnow’tisbrokenoutintoaflame;thenoiseisgreater，nottheevil。Iordinarilyanswersuchasaskmethereasonofmytravels，\"ThatIknowverywellwhatIflyfrom，butnotwhatIseek。\"Iftheytellmethattheremaybeaslittlesoundnessamongstforeigners，andthattheirmannersarenobetterthanours:Ifirstreply，thatitishardtobebelieved;
\"Tammulta:scelerumfacies！\"
[\"Therearesomanyformsofcrime。\"——Virgil，Georg。，i。506。]
secondly，thatitisalwaysgaintochangeanillconditionforonethatisuncertain;andthattheillsofothersoughtnottoafflictussomuchasourown。
Iwillnothereomit，thatInevermutinysomuchagainstFrance，thatI
amnotperfectlyfriendswithParis;thatcityhaseverhadmyheartfrommyinfancy，andithasfallenout，asofexcellentthings，thatthemorebeautifulcitiesIhaveseensince，themorethebeautyofthisstillwinsuponmyaffection。Iloveherforherself，andmoreinherownnativebeing，thaninallthepompofforeignandacquiredembellishments。Ilovehertenderly，eventoherwartsandblemishes。
IamaFrenchmanonlythroughthisgreatcity，greatinpeople，greatinthefelicityofhersituation;but，aboveall，greatandincomparableinvarietyanddiversityofcommodities:thegloryofFrance，andoneofthemostnobleornamentsoftheworld。MayGoddriveourdivisionsfarfromher。Entireandunited，Ithinkhersufficientlydefendedfromallotherviolences。Igivehercautionthat，ofallsortsofpeople，thosewillbetheworstthatshallsetherindiscord;Ihavenofearforher，butofherself，and，certainly，Ihaveasmuchfearforherasforanyotherpartofthekingdom。Whilstsheshallcontinue，Ishallneverwantaretreat，whereImaystandatbay，sufficienttomakemeamendsforpartingwithanyotherretreat。
NotbecauseSocrateshassaidso，butbecauseitisintruthmyownhumour，andperadventurenotwithoutsomeexcess，Ilookuponallmenasmycompatriots，andembraceaPolanderasaFrenchman，preferringtheuniversalandcommontietoallnationaltieswhatever。Iamnotmuchtakenwiththesweetnessofanativeair:acquaintancewhollynewandwhollymyownappeartomefullasgoodastheothercommonandfortuitousoneswithFourneighbours:friendshipsthatarepurelyofourownacquiringordinarilycarryitabovethosetowhichthecommunicationofclimateorofbloodobligeus。Naturehasplacedusintheworldfreeandunbound;weimprisonourselvesincertainstraits，likethekingsofPersia，whoobligedthemselvestodrinknootherwaterbutthatoftheriverChoaspes，foolishlyquittedclaimtotheirrightinallotherstreams，and，sofarasconcernedthemselves，driedupalltheotherriversoftheworld。WhatSocratesdidtowardshisend，tolookuponasentenceofbanishmentasworsethanasentenceofdeathagainsthim，I
shall，Ithink，neverbeeithersodecrepidorsostrictlyhabituatedtomyowncountrytobeofthatopinion。ThesecelestialliveshaveimagesenoughthatIembracemorebyesteemthanaffection;andtheyhavesomealsosoelevatedandextraordinarythatIcannotembracethemsomuchasbyesteem，forasmuchasIcannotconceivethem。Thatfancywassingularinamanwhothoughtthewholeworldhiscity;itistruethathedisdainedtravel，andhadhardlyeversethisfootoutoftheAtticterritories。Whatsayyoutohiscomplaintofthemoneyhisfriendsofferedtosavehislife，andthatherefusedtocomeoutofprisonbythemediationofothers，inordernottodisobeythelawsinatimewhentheywereotherwisesocorrupt？Theseexamplesareofthefirstkindforme;ofthesecond，thereareothersthatIcouldfindoutinthesameperson:manyoftheserareexamplessurpasstheforceofmyaction，butsomeofthem，moreover，surpasstheforceofmyjudgment。
Besidesthesereasons，travelisinmyopinionaveryprofitableexercise;thesoulistherecontinuallyemployedinobservingnewandunknownthings，andIdonotknow，asIhaveoftensaidabetterschoolwhereintomodellifethanbyincessantlyexposingtoitthediversityofsomanyotherlives，fancies，andusances，andbymakingitrelishaperpetualvarietyofformsofhumannature。Thebodyis，therein，neitheridlenoroverwrought;andthatmoderateagitationputsitinbreath。Icankeeponhorseback，tormentedwiththestoneasIam，withoutalightingorbeingweary，eightortenhourstogether:
\"Viresultrasorternquesenectae。\"
[\"Beyondthestrengthandlotofage。\"——AEneid，vi。114。]
Noseasonisenemytomebuttheparchingheatofascorchingsun;fortheumbrellasmadeuseofinItaly，eversincethetimeoftheancientRomans，moreburdenaman’sarmthantheyrelievehishead。IwouldfainknowhowitwasthatthePersians，solongagoandintheinfancyofluxury，madeventilatorswheretheywantedthem，andplantedshades，asXenophonreportstheydid。Iloverain，andtodabbleinthedirt，aswellasducksdo。Thechangeofairandclimatenevertouchesme;everyskyisalike;IamonlytroubledwithinwardalterationswhichIbreedwithinmyself，andthosearenotsofrequentintravel。Iamhardtobegotout，butbeingonceupontheroad，Iholdoutaswellasthebest。
Itakeasmuchpainsinlittleasingreatattempts，andamassolicitoustoequipmyselfforashortjourney，ifbuttovisitaneighbour，asforthelongestvoyage。IhavelearnedtotravelaftertheSpanishfashion，andtomakebutonestageofagreatmanymiles;andinexcessiveheatsIalwaystravelbynight，fromsunsettosunrise。Theothermethodofbaitingbytheway，inhasteandhurrytogobbleupadinner，is，especiallyinshortdays，veryinconvenient。Myhorsesperformthebetter;neveranyhorsetiredundermethatwasabletoholdoutthefirstday’sjourney。IwaterthemateverybrookImeet，andhaveonlyacaretheyhavesomuchwaytogobeforeIcometomyinn，aswilldigestthewaterintheirbellies。Myunwillingnesstoriseinamorninggivesmyservantsleisuretodineattheireasebeforetheysetout;formyownpart，Inevereattoolate;myappetitecomestomeineating，andnotelse;Iamneverhungrybutattable。
Someofmyfriendsblamemeforcontinuingthistravellinghumour，beingmarriedandold。Buttheyareoutin’t;’tisthebesttimetoleaveaman’shouse，whenhehasputitintoawayofcontinuingwithouthim，andsettledsuchorderascorrespondswithitsformergovernment。’Tismuchgreaterimprudencetoabandonittoalessfaithfulhousekeeper，andwhowillbelesssolicitoustolookafteryouraffairs。
Themostusefulandhonourableknowledgeandemploymentforthemotherofafamilyisthescienceofgoodhousewifery。Iseesomethatarecovetousindeed，butveryfewthataregoodmanagers。’Tisthesupremequalityofawoman，whichamanoughttoseekbeforeanyother，astheonlydowrythatmustruinorpreserveourhouses。Letmensaywhattheywill，accordingtotheexperienceIhavelearned，Irequireinmarriedwomentheeconomicalvirtueaboveallothervirtues;Iputmywifeto’t，asaconcernofherown，leavingher，bymyabsence，thewholegovernmentofmyaffairs。Isee，andamvexedtosee，inseveralfamiliesIknow，Monsieuraboutnooncomehomealljadedandruffledabouthisaffairs，whenMadameisstilldressingherhairandtrickingupherself，forsooth，inhercloset:thisisforqueenstodo，andthat’saquestion，too:’tisridiculousandunjustthatthelazinessofourwivesshouldbemaintainedwithoursweatandlabour。Noman，sofarasinmelie，shallhaveaclearer，amorequietandfreefruitionofhisestatethanI。Ifthehusbandbringmatter，natureherselfwillthatthewifefindtheform。
Astothedutiesofconjugalfriendship，thatsomethinktobeimpairedbytheseabsences，Iamquiteofanother—opinion。Itis，onthecontrary，anintelligencethateasilycoolsbyatoofrequentandassiduouscompanionship。Everystrangewomanappearscharming，andweallfindbyexperiencethatbeingcontinuallytogetherisnotsopleasingastopartforatimeandmeetagain。Theseinterruptionsfillmewithfreshaffectiontowardsmyfamily，andrendermyhousemorepleasanttome。Changewarmsmyappetitetotheoneandthentotheother。Iknowthatthearmsoffriendshiparelongenoughtoreachfromtheoneendoftheworldtotheother，andespeciallythis，wherethereisacontinualcommunicationofofficesthatrousetheobligationandremembrance。TheStoicssaythatthereissogreatconnectionandrelationamongstthesages，thathewhodinesinFrancenourisheshiscompanioninEgypt;andthatwhoeverdoesbutholdouthisfinger，inwhatpartoftheworldsoever，allthesagesuponthehabitableearthfeelthemselvesassistedbyit。Fruitionandpossessionprincipallyappertaintotheimagination;
itmoreferventlyandconstantlyembraceswhatitisinquestof，thanwhatweholdinourarms。Castupyourdailyamusements;youwillfindthatyouaremostabsentfromyourfriendwhenheispresentwithyou;
hispresencerelaxesyourattention，andgivesyoulibertytoabsentyourselfateveryturnanduponeveryoccasion。WhenIamawayatRome，Ikeepandgovernmyhouse，andtheconveniencesIthereleft;seemywallsrise，mytreesshoot，andmyrevenueincreaseordecrease，verynearaswellaswhenIamthere:
\"Anteoculoserratdomus，erratformalocorum。\"
[\"Myhouseandtheformsofplacesfloatbeforemyeyes\"
——Ovid，Trist，iii。4，57。]
Ifweenjoynothingbutwhatwetouch，wemaysayfarewelltothemoneyinourchests，andtooursonswhentheyaregoneahunting。Wewillhavethemnearertous:isthegarden，orhalfaday’sjourneyfromhome，far？Whatistenleagues:farornear？Ifnear，whatiseleven，twelve，orthirteen，andsobydegrees。Inearnest，iftherebeawomanwhocantellherhusbandwhatstependsthenearandwhatstepbeginstheremote，Iwouldadvisehertostopbetween;
\"Excludatjurgiafinis……
Utorpermisso;caudaequepilosutequinaePaulatimvello，etdemounum，demoetiamunumDumcadatelususrationeruentisacervi:\"
[\"Lettheendshutoutalldisputes……Iusewhatispermitted;Ipluckoutthehairsofthehorse’stailonebyone;
whileIthusoutwitmyopponent。\"——Horace，Ep。，ii，I，38，45]
andletthemboldlycallphilosophytotheirassistance;inwhoseteethitmaybecastthat，seeingitneitherdiscernstheonenortheotherendofthejoint，betwixtthetoomuchandthelittle，thelongandtheshort，thelightandtheheavy，thenearandtheremote;thatseeingitdiscoversneitherthebeginningnortheend，itmustneedsjudgeveryuncertainlyofthemiddle:
\"Rerumnaturanullamnobisdeditcognitionemfinium。\"
[\"Naturehasgreentousnoknowledgeoftheendofthings。\"
——Cicero，Acad。，ii。29。]
Aretheynotstillwivesandfriendstothedeadwhoarenotattheendofthisbutintheotherworld？Weembracenotonlytheabsent，butthosewhohavebeen，andthosewhoarenotyet。Wedonotpromiseinmarriagetobecontinuallytwistedandlinkedtogether，likesomelittleanimalsthatwesee，or，likethebewitchedfolksofKarenty，——[Karantia，atownintheisleofRugen。SeeSaxo—Grammaticus，Hist。ofDenmark，bookxiv。]——tiedtogetherlikedogs;andawifeoughtnottobesogreedilyenamouredofherhusband’sforeparts，thatshecannotenduretoseehimturnhisback，ifoccasionbe。Butmaynotthissayingofthatexcellentpainterofwoman’shumoursbehereintroduced，toshowthereasonoftheircomplaints？
\"Uxor，sicesses，auttoamarecogitat，Autteteamari，autpotare，autanimoobsequi;
Ettibibeneessesoli，cumsibisitmale;\"
[\"Yourwife，ifyouloiter，thinksthatyouloveorarebeloved;orthatyouaredrinkingorfollowingyourinclination;andthatitiswellforyouwhenitisillforher（allthepleasureisyoursandhersallthecare）。\"
——Terence，Adelph。，acti。，sc。I，v。7。]
ormayitnotbe，thatofitselfoppositionandcontradictionentertainandnourishthem，andthattheysufficientlyaccommodatethemselves，providedtheyincommodateyou？
Intruefriendship，whereinIamperfect，Imoregivemyselftomyfriend，thanIendeavourtoattracthimtome。Iamnotonlybetterpleasedindoinghimservicethanifheconferredabenefituponme，but，moreover，hadratherheshoulddohimselfgoodthanme，andhemostobligesmewhenhedoesso;andifabsencebeeithermorepleasantorconvenientforhim，’tisalsomoreacceptabletomethanhispresence;
neitherisitproperlyabsence，whenwecanwritetooneanother:Ihavesometimesmadegooduseofourseparationfromoneanother:webetterfilledandfurtherextendedthepossessionoflifeinbeingparted。
He——[LaBoetie。]——lived，enjoyed，andsawforme，andIforhim，asfullyasifhehadhimselfbeenthere;onepartofusremainedidle，andweweretoomuchblendedinoneanotherwhenweweretogether;thedistanceofplacerenderedtheconjunctionofourwillsmorerich。Thisinsatiabledesireofpersonalpresencealittleimpliesweaknessinthefruitionofsouls。
Astowhatconcernsage，whichisallegedagainstme，’tisquitecontrary;’tisforyouthtosubjectitselftocommonopinions，andtocurbitselftopleaseothers;ithaswherewithaltopleaseboththepeopleanditself;wehavebuttoomuchadotopleaseourselvesalone。
Asnaturalconveniencesfail，letussupplythemwiththosethatareartificial。’Tisinjusticetoexcuseyouthforpursuingitspleasures，andtoforbidoldmentoseekthem。Whenyoung，Iconcealedmywantonpassionswithprudence;nowIamold，Ichaseawaymelancholybydebauch。
Andthusdotheplatoniclawsforbidmentotraveltillfortyorfiftyyearsold，sothattravelmightbemoreusefulandinstructiveinsomatureanage。IshouldsoonersubscribetothesecondarticleofthesameLaws，whichforbidsitafterthreescore。
\"But，atsuchanage，youwillneverreturnfromsolongajourney。\"
WhatcareIforthat？Ineitherundertakeittoreturn，nortofinishitmybusinessisonlytokeepmyselfinmotion，whilstmotionpleasesme;
Ionlywalkforthewalk’ssake。Theywhorunafterabenefitorahare，runnot;theyonlyrunwhorunatbase，andtoexercisetheirrunning。
Mydesignisdivisiblethroughout:itisnotgroundeduponanygreathopes:everydayconcludesmyexpectation:andthejourneyofmylifeiscarriedonafterthesamemanner。AndyetIhaveseenplacesenoughagreatwayoff，whereIcouldhavewishedtohavestayed。Andwhynot，ifChrysippus，Cleanthes，Diogenes，Zeno，Antipater，somanysagesofthesourestsect，readilyabandonedtheircountry，withoutoccasionofcomplaint，andonlyfortheenjoymentofanotherair。Inearnest，thatwhichmostdispleasesmeinallmytravelsis，thatIcannotresolvetosettlemyabodewhereIshouldbestlike，butthatImustalwaysproposetomyselftoreturn，toaccommodatemyselftothecommonhumour。
IfIfearedtodieinanyotherplacethanthatofmybirth;ifIthoughtIshoulddiemoreuneasilyremotefrommyownfamily，IshouldhardlygooutofFrance;Ishouldnot，withoutfear，stepoutofmyparish;Ifeeldeathalwayspinchingmebythethroatorbytheback。ButIamotherwiseconstituted;’tisinallplacesaliketome。Yet，mightIhavemychoice，IthinkIshouldratherchoosetodieonhorsebackthaninbed;outofmyownhouse，andfarfrommyownpeople。Thereismoreheartbreakingthanconsolationintakingleaveofone’sfriends;Iamwillingtoomitthatcivility，forthat，ofalltheofficesoffriendship，istheonlyonethatisunpleasant;andIcould，withallmyheart，dispensewiththatgreatandeternalfarewell。Iftherebeanyconvenienceinsomanystanders—by，itbringsanhundredinconveniencesalongwithit。Ihaveseenmanydyingmiserablysurroundedwithallthistrain:’tisacrowdthatchokesthem。’Tisagainstduty，andisatestimonyoflittlekindnessandlittlecare，topermityoutodieinrepose;onetormentsyoureyes，anotheryourears，anotheryourtongue;
youhaveneithersensenormemberthatisnotworriedbythem。Yourheartiswoundedwithcompassiontohearthemourningoffriends，and，perhapswithanger，tohearthecounterfeitcondolingsofpretenders。
Whoeverhasbeendelicateandsensitive，whenwell，ismuchmoresowhenill。Insuchanecessity，agentlehandisrequired，accommodatedtohissentiment，toscratchhimjustintheplacewhereheitches，otherwisescratchhimnotatall。Ifwestandinneedofawisewoman——[midwife，Fr。’sagefemme’。]——tobringusintotheworld，wehavemuchmoreneedofastillwisermantohelpusoutofit。Suchaone，andafriendtoboot，amanoughttopurchaseatanycostforsuchanoccasion。Iamnotyetarrivedtothatpitchofdisdainfulvigourthatisfortifiedinitself，thatnothingcanassistordisturb;Iamofalowerform;I
endeavourtohidemyself，andtoescapefromthispassage，notbyfear，butbyart。Idonotintendinthisactofdyingtomakeproofandshowofmyconstancy。ForwhomshouldIdoit？alltherightandinterestI
haveinreputationwillthencease。Icontentmyselfwithadeathinvolvedwithinitself，quiet，solitary，andallmyown，suitabletomyretiredandprivatelife;quitecontrarytotheRomansuperstition，whereamanwaslookeduponasunhappywhodiedwithoutspeaking，andwhohadnothisnearestrelationstoclosehiseyes。Ihaveenoughtodotocomfortmyself，withouthavingtoconsoleothers;thoughtsenoughinmyhead，nottoneedthatcircumstancesshouldpossessmewithnew;andmatterenoughtooccupymewithoutborrowing。Thisaffairisoutofthepartofsociety;’tistheactofonesingleperson。Letusliveandbemerryamongstourfriends;letusgorepineanddieamongststrangers;amanmayfindthose，forhismoney，whowillshifthispillowandrubhisfeet，andwilltroublehimnomorethanhewouldhavethem;whowillpresenttohimanindifferentcountenance，andsufferhimtogovernhimself，andtocomplainaccordingtohisownmethod。
Iweanmyselfdailybymyreasonfromthischildishandinhumanhumour，ofdesiringbyoursufferingstomovethecompassionandmourningofourfriends:westretchourownincommoditiesbeyondtheirjustextentwhenweextracttearsfromothers;andtheconstancywhichwecommendineveryoneinsupportinghisadversefortune，weaccuseandreproachinourfriendswhentheevilisourown;wearenotsatisfiedthattheyshouldbesensibleofourconditiononly，unlesstheybe，moreover，afflicted。
Amanshoulddiffusejoy，but，asmuchashecan，smothergrief。Hewhomakeshimselflamentedwithoutreasonisamannottobelamentedwhenthereshallberealcause:tobealwayscomplainingisthewaynevertobelamented;bymakinghimselfalwaysinsopitifulataking，heisnevercommiseratedbyany。Hewhomakeshimselfoutdeadwhenheisalive，issubjecttobethoughtlivingwhenheisdying。Ihaveseensomewhohavetakenitillwhentheyhavebeentoldthattheylookedwell，andthattheirpulsewasgood;restraintheirsmiles，becausetheybetrayedarecovery，andbeangry，attheirhealthbecauseitwasnottobelamented:and，whichisagreatdealmore，thesewerenotwomen。
Idescribemyinfirmities，suchastheyreallyare，atmost，andavoidallexpressionsofevilprognosticandcomposedexclamations。Ifnotmirth，atleastatemperatecountenanceinthestanders—by，isproperinthepresenceofawisesickman:hedoesnotquarrelwithhealth，for，seeinghimselfinacontrarycondition，heispleasedtocontemplateitsoundandentireinothers，andatleasttoenjoyitforcompany:hedoesnot，forfeelinghimselfmeltaway，abandonalllivingthoughts，noravoidordinarydiscourse。IwouldstudysicknesswhilstIamwell;whenithasseizedme，itwillmakeitsimpressionrealenough，withoutthehelpofmyimagination。Weprepareourselvesbeforehandforthejourneysweundertake，andresolveuponthem;weleavetheappointmentofthehourwhentotakehorsetothecompany，andintheirfavourdeferit。
Ifindthisunexpectedadvantageinthepublicationofmymanners，thatitinsomesortservesmeforarule。Ihave，attimes，someconsiderationofnotbetrayingthehistoryofmylife:thispublicdeclarationobligesmetokeepmyway，andnottogivethelietotheimageIhavedrawnofmyqualities，commonlylessdeformedandcontradictorythanconsistswiththemalignityandinfirmityofthejudgmentsofthisage。Theuniformityandsimplicityofmymannersproduceafaceofeasyinterpretation;butbecausethefashionisalittlenewandnotinuse，itgivestoogreatopportunitytoslander。
Yetsoitis，thatwhoeverwouldfairlyassailme，IthinkIsosufficientlyassisthispurposeinmyknownandavowedimperfections，thathemaythatwaysatisfyhisill—naturewithoutfightingwiththewind。IfImyself，toanticipateaccusationanddiscovery，confessenoughtofrustratehismalice，asheconceives，’tisbutreasonthathemakeuseofhisrightofamplification，andtowire—drawmyvicesasfarashecan;attackhasitsrightsbeyondjustice;andlethimmaketherootsofthoseerrorsIhavelaidopentohimshootupintotrees:lethimmakehisuse，notonlyofthoseIamreallyaffectedwith，butalsoofthosethatonlythreatenme;injuriousvices，bothinqualityandnumber;lethimcudgelmethatway。IshouldwillinglyfollowtheexampleofthephilosopherBion:Antigonusbeingabouttoreproachhimwiththemeannessofhisbirth，hepresentlycuthimshortwiththisdeclaration:\"Iam，\"saidhe，\"thesonofaslave，abutcher，andbranded，andofastrumpetmyfathermarriedinthelowestofhisfortune;bothofthemwerewhippedforoffencestheyhadcommitted。Anoratorboughtme，whenachild，andfindingmeaprettyandhopefulboy，bredmeup，andwhenhediedleftmeallhisestate，whichIhavetransportedintothiscityofAthens，andheresettledmyselftothestudyofphilosophy。Letthehistoriansnevertroublethemselveswithinquiringaboutme:Iwilltellthemaboutit。\"Afreeandgenerousconfessionenervatesreproachanddisarmsslander。Soitisthat，onethingwithanother，Ifancymenasoftencommendasundervaluemebeyondreason;as，methinksalso，frommychildhood，inrankanddegreeofhonour，theyhavegivenmeaplaceratherabovethanbelowmyright。
Ishouldfindmyselfmoreateaseinacountrywherethesedegreeswereeitherregulatedornotregarded。Amongstmen，whenanaltercationabouttheprecedenceeitherofwalkingorsittingexceedsthreereplies，’tisreputeduncivil。Ineverstickatgivingortakingplaceoutofrule，toavoidthetroubleofsuchceremony;andneveranymanhadamindtogobeforeme，butIpermittedhimtodoit。
BesidesthisprofitImakeofwritingofmyself，Ihavealsohopedforthisotheradvantage，thatifitshouldfalloutthatmyhumourshouldpleaseorjumpwiththoseofsomehonestmanbeforeIdie，hewouldthendesireandseektobeacquaintedwithme。Ihavegivenhimagreatdealofmade—way;forallthathecouldhave，inmanyyears，acquiredbyclosefamiliarity，hehasseeninthreedaysinthismemorial，andmoresurelyandexactly。Apleasantfancy:manythingsthatIwouldnotconfesstoanyoneinparticular，Idelivertothepublic，andsendmybestfriendstoabookseller’sshop，theretoinformthemselvesconcerningmymostsecretthoughts;
\"Excutiendadamuspraecordia。\"
[\"Wegiveourheartstobeexamined。\"——Persius，V。22。]
DidI，bygooddirection，knowwheretoseekanyoneproperformyconversation，Ishouldcertainlygoagreatwaytofindhimout:forthesweetnessofsuitableandagreeablecompanycannot;inmyopinion，beboughttoodear。Owhatathingisatruefriend！howtrueisthatoldsaying，thattheuseofafriendismorepleasingandnecessarythantheelementsofwaterandfire！
Toreturntomysubject:thereis，then，nogreatharmindyingprivatelyandfarfromhome;weconceiveourselvesobligedtoretirefornaturalactionslessunseemlyandlessterriblethanthis。But，moreover，suchasarereducedtospinoutalonglanguishinglife，oughtnot，perhaps，towishtotroubleagreatfamilywiththeircontinualmiseries;
thereforetheIndians，inacertainprovince，thoughtitjusttoknockamanontheheadwhenreducedtosuchanecessity;andinanotheroftheirprovinces，theyallforsookhimtoshiftforhimselfaswellashecould。
Towhomdotheynot，atlast，becometediousandinsupportable？theordinaryofficesoffifedonotgothatlength。Youteachyourbestfriendstobecruelperforce;hardeningwifeandchildrenbylonguseneithertoregardnortolamentyoursufferings。Thegroansofthestonearegrownsofamiliartomypeople，thatnobodytakesanynoticeofthem。
Andthoughweshouldextractsomepleasurefromtheirconversation（whichdoesnotalwayshappen，byreasonofthedisparityofconditions，whicheasilybegetscontemptorenvytowardanyonewhatever），isitnottoomuchtomakeabuseofthishalfalifetime？ThemoreIshouldseethemconstrainthemselvesoutofaffectiontobeserviceabletome，themoreI
shouldbesorryfortheirpains。Wehavelibertytolean，butnottolayourwholeweightuponothers，soastopropourselvesbytheirruin;likehimwhocausedlittlechildren’sthroatstobecuttomakeuseoftheirbloodforthecureofadiseasehehad，orthatother，whowascontinuallysuppliedwithtenderyounggirlstokeephisoldlimbswarminthenight，andtomixthesweetnessoftheirbreathwithhis，sourandstinking。IshouldreadilyadviseVeniceasaretreatinthisdeclineoflife。Decrepitudeisasolitaryquality。Iamsociableeventoexcess，yetIthinkitreasonablethatIshouldnowwithdrawmytroublesfromthesightoftheworldandkeepthemtomyself。Letmeshrinkanddrawupmyselfinmyownshell，likeatortoise，andlearntoseemenwithouthanginguponthem。Ishouldendangertheminsoslipperyapassage:’tistimetoturnmybacktocompany。
\"But，inthesetravels，youwillbetakenillinsomewretchedplace，wherenothingcanbehadtorelieveyou。\"Ialwayscarrymostthingsnecessaryaboutme;andbesides，wecannotevadeFortuneifsheonceresolvestoattackus。IneednothingextraordinarywhenIamsick。
Iwillnotbebeholdentomybolustodothatformewhichnaturecannot。
Attheverybeginningofmyfeversandsicknessesthatcastmedown，whilststillentire，andbutlittle，disorderedinhealth，IreconcilemyselftoAlmightyGodbythelastChristian，offices，andfindmyselfbysodoinglessoppressedandmoreeasy，andhavegot，methinks，somuchthebetterofmydisease。AndIhaveyetlessneedofanotaryorcounsellorthanofaphysician。WhatIhavenotsettledofmyaffairswhenIwasinhealth，letnooneexpectIshoulddoitwhenIamsick。
WhatIwilldofortheserviceofdeathisalwaysdone;Idurstnotsomuchasonedaydeferit;andifnothingbedone，’tisasmuchastosayeitherthatdoubthinderedmychoice（andsometimes’tiswellchosennottochoose），orthatIwaspositivelyresolvednottodoanythingatall。
Iwritemybookforfewmenandforfewyears。Haditbeenmatterofduration，Ishouldhaveputitintofirmerlanguage。Accordingtothecontinualvariationthatourshasbeensubjectto，uptothisday，whocanexpectthatitspresentformshouldbeinusefiftyyearshence？
Itslipseverydaythroughourfingers，andsinceIwasborn，itisalteredaboveone—half。Wesaythatitisnowperfect;andeveryagesaysthesameofitsown。Ishallhardlytrusttothat，solongasitvariesandchangesasitdoes。’Tisforgoodandusefulwritingstorivetittothem，anditsreputationwillgoaccordingtothefortuneofourstate。ForwhichreasonIamnotafraidtoinsertinitseveralprivatearticles，whichwillspendtheiruseamongstthementhatarenowliving，andthatconcerntheparticularknowledgeofsomewhowillseefurtherintothemthaneverycommonreader。Iwillnot，afterall，asI
oftenheardeadmenspokenof，thatmenshouldsayofme:\"Hejudged，helivedsoandso;hewouldhavedonethisorthat;couldhehavespokenwhenhewasdying，hewouldhavesaidsoorso，andhavegiventhisthingort’other;Iknewhimbetterthanany。\"Now，asmuchasdecencypermits，Iherediscovermyinclinationsandaffections;butIdomorewillinglyandfreelybywordofmouthtoanyonewhodesirestobeinformed。Soitisthatinthesememoirs，ifanyoneobserve，hewillfindthatIhaveeithertoldordesignedtotellall;whatIcannotexpress，Ipointoutwithmyfinger:
\"VerumanimosatishaecvestigiaparvasagaciSunt，perquaepossiscognoscerecaeteratute\"
[\"Bythesefootstepsasagaciousmindmanyeasilyfindallothermatters（aresufficienttoenableonetolearntherestwell。）\"
——Lucretius，i。403。]
Ileavenothingtobedesiredortobeguessedatconcerningme。Ifpeoplemustbetalkingofme，Iwouldhaveittobejustlyandtruly;I
wouldcomeagain，withallmyheart，fromtheotherworldtogiveanyonetheliewhoshouldreportmeotherthanIwas，thoughhedidittohonourme。Iperceivethatpeoplerepresent，evenlivingmen，quiteanotherthingthanwhattheyreallyare;andhadInotstoutlydefendedafriendwhomIhavelost，——[DelaBoetie。]——theywouldhavetornhimintoathousandcontrarypieces。
Toconcludetheaccountofmypoorhumours，IconfessthatinmytravelsIseldomreachmyinnbutthatitcomesintomymindtoconsiderwhetherIcouldtherebesickanddyingatmyease。Idesiretobelodgedinsomeprivatepartofthehouse，remotefromallnoise，illscents，andsmoke。Iendeavourtoflatterdeathbythesefrivolouscircumstances;
or，tosaybetter，todischargemyselffromallotherincumbrances，thatImayhavenothingtodo，norbetroubledwithanythingbutthatwhichwilllieheavyenoughuponmewithoutanyotherload。Iwouldhavemydeathshareintheeaseandconveniencesofmylife;’tisagreatpartofit，andofgreatimportance，andIhopeitwillnotinthefuturecontradictthepast。Deathhassomeformsthataremoreeasythanothers，andreceivesdiversqualities，accordingtoeveryone’sfancy。
Amongstthenaturaldeaths，thatwhichproceedsfromweaknessandstuporIthinkthemostfavourable;amongstthosethatareviolent，Icanworseenduretothinkofaprecipicethanofthefallofahousethatwillcrushmeinamoment，andofawoundwithaswordthanofaharquebusshot;IshouldratherhavechosentopoisonmyselfwithSocrates，thanstabmyselfwithCato。And，thoughit，beallone，yetmyimaginationmakesasgreatadifferenceasbetwixtdeathandlife，betwixtthrowingmyselfintoaburningfurnaceandplungingintothechannelofariver:
soidlydoesourfearmoreconcernitselfinthemeansthantheeffect。
Itisbutaninstant，’tistrue，butwithalaninstantofsuchweight，thatIwouldwillinglygiveagreatmanydaysofmylifetopassitoveraftermyownfashion。Sinceeveryone’simaginationrendersitmoreorlessterrible，andsinceeveryonehassomechoiceamongsttheseveralformsofdying，letustryalittlefurthertofindsomeonethatiswhollyclearfromalloffence。Mightnotonerenderitevenvoluptuous，liketheCommoyientesofAntonyandCleopatra？Isetasidethebraveandexemplaryeffortsproducedbyphilosophyandreligion;but，amongstmenoflittlemarktherehavebeenfoundsome，suchasPetroniusandTigellinusatRome，condemnedtodespatchthemselves，whohave，asitwere，rockeddeathasleepwiththedelicacyoftheirpreparations;theyhavemadeitslipandstealawayintheheightoftheiraccustomeddiversionsamongstgirlsandgoodfellows;notawordofconsolation，nomentionofmakingawill，noambitiousaffectationofconstancy，notalkoftheirfuturecondition;amongstsports，feastings，wit，andmirth，commonandindifferentdiscourses，music，andamorousverses。Wereitnotpossibleforustoimitatethisresolutionafteramoredecentmanner？Sincetherearedeathsthataregoodforfools，deathsgoodforthewise，letusfindoutsuchasarefitforthosewhoarebetwixtboth。
Myimaginationsuggeststomeonethatiseasy，and，sincewemustdie，tobedesired。TheRomantyrantsthoughttheydid，inamanner，giveacriminallifewhentheygavehimthechoiceofhisdeath。ButwasnotTheophrastus，thatsodelicate，somodest，andsowiseaphilosopher，compelledbyreason，whenhedurstsaythisverse，translatedbyCicero:
\"Vitamregitfortuna，nonsapientia？\"
[\"Fortune，notwisdom，swayshumanlife。\"
——Cicero，Tusc。Quaes。，V。31。]
Fortuneassiststhefacilityofthebargainofmylife，havingplaceditinsuchaconditionthatforthefutureitcanbeneitheradvantagenorhindrancetothosewhoareconcernedinme;’tisaconditionthatIwouldhaveacceptedatanytimeofmylife;butinthisoccasionoftrussingupmybaggage，IamparticularlypleasedthatindyingIshallneitherdothemgoodnorharm。Shehassoorderedit，byacunningcompensation，thattheywhomaypretendtoanyconsiderableadvantagebymydeathwill，atthesametime，sustainamaterialinconvenience。Deathsometimesismoregrievoustous，inthatitisgrievoustoothers，andinterestsusintheirinterestasmuchasinourown，andsometimesmore。
InthisconveniencyoflodgingthatIdesire，Imixnothingofpompandamplitude——Ihateitrather;butacertainplainneatness，whichisoftenestfoundinplaceswherethereislessofart，andthatNaturehasadornedwithsomegracethatisallherown:
\"Nonampliter，seamunditerconvivium。\"
[\"Toeatnotlargely，butcleanly。\"——Nepos，LifeofAtticus，c。13]
\"Plussalisquamsumptus。\"
[\"Ratherenoughthancostly（Morewitthancost）\"——Nonius，xi。19。]