\'IfIgoon，sir，now，Imunaskyo\'topromiseasyo\'llnivertell。
IdosoneedsomeonetotellmewhatIoughttodo，andIwereledhere，like，elseIwouldha\'diedwi\'itallwithinmyteeth。Yo\'llpromise，sir？\'
JeremiahFosterlookedinherface，andseeingthewistful，eagerlook，hewastouchedalmostagainsthisjudgmentintogivingthepromiserequired;
shewenton。
\'UponaTuesdaymorning，threeweeksago，Ithink，tho\'fort\'mattero\'timeitmightha\'beenthreeyears，Kinraidcomehome;comebackfort\'claimmeashiswife，andIwerewedtoPhilip！Imethimi\'t\'roadatfirst;andIcouldn\'ttellhimtheere。Hefollowedmeintot\'house——Philip\'shouse，sir，behindt\'shop——andsomehowItoldhimall，howIwereaweddedwifetoanother。ThenheupandsaidI\'dafalseheart——mefalse，sir，ashadeatenmydailybreadinbitterness，andhadweptt\'nightsthrough，allforsorrowandmourningforhisdeath！ThenhesaidasPhilipknowedallt\'timehewerealiveandcomingbackforme;andIcouldn\'tbelieveit，andIcalledPhilip，andhecome，anda\'thatCharleyhadsaidweretrue;andyetIwerePhilip\'swife！SoItookamightyoath，andIsaidasI\'dniverholdPhiliptobemylawfulhusbandagain，noriverforgivehimfort\'evilhe\'dwroughtus，butholdhimasastrangerandoneashaddonemeaheavywrong。\'
Shestoppedspeaking;herstoryseemedtohertoendthere。Butherlistenersaid，afterapause，\'Itwereacruelwrong，Igranttheethat;butthyoathwereasin，andthywordswereevil，mypoorlass。Whathappenednext？\'
\'Idon\'tjustlyremember，\'shesaid，wearily。\'Kinraidwentaway，andmothercriedout;andIwenttoher。Shewereasleep，Ithought，soIlaydownbyher，towishIweredead，andtothinkonwhatwouldcomeonmychildifIdied;andPhilipcameinsoftly，andImadeasifIwereasleep;
andthat\'st\'verylastasI\'veiverseenorhearedofhim。\'
JeremiahFostergroanedassheendedherstory。Thenhepulledhimselfup，andsaid，inacheerfultoneofvoice，\'He\'llcomeback，SylviaHepburn。He\'llthinkbetterofit:neverfear！\'
\'Ifearhiscomingback！\'saidshe。\'That\'swhatI\'mfearedon;IwouldwishasIknewonhiswell—doingi\'someotherplace;buthimandmecanniverlivetogetheragain。\'
\'Nay，\'pleadedJeremiah。\'Theeartsorrywhattheesaid;theeweresoreputabout，ortheewouldn\'thavesaidit。\'
Hewastryingtobeapeace—maker，andtohealoverconjugaldifferences;
buthedidnotgodeepenough。
\'I\'mnotsorry，\'saidshe，slowly。\'Iweretoodeeplywrongedtobe\"putabout;\"thatwouldgooffwi\'anight\'ssleep。It\'sonlythethoughtofmother（she\'sdeadandhappy，andknowsnoughtofallthis，Itrust）
thatcomesbetweenmeandhatingPhilip。I\'mnotsorryforwhatIsaid。\'
Jeremiahhadnevermetwithanyonesofrankandundisguisedinexpressionsofwrongfeeling，andhescarcelyknewwhattosay。
Helookedextremelygrieved，andnotalittleshocked。Soprettyanddelicateayoungcreaturetousesuchstrongrelentlesslanguage！
Sheseemedtoreadhisthoughts，forshemadeanswertothem。
\'IdaresayyouthinkI\'mverywicked，sir，nottobesorry。PerhapsIam。Ican\'tthinko\'thatforrememberinghowI\'vesuffered;andheknewhowmiserableIwas，andmightha\'clearedmymiseryawaywi\'aword;andheheldhispeace，andnowit\'stoolate！I\'msicko\'menandtheircruel，deceitfulways。IwishIweredead。\'
Shewascryingbeforeshehadendedthisspeech，andseeinghertears，thechildbegantocrytoo，stretchingoutitslittlearmstogobacktoitsmother。Thehardstonylookonherfacemeltedawayintothesoftest，tenderestloveassheclaspedthelittleonetoher，andtriedtosootheitsfrightenedsobs。
Abrightthoughtcameintotheoldman\'smind。
Hehadbeentakingacompletedisliketohertillherprettywaywithherbabyshowedhimthatshehadaheartoffleshwithinher。
\'Poorlittleone！\'saidhe，\'thymotherhadneedlovethee，forshe\'sdeprivedtheeofthyfather\'slove。Thou\'rthalf—waytobeinganorphan;
yetIcannotcalltheeoneofthefatherlesstowhomGodwillbeafather。
Thou\'rtadesolatebabe，thoumay\'stwellcry;thineearthlyparentshaveforsakenthee，andIknownotiftheLordwilltaketheeup。\'
Sylvialookedupathimaffrighted;holdingherbabytightertoher，sheexclaimed。
\'Don\'tspeakso，sir！it\'scursing，sir！Ihaven\'tforsakenher！Oh，sir！thoseareawfulsayings。\'
\'Theehastswornnevertoforgivethyhusband，nortolivewithhimagain。Dosttheeknowthatbythelawoftheland，hemayclaimhischild;
andthenthouwilthavetoforsakeit，ortobeforsworn？Poorlittlemaiden！\'
continuedhe，oncemoreluringthebabytohimwiththetemptationofthewatchandchain。
Sylviathoughtforawhilebeforespeaking。Thenshesaid，\'Icannottellwhatwaystotake。WhilesIthinkmyheadiscrazed。
Itwereacruelturnhedidme！\'
\'Itwas。Icouldn\'thavethoughthimguiltyofsuchbaseness。\'
Thisacquiescence，whichwasperfectlyhonestonJeremiah\'spart，almosttookSylviabysurprise。Whymightshenothateonewhohadbeenbothcruelandbaseinhistreatmentofher？AndyetsherecoiledfromtheapplicationofsuchhardtermsbyanothertoPhilip，byacool—judgingandindifferentperson，assheesteemedJeremiahtobe。Fromsomeinscrutableturninherthoughts，shebegantodefendhim，oratleasttopalliatetheharshjudgmentwhichsheherselfhadbeenthefirsttopronounce。
\'Heweresotendertomother;sheweredearlyfondonhim;heniversparedaughthecoulddoforher，elseIwouldniverha\'marriedhim。\'
\'Hewasagoodandkind—heartedladfromthetimehewasfifteen。AndIneverfoundhimoutinanyfalsehood，nomoredidmybrother。\'
\'Butitwereallthesameasalie，\'saidSylvia，swiftlychangingherground，\'toleavemetothinkasCharleyweredead，whenheknowedallt\'timehewerealive。\'
\'Itwas。Itwasaself—seekinglie;puttingtheetopaintogethisownends。AndtheendofithasbeenthatheisdrivenforthlikeCain。\'
\'Inivertoldhimtogo，sir。\'
\'Butthywordssenthimforth，Sylvia。\'
\'Icannotunsaythem，sir;andIbelieveasIshouldsaythemagain。\'
Butshesaidthisasonewhoratherhopesforacontradiction。
AllJeremiahreplied，however，\'was，\'Poorweechild！\'inapitifultone，addressedtothebaby。
Sylvia\'seyesfilledwithtears。
\'Oh，sir，I\'lldoanythingasiveryo\'cantellmeforher。That\'swhatIcamefort\'askyo\'。IknowImunnotstaytheere，andPhilipgoneaway;
andIdunnotknowwhattodo:andI\'lldoaught，onlyImustkeepherwi\'
me。WhativercanIdo，sir？\'
Jeremiahthoughtitoverforaminuteortwo。Thenhereplied，\'Imusthavetimetothink。ImusttalkitoverwithbrotherJohn。\'
\'Butyou\'vegivenmeyo\'rword，sir！\'exclaimedshe。
\'Ihavegiventheemywordnevertotellanyoneofwhathaspassedbetweentheeandthyhusband，butImusttakecounselwithmybrotherastowhatistobedonewiththeeandthychild，nowthatthyhusbandhaslefttheshop。\'
Thiswassaidsogravelyasalmosttobeareproach，andhegotup，asasignthattheinterviewwasended。
Hegavethebabybacktoitsmother;butnotwithoutasolemnblessing，sosolemnthat，toSylvia\'ssuperstitiousandexcitedmind，itundidtheterrorsofwhatshehadesteemedtobeacurse。
\'TheLordblesstheeandkeepthee！TheLordmakeHisfacetoshineuponthee！\'
Allthewaydownthehill—side，Sylviakeptkissingthechild，andwhisperingtoitsunconsciousears，——
\'I\'lllovetheeforboth，mytreasure，Iwill。I\'llhaptheeroundwi\'
mylove，soasthoushallniverneedafeyther\'s。\'
chapter37CHAPTERXXXVIIBEREAVEMENTHesterhadbeenpreventedbyhermother\'sindispositionfromtakingPhilip\'slettertotheFosters，toholdaconsultationwiththemoveritscontents。
AliceRosewasslowlyfailing，andthelongdayswhichshehadtospendalonetoldmuchuponherspirits，andconsequentlyuponherhealth。
AllthiscameoutintheconversationwhichensuedafterreadingHepburn\'sletterinthelittleparlouratthebankonthedayafterSylviahadhadherconfidentialinterviewwithJeremiahFoster。
Hewasatruemanofhonour，andneversomuchasalludedtohervisittohim;butwhatshehadthentoldhiminfluencedhimverymuchintheformationoftheprojectwhichheproposedtohisbrotherandHester。
Herecommendedherremainingwhereshewas，livingstillinthehousebehindtheshop;forhethoughtwithinhimselfthatshemighthaveexaggeratedtheeffectofherwordsuponPhilip;that，afterall，itmighthavebeensomecausetotallydisconnectedwiththem，whichhadblottedoutherhusband\'splaceamongthemenofMonkshaven;andthatitwouldbesomucheasierforbothtoresumetheirnaturalrelations，bothtowardseachotherandtowardstheworld，ifSylviaremainedwhereherhusbandhadlefther——inanexpectantattitude，sotospeak。
JeremiahFosterquestionedHesterstraitlyaboutherletter:whethershehadmadeknownitscontentstoanyone。No，nottoanyone。NeithertohermothernortoWilliamCoulson？No，toneither。
Shelookedathimassherepliedtohisinquiries，andhelookedather，eachwonderingiftheothercouldbeintheleastawarethataconjugalquarrelmightbeattherootofthedilemmainwhichtheywereplacedbyHepburn\'sdisappearance。
ButneitherHester，whohadwitnessedthemisunderstandingbetweenthehusbandandwifeontheevening，beforethemorningonwhichPhilipwentaway，norJeremiahFoster，whohadlearntfromSylviathetruereasonofherhusband\'sdisappearance，gavetheslightestreasontotheothertothinkthattheyeachsupposedtheyhadacluetothereasonofHepburn\'ssuddendeparture。
WhatJeremiahFoster，afteranight\'sconsideration，hadtoproposewasthis;thatHesterandhermothershouldcomeandoccupythehouseinthemarket—place，conjointlywithSylviaandherchild。Hester\'sinterestintheshopwasbythistimeacknowledged。Jeremiahhadmadeovertohersomuchofhisshareinthebusiness，thatshehadarighttobeconsideredasakindofpartner;andshehadlongbeenthesuperintendentofthatdepartmentofgoodswhichwereexclusivelydevotedtowomen。Soherdailypresencewasrequisiteformorereasonsthanone。
Yethermother\'shealthandspiritsweresuchastorenderitunadvisablethattheoldwomanshouldbetoomuchleftalone;andSylvia\'sdevotiontoherownmotherseemedtopointheroutastheverypersonwhocouldbeagentleandtendercompaniontoAliceRoseduringthosehourswhenherowndaughterwouldnecessarilybeengagedintheshop。
ManydesirableobjectsseemedtobegainedbythisremovalofAlice:
anoccupationwasprovidedforSylvia，whichwoulddetainherintheplacewhereherhusbandhadlefther，andwhere（JeremiahFosterfairlyexpectedinspiteofhisletter）hewaslikelytocomebacktofindher;andAliceRose，theearlyloveofoneofthebrothers，theoldfriendoftheother，wouldbewellcaredfor，andunderherdaughter\'simmediatesupervisionduringthewholeofthetimethatshewasoccupiedintheshop。
Philip\'sshareofthebusiness，augmentedbythemoneywhichhehadputinfromthelegacyofhisoldCumberlanduncle，wouldbringinprofitsenoughtosupportSylviaandherchildineaseandcomfortuntilthattime，whichtheyallanticipated，whenheshouldreturnfromhismysteriouswandering——mysterious，whetherhisgoingforthhadbeenvoluntaryorinvoluntary。
Thusfarwassettled;andJeremiahFosterwenttotellSylviaoftheplan。
Shewastoomuchachild，tooentirelyunaccustomedtoanyindependenceofaction，todoanythingbutleaveherselfinhishands。Herveryconfession，madetohimthedaybefore，whenshesoughthiscounsel，seemedtoplaceherathisdisposal。Otherwise，shehadhadnotionsofthepossibilityofafreecountrylifeoncemore——howprovidedforandarrangedshehardlyknew;butHaytersbankwastolet，andKesterdisengaged，andithadjustseemedpossiblethatshemighthavetoreturntoherearlyhome，andtoheroldlife。Sheknewthatitwouldtakemuchmoneytostockthefarmagain，andthatherhandsweretiedfrommuchusefulactivitybytheloveandcaresheowedtoherbaby。Butstill，somehow，shehopedandshefancied，tillJeremiahFoster\'smeasuredwordsandcarefully—arrangedplanmadehersilentlyrelinquishhergreen，breezyvision。
Hester，too，hadherownprivaterebellion——hushedintosubmissionbyhergentlepiety。IfSylviahadbeenabletomakePhiliphappy，Hestercouldhavefeltlovinglyandalmostgratefullytowardsher;butSylviahadfailedinthis。
Philiphadbeenmadeunhappy，andwasdrivenforthawandererintothewideworld——nevertocomeback！AndhislastwordstoHester，thepostscriptofhisletter，containingtheverypithofit，wastoaskhertotakechargeandcareofthewifewhosewantoflovetowardshimhaduprootedhimfromtheplacewherehewasvaluedandhonoured。
ItcostHestermanyastruggleandmanyaself—reproachbeforeshecouldmakeherselffeelwhatshesawallalong——thatineverythingPhiliptreatedherlikeasister。Butevenasistermightwellbeindignantifshesawherbrother\'slovedisregardedandslighted，andhislifeembitteredbythethoughtlessconductofawife！StillHesterfoughtagainstherself，andforPhilip\'ssakeshesoughttoseethegoodinSylvia，andshestrovetoloveheraswellastotakecareofher。
Withthebaby，ofcourse，thecasewasdifferent。Withoutthoughtorstruggle，orreason，everyonelovedthelittlegirl。Coulsonandhisbuxomwife，whowerechildless，wereneverwearyofmakingmuchofher。Hester\'shappiesthourswerespentwiththatlittlechild。JeremiahFosteralmostlookeduponherashisownfromthedaywhenshehonouredhimbyyieldingtothetemptationofthechainandseal，andcomingtohisknee;notacustomertotheshopbutknewthesmilingchild\'ssadhistory，andmanyacountry—womanwouldsavearosy—cheekedapplefromoutherstorethatautumntobringitonnextmarket—dayfor\'PhilipHepburn\'sbaby，ashadlostitsfather，blessit。\'
EvensternAliceRosewasgraciouslyinclinedtowardsthelittleBella;
andthoughherideaofthenumberoftheelectwasgrowingnarrowerandnarrowereveryday，shewouldhavebeenlothtoexcludetheinnocentlittlechild，thatstrokedherwrinkledcheekssosoftlyeverynightinreturnforherblessing，fromthefewthatshouldbesaved。Nay，forthechild\'ssake，sherelentedtowardsthemother;andstrovetohaveSylviarescuedfromthemanycastawayswithferventprayer，or，asshephrasedit，\'wrestlingwiththeLord。\'
Alicehadasortofinstinctthatthelittlechild，sotenderlylovedby，sofondlyloving，themotherwhoseewe—lambshewas，couldnotbeeveninheavenwithoutyearningforthecreatureshehadlovedbestonearth;
andtheoldwomanbelievedthatthiswastheprincipalreasonforherprayersforSylvia;butunconsciouslytoherself，AliceRosewastouchedbythefilialattentionssheconstantlyreceivedfromtheyoungmother，whomshebelievedtobeforedoomedtocondemnation。
Sylviararelywenttochurchorchapel，nordidshereadherBible;
forthoughshespokelittleofherignorance，andwouldfain，forherchild\'ssake，haveremedieditnowitwastoolate，shehadlostwhatlittlefluencyofreadingshehadeverhad，andcouldonlymakeoutherwordswithmuchspellinganddifficulty。SothetakingherBibleinhandwouldhavebeenamereform;thoughofthisAliceRoseknewnothing。
NooneknewmuchofwhatwaspassinginSylvia;shedidnotknowherself。
Sometimesinthenightsshewouldwaken，crying，withaterriblesenseofdesolation;everyonewholovedher，orwhomshehadloved，hadvanishedoutofherlife;everyonebutherchild，wholayinherarms，warmandsoft。
ButthenJeremiahFoster\'swordscameuponher;wordsthatshehadtakenforcursingatthetime;andshewouldsogladlyhavehadsomecluebywhichtopenetratethedarknessoftheunknownregionfromwhencebothblessingandcursingcame，andtoknowifshehadindeeddonesomethingwhichshouldcausehersintobevisitedonthatsoft，sweet，innocentdarling。
Ifanyonewouldteachhertoread！Ifanyonewouldexplaintoherthehardwordssheheardinchurchorchapel，sothatshemightfindoutthemeaningofsinandgodliness！——wordsthathadonlypassedoverthesurfaceofhermindtillnow！Forherchild\'ssakesheshouldliketodothewillofGod，ifsheonlyknewwhatthatwas，andhowtobeworkedoutinherdailylife。
Buttherewasnooneshedaredconfessherignorancetoandaskinformationfrom。JeremiahFosterhadspokenasifherchild，sweetlittlemerryBella，withalovingwordandakissforeveryone，wastosufferheavilyforthejustandtruewordsherwrongedandindignantmotherhadspoken。Alicealwaysspokeasiftherewerenohopeforher;andblamedher，nevertheless，fornotusingthemeansofgracethatitwasnotinherpowertoavailherselfof。
AndHester，thatSylviawouldfainhavelovedforheruniformgentlenessandpatiencewithallaroundher，seemedsocoldinherunruffledandundemonstrativebehaviour;andmoreover，SylviafeltthatHesterblamedherperpetualsilenceregardingPhilip\'sabsencewithoutknowinghowbitteracauseSylviahadforcastinghimoff。
TheonlypersonwhoseemedtohavepityuponherwasKester;andhispitywasshowninlooksratherthanwords;forwhenhecametoseeher，whichhedidfromtimetotime，byakindofmutualtacitconsent，theyspokebutlittleofformerdays。
Hewasstilllodgingwithhissister，widowMoore，workingatoddjobs，someofwhichtookhimintothecountryforweeksatatime。ButonhisreturnstoMonkshavenhewassuretocomeandseeherandthelittleBella;
indeed，whenhisemploymentwasintheimmediateneighbourhoodofthetown，heneverallowedaweektopassawaywithoutavisit。
TherewasnotmuchconversationbetweenhimandSylviaatsuchtimes。
Theyskimmedoverthesurfaceofthesmalleventsinwhichbothtookaninterest;onlynowandthenasuddenglance，acheckedspeech，toldeachthatthereweredeepsnotforgotten，althoughtheywerenevermentioned。
TwiceSylvia——belowherbreath——hadaskedKester，justasshewasholdingthedooropenforhisdeparture，ifanythinghadeverbeenheardofKinraidsincehisonenight\'svisittoMonkshaven:eachtime（andtherewasanintervalofsomemonthsbetweentheinquiries）theanswerhadbeensimply，no。
TonooneelsewouldSylviaeverhavenamedhisname。Butindeedshehadnotthechance，hadshewishediteversomuch，ofaskinganyquestionsabouthimfromanyonelikelytoknow。TheCorneyshadleftMossBrowatMartinmas，andgonemanymilesawaytowardsHorncastle。BessyCorney，itistruewasmarriedandleftbehindintheneighbourhood;butwithherSylviahadneverbeenintimate;andwhatgirlishfriendshiptheremighthavebeenbetweenthemhadcooledverymuchatthetimeofKinraid\'ssupposeddeaththreeyearsbefore。
OnedaybeforeChristmasinthisyear，1798，SylviawascalledintotheshopbyCoulson，who，withhisassistantwasbusyundoingthebalesofwintergoodssuppliedtothemfromtheWestRiding，andotherplaces。
HewaslookingatafineIrishpoplindress—piecewhenSylviaansweredtohiscall。
\'Here！doyouknowthisagain？\'askedhe，inthecheerfultoneofonesureofgivingpleasure。
\'No！haveIiverseenitafore？\'
\'Notthis，butoneforallt\'worldlikeit。\'
Shedidnotrouseuptomuchinterest，butlookedatitasiftryingtorecollectwhereshecouldhaveseenitslike。
\'Mymissushadoneonatth\'partyatJohnFoster\'slastMarch，andyo\'admireditadeal。AndPhilip，hethoughto\'nothingbuthowhecouldgetyo\'justsuchanother，andhesetavasto\'folkagaitfortomeetwi\'itsmarrow;andwhathedidjusttheverydayaforehewentawaysomysteriouswastowritethroughDawsonBrothers，o\'Wakefield，toDublin，andorderthatoneshouldbewovenforyo\'。Jemimahadtocutabitoffhersfortogivehimt\'exactcolour。\'
Sylviadidnotsayanythingbutthatitwasverypretty，inalowvoice，andthenshequicklylefttheshop，muchtoCoulson\'sdispleasure。
Alltheafternoonshewasunusuallyquietanddepressed。
AliceRose，sittinghelplessinherchair，watchedherwithkeeneyes。
Atlength，afteroneofSylvia\'sdeep，unconscioussighs，theoldwomanspoke:
\'It\'sreligionasmustcomfortthee，child，asit\'sdonemanyaoneaforethee。\'
\'How？\'saidSylvia，lookingup，startledtofindherselfanobjectofnotice。
\'How？\'（Theanswerwasnotquitesoreadyastheprecepthadbeen。）
\'ReadthyBible，andthouwiltlearn。\'
\'ButIcannotread，\'saidSylvia，toodesperateanylongertoconcealherignorance。
\'Notread！andtheePhilip\'swifeaswassuchagreatscholar！Ofasuretythewayso\'thislifearecrooked！TherewasourHester，ascanreadaswellasanyminister，andPhilippassesoverhertogoandchooseayounglassascannotreadherBible。\'
\'WasPhilipandHester————\'
Sylviapaused，forthoughanewcuriosityhaddawneduponher，shedidnotknowhowtowordherquestion。
\'ManyatimeandofthaveIseenHestertakecomfortinherBiblewhenPhilipwasfollowingafterthee。Sheknewwheretogoforconsolation。\'
\'I\'dfainread，\'saidSylvia，humbly，\'ifanybodywouldlearnme;forperhapsitmightdomegood;I\'mnoanesohappy。\'
Hereyes，asshelookedupatAlice\'ssterncountenance，werefulloftears。
Theoldwomansawit，andwastouched，althoughshedidnotimmediatelyshowhersympathy。Butshetookherowntime，andmadenoreply。
Thenextday，however，shebadeSylviacometoher，andthenandthere，asifherpupilhadbeenalittlechild，shebegantoteachSylviatoreadthefirstchapterofGenesis;forallotherreadingbuttheScriptureswasasvanitytoher，andshewouldnotcondescendtotheweaknessofotherbooks。Sylviawasnow，asever，slowatbook—learning;butshewasmeekanddesiroustobetaught，andherwillingnessinthisrespectpleasedAlice，anddrewhersingularlytowardsonewho，frombeingapupil，mightbecomeaconvert。
AllthistimeSylvianeverlostthecuriositythathadbeenexcitedbythefewwordsAlicehadletdropaboutHesterandPhilip，andbydegreessheapproachedthesubjectagain，andhadtheideathenstartedconfirmedbyAlice，whohadnoscrupleinusingthepastexperienceofherown，ofherdaughter\'s，orofanyone\'slife，asaninstrumenttoprovethevanityofsettingtheheartonanythingearthly。
Thisknowledge，unsuspectedbefore，sankdeepintoSylvia\'sthoughts，andgaveherastrangeinterestinHester——poorHester，whoselifeshehadsocrossedandblighted，evenbytheveryblightingofherown。ShegaveHesterherownformerpassionatefeelingsforKinraid，andwonderedhowsheherselfshouldhavefelttowardsanyonewhohadcomebetweenherandhim，andwiledhisloveaway。WhensherememberedHester\'sunfailingsweetnessandkindnesstowardsherselffromtheveryfirst，shecouldbetterbearthecomparativecoldnessofherpresentbehaviour。
Shetried，indeed，hardtowinbackthefavourshehadlost;buttheverymeansshetookwereblunders，andonlymadeitseemtoherasifshecouldneveragaindorightinHester\'seyes。
Forinstance，shebeggedhertoacceptandweartheprettypoplingownwhichhadbeenPhilip\'sespecialchoice;feelingwithinherselfasifsheshouldneverwishtoputiton，andasifthebestthingshecoulddowithitwastoofferittoHester。ButHesterrejectedtheprofferedgiftwithasmuchhardnessofmannerasshewascapableofassuming;andSylviahadtocarryitupstairsandlayitbyforthelittledaughter，who，Hestersaid，mightperhapslearntovaluethingsthatherfatherhadgivenespecialthoughtto。
YetSylviawentontryingtowinHestertolikeheroncemore;itwasoneofhergreatlabours，andlearningtoreadfromHester\'smotherwasanother。
Alice，indeed，inhersolemnway，wasbecomingquitefondofSylvia;
ifshecouldnotreadorwrite，shehadadeftnessandgentlenessofmotion，acapacityforthehouseholdmatterswhichfellintoherdepartment，thathadagreateffectontheoldwoman，andforherdearmother\'ssakeSylviahadastockofpatientlovereadyinherheartforalltheagedandinfirmthatfellinherway。Sheneverthoughtofseekingthemout，assheknewthatHesterdid;butthenshelookeduptoHesterassomeoneveryremarkableforhergoodness。Ifonlyshecouldhavelikedher！
HestertriedtodoallshecouldforSylvia;Philiphadtoldhertotakecareofhiswifeandchild;butshehadtheconvictionthatSylviahadsomateriallyfailedinherdutiesastohavemadeherhusbandanexilefromhishome——apennilesswanderer，wifelessandchildless，insomestrangecountry，whoseveryaspectwasfriendless，whilethecauseofalllivedoninthecomfortablehomewherehehadplacedher，wantingfornothing——anobjectofinterestandregardtomanyfriends——withalovelylittlechildtogiveherjoyforthepresent，andhopeforthefuture;whilehe，thepooroutcast，mightevenliedeadbythewayside。HowcouldHesterloveSylvia？
Yettheywerefrequentcompanionsthatensuingspring。Hesterwasnotwell;andthedoctorssaidthattheconstantoccupationintheshopwastoomuchforher，andthatshemust，foratimeatleast，takedailywalksintothecountry。
Sylviausedtobegtoaccompanyher;sheandthelittlegirloftenwentwithHesterupthevalleyoftherivertosomeofthenestlingfarmsthatwerehiddeninthemoreshelterednooks——forHesterwasbiddentodrinkmilkwarmfromthecow;andtogointothefamiliarhauntsaboutafarmwasoneofthefewthingsinwhichSylviaseemedtotakemuchpleasure。
ShewouldletlittleBellatoddleaboutwhileHestersateandrested:andsheherselfwouldbegtomilkthecowdestinedtogivetheinvalidherdraught。
OneMayeveningthethreehadbeenoutonsomesuchexpedition;thecountrysidestilllookedgrayandbare，thoughtheleaveswereshowingonthewillowandblackthornandsloe，andbythetinklingrunnels，makinghiddenmusicalongthecopseside，thepaledelicateprimrosebudswereshowingamidtheirfresh，green，crinkledleaves。Thelarkshadbeensingingalltheafternoon，butwerenowdroppingdownintotheirnestsinthepasturefields;theairhadjustthesharpnessinitwhichgoesalongwithacloudlesseveningskyatthattimeoftheyear。
ButHesterwalkedhomewardsslowlyandlanguidly，speakingnoword。
Sylvianoticedthisatfirstwithoutventuringtospeak，forHesterwasonewhodislikedhavingherailmentsnoticed。ButafterawhileHesterstoodstillinasortofwearydreamyabstraction;andSylviasaidtoher，\'I\'mafearedyo\'resadlytired。Maybewe\'vebeentoofar。\'
Hesteralmoststarted。
\'No！\'saidshe，\'it\'sonlymyheadachewhichisworseto—night。Ithasbeenbadallday;butsinceIcameoutithasfeltjustasifthereweregreatgunsbooming，tillIcouldalmostpray\'emtobequiet。Iamsowearyo\'th\'sound。\'
Shesteppedoutquicklytowardshomeaftershehadsaidthis，asifshewishedforneitherpitynorcommentonwhatshehadsaid。
chapter38CHAPTERXXXVIIITHERECOGNITIONFaraway，overseaandland，oversunnyseaagain，greatgunswereboomingonthat7thofMay，1799。
TheMediterraneancameupwithalongroaronabeachglitteringwhitewithsnowysand，andthefragmentsofinnumerablesea—shells，delicateandshiningasporcelain。Lookingatthatshorefromthesea，alongridgeofuplandground，beginningfromaninlanddepth，stretchedfarawayintotheoceanontheright，tillitendedinagreatmountainousbluff，crownedwiththewhitebuildingsofaconventslopingrapidlydownintothebluewateratitsbase。