ButI，andtherestwhocontinuedwell，enjoyedfullythebeautiesofthesceneandseason;theyletusrambleinthewood，likegipsies，frommorningtillnight;wedidwhatweliked，wentwhereweliked:welivedbettertoo。Mr。BrocklehurstandhisfamilynevercamenearLowoodnow:householdmatterswerenotscrutinisedinto;thecrosshousekeeperwasgone，drivenawaybythefearofinfection;
hersuccessor，whohadbeenmatronattheLowtonDispensary，unusedtothewaysofhernewabode，providedwithcomparativeliberality。
Besides，therewerefewertofeed;thesickcouldeatlittle;ourbreakfast—basinswerebetterfilled;whentherewasnotimetopreparearegulardinner，whichoftenhappened，shewouldgiveusalargepieceofcoldpie，orathicksliceofbreadandcheese，andthiswecarriedawaywithustothewood，whereweeachchosethespotwelikedbest，anddinedsumptuously。
Myfavouriteseatwasasmoothandbroadstone，risingwhiteanddryfromtheverymiddleofthebeck，andonlytobegotatbywadingthroughthewater;afeatIaccomplishedbarefoot。Thestonewasjustbroadenoughtoaccommodate，comfortably，anothergirlandme，atthattimemychosencomrade—oneMaryAnnWilson;ashrewd，observantpersonage，whosesocietyItookpleasurein，partlybecauseshewaswittyandoriginal，andpartlybecauseshehadamannerwhichsetmeatmyease。SomeyearsolderthanI，sheknewmoreoftheworld，andcouldtellmemanythingsIlikedtohear:withhermycuriosityfoundgratification:tomyfaultsalsoshegaveampleindulgence，neverimposingcurborreinonanythingIsaid。Shehadaturnfornarrative，Iforanalysis;shelikedtoinform，Itoquestion;sowegotonswimminglytogether，derivingmuchentertainment，ifnotmuchimprovement，fromourmutualintercourse。
Andwhere，meantime，wasHelenBurns？WhydidInotspendthesesweetdaysoflibertywithher？HadIforgottenher？orwasIsoworthlessastohavegrowntiredofherpuresociety？SurelytheMaryAnnWilsonIhavementionedwasinferiortomyfirstacquaintance:shecouldonlytellmeamusingstories，andreciprocateanyracyandpungentgossipIchosetoindulgein;
while，ifIhavespokentruthofHelen，shewasqualifiedtogivethosewhoenjoyedtheprivilegeofherconverseatasteoffarhigherthings。
True，reader;andIknewandfeltthis:andthoughIamadefectivebeing，withmanyfaultsandfewredeemingpoints，yetInevertiredofHelenBurns;noreverceasedtocherishforherasentimentofattachment，asstrong，tender，andrespectfulasanythateveranimatedmyheart。Howcoulditbeotherwise，whenHelen，atalltimesandunderallcircumstances，evincedformeaquietandfaithfulfriendship，whichill—humourneversoured，norirritationnevertroubled？ButHelenwasillatpresent:forsomeweeksshehadbeenremovedfrommysighttoIknewnotwhatroomupstairs。Shewasnot，I
wastold，inthehospitalportionofthehousewiththefeverpatients;forhercomplaintwasconsumption，nottyphus:andbyconsumptionI，inmyignorance，understoodsomethingmild，whichtimeandcarewouldbesuretoalleviate。
Iwasconfirmedinthisideabythefactofheronceortwicecomingdownstairsonverywarmsunnyafternoons，andbeingtakenbyMissTempleintothegarden;but，ontheseoccasions，Iwasnotallowedtogoandspeaktoher;Ionlysawherfromtheschoolroomwindow，andthennotdistinctly;forshewasmuchwrappedup，andsatatadistanceundertheverandah。
Oneevening，inthebeginningofJune，IhadstayedoutverylatewithMaryAnninthewood;wehad，asusual，separatedourselvesfromtheothers，andhadwanderedfar;sofarthatwelostourway，andhadtoaskitatalonelycottage，whereamanandwomanlived，wholookedafteraherdofhalf—wildswinethatfedonthemastinthewood。Whenwegotback，itwasaftermoonrise:apony，whichweknewtobethesurgeon\'s，wasstandingatthegardendoor。MaryAnnremarkedthatshesupposedsomeonemustbeveryill，asMr。Bateshadbeensentforatthattimeoftheevening。Shewentintothehouse;
IstayedbehindafewminutestoplantinmygardenahandfulofrootsIhaddugupintheforest，andwhichIfearedwouldwitherifI
leftthemtillthemorning。Thisdone，Ilingeredyetalittlelonger:
theflowerssmeltsosweetasthedewfell;itwassuchapleasantevening，soserene，sowarm;thestillglowingwestpromisedsofairlyanotherfinedayonthemorrow;themoonrosewithsuchmajestyinthegraveeast。Iwasnotingthesethingsandenjoyingthemasachildmight，whenitenteredmymindasithadneverdonebefore:—
\'Howsadtobelyingnowonasickbed，andtobeindangerofdying！Thisworldispleasant—itwouldbedrearytobecalledfromit，andtohavetogowhoknowswhere？\'
Andthenmymindmadeitsfirstearnestefforttocomprehendwhathadbeeninfusedintoitconcerningheavenandhell;andforthefirsttimeitrecoiled，baffled;andforthefirsttimeglancingbehind，oneachside，andbeforeit，itsawallroundanunfathomedgulf:itfelttheonepointwhereitstood—thepresent;alltherestwasformlesscloudandvacantdepth;anditshudderedatthethoughtoftottering，andplungingamidthatchaos。Whileponderingthisnewidea，Iheardthefrontdooropen;Mr。Batescameout，andwithhimwasanurse。Aftershehadseenhimmounthishorseanddepart，shewasabouttoclosethedoor，butIranuptoher。
\'HowisHelenBurns？\'
\'Verypoorly，\'wastheanswer。
\'IsitherMr。Bateshasbeentosee？\'
\'Yes。\'
\'Andwhatdoeshesayabouther？\'
\'Hesaysshe\'llnotbeherelong。\'
Thisphrase，utteredinmyhearingyesterday，wouldhaveonlyconveyedthenotionthatshewasabouttoberemovedtoNorthumberland，toherownhome。Ishouldnothavesuspectedthatitmeantshewasdying;butIknewinstantlynow！ItopenedclearonmycomprehensionthatHelenBurnswasnumberingherlastdaysinthisworld，andthatshewasgoingtobetakentotheregionofspirits，ifsuchregiontherewere。Iexperiencedashockofhorror，thenastrongthrillofgrief，thenadesire—anecessitytoseeher;andIaskedinwhatroomshelay。
\'SheisinMissTemple\'sroom，\'saidthenurse。
\'MayIgoupandspeaktoher？\'
\'Ohno，child！Itisnotlikely;andnowitistimeforyoutocomein;you\'llcatchthefeverifyoustopoutwhenthedewisfalling。\'
Thenurseclosedthefrontdoor;Iwentinbythesideentrancewhichledtotheschoolroom:Iwasjustintime;itwasnineo\'clock，andMissMillerwascallingthepupilstogotobed。
Itmightbetwohourslater，probablyneareleven，whenI—nothavingbeenabletofallasleep，anddeeming，fromtheperfectsilenceofthedormitory，thatmycompanionswereallwraptinprofoundrepose—rosesoftly，putonmyfrockovermynight—dress，and，withoutshoes，creptfromtheapartment，andsetoffinquestofMissTemple\'sroom。Itwasquiteattheotherendofthehouse;butIknewmyway;
andthelightoftheuncloudedsummermoon，enteringhereandthereatpassagewindows，enabledmetofinditwithoutdifficulty。AnodourofcamphorandburntvinegarwarnedmewhenIcamenearthefeverroom:
andIpasseditsdoorquickly，fearfullestthenursewhosatupallnightshouldhearme。Idreadedbeingdiscoveredandsentback;forImustseeHelen，—Imustembraceherbeforeshedied，—Imustgiveheronelastkiss，exchangewithheronelastword。
Havingdescendedastaircase，traversedaportionofthehousebelow，andsucceededinopeningandshutting，withoutnoise，twodoors，Ireachedanotherflightofsteps;theseImounted，andthenjustoppositetomewasMissTemple\'sroom。Alightshonethroughthekeyholeandfromunderthedoor;aprofoundstillnesspervadedthevicinity。Comingnear，Ifoundthedoorslightlyajar;probablytoadmitsomefreshairintothecloseabodeofsickness。Indisposedtohesitate，andfullofimpatientimpulses—soulandsensesquiveringwithkeenthroes—Iputitbackandlookedin。MyeyesoughtHelen，andfearedtofinddeath。
ClosebyMissTemple\'sbed，andhalfcoveredwithitswhitecurtains，therestoodalittlecrib。Isawtheoutlineofaformundertheclothes，butthefacewashidbythehangings:thenurseIhadspokentointhegardensatinaneasy—chairasleep;anunsnuffedcandleburntdimlyonthetable。MissTemplewasnottobeseen:I
knewafterwardsthatshehadbeencalledtoadeliriouspatientinthefever—room。Iadvanced;thenpausedbythecribside:myhandwasonthecurtain，butIpreferredspeakingbeforeIwithdrewit。Istillrecoiledatthedreadofseeingacorpse。
\'Helen！\'Iwhisperedsoftly，\'areyouawake？\'
Shestirredherself，putbackthecurtain，andIsawherface，pale，wasted，butquitecomposed:shelookedsolittlechangedthatmyfearwasinstantlydissipated。
\'Canitbeyou，Jane？\'sheasked，inherowngentlevoice。
\'Oh！\'Ithought，\'sheisnotgoingtodie;theyaremistaken:
shecouldnotspeakandlooksocalmlyifshewere。\'
Igotontohercribandkissedher:herforeheadwascold，andhercheekbothcoldandthin，andsowereherhandandwrist;butshesmiledasofold。
\'Whyareyoucomehere，Jane？Itispasteleveno\'clock:
Ihearditstrikesomeminutessince。\'
\'Icametoseeyou，Helen:Iheardyouwereveryill，andIcouldnotsleeptillIhadspokentoyou。\'
\'Youcametobidmegood—bye，then:youarejustintimeprobably。\'
\'Areyougoingsomewhere，Helen？Areyougoinghome？\'
\'Yes;tomylonghome—mylasthome。\'
\'No，no，Helen！\'Istopped，distressed。WhileItriedtodevourmytears，afitofcoughingseizedHelen;itdidnot，however，wakethenurse;whenitwasover，shelaysomeminutesexhausted;thenshewhispered—
\'Jane，yourlittlefeetarebare;liedownandcoveryourselfwithmyquilt。\'
Ididso:sheputherarmoverme，andInestledclosetoher。
Afteralongsilence，sheresumed，stillwhispering—
\'Iamveryhappy，Jane;andwhenyouhearthatIamdead，youmustbesureandnotgrieve:thereisnothingtogrieveabout。Weallmustdieoneday，andtheillnesswhichisremovingmeisnotpainful;itisgentleandgradual:mymindisatrest。Ileavenoonetoregretmemuch:Ihaveonlyafather;andheislatelymarried，andwillnotmissme。Bydyingyoung，Ishallescapegreatsufferings。
Ihadnotqualitiesortalentstomakemywayverywellintheworld:Ishouldhavebeencontinuallyatfault。\'
\'Butwhereareyougoingto，Helen？Canyousee？Doyouknow？\'
\'Ibelieve;Ihavefaith:IamgoingtoGod。\'
\'WhereisGod？WhatisGod？\'
\'MyMakerandyours，whowillneverdestroywhatHecreated。
IrelyimplicitlyonHispower，andconfidewhollyinHisgoodness:IcountthehourstillthateventfulonearriveswhichshallrestoremetoHim，revealHimtome。\'
\'Youaresure，then，Helen，thatthereissuchaplaceasheaven，andthatoursoulscangettoitwhenwedie？\'
\'Iamsurethereisafuturestate;IbelieveGodisgood;
IcanresignmyimmortalparttoHimwithoutanymisgiving。Godismyfather;Godismyfriend:IloveHim;IbelieveHelovesme。\'
\'AndshallIseeyouagain，Helen，whenIdie？\'
\'Youwillcometothesameregionofhappiness:bereceivedbythesamemighty，universalParent，nodoubt，dearJane。\'
AgainIquestioned，butthistimeonlyinthought。\'Whereisthatregion？Doesitexist？\'AndIclaspedmyarmscloseraroundHelen;sheseemeddearertomethanever;IfeltasifIcouldnotlethergo;
Ilaywithmyfacehiddenonherneck。Presentlyshesaid，inthesweetesttone—
\'HowcomfortableIam！Thatlastfitofcoughinghastiredmealittle;IfeelasifIcouldsleep:butdon\'tleaveme，Jane;Iliketohaveyounearme。\'
\'I\'llstaywithyou，dearHelen:nooneshalltakemeaway。\'
\'Areyouwarm，darling？\'
\'Yes。\'
\'Good—night，Jane。\'
\'Good—night，Helen。\'
Shekissedme，andIher，andwebothsoonslumbered。
WhenIawokeitwasday:anunusualmovementrousedme;
Ilookedup;Iwasinsomebody\'sarms;thenurseheldme;shewascarryingmethroughthepassagebacktothedormitory。Iwasnotreprimandedforleavingmybed;peoplehadsomethingelsetothinkabout;noexplanationwasaffordedthentomymanyquestions;butadayortwoafterwardsIlearnedthatMissTemple，onreturningtoherownroomatdawn，hadfoundmelaidinthelittlecrib;myfaceagainstHelenBurns\'sshoulder，myarmsroundherneck。Iwasasleep，andHelenwas—
dead。
HergraveisinBrocklebridgechurchyard:forfifteenyearsafterherdeathitwasonlycoveredbyagrassymound;butnowagreymarbletabletmarksthespot，inscribedwithhername，andtheword\'Resurgam。\'
chapter10CHAPTERX
HITHERTOIhaverecordedindetailtheeventsofmyinsignificantexistence:tothefirsttenyearsofmylifeIhavegivenalmostasmanychapters。Butthisisnottobearegularautobiography:IamonlyboundtoinvokeMemorywhereIknowherresponseswillpossesssomedegreeofinterest;thereforeInowpassaspaceofeightyearsalmostinsilence:afewlinesonlyarenecessarytokeepupthelinksofconnection。
WhenthetyphusfeverhadfulfilleditsmissionofdevastationatLowood，itgraduallydisappearedfromthence;butnottillitsvirulenceandthenumberofitsvictimshaddrawnpublicattentionontheschool。Inquirywasmadeintotheoriginofthescourge，andbydegreesvariousfactscameoutwhichexcitedpublicindignationinahighdegree。Theunhealthynatureofthesite;thequantityandqualityofthechildren\'sfood;thebrackish，fetidwaterusedinitspreparation;thepupils\'wretchedclothingandaccommodations—allthesethingswerediscovered，andthediscoveryproducedaresultmortifyingtoMr。Brocklehurst，butbeneficialtotheinstitution。
Severalwealthyandbenevolentindividualsinthecountysubscribedlargelyfortheerectionofamoreconvenientbuildinginabettersituation;newregulationsweremade;improvementsindietandclothingintroduced;thefundsoftheschoolwereintrustedtothemanagementofacommittee。Mr。Brocklehurst，who，fromhiswealthandfamilyconnections，couldnotbeoverlooked，stillretainedthepostoftreasurer;buthewasaidedinthedischargeofhisdutiesbygentlemenofrathermoreenlargedandsympathisingminds:hisofficeofinspector，too，wassharedbythosewhoknewhowtocombinereasonwithstrictness，comfortwitheconomy，compassionwithuprightness。Theschool，thusimproved，becameintimeatrulyusefulandnobleinstitution。Iremainedaninmateofitswalls，afteritsregeneration，foreightyears:sixaspupil，andtwoasteacher;
andinbothcapacitiesIbearmytestimonytoitsvalueandimportance。
Duringtheseeightyearsmylifewasuniform:butnotunhappy，becauseitwasnotinactive。Ihadthemeansofanexcellenteducationplacedwithinmyreach;afondnessforsomeofmystudies，andadesiretoexcelinall，togetherwithagreatdelightinpleasingmyteachers，especiallysuchasIloved，urgedmeon:Iavailedmyselffullyoftheadvantagesofferedme。IntimeIrosetobethefirstgirlofthefirstclass;thenIwasinvestedwiththeofficeofteacher;whichIdischargedwithzealfortwoyears:butattheendofthattimeIaltered。
MissTemple，throughallchanges，hadthusfarcontinuedsuperintendentoftheseminary:toherinstructionIowedthebestpartofmyacquirements;herfriendshipandsocietyhadbeenmycontinualsolace;shehadstoodmeinthesteadofmother，governess，and，latterly，companion。Atthisperiodshemarried，removedwithherhusband（aclergyman，anexcellentman，almostworthyofsuchawife）toadistantcounty，andconsequentlywaslosttome。
FromthedaysheleftIwasnolongerthesame:withherwasgoneeverysettledfeeling，everyassociationthathadmadeLowoodinsomedegreeahometome。Ihadimbibedfromhersomethingofhernatureandmuchofherhabits:moreharmoniousthoughts:whatseemedbetterregulatedfeelingshadbecometheinmatesofmymind。Ihadgiveninallegiancetodutyandorder;Iwasquiet;IbelievedIwascontent:totheeyesofothers，usuallyeventomyown，Iappearedadisciplinedandsubduedcharacter。
Butdestiny，intheshapeoftheRev。Mr。Nasmyth，camebetweenmeandMissTemple:Isawherinhertravellingdressstepintoapost—chaise，shortlyafterthemarriageceremony;Iwatchedthechaisemountthehillanddisappearbeyonditsbrow;andthenretiredtomyownroom，andtherespentinsolitudethegreatestpartofthehalf—holidaygrantedinhonouroftheoccasion。
Iwalkedaboutthechambermostofthetime。Iimaginedmyselfonlytoberegrettingmyloss，andthinkinghowtorepairit;butwhenmyreflectionswereconcluded，andIlookedupandfoundthattheafternoonwasgone，andeveningfaradvanced，anotherdiscoverydawnedonme，namely，thatintheintervalIhadundergoneatransformingprocess;thatmymindhadputoffallithadborrowedofMissTemple—orratherthatshehadtakenwithherthesereneatmosphereIhadbeenbreathinginhervicinity—andthatnowIwasleftinmynaturalelement，andbeginningtofeelthestirringofoldemotions。
Itdidnotseemasifapropwerewithdrawn，butratherasifamotiveweregone:itwasnotthepowertobetranquilwhichhadfailedme，butthereasonfortranquillitywasnomore。MyworldhadforsomeyearsbeeninLowood:myexperiencehadbeenofitsrulesandsystems;
nowIrememberedthattherealworldwaswide，andthatavariedfieldofhopesandfears，ofsensationsandexcitements，awaitedthosewhohadcouragetogoforthintoitsexpanse，toseekrealknowledgeoflifeamidstitsperils。
Iwenttomywindow，openedit，andlookedout。Therewerethetwowingsofthebuilding;therewasthegarden;thereweretheskirtsofLowood;therewasthehillyhorizon。Myeyepassedallotherobjectstorestonthosemostremote，thebluepeaks;itwasthoseI
longedtosurmount;allwithintheirboundaryofrockandheathseemedprison—ground，exilelimits。Itracedthewhiteroadwindingroundthebaseofonemountain，andvanishinginagorgebetweentwo;howI
longedtofollowitfarther！IrecalledthetimewhenIhadtravelledthatveryroadinacoach;Iremembereddescendingthathillattwilight;anageseemedtohaveelapsedsincethedaywhichbroughtmefirsttoLowood，andIhadneverquitteditsince。Myvacationshadallbeenspentatschool:Mrs。ReedhadneversentformetoGateshead;neithershenoranyofherfamilyhadeverbeentovisitme。Ihadhadnocommunicationbyletterormessagewiththeouterworld:school—rules，school—duties，school—habitsandnotions，andvoices，andfaces，andphrases，andcostumes，andpreferences，andantipathies—suchwaswhatIknewofexistence。AndnowIfeltthatitwasnotenough;Itiredoftheroutineofeightyearsinoneafternoon。Idesiredliberty;forlibertyIgasped;forlibertyI
utteredaprayer;itseemedscatteredonthewindthenfaintlyblowing。Iabandoneditandframedahumblersupplication;forchange，stimulus:thatpetition，too，seemedsweptoffintovaguespace:
\'Then，\'Icried，halfdesperate，\'grantmeatleastanewservitude！\'
Hereabell，ringingthehourofsupper，calledmedownstairs。
Iwasnotfreetoresumetheinterruptedchainofmyreflectionstillbedtime:eventhenateacherwhooccupiedthesameroomwithmekeptmefromthesubjecttowhichIlongedtorecur，byaprolongedeffusionofsmalltalk。HowIwishedsleepwouldsilenceher。Itseemedasif，couldIbutgobacktotheideawhichhadlastenteredmymindasIstoodatthewindow，someinventivesuggestionwouldriseformyrelief。
MissGrycesnoredatlast;shewasaheavyWelsh—woman，andtillnowherhabitualnasalstrainshadneverbeenregardedbymeinanyotherlightthanasanuisance;to—nightIhailedthefirstdeepnoteswithsatisfaction;Iwasdebarrassedofinterruption;myhalf—effacedthoughtinstantlyrevived。
\'Anewservitude！Thereissomethinginthat，\'Isoliloquised（mentally，beitunderstood;Ididnottalkaloud）。\'Iknowthereis，becauseitdoesnotsoundtoosweet;itisnotlikesuchwordsasLiberty，Excitement，Enjoyment:delightfulsoundstruly;butnomorethansoundsforme;andsohollowandfleetingthatitismerewasteoftimetolistentothem。ButServitude！Thatmustbematteroffact。Anyonemayserve:Ihaveservedhereeightyears;nowallI
wantistoserveelsewhere。CanInotgetsomuchofmyownwill？Isnotthethingfeasible？Yes—yes—theendisnotsodifficult;ifI
hadonlyabrainactiveenoughtoferretoutthemeansofattainingit。\'
Isatupinbedbywayofarousingthissaidbrain:itwasachillynight;Icoveredmyshoulderswithashawl，andthenIproceededtothinkagainwithallmymight。
\'WhatdoIwant？Anewplace，inanewhouse，amongstnewfaces，undernewcircumstances:Iwantthisbecauseitisofnousewantinganythingbetter。Howdopeopledotogetanewplace？Theyapplytofriends，Isuppose:Ihavenofriends。Therearemanyotherswhohavenofriends，whomustlookaboutforthemselvesandbetheirownhelpers;andwhatistheirresource？\'
Icouldnottell:nothingansweredme;Ithenorderedmybraintofindaresponse，andquickly。Itworkedandworkedfaster:Ifeltthepulsesthrobinmyheadandtemples;butfornearlyanhouritworkedinchaos;andnoresultcameofitsefforts。Feverishwithvainlabour，Igotupandtookaturnintheroom;undrewthecurtain，notedastarortwo，shiveredwithcold，andagaincrepttobed。
Akindfairy，inmyabsence，hadsurelydroppedtherequiredsuggestiononmypillow;forasIlaydown，itcamequietlyandnaturallytomymind:—\'Thosewhowantsituationsadvertise;you\'How？Iknownothingaboutadvertising。\'
Repliesrosesmoothandpromptnow:—
\'YoumustenclosetheadvertisementandthemoneytopayforitunderacoverdirectedtotheeditoroftheHerald;youmustputit，thefirstopportunityyouhave，intothepostatLowton;answersmustbeaddressedtoJ。E。，atthepost—officethere;youcangoandinquireinaboutaweekafteryousendyourletter，ifanyarecome，andactaccordingly。\'
ThisschemeIwentovertwice，thrice;itwasthendigestedinmymind;Ihaditinaclearpracticalform:Ifeltsatisfied，andfellasleep。
Withearliestday，Iwasup:Ihadmyadvertisementwritten，enclosed，anddirectedbeforethebellrangtorousetheschool;itranthus:—
\'Ayoungladyaccustomedtotuition\'（hadInotbeenateachertwoyears？）\'isdesirousofmeetingwithasituationinaprivatefamilywherethechildrenareunderfourteen\'（IthoughtthatasIwasbarelyeighteen，itwouldnotdotoundertaketheguidanceofpupilsnearermyownage）。\'SheisqualifiedtoteachtheusualbranchesofagoodEnglisheducation，togetherwithFrench，Drawing，andMusic\'
（inthosedays，reader，thisnownarrowcatalogueofaccomplishments，wouldhavebeenheldtolerablycomprehensive）。
Thisdocumentremainedlockedinmydrawerallday:aftertea，I
askedleaveofthenewsuperintendenttogotoLowton，inordertoperformsomesmallcommissionsformyselfandoneortwoofmyfellow—teachers;permissionwasreadilygranted;Iwent。Itwasawalkoftwomiles，andtheeveningwaswet，butthedayswerestilllong;
I
visitedashoportwo，slippedtheletterintothepost—office，andcamebackthroughheavyrain，withstreaminggarments，butwitharelievedheart。
Thesucceedingweekseemedlong:itcametoanendatlast，however，likeallsublunarythings，andoncemore，towardsthecloseofapleasantautumnday，IfoundmyselfafootontheroadtoLowton。Apicturesquetrackitwas，bytheway;lyingalongthesideofthebeckandthroughthesweetestcurvesofthedale:butthatdayIthoughtmoreoftheletters，thatmightormightnotbeawaitingmeatthelittleburghwhitherIwasbound，thanofthecharmsofleaandwater。
Myostensibleerrandonthisoccasionwastogetmeasuredforapairofshoes;soIdischargedthatbusinessfirst，andwhenitwasdone，Isteppedacrossthecleanandquietlittlestreetfromtheshoemaker\'stothepost—office:itwaskeptbyanolddame，whoworehornspectaclesonhernose，andblackmittensonherhands。
\'ArethereanylettersforJ。E。？\'Iasked。
Shepeeredatmeoverherspectacles，andthensheopenedadrawerandfumbledamongitscontentsforalongtime，solongthatmyhopesbegantofalter。Atlast，havingheldadocumentbeforeherglassesfornearlyfiveminutes，shepresenteditacrossthecounter，accompanyingtheactbyanotherinquisitiveandmistrustfulglance—itwasforJ。E。
\'Isthereonlyone？\'Idemanded。
\'Therearenomore，\'saidshe;andIputitinmypocketandturnedmyfacehomeward:Icouldnotopenitthen;rulesobligedmetobebackbyeight，anditwasalreadyhalf—pastseven。
Variousdutiesawaitedmeonmyarrival:Ihadtositwiththegirlsduringtheirhourofstudy;thenitwasmyturntoreadprayers;
toseethemtobed:afterwardsIsuppedwiththeotherteachers。
Evenwhenwefinallyretiredforthenight，theinevitableMissGrycewasstillmycompanion:wehadonlyashortendofcandleinourcandlestick，andIdreadedlestsheshouldtalktillitwasallburntout;fortunately，however，theheavysuppershehadeatenproducedasoporificeffect:shewasalreadysnoringbeforeIhadfinishedundressing。Therestillremainedaninchofcandle:Inowtookoutmyletter;thesealwasaninitialF。;Ibrokeit;thecontentswerebrief。
Thursday，possessestheacquirementsmentioned，andifsheisinapositiontogivesatisfactoryreferencesastocharacterandcompetency，asituationcanbeofferedherwherethereisbutonepupil，alittlegirl，undertenyearsofage;andwherethesalaryisthirtypoundsperannum。J。E。isrequestedtosendreferences，name，address，andallparticularstothedirection:—
Iexaminedthedocumentlong:thewritingwasold—fashionedandratheruncertain，likethatofanelderlylady。Thiscircumstancewassatisfactory:aprivatefearhadhauntedme，thatinthusactingformyself，andbymyownguidance，Irantheriskofgettingintosomescrape;and，aboveallthings，Iwishedtheresultofmyendeavourstoberespectable，proper，enregle。InowfeltthatanelderlyladywasnobadingredientinthebusinessIhadonhand。Mrs。
Fairfax！Isawherinablackgownandwidow\'scap;frigid，perhaps，butnotuncivil:amodelofelderlyEnglishrespectability。
Thornfield！that，doubtless，wasthenameofherhouse:aneatorderlyspot，Iwassure;thoughIfailedinmyeffortstoconceivearecollectionsofthemapofEngland;yes，Isawit;boththeshireandcountywhereInowresided:thatwasarecommendationtome。I
longedtogowheretherewaslifeandmovement:Millcotewasalargedoubtless:somuchthebetter;itwouldbeacompletechangeatleast。
Notthatmyfancywasmuchcaptivatedbytheideaoflongchimneysandcloudsofsmoke—\'but，\'Iargued，\'Thornfieldwill，probably，beagoodwayfromthetown。\'
Herethesocketofthecandledropped，andthewickwentout。
Nextdaynewstepsweretobetaken;myplanscouldnolongerbeconfinedtomyownbreast;Imustimparttheminordertoachievetheirsuccess。Havingsoughtandobtainedanaudienceofthesuperintendentduringthenoontiderecreation，ItoldherIhadaprospectofgettinganewsituationwherethesalarywouldbedoublewhatInowreceived（foratLowoodIonlygotL15perannum）;andrequestedshewouldbreakthematterformetoMr。Brocklehurst，orsomeofthecommittee，andascertainwhethertheywouldpermitmetomentionthemasreferences。Sheobliginglyconsentedtoactasmediatrixinthematter。ThenextdayshelaidtheaffairbeforeMr。
Brocklehurst，whosaidthatMrs。Reedmustbewrittento，asshewasmynaturalguardian。Anotewasaccordinglyaddressedtothatlady，whoreturnedforanswer，that\'ImightdoasIpleased:shehadlongrelinquishedallinterferenceinmyaffairs。\'Thisnotewenttheroundofthecommittee，andatlast，afterwhatappearedtomemosttediousdelay，formalleavewasgivenmetobettermyconditionifI
could;andanassuranceadded，thatasIhadalwaysconductedmyselfwell，bothasteacherandpupil，atLowood，atestimonialofcharacterandcapacity，signedbytheinspectorsofthatinstitution，shouldforthwithbefurnishedme。
ThistestimonialIaccordinglyreceivedinaboutamonth，forwardedacopyofittoMrs。Fairfax，andgotthatlady\'sreply，statingthatshewassatisfied，andfixingthatdayfortnightastheperiodformyassumingthepostofgovernessinherhouse。
Inowbusiedmyselfinpreparations:thefortnightpassedrapidly。Ihadnotaverylargewardrobe，thoughitwasadequatetomywants;andthelastdaysufficedtopackmytrunk，—thesameIhadbroughtwithmeeightyearsagofromGateshead。
Theboxwascorded，thecardnailedon。InhalfanhourthecarrierwastocallforittotakeittoLowton，whitherImyselfwastorepairatanearlyhourthenextmorningtomeetthecoach。Ihadbrushedmyblackstufftravelling—dress，preparedmybonnet，gloves，andmuff;soughtinallmydrawerstoseethatnoarticlewasleftbehind;andnowhavingnothingmoretodo，Isatdownandtriedtorest。Icouldnot;thoughIhadbeenonfootallday，Icouldnotnowreposeaninstant;Iwastoomuchexcited。Aphaseofmylifewasclosingtonight，anewoneopeningto—morrow:impossibletoslumberintheinterval;Imustwatchfeverishlywhilethechangewasbeingaccomplished。
\'Miss，\'saidaservantwhometmeinthelobby，whereI
waswanderinglikeatroubledspirit，\'apersonbelowwishestoseeyou。\'
\'Thecarrier，nodoubt，\'Ithought，andrandownstairswithoutinquiry。Iwaspassingtheback—parlourorteachers\'sitting—room，thedoorofwhichwashalfopen，togotothekitchen，whensomeoneranout—
\'It\'sher，Iamsure！—Icouldhavetoldheranywhere！\'
criedtheindividualwhostoppedmyprogressandtookmyhand。