\"Ah,s\'y!\"heexclaimedintheteethofthemenacinghordes.\"Standback,carn\'tyer?I\'llbashyerfacein,Johnny.Whoseboatisthis?\"
ShallitbewhisperedthatIregrettedhisbelligerency?Here,intruth,wasthedramastaged,——mydrama,hadIonlybeenabletorealizeit.Thegoodshipbeached,theheadhuntershemmingusinonallsides,thescenepreparedforoneofthosestrugglesagainstfrightfuloddswhichIhadsographicallyrelatedasanessentialpartofouradventures.
\"Let\'srollthecussinthefancycollar,\"proposedoneofthehead-
hunters,——meaningme.
\"I\'llstoveyerslatsifyertouchhim,\"saidGrits,andthenresortedtoappeal.\"Is\'y,carn\'tyerstandbackandletachap\'aveacharnst?\"
Thehead-huntersonlyjeered.AndwhatshallbesaidoftheCaptaininthismomentofperil?Shallitbetoldthathisheartwasbeatingwildly?——bumpingwereabetterword.HewastryingtorememberthathewastheCaptain.Otherwise,hemustadmitwithshamethathe,too,shouldhavefled.Somuchforromancewhenthetestcomes.Willheremaintofallfightingforhisship?LikeHoratius,heglancedupatthehill,where,insteadoftheporchofthehomewherehewouldfainhavebeen,hebeheldawispofagirlstandingalone,herhatonthebackofherhead,herhairflyinginthewind,gazingintentlydownathiminhisdanger.Therenegadecrewwasnowheretobeseen.Therearethosewhodemandthepresenceofawomaninordertobeheroes
\"Giveusachance,can\'tyou?\"hecried,repeatingGrits\'sappealinnotquitesuchastentoriantoneashewouldhaveliked,whilehishandtrembledonthegunwale.TomPeters,itmustbeacknowledged,wasmuchmoreofabuccaneerwhenitwasaquestionofdeeds,forheplantedhimselfinthewayofthebelligerentchiefofthehead-hunterswhospokewithadecidedbrogue.
\"Getoutoftheway!\"saidTom,withalittlesqueakinhisvoice.Yettherehewas,andhedeservesatribute.
Anunlooked-fordiversionsavedusfromannihilation,intheshapeofonewhohadatalentforcreatingthem.Wewerebewilderinglyawareofagirlishfigureamongstus.
\"Youcowards!\"shecried.\"Youcowards!\"
Lithe,andfairlyquiveringwithpassion,itwasNancywhoshowedushowtofacethehead-hunters.Theygaveback.Theywouldhavebeenbraveindeediftheyhadnotretreatedbeforesuchanintenselittlenucleusofenergyandindignation!
\"Ah,give\'emachanst,\"saidtheirchief,afteramomentHeevenhelpedtopushtheboattowardsthewater.ButhedidnotvolunteertobeoneofthosetomanthePetrelonhermaidenvoyage.NordidLogan\'spond,thatwildMarchday,greatlyresembletheSouthSeas.
Nevertheless,myeyeonNancy,Isteppedproudlyaboardandseizedan\"oar.\"GritsandTomfollowed,——whensuddenlythePetrelsankconsiderablybelowthewater-lineasherbuildershadestimatedit.Erewefullyrealizedthis,thenowfriendlyhead-huntershadgivenusashove,andwewereoff!TheCaptain,whoshouldhavebeenwavinggood-
byetohisladylovefromthepoop,satdownabruptly,——thecrewlikewise;not,however,beforeshehadheeledtothescuppers,andahalf-bucketoficedwaterhadrunit.Head-huntersweremeredailyepisodesinGrits\'sexistence,butwaterHemutteredsomethingincockneythatsoundedlikeaprayerThewindwasrapidlydrivingustowardthemiddleofthepond,andsomethingcoldandticklishwasseepingthroughtheseatsofourtrousers.Wesatlikestatues
Thebrightsceneetcheditselfinmymemory——thebarebrownslopeswithwhichthepondwasbordered,theIrishshanties,theclothes-lineswithredflannelshirtssnappinginthebitingwind;Nancymotionlessonthebank;thegroupbehindher,silentnow,impressedinspiteofitselfatthesightofourintrepidity.
ThePetrelwassailingsternfirstWouldanyofus,indeed,everseehomeagain?Ithoughtofmyfather\'swrathturnedtosorrowbecausehehadrefusedtogratifyason\'snaturalwishandpresenthimwitharealrowboatOutofthecornersofoureyeswewatchedthewatercreepingaroundthegunwale,andtheverymuddinessofitseemedtoenhanceitscoldness,tomakethehorrorsofitsdepthsmoremysteriousandhideous.
ThevoiceofGritsstartledus.
\"OGawd,\"hewassaying,\"we\'rea-goingtosink,andIcarn\'tswim!Theblarstedtar\'sgivewaybackhere.\"
\"Issheleaking?\"Icried.
\"She\'sa-fillinguplikeabathtub,\"helamented.
Slowlybutperceptibly,intruth,thebowwasrising,andabovethewhistlingofthewindIcouldhearhischatteringasshesettled
Thenseveralthingshappenedsimultaneously:anagonizedcrybehindme,distantshoutsfromtheshore,asuddenupwardlungeofthebow,andthetortureofbeingsubmerged,inchbyinch,intheicy,yellowwater.
Despitethesplashingbehindme,IsatasthoughparalyzeduntilIwaswaistdeepandtheboardsturnedunderme,andthen,withaspasmodiccontractionofmywholebeingIstruckout——onlytofindmyfeetonthemuddybottom.SuchwastheingloriousendofthegoodshipPetrel!Forshewentdown,withallhands,inlittlemorethanhalfafathomofwaterItwasnotuntilthenIrealizedthatwehadbeenblownclearacrossthepond!
Figureswererunningalongtheshore.AndasTomandIemergeddraggingGritsbetweenus,——forhemighthavebeendrownedthereabjectlyintheshallows,——weweremetbyastoutandbare-armedIrishwomanwhosescantyhair,Iremember,wasdrawnintoatightknotbehindherhead;andwhoseizedus,allthree,asthoughwewereabunchofcarrots.
\"Comealongwidye!\"shecried.
Shivering,wefollowedherupthehill,thespectatorsofthetragedy,whobythistimehadcomearoundthepond,trailingafter.Nancywasnotamongthem.Insidetheshantyintowhichwewerethrustweretwosmallchildrencrawlingaboutthefloor,andtheplacewasfilledwithsteamfromawash-tubagainstthewallandaboileronthestove.Withavigorousinjunctiontomakethemselvesscarce,theIrishwomanslammedthedoorinthefacesofthecuriousandorderedustoremoveourclothes.
Gritswasputtobedinacorner,whileTomandI,providedwithvariousgarments,huddledoverthestove.TherefelltomylottheredflannelshirtwhichIhadseenontheclothes-line.Shegaveushotcoffee,andwasbackatherwash-tubinnotimeatall,herentirecommentonaproceedingthatseemedtoTomandmetohavecertainelementsofgravitybeing,\"By\'swillbeby\'s!\"Thefinalironicaltouchwasgiventheanti-
climaxwhenourrescuerturnedouttobethemotherofthechiefofthehead-huntershimself!Hehadlingeredperforcewithhisbrothersandsisteroutsidethecabinuntildinnertime,andwhenhecameinhewasmeekasMoses.
Thusthereadyhospitalityofthepoor,whichpassedovertheheadsofTomandmeasweatebreadandonionsandpotatoeswitharavenoushunger.Itmusthavebeenabouttwoo\'clockintheafternoonwhenwebadegood-byetoourpreserveranddepartedforhome
Atfirstwewentatadog-trot,butpresentlysloweddowntodiscussthefutureloomingportentouslyaheadofus.Sinceentireconcealmentwasnowimpossible,thequestionwas,——howcompleteaconfessionwouldbenecessary?Ourcases,indeed,weredissimilar,andTom\'sincentivetoholdbackthefactswasnotnearlysogreatasmine.ItsometimesseemedtomeinthosedaysunjustthatthePeterseswereableonthewholetokeepoutofcriminaldifficulties,inwhichIwasmoreorlesscontinuouslyinvolved:foritdidnotstrikemethattheirsinswerenotthoseoftheimagination.ThemethodofTom\'sfatherwastheslipper.
HeandTomunderstoodeachother,whilebetweenmyfatherandmyselfwasagreatgulffixed.NotthatTomyearnedfortheslipper;butheregardeditsoccasionalapplicationsasbeingasinevitableaschangesintheweather;lyingdidnotcomeeasilytohim,andlefttohimselfhemuchpreferredtoconfessandhavethematteroverwith.IhavealreadysuggestedthatIhadcultivatedlying,thatweaponoftheweakerparty,insomedegree,atleast,inself-defence.
Tomwasloyal.Moreover,myconvictionwouldprobablydeprivehimforsixwholeafternoonsofmycompany,onwhichhewasmoreorlessdependent.Butthedefenceofthiscasepresentedunusualdifficulties,andwestoppedseveraltimestothrashthemout.Wehadbeenabsentfromdinner,anddoubtlessbythistimeJuliahadinformedTom\'smotheroftheexpedition,andanyonecouldseethatourclothinghadbeenwet.SoI
lingeredinnolittleanxietybehindthePetersstablewhilehemadetheinvestigation.OurspiritsroseconsiderablywhenhereturnedtoreportthatJuliahadunexpectedlybeenatrump,havingquietedhismotherbythesurmisethathewasspendingthedaywithhisAuntFanny.Sofar,sogood.Theproblemnowwastodecideuponwhattoadmit.Forwemustbothtellthesamestory.
ItwasagreedthatwehadfallenintoLogan\'sPondfromaraft:mysuggestion.Well,saidTom,thePetrelhadn\'tprovedmuchbetterthanaraft,afterall.Iwasinnomoodtodefendher.
ThisdesignationofthePetrelasa\"raft\"wasmyfirstlegalquibble.
Thequestiontobedecidedbythecourtwas,Whatisaraft?justasthesupremetribunalofthelandhasbeenrequired,inlateryears,todecide,Whatiswhiskey?Thethingtobeconcealedifpossiblewasthebuildingofthe\"raft,\"althoughthisinformationwasalreadyinthepossessionofanumberofpersons,whosefathersmightatanymomentseefittocongratulatemyownonbeingtheparentofagenius.Itwasarisk,however,thathadtoberun.And,secondly,sinceGritsJarviswascontraband,nothingwastobesaidabouthim.
Ihavenotsaidmuchaboutmymother,whomighthavebeenlikenedonsuchoccasionstoagrandjurycompelledtoindict,yettornbetweenloyaltytoanoathandsympathywiththedefendant.IwentthroughthePetersyard,climbedthewirefence,myobjectbeingtodiscoverfirstfromElla,thehousemaid,orHannah,thecook,howmuchwasknowninhighquarters.ItwasHannahwho,asIopenedthekitchendoor,turnedatthesound,andsetdownthesaucepanshewasscouring.
\"Isithomeyeare?Mercytogoodness!\"thisonbeholdingmyshrunkencostume\"GlorybetoGodyou\'renotdrownded!andyourmotherworritin\'
herheartout!Soit\'sintothewatheryewere?\"
Iadmittedit.
\"Hannah?\"Isaidsoftly.
\"Whatthen?\"
\"Doesmotherknow——abouttheboat?\"
\"Nowdon\'tyebewheedlin\'.\"
Imanagedtodiscover,however,thatmymotherdidnotknow,andsurmisedthatthebestreasonwhyshehadnotbeentoldhadtodowithHannah\'scriminalacquiescenceconcerningtheoperationsintheshed.Iranintothefronthallandupthestairs,andmymotherheardmecomingandmetmeonthelanding.
\"Hugh,wherehaveyoubeen?\"
AsIemergedfromthesemi-darknessofthestairwayshecaughtsightofmydwindledgarments,ofthetrouserswellabovemyankles.Suddenlyshehadmeinherarmsandwaskissingmepassionately.Asshestoodbeforemeinhergrey,beltedskirt,thefamiliarred-and-whitecameoatherthroat,herheavyhairpartedinthemiddle,inhereyeswasanodd,appealinglookwhichIknownowwasasignofmotherlovestrugglingwithaPresbyterianconscience.Thoughsheinheritedthatconscience,Ihaveoftenthoughtshemighthavesucceededincastingitoff——oratleastsomeofit——haditnotbeenforthefactthatinspiteofherselfsheworshippeditsincarnationintheshapeofmyfather.Hervoicetrembledalittleasshedrewmetothesofabesidethewindow.
\"Tellmeaboutwhathappened,myson,\"shesaid.
Itwasaterriblemomentforme.Formyaffectionswerestillquiveringlyaliveinthosedays,andIlovedher.Ihadforaninstantaninstinctiveimpulsetotellherthewholestory,——SouthSeaIslandsandall!AndIcouldhavedoneithadInotbeheldloomingbehindheranotherfigurewhichrepresentedasternandunsympatheticAuthority,andsomehowmadeher,suddenly,ofsmallaccount.Notthatshewouldhaveunderstoodtheromance,butshewouldhavecomprehendedme.Iknewthatshewaspowerlesstosavemefromthewrathtocome.Iwept.ItwasbecauseIhatedtolietoher,——yetIdidso.Feargrippedme,and——likesomerespectablecriminalsIhavesinceknown——IunderstoodthatanyconfessionImadewouldinexorablybeusedagainstmeIwonderwhethersheknewIwaslying?Atanyrate,thecaseappearedtobeagraveone,andIwaspresentlyremandedtomyroomtobeheldoverfortrial
Vividly,asIwrite,IrecallthemiseryofthehoursIhavespent,whileawaitingsentence,inthelittlechamberwiththehoneysucklewall-paperandsteelengravingsofhappybutdumpychildrenrompinginthefieldsandgroves.OnthisparticularMarchafternoontheweatherhadbecomemorne,astheFrenchsay;andIlookeddownsadlyintothegreybackyardwhichthewindofthemorninghadstrewnwithchipsfromthePetrel.Atlast,whenshadowsweregatheringinthecornersoftheroom,Iheardfootsteps.Ellaappeared,primandvirtuous,yetalittlecommiserating.
Myfatherwishedtoseeme,downstairs.Itwasnotthefirsttimeshehadbroughtthatsummons,andalwayshermannerwasthesame!
Thesceneofmytrialswasalwaysthesittingroom,linedwithgrimbooksintheirwalnutcases.Andmyfathersat,likeajudge,behindthebigdeskwherehedidhisworkwhenathome.Oh,thedistancebetweenusatsuchanhour!IenteredasdelicatelyasAgag,andtheexpressioninhiseyeseemedtoconvictmebeforeIcouldopenmymouth.
\"Hugh,\"hesaid,\"yourmothertellsmethatyouhaveconfessedtogoing,withoutpermission,toLogan\'sPond,whereyouembarkedonaraftandfellintothewater.\"
Theslightemphasishecontrivedtoputonthewordraftsentacoldershiverdownmyspinethantheicedwaterhaddone.Whatdidheknow?orwasthismeresuspicion?Toolate,now,atanyrate,topleadguilty.
\"Itwasasortofaraft,sir,\"Istammered.
\"Asortofaraft,\"repeatedmyfather.\"Where,mayIask,didyoufindit?\"
\"I——Ididn\'texactlyfindit,sir.\"
\"Ah!\"saidmyfather.Itwasthemomenttoglancemeaninglyatthejury.Theprisonergulped.\"Youdidn\'texactlyfindit,then.Willyoukindlyexplainhowyoucamebyit?\"
\"Well,sir,we——I——putittogether.\"
\"Haveyouanyobjectiontostating,Hugh,inplainEnglish,thatyoumadeit?\"
\"No,sir,IsupposeyoumightsaythatImadeit.\"
\"Orthatitwasintendedforarow-boat?\"
Herewasthetimetoappeal,toforceadecisionastowhatconstitutedarow-boat.
\"Perhapsitmightbecalledarow-boat,sir,\"Isaidabjectly.
\"Orthat,indirectoppositiontomywishesandcommandsinforbiddingyoutohaveaboat,tospendyourmoneyfoolishlyandwickedlyonawhim,youconstructedonesecretlyinthewoodshed,tookoutapartofthebackpartition,thusdestroyingpropertythatdid,notbelongtoyou,andhadtheboatcartedthismorningtoLogan\'sPond?\"
Iwassilent,utterlyundone.Evidentlyhehadspecificinformation
Therearecertainexpressionsthatare,attimes,morethanmerefiguresofspeech,andnowmyfather\'swrathseemedliterallytowering.Itaddedvisiblytohisstature.
\"Hugh,\"hesaid,inavoicethatpenetratedtotheverycornersofmysoul,\"Iutterlyfailtounderstandyou.Icannotimaginehowasonofmine,asonofyourmotherwhoistheverysouloftruthfulnessandhonour——canbealiar.\"Oh,theterribleemphasisheputonthatword!
\"Norisitasifthiswereanewtendency——Ihavepunishedyouforitbefore.YourmotherandIhavetriedtodoourdutybyyou,toinstilintoyouChristianteaching.Butitseemswhollyuseless.IconfessthatIamatalesshowtoproceed.Youseemtohavenoconsciencewhatever,noconceptionofwhatyouowetoyourparentsandyourGod.
Younotonlypersistentlydisregardmywishesandcommands,butyouhave,formanymonths,beenleadingadoublelife,facingmeeveryday,whileyouweresecretlyandcontinuallydisobeyingme.Ishuddertothinkwherethisdeterminationofyourstohavewhatyoudesireatanypricewillleadyouinthefuture.Itisjustsuchadesirethatdistinguisheswickedmenfromgood.\"
IwillnotlingeruponascenetheveryremembranceofwhichispainfultothisdayIwentfrommyfather\'spresenceindisgrace,inanagonyofspiritthatwasoverwhelming,tolockthedoorofmyroomanddropfacedownwardonthebed,tosobuntilmymusclestwitched.Forhehad,indeed,putintomeanawfulfear.Thegreatesthorrorofmyboyishimaginationwasawickedman.WasI,ashehaddeclared,utterlydepravedanddoomedinspiteofmyselftobeone?
Therecameaknockatmydoor——Ellawithmysupper.Irefusedtoopen,andsentheraway,tofallonmykneesinthedarknessandpraywildlytoaGodwhoseattributesandcharacterweresufficientlyconfusedinmymind.Ontheonehandwasthestern,despoticMonarchoftheWestminsterCatechism,whomIaddressedoutofhabit,theFatherwhocondemnedaportionofhischildrenfromthecradle.WasIoneofthosewhohehaddecreedbeforeIwasbornmustsufferthetorturesoftheflamesofhell?
Puttingtwoandtwotogether,whatIhadlearnedinSundayschoolandgatheredfrompartsofDr.Pound\'ssermons,andtheintimationofmyfatherthatwickednesswaswithinme,likeanincurabledisease,——wasnotminethelogicalconclusion?What,then,wastheuseofpraying?Mysupplicationsceasedabruptly.Andmyeverreadyimagination,stirredtoitsdepths,beheldthatawfulsceneofthelastday:thedarkness,suchassometimescreepsoverthecityinwinter,whenthejaundicedsmokefallsdownandwereadatnoondaybygas-light.Ibeheldthetorturedfacesofthewickedgatheredontheoneside,andmymotherontheotheramongsttheblessed,gazingacrossthegulfatmewithyearningandcompassion.Strangethatitdidnotstrikemethatthesightofthecondemnedwhomtheyhadlovedinlifewouldhavemarredifnotdestroyedthehappinessofthechosen,abouttoreceivetheircrownsandharps!
Whatatheology——thatmadetheCreatorandPreserverofallmankindthusillogical!
III.
AlthoughIwasimaginative,Iwasnotmorbidlyintrospective,andbytheendofthefirstdayofmyincarcerationmyinterestinthatsolutionhadwaned.Attimes,however,IactuallyyearnedforsomeoneinwhomIcouldconfide,whocouldsuggestasolution.Irepeat,IwouldnotforworldshaveaskedmyfatherormymotherorDr.Pound,ofwhomIhadawholesomefear,orperhapsanunwholesomeone.ExceptatmorningBiblereadingandatchurchmyparentsnevermentionedthenameoftheDeity,savetoinstructmeformally.Intendedorno,theeffectofmyreligioustrainingwastomakemeashamedofdiscussingspiritualmatters,andnaturallyIfailedtoperceivethatthiswasbecauseitlaiditsemphasisonpersonalsalvationIdidnot,however,becomeanunbeliever,forIwasnotofanaturetocontemplatewithequanimityagodlessuniverse
Mysufferingsduringtheseseriesofafternoonconfinementsdidnotcomefromremorse,butweretheresultofavaguesenseofinjury;andtheireffectwastogeneratewithinmeastrangemotivepower,adesiretodosomethingthatwouldastoundmyfatherandeventuallywringfromhimtheconfessionthathehadmisjudgedme.Tobesure,Ishouldhavetowaituntilearlymanhood,atleast,fortheaccomplishmentofsuchacoup.
MightitnotbethatIwasanembryonicliterarygenius?ManywerethebooksIbeganinthisecstasyofself-vindication,onlytoabandonthemwhenmyconfinementcametoanend.
Itwasaboutthistime,Ithink,thatIexperiencedoneofthoseshockswhichhaveapermanenteffectuponcharacter.Itwasthenthecustomforladiestospendthedaywithoneanother,bringingtheirsewing;andsometimes,whenIunexpectedlyenteredthesitting-room,thevoicesofmymother\'svisitorswoulddroptoawhisper.OneafternoonIreturnedfromschooltopauseattheheadofthestairs.CousinBerthaEwanandMrs.
McAlerywerediscussingwithmymotheranaffairthatIjudgedfromtheawedtoneinwhichtheyspokemightproveinteresting.
\"PoorGrace,\"Mrs.McAlerywassaying,\"Iimagineshe\'spaidaheavypenalty.Nomanalivewillbefaithfulunderthosecircumstances.\"
Istoppedattheheadofthestairs,withadelicious,guiltyfeeling.
\"Havetheyeverheardofher?\"CousinBerthaasked.
\"ItisthoughttheywenttoSpain,\"repliedMrs.McAlery,solemnly,yetnotwithoutacertainzest.\"Mr.JulesHollisterwillnothavehernamementionedinhispresence,youknow.AndWhitcombchasedthemasfarasNewYorkwithahorse-pistolinhispocket.Thereportisthathegottothedockjustastheshipsailed.Andthen,youknow,hewenttolivesomewhereoutWest,——inIowa,Ibelieve.\"
\"Didheevergetadivorce?\"CousinBerthainquired.
\"Hewastoogoodachurchmember,mydear,\"mymotherremindedher.
\"Well,I\'dhavegotonequickenough,churchmemberornochurchmember,\"
declaredCousinBertha,whohadinherelementsofdaring.
\"NotthatImeanforamomenttoexcuseher,\"Mrs.McAleryputin,\"butEdwardWhitcombdidhaveafrightfultemper,andhewasawfullystrictwithher,andhewasoldenough,anyhow,tobeherfather.GraceHollisterwasthelastwomanintheworldIshouldhavesuspectedofdoingsohideousathing.Shewassosweetandsimple.\"