Intheearlydays,afterhisreturnfromMoscow,wheneverLevinshudderedandgrewred,rememberingthedisgraceofhisrejection,hewouldsaytohimself:`ThiswasjusthowIusedtoshudderandblush,thinkingeverythingutterlylost,whenIwasflunkedinphysicsanddidnotgetpromoted;andthisisalsohowIthoughtmyselfutterlyruinedafterIhadmismanagedthataffairofmysister’swithwhichIhadbeenentrusted。Andyet,nowthattheyearshavepassed,Irecallitandwonderthatitcoulddistressmesomuch。Itwillbethesamethingwiththistroubleaswell。Timewillgoby,andIshallnotmindthiseither。’
Butthreemonthshadpassedandhehadnotleftoffmindingaboutit;anditwasaspainfulforhimtothinkofitnowasithadbeenduringthosefirstdays。Hecouldnotbeatpeacebecause,afterdreamingsolongoffamilylife,andfeelinghimselfsoripeforit,hewasstillnotmarried,andwasfartherthaneverfrommarriage。Hewaspainfullyconscioushimself,aswereallabouthim,thatathisyearsitisnotgoodthatmanshouldbealone。HerememberedhowbeforestartingforMoscowhehadoncesaidtohiscowherdNicolai,asimpleheartedpeasant,towhomhelikedtotalk:`Well,Nicolai!Imeantogetmarried,’andhowNicolaihadpromptlyanswered,asofamatteronwhichtherecouldbenopossibledoubt:`Andhightimetoo,KonstantinDmitrich。’Butmarriagehadnowbecomefartheroffthanever。Theplacewastaken,andwheneverhetriedtoimagineanyofthegirlsheknewinthatplace,hefeltthatitwasutterlyimpossible。Moreover,therecollectionoftherejectionandtheparthehadplayedintheaffairtorturedhimwithshame。Howeveroftenhetoldhimselfthathewasinnowisetoblameinit,thatrecollection,likeothersimilarlyhumiliatingrecollections,madehimwinceandblush。Therehadbeeninhispast,asineveryman’s,actions,recognizedbyhimasbad,forwhichhisconscienceoughttohavetormentedhim;buttherecollectionoftheseevilactionswasfarfromcausinghimasmuchsufferingasthesetrivialbuthumiliatingrecollections。Thesewoundsneverhealed。Andwiththeserecollectionswasnowrangedhisrejectionandthesorryplightinwhichhemusthaveappearedtoothersthatevening。Yettimeandlaborweredoingtheirwork。Bitterrecollectionsweremoreandmorebeingcoveredupbytheincidents-inconspicuousones,butimportant-ofhiscountrylife。EveryweekhethoughtlessoftenofKitty。Hewasimpatientlylookingforwardtothenewsthatshewasmarried,orjustgoingtobemarried,hopingthatsuchnewswould,likehavingatoothout,completelycurehim。
Meanwhilespringcameon,beautifulandkindly,withoutthedelaysandtreacheriesincidenttospring-oneofthoserarespringsinwhichplants,beastsandmanrejoicealike。ThislovelyspringrousedLevinstillmore,andstrengthenedhiminhisresolutionofrenouncingallhispastandbuildinguphislonelylifefirmlyandindependently。Thoughmanyoftheplanswithwhichhehadreturnedtothecountryhadnotbeencarriedout,hismostimportantresolution-thatofpurityoflife-hadneverthelessbeenkeptbyhim。Hewasfreefromthatshamewhichhadusuallyharassedhimafterafall;andhecouldlookeveryonestraightintheface。InFebruaryhehadreceivedaletterfromMaryaNikolaevnatellinghimthathisbrotherNikolai’shealthwasgettingworse,butthathewouldnottakeadvice,andinconsequenceofthisletterLevinwenttoMoscowtohisbrother’s,andsucceededinpersuadinghimtoseeadoctorandtogotoawateringplaceabroad。Hesucceededsowellinpersuadinghisbrother,andinlendinghimmoneyforthejourneywithoutirritatinghim,thathewassatisfiedwithhimselfonthatscore。Inadditiontohisfarming,whichcalledforspecialattentioninspring,inadditiontoreadingLevinhadbegunthatwinteraworkonagriculture,theplanofwhichturnedontakingintoaccountthecharacterofthelaboreronthelandasoneoftheunalterabledataofthequestion,liketheclimateandthesoil,andconsequentlydeducingalltheprinciplesofscientificculture,notsimplyfromthedataofsoilandclimate,butfromthedataofsoil,climateandacertainunalterablecharacterofthelaborer。Thus,inspiteofhissolitude,orinconsequenceofhissolitude,lifewasexceedinglyfull,savethat,onrareoccasions,hesufferedfromanunsatisfieddesiretocommunicatehisstrayideastosomeonebesidesAgathyaMikhailovna。Withherindeedhenotinfrequentlyfellintodiscussionsuponphysics,thetheoryofagriculture,and,especially,philosophy:philosophywasAgathyaMikhailovna’sfavoritesubject。
Springwasslowinunfolding。ForthelastfewweeksofLentithadbeensteadilyfineandfrostyweather。Inthedaytimetherewasathawinthesun,butatnighttherewereasmanyassevendegreesoffrost。Thesnowwassopackedandfrozenthatloadscouldbecarriedalonganywhere,regardlessofroads。Eastercameinsnow。Thenallofasudden,onEasterMonday,awarmwindsprangup,stormcloudsswoopeddown,andforthreedaysandthreenightsthewarm,tempestuousrainfellintorrents。OnThursdaythewinddropped,andathickgrayfogbroodedovertheland,asthoughscreeningthemysteriesofthetransformationsthatwerebeingwroughtinnature。Behindthefogtherewastheflowingofwater,thecrackingandfloatingofice,theswiftrushofturbid,foamingtorrents;andonthefollowingMonday,intheevening,thefogparted,thestormcloudssplitupintolittlecurlingcrestsofcloud,theskycleared,andtherealspringhadcome。Inthemorningthesunarosebrilliantandquicklyworeawaythethinlayeroficethatcoveredthewater,andallthewarmairwasquiveringwiththesteamthatroseupfromthequickenedearth。Theoldgrasslookedgreener,andtheyounggrassthrustupitstinyblades;thebudsoftheguelder-roseandofthecurrant,andthestickybirchbudswereswollenwithsap,andanexploringbeewashummingaboutthegoldenblossomsthatstuddedthewillow。Larkstrilledunseenabovethevelvetygreenfieldsandtheice-coveredstubbleland;pewitswailedoverthelowlandsandmarshes,floodedbythepools;cranesandwildgeeseflewhighacrosstheskyutteringtheirspringcalls。Thecattle,baldinpatcheswherethenewhairhadnotgrownyet,lowedinthepastures;bowleggedlambsfriskedroundtheirbleatingdams,whoweresheddingtheirfleece;nimble-footedchildrenranalongthedryingpaths,coveredwiththeprintsofbarefeet;therewasamerrychatterofpeasantwomenovertheirlinenatthepond,andtheringofaxesintheyard,wherethepeasantswererepairingplowsandharrows。Therealspringhadcome。
Levinputonhisbigboots,and,forthefirsttime,aclothovercoatinsteadofhisfurcloak,andwentouttolookafterhisfarm,steppingoverstreamsofwaterthatflashedinthesunshineanddazzledhiseyes,andsteppingoneminuteoniceandthenextintostickymud。