THETHREECLERKSOFST。NICHOLAS
The/InnoftheThreeBarbels/wasformerlyatTours，thebestplaceinthetownforsumptuousfare；andthelandlord，reputedthebestofcooks，wenttoprepareweddingbreakfastsasfarasChatelherault，Loches，Vendome，andBlois。Thissaidman，anoldfox，perfectinhisbusiness，neverlightedlampsinthedaytime，knewhowtoskinaflint，chargedforwool，leather，andfeathers，hadaneyetoeverything，didnoteasilyletanyonepaywithchaffinsteadofcoin，andforapennylessthanhisaccountwouldhaveaffrontedevenaprince。Fortherest，hewasagoodbanterer，drinkingandlaughingwithhisregularcustomers，hatinhandalwaysbeforethepersonsfurnishedwithplenaryindulgencesentitled/SitnomenDominibenedictum/，runningthemintoexpense，andprovingtothem，ifneedwere，bysoundargument，thatwinesweredear，andthatwhatevertheymightthink，nothingwasgivenawayinTouraine，everythinghadtobebought，and，atthesametime，paidfor。Inshort，ifhecouldwithoutdisgracehavedoneso，hewouldhavereckonedsomuchforthegoodair，andsomuchfortheviewofthecountry。Thushebuiltupatidyfortunewithotherpeople\'smoney，becameasroundasabutt，lardedwithfat，andwascalledMonsieur。Atthetimeofthelastfairthreeyoungfellows，whowereapprenticesinknavery，inwhomtherewasmoreofthematerialthatmakesthievesthansaints，andwhoknewjusthowfaritwaspossibletogowithoutcatchingtheirnecksinthebranchesoftrees，madeuptheirmindstoamusethemselves，andlivewell，condemningcertainhawkersorothersinalltheexpenses。NowtheselimbsofSatangavethesliptotheirmasters，underwhomtheyhadbeenstudyingtheartofparchmentscrawling，andcametostayatthehoteloftheThreeBarbels，wheretheydemandedthebestrooms，turnedtheplaceinsideout，turneduptheirnosesateverything，bespokeallthelampreysinthemarket，andannouncedthemselvesasfirst-classmerchants，whonevercarriedtheirgoodswiththem，andtravelledonlywiththeirpersons。Thehostbustledabout，turnedthespits，andpreparedagloriousrepast，forthesethreedodgers，whohadalreadymadenoiseenoughforahundredcrowns，andwhomostcertainlywouldnotevenhavegivenupthecoppercoinswhichoneofthemwasjinglinginhispocket。Butiftheywerehardupformoneytheydidnotwantforingenuity，andallthreearrangedtoplaytheirpartslikethievesatafair。Theirswasafarceinwhichtherewasplentyofeatinganddrinking，sinceforfivedaystheysoheartilyattackedeverykindofprovisionthatapartyofGermansoldierswouldhavespoiledlessthantheyobtainedbyfraud。Thesethreecunningfellowsmadetheirwaytothefairafterbreakfast，wellprimed，gorged，andbiginthebelly，anddidastheylikedwiththegreenhornsandothers，robbing，filching，playing，andlosing，takingdownthewritingsandsignsandchangingthem，puttingthatofthetoymanoverthejeweller\'s，andthatofthejeweller\'soutsidetheshoemaker\'s，turningtheshopsinsideout，makingthedogsfight，cuttingtheropesoftetheredhorses，throwingcatsamongthecrowd，crying，“Stopthief！”Andsayingtoeveryonetheymet，“AreyounotMonsieurD\'EnterfesseofAngiers？”Thentheyhustledeveryone，makingholesinthesacksofflour，lookingfortheirhandkerchiefsinladies\'pockets，raisingtheirskirts，crying，lookingforalostjewelandsayingtothem——
“Ladies，ithasfallenintoahole！”
Theydirectedthelittlechildrenwrongly，slappedthestomachsofthosewhoweregapingintheair，andprowledabout，fleecingandannoyingeveryone。Inshort，thedevilwouldhavebeenagentlemanincomparisonwiththeseblackguardstudents，whowouldhavebeenhangedratherthandoanhonestaction；aswellhaveexpectedcharityfromtwoangrylitigants。Theyleftthefair，notfatigued，buttiredofill-doing，andspenttheremainderoftheirtimeoverdinneruntiltheeveningwhentheyrecommencedtheirpranksbytorchlight。Afterthepeddlers，theycommencedoperationsontheladiesofthetown，towhom，byathousanddodges，theygaveonlythatwhichtheyreceived，accordingtotheaxiomofJustinian：/Cuiqumjustribuere/。“Toeveryonehisownjuice；“andafterwardsjokinglysaidtothepoorwenches——
“Weareintherightandyouareinthewrong。“