第8章
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  foundthatthewomanwasbenumbedandhardlyabletomove。EvenwhenIaskedhertoenter,andsupplementedmywordswithgesturesincasesheshouldnotunderstandmylanguage,shestoodstock—still,onlyrockingslightlytoandfroasthoughshehadjuststrengthenoughlefttobalanceherselfonherfeet。Iwasafraid,fromtheconditioninwhichshewas,thatshemightdropdowndeadatanymoment。SoItookherbythehandtoleadherin。Butsheseemedtooweaktoevenmaketheattempt。WhenIpulledherslightlyforward,thinkingtohelpher,shetottered,andwouldhavefallenhadInotcaughtherinmyarms。Then,halfliftingher,Imovedherforwards。Herfeet,relievedofherweight,nowseemedabletomakethenecessaryeffort;andso,Ialmostcarryingher,wemovedintotheroom。Shewasattheveryendofherstrength;Ihadtoliftheroverthesill。Inobediencetohermotion,IclosedtheFrenchwindowandboltedit。Isupposedthewarmthoftheroom——thoughcool,itwaswarmerthanthedampairwithout——affectedherquickly,forontheinstantsheseemedtobegintorecoverherself。Inafewseconds,asthoughshehadreacquiredherstrength,sheherselfpulledtheheavycurtainacrossthewindow。Thisleftusindarkness,throughwhichIheardhersayinEnglish:

  \"Light。Getalight!\"

  Ifoundmatches,andatoncelitacandle。Asthewickflared,shemovedovertothedooroftheroom,andtriedifthelockandboltwerefastened。Satisfiedastothis,shemovedtowardsme,herwetshroudleavingatrailofmoistureonthegreencarpet。Bythistimethewaxofthecandlehadmeltedsufficientlytoletmeseeherclearly。Shewasshakingandquiveringasthoughinanague;shedrewthewetshroudaroundherpiteously。InstinctivelyIspoke:

  \"CanIdoanythingforyou?\"

  Sheanswered,stillinEnglish,andinavoiceofthrilling,almostpiercingsweetness,whichseemedsomehowtogostraighttomyheart,andaffectedmestrangely:\"Givemewarmth。\"

  Ihurriedtothefireplace。Itwasempty;therewasnofirelaid。I

  turnedtoher,andsaid:

  \"Waitjustafewminuteshere。Ishallcallsomeone,andgethelp——

  andfire。\"

  Hervoiceseemedtoringwithintensityassheansweredwithoutapause:

  \"No,no!RatherwouldIbe\"——hereshehesitatedforaninstant,butasshecaughtsightofhercerementswentonhurriedly——\"asIam。I

  trustyou——notothers;andyoumustnotbetraymytrust。\"Almostinstantlyshefellintoafrightfulfitofshivering,drawingagainherdeath—clothesclosetoher,sopiteouslythatitwrungmyheart。

  IsupposeIamapracticalman。Atanyrate,Iamaccustomedtoaction。ItookfromitsplacebesidemybedathickJaegerdressing—

  gownofdarkbrown——itwas,ofcourse,ofextralength——andhelditouttoherasIsaid:

  \"Putthaton。Itistheonlywarmthingherewhichwouldbesuitable。Stay;youmustremovethatwet——wet\"——Istumbledaboutforawordthatwouldnotbeoffensive——\"thatfrock——dress——costume——

  whateveritis。\"Ipointedtowhere,inthecorneroftheroom,stoodachintz—coveredfolding—screenwhichfencesinmycoldspongebath,whichislaidreadyformeovernight,asIamanearlyriser。

  Shebowedgravely,andtakingthedressing—gowninalong,white,finely—shapedhand,boreitbehindthescreen。Therewasaslightrustle,andthenahollow\"flop\"asthewetgarmentfellonthefloor;morerustlingandrubbing,andaminutelatersheemergedwrappedfromheadtofootinthelongJaegergarment,whichtrailedonthefloorbehindher,thoughshewasatallwoman。Shewasstillshiveringpainfully,however。Itookaflaskofbrandyandaglassfromacupboard,andofferedhersome;butwithamotionofherhandsherefusedit,thoughshemoanedgrievously。

  \"Oh,Iamsocold——socold!\"Herteethwerechattering。Iwaspainedathersadcondition,andsaiddespairingly,forIwasatmywits’endtoknowwhattodo:

  \"TellmeanythingthatIcandotohelpyou,andIwilldoit。Imaynotcallhelp;thereisnofire——nothingtomakeitwith;youwillnottakesomebrandy。WhatonearthcanIdotogiveyouwarmth?\"

  Heranswercertainlysurprisedmewhenitcame,thoughitwaspracticalenough——sopracticalthatIshouldnothavedaredtosayit。Shelookedmestraightinthefaceforafewsecondsbeforespeaking。Then,withanairofgirlishinnocencewhichdisarmedsuspicionandconvincedmeatonceofhersimplefaith,shesaidinavoicethatatoncethrilledmeandevokedallmypity:

  \"Letmerestforawhile,andcovermeupwithrugs。Thatmaygivemewarmth。Iamdyingofcold。AndIhaveadeadlyfearuponme——adeadlyfear。Sitbyme,andletmeholdyourhand。Youarebigandstrong,andyoulookbrave。Itwillreassureme。Iamnotmyselfacoward,butto—nightfearhasgotmebythethroat。Icanhardlybreathe。DoletmestaytillIamwarm。IfyouonlyknewwhatI

  havegonethrough,andhavetogothroughstill,Iamsureyouwouldpitymeandhelpme。\"

  TosaythatIwasastonishedwouldbeamilddescriptionofmyfeelings。Iwasnotshocked。ThelifewhichIhaveledwasnotonewhichmakesforprudery。Totravelinstrangeplacesamongststrangepeopleswithstrangeviewsoftheirownistohaveoddexperiencesandpeculiaradventuresnowandagain;amanwithouthumanpassionsisnotthetypenecessaryforanadventurouslife,suchasImyselfhavehad。Butevenamanofpassionsandexperiencescan,whenherespectsawoman,beshocked——evenprudish——wherehisownopinionofherisconcerned。Suchmustbringtoherguardinganygenerositywhichhehas,andanyself—restraintalso。Evenshouldsheplaceherselfinadoubtfulposition,herhonourcallstohishonour。Thisisacallwhichmaynotbe——MUSTnotbe——unanswered。Evenpassionmustpauseforatleastawhileatsoundofsuchatrumpet—call。

  ThiswomanIdidrespect——muchrespect。Heryouthandbeauty;hermanifestignoranceofevil;hersuperbdisdainofconvention,whichcouldonlycomethroughhereditarydignity;herterriblefearandsuffering——fortheremustbemoreinherunhappyconditionthanmeetstheeye——wouldalldemandrespect,evenifonedidnothastentoyieldit。Nevertheless,Ithoughtitnecessarytoenteraprotestagainstherembarrassingsuggestion。Icertainlydidfeelafoolwhenmakingit,alsoacad。Icantrulysayitwasmadeonlyforhergood,andoutofthebestofme,suchasIam。Ifeltimpossiblyawkward;andstutteredandstumbledbeforeIspoke:

  \"Butsurely——theconvenances!Yourbeingherealoneatnight!Mrs。

  Grundy——convention——the——\"

  Sheinterruptedmewithanincomparabledignity——adignitywhichhadtheeffectofshuttingmeuplikeaclasp—knifeandmakingmefeeladecidedinferior——andapoorshowatthat。Therewassuchagracioussimplicityandhonestyinit,too,suchself—respectingknowledgeofherselfandherposition,thatIcouldbeneitherangrynorhurt。I

  couldonlyfeelashamedofmyself,andofmyownlittlenessofmindandmorals。Sheseemedinhericycoldness——nowspiritualaswellasbodily——likeanincarnatefigureofPrideassheanswered:

  \"Whatareconvenancesorconventionstome!IfyouonlyknewwhereI

  havecomefrom——theexistence(ifitcanbecalledso)whichIhavehad——theloneliness——thehorror!Andbesides,itisformetoMAKE

  conventions,nottoyieldmypersonalfreedomofactiontothem。

  EvenasIam——evenhereandinthisgarb——Iamaboveconvention。

  Convenancesdonottroublemeorhamperme。That,atleast,IhavewonbywhatIhavegonethrough,evenifithadnevercometomethroughanyotherway。Letmestay。\"Shesaidthelastwords,inspiteofallherpride,appealingly。Butstill,therewasanoteofhighprideinallthis——inallshesaidanddid,inherattitudeandmovement,inthetonesofhervoice,intheloftinessofhercarriageandthesteadfastlookofheropen,starliteyes。Altogether,therewassomethingsorarelyloftyinherselfandallthatcladherthat,facetofacewithitandwithher,myfeebleattemptatmoralprecautionseemedpuny,ridiculous,andoutofplace。Withoutawordinthedoing,Itookfromanoldchiffonierchestanarmfulofblankets,severalofwhichIthrewoverherasshelay,forinthemeantime,havingreplacedthecoverlet,shehadlaindownatlengthonthebed。Itookachair,andsatdownbesideher。Whenshestretchedoutherhandfrombeneaththepileofwraps,Itookitinmine,saying:

  \"Getwarmandrest。Sleepifyoucan。Youneednotfear;Ishallguardyouwithmylife。\"

  Shelookedatmegratefully,herstarryeyestakinganewlightmorefullofilluminationthanwasaffordedbythewaxcandle,whichwasshadedfromherbymybody……Shewashorriblycold,andherteethchatteredsoviolentlythatIfearedlestsheshouldhaveincurredsomedangerousevilfromherwettingandthecoldthatfollowedit。

  Ifelt,however,soawkwardthatIcouldfindnowordstoexpressmyfears;moreover,Ihardlydaredsayanythingatallregardingherselfafterthehaughtywayinwhichshehadreceivedmywell—meantprotest。ManifestlyIwasbuttoherasasortofrefugeandproviderofheat,altogetherimpersonal,andnottoberegardedinanydegreeasanindividual。InthesehumiliatingcircumstanceswhatcouldIdobutsitquiet——andwaitdevelopments?

  Littlebylittlethefiercechatteringofherteethbegantoabateasthewarmthofhersurroundingsstolethroughher。Ialsofelt,eveninthisstrangelyawakeningposition,theinfluenceofthequiet;andsleepbegantostealoverme。SeveraltimesItriedtofenditoff,but,asIcouldnotmakeanyovertmovementwithoutalarmingmystrangeandbeautifulcompanion,Ihadtoyieldmyselftodrowsiness。

  IwasstillinsuchanoverwhelmingstuporofsurprisethatIcouldnoteventhinkfreely。Therewasnothingformebuttocontrolmyselfandwait。BeforeIcouldwellfixmythoughtsIwasasleep。

  Iwasrecalledtoconsciousnessbyhearing,eventhroughthepallofsleepthatboundme,thecrowingofacockinsomeoftheout—officesofthecastle。Atthesameinstantthefigure,lyingdeathlystillbutforthegentleheavingofherbosom,begantostrugglewildly。

  Thesoundhadwonthroughthegatesofhersleepalso。Withaswift,glidingmotionsheslippedfromthebedtothefloor,sayinginafiercewhisperasshepulledherselfuptoherfullheight:

  \"Letmeout!Imustgo!Imustgo!\"

  BythistimeIwasfullyawake,andthewholepositionofthingscametomeinaninstantwhichIshallnever——cannever——forget:thedimlightofthecandle,nownearlyburneddowntothesocket,allthedimmerfromthefactthatthefirstgreygleamofmorningwasstealinginroundtheedgesoftheheavycurtain;thetall,slimfigureinthebrowndressing—gownwhoseover—lengthtrailedonthefloor,theblackhairshowingglossyinthelight,andincreasingbycontrastthemarblewhitenessoftheface,inwhichtheblackeyessentthroughtheirstarsfierygleams。Sheappearedquiteinafrenzyofhaste;hereagernesswassimplyirresistible。

  Iwassostupefiedwithamazement,aswellaswithsleep,thatIdidnotattempttostopher,butbeganinstinctivelytohelpherbyfurtheringherwishes。Assheranbehindthescreen,and,asfarassoundcouldinformme,——beganfranticallytodisrobeherselfofthewarmdressing—gownandtodonagaintheice—coldwetshroud,Ipulledbackthecurtainfromthewindow,anddrewtheboltoftheglassdoor。AsIdidsoshewasalreadybehindme,shivering。AsIthrewopenthedoorsheglidedoutwithaswiftsilentmovement,buttremblinginanagonizedway。Asshepassedme,shemurmuredinalowvoice,whichwasalmostlostinthechatteringofherteeth:

  \"Oh,thankyou——thankyouathousandtimes!ButImustgo。IMUST!

  IMUST!Ishallcomeagain,andtrytoshowmygratitude。Donotcondemnmeasungrateful——tillthen。\"Andshewasgone。

  Iwatchedherpassthelengthofthewhitepath,flittingfromshrubtoshruborstatueasshehadcome。Inthecoldgreylightoftheundevelopeddawnsheseemedevenmoreghostlythanshehaddoneintheblackshadowofthenight。

  Whenshedisappearedfromsightintheshadowofthewood,Istoodontheterraceforalongtimewatching,incaseIshouldbeaffordedanotherglimpseofher,fortherewasnownodoubtinmymindthatshehadformesomestrangeattraction。IfelteventhenthatthelookinthosegloriousstarryeyeswouldbewithmealwayssolongasImightlive。Therewassomefascinationwhichwentdeeperthanmyeyesormyfleshormyheart——downdeepintotheverydepthsofmysoul。Mymindwasallinawhirl,sothatIcouldhardlythinkcoherently。Itallwaslikeadream;therealityseemedfaraway。

  Itwasnotpossibletodoubtthatthephantomfigurewhichhadbeensoclosetomeduringthedarkhoursofthenightwasactualfleshandblood。Yetshewassocold,socold!AltogetherIcouldnotfixmymindtoeitherproposition:thatitwasalivingwomanwhohadheldmyhand,oradeadbodyreanimatedforthetimeortheoccasioninsomestrangemanner。

  Thedifficultywastoogreatformetomakeupmyminduponit,evenhadIwantedto。But,inanycase,Ididnotwantto。Thiswould,nodoubt,comeintime。ButtillthenIwishedtodreamon,asanyonedoesinadreamwhichcanstillbeblissfulthoughtherebepausesofpain,orghastliness,ordoubt,orterror。

  SoIclosedthewindowanddrewthecurtainagain,feelingforthefirsttimethecoldinwhichIhadstoodonthewetmarbleflooroftheterracewhenmybarefeetbegantogetwarmonthesoftcarpet。

  TogetridofthechillfeelingIgotintothebedonwhichSHEhadlain,andasthewarmthrestoredmetriedtothinkcoherently。ForashortwhileIwasgoingoverthefactsofthenight——orwhatseemedasfactstomyremembrance。ButasIcontinuedtothink,thepossibilitiesofanyresultseemedtogetless,andIfoundmyselfvainlytryingtoreconcilewiththelogicoflifethegrimepisodeofthenight。Theeffortprovedtobetoomuchforsuchconcentrationaswaslefttome;moreover,interruptedsleepwasclamant,andwouldnotbedenied。WhatIdreamtof——ifIdreamtatall——Iknownot。I

  onlyknowthatIwasreadyforwakingwhenthetimecame。Itcamewithaviolentknockingatmydoor。Isprangfrombed,fullyawakeinasecond,drewthebolt,andslippedbacktobed。Withahurried\"MayIcomein?\"AuntJanetentered。Sheseemedrelievedwhenshesawme,andgavewithoutmyaskinganexplanationofherperturbation:

  \"Oh,laddie,Ihaebeensouneasyabootyeallthenicht。Ihaehaddreamsan’veesionsan’a’sortso’uncannyfancies。Ifearthat——\"

  Shewasbynowdrawingbackthecurtain,andashereyestookinthemarksofwetalloverthefloorthecurrentofherthoughtschanged:

  \"Why,laddie,whativerhaeyebeendoin’wi’yerbaith?Oh,themessyehaemade!’Tissinfultogiesictroublean’waste……\"Andsoshewenton。Iwasgladtohearthetirade,whichwasonlywhatagoodhousewife,outragedinhersentimentsoforder,wouldhavemade。

  Ilistenedinpatience——withpleasurewhenIthoughtofwhatshewouldhavethought(andsaid)hadsheknowntherealfacts。Iwaswellpleasedtohavegotoffsoeasily。

  RUPERT’SJOURNAL——Continued。

  April10,1907。

  ForsomedaysafterwhatIcall\"theepisode\"Iwasinastrangeconditionofmind。Ididnottakeanyone——notevenAuntJanet——intoconfidence。Evenshedear,andopen—heartedandliberal—mindedassheis,mightnothaveunderstoodwellenoughtobejustandtolerant;andIdidnotcaretohearanyadversecommentonmystrangevisitor。SomehowIcouldnotbearthethoughtofanyonefindingfaultwithherorinher,though,strangelyenough,Iwaseternallydefendinghertomyself;for,despitemywishes,embarrassingthoughtsWOULDcomeagainandagain,andagaininallsortsandvariantsofqueriesdifficulttoanswer。Ifoundmyselfdefendingher,sometimesasawomanhardpressedbyspiritualfearandphysicalsuffering,sometimesasnotbeingamenabletolawsthatgoverntheLiving。Indeed,IcouldnotmakeupmymindwhetherI

  lookedonherasalivinghumanbeingorasonewithsomestrangeexistenceinanotherworld,andhavingonlyachancefootholdinourown。Insuchdoubtimaginationbegantowork,andthoughtsofevil,ofdanger,ofdoubt,evenoffear,begantocrowdonmewithsuchpersistenceandinsuchvariedformsthatIfoundmyinstinctofreticencegrowingintoasettledpurpose。ThevalueofthisinstinctiveprecautionwaspromptlyshownbyAuntJanet’sstateofmind,withconsequentrevelationofit。ShebecamefullofgloomyprognosticationsandwhatIthoughtweremorbidfears。ForthefirsttimeinmylifeIdiscoveredthatAuntJanethadnerves!Ihadlonghadasecretbeliefthatshewasgifted,tosomedegreeatanyrate,withSecondSight,whichquality,orwhateveritis,skilledinthepowersifnottheloreofsuperstition,managestokeepatstretchnotonlythemindofitsimmediatepathic,butofothersrelevanttoit。PerhapsthisnaturalqualityhadreceivedafreshimpetusfromthearrivalofsomecasesofherbookssentonbySirColin。Sheappearedtoreadandrereadtheseworks,whichwerechieflyonoccultsubjects,dayandnight,exceptwhenshewasimpartingtomechoiceexcerptsofthemostbalefulandfearsomekind。Indeed,beforeaweekwasoverIfoundmyselftobeanexpertinthehistoryofthecult,aswellasinitsmanifestations,whichlatterIhadbeenversedinforagoodmanyyears。

  Theresultofallthiswasthatitsetmebrooding。Such,atleast,IgatheredwasthefactwhenAuntJanettookmetotaskforit。Shealwaysspeaksoutaccordingtoherconvictions,sothatherthinkingIbroodedwastomeaproofthatIdid;andafterapersonalexaminationIcame——reluctantly——totheconclusionthatshewasright,sofar,atanyrate,asmyouterconductwasconcerned。ThestateofmindIwasin,however,keptmefrommakinganyacknowledgmentofit——therealcauseofmykeepingsomuchtomyselfandofbeingsodistrait。AndsoIwenton,torturingmyselfasbeforewithintrospectivequestioning;andshe,withhermindsetonmyactions,andendeavouringtofindacauseforthem,continuedandexpoundedherbeliefsandfears。

  Hernightlychatswithmewhenwewerealoneafterdinner——forIhadcometoavoidherquestioningatothertimes——keptmyimaginationathighpressure。Despitemyself,Icouldnotbutfindnewcauseforconcernintheperennialfountsofhersuperstition。Ihadthought,yearsago,thatIhadthensoundedthedepthsofthisbranchofpsychicism;butthisnewphaseofthought,foundedonthereallydeepholdwhichtheexistenceofmybeautifulvisitorandhersadanddreadfulcircumstanceshadtakenuponme,broughtmeanewconcerninthematterofself—importance。IcametothinkthatImustreconstructmyself—values,andbeginafreshunderstandingofethicalbeliefs。DowhatIwould,mymindwouldkeepturningontheuncannysubjectsbroughtbeforeit。Ibegantoapplythemonebyonetomyownlateexperience,andunconsciouslytotrytofittheminturntothepresentcase。

  TheeffectofthisbroodingwasthatIwas,despitemyownwill,struckbythesimilarityofcircumstancesbearingonmyvisitor,andtheconditionsapportionedbytraditionandsuperstitiontosuchstrangesurvivalsfromearlieragesasthesepartialexistenceswhichareratherUndeadthanLiving——stillwalkingtheearth,thoughclaimedbytheworldoftheDead。AmongstthemaretheVampire,ortheWehr—Wolf。TothisclassalsomightbelonginameasuretheDoppelganger——oneofwhosedualexistencescommonlybelongstotheactualworldaroundit。So,too,thedenizensoftheworldofAstralism。Inanyofthesenamedworldsthereisamaterialpresence——whichmustbecreated,ifonlyforasingleorperiodicpurpose。Itmattersnotwhetheramaterialpresencealreadycreatedcanbereceptiveofadisembodiedsoul,orasoulunattachedcanhaveabodybuiltupforitoraroundit;or,again,whetherthebodyofadeadpersoncanbemadeseemingquickthroughsomediabolicinfluencemanifestedinthepresent,oraninheritanceorresultofsomebalefuluseofmaleficpowerinthepast。Theresultisthesameineachcase,thoughthewaysbewidelydifferent:asoulandabodywhicharenotinunitybutbroughttogetherforstrangepurposesthroughstrangermeansandbypowersstillmorestrange。

  Throughmuchthoughtandaprocessofexclusionstheeerieformwhichseemedtobemostincorrespondencewithmyadventure,andmostsuitabletomyfascinatingvisitor,appearedtobetheVampire。

  Doppelganger,Astralcreations,andallsuch—like,didnotcomplywiththeconditionsofmynightexperience。TheWehr—WolfisbutavariantoftheVampire,andsoneedednottobeclassedorexaminedatall。Thenitwasthat,thusfocussed,theLadyoftheShroud(forsoIcametoholdherinmymind)begantoassumeanewforce。AuntJanet’slibraryaffordedmeclueswhichIfollowedwithavidity。InmysecretheartIhatedthequest,anddidnotwishtogoonwithit。

  ButinthisIwasnotmyownmaster。DowhatIwould——brushawaydoubtsneversooften,newdoubtsandimaginingscameintheirstead。

  ThecircumstancealmostrepeatedtheparableoftheSevenDevilswhotooktheplaceoftheexorcisedone。DoubtsIcouldstand。

  ImaginingsIcouldstand。ButdoubtsandimaginingstogethermadeaforcesofellthatIwasdriventoacceptanyreadingofthemysterywhichmightpresumablyaffordafootholdforsatisfyingthought。AndsoIcametoaccepttentativelytheVampiretheory——acceptit,atleast,sofarastoexamineitasjudiciallyaswasgivenmetodo。

  Asthedaysworeon,sotheconvictiongrew。ThemoreIreadonthesubject,themoredirectlytheevidencespointedtowardsthisview。

  ThemoreIthought,themoreobstinatebecametheconviction。I

  ransackedAuntJanet’svolumesagainandagaintofindanythingtothecontrary;butinvain。Again,nomatterhowobstinateweremyconvictionsatanygiventime,unsettlementcamewithfreshthinkingovertheargument,sothatIwaskeptinaharassingstateofuncertainty。

  Briefly,theevidenceinfavourofaccordbetweenthefactsofthecaseandtheVampiretheorywere:

  Hercomingwasatnight——thetimetheVampireisaccordingtothetheory,freetomoveatwill。

  Sheworehershroud——anecessityofcomingfreshfromgraveortomb;

  forthereisnothingoccultaboutclothingwhichisnotsubjecttoastralorotherinfluences。

  Shehadtobehelpedintomyroom——instrictaccordancewithwhatonescepticalcriticofoccultismhascalled\"theVampireetiquette。\"

  Shemadeviolenthasteingettingawayatcock—crow。

  Sheseemedpreternaturallycold;hersleepwasalmostabnormalinintensity,andyetthesoundofthecock—crowingcamethroughit。

  ThesethingsshowedhertobesubjecttoSOMElaws,thoughnotinexactaccordwithinthosewhichgovernhumanbeings。Underthestressofsuchcircumstancesasshemusthavegonethrough,hervitalityseemedmorethanhuman——thequalityofvitalitywhichcouldoutliveordinaryburial。Again,suchpurposeasshehadshownindonning,understressofsomecompellingdirection,herice—coldwetshroud,and,wraptinit,goingoutagainintothenight,washardlynormalforawoman。

  Butifso,andifshewasindeedaVampire,mightnotwhateveritmaybethatholdssuchbeingsinthrallbebysomemeansorotherexorcised?Tofindthemeansmustbemynexttask。Iamactuallypiningtoseeheragain。NeverbeforehaveIbeenstirredtomydepthsbyanyone。ComeitfromHeavenorHell,fromtheEarthortheGrave,itdoesnotmatter;Ishallmakeitmytasktowinherbacktolifeandpeace。IfshebeindeedaVampire,thetaskmaybehardandlong;ifshebenotso,andifitbemerelythatcircumstanceshavesogatheredroundherastoproducethatimpression,thetaskmaybesimplerandtheresultmoresweet。No,notmoresweet;forwhatcanbemoresweetthantorestorethelostorseeminglylostsoulofthewomanyoulove!There,thetruthisoutatlast!IsupposethatI

  havefalleninlovewithher。Ifso,itistoolateformetofightagainstit。IcanonlywaitwithwhatpatienceIcantillIseeheragain。ButtothatendIcandonothing。Iknowabsolutelynothingabouther——notevenhername。Patience!

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