\"Oh，weweresentfor；andStalkyaskedtohavethe’depositions’readout，andtheHeadknockedhimspinningintoawaste—paperbasket。Thenhegaveuseightcutsapiece——welters——for——for——takin’unheard—oflibertieswithanewmaster。Isawhisshouldersshakingwhenwewentout。Doyouknow，\"saidBeetle，pensively，\"thatMasoncan’tlookatusnowinsecondlessonwithoutblushing？Wethreestareathimsometimestillheregularlytrickles。He’sanawfullysensitivebeast。\"
\"Heread’Eric，orLittlebyLittle，’\"saidMcTurk；\"sowegavehim’St。Winifred’s，ortheWorldofSchool。’TheyspentalltheirsparetimestealingatSt。Winifred’s，whentheyweren’tprayingorgettingdrunkatpubs。Well，thatwasonlyaweekago，andtheHead’salittlebitshyofus。Hecalleditconstructivedeviltry。Stalkyinventeditall。\"
\"Nottheleastgoodhavingarowwithamasterunlessyoucanmakeanassofhim，\"
saidStalky，extendedateaseonthehearth—rug。\"IfMasondidn’tknowNumberFive——well，he’slearnt，that’sall。Now，mydearlybeloved’earers\"——Stalkycurledhislegsunderhimandaddressedthecompany——\"we’vegotthatstrong’，perseverin’
manKingonourhands。Hewentmilesoutofhiswaytoprovokeaconflict。\"
（HereStalkysnappeddowntheblacksilkdominoandassumedtheairofajudge。）\"HehasoppressedBeetle，McTurk，andme，_privatim_et_seriatim_，onebyone，ashecouldcatchus。Butnow，hehasinsultedNumberFiveupinthemusic—room，andinthepresenceofthese——theseossifersoftheNinety—third，wotlooklikehairdressers。Binjimin，wemustmakehimcry’Capivi！’\"
Stalky’sreadingdidnotincludeBrowningorRuskin。
\"And，besides，\"saidMcTurk，\"he’saPhilistine，abasket—hanger。Hewearsatartantie。Ruskinsaysthatanymanwhowearsatartantiewill，withoutdoubt，bedamnedeverlastingly。\"
\"Bravo，McTurk，\"saidTertius；\"Ithoughthewasonlyabeast。\"
\"He’sthat，too，ofcourse，buthe’sworse。Hohasachinabasketwithblueribbonsandapinkkittenonit，hungupinhiswindowtogrowmuskin。YouknowwhenIgotallthatoldoakcarvin’outofBidefordChurch，whentheywererestoringit（Ruskinsaysthatanymanwho’llrestoreachurchisanunmitigatedsweep），andstuckitupherewithglue？Well，Kingcameinandwantedtoknowwhetherwe’ddoneitwithafret—saw！Yah！HeistheKingofbasket—hangers！\"
DownwentMcTurk’sinkythumboveranimaginaryarenafullofbleedingKings。
\"_Placete_，childofagenerousrace！\"hecriedtoBeetle。
\"Well，\"beganBeetle，doubtfully，\"hecomesfromBalliol，butI’mgoingtogivethebeastachance。YouseeIcanalwaysmakehimhopwithsomemorepoetry。Hecan’treportmetotheHead，becauseitmakeshimridiculous。（Stalky’squiteright。）Butheshallhavehischance。\"
Beetleopenedthebookonthetable，ranhisfingerdownapage，andbeganatrandom：
\"OrwhoinMoscowtowardtheCzarWiththedemurestoffootfalls，OvertheKremlin’spavementwhiteWithserpentineandsyenite，Stepswithfiveothergenerals——\"
\"That’snogood。Tryanother，\"saidStalky。
\"Holdonashake；Iknowwhat’scoming。\"McTurkwasreadingoverBeetle’sshoulder。
\"Thatsimultaneouslytakesnuff，ForeachtohavepretextenoughAndkerchiefwiseunfoldhissash，Which——softness’self——isyetthestuff（Gummy！Whatasentence！）
ToholdfastwhereasteelchainsnapsAndleavethegrandwhitenecknogash。
（Fullstop。）\"
\"’Don’tunderstandawordofit，\"saidStalky。
\"Morefoolyou！Construe，\"saidMcTurk。\"ThosesixbargeesscraggedtheCzar，andleftnoevidence。_Actum_est_withKing。\"
\"Hegavemethatbook，too，\"saidBeetle，lickinghislips：
\"There’sagreattextinGalatians，OnceyoutriponitentailsTwenty—ninedistinctdamnations，Onesureifanotherfails。\"
Thenirrelevantly：
\"Setebos！Setebos！andSetebos！
Thinkethhelivethinthecoldofthemoon。\"
\"He’sjustcomeinfromdinner，\"saidDickFour，lookingthroughthewindow。
\"Mandersminoriswithhim。\"
\"’SafestplaceforMandersminorjustnow，\"saidBeetle。
\"Thenyouchapshadbetterclearout，\"saidStalkypolitelytothevisitors。
\"’Tisn’tfairtomixyouupinastudyrow。Besides，wecan’taffordtohaveevidence。\"
\"Areyougoingtobeginatonce？’saidAladdin。
\"Immediately，ifnotsooner，\"saidStalky，andturnedoutthegas。
\"Strong，perseverin’man——King。Makehimcry’Capivi。’G’way，Binjimin。\"
Thecompanyretreatedtotheirownneatandspaciousstudywithexpectantsouls。
\"WhenStalkyblowsouthisnostrilslikeahorse，\"saidAladdintotheEmperorofChina，\"he’sonthewar—path。’WonderwhatKingwillget。\"
\"Beans，\"saidtheEmperor。\"NumberFivegenerallypaysinfull。\"
\"WonderifIoughttotakeanynoticeofitofficially，\"saidAbanazar，whohadjustrememberedhewasaprefect。
\"It’snoneofyourbusiness，Pussy。Besides，ifyoudid，we’dhavethemhostiletous；andweshouldn’tbeabletodoanywork，\"saidAladdin。\"They’vebegunalready。\"
NowthatWest—Africanwar—drumhadbeenmadetosignalacrossestuariesanddeltas。
NumberFivewasforbiddentowaketheenginewithinearshotoftheschool。Butadeep，devastatingdronefilledthepassagesasMcTurkandBeetlescientificallyrubbeditstop。Anonitchangedtotheblareoftrumpets——ofsavagepursuingtrumpets。Then，asMcTurkslappedoneside，smoothwiththebloodofancientsacrifice，theroarbrokeintoshortcoughinghowlssuchasthewoundedgorillathrowsinhisnativeforest。ThesewerefollowedbythewrathofKing——threestepsatatime，upthestaircase，withadrywhirofthegown。Aladdinandcompany，listening，squeakedwithexcitementasthedoorcrashedopen。Kingstumbledintothedarkness，andcursedthoseperformersbythegodsofBalliolandquietrepose。
\"Turnedoutforaweek，\"saidAladdin，holdingthestudydooronthecrack。\"Keytobebroughtdowntohisstudyinfiveminutes。’Brutes！Barbarians！Savages！
Children！’He’sratheragitated。’Arrah，Patsy，mindthebaby，’\"hesanginawhisperasheclungtothedoor—knob，dancinganoiselesswar—dance。
Kingwentdown—stairsagain，andBeetleandMcTurklitthegastoconferwithStalky。ButStalkyhadvanished。
\"Lookslikenoendofamess，\"saidBeetle，collectinghisbooksandmathematicalinstrumentcase。\"Aweekintheform—roomsisn’tanyadvantagetous。\"
\"Yes，butdon’tyouseethatStalkyisn’there，youowl！\"saidMcTurk。\"Takedownthekey，andlooksorrowful。King’llonlyjawyouforhalfanhour。I’mgoingtoreadinthelowerform—room。\"
\"Butit’salwaysme，\"mournedBeetle。
\"Waittillwesee，\"saidMcTurk，hopefully。\"Idon’tknowanymorethanyoudowhatStalkymeans，butit’ssomething。GodownanddrawKing’sfire。You’reusedtoit。\"
Nosoonerhadthekeyturnedinthedoorthanthelidofthecoal—box，whichwasalsothewindow—seat，liftedcautiously。Ithadbeenatightfit，evenforthelitheStalky，hisheadbetweenhisknees，andhisstomachunderhisrightear。Fromadrawerinthetablehetookawell—worncatapult，ahandfulofbuckshot，andaduplicatekeyofthestudy；noiselesslyheraisedthewindowandkneeledbyit，hisfaceturnedtotheroad，thewind—slopedtrees，thedarklevelsoftheBurrows，andthewhitelineofbreakersfallingnine—deepalongthePebbleridge。Fardownthesteep—bankedDevonshirelaneheheardthehuskyhootofthecarrier’shorn。Therewasaghostofmelodyinit，asitmighthavebeenthewindinagin—bottleessayingtosing，\"It’sawaywehaveintheArmy。\"
Stalkysmiledatight—lippedsmile，andatextremerangeopenedfire：theoldhorsehalfwheeledintheshafts。
\"Wherehegwainetu？\"hiccoughedRabbits—Eggs。Anotherbuckshottorethroughtherottencanvastiltwithaviciouszipp。
\"_Habet_！\"murmuredStalky，asRabbits—Eggssworeintothepatientnight，protestingthathesawthe\"dommedcolleger\"whowasassaultinghim。
\"Andso，\"KingwassayinginahighheadvoicetoBeetle，whomhehadkepttoplaywithbeforeMandersminor，wellknowingthatithurtsaFifth—formboytobehelduptoafag’sderision，\"andso，MasterBeetle，inspiteofallourverses，whichwearesoproudof，whenwepresumetocomeintodirectconflictwithevensohumblearepresentativeofauthorityasmyself，forinstance，weareturnedoutofourstudies，arewenot？\"
\"Yes，sir，\"saidBeetle，withasheepishgrinonhislipsandmurderinhisheart。
Hopehadnearlylefthim，butheclungtoawell—establishedfaiththatneverwasStalkysodangerousaswhenhewasinvisible。
\"Youare_not_requiredtocriticise，thankyou。Turnedoutofourstudies，weare，justasifwewerenobetterthanlittleMandersminor。Onlyinkyschoolboysweare，andmustbetreatedassuch。\"
Beetleprickeduphisears，forRabbits—Eggswasswearingsavagelyontheroad，andsomeofthelanguageenteredattheuppersash。Kingbelievedinventilation。Hestrodetothewindowgownedandmajestic，veryvisibleinthegaslight。
\"Izee’un！Izee’un！\"roaredRabbits—Eggs，nowthathehadfoundavisiblefoe——anothershotfromthedarknessabove。\"Yiss，yeou，yeoulong—nosed，fower—eyed，gingy—whiskeredbeggar！Yeu’mtuoldforsuchgoin’son。Aie！Poulticeyeournose，I
tall’ee！Poulticeyeourlongnose！\"
Beetle’sheartleapedupwithinhim。Somewhere，somehow，heknew，Stalkymovedbehindthesemanifestations。Therewerehopeandtheprospectofrevenge。Hewouldembodythesuggestionaboutthenoseindeathlessverse。Kingthrewupthewindow，andsternlyrebukedRabbits—Eggs。Butthecarrierwasbeyondfearorfawning。Hehaddescendedfromthecart，andwasstoopingbytheroadside。
Itallfellswiftlyasadream。Mandersminorraisedhishandtohisheadwithacry，asajaggedflintcannonedontosomerichtree—calfbindingsinthebookshelf。
Anotherquoitedalongthewriting—table。Beetlemadezealousfeinttostopit，andinthatendeavoroverturnedastudent’slamp，whichdripped，_via_King’spapersandsomechoicebooks，greasilyontoaPersianrug。Therewasmuchbrokenglassonthewindow—seat；thechinabasket——McTurk’saversion——crackedtoflinders，haddroppedhermuskplantanditsearthovertheredrepcushions；Mandersminorwasbleedingprofuselyfromacutonthecheek—bone；andKing，usingstrangewords，everyoneofwhichBeetletreasured，ranforthtofindtheschool—sergeant，thatRabbits—Eggsmightbeinstantlycastintojail。
\"Poorchap！\"saidBeetle，withafalse，feignedsympathy。\"Letitbleedalittle。
That’llpreventapoplexy，\"andheheldtheblindheadskilfullyoverthetable，andthepapersonthetable，asheguidedthehowlingManderstothedoor。
ThendidBeetle，alonewiththewreckage，returngoodforevil。How，inthatoffice，acompletesetof\"Gibbon\"wasscarredallalongthebackasbyaflint；howsomuchblackandcopyinginkcametobemingledwithManders’sgoreonthetable—cloth；whythebiggum—bottle，unstoppered，hadrolledsemicircularlyacrossthefloor；andinwhatmannerthewhitechinadoor—knobgrewtobepaintedwithyetmoreofManders’syoungblood，werematterswhichBeetledidnotexplainwhentherabidKingreturnedtofindhimstandingpolitelyoverthereekinghearth—rug。
\"Younevertoldmetogo，sir，\"hesaid，withtheairofCasabianca，andKingconsignedhimtotheouterdarkness。
Butitwastoaboot—cupboardunderthestaircaseonthegroundfloorthathehastened，toloosethemirththatwasdestroyinghim。Hehadnotdrawnbreathforafirstwhoopoftriumphwhentwohandschokedhimdumb。
\"Gotothedormitoryandgetmemythings。Bring’emtoNumberFivelavatory。I’mstillintights，\"hissedStalky，sittingonhishead。\"Don’trun。Walk。\"
ButBeetlestaggeredintotheform—roomnextdoor，anddelegatedhisdutytotheyetunenlightenedMcTurk，withanhystericalprecisofthecampaignthusfar。SoitwasMcTurk，ofthewoodenvisage，whobroughttheclothesfromthedormitorywhileBeetlepantedonaform。ThenthethreeburiedthemselvesinNumberFivelavatory，turnedonallthetaps，filledtheplacewithsteam，anddroppedweepingintothebaths，wheretheypiecedoutthewar。
\"_Moi_！_Je_！_Ich_！_Ego_！\"gaspedStalky。\"IwaitedtillIcouldn’thearmyselfthink，whileyouplayedthedrum！Hidinthecoal—locker——andtweakedRabbits—Eggs——andRabbits—EggsrockedKing。Wasn’titbeautiful？Didyouheartheglass？\"
\"Why，he——he——he，\"shriekedMcTurk，onetremblingfingerpointedatBeetle。
\"Why，I——I——Iwasthroughitall，\"Beetlehowled；\"inhisstudy，beingjawed。\"
\"Oh，mysoul！\"saidStalkywithayell，disappearingunderwater。
\"The——theglasswasnothing。Mandersminor’shead’scutopen。La——la——lampupsetallovertherug。Bloodonthebooksandpapers。Thegum！Thegum！Thegum！Theink！Theink！Theink！Oh，Lord！\"
ThenStalkyleapedout，allpinkashewas，andshookBeetleintosomesortofcoherence；buthistaleprostratedthemafresh。
\"Ibunkedfortheboot—cupboardthesecondIheardKinggodown—stairs。Beetletumbledinontopofme。Thesparekey’shidbehindthelooseboard。Thereisn’tashadowofevidence，\"saidStalky。Theywereallchantingtogether。
\"Andheturnedusouthimself——himself——himself！\"ThisfromMcTurk。\"Hecan’tbegintosuspectus。Oh，Stalky，it’stheloveliestthingwe’veeverdone。\"
\"Gum！Gum！Dollopsofgum！\"shoutedBeetle，hisspectaclesgleamingthroughaseaoflather。\"Inkandbloodallmixed。Iheldthelittlebeast’sheadallovertheLatinprosesforMonday。Golly，howtheoilstunk！AndRabbits—EggstoldKingtopoulticehisnose！DidyouhitRabbits—Eggs，Stalky？\"
\"DidIjollywellnot。？Tweakedhimallover。Didyouhearhimcurse？Oh，IshallbesickinaminuteifIdon’tstop。\"
Butdressingwasaslowprocess，becauseMcTurkwasobligedtodancewhenheheardthatthemuskbasketwasbroken，and，moreover，BeetleretailedallKing’slanguagewithemendationsandpurpleinsets。
\"Shockin’！’saidStalky，collapsinginahelplesswelterofhalf—hitchedtrousers。
\"Sodam’bad，too，forinnocentboyslikeus！Wonderwhatthey’dsayat’St。
Winifred’s，ortheWorldofSchool。’——Bygum！ThatremindsmeweowetheLowerThirdoneforassaultin’BeetlewhenhechiviedMandersminor。Comeon！It’sanalibi，Samivel；and，besides，ifwelet’emoffthey’llbeworsenexttime。\"
TheLowerThirdhadsetaguardupontheirform—roomforthespaceofafullhour，whichtoaboyisalifetime。NowtheywerebusywiththeirSaturdayeveningbusinesses——cookingsparrowsoverthegaswithrustynibs；brewingunholydrinksingallipots；skinningmoleswithpocket—knives；attendingtopapertraysfullofsilkworms，ordiscussingtheiniquitiesoftheirelderswithafreedom，fluency，andpointthatwouldhaveamazedtheirparents。Theblowfellwithoutwarning。Stalkyupsetaformcrowdedwithsmallboysamongtheirowncookingutensils，McTurkraidedtheuntidylockersasaterrierdigsatarabbit—hole，whileBeetlepouredinkuponsuchheadsashecouldnotappealtowithaSmith’sClassicalDictionary。Threebriskminutesaccountedformanysilkworms，petlarvae，Frenchexercises，schoolcaps，half—preparedbonesandskulls，andadozenpotsofhome—madesloejam。Itwasagreatwreckage，andtheform—roomlookedasthoughthreeconflictingtempestshadsmittenit。
\"Phew！\"saidStalky，drawingbreathoutsidethedoor（amidgroansof\"Oh，youbeastlyca—ads！Youthinkyourselvesawfulfunny，\"andsoforth）。\"_That’s_allright。Neverletthesungodownuponyourwrath。Rummylittledevils，fags。Gotnonotiono’combinin’。\"
\"Sixof’emsatonmyheadwhenIwentinafterMandersminor，\"saidBeetle。\"I
warned’emwhatthey’dget，though。\"
\"Everybodypaidinfull——beautifulfeelin’，\"saidMcTurkabsently，astheystrolledalongthecorridor。\"Don’tthinkwe’dbettersaymuchaboutKing，though，doyou，Stalky？\"
\"Not_much_。Ourlineisinjuredinnocence，ofcourse——sameaswhentheSergeantreportedusonsuspicionofsmokinginthebunkers。IfIhadn’tthoughtofbuyin’
thepepperandspillin’italloverourclothes，he’dhavesmeltus。Kingwasgha—astlyfacetiousaboutthat。’Calledusbird—stuffersinformforaweek。\"
\"Ah，KinghatestheNaturalHistorySocietybecauselittleHartoppispresident。
Mustn’tdoanythingintheColl。withoutglorifyin’King，\"saidMcTurk。\"Buthemustbeaputridass，know，tosupposeatourtimeo’lifewe’dgoandstuffbirdslikefags。\"
\"PooroldKing！\"saidBeetle。\"He’sunpopularinCommon—room，andthey’llchaffhisheadoffaboutRabbits—Eggs。Golly！Howlovely！Howbeautiful！Howholy！Butyoushouldhaveseenhisfacewhenthefirstrockcamein！_And_theearthfromthebasket！\"
Sotheywereallstrickenhelplessforfiveminutes。
TheyrepairedatlasttoAbanazar’sstudy，andwerereceivedreverently。
\"What’sthematter？\"saidStalky，quicktorealizenewatmospheres。
\"Youknowjollywell，\"saidAbanazar。\"You’llbeexpelledifyougetcaught。Kingisagibberingmaniac。\"
\"Who？Which？What？Expelledforhow？Weonlyplayedthewar—drum。We’vegotturnedoutforthatalready。\"
\"Doyouchapsmeantosayyoudidn’tmakeRabbits—EggsdrunkandbribehimtorockKing’srooms？\"
\"Bribehim？No，thatI’llswearwedidn’t，\"saidStalky，witharelievedheart，forhelovednottotelllies。\"Whatalowmindyou’vegot，Pussy！We’vebeendownhavingabath。DidRabbits—EggsrockKing？Strong，perseverin’manKing？Shockin’！\"
\"Awf’ly。King’sfrothingatthemouth。There’sbellforprayers。Comeon。\"
\"Waitasec，\"saidStalky，continuingtheconversationinaloudandcheerfulvoice，astheydescendedthestairs。\"WhatdidRabbits—EggsrockKingfor？\"
\"Iknow，\"saidBeetle，astheypassedKing’sopendoor。\"Iwasinhisstudy。\"
\"Hush，youass！\"hissedtheEmperorofChina。\"Oh，he’sgonedowntoprayers，\"saidBeetle，watchingtheshadowofthehouse—masteronthewall。\"Rabbits—Eggswasonlyabitdrunk，swearin’athishorse，andKingjawedhimthroughthewindow，andthen，ofcourse，herockedKing。\"
\"Doyoumeantosay，\"saidStalky，\"thatKingbeganit？\"
Kingwasbehindthem，andeverywell—weighedwordwentupthestaircaselikeanarrow。\"Icanonlyswear，\"saidBeetle，\"thatKingcursedlikeabargee。Simplydisgustin’。I’mgoin’towritetomyfatheraboutit。\"
\"BetterreportittoMason，\"suggestedStalky。\"Heknowsourtenderconsciences。
Holdonashake。I’vegottotiemybootlace。\"
Theotherstudyhurriedforward。Theydidnotwishtobedraggedintostageasidesofthisnature。SoitwaslefttoMcTurktosumupthesituationbeneaththegunsoftheenemy。
\"Yousee，\"saidtheIrishman，hangingonthebanister，\"hebeginsbybullyinglittlechaps；thenhebulliesthebigchaps；thenhebulliessomeonewhoisn’tconnectedwiththeCollege，andthencatchesit。Serveshimjollywellright……Ibegyourpardon，sir。Ididn’tseeyouwerecomingdownthestaircase。\"
Theblackgowntorepastlikeathunder—storm，andinitswake，threeabreast，armslinked，theAladdincompanyrolledupthebigcorridortoprayers，singingwithmostinnocentintention：
\"Arrah，Patsy，mindthebaby！Arrah，Patsy，mindthechild！
Wraphimupinanovercoat，he’ssurelygoin’wild！
Arrah，Patsy，mindthebaby；justyemindthechildawhile！
He’llkickan’bitean’cryallnight！Arrah，Patsy，mindthechild！\"
ANUNSAVORYINTERLUDE。
ItwasamaidenauntofStalkywhosenthimbothbooks，withtheinscription，\"TodearestArtie，onhissixteenthbirthday；\"itwasMcTurkwhoorderedtheirhypothecation；anditwasBeetle，returnedfromBideford，whoflungthemonthewindow—sillofNumberFivestudywithnewsthatBastablewouldadvancebutninepenceonthetwo；\"Eric；or，LittlebyLittle，\"beingalmostasgreatadrugas\"St。
Winifred’s。\"\"An’Idon’tthinkmuchofyouraunt。We’renearlyoutofcartridges，too——Artie，dear。\"
WhereuponStalkyroseuptograpplewithhim，butMcTurksatonStalky’shead，callinghima\"pure—mindedboy\"tillpeacewasdeclared。AstheyweregrievouslyinarrearswithaLatinprose，asitwasablazingJulyafternoon，andastheyoughttohavebeenatahousecricket—match，theybegantorenewtheiracquaintance，intimateandunholy，withthevolumes。
\"Hereweare！\"saidMcTurk。\"’CorporalpunishmentproducedonErictheworsteffects。Heburned_not_withremorseorregret’——makeanoteo’that，Beetle——’butwithshameandviolentindignation。Heglared’——oh，naughtyEric！Let’sgettowherehegoesinfordrink。\"
\"Holdonhalfashake。Here’sanothersample。’TheSixth，’hesays，’isthepalladiumofallpublicschools。’Butthislot——\"Stalkyrappedthegildedbook——\"can’tpreventfellowsdrinkin’andstealin’，an’lettin’fagsoutofwindowatnight，an’——an’doin’whattheyplease。Golly，whatwe’vemissed——notgoin’toSt。
Winifred’s！……\"
\"I’msorrytoseeanyboysofmyhousetakingsolittleinterestintheirmatches。\"
Mr。Proutcouldmoveverysilentlyifhepleased，thoughthatisnomeritinaboy’seyes。Hehadflungopenthestudy—doorwithoutknocking——anothersin——andlookedatthemsuspiciously。\"Verysorry，indeed，Iamtoseeyoufrowstinginyourstudies。\"
\"We’vebeenouteversincedinner，sir，\"said。McTurkwearily。Onehouse—matchisjustlikeanother，andtheir\"ploy\"ofthatweekhappenedtoberabbit—shootingwithsaloon—pistols。
\"Ican’tseeaballwhenit’scoming，sir，\"saidBeetle。\"I’vehadmygig—lampssmashedattheNetstillIgotexcused。Iwasn’tanygoodevenasafag，then，sir。\"
\"Tuckisprobablyyourform。Tuckandbrewing。Whycan’tyouthreetakeanyinterestinthehonorofyourhouse？\"
Theyhadheardthatphrasetilltheywerewearied。The\"honorofthehouse\"wasProut’sweakpoint，andtheyknewwellhowtoflickhimontheraw。
\"Ifyouorderustogodown，sir，ofcoursewe’llgo，\"saidStalky，withmaddeningpoliteness。ButProutknewbetterthanthat。Hehadtriedtheexperimentonceatabigmatch，whenthethree，self—isolated，stoodtoattentionforhalfanhourinfullviewofallthevisitors，towhomfags，subsidizedforthatend，pointedthemoutasvictimsofProut’styranny。AndProutwasasensitiveman。
IntheinfinitelypettyconfederaciesoftheCommon—room，KingandMacrea，fellowhouse—masters，hadborneitinuponhimthatbygames，andgamesalone，wassalvationwrought。Boysneglectedwereboyslost。Theymustbedisciplined。Lefttohimself，Proutwouldhavemadeasympathetichouse—master；buthewasneversoleft，andwiththedevilishinsightofyouth，theboysknewtowhomtheywereindebtedforhiszeal。
\"Mustwegodown，sir？’saidMcTurk。
\"Idon’twanttoorderyoutodowhataright—thinkingboyshoulddogladly。I’msorry。\"Andhelurchedoutwithsomehazyimpressionthathehadsowngoodseedonpoorground。
\"Nowwhatdoeshesupposeistheuseofthat？\"saidBeetle。
\"Oh，he’scracked。KingjawshiminCommon—roomaboutnotkeepin’usuptothemark，an’Macreaburblesabout’dithcipline，’an’oldHeffysitsbetween’emsweatin’bigdrops。IheardOke（theCommon—roombutler）talkingtoRichards（Prout’shouse—servant）aboutitdowninthebasementtheotherdaywhenIwentdowntobagsomebread，\"saidStalky。
\"WhatdidOkesay？\"demandedMcTurk，throwing\"Eric\"intoacorner。
\"Oh，hesaid，’Theymakemorenisenoranestfullo’jackdaws，an’halfofitlikewe’dnoearstoourheadsthatwaitedon’em。TheytalksoveroldProut——whathe’vedonean’leftundoneabouthisboys。An’howtheirboysbefineboys，an’his’nbedombad。’Well，Oketalkedlikethat，youknow，andRichardsgotawf’lywrathy。HehasadownonKingforsomethingorother。Wonderwhy？\"
\"Why，KingtalksaboutProutinform—room——makesallusions，an’allthat——onlyhalfthechapsaresuchassestheycan’tseewhathe’sdrivin’at。Andd’yourememberwhathesaidaboutthe’CasualHouse’lastTuesday？Hemeantus。Theysayhesaysperfectlybeastlythingstohisownhouse，makingfunofProut’s，\"saidBeetle。
\"Well，wedidn’tcomeheretomixupintheirrows，\"McTurksaidwrathfully。\"Who’llbatheaftercall—over？King’stakin’itinthecricket—field。Comeon。\"Turkeyseizedhisstrawandledtheway。
Theyreachedthesun—blisteredpavilionoveragainstthegrayPebbleridgejustbeforeroll—call，and，askingnoquestions，gatheredfromKing’svoiceandmannerthathishousewasontheroadtovictory。
\"Ah，ha！\"saidhe，turningtoshowthelightofhiscountenance。\"HerewehavetheornamentsoftheCasualHouseatlast。Youconsidercricketbeneathyou，Ibelieve\"——thecrowd，flannelled，sniggered\"andfromwhatIhaveseenthisafternoon，I
fancymanyothersofyourhouseholdthesameview。AndmayIaskwhatyoupurposetodowithyournobleselvestilltea—time？\"
\"Goingdowntobathe，sir，\"saidStalky。
\"Andwhencethissuddenzealforcleanliness？Thereisnothingaboutyouthatparticularlysuggestsit。Indeed，sofarasIremember——Imaybeatfault——butashorttimeago——\"
\"Fiveyears，sir，\"saidBeetlehotly。
Kingscowled。\"_One_ofyouwasthatthingcalledawater—funk。Yes，awater—funk。
Sonowyouwishtowash？Itiswell。Cleanlinessneverinjuredaboyor——ahouse。Wewillproceedtobusiness，\"andheaddressedhimselftothecall—overboard。
\"Whatthedeucedidyousayanythingtohimfor，Beetle？\"saidMcTurkangrily，astheystrolledtowardsthebig，opensea—baths。
\"’Twasn’tfair——remindin’oneofbein’awater—funk。Myfirstterm，too。Heapsofchapsare——whentheycan’tswim。\"
\"Yes，youass；buthesawhe’dfetchedyou。YououghtnevertoanswerKing。\"
\"Butitwasn’tfair，Stalky。\"
\"MyHat！You’vebeenheresixyears，andyouexpectfairness。Well，youareaditheringidiot。\"
AknotofKing’sboys，alsoboundforthebaths，hailedthem，beseechingthemtowash——forthehonoroftheirhouse。
\"That’swhatcomesofKing’sjawin’andmessin’。Thoseyounganimalswouldn’thavethoughtofitunlesshe’dputitintotheirheads。Nowthey’llbefunnyaboutitforweeks，\"saidStalky。\"Don’ttakeanynotice。\"
Theboyscamenearer，shoutinganopprobriousword。Atlasttheymovedtowindward，ostentatiouslyholdingtheirnoses。
\"That’spretty，\"saidBeetle。\"They’llbesayin’ourhousestinksnext。\"
Whentheyreturnedfromthebaths，damp—headed，languid，atpeacewiththeworld，Beetle’sforecastcameonlytootrue。Theyweremetinthecorridorbyafag——acommon，Lower—Secondfag——whoatarm’slengthhandedthemacarefullywrappedpieceofsoap\"withthecomplimentsofKing’sHouse。\"
\"Holdon，\"saidStalky，checkingimmediateattack。\"Whoputyouuptothis，Nixon？
RattrayandWhite？（ThoseweretwoleadersinKing’shouse。）Thankyou。There’snoanswer。\"
\"Oh，it’stoosickeningtohavethiskindo’rotshovedontoachap。What’sthesenseofit？What’sthefunofit？\"saidMcTurk。
\"Itwillgoontotheendoftheterm，though，\"Beetlewaggedhisheadsorrowfully。
Hehadwornmanyjeststhreadbareonhisownaccount。
InafewdaysitbecameanestablishedlegendoftheschoolthatProut’shousedidnotwashandwerethereforenoisome。Mr。KingwaspleasedtosmilesucculentlyinformwhenoneofhisboysdrewasidefromBeetlewithcertaingestures。
\"Thereseemstobesomedisabilityattachingtoyou，myBeetle，orelsewhyshouldBurtonmajorwithdraw，sotospeak，thehemofhisgarments？IconfessIamstillinthedark。Willsomeonebegoodenoughtoenlightenme？\"
Naturally，hewasenlightenedbyhalftheform。
\"Extraordinary！Mostextraordinary！However，eachhousehasitstraditions，withwhichIwouldnotfortheworldinterfere。_We_haveaprejudiceinfavorofwashing。Goon，Beetle——from’_jugurtha_tamen_’——and，ifyoucan，avoidthemoreflagrantformsofguessing。\"
Prout’shousewasfuriousbecauseMacrea’sandHartopp’shousesjoinedKing’stoinsultthem。Theycalledahouse—meetingafterdinner——anexcitedandangrymeetingofallsavetheprefects，whosedignity，thoughtheysympathized，didnotallowthemtoattend。Theyreadungrammaticalresolutions，andmadespeechesbeginning，\"Gentlemen，wehavemetonthisoccasion，\"andendingwith，\"It’sabeastlyshame，\"
preciselyashouseshavedonesincetimeandschoolsbegan。
NumberFivestudyattended，withitsusualairofblandpatronage。AtlastMcTurk，ofthelanthornjaws，deliveredhimself：
\"Youjabberandjawandburble，andthat’saboutallyoucando。What’sthegoodofit？King’shouse’llonlygloatbecausethey’vedrawnyou，andKingwillgloat，too。
Besides，thatresolutionofOrrin’sischock—fullofbadgrammar，andKing’llgloatoverthat。\"
\"Ithoughtyouan’Beetlewouldputitright，an’——an’we’dpostitinthecorridor，\"saidthecomposermeekly。
\"_Par_si_je_le_connai_。I’mnotgoin’tomeddlewiththebiznai，\"saidBeetle。\"It’sagloatforKing’shouse。Turkey’squiteright。\"
\"Well，won’tStalky，then？\"
ButStalkypuffedouthischeeksandsquinteddownhisnoseinthestyleofPanurge，andallhesaidwas，\"Oh，youabjectburblers！\"
\"You’rethreebeastlyscabs！\"wastheinstantretortofthedemocracy，andtheywentoutamidexecrations。
\"Thisispiffling，\"saidMcTurk。\"Let’sgetoursallies，andgoandshootbunnies。\"
Threesaloon—pistols，withasupplyofbulletedbreech—caps，werestoredinStalky’strunk，andthistrunkwasintheirdormitory，andtheirdormitorywasathree—bedatticone，openingoutofaten—bedestablishment，which，inturn，communicatedwiththegreatrangeofdormitoriesthatranpracticallyfromoneendoftheCollegetotheother。Macrea’shouselaynexttoProut’s，King’snexttoMacrea’s，andHartopp’sbeyondthatagain。Carefullylockeddoorsdividedhousefromhouse，buteachhouse，initsinternalarrangements——theCollegehadoriginallybeenaterraceoftwelvelargehouses——wasareplicaofthenext；onestraightroofcoveringall。
TheyfoundStalky’sbeddrawnoutfromthewalltotheleftofthedormerwindow，andthelatterendofRichardsprotrudingfromatwo—foot—squarecupboardinthewall。
\"What’sallthis？I’venevernoticeditbefore。Whatareyoutryin’todo，Fatty？\"
\"Fillin’basins，MusterCorkran。\"Richards’svoicewashollowandmuffled。\"They’vebeensavin’metrouble。Yiss。\"
\"’Lookslikeit，\"saidMcTurk。\"Hi！You’llstickifyoudon’ttakecare。\"
Richardsbackedpuffing。
\"Ican’tracheun。Yiss，’tessaturncock，MusterMcTurk。They’vetookan’runnedallthewatter—pipesastoreyhigherinthehouses——runned’emallalongunderthe’angoftheheaves，like。Runned’eminlastholidays。_I_can’trachetheturncock。\"
\"Letmetry，\"saidStalky，divingintotheaperture。
\"Slip’eetotheleft，then，MusterCorkran。Slip’eetotheleft，an’feelinthedark。\"
TotheleftStalkywriggled，andsawalonglineofleadpipedisappearingupatriangulartunnel，whoseroofwastheraftersandboardingofthecollegeroof，whosefloorwassharp—edgedjoists，andwhosesidewastheroughstuddingofthelathandplasterwallunderthedormer。
\"Rummyshow。Howfardoesitgo？\"
\"Rightalong，MusterCorkran——rightalongfromendtoend。Herrunsunderthe’angoftheheaves。Have’eerachedthestopcockyet？Mr。Kinggotunputintosaveuscarryin’watterfromdown—stairstofillthebasins。NoplaceforalustymanlikeoldRichards。I’mtuthickabouttogoferritin’。Thank’ee，MusterCorkran。\"
Thewatersquirtedthroughthetapjustinsidethecupboard，and，havingfilledthebasins，thegratefulRichardswaddledaway。
Theboyssatround—eyedontheirbedsconsideringthepossibilitiesofthistrove。
Twofloorsbelowthemtheycouldhearthehumoftheangryhouse；fornothingissostillasadormitoryinmid—afternoonofamidsummerterm。
\"Ithasbeenpaperedovertillnow。\"McTurkexaminedthelittledoor。\"Ifwe’donlyknownbefore！\"
\"Ivotewegodownandexplore。Noonewillcomeupthistimeo’day。Weneedn’tkeep_cave’_。\"
Theycrawledin，Stalkyleading，drewthedoorbehindthem，andonallfoursembarkedonadarkanddirtyroadfullofplaster，oddshavings，andalltherafflethatbuildersleaveinthewasteroomofahouse。Thepassagewasperhapsthreefeetwide，and，exceptforthestrugglinglightroundtheedgesofthecupboards（therewasonetoeachdormer），almostpitchydark。
\"Here’sMacrea’shouse，\"saidStalky，hiseyeatthecrackofthethirdcupboard。\"I
canseeBarnes’snameonhistrunk。Don’tmakesucharow，Beetle！WecangetrighttotheendoftheColl。Comeon！……We’reinKing’shousenow——IcanseeabitofRattray’strunk。Howthesebeastlyboardshurtone’sknees！\"Theyheardhisnailsscraping，onplaster。
\"That’stheceilingbelow。Lookout！Ifwesmashedthattheplaster’udfalldowninthelowerdormitory，\"saidBeetle。
\"Let’s，\"whisperedMcTurk。
\"An’becollaredfirstthing？Notmuch。Why，Icanshovemyhandeversofarupbetweentheseboards。\"
Stalkythrustanarmtotheelbowbetweenthejoists。
\"Nogoodstayin’here。Ivotewegobackandtalkitover。It’sacrummyplace。
’MustsayI’mgratefultoKingforhiswater—works。\"
Theycrawledout，brushedoneanotherclean，slidthesaloon—pistolsdownatrouser—leg，andhurriedforthtoadeepandsolitaryDevonshirelaneinwhoseflanksaboymightsometimesslayayoungrabbit。Theythrewthemselvesdownundertherankelderbushes，andbegantothinkaloud。
\"Youknow，\"saidStalkyatlast，sightingatadistantsparrow，\"wecouldhideoursalliesintherelikeanything。\"
\"Huh！\"Beetlesnorted，choked，andgurgled。Hehadbeensilentsincetheyleftthedormitory。\"Didyoueverreadabookcalled’TheHistoryofaHouse’orsomething？I
gotitoutofthelibrarytheotherday。AFrenchwomanwroteit——Violetsomebody。
Butit’stranslated，youknow；andit’sveryinterestin’。Tellsyouhowahouseisbuilt。\"
\"Well，ifyou’reinasweattofindoutthat，youcangodowntothenewcottagesthey’rebuildingforthecoastguard。\"
\"MyHat！Iwill。\"Hefeltinhispockets。\"Givemetuppence，someone。\"
\"Rot！Stayhere，anddon’tmessaboutinthesun。\"
\"Gi’metuppence。\"
\"Isay，Beetle，youaren’tstuffyaboutanything，areyou？\"saidMcTurk，handingoverthecoppers。Histonewasserious，forthoughStalkyoften，andMcTurkoccasionally，manoeuvredonhisownaccount，Beetlehadneverbeenknowntodosoinallthehistoryoftheconfederacy。
\"No，I’mnot。I’mthinking。\"
\"Well，we’llcome，too，\"saidStalky，withageneral’ssuspicionofhisaides。
\"Don’twantyou。\"
\"Oh，leavehimalone。He’sbeentakenworsewithapoem，\"saidMcTurk。\"He’llgoburblingdowntothePebbleridgeandspititallupinthestudywhenhecomesback。\"
\"Thenwhydidhewantthetuppence，Turkey？He’sgettin’toobeastlyindependent。
Hi！There’sabunny。No，itain’t。It’sacat，byJove！Youplugfirst。\"
Twentyminuteslateraboywithastrawhatatthebackofhishead，andhishandsinhispockets，wasstaringatworkmenastheymovedaboutahalf—finishedcottage。
Heproducedsomeferocioustobacco，andwaspassedfromtheforecourtintotheinterior，whereheaskedmanyquestions。
\"Well，let’shaveyourbeastlyepic，\"saidTurkey，astheyburstintothestudy，tofindBeetledeepinViollet—le—Ducandsomedrawings。\"We’vehadnoendofalark。\"
\"Epic？Whatepic？I’vebeendowntothecoastguard。\"
\"Noepic？Thenwewillslayyou，OBeetle，\"saidStalky，movingtotheattack。
\"You’vegotsomethingupyoursleeve。_I_know，whenyoutalkinthattone！\"
\"YourUncleBeetle\"——withanattempttoimitateStalky’swar—voice——\"isagreatman。\"
\"Oh，no；hejollywellisn’tanythingofthekind。Youdeceiveyourself，Beetle。
Scraghim，Turkey！\"
\"Agreatman，\"Beetlegurgledfromthefloor。\"_You_arefutile——lookoutformytie！——futileburblers。IamtheGreatMan。Igloat。Ouch！Hearme！\"
\"Beetle，de—ah\"——StalkydroppedunreservedlyonBeetle’schest——\"weloveyou，an’
you’reapoet。IfIeversaidyouwereadoggaroo，Iapologize；butyouknowaswellaswedothatyoucan’tdoanythingbyyourselfwithoutmuckingit。\"
\"I’vegotanotion。\"
\"Andyou’llspoilthewholeshowifyoudon’ttellyourUncleStalky。Coughitup，ducky，andwe’llseewhatwecando。Notion，youfatimpostor——Iknewyouhadanotionwhenyouwentaway！Turkeysaiditwasapoem。\"
\"I’vefoundouthowhousesarebuilt。Le’megetup。Thefloor—joistsofoneroomaretheceiling—joistsoftheroombelow。\"
\"Don’tbesofilthytechnical。\"
\"Well，themantoldme。Thefloorislaidontopofthosejoists——thoseboardsonedgethatwecrawledover——butthefloorstopsatapartition。Well，ifyougetbehindapartition，sameasyoudidintheattic，don’tyouseethatyoucanshoveanythingyoupleaseunderthefloorbetweenthefloor—boardsandthelathandplasteroftheceilingbelow？Lookhere。I’vedrawnit。\"
Heproducedarudesketch，sufficienttoenlightentheallies。Thereisnopartofthemodernschoolcurriculumthatdealswitharchitecture，andnoneofthemhadyetreflectedwhetherfloorsandceilingswereholloworsolid。Outsidehisownimmediateintereststheboyisasignorantasthesavagehesoadmires；buthehasalsothesavage’sresource。
\"Isee，\"saidStalky。\"Ishovedmyhandthere。An’then？\"
\"An’thenThey’vebeencallingusstinkers，youknow。Wemightshovesomethin’
under——sulphur，orsomethingthatstunkprettybad——an’stink’emout。Iknowitcanbedonesomehow。\"Beetle’seyesturnedtoStalkyhandlingthediagrams。
\"Stinks？\"saidStalkyinterrogatively。Thenhisfacegrewluminouswithdelight。\"Bygum！I’vegotit。Horridstinks！Turkey！\"HeleapedattheIrishman。\"Thisafternoon——justafterBeetlewentaway！_She’s_theverything！\"
\"Cometomyarms，mybeamishboy，\"caroledMcTurk，andtheyfellintoeachother’sarmsdancing。\"Oh，frabjousday！Calloo，callay！Shewill！Shewill！\"
\"Holdon，\"saidBeetle。\"Idon’tunderstand。\"
\"Dearrman！Itshall，though。Oh，Artie，mypure—souledyouth，letustellourdarlingReggieaboutPestiferousStinkadores。\"
\"Notuntilaftercall—over。Comeon！\"
\"Isay，\"saidOrrin，stiffly，astheyfellintotheirplacesalongthewallsofthegymnasium。\"Thehousearegoin’toholdanothermeeting。\"
\"Holdaway，then。\"Stalky’smindwaselsewhere。
\"It’saboutyouthreethistime。\"
\"Allright，give’emmylove……_Here，_sir_，\"andhetoredownthecorridor。
Gambolinglikekidsatplay，withboundsandsidestarts，withcaperingsandcurvetings，theyledthealmostburstingBeetletotherabbit—lane，andfromunderapileofstonesdrewforththenew—slaincorpseofacat。ThendidBeetleseetheinnermeaningofwhathadgonebefore，andlifteduphisvoiceinthanksgivingforthattheworldheldwarriorssowiseasStalkyandMcTurk。
\"Well—nourishedoldlady，ain’tshe？\"saidStalky。\"Howlongd’yousupposeit’lltakehertogetabitwhiffinaconfinedspace？\"
\"Bitwhiff！Whatacoarsebruteyouare！\"saidMcTurk。\"Can’tapoorpussy—catgetunderKing’sdormitoryfloortodiewithoutyourpursuin’herwithyourfoulinnuendoes？\"
\"Whatdidshedieunderthefloorfor？’saidBeetle，lookingtothefuture。
\"Oh，theywon’tworryaboutthatwhentheyfindher，\"saidStalky。
\"Acatmaylookataking。\"McTurkrolleddownthebankathisownjest。\"Pussy，youdon’tknowhowusefulyou’regoin’tobetothreepure—souled，high—mindedboys。\"
\"They’llhavetotakeupthefloorforher，sameastheydidinNumberNinewhentheratcroaked。Bigmedicine——heapbigmedicine！Phew！Oh，Lord，IwishIcouldstoplaughin’，\"saidBeetle。
\"Stinks！Hi，stinks！Clammyones！\"McTurkgaspedasheregainedhisplace。\"And\"
——theexquisitehumorofitbroughtthemslidingdowntogetherinatangle——\"it’sallforthehonorofthehouse，too！\"
\"An’they’reholdin’anothermeeting——onus，\"Stalkypanted，hiskneesintheditchandhisfaceinthelonggrass。\"Well，let’sgetthebulletoutofherandhurryup。
Thesoonershe’sbeddedoutthebetter。\"
Betweenthemtheydidsomegrislyworkwithapenknife；betweenthem（asknotwhobuttonedhertohisbosom）theytookupthecorpseandhastenedback，Stalkyarrangingtheirplanofactionatthefulltrot。
Theafternoonsun，lyinginbroadpatchesonthebed—rugs，sawthreeboysandanumbrelladisappearintoadormitorywall。Infiveminutestheyemerged，brushedthemselvesallover，washedtheirhands，combedtheirhair，anddescended。
\"Areyousureyoushovedherfarenoughunder？\"saidMcTurksuddenly。
\"Hangit，man，IshovedherthefulllengthofmyarmandBeetle’sbrolly。Thatmustbeaboutsixfeet。She’sbunginthemiddleofKing’sbigupperten—bedder。Eligiblecentralsituation，_I_callit。She’llstinkouthischaps，andHartopp’sandMacrea’s，whenshereallybeginstofume。IswearyourUncleStalkyisagreatman。
Doyourealizewhatagreatmanheis，Beetle？\"
\"Well，Ihadthenotionfirst，hadn’tI——？only——\"
\"Youcouldn’tdoitwithoutyourUncleStalky，couldyou？\"
\"They’vebeencallingusstinkersforaweeknow，\"saidMcTurk。\"Oh，_won’t_theycatchit！\"
\"Stinker！Yah！Stink—ah！\"rangdownthecorridor。
\"Andshe’sthere，\"saidStalky，ahandoneitherboy’sshoulder。\"She——is——there，gettin’readytosurprise’em。Presentlyshe’llbegintowhisperto’emintheirdreams。Thenshe’llwhiff。Golly，howshe’llwhiff！Obligemebythinkin’ofitfortwominutes。\"
Theywenttotheirstudyinmoreorlessofsilence。Theretheybegantolaugh——laughasonlyboyscan。Theylaughedwiththeirforeheadsonthetables，oronthefloor；laughedatlength，curledoverthebacksofchairsorclingingtoabook—shelf；laughedthemselveslimp。
AndinthemiddleofitOrrinenteredonbehalfofthehouse。\"Don’tmindus，Orrin；
sitdown。Youdon’tknowhowwerespectandadmireyou。There’ssomethingaboutyourpure，highyoungforehead，fullofthedreamsofinnocentboyhood，that’snoendfetchin’。Itis，indeed。\"
\"Thehousesentmetogiveyouthis。\"Helaidafoldedsheetofpaperonthetableandretiredwithanawfulfront。
\"It’stheresolution！Oh，readit，someone。I’mtoosilly—sickwithlaughin’tosee，\"saidBeetle。Stalkyjerkeditopenwithaprecautionarysniff。\"Phew！Phew！
Listen。’_The_house_notices_with_pain_and_contempt_the_attitude_of_indiference_’
——howmanyf’sinindifference，Beetle？\"
\"Twoforchoice。\"
\"Onlyonehere——’_adopted_by_the_occupants_of_Number_Five_study_in_relation_to_
_the_insults_offered_to_Mr。_Prout’s_house_at_the_recent_meeting_in_Number_Twelve_
_form—room，_and_the_House_hereby_pass_a_vote_of_censure__on_the_said_study。_That’sall。\"
\"Andshebledalldownmyshirt，too！\"saidBeetle。
\"An’I’mcattyallover，\"saidMcTurk，\"thoughIwashedtwice。\"
\"An’InearlybrokeBeetle’sbrollyplantin’herwhereshewouldblossom！\"
Thesituationwasbeyondspeech，butnotlaughter。Therewassomeattemptthatnighttodemonstrateagainstthethreeintheirdormitory；sotheycameforth。
\"Yousee，\"Beetlebegansuavelyasheloosenedhisbraces，\"thetroublewithyouisthatyou’reasetofunthinkin’asses。You’venomorebrainsthanspidgers。We’vetoldyouthatheapsoftimes，haven’twe。？\"
\"We’llgivethethreeofyouadormitorylickin’。Youalwaysjawatusasifyouwereprefects，\"criedone。
\"Oh，no，youwon’t，\"saidStalky，\"becauseyouknowthatifyoudidyou’dgettheworstofitsoonerorlater。_We_aren’tinanyhurry。Wecanaffordtowaitforourlittlerevenges。You’vemadehowlin’assesofyourselves，andjustassoonasKinggetsholdofyourpreciousresolutionsto—morrowyou’llfindthatout。Ifyouaren’tsickan’sorrybyto—morrownight，I’ll——I’lleatmyhat。\"
Butoreverthedinner—bellrangthenextdayProut’sweresadlyawareoftheirerror。Kingreceivedstraymembersofthathousewithanexaggeratedattitudeoffear。DidtheypurposetocausehimtobedismissedfromtheCollegebyunanimousresolution？Whatweretheirviewsconcerningthegovernmentoftheschool，thathemighthastentogiveeffecttothem？hewouldnotoffendthemforworlds；buthefeared——hesadlyfeared——thathisownhouse，whodidnotpassresolutions（butwashed），mightsomewhatderide。
Kingwasahappyman，andhishouse，baskinginthefavorofhissmile，madethatafternoonalongpenancetothemisledProuts。AndProuthimself，withadullandloweringvisage，triedtothinkouttherightsandwrongsofitall，onlyplungingdeeperintobewilderment。Whyshouldhishousebecalled\"Stinkers\"？Truly，itwasasmallthing，buthehadbeentrainedtobelievethatstrawsshowwhichwaythewindblows，andthatthereisnosmokewithoutfire。HeapproachedKinginCommon—roomwithasenseofinjustice，butKingwaspleasedtobefullofairypersiflagethattide，andbrilliantlydanceddialecticalringsroundProut。
\"Now，\"saidStalkyatbedtime，makingpilgrimagethroughthedormitoriesbeforetheprefectscameby，\"_now_whathaveyougottosayforyourselves？Foster，Carton，Finch，Longbridge，Marlin，Brett！Iheardyouchapscatchin’itfromKing——hemadehayofyou——an’allyoucoulddowastowrigglean’grinan’say，’Yes，sir，’an’
’No，sir，’’an’’O，sir，’an’’Please，sir’！Youan’yourresolution！Urh！\"
\"Oh，shutup，Stalky。\"
\"Notabitofit。You’reagaudylotofresolutionists，youare！You’vemadeasweetmessofit。Perhapsyou’llhavethedecencytoleaveusalonenexttime。\"
Herethehousegrewangry，andinmanyvoicespointedouthowthisblunderwouldneverhavecometopassifNumberFivestudyhadhelpedthemfromthefirst。
\"Butyouchapsaresobeastlyconceited，an’——an’youswaggeredintothemeetin’asifwewerealotofidiots，\"growledOrrinoftheresolution。
\"That’spreciselywhatyouare！That’swhatwe’vebeentryin’tohammerintoyourthickheadsallthistime，\"saidStalky。\"Nevermind，we’llforgiveyou。Cheerup。
Youcan’thelpbein’asses，youknow，\"and，theenemy’sflankdeftlyturned，Stalkyhoppedintobed。
ThatnightwasthefirstofsorrowamongthejubilantKing’s。Bysomeaccidentofunder—floordraftsthecatdidnotvexthedormitorybeneathwhichshelay，butthenextonetotheright；stealingontheairratherasapale—bluesensationthanasanypoignantoffense。Butthemereadumbrationofanodorisenoughforthesensitivenoseandcleantongueofyouth。DecencydemandsthatwedrawseveralcarbolizedsheetsoverwhatthedormitorysaidtoMr。KingandwhatMr。Kingreplied。Hewasgenuinelyproudofhishouseandfastidiousinallthatconcernedtheirwell—being。Hecame；hesniffed；hesaidthings。Nextmorningaboyinthatdormitoryconfidedtohisbosomfriend，afagofMacrea’s，thattherewastroubleintheirmidstwhichKingwouldfainkeepsecret。
ButMacrea’sboyhadalsoabosomfriendinProut’s，ashock—headedfagofmalignantdisposition，who，whenhehadwormedoutthesecret，told——tolditinahigh—pitchedtreblethatrangalongthecorridorlikeabat’ssqueak。
\"An’——an’they’vebeencallingus’stinkers’allthisweek。Why，Harlandminorsaystheysimplycan’tsleepinhisdormitoryforthestink。Comeon！\"
\"Withoneshoutandwithonecry\"Prout’sjuniorshurledthemselvesintothewar，andthroughtheintervalbetweenfirstandsecondlessonsomefiftytwelve—year—oldswereembroiledonthegraveloutsideKing’swindowstoatunewhose_leit—motif_wastheword\"stinker。\"
\"Harktotheminute—gunatsea！\"saidStalky。Theywereintheirstudycollectingbooksforsecondlesson——Latin，withKing。\"Ithoughthisazurebrowwasabitcloudyatprayers。’Sheiscomin’，sisterMary。Sheis——’\"
\"Iftheymakesucharownow，whatwilltheydowhenshereallybeginstolookupan’takenotice？\"
\"Well，novulgarrepartee，Beetle。Aliwewantistokeepoutofthisrowlikegentlemen。\"
\"’Tisbutalittlefadedflower。’Where’smyHorace？Lookhere，Idon’tunderstandwhatshemeansbystinkin’outRattray’sdormitoryfirst。WeholedinunderWhite’s，didn’twe？\"askedMcTurk，withawrinkledbrow。
\"Skittishlittlething。She’srompin’aboutallovertheplace，Isuppose。\"
\"MyAunt！King’llbeacheerfulcustomeratsecondlesson。Ihaven’tpreparedmyHoraceonelittlebit，either，\"saidBeetle。\"Comeon！\"
Theywereoutsidetheform—roomdoornow。Itwaswithinfiveminutesofthebell，andKingmightarriveatanymoment。
Turkeyelbowedintoacohortofscufflingfags，cutoutThorntontertius（hethathadbeenHarland’sbosomfriend），andbadehimtellhistale。
Itwasasimpleone，interruptedbytears。ManyofKing’shousetrodalreadybatteredhimforlibel。
\"Oh，it’snothing，\"McTurkcried。\"HesaysthatKing’shousestinks。That’sall。\"
\"Stale！\"Stalkyshouted。\"Weknewthatyearsago，onlywedidn’tchoosetorunaboutshoutin’’stinker。’We’vegotsomemanners，irtheyhaven’t。Catchafag，Turkey，andmakesureofit。\"
Turkey’slongarmclosedonahurriedandanxiousornamentoftheLowerSecond。
\"Oh，McTurk，pleaseletmego。Idon’tstink——IswearIdon’t！\"
\"Guiltyconscience！\"criedBeetle。\"Whosaidyoudid？\"
\"Whatd’youmakeofit？\"StalkypuntedthesmallboyintoBeetle’sarms。
\"Snf！Snf！Hedoes，though。Ithinkit’sleprosy——orthrush。P’rapsit’sboth。Takeitaway。\"
\"Indeed，MasterBeetle\"——Kinggenerallycametothehouse—doorforaminuteortwoasthebellrang——\"wearevastlyindebtedtoyouforyourdiagnosis，whichseemstoreflectalmostasmuchcreditonthenaturalunwholesomenessofyourmindasitdoesuponyourpitifulignoranceofthediseasesofwhichyoudiscoursesoglibly。Wewill，however，testyourknowledgeinotherdirections。\"
Thatwasamerrylesson，but，inhishastetoscarifyBeetle，Kingcleanneglectedtogivehimanimposition，andsinceatthesametimehesuppliedhimwithmanypricelessadjectivesforlateruse，Beetlewaswellcontent，andappliedhimselfmostseriouslythroughoutthirdlesson（algebrawithlittleHartopp）tocomposingapoementitled\"TheLazar—house。\"
AfterdinnerKingtookhishousetobatheintheseaoffthePebbleridge。Itwasanoldpromise；buthewishedhecouldhaveevadedit，forallProut’slinedupbytheFivesCourtandcheeredwithintention。Inhisabsencenotlessthanhalftheschoolinvadedtheinfecteddormitorytodrawtheirownconclusions。Thecathadgainedinthelasttwelvehours，butabattlefieldofthefifthdaycouldnothavebeensoflamboyantasthespiesreported。
\"Myword，she_is_doin’herselfproud，\"saidStalky。\"Didyoueversmellanythinglikeit？Ah，an’sheisn’tunderWhite’sdormitoryatallyet。\"
\"Butshewillbe。Givehertime，\"saidBeetle。\"She’lltwinelikeagiddyhoneysuckle。Whathowlin’Lazaritestheyare！Nohouseisjustifiedinmakin’itselfastenchinthenostrilsofdecent——\"
\"High—minded，pure—souledboys。Doyouburnwithremorseandregret？\"saidMcTurk，astheyhastenedtomeetthehousecomingupfromthesea。Kinghaddesertedit，sospeechwasunfettered。Rounditsfrontplayedacrowdofskirmishers——allhousesmixed——flying，reforming，shriekinginsults。OnitstorturedflanksmarchedtheHoplites，seniorshurlingjestsoneafteranother——simpleandprimitivejestsoftheStoneAge。Tothesethethreeaddedthemselves，dispassionately，withanairofaloofness，almostsadly。
\"Andtheylookallright，too，\"saidStalky。\"Itcan’tbeRattray，canit？Rattray？\"
Noanswer。
\"Rattray，dear？Heseemsstuffyaboutsomethingorother。Lookhere，oldman，wedon’tbearanymaliceaboutyoursendingthatsoaptouslastweek，dowe？Becheerful，Rat。Youcanlivethisdownallright。Idaresayit’sonlyafewfags。
Yourhouseissobeastlyslack，though。\"
\"Youaren’tgoingbacktothehouse，areyou？\"saidMcTurk。Thevictimsdesirednothingbetter。\"You’vesimplynoconceptionofthereekupthere。Ofcourse，frowzin’asyoudo，youwouldn’tnoticeit；but，afterthisnicewashandtheclean，freshair，evenyou’dbeupset。’MuchbettercampontheBurrows。We’llgetyousomestraw。Shallwe\"？\"Thehousehurriedintothetuneof\"JohnBrown’sbody，\"sungbylovingschoolmates，andbarricadedthemselvesintheirform—room。StraightwayStalkychalkedalargecross，with\"Lord，havemercyuponus，\"onthedoor，andleftKingtofindit。
Thewindshiftedthatnightandwaftedacarrion—reekintoMacrea’sdormitories；sothatboysinnightgownspoundedonthelockeddoorbetweenthehouses，entreatingKing’stowash。NumberFivestudywenttosecondlessonwithnotmorethanhalfapoundofcamphorapieceintheirclothing；andKing，toowarytoaskforexplanations，gibberedawhileandhurledthemforth。SoBeetlefinishedyetanotherpoematpeaceinthestudy。
\"They’reusin’carbolicnow。Malpastoldme，\"saidStalky。\"Kingthinksit’sthedrains。\"
\"She’llneedaloto’carbolic，\"saidMcTurk。\"Noharmtryin’，Isuppose。ItkeepsKingoutofmischief。\"
\"IswearIthoughthewasgoin’tokillmewhenIsniffedjustnow。Hedidn’tmindBurtonmajorsniffin’atmetheotherday，though。HeneverstoppedAlexanderhowlin’’Stinker！’intoourform—roombefore——beforewedoctored’em。Hejustgrinned，\"saidStalky。\"Whatwashefrothingoveryoufor，Beetle？\"
\"Aha！That，wasmysubtlejape。Ihadhimontoast。YouknowhealwaysjawsaboutthelearnedLipsius。\"
\"’Whoattheageoffour’——thatchap？\"saidMcTurk。
\"Yes。WheneverhehearsI’vewrittenapoem。Well，justasIwassittin’down，I
whispered，’HowisourlearnedLepsius？’toBurtonmajor。OldButtgrinnedlikeanowl。_He_didn’tknowwhatIwasdrivin’at；butKingjollywelldid。Thatwasreallywhyhehoveusout。Ain’tyougrateful？Nowshutup。I’mgoin’towritethe’BalladoftheLearnedLipsius。’\"
\"Keepclearofanythingcoarse，then，\"saidStalky。\"Ishouldn’tliketobecoarseonthishappyoccasion。\"
\"Notforwo—orlds。Whatrhymesto’stenches，’someone？\"
InCommon—roomatlunchKingdiscoursedacridlytoProutofboyswithprurientminds，whopervertedtheirfewandbalefultalentstosapdisciplineandcorrupttheirequals，todealinfoulimageryanddestroyreverence。
\"Butyoudidn’tseemtoconsiderthiswhenyourhousecalledus——ah——stinkers。Ifyouhadn’tassuredmethatyouneverinterferewithanotherman’shouse，Ishouldalmostbelievethatitwasafewcasualremarksofyoursthatstartedallthisnonsense。\"
Prouthadenduredmuch，forKingalwaystookhistempertomeals。
\"YouspoketoBeetleyourself，didn’tyou？Somethingaboutnotbathing，andbeingawater—funk？\"theschoolchaplainputin。\"Iwasscoringinthepavilionthatday。\"
\"Imayhave——jestingly。Ireallydon’tpretendtoremembereveryremarkIletfallamongsmallboys；andfullwellIknowtheBeetlehasnofeelingstobehurt。\"
\"Maybe；buthe，orthey——itcomestotosamething——havethefiend’sownknackofdiscoveringaman’sweakplace。IconfessIrathergooutofmywaytoconciliateNumberFivestudy。Itmaybesoft，butsofar，Ibelieve，Iamtheonlymanherewhomtheyhaven’tmaddenedbytheir——well——attentions。\"
\"Thatisallbesidethepoint。IflattermyselfIcandealwiththemaloneasoccasionarises。Butiftheyfeelthemselvesmorallysupportedbythosewhoshouldwieldanabsoluteandopen—handedjustice，thenIsaythatmylotisindeedahardone。OfallthingsIdetest，Iadmitthatanythingvergingondisloyaltyamongourselvesisthefirst。\"
TheCommon—roomlookedatoneanotheroutofthecornersoftheireyes，andProutblushed。
\"Idenyitabsolutely，\"hesaid。\"Er——infact，IownthatIpersonallyobjecttoallthreeofthem。Itisnotfair，therefore，to——\"
\"Howlongdoyouproposetoallowit？\"saidKing。
\"Butsurely，\"saidMacrea，desertinghisusualally，\"theblame，iftherebeany，restswithyou，King。Youcan’tholdthemresponsibleforthe——youpreferthegoodoldAnglo—Saxon，Ibelieve——stinkinyourhouse。Myboysarccomplainingofitnow。\"
\"Whatcanyouexpect？Youknowwhatboysare。Naturallytheytakeadvantageofwhattothemisaheaven—sentopportunity，\"saidlittleHartopp。\"What_is_thetroubleinyourdormitories，King？\"
Mr。Kingexplainedthatashehadmadeittheoneruleofhislifenevertointerferewithanotherman’shouse，soheexpectednottobetoopatentlyinterferedwith。Theymightbeinterestedtolearn——herethechaplainheavedawearysigh——thathehadtakenallstepsthat，inhispoorjudgment，wouldmeettheneedsofthecase。Nay，further，hehadhimselfexpended，withnothoughtofreimbursement，sums，theamountofwhichhewouldnotspecify，ondisinfectants。