第4章
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  Sheaddedthatanywishofhisofcoursewaslawtoher。

  Hewasayoungandinexperiencedhusband;itseemedtohimahopefulopening。Hespokeofquitealotofthings——thingsaboutwhichhefeltthathewasrightandshewaswrong。Shewentandfetchedaquireofpaper,andborrowedhispencilandwrotethemdown。

  Lateron,goingthroughhislettersinthestudy,hefoundanunexpectedcheque;andranupstairsandaskedherifshewouldnotliketocomeoutwithhimandgetherselfanewhat。

  \"Icouldhaveunderstoodit,\"hemoaned,\"ifshehaddroppedonmewhileIwas——well,Isuppose,youmightsaylecturingher。Shehadlistenedtoitlikealamb——hadn’topenedhermouthexcepttosay’yes,dear,’or’no,dear。’Then,whenIonlyaskedherifshe’dlikeanewhat,shegoessuddenlyravingmad。Ineversawawomangosomad。\"

  Idoubtiftherebeanythinginnaturequiteasunexpectedasawoman’stemper,unlessitbetumblingintoahole。ItoldallthistoDick。Ihavetoldithimbefore。Oneofthesedayshewillknowit。

  \"Youarerighttobeangrywithme,\"Robinarepliedmeekly;\"thereisnoexcuseforme。Thewholethingistheresultofmyownfolly。\"

  Herpathetichumilityshouldhaveappealedtohim。Hecanbesympathetic,whenheisn’thungry。Justthenhehappenedtobehungry。

  \"Ileftyoumakingapie,\"hesaid。\"Itlookedtomeafair—sizedpie。Therewasaduckonthetable,withacauliflowerandpotatoes;

  Veronicawasuptoherelbowsinpeas。Itmademehungrymerelypassingthroughthekitchen。Iwouldn’thaveanythingtoeatinthetownforfearofspoilingmyappetite。Whereisitall?Youdon’tmeantosaythatyouandVeronicahaveeatenthewholeblessedlot!\"

  Thereisonething——sheadmitsitherself——thatexhaustsVeronica’spatience:itisunjustsuspicion。

  \"DoIlookasifI’deatenanythingforhoursandhours?\"Veronicademanded。\"Youcanfeelmywaistbandifyoudon’tbelieveme。\"

  \"Yousaidjustnowyouhadhadyourlunch,\"Dickargued。

  \"IknowIdid,\"Veronicaadmitted。\"Oneminuteyouaretoldthatitiswickedtotelllies;thenext——\"

  \"Veronica!\"Robinainterruptedthreateningly。

  \"It’seasyforyou,\"retortedVeronica。\"Youarenotagrowingchild。Youdon’tfeelit。\"

  \"Theleastyoucando,\"saidRobina,\"istokeepsilence。\"

  \"What’sthegood,\"saidVeronica——notwithoutreason。\"You’lltellthemwhenI’vegonetobed,andcan’tputinawordformyself。

  Everythingisalwaysmyfault。IwishsometimesthatIwasdead。\"

  \"ThatIweredead,\"Icorrectedher。\"Theverb’towish,’implyinguncertainty,shouldalwaysbefollowedbytheconditionalmood。\"

  \"Youought,\"saidRobina,\"tobethankfultoProvidencethatyou’renotdead。\"

  \"Peoplearesorrywhenyou’redead,\"saidVeronica。

  \"Isupposethere’ssomebread—and—cheeseinthehouse,\"suggestedDick。

  \"Thebaker,forsomereasonoranother,hasnotcalledthismorning,\"

  Robinaansweredsweetly。\"Neitherunfortunatelyhasthegrocer。

  Everythingthereistoeatinthehouseyouseeuponthetable。\"

  \"Accidentswillhappen,\"Isaid。\"Thephilosopher——asourfriendSt。

  Leonardwouldtellus——onlysmiles。\"

  \"Icouldsmile,\"saidDick,\"ifitwerehislunch。\"

  \"Cultivate,\"Isaid,\"asenseofhumour。Fromahumorouspointofviewthislunchisrathergood。\"

  \"DidyouhaveanythingtoeatattheSt。Leonards’?\"heasked。

  \"Justaglassorsoofbeerandasandwichortwo,\"Iadmitted。

  \"Theybroughtitouttouswhileweweretalkingintheyard。Totellthetruth,Iwasfeelingratherpeckish。\"

  Dickmadenoanswer,butcontinuedtochewbacon—rind。NothingI

  couldsayseemedtocheerhim。IthoughtIwouldtryreligion。

  \"Adinnerofherbs——thesentimentappliesequallytolunch——andcontentmenttherewithisbetter,\"Isaid,\"thanastalledox。\"

  \"Don’ttalkaboutoxen,\"heinterruptedfretfully。\"IfeelIcouldjusteatone——aplumpone。\"

  ThereisamanIknow。Iconfessheirritatesme。Hisargumentisthatyoushouldalwaysrisefromamealfeelinghungry。AsIonceexplainedtohim,youcannotrisefromamealfeelinghungrywithoutsittingdowntoamealfeelinghungry;whichmeans,ofcourse,thatyouarealwayshungry。Heagreedwithme。Hesaidthatwastheidea——alwaysready。

  \"Mostpeople,\"hesaid,\"risefromamealfeelingnomoreinterestintheirfood。Thatwasamentalattitudeinjurioustodigestion。Keepitalwaysinterested;thatwastheproperwaytotreatit。\"

  \"By’it’youmean……?\"Isaid。

  \"Ofcourse,\"heanswered;\"I’mtalkingaboutit。\"

  \"NowImyself;\"heexplained——\"Irisefrombreakfastfeelingeagerformylunch。Igetupfrommylunchlookingforwardtomydinner。

  Igotobedjustreadyformybreakfast。\"

  Cheerfulexpectancy,hesaid,wasawonderfulaidtodigestion。\"I

  callmyself;\"hesaid,\"acheerfulfeeder。\"

  \"Youdon’tseemtome,\"Isaid,\"tobeanythingelse。Youtalklikeatadpole。Haven’tyouanyotherinterestinlife?Whatabouthome,andpatriotism,andShakespeare——allthosesortofthings?Whynotgiveitasquaremeal,andsilenceitforanhourortwo;leaveyourselffreetothinkofsomethingelse。\"

  \"Howcanyouthinkofanything,\"heargued,\"whenyourstomach’soutoforder?\"

  \"Howcanyouthinkofanything,\"Iargued,\"whenittakesyouallyourtimetokeepitinorder?Youarenotaman;youareanursetoyourownstomach。\"Weweregrowingexcited,bothofus,forgettingournaturalrefinement。\"Youdon’tgetevenyouroneafternoonaweek。Youarehealthyenough,Iadmitit。SoaretheconvictsatPortland。Theyneversufferfromindigestion。Iknewadoctoroncewhoprescribedforapatienttwoyears’penalservitudeastheonlythinglikelytodohimpermanentgood。Yourstomachwon’tletyousmoke。Itwon’tletyoudrink——notwhenyouarethirsty。ItallowsyouaglassofApentawaterattimeswhenyoudon’twantit,assumingtherecouldeverbeatimewhenyoudidwantit。Youaredeprivedofyournaturalvictuals,andmadetoliveuponpreparedfood,asthoughyouweresomesortofaprizechicken。Youaresenttobedateleven,anddressedinhygienicclothingthatmakesnopretencetofityou。Talkofbeinghen—pecked!Why,themildesthusbandlivingwouldrunawayordrownhimself,ratherthanremaintiedfortherestofhisexistencetoyourstomach。\"

  \"Itiseasytosneer,\"hesaid。

  \"Iamnotsneering,\"Isaid;\"Iamsympathisingwithyou。\"

  Hesaidhedidnotwantanysympathy。HesaidifonlyIwouldgiveupover—eatinganddrinkingmyself,itwouldsurprisemehowbrightandintelligentIshouldbecome。

  Ithoughtthismanmightbeofusetousonthepresentoccasion。

  AccordinglyIspokeofhimandofhistheory。Dickseemedimpressed。

  \"Nicesortofman?\"heasked。

  \"Anearnestman,\"Ireplied。\"Hepractiseswhathepreaches,andwhetherbecause,orinspiteofit,thefactremainsthatachirpiersoulIamsuredoesnotexist。\"

  \"Married?\"demandedDick。

  \"Asingleman,\"Ianswered。\"Inallthingsanidealist。Hehastoldmehewillnevermarryuntilhecanfindhisidealwoman。\"

  \"WhataboutRobinahere!\"suggestedDick。\"Seemtohavebeenmadeforoneanother。\"

  Robinasmiled。Itwasawan,patheticsmile。

  \"Evenhe,\"thoughtRobina,\"wouldwanthisbeanscookedtotime,andtofeelthatareasonablesupplyofnutswasalwaysinthehouse。Weincompetentwomenneveroughttomarry。\"

  Wehadfinishedthebacon。Dicksaidhewouldtakeastrollintothetown。RobinasuggestedhemighttakeVeronicawithhim,thatperhapsabunandaglassofmilkwoulddothechildnoharm。

  Veronicaforawonderseemedtoknowwhereallherthingswere。

  BeforeDickhadfilledhispipeshewasreadydressedandwaitingforhim。Robinasaidshewouldgivethemalistofthingstheymightbringbackwiththem。ShealsoaskedDicktogettogetheraplumber,acarpenter,abricklayer,aglazier,andacivilengineer,andtoseetoitthattheystartedoffatonce。Shethoughtthatamongthemtheymightbeabletodoallthatwastemporarilynecessary,butthegreatthingwasthattheworkshouldbecommencedwithoutdelay。

  \"Why,whatonearth’sthematter,oldgirl?\"askedDick。\"Haveyouhadanaccident?\"

  ThenitwasthatRobinaexploded。Ihadbeenwonderingwhenitwouldhappen。ToDick’sastonishmentithappenedthen。

  Yes,sheanswered,therehadbeenanaccident。Didhesupposethatsevenscrimpyscrapsofbaconwashernotionofalunchbetweenfourhungrypersons?Didhe,judgingfromhimself,imaginethatourfamilyyieldedonlylunatics?Wasitkind——wasitcourteoustohisparents,tothemotherhepretendedtolove,tothefatherwhosegreyhairshewasbyhisgeneralbehaviourbringingdowninsorrowtothegrave——toassumewithoutfurtherenquirythattheireldestdaughterwasanimbecile?(Myhair,by—the—bye,isnotgrey。Theremaybeasuggestionofgreynesshereandthere,thenaturalresultofdeepthinking。Todescribeitinthelumpasgreyistoshowlackofobservation。Andatforty—eight——oratrifleover——oneisnotgoingdownintothegrave,notstraightdown。Robinawhenexcitedusesexaggeratedlanguage。Ididnot,however,interrupther;shemeantwell。Addedtowhich,interruptingRobina,when——touseherownexpression——sheistiredofbeingaworm,isliketryingtostopacyclonewithanumbrella。)Hadhisattentionbeenlessconcentratedontheguzzlingofcoldbacon(hehadonlyhadfourmouthfuls,poorfellow)——hadhenoticedthesweetpatientchildstarvingbeforehisveryeyes(thisreferredtoVeronica)——hispooreldersister,wornoutwithworkandworry,piningfornourishmentherself,itmighthaveoccurredtoevenhisintelligencethattherehadbeenanaccident。Theselfishness,theegotismofmenitwasthatstaggered,overwhelmedRobina,whenshecametothinkofit。

  Robinapaused。Notforwantofmaterial,Ijudged,somuchaswantofbreath。Veronicaperformedausefulservicebyseizingthemomenttoexpressahopethatitwasnotearly—closingday。Robinafeltaconvictionthatitwas:itwouldbejustlikeDicktostandtheredawdlinginacornertillitwastoolatetodoanything。

  \"Ihavebeentryingtogetoutofthiscornerforthelastfiveminutes,\"explainedDick,withthatangelicsmileofhisthatI

  confessisirritating。\"Ifyouhavedonetalking,andwillgivemeanopening,Iwillgo。\"

  Robinatoldhimthatshehaddonetalking。Shegavehimherreasonsforhavingdonetalking。Iftalkingtohimwouldbeofanyuseshewouldoftenhavefeltitherdutytotalktohim,notonlywithregardtohisstupidityandselfishnessandgeneralaggravatingness,butwithreferencetohischaracterasawhole。Herexcusefornottalkingtohimwasthecrushingconvictionofthehopelessnessofevereffectinganyimprovementinhim。Wereitotherwise—

  \"Seriouslyspeaking,\"saidDick,nowescapedfromhiscorner,\"something,Itakeit,hasgonewrongwiththestove,andyouwantasortofgeneralsmith。\"

  Heopenedthekitchendoorandlookedin。

  \"GreatScott!\"hesaid。\"Whatwasit——anearthquake?\"

  Ilookedinoverhisshoulder。

  \"Butitcouldnothavebeenanearthquake,\"Isaid。\"Weshouldhavefeltit。\"

  \"Itisnotanearthquake,\"explainedRobina。\"Itisyouryoungestdaughter’snotionofmakingherselfuseful。\"

  Robinaspokeseverely。IfeltforthemomentasifIhaddoneitallmyself。Ihadanunclewhousedtotalklikethat。\"Youraunt,\"hewouldsay,regardingmewithareproachfuleye,\"yourauntcanbe,whenshelikes,themosttryingwomantolivewithIhaveeverknown。\"Itwoulddepressmefordays。IwouldwonderwhetherI

  oughttospeaktoheraboutit,orwhetherIshouldbedoingonlyharm。

  \"Buthowdidshedoit?\"Idemanded。\"Itisimpossiblethatamerechild——whereisthechild?\"

  TheparlourcontainedbutRobina。Ihurriedtothedoor;Dickwasalreadyhalfacrossthefield。VeronicaIcouldnotsee。

  \"Wearemakinghaste,\"Dickshoutedback,\"incaseitisearly—

  closingday。\"

  \"IwantVeronica!\"Ishouted。

  \"What?\"shoutedDick。

  \"Veronica!\"Ishoutedwithmyhandstomymouth。

  \"Yes!\"shoutedDick。\"She’sonahead。\"

  Itwasuselessscreaminganymore。Hewasnowclimbingthestile。

  \"Theyalwaystakeeachother’spart,thosetwo,\"sighedRobina。

  \"Yes,andyouarejustasbad,\"Itoldher;\"ifhedoesn’t,youdo。

  Andthenifit’syoutheytakeyourpart。Andyoutakehispart。

  Andhetakesbothyourparts。AndbetweenyouallIamjustgettingtiredofbringinganyofyouup。\"(Whichisthetruth。)\"Howdidthisthinghappen?\"

  \"Ihadgoteverythingfinished,\"answeredRobina。\"Theduckwasintheovenwiththepie;thepeasandpotatoeswereboilingnicely。I

  wasfeelinghot,andIthoughtIcouldtrustVeronicatowatchthethingsforawhile。ShepromisednottoplayKingAlfred。\"

  \"What’sthat?\"Iasked。

  \"Youknow,\"saidRobina——\"KingAlfredandthecakes。Ileftheroneafternoonlastyearwhenwewereonthehouseboattowatchsomebuns。

  WhenIcamebackshewassittinginfrontofthefire,wrappedupinthetable—cloth,withDick’sbanjoonherkneesandacardboardcrownuponherhead。Thebunswereallburnttoacinder。AsItoldher,ifIhadknownwhatshewantedtobeuptoIcouldhavegivenhersomeextrabitsofdoughtomakebelievewith。Butoh,no!ifyouplease,thatwouldnothavesuitedheratall。Itwastheirbeingrealbuns,andmybeingrealmad,thatwasthebestpartofthegame。

  Sheisanuncannychild。\"

  \"Whatwasthegamethistime?\"Iasked。

  \"Idon’tthinkitwasintendedforagame——notatfirst,\"answeredRobina。\"Iwentintothewoodtopicksomeflowersforthetable。I

  wasonmywayback,stillatsomedistancefromthehouse,whenI

  heardquitealoudreport。Itookitforagun,andwonderedwhatanyonewouldbeshootinginJuly。Itmustberabbits,Ithought。

  Rabbitsneverseemtohaveanytimeatalltothemselves,poorthings。AndinconsequenceIdidnothurrymyself。ItmusthavebeenabouttwentyminuteslaterwhenIcameinsightofthehouse。

  Veronicawasinthegardendeepinconfabulationwithanawful—

  lookingboy,dressedinnothingbutrags。Hisfaceandhandswerealmostblack。Youneversawsuchanobject。Theybothseemedveryexcited。Veronicacametomeetme;andwithafaceasseriousasmineisnow,stoodthereandtoldmethemostbarefacedpackofliesyoueverheard。ShesaidthatafewminutesafterIhadgone,robbershadcomeoutofthewood——shetalkedaboutthemasthoughtherehadbeenhundreds——andhadwiththemostawfulthreatsdemandedtobeadmittedintothehouse。Whytheyhadnotliftedthelatchandwalkedin,shedidnotexplain。Itappearedthiscottagewastheirsecretrendezvous,wherealltheirtreasurelieshidden。Veronicawouldnotletthemin,butshoutedforhelp:andimmediatelythisawful—lookingboy,towhomsheintroducedmeas’SirRobert’

  somethingoranother,hadappeareduponthescene;andthentherehadfollowed——well,Ihavenotthepatiencetotellyouthewholeoftherigmaroletheyhadconcocted。Theupshotofitwasthattherobbers,defeatedintheirattempttogetintothehouse,hadfiredasecretmine,whichhadexplodedinthekitchen。IfIdidnotbelievethemI

  couldgointothekitchenandseeformyself。SaywhatIwould,thatisthestorytheybothstuckto。ItwasnottillIhadtalkedtoVeronicaforaquarterofanhour,andhadtoldherthatyouwouldmostcertainlycommunicatewiththepolice,andthatshewouldhavetoconvinceajudgeandjuryofthetruthofherstory,thatIgotanysenseatalloutofher。\"

  \"Whatwasthesenseyoudidgetoutofher?\"Iasked。

  \"Well,Iamnotsureevennowthatitisthetruth,\"saidRobina——

  \"thechilddoesnotseemtopossessaproperconscience。Whatshewillgrowuplike,ifsomethingdoesnothappentochangeher,itisawfultothink。\"

  \"Idon’twanttoappearahustler,\"Isaid,\"andmaybeIammistakenintheactualtime,butitfeelstomelikehourssinceIaskedyouhowthecatastrophereallyoccurred。\"

  \"Iamtellingyou,\"explainedRobina,hurt。\"ShewasinthekitchenyesterdaywhenImentionedtoHarry’smother,whohadlookedintohelpmewashup,thatthekitchenchimneysmoked:andthenshesaid—

  —\"

  \"Whosaid?\"Iasked。

  \"Why,shedid,\"answeredRobina,\"Harry’smother。Shesaidthatveryoftenapennyworthofgunpowder——\"

  \"Nowatlastwehavebegun,\"Isaid。\"FromthispointImaybeabletohelpyou,andwewillgeton。Attheword’gunpowder’Veronicaprickedupherears。ThethingbyitsverynaturewouldappealtoVeronica’ssympathies。Shewenttobeddreamingofgunpowder。Leftinsolitudebeforethekitchenfire,othermaidensmighthaveseenpicturedintheglowingcoals,princes,carriages,andballs。

  Veronicasawvisionsofgunpowder。Whoknows?——perhapsevensheonedaywillhavegunpowderofherown!Shelooksupfromherreverie:

  afairygodmammainthedisguiseofasmallboy——itwasasmallboy,wasitnot?\"

  \"Ratheranicelittleboy,hegavemetheideaofhavingbeen,originally,\"answeredRobina;\"thechild,Ishouldsay,ofwell—to—doparents。HewasdressedinalittleLordFauntleroysuit——orrather,hehadbeen。\"

  \"DidVeronicaknowhowhewas——anythingabouthim?\"Iasked。

  \"NothingthatIcouldgetoutofher,\"repliedRobina;\"youknowherway——howshechumsonwithanybodyandeverybody。AsItoldher,ifshehadbeenattendingtoherdutiesinsteadofstaringoutofthewindow,shewouldnothaveseenhim。Hehappenedtobecrossingthefieldjustatthetime。\"

  \"Aboyborntoill—luck,evidently,\"Iobserved。\"ToVeronicaofcourseheseemedliketheanswertoaprayer。Aboywouldsurelyknowwheregunpowdercouldbeculled。\"

  \"Theymusthavegotapoundofitfromsomewhere,\"saidRobina,\"judgingfromtheresult。\"

  \"Anynotionwheretheygotitfrom?\"Iasked。

  \"No,\"explainedRobina。\"AllVeronicacansayisthathetoldherheknewwherehecouldgetsome,andwasgoneabouttenminutes。Ofcoursetheymusthavestolenit——eventhatdidnotseemtotroubleher。\"

  \"Itcametoherasagiftfromthegods,Robina,\"Iexplained。\"I

  rememberhowImyselfusedtofeelaboutthesethings,atten。Tohaveenquiredfurtherwouldhaveseemedtoherimpious。Howwasittheywerenotbothkilled?\"

  \"Providence,\"wasRobina’ssuggestion:itseemedtobetheonlyonepossible。\"Theyliftedoffoneofthesaucepansandjustdroppedthethingin——fortunatelywrappedupinabrownpaperparcel,whichgavethembothtimetogetoutofthehouse。AtleastVeronicagotclearoff。Forachangeitwasnotshewhofelloverthemat,itwastheboy。\"

  Ilookedagainintothekitchen;thenIreturnedandputmyhandsonRobina’sshoulders。\"Itisamostamusingincident——asithasturnedout,\"Isaid。

  \"Itmighthaveturnedoutratherseriously,\"thoughtRobina。

  \"Itmight,\"Iagreed:\"shemightbelyingupstairs。\"

  \"Sheisawicked,heartlesschild,\"saidRobina;\"sheoughttobepunished。\"

  IlentRobinamyhandkerchief;sheneverhasoneofherown。

  \"Sheisgoingtobepunished,\"Isaid;\"Iwillthinkofsomething。\"

  \"AndsooughtI,\"saidRobina;\"itwasmyfault,leavingher,knowingwhatshe’slike。Imighthavemurderedher。Shedoesn’tcare。

  She’sstuffingherselfwithcakesatthisverymoment。\"

  \"Theywillprobablygiveherindigestion,\"Isaid。\"Ihopetheydo。\"

  \"Whydidn’tyouhavebetterchildren?\"sobbedRobina;\"wearenoneofusanygoodtoyou。\"

  \"YouarenotthechildrenIwanted,Iconfess,\"Ianswered。

  \"That’sanicekindthingtosay!\"retortedRobinaindignantly。

  \"Iwantedsuchcharmingchildren,\"Iexplained——\"myideaofcharmingchildren:thechildrenIhadimaginedformyself。Evenasbabiesyoudisappointedme。\"

  Robinalookedastonished。

  \"You,Robina,werethemostdisappointing,\"Icomplained。\"Dickwasaboy。Onedoesnotcalculateuponboyangels;andbythetimeVeronicaarrivedIhadgotmoreusedtothings。ButIwassoexcitedwhenyoucame。TheLittleMotherandIwouldstealatnightintothenursery。’Isn’titwonderful,’theLittleMotherwouldwhisper,’tothinkitalllieshiddenthere:thelittletiresomechild,thesweethearttheywillonedaytakeawayfromus,thewife,themother?’’Iamgladitisagirl,’Iwouldwhisper;’Ishallbeabletowatchhergrowintowomanhood。Mostofthegirlsonecomesacrossinbooksstrikeoneasnotperhapsquitetruetolife。Itwillgivemesuchanadvantagehavingagirlofmyown。Ishallkeepanote—

  book,withalockandkey,devotedtoher。’\"

  \"Didyou?\"askedRobina。

  \"Iputitaway,\"Ianswered;\"therewerebutafewpageswrittenon。

  Itcametomequiteearlyinyourlifethatyouwerenotgoingtobethemodelheroine。Iwaslookingforthepicturebaby,theclean,thoughtfulbaby,withitsmagical,mysticalsmile。Iwrotepoetryaboutyou,Robina,butyouwouldslobberandhowl。Yourlittlenosewasalwayshavingtobewiped,andsomehowthepoetrydidnotseemtofityou。Youwereatyourbestwhenyouwereasleep,butyouwouldnotevensleepwhenitwasexpectedofyou。Ithink,Robina,thatthefellowswhodrawthepicturesforthecomicjournalsofthemaninhisnight—shirtwiththesquallingbabyinhisarmsmustallbesinglemen。Themarriedmanseesonlysadnessinthedesign。Itisnotthemerediscomfort。Ifthelittlecreaturewereillorinpainweshouldnotthinkofthat。Itisthereflectionthatwe,whomeantsowell,havebroughtintotheworldjustanordinaryfretfulhumancreaturewithanastytemperofitsown:thatisthetragedy,Robina。Andthenyougrewintoalittlegirl。Iwantedthesoulfullittlegirlwiththefathomlesseyes,whowouldstealtomeattwilightandquestionmeconcerninglife’sconundrums。

  \"ButIusedtoaskyouquestions,\"grumbledRobina,\"andyouwouldtellmenottobesilly。\"

  \"Don’tyouunderstand,Robina?\"Ianswered。\"Iamnotblamingyou,I

  amblamingmyself。Wearelikechildrenwhoplantseedsinagarden,andthenareangrywiththeflowersbecausetheyarenotwhatweexpected。Youwereadearlittlegirl;Iseethatnow,lookingback。

  ButnotthelittlegirlIhadinmymind。SoImissedyou,thinkingofthelittlegirlyouwerenot。Wedothatallourlives,Robina。

  Wearealwayslookingfortheflowersthatdonotgrow,passingby,tramplingunderfoot,theblossomsroundaboutus。ItwasthesamewithDick。Iwantedanaughtyboy。Well,Dickwasnaughty,noonecansaythathewasnot。Butitwasnotmynaughtiness。Iwaspreparedforhisrobbingorchards。Iratherhopedhewouldroborchards。Allthehigh—spiritedboysinbooksroborchards,andbecomegreatmen。Buttherewerenotanyorchardshandy。WehappenedtobelivinginChelseaatthetimeheoughttohavebeenrobbingorchards:that,ofcourse,wasmyfault。Ididnotthinkofthat。Hestoleabicyclethataladyhadleftoutsidethetea—roominBatterseaPark,heandanotherboy,thesonofacommonbarber,whoshavedpeopleforthree—halfpence。IamaRepublicanintheory,butitgrievedmethatasonofminecouldbedrawntosuchcompanionship。Theycontrivedtokeepitforaweek——tillthepolicefounditonenight,artfullyhiddenbehindbushes。Logically,Idonotseewhystealingapplesshouldbenobleandstealingbicyclesshouldbemean,butitstruckmethatwayatthetime。ItwasnottheparticularstealIhadbeenhopingfor。

  \"Iwantedhimwild;theheroofthebookwaseverinhiscollegedaysawildyoungman。Well,hewaswild。ItcostmethreehundredpoundstokeepthatbreachofpromisecaseoutofCourt;Ihadneverimaginedabreachofpromisecase。Thenhegotdrunk,andbonnetedabishopinmistakefora’bull—dog。’Ididn’tmindthebishop。Thatbyitselfwouldhavebeenwholesomefun。Buttothinkthatasonofmineshouldhavebeendrunk!\"

  \"Hehasneverbeendrunksince,\"pleadedRobina。\"Hehadonlythreeglassesofchampagneandaliqueur:itwastheliqueur——hewasnotusedtoit。Hegotintothewrongset。Youcannotincollegebelongtothewildsetwithoutgettingdrunkoccasionally。\"

  \"Perhapsnot,\"Iadmitted。\"Inthebookthewildyoungmandrinkswithoutevergettingdrunk。Maybethereisadifferencebetweenlifeandthebook。Inthebookyouenjoyyourfun,butcontrivesomehowtoescapethelicking:inlifethelickingistheonlythingsure。

  ItwasthewildyoungmanoffictionIwaslookingfor,who,afortnightbeforetheexam。,tiesawettowelroundhishead,drinksstrongtea,andpasseseasilywithhonours。Hetriedthewettowel,hetellsme。Itneverwouldkeepinitsplace。Addedtowhichitgavehimneuralgia;whilethestrongteagavehimindigestion。I

  usedtopicturemyselftheproud,indulgentfatherlecturinghimforhiswildness——turningawayatsomepointinthemiddleofmytiradetohideasmile。Therewasneveranysmiletohide。Ifeelthathehasbehaveddisgracefully,wastinghistimeandmymoney。\"

  \"Heisgoingtoturnoveranewleaf;\"saidRobina:\"Iamsurehewillmakeanexcellentfarmer。\"

  \"Ididnotwantafarmer,\"Iexplained;\"IwantedaPrimeMinister。

  Children,Robina,areverydisappointing。Veronicaisallwrong。I

  likeamischievouschild。Ilikereadingstoriesofmischievouschildren:theyamuseme。Butnotthechildwhoputsapoundofgunpowderintoared—hotfire,andescapeswithherlifebyamiracle。\"

  \"Andyet,Idaresay,\"suggestedRobina,\"thatifoneputitintoabook——Imeanthatifyouputitintoabook,itwouldreadamusingly。\"

  \"Likelyenough,\"Iagreed。\"Otherpeople’stroublescanalwaysbeamusing。Asitis,Ishallbeinastateofanxietyforthenextsixmonths,wondering,everymomentthatsheisoutofmysight,whatnewdevilmentsheisupto。TheLittleMotherwillbeworriedoutofherlife,unlesswecankeepitfromher。\"

  \"Childrenwillbechildren,\"murmuredRobina,meaningtobecomforting。

  \"ThatiswhatIamcomplainingof,Robina。Wearealwayshopingthatourswon’tbe。Sheisfulloffaults,Veronica,andtheyarenotalwaysnicefaults。Sheislazy——lazyisnotthewordforit。\"

  \"Sheislazy,\"Robinawascompelledtoadmit。

  \"Thereareotherfaultsshemighthavehadandwelcome,\"Ipointedout;\"faultsIcouldhavetakenaninterestinandlikedherallthebetterfor。Youchildrenaresoobstinate。Youwillchooseyourownfaults。Veronicaisnottruthfulalways。IwantedafamilyoflittleGeorgeWashingtons,whocouldnottellalie。Veronicacan。

  Togetherselfoutoftrouble——andprovidedthereisanyhopeofanybodybelievingher——shedoes。\"

  \"Weallofususedtowhenwewereyoung,\"Robinamaintained;\"Dickusedto,Iusedto。Itisacommonfaultwithchildren。\"

  \"Iknowitis,\"Ianswered。\"Ididnotwantachildwithcommonfaults。Iwantedsomethingallmyown。Iwantedyou,Robina,tobemyidealdaughter。IhadagirlinmymindthatIamsurewouldhavebeencharming。Youarenotabitlikeher。Idon’tsayshewasperfect,shehadherfailings,buttheyweresuchdelightfulfailings——muchbetterthanyours,Robina。Shehadatemper——awomanwithoutatemperisinsipid;butitwasthatkindoftemperthatmadeyouloveherallthemore。Yoursdoesn’t,Robina。Iwishyouhadnotbeeninsuchahurry,andhadleftmetoarrangeyourtemperforyou。Weshouldallofushavepreferredmine。Ithadalltheattractionsoftemperwithoutthedrawbacksoftheordinarytemper。\"

  \"Couldn’tuseitup,Isuppose,foryourself,Pa?\"suggestedRobina。

  \"Itwasalady’stemper,\"Iexplained。\"Besides,\"asIaskedher,\"whatiswrongwiththeoneIhave?\"

  \"Nothing,\"answeredRobina。Yethertoneconveyeddoubt。\"Itseemstomesometimesthatanoldertemperwouldsuityoubetter,thatwasall。\"

  \"Youhavehintedasmuchbefore,Robina,\"Iremarked,\"notonlywithreferencetomytemper,butwithreferencetothingsgenerally。OnewouldthinkthatyouweredissatisfiedwithmebecauseIamtooyoung。\"

  \"Notinyearsperhaps,\"repliedRobina,\"but——well,youknowwhatI

  mean。Onewantsone’sfathertobealwaysgreatanddignified。\"

  \"Wecannotchangeourego,\"Iexplainedtoher。\"Somedaughterswouldappreciateafatheryouthfulenoughintemperamenttosympathisewithandtoindulgethem。Thesolemnoldfogeyyouhaveinyourmindwouldhavebroughtyouupverydifferently。Letmetellyouthat,mygirl。Youwouldnothavelikedhim,ifyouhadhadhim。\"

  \"Perhapsnot,\"Robinaagreed。\"Youareawfullygoodinsomeways。\"

  \"Whatwehavegottodointhisworld,Robina,\"Isaid,\"istotakepeopleastheyare,andmakethebestofthem。Wecannotexpecteverybodytobejustaswewouldhavethem,andmaybeweshouldnotlikethemanybetteriftheywere。Don’tbotheryourselfabouthowmuchnicertheymightbe;thinkhownicetheyare。\"

  Robinasaidshewouldtry。IhavehopesofmakingRobinaasensiblewoman。

  CHAPTERVII

  DickandVeronicareturnedladenwithparcels。Theyexplainedthat\"DaddySlee,\"asitappearedhewasgenerallycalled,alocalbuilderofrenown,wasfollowinginhispony—cart,andwaskindlybringingthebulkierthingswithhim。

  \"Itriedtohustlehim,\"saidDick,\"butcomingupafterhehadwashedhimselfandhadhisteaseemedtobehisideaofhustling。HehasgotthereputationofbeinganhonestoldJohnny,slowbutsure;

  theothers,theytellme,areslower。Ithoughtyoumightcare,lateron,totalktohimaboutthehouse。\"

  Veronicatookoffherthingsandputthemaway,eachoneinitsproperplace。Shesaid,ifnoonewantedher,shewouldreadachapterof\"TheVicarofWakefield,\"andretiredupstairs。RobinaandIhadaneggwithourtea;Mr。Sleearrivedaswehadfinished,andItookhimstraightintothekitchen。Hewasalargeman,withadreamyexpressionandahabitofsighing。Hesighedwhenhesawourkitchen。

  \"There’sfourdays’workforthreemenhere,\"hesaid,\"andyou’llwantanewstove。Lord!whattroublechildrencanbe!\"

  Robinaagreedwithhim。

  \"Meanwhile,\"shedemanded,\"howamItocook?\"

  \"Myself,missie,\"sighedMr。Slee,\"Idon’tseehowyouaregoingtocook。\"

  \"We’llallhavetotramphomeagain,\"thoughtDick。

  \"AndtellLittleMotherthereason,andfrightenheroutofherlife!\"retortedRobinaindignantly。

  Robinahadotherideas。Mr。Sleedeparted,promisingthatworkshouldbecommencedatseveno’clockonMondaymorning。Robina,thedoorclosed,begantotalk。

  \"LetPahaveasandwich,\"saidRobina,\"andcatchthesix—fifteen。\"

  \"Wemightallhaveasandwich,\"suggestedDick;\"Icoulddowithonemyself。\"

  \"Pacanexplain,\"saidRobina,\"thathehasbeencalledbacktotownonbusiness。Thatwillaccountforeverything,andLittleMotherwillnotbealarmed。\"

  \"Shewon’tbelievethatbusinesshasbroughthimbackatnineo’clockonaSaturdaynight,\"arguedDick;\"youthinkthatLittleMotherhasn’tanysense。She’llseethere’ssomethingup,andaskahundredquestions。Youknowwhatsheis。\"

  \"Pa,\"saidRobina,\"willhavetimewhileinthetraintothinkoutsomethingplausible;that’swherePaisclever。WithPaoffmyhandsIsha’n’tmind。Wethreecanliveoncoldhamandthingslikethat。

  ByThursdaywewillbeallright,andthenhecancomedownagain。\"

  IpointedouttoRobina,kindlybutfirmly,theutterabsurdityofheridea。HowcouldIleavethem,threehelplesschildren,withnoonetolookafterthem?WhatwouldtheLittleMothersay?WhatmightnotVeronicabeuptoinmyabsence?Therewereotherthingstobeconsidered。Thedonkeymightarriveatanymoment——noresponsiblepersontheretoreceivehim——toseetoitthathissimplewantswouldbeprovidedfor。IshouldhavetointerviewMr。St。

  LeonardagaintofixupfinaldetailsasregardedDick。Whowasgoingtolookafterthecow,abouttobeseparatedfromus?YoungButewouldbedownagainwithplans。Whowasgoingtotakehimoverthehouse,explainthingstohimintelligibly?Thenewboymightturnup——thissimplesonofthesoilMissJaniehadpromisedtodigoutandsendalong。HewouldtalkBerkshire。Whowouldtherebetounderstandhim——toreplytohimindialect?Whatwastheuseofherbeingimpetuousandtalkingnonsense?

  Shewentoncuttingsandwiches。Shesaidtheywerenothelplesschildren。ShesaidifsheandDickatforty—twohadn’tgritenoughtorunasix—roomedcottageitwastimetheylearned。

  \"Who’sforty—two?\"Idemanded。

  \"Weare,\"explainedRobina,\"DickandI——betweenus。Weshallbeforty—twonextbirthday。Nearlyyourownage。\"

  \"Veronica,\"shecontinued,\"forthenextfewdayswon’tbeachildatall。Sheknowsnothingofthehappymedium。Sheiseitherherselforshegoestotheoppositeextreme,andtriestobeanangel。Tillabouttheendoftheweekitwillbelikelivingwithavision。Asforthedonkey,we’lltryandmakehimfeelasmuchathomeasifyouwerehere。\"

  \"Idon’tmeantoberude,Pa,\"Robinaexplained,\"butfromthewayyouputityouevidentlyregardyourselfastheonlyoneamonguscapableofinterestinghim。Itakeithewon’tmindforanightortwosharingtheshedwiththecow。Ifhelooksshockedatthesuggestion,Dickcanknockupapartition。I’dratherforthepresent,tillyoucomedownagain,thecowstoppedwhereshewas。

  Shehelpstowakemeinthemorning。YoumayreckonyouhavesettledeverythingasfarasDickisconcerned。IfyoutalktoSt。LeonardagainforanhouritwillbeaboutthefutureoftheYellowRacesorthepossibilityoflifeinJupiter。Ifyoumentiontermshewillbeinsulted,andifhewon’tletyouthenyouwillbeinsulted,andthewholethingwillbeoff。LetmetalktoJanie。We’vebothofusgotsense。AsforMr。Bute,Iknowallyourideasaboutthehouse,andI

  sha’n’tlistentoanyofhissillyarguments。Whatthatyoungmanwantsissomeonetotellhimwhathe’sgottodo,andthenlettherebeanendofit。Andthesoonerthathandyboyturnsupthebetter。

  Idon’tmindwhathetalks。AllIwanthimtodoistocleanknivesandfetchwaterandchopwood。AttheworstI’llgetthathometohimbypantomime。Forconversationhecanwaittillyoucomedown。\"

  Thatisthegistofwhatshesaid。Itdidn’trunexactlyasIhaveputitdown。TherewerepointsatwhichIinterrupted,butRobinaneverlistens;shejusttalkson,andattheendsheassumesthat,asamatterofcourse,youhavecomeroundtoherpointofview,andpersuadingherthatyouhaven’tmeansbeginningthewholethingoveragain。

  ShesaidIhadn’ttimetotalk,andthatshewouldwriteandtellmeeverything。Dickalsosaidhewouldwriteandtellmeeverything;

  andthatifIfeltmovedtosendthemdownahamper——thesortofthingthat,lefttothemselves,Fortnum&Masonwouldputtogetherforagood—classpicnic,say,forsixpersons——Imightrelyuponitthatnothingwouldbewasted。

  Veronica,bymydesire,walkedwithmetotheendofthelane。I

  talkedtoherveryseriously。Herdifficultywasthatshehadnotbeenblownup。Hadshebeenblownup,thenshewouldhaveknownherselfshehaddonewrong。Inthebookitisthedisobedientchildthatistossedbythebull。Thechildthathasbeensentwiththelittlebaskettovisitthesickauntmayberightinthebull’sway。

  Thatisabitofbadluckforthebull。Thepoorbulliscompelledtowastevaluabletimeworkingroundcarefully,soasnottoupsetthebasket。Ifthewickedchildhadsense(whichinthebookdoesnothappen),itwould,whilethebullwasdodgingtogetpastthegoodchild,seizetheopportunitytomoveitselfquickly。Thewickedchildneverlooksround,butpegsalongsteadily;andwhenthebullarrivesitissuretobeinthemostconvenientpositionforreceivingmorallessons。Thegoodchild,whateveritsweight,crossestheiceinsafety。Thebadchildmayturnthescaleattwostonelighter;theicewillhavenoneofhim。\"Don’tyoutalktomeaboutrelativepressuretothesquareinch,\"saystheindignantice。

  \"Youwereunkindtoyourlittlebabybrothertheweekbeforelast:

  inyougo。\"Veronica’sargument,temperatelyandcourteouslyexpressed,Iadmit,camepracticallytothis:

  \"Imayhaveactedwithoutsufficientknowledgetoguideme。Myeducationhasnot,perhaps,onthewhole,beenorderedwisely。

  SubjectsthatIfeelwillneverbeoftheslightestinterestorconsequencetomehavebeeninsisteduponwithalmosttiresomereiteration。Mattersthatshouldbeusefulandhelpfultome——

  gunpowder,totakebutoneexample——Ihavebeenleftinignoranceconcerning。AboutallthatIsaynothing;peoplehavedonetheirbestaccordingtotheirlights,nodoubt。When,however,wecometopurityofmotives,singlenessofintention,then,Imaintain,Iamabovereproach。TheproofofthisisthatProvidencehasbestoweduponmethesealofitsapproval:Iwasnotblownup。Hadmyconductbeenopentocensure——asincertainquartershasbeensuggested——shouldIbewalkingbesidesyounow,undamaged——notahairturned,asthesayingis?No。DiscriminatingFate——thatis,ifanyrelianceatallistobeplacedonliteraturefortheyoung——wouldhavemadeitherbusinessthatatleastIwasincludedinthedebris。

  Instead,whatdowenotice!——ashatteredchimney,aruinedstove,brokenwindows,awreckageofhouseholdutensils;I,aloneofallthings,miraculouslypreserved。Idonotwishtopressthepointoffensively,butreallyitwouldalmostseemthatitmustbeyouthree——you,mydearparent,uponwhomwillfallthebillforrepairs;

  Dick,apttoattachtoomuchimportance,maybe,tohisvictuals,andwhoforthenextfewdayswillbecompelledtoexistchieflyupontinnedgoods;Robina,bynatureofaworryingdisposition,certaintillthingsgetstraightagaintobenextdoortooffherhead——whomust,byreasonofconductintowhichIdonotenquire,havemeritedchastisementatthehandsofProvidence。Themorallessonwouldcertainlyappeartobebetweenyouthree。I——itgrowscleartome——

  havebeenthroughoutbuttheinnocentinstrument。\"

  Admitthepremisethattobevirtuousistoescapewhipping,theargumentislogical。Ifeltthatleftuncombateditmightleadusintoyetfurthertrouble。

  \"Veronica,\"Isaid,\"thetimehascometorevealtoyouasecret:

  literatureisnotalwaysasafeguidetolife。\"

  \"Youmean——\"saidVeronica。

  \"Imean,\"Isaid,\"thatthewriterofbooksis,generallyspeaking,anexceptionallymoralman。Thatiswhatleadshimastray:heistoogood。Thisworlddoesnotcomeuptohisideas。Itisnottheworldashewouldhavemadeithimself。Tosatisfyhiscravingformoralityhesetstoworktomakeaworldofhisown。Itisnotthisworld。Itisnotabitlikethisworld。Inaworldasitshouldbe,Veronica,youwouldundoubtedlyhavebeenblownup——ifnotaltogether,atalleventspartially。Whatyouhavetodo,Veronica,is,withafullheart,topraiseHeaventhatthisisnotaperfectworld。IfitwereIdoubtverymuch,Veronica,yourbeinghere。

  Thatyouareherehappyandthrivingprovesthatallisnotasitshouldbe。Thebullofthisworld,feelinghewantstotosssomebody,doesnotsituponhimself,sotospeak,tillthewickedchildcomesby。Hetakesthefirstchildthatturnsup,andthanksGodforit。Ahundredtooneitisthebestchildformilesaround。

  Thebulldoesnotcare。Hespoilsthatpatternchild。He’dspoilabishop,feelingashedoesthatmorning。Yourlittlefriendinthevelvetsuitwhodidgethimselfblownup,atalleventsasregardsthesuit——Whichofyouwasitthatthoughtofthatgunpowder,youorhe?\"

  Veronicaclaimedthattheinspirationhadbeenhers。

  \"Icaneasilybelieveit。Andwasheanxioustostealthegunpowderandputitonthefire,ordidhehavetobepersuaded?\"

  Veronicaadmittedthatinthequalitiesofafirst—classherohewaswanting。Nottillithadbeensuggestedtohimthathemustatheartbeacowardycowardycustardhadhebeenmovedtotakeahandintheenterprise。

  \"Alad,clearly,\"Icontinued,\"thatlefttohimselfwouldbeacomforttohisfriends。Andthestoryoftherobbers——yourinventionorhis?\"

  Veronicawasgenerouslyofopinionthathemighthavethoughtofithadhenotbeenchieflyconcernedatthemomentwiththeideaofgettinghometohismother。Asitwas,theclothingwithromanceofincidentsotherwisebaldanduninterestinghadfallenuponher。

  \"Thegoodchildofthestory。Thefactstandsoutateverypoint。

  Hisonefailinganamiableweakness。Doyounotseeitforyourself;

  Veronica?Inthebook,you,nothe,wouldhavetumbledoverthemat。

  Inthiswickedworlditisthewickedwhoprosper。He,theinnocent,thevirtuous,istornintorags。You,thevillainofthestory,escape。\"

  \"Isee,\"saidVeronica;\"thenwhenevernothinghappenstoyouthatmeansthatyou’reawrong’un。\"

  \"Idon’tgosofarastosaythat,Veronica。AndIwishyouwouldn’tuseslang。Dickisaman,andaman——well,nevermindaboutaman。

  You,Veronica,mustneverforgetthatyou’realady。Justicemustnotbelookedforinthisworld。Sometimesthewickedgetwhattheydeserve。Moreoftentheydon’t。Thereseemstobenorule。Followthedictatesofyourconscience,Veronica,andblow——Imeanbeindifferenttotheconsequences。Sometimesyou’llcomeoutallright,andsometimesyouwon’t。Butthebeautifulsensationwillalwaysbewithyou:Ididright。Thingshaveturnedoutunfortunately:butthat’snotmyfault。Nobodycanblameme。\"

  \"Buttheydo,\"saidVeronica,\"theyblameyoujustasifyou’dmeanttogoanddoit。\"

  \"Itdoesnotmatter,Veronica,\"Ipointedout,\"theopinionoftheworld。Thegoodmandisregardsit。\"

  \"Buttheysendyoutobed,\"persistedVeronica。

  \"Letthem,\"Isaid。\"WhatisbedsolongasthevoiceoftheinwardMonitorconsolesuswiththereflection——\"

  \"Butitdon’t,\"interruptedVeronica;\"itmakesyoufeelallthemadder。Itdoesreally。\"

  \"Itoughtn’tto,\"Itoldher。

  \"Thenwhydoesit?\"arguedVeronica。\"Whydon’titdowhatitoughtto?\"

  Thetroubleaboutarguingwithchildrenisthattheywillarguetoo。

  \"Life’sadifficultproblem,Veronica,\"Iallowed。\"Thingsarenotastheyoughttobe,Iadmitit。Butonemustnotdespair。

  Something’sgottobedone。\"

  \"It’sjollyhardonsomeofus,\"saidVeronica。\"Striveasyoumay,youcan’tpleaseeveryone。Andifyoujustasmuchasstandupforyourself,oh,crikey!\"

  \"Thedutyofthegrown—upperson,Veronica,\"Isaid,\"istobringupthechildinthewaythatitshouldgo。Itisn’teasywork,andoccasionallyirritabilitymaycreepin。\"

  \"There’ssuchalotof’ematit,\"grumbledVeronica。\"Therearetimes,between’emall,whenyoudon’tknowwhetheryou’restandingonyourheadoryourheels。\"

  \"Theymeanwell,Veronica,\"Isaid。\"WhenIwasalittleboyIusedtothinkjustasyoudo。Butnow——\"

  \"Didyouevergetintorows?\"interruptedVeronica。

  \"DidIever?——wasneveroutofthem,sofarasIcanrecollect。Ifitwasn’tonething,thenitwasanother。\"

  \"Anddidn’titmakeyouwild?\"enquiredVeronica,\"whenfirstofallthey’daskwhatyou’dgottosayandwhyyou’ddoneit,andthen,whenyoutriedtoexplainthingstothem,wouldn’tlistentoyou?\"

  \"Whatusedtoirritatememost,Veronica,\"Ireplied——\"Icanrememberitsowell——waswhentheytalkedsteadilyforhalfanhourthemselves,andthen,whenIwouldattemptwithonesentencetoputthemrightaboutthething,turnroundandbully—ragmeforbeingargumentative。\"

  \"Iftheywouldonlylisten,\"agreedVeronica,\"youmightgetthemtograspthings。Butno,theytalkandtalk,tillattheendtheydon’tknowwhattheyaretalkingaboutthemselves,andthentheypretendit’syourfaultforhavingmadethemtired。\"

  \"Iknow,\"Isaid,\"theyalwaysenduplikethat。’Iamtiredoftalkingtoyou,’theysay——asifwewerenottiredoflisteningtothem!\"

  \"Andthenwhenyouthink,\"saidVeronica,\"theysayyououghtn’ttothink。Andifyoudon’tthink,andletitoutbyaccident,thentheysay’whydon’tyouthink?’Itdon’tseemasthoughwecoulddoright。Itmakesonealmostdespair。\"

  \"Anditisn’tevenasiftheywerealwaysrightthemselves,\"I

  pointedouttoher。\"Whentheyknockoveraglassitis,’Whoputthatglassthere?’You’dthinkthatsomebodyhadputitthereonpurposeandmadeitinvisible。Theyarenotexpectedtoseeaglasssixinchesinfrontoftheirnose,intheplacewheretheglassoughttobe。Thewaytheytalkyou’dsupposethataglasshadnobusinessonatable。IfIbrokeit,thenitwasalways,’Clumsylittledevil!

  oughttohavehisdinnerinthenursery。’Iftheymislaytheirthingsandcan’tfindthem,it’s,’Who’sbeeninterferingwithmythings?Who’sbeeninhererummagingabout?’Thenwhentheyfindittheywanttoknowindignantlywhoputitthere。IfIcouldnotfindathing,forthesimplereasonthatsomebodyhadtakenitawayandputitsomewhereelse,thenwherevertheyhadputitwastherightplaceforit,andIwasalittleidiotfornotknowingit。\"

  \"Andofcourseyoumustn’tsayanything,\"commentedVeronica。\"Oh,no!Iftheydosomethingsillyandyoujustpointitouttothem,thenthereisalwaysareasonforitthatyouwouldn’tunderstand。

  Oh,yes!Andifyoumakejusttheslightestmistake,likewhatisnaturaltoallofus,thatisbecauseyouarewickedandunfeelinganddon’twanttobeanythingelse。\"

  \"Iwilltellyouwhatwewilldo,Veronica,\"Isaid;\"wewillwriteabook。Youshallhelpme。Andinitthechildrenshallbethewiseandgoodpeoplewhonevermakemistakes,andtheyshallbosstheshow——youknowwhatImean——lookafterthegrown—uppeopleandbringthemupproperly。Andeverythingthegrown—uppeopledo,ordon’tdo,willbewrong。\"

  Veronicaclappedherhands。\"No,willyoureally?\"shesaid。\"Oh,do。\"

  \"Iwillreally,\"Ianswered。\"Wewillcallitamoraltaleforparents;andallthechildrenwillbuyitandgiveittotheirfathersandmothersandsuch—likefolkfortheirbirthdays,withwritingonthetitle—page,’FromJohnny,orJenny,todearPapa,ortodearAunty,witheverygoodwishforhisorherimprovement!’\"

  \"Doyouthinktheywillreadit?\"doubtedVeronica。

  \"Wewillputinitsomethingshocking,\"Isuggested,\"andgetsomepapertodenounceitasadisgracetoEnglishliterature。Andifthatwon’tdoitwewillsayitisatranslationfromtheRussian。

  Thechildrenshallstopathomeandarrangewhattohavefordinner,andthegrown—uppeopleshallbesenttoschool。Wewillstartthemoffeachmorningwithalittlesatchel。Theyshallbemadetoread’Grimm’sFairyTales’intheoriginalGerman,withnotes;andlearn’OldMotherHubbard’byheartandexplainthegrammar。\"

  \"Andgotobedearly,\"suggestedVeronica。

  \"Wewillhavethemallinbedbyeighto’clock,Veronica,andtheywillgocheerfully,asiftheylikedit,orwewillknowthereasonwhy。Wewillmakethemsaytheirprayers。Betweenourselves,Veronica,Idon’tbelievetheyalwaysdo。Andnoreadinginbed,andnofinalglassofwhiskytoddy,oranynonsenseofthatsort。AnAbernethybiscuitandperhapsiftheyaregoodajujube,andthen’Goodnight,’anddownwiththeirheadonthepillow。Andnocallingout,andnopretendingtheyhavegotapainintheirtummyandcreepingdownstairsintheirnight—shirtsandclamouringforbrandy。

  Wewillbeuptoalltheirtricks。\"

  \"Andthey’llhavetotaketheirmedicine,\"Veronicaremembered。

  \"Theslightestsuggestionofsulkiness,thefirstintimationthattheyarenotenjoyingthemselves,willmeancodliveroilinatablespoon,Veronica。\"

  \"Andwewillaskthemwhytheyneverusetheircommonsense,\"chirpedVeronica。

  \"Thatwillbeourtrouble,Veronica;thattheywon’thaveanysenseofanysort——notwhatweshalldeemsense。But,nevertheless,wewillbejust。Wewillalwaysgivethemareasonwhytheyhavegottodoeverythingtheydon’twanttodo,andnothingthattheywanttodo。Theywon’tunderstanditandtheywon’tagreethatitisareason;buttheywillkeepthattothemselves,iftheyarewise。\"

  \"Andofcoursetheymustnotargue,\"Veronicainsisted。

  \"Iftheyanswerback,Veronica,thatwillshowtheyarecursedwithanargumentativetemperamentwhichmustberootedoutatanycost,\"I

  agreed;\"andiftheydon’tsayanything,thatwillprovethempossessedofasurlydispositionwhichmustbecheckedatonce,beforeitdevelopsintoavice。\"

  \"Andwhateverwedotothemwewilltellthemit’sfortheirowngood,\"Veronicachortled。

  \"Ofcourseitwillbefortheirowngood,\"Ianswered。\"Thatwillbeourchiefpleasure——makingthemgoodandhappy。Itwon’tbetheirpleasure,butthatwillbeowingtotheirignorance。\"

  \"Theywillbegratefultouslateron,\"gurgledVeronica。

  \"Withthatassurancewewillcomfortthemfromtimetotime,\"I

  answered。\"Wewillbegoodtotheminallways。Wewillletthemplaygames——notstupidgames,golfandcroquet,thatdoyounogoodandleadonlytolanguageanddispute——butbearsandwolvesandwhales;educationalsortofgamesthatwillaidtheminacquiringknowledgeofnaturalhistory。WewillshowthemhowtoplayPiratesandRedIndiansandOgres——sensibleplaythatwillhelpthemtodeveloptheirimaginativefaculties。Thatiswhygrown—uppeoplearesodull;theyarenevermadetothink。Butnowandthen,\"I

  continued,\"wewillletthemplaytheirowngames,sayonWednesdayandSaturdayafternoons。Wewillinviteothergrown—upstocometoteawiththem,andletthemflirtinthegarden,orifwetmakeloveinthedining—room,tillnursecomesforthem。Butwe,ofcourse,mustchoosetheirfriendsforthem——nice,well—behavedladiesandgentlemen,theparentsofrespectablechildren;becauselefttothemselves——well,youknowwhattheyare!Theywouldjustaslikelyfallinlovewithquiteundesirablepeople——menandwomenwecouldnotthinkofhavingaboutthehouse。Wewillselectforthemcompanionswefeelsurewillbethemostsuitableforthem;andiftheydon’tlikethem——ifUncleWilliamsayshecan’tbearthegirlwehaveinviteduptolovehim——thathepositivelyhatesher,wetilltellhimthatitisonlyhiswilfultemper,andthathe’sgottolikeherbecauseshe’sgoodforhim;anddon’tletushaveanyofhisfretfulness。AndifGrandmammapoutsandsaysshewon’tloveoldmanJonesmerelybecausehe’sgotarednose,oraglasseye,orsomesillyreasonofthatsort,wewillsaytoher:’Allright,mylady,youwillplaywithMr。Jonesandbenicetohim,oryouwillspendtheafternoonputtingyourroomtidy;makeupyourmind。’Wewillletthemmarry(onWednesdayandSaturdayafternoons),andplayatkeepinghouse。Andiftheyquarrelwewillshakethemandtakethebabiesawayfromthem,andlockthemupindrawers,andtellthemtheysha’n’thavethemagaintilltheyaregood。\"

  \"Andthemoretheytrytobegood,themoreitwillturnoutthattheyain’tbeengood,\"Veronicareflected。

  \"Theirgoodnessandtheirbadnesswilldependuponusinmoresensesthanone,Veronica,\"Iexplained。\"WhenConsolsaredown,whentheeastwindhastouchedupourliver,theywillbesurprisedhowbadtheyare。\"

  \"Andtheymustn’teverforgetwhatthey’veeverbeenoncetold,\"

  crowedVeronica。\"Wemustn’thavetotell’emthesamethingoverandoveragain,likewewastalkingtobrickwalls。\"

  \"Andifwemeanttotellthemandforgottotellthem,\"Iadded,\"wewilltellthemthattheyoughtnottowantustotellthemasimplethinglikethat,asiftheyweremerebabies。Wemustrememberallthesepoints。\"

  \"Andiftheygrumblewe’lltellthemthat’s’costheydon’tknowhowhappytheyare。Andwe’lltellthemhowgoodweusedtobewhen——I

  say,don’tyoumissyourtrain,orIshallgetintoarow。\"

  \"GreatScott!I’dforgottenallaboutthattrain,Veronica,\"I

  admitted。

  \"Betterrun,\"suggestedVeronica。

  Itsoundedgoodadvice。

  \"Keeponthinkingaboutthatbook,\"shoutedVeronica。

  \"Makeanoteofthingsastheyoccurtoyou,\"Ishoutedback。

  \"Whatshallwecallit?\"Veronicascreamed。

  \"’WhytheManintheMoonlookssatupon,’\"Ishrieked。

  WhenIturnedagainshewassittingonthetoprailofthestileconductinganimaginaryorchestrawithoneofherownshoes。Thesix—fifteenwasfortunatelytwentyminuteslate。

  IthoughtitbesttotellEthelberthathetruth;thatthingshadgonewrongwiththekitchenstove。

  \"Letmeknowtheworst,\"shesaid。\"IsVeronicahurt?\"

  \"Theworst,\"Isaid,\"isthatIshallhavetopayforanewrange。

  Why,whenanythinggoesamiss,poorVeronicashouldbeassumedasamatterofcoursetobeinit,appearstomeunjust。\"

  \"Youaresureshe’sallright?\"persistedEthelbertha。

  \"HonestInjun——confoundthosechildrenandtheirslang——Imeanpositively,\"Ianswered。TheLittleMotherlookedrelieved。

  Itoldherallthetroublewehadhadinconnectionwiththecow。

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