第2章
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  \"Peaches?\"saidhe,withextremedeliberation。

  \"Well,no,Sir。Notforthreeorfourweeksyet。

  Ihaven’tanyideawhereyoumightfindsome。Theremaybeafewintownfromundertheglass,butthey’dbebardtolocate。Maybeatoneofthemoreexpen—

  sivehotels—someplacewherethere’splentyofmoneytowaste。I’vegotsomeveryfineoranges,though—fromashiploadthatcameinto—day。\"

  TheKidlingeredonthecornerforamoment,andthensetoutbrisklytowardapairofgreenlightsthatflankedthestepsofabuildingdownadarksidestreet。

  \"Captainaroundanywhere?\"heaskedofthedesksergeantofthepolicestation。

  Atthatmomentthecaptaincamebrisklyforwardfromtherear。Hewasinplainclothesandhadabusyair。

  \"Hello,Kid,\"hesaidtothepugilist。\"Thoughtyouwerebridal—touring?

  \"Gotbackyesterday。I’masolidcitizennow。

  ThinkI’lltakeaninterestinmunicipaldoings。HowwoulditsuityoutogetintoDenverDick’splaceto—

  night,Cap?

  \"Pastperformances,\"saidthecaptain,twistinghismoustache。\"Denverwascloseduptwomonthsago。\"

  \"Correct,\"saidtheKid。\"RaffertychasedhimoutoftheForty—third。He’srunninginyourpre—

  cinctnow,andhisgame’sbiggerthanever。I’mdownonthisgamblingbusiness。Icanputyouagainsthisgame。\"

  \"Inmyprecinct?\"growledthecaptain。\"Areyousure,Kid?I’lltakeitasafavor。Haveyougottheentree?Howisittobedone?\"

  \"Hammers,\"saidtheKid。\"Theyhaven’tgotanysteelonthedoorsyet。You’llneedtenmen。

  No,theywon’tletmeintheplace。Denverhasbeentryingtodome。HethoughtItippedhimofffortheotherraid。Ididn’t,though。Youwanttohurry。

  I’vegottogetbackhome。Thehouseisonlythreeblocksfromhere。\"

  Beforetenminuteshadspedthecaptainwithadozenmenstolewiththeirguideintothehallwayofadarkandvirtuous—lookingbuildinginwhichmanybusinesseswereconductedbyday。

  \"Thirdfloor,rear,\"saidtheKid,softly。\"I’llleadtheway。\"

  Twoaxemenfacedthedoorthathepointedouttothem。

  \"Itseemsallquiet,\"saidthecaptain,doubtfully。

  \"Areyousureyourtipisstraight?\"

  \"Cutaway!\"saidtheKid。\"It’sonmeifitain’t。\"

  Theaxescrashedthroughtheasyetunprotecteddoor。Ablazeoflightfromwithinpouredthroughthesmashedpanels。Thedoorfell,andtheraidersrangintotheroomwiththeirgunshandy。

  Thebigroomwasfurnishedwiththegaudymag—

  nificencedeartoDenverDick’swesternideas。Vari—

  ouswell—patronizedgameswereinprogress。Aboutfiftymenwhowereintheroomrusheduponthepoliceinagrandbreakforpersonalliberty。Theplain—

  clothesmenhadtodoalittleclub—swinging。Morethanhalfthepatronsescaped。

  DenverDickhadgracedhisgamewithhisownpresencethatnight。Heledtherushthatwasin—

  tendedtosweepawaythesmallerbodyofraiders,ButwhenbesawtheKidhismannerbecamepersonal。

  Beingintheheavyweightclassbecasthimselfjoy—

  fullyuponhisslighterenemy,andtheyrolleddownaflightofstairsineachothersarms。Ontheland—

  ingtheyseparatedandarose,andthentheKidwasabletousesomeofhisprofessionaltactics,whichhadbeenuselesstohimwhileintheexcitedclutchofa200—poundsportinggentlemanwhowasabouttolose$20,000worthofparaphernalia。

  AftervanquishinghisadversarytheKidhurriedupstairsandthroughthegambling—roomintoasmallerapartmentconnectingbyanarcheddoorway。

  Herewasalongtablesetwithchoicestchinawareandsilver,andlavishlyfurnishedwithfoodofthatexpensiveandspectacularsortofwhichthedevoteesofsportaresupposedtobefond。Hereagainwastobeperceivedtheliberalandfloridtasteofthegen—

  tlemanwiththeurbancognomenalprefix。

  ANo。10patentleathershoeprotrudedafewofitsinchesoutsidethetableclothalongthefloor。TheKidseizedthisandpluckedforthablackmaninawhitetieandthegarbofaservitor。

  \"Getup!\"commandedtheKid。\"Areyouinchargeofthisfreelunch?\"

  \"Yes,sah,Iwas。Hastheydonepinchedusag’in,boss?\"

  \"Looksthatway。Listentome。Arethereanypeachesinthislayout?Ifthereain’tI’llhavetothrowupthesponge。\"

  \"Therewasthreedozen,sah,whenthegameopenedthisevenin’;butIreckonthegentlemendoneeat’emallup。Ifyou’dliketoeatafust—rateorange,sah,Ikinfindyousome。\"

  \"Getbusy,\"orderedtheKid,sternly,andmovewhateverpeachcropyou’vegotquickorthere’llbetrouble。Ifanybodyorangesmeagainto—night,I’llknockhisfaceoff。\"

  TheraidonDenverDick’shigh—pricedandprodi—

  galluncheonrevealedonelone,lastpeachthathadescapedtheepicureanjawsofthefollowersofchance。IntotheKid’spocketitwent,andthatin—

  defatigableforagerdepartedimmediatelywithhisprize。Withscarcelyaglanceatthesceneonthesidewalkbelow,wheretheofficerswereloadingtheirprisonersintothepatrolwagons,bemovedhomewardwithlong,swiftstrides。

  Hisheartwaslightasbewent。SorodetheknightsbacktoCamelotafterperilsandhighdeedsdonefortheirladiesfair。TheKid’sladyhadcom—

  mandedhimandbehadobeyed。True,itwasbutapeachthatshehadcraved;butithadbeennosmalldeedtogleanapeachatmidnightfromthatwintrycitywhereyettheFebruarysnowslaylikeiron。

  Shehadaskedforapeach;shewashisbride;inhispocketthepeachwaswarminginhisbandthathelditforfearthatitmightfalloutandbelost。

  OnthewaytheKidturnedinatanall—nightdrugstoreandsaidtothespectacledclerk:

  \"Say,sport,Iwishyou’dsizeupthisribofmineandseeifit’sbroke。Iwasinalittlescrapandbumpeddownaflightortwoofstairs。\"

  Thedruggistmadeanexamination。

  \"Itisn’tbroken,\"washisdiagnosis,\"butyouhaveabruisetherethatlookslikeyou’dfallenofftheFlatirontwice。\"

  \"That’sallright,\"saidtheKid。\"Let’shaveyourclothesbrush,please。\"

  Thebridewaitedintherosyglowofthepinklampshade。Themiracleswerenotallpassedaway。Bybreathingadesireforsomeslightthing—aflower,apomegranate,a—oh,yes,apeach—shecouldsendforthhermanintothenight,intotheworldwhichcouldnotwithstandhim,andhewoulddoherbidding。

  Andnowbestoodbyherchairandlaidthepeachinherband。

  \"Naughtyboy!\"shesaid,fondly。\"DidIsayapeach?IthinkIwouldmuchratherhavehadanorange。\"

  Blestbethebride。

  THEHARBINGER

  Longbeforethespringtideisfeltinthedullbosomoftheyokeldoesthecitymanknowthatthegrass—

  greengoddessisuponherthrone。Hesitsathisbreakfasteggsandtoast,begirtbystonewalls,openshismorningpaperandseesjournalismleavevernal—

  ismatthepost。

  For,whereas,spring’scourierswereoncetheevi—

  denceofourfinersenses,nowtheAssociatedPressdoesthetrick。

  ThewarbleofthefirstrobininHackensack,thestirringofthemaplesapinBennington,thebud—

  dingofthepussywillowsalongMainStreetinSyra—

  cuse,thefirstchirpofthebluebird,theswansongoftheBluePoint,theannualtornadoinSt。Louis,theplaintofthepeachpessimistfromPompton,N。

  J。,theregularvisitofthetamewildgoosewithabrokenlegtothepondnearBilgewaterJunction,thebaseattemptoftheDrugTrusttoboostthepriceofquininefoiledintheHousebyCongressmanJinks,thefirsttallpoplarstruckbylightningandtheusualstunnedpicknickerswhohadtakenrefuge,thefirstcrackoftheicejamintheAlleghenyRiver,thefindingofavioletinitsmossybedbythecorrespondentatRoundCorners—thesearetheadvancesignsoftheburgeoningseasonthatarewiredintothewisecity,whilethefarmerseesnothingbutwinteruponhisdrearyfields。

  Butthesebemereexternals。Thetrueharbingeristheheart。WhenStrephonseekshisChloeandMikehisMaggie,thenonlyisspringarrivedandthenewspaperreportofthefive—footrattlerkilledinSquirePettigrew’spastureconfirmed。

  Erethefirstvioletblew,Mr。Peters,Mr。RagsdaleandMr。KiddsattogetheronabenchinUnionSquareandconspired。Mr。PeterswastheD’Artag—

  nanoftheloafersthere。Hewasthedingiest,thelaziest,thesorriestbrownblotagainstthegreenback—

  groundofanybenchinthepark。Butjustthenhewasthemostimportantofthetrio。

  Mr。Petershadawife。ThishadnotheretoforeaffectedhisstandingwithRagsyandKidd。Butto—

  dayitinvestedhimwithapeculiarinterest。Hisfriends,havingescapedmatrimony,hadshownadispositiontoderideMr。Petersforhisventureonthattroubledsea。ButatlasttheyhadbeenforcedtoacknowledgethateitherhehadbeengiftedwithalargeforesightorthathewasoneofFortune’sluckysons。

  For,Mrs。Petershadadollar。Awholedollarbill,goodandreceivablebytheGovernmentforcustoms,taxesandallpublicdues。Howtogetpossessionofthatdollarwasthequestionupfordiscussionbythethreemustymusketeers。

  \"Howdoyouknowitwasadollar?\"askedRagsy,theimmensityofthesuminclininghimtoscepticism。

  \"Thecoalmanseenherhaveit,\"saidMr。Peters。

  \"Shewentoutanddonesomewashingyesterday。

  Andlookwhatshegivemeforbreakfast—theheelofaloafandacupofcoffee,andherwithadollar!\"

  \"It’sfierce,\"saidRagsy。

  \"Saywegoupandpunch’erandstickatowelin’ermouthandcopthecoin\"suggestedKidd,Viciously。\"Y’ain’tafraidofawoman,areyou?\"

  \"Shemighthollerandhaveuspinched,\"demurredRagsy。\"Idon’tbelieveinsluggingnowomaninahousefulofpeople。\"

  \"Gent’men,\"saidMr。Peters,severely,throughhisrussetstubble,\"rememberthatyouarespeakingofmywife。Amanwhowouldlifthishandtoaladyexceptinthewayof——\"

  \"Maguire,\"saidRagsy,pointedly,\"hasgothisbockbeersignout。Ifwehadadollarwecould——\"

  \"Hushup!\"saidMr。Peters,lickinghislips。

  \"Wegottogetthatcasenotesomehow,boys。Ain’twhat’saman’swife’shis?Leaveittome。I’llgoovertothehouseandgetit。Waithereforme。\"

  \"I’veseen’emgiveupquick,andtellyouwhereit’shidifyoukick’emintheribs,\"saidKidd。

  \"Nomanwouldkickawoman,\"saidPeters,vir—

  tuously。\"Alittlechoking—justatouchonthewindpipe—thatgetsawaywith’em—andnomarksleft。Waitforme。I’llbringbackthatdollar,boys。\"

  Highupinatenement—housebetweenSecondAve—

  nueandtheriverlivedthePetersesinabackroomsogloomythatthelandlordblushedtotaketherentforit。Mrs。Petersworkedatsundrytimes,doingoddjobsofscrubbingandwashing。Mr。Petershadapure,unbrokenrecordoffiveyearswithouthavingearnedapenny。Andyettheyclungtogether,shar—

  ingeachother’shatredandmisery,beingcreaturesofhabit。Ofhabit,thepowerthatkeepstheearthfromflyingtopieces;thoughthereissomesillytheoryofgravitation。

  Mrs。Petersreposedher200poundsonthesaferofthetwochairsandgazedstolidlyouttheonewin—

  dowatthebrickwallopposite。Hereyeswereredanddamp。Thefurniturecouldhavebeencarriedawayonapushcart,butnopushcartmanwouldhaveremoveditasagift。

  ThedooropenedtoadmitMr。Peters。Hisfox—

  terriereyesexpressedawish。Hiswife’sdiagnosislocatedcorrectlytheseatofit,butmisreadithun—

  gerinsteadofthirst。

  \"You’llgetnothingmoretoeattillnight,\"shesaid,lookingoutofthewindowagain。Takeyourhound—dog’sfaceoutoftheroom。\"

  Mr。Peters’seyecalculatedthedistancebetweenthem。Bytakingherbysurpriseitmightbepos—

  sibletospringuponher,overthrowher,andapplythethrottlingtacticsofwhichhehadboastedtohiswaitingcomrades。True,ithadbeenonlyaboast;neveryethadbedaredtolayviolentbandsuponher;butwiththethoughtsofthedelicious,coolbockorCulmbacherbracinghisnerves,hewasneartoupsettinghisowntheoriesofthetreatmentduebyagentlemantoalady。But,withhisloafer’sloveforthemoreartisticandlessstrenuousway,hechosediplomacyfirst,thehighcardinthegame——theas—

  sumedattitudeofsuccessalreadyattained。

  \"Youhaveadollar,\"hesaid,loftily,butsignifi—

  cantlyinthetonethatgoeswiththelightingofacigar—whenthepropertiesareathand。\"

  \"Ihave,\"saidMrs。Peters,producingthebillfromherbosomandcracklingit,teasingly。

  \"Iamofferedapositionina——inateastore,\"

  saidMr。Peters。\"Iamtobeginworkto—morrow。

  Butitwillbenecessaryformetobuyapairof——\"

  \"Youarealiar,\"saidMrs。Peters,reinterringthenote。\"Noteastore,nornoABCstore,nornojunkshopwouldhaveyou。Irubbedtheskinoffbothmehandswashin’jumpersandoverallstomakethatdollar。Doyouthinkitcomeoutofthemsudstobuythekindyouputintoyou?Skiddoo!Getyourmindoffofmoney。\"

  EvidentlytheposesofTalleyrandwerenotworthonehundredcentsonthatdollar。Butdiplomacyisdexterous。TheartistictemperamentofMr。Petersliftedhimbythestrapsofhiscongressgaitersandsethimonnewground。Hecalledupalookofdes—

  peratemelancholytohiseyes。

  \"Clara,\"hesaid,hollowly,\"tostrugglefurtherisuseless。Youhavealwaysmisunderstoodme。

  HeavenknowsIhavestrivenwithallmymighttokeepmyheadabovethewavesofmisfortune,but—\"

  \"Cutouttherainbowofhopeandthatstuffaboutwalkin’onebyonethroughthenarrowislesofSpain,\"saidMrs。Peters,withasigh。\"I’vehearditsooften。There’sanouncebottleofcarbolicontheshelfbehindtheemptycoffeecan。Drinkhearty。\"

  Mr。Petersreflected。Whatnext!Theoldex—

  pedientshadfailed。Thetwomustymusketeerswereawaitinghimhardbytheruinedchateau——thatistosay,onaparkbenchwithricketycast—ironlegs。

  Hishonorwasatstake。Hehadengagedtostormthecastlesingle—handedandbringbackthetreas—

  urethatwastofurnishthemwassailandsolace。Andallthatstoodbetweenhimandthecoveteddollarwashiswife,oncealittlegirlwhomhecould——aha!

  ——whynotagain?Oncewithsoftwordshecould,astheysay,twistheraroundhislittlefinger。Whynotagain?Notforyearshadhetriedit。Grimpovertyandmutualhatredhadkilledallthat。ButRagsyandKiddwerewaitingforhimtobringthedollar!

  Mr。Peterstookasurreptitiouslykeenlookathiswife。Herformlessbulkoverflowedthechair。Shekepthereyesfixedoutthewindowinastrangekindoftrance。Hereyesshowedthatshehadbeenre—

  centlyweeping。

  \"Iwonder,\"saidMr。Peterstohimself,\"ifthere’dbeanythinginit。\"

  Thewindowwasopenuponitsoutlookofbrickwallsanddrab,barrenbackyards。Exceptforthemildnessoftheairthatentereditmighthavebeenmidwinteryetinthecitythatturnssuchafrown—

  ingfacetobesiegingspring。Butspringdoesn’tcomewiththethunderofcannon。Sheisasapperandaminer,andyoumustcapitulate。

  \"I’lltryit,\"saidMr。Peterstohimself,makingawryface。

  Hewentuptohiswifeandputhisarmacrosshershoulders。

  \"Clara,darling,\"hesaidintonesthatshouldn’thavefooledababyseal,\"whyshouldwehavehardwords?Ain’tyoumyowntootsumwootsums?

  \"Ablackmarkagainstyou,Mr。Peters,inthesa—

  redledgerofCupid。Chargesofattemptedgraftarefiledagainstyou,andofforgeryandutteranceoftwoofLove’sholiestofappellations。

  Butthemiracleofspringwaswrought。IntothebackroomoverthebackalleybetweentheblackwallshadcrepttheHarbinger。Itwasridiculous,andyet—Well,itisarattrap,andyou,madamandsirandallofus,areinit。

  RedandfatandcryinglikeNiobeorNiagara,Mrs。Petersthrewherarmsaroundherlordanddissolveduponhim。Mr。Peterswouldhavestriventoextricatethedollarbillfromitsdepositvault,buthisarmswereboundtohissides。

  \"Doyouloveme,James?\"askedMrs。Peters。

  \"Madly,\"saidJames,\"but——\"

  \"Youareill!\"exclaimedMrs。Peters。\"Whyareyousopaleandtiredlooking?\"

  \"Ifeelweak,\"saidMr。Peters。\"I——\"

  \"Oh,wait;Iknowwhatitis。Wait,James。I’llbebackinaminutes’’

  WithapartingbugthatrevivedinMr。PetersrecollectionsoftheTerribleTurk,hiswifehurriedoutoftheroomanddownthestairs。

  Mr。Petershitchedhisthumbsunderhissus—

  penders。

  \"Allright,\"heconfidedtotheceiling。\"I’vegothergoing。Ihadn’tanyideatheoldgirlwassoftanymoreunderthefoolishrib。Well,sir;ain’tI

  theClaudeMelnotteofthelowerEastSide?What?

  It’sa100to1shotthatIgetthedollar。Iwonderwhatshewentoutfor。Iguessshe’sgonetotellMrs。Muldoononthesecondfloor,thatwe’rerecon—

  ciled。I’llrememberthis。Softsoap!AndRagsywastalkingaboutsluggingher!

  Mrs。Peterscamebackwithabottleofsarsapa—

  rilla。

  \"I’mgladIhappenedtohavethatdollar,\"shesaid。\"You’reallrundown,boney。\"

  Mr。Petershadatablespoonfulofthestuffin—

  sertedintohim。ThenMrs。Peterssatonhislapandmurmured:

  \"Callmetootsumwootsumsagain,James。\"

  Hesatstill,heldtherebyhismaterializedgoddessofspring。

  Springhadcome。

  OnthebenchinUnionSquareMr。RagsdaleandMr。Kiddsquirmed,tongue—parched,awaitingD’Artagnanandhisdollar。

  \"IwishIhadchokedheratfirst,\"saidMr。Peterstohimself。

  WHILETHEAUTOWAITS

  Promptlyatthebeginningoftwilight,cameagaintothatquietcornerofthatquiet,smallparkthegirlingray。Shesatuponabenchandreadabook,fortherewasyettocomeahalfhourinwhichprintcouldbeaccomplished。

  Torepeat:Herdresswasgray,andplainenoughtomaskitsimpeccancyofstyleandfit。Alarge—

  meshedveilimprisonedherturbanhatandafacethatshonethroughitwithacalmandunconsciousbeauty。Shehadcomethereatthesamehouronthedayprevious,andonthedaybeforethat;andtherewasonewhoknewit。

  Theyoungmanwhoknewithoverednear,relyinguponburntsacrificestothegreatjoss,Luck。Hispietywasrewarded,for,inturningapage,herbookslippedfromherfingersandboundedfromthebenchafullyardaway。

  Theyoungmanpounceduponitwithinstantavid—

  ity,returningittoitsownerwiththatairthatseemstoflourishinparksandpublicplaces—acompoundofgallantryandhope,temperedwithrespectforthepolicemanonthebeat。Inapleasantvoice,beriskedaninconsequentremarkupontheweatherthatin—

  troductorytopicresponsibleforsomuchoftheworld’sunhappiness—andstoodpoisedforamo—

  ment,awaitinghisfate。

  Thegirllookedhimoverleisurely;athisordinary,neatdressandhisfeaturesdistinguishedbynothingparticularinthewayofexpression。

  \"Youmaysitdown,ifyoulike,\"shesaid,inafull,deliberatecontralto。\"Really,Iwouldliketohaveyoudoso。Thelightistoobadforreading。

  Iwouldprefertotalk。\"

  ThevassalofLuckslidupontheseatbyhersidewithcomplaisance。

  \"Doyouknow,\"besaid,speakingtheformulawithwhichparkchairmenopentheirmeetings,\"thatyouarequitethestunningestgirlIhaveseeninalongtime?Ihadmyeyeonyouyesterday。

  Didn’tknowsomebodywasbowledoverbythoseprettylampsofyours,didyou,honeysuckle?\"

  \"Whoeveryouare,\"saidthegirl,inicytones,\"youmustrememberthatIamalady。Iwillexcusetheremarkyouhavejustmadebecausethemistakewas,doubtless,notanunnaturalone——inyourcircle。

  Iaskedyoutositdown;iftheinvitationmustcon—

  stitutemeyourhoneysuckle,consideritwith—

  drawn。\"

  \"Iearnestlybegyourpardon,\"pleadedtheyoungran。Hisexpressionofsatisfactionhadchangedtooneofpenitenceandhumility。Itwasmyfault,youknow—Imean,therearegirlsinparks,youknow—thatis,ofcourse,youdon’tknow,but——\"

  \"Abandonthesubject,ifyouplease。OfcourseIknow。Now,tellmeaboutthesepeoplepassingandcrowding,eachway,alongthesepaths。Wherearetheygoing?Whydotheyhurryso?Aretheyhappy?\"

  Theyoungmanhadpromptlyabandonedhisairofcoquetry。Hiscuewasnowforawaitingpart;

  hecouldnotguesstherolebewouldbeexpectedtoplay。

  \"Itisinterestingtowatchthem,\"hereplied,pos—

  tulatinghermood。\"Itisthewonderfuldramaoflife。Somearegoingtosupperandsometo——er——

  otherplaces。Onewonderswhattheirhistoriesare。\"

  \"Idonot,\"saidthegirl;\"Iamnotsoinquisi—

  tive。Icomeheretositbecausehere,only,canIbetearthegreat,common,throbbingheartofhu—

  manity。Mypartinlifeiscastwhereitsbeatsareneverfelt。CanyousurmisewhyIspoketoyou,Mr。——?\"

  \"Parkenstacker,\"suppliedtheyoungman。Thenbelookedeagerandhopeful。

  \"No,\"saidthegirl,holdingupaslenderfinger,andsmilingslightly。\"Youwouldrecognizeitim—

  mediately。Itisimpossibletokeepone’snameoutofprint。Orevenone’sportrait。Thisveilandthishatofmymaidfurnishmewithanincog。YoushouldhaveseenthechauffeurstareatitwhenhethoughtIdidnotsee。Candidly,therearefiveorsixnamesthatbelongintheholyofholies,andmine,bytheaccidentofbirth,isoneofthem。Ispoketoyou,Mr。Stackenpot——\"

  \"Parkenstacker,\"correctedtheyoungman,mod—

  estly。

  \"——Mr。Parkenstacker,becauseIwantedtotalk,foronce,withanaturalman——oneunspoiledbythedespicableglossofwealthandsupposedsocialsu—

  periority。Oh!youdonotknowhowwearyIamofit——money,money,money!Andofthemenwhosurroundme,dancinglikelittlemarionettesallcutbythesamepattern。Iamsickofpleasure,ofjewels,oftravel,ofsociety,ofluxuriesofallkinds。\"

  \"Ialwayshadanidea,\"venturedtheyoungman,hesitatingly,\"thatmoneymustbeaprettygoodthing。\"

  \"Acompetenceistobedesired。Butwhenyouleavesomanymillionsthat——!\"Sheconcludedthesentencewithagestureofdespair。\"Itisthemo—

  otonyofit\"shecontinued,\"thatpalls。Drives,dinners,theatres,balls,suppers,withthegildingofsuperfluouswealthoveritall。Sometimestheverytinkleoftheiceinmychampagneglassnearlydrivesmemad。\"

  Mr。Parkenstackerlookedingenuouslyinterested。

  \"Ihavealwaysliked,\"hesaid,\"toreadandhearaboutthewaysofwealthyandfashionablefolks。I

  supposeIamabitofasnob。ButIliketohavemyinformationaccurate。Now,Ihadformedtheopin—

  ionthatchampagneiscooledinthebottleandnotbyplacingiceintheglass。\"

  Thegirlgaveamusicallaughofgenuineamuse—

  ment。

  \"Youshouldknow,\"sheexplained,inanindul—

  genttone,\"thatweofthenon—usefulclassdependforouramusementupondeparturefromprecedent。

  Justnowitisafadtoputiceinchampagne。TheideawasoriginatedbyavisitingPrinceofTartarywhilediningattheWaldorf。Itwillsoongivewaytosomeotherwhim。JustasatadinnerpartythisweekonMadisonAvenueagreenkidglovewaslaidbytheplateofeachguesttobeputonandusedwhileeatingolives。\"

  \"Isee,\"admittedtheyoungman,humbly。

  \"Thesespecialdiversionsoftheinnercircledonotbecomefamiliartothecommonpublic。\"

  \"Sometimes,\"continuedthegirl,acknowledginghisconfessionoferrorbyaslightbow,\"IhavethoughtthatifIevershouldloveamanitwouldbeoneoflowlystation。Onewhoisaworkerandnotadrone。But,doubtless,theclaimsofcasteandwealthwillprovestrongerthanmyinclination。JustnowIambesiegedbytwo。OneisaGrandDukeofaGermanprincipality。Ithinkhehas,orhasbad,awife,somewhere,drivenmadbyhisintemperanceandcruelty。TheotherisanEnglishMarquis,socoldandmercenarythatIevenpreferthediabolismoftheDuke。Whatisitthatimpelsmetotellyouthesethings,Mr。Packenstacker?

  \"Parkenstacker,\"breathedtheyoungman。\"In—

  deed,youcannotknowhowmuchIappreciateyourconfidences。\"

  Thegirlcontemplatedhimwiththecalm,imper—

  sonalregardthatbefittedthedifferenceintheirsta—

  tions。

  \"Whatisyourlineofbusiness,Mr。Parken—

  stacker?\"sheasked。

  \"Averyhumbleone。ButIhopetoriseintheworld。Wereyoureallyinearnestwhenyousaidthatyoucouldloveamanoflowlyposition?\"

  \"IndeedIwas。ButIsaid’might。’ThereistheGrandDukeandtheMarquis,youknow。Yes;nocallingcouldbetoohumblewerethemanwhatI

  wouldwishhimtobe。\"

  \"Iwork,\"declaredMr。Parkenstacker,\"inares—

  taurant。\"

  Thegirlshrankslightly。

  \"Notasawaiter?\"shesaid,alittleimploringly。

  \"Laborisnoble,butpersonalattendance,youknow——valetsand——\"

  \"Iamnotawaiter。Iamcashierin\"——onthestreettheyfacedthatboundedtheoppositesideoftheparkwasthebrilliantelectricsign\"RESTAU—

  RANT\"——\"Iamcashierinthatrestaurantyouamthere。\"

  Thegirlconsultedatinywatchsetinabraceletofrichdesignuponherleftwrist,androse,hurriedly。

  Shethrustherbookintoaglitteringreticulesus—

  pendedfromherwaist,forwhich,however,thebookwastoolarge。

  \"Whyareyounotatwork?\"sheasked。

  \"Iamonthenightturn,\"saidtheyoungman;

  itisyetanhourbeforemyperiodbegins。MayI

  nothopetoseeyouagain?\"

  \"Idonotknow。Perhaps—butthewhimmaynotseizemeagain。Imustgoquicklynow。Thereisadinner,andaboxattheplay——and,oh!thesameoldround。Perhapsyounoticedanautomobileattheuppercorneroftheparkasyoucame。Onewithawhitebody\"Andredrunninggear?\"askedtheyoungman,knittinghisbrowsreflectively。

  \"Yes。Ialwayscomeinthat。Pierrewaitsformethere。Hesupposesmetobeshoppinginthede—

  partmentstoreacrossthesquare。Conceiveofthebondageofthelifewhereinwemustdeceiveevenourchauffeurs。Good—night。\"

  \"Butitisdarknow,\"saidMr。Parkenstacker,\"andtheparkisfullofrudemen。MayInotwalk——\"

  \"Ifyouhavetheslightestregardformywishes,\"

  saidthegirl,firmly,\"youwillremainatthisbenchfortenminutesafterIhaveleft。Idonotmeantoaccuseyou,butyouareprobablyawarethatautosgenerallybearthemonogramoftheirowner。Again,good—night\"

  Swiftandstatelyshemovedawaythroughthedusk。Theyoungmanwatchedhergracefulformasshereachedthepavementatthepark’sedge,andturnedupalongittowardthecornerwherestoodtheautomobile。Thenhetreacherouslyandunhesitat—

  inglybegantododgeandskimamongtheparktreesandshrubberyinacourseparalleltoherroute,keep—

  ingherwellinsightWhenshereachedthecornersheturnedherheadtoglanceatthemotorcar,andthenpassedit,continuingonacrossthestreet。Shelteredbehindacon—

  venientstandingcab,theyoungmanfollowedhermovementscloselywithhiseyes。Passingdownthesidewalkofthestreetoppositethepark,sheenteredtherestaurantwiththeblazingsign。Theplacewasoneofthosefranklyglaringestablishments,allwhite,paintandglass,whereonemaydinecheaplyandconspicuously。Thegirlpenetratedtherestauranttosomeretreatatitsrear,whenceshequicklyemergedwithoutherbatandveil。

  Thecashier’sdeskwaswelltothefront。Ared—

  headgirlanthestoolclimbeddown,glancingpointedlyattheclockasshedidso。Thegirlingraymountedinherplace。

  Theyoungmanthrusthishandsintohispocketsandwalkedslowlybackalongthesidewalk。Atthecornerhisfootstruckasmall,paper—coveredvolumelyingthere,sendingitslidingtotheedgeoftheturf。Byitspicturesquecoverherecognizeditasthebookthegirlhadbeenreading。Hepickeditupcarelessly,andsawthatitstitlewas\"NewArabianNights,\"theauthorbeingofthenameofStevenson。

  Hedroppeditagainuponthegrass,andlounged,irresolute,foraminute。Thenhesteppedintotheautomobile,reclineduponthecushions,andsaidtwowordstothechauffeur:

  \"Club,Henri。\"

  ACOMEDYINRUBBER

  Onemayhope,inspiteofthemetaphorists,toavoidthebreathofthedeadlyupastree;onemay,bygreatgoodfortune,succeedinblackingtheeyeofthebasilisk;onemightevendodgetheattentionsofCer—

  berusandArgus,butnoman,aliveordead,canes—

  capethegazeoftheRubberer。

  NewYorkistheCaoutchoucCity。Therearemany,ofcourse,whogotheirways,makingmoney,withoutturningtotherightortheleft,butthereisatribeabroadwonderfullycomposed,liketheMartians,solelyofeyesandmeansoflocomotion。

  Thesedevoteesofcuriosityswarm,likeflies,inamomentinastruggling,breathlesscircleaboutthesceneofanunusualoccurrence。Ifaworkmanopensamanhole,ifastreetcarrunsoveramanfromNorthTarrytown,ifalittleboydropsaneggonhiswayhomefromthegrocery,ifacasualhouseortwodropsintothesubway,ifaladylosesanickelthroughaholeinthelislethread,ifthepolicedragatelephoneandaracingchartforthfromanIbsenSocietyreading—room,ifSenatorDepeworMr。

  ChuckConnorswalksouttotaketheair—ifanyoftheseincidentsoraccidentstakesplace,youwillseethemad,irresistiblerushofthe\"rubber\"tribetothespot。

  Theimportanceoftheeventdoesnotcount。Theygazewithequalinterestandabsorptionatacho—

  rusgirloratamanpaintingaliverpillsign。Theywillformasdeepacordonaroundamanwithaclub—

  footastheywillaroundabalkedautomobile。Theyhavethefurorrubberendi。Theyareopticalglut—

  tons,feastingandfatteningonthemisfortunesoftheirfellowbeings。Theygloatandporeandglareandsquintandstarewiththeirfishyeyeslikegoggle—

  eyedperchatthebookbaitedwithcalamity。

  ItwouldseemthatCupidwouldfindtheseocularvampirestoocoldgameforhiscalorificshafts,buthavewenotyettodiscoveranimmuneevenamongtheProtozoa?Yes,beautifulRomancedescendedupontwoofthistribe,andlovecameintotheirheartsastheycrowdedabouttheprostrateformofamanwhohadbeenrunoverbyabrewerywagon。

  WilliamPrywasthefirstonthespot。Hewasanexpertatsuchgatherings。Withanexpressionofin—

  tensehappinessonhisfeatures,bestoodoverthevic—

  timoftheaccident,listeningtohisgroansasiftothesweetestmusic。WhenthecrowdofspectatorshadswelledtoacloselypackedcircleWilliamsawaviolentcommotioninthecrowdoppositehim。Menwerehurledasidelikeninepinsbytheimpactofsomemovingbodythatclovethemliketherushofator—

  nado。Withelbows,umbrella,hat—pin,tongue,andfingernailsdoingtheirduty,VioletSeymourforcedherwaythroughthemobofonlookerstothefirstrow。

  Strongmenwhoevenhadbeenabletosecureaseatonthe5。30Harlemexpressstaggeredbacklikechil—

  drenasshebuckedcentre。TwolargeladyspectatorswhobadseentheDukeofRoxburghmarriedandhadoftenblockedtrafficonTwenty—thirdStreetfellbackintothesecondrowwithrippedshirtwaistswhenViolethadfinishedwiththem。WilliamPrylovedheratfirstsight。

  TheambulanceremovedtheunconsciousagentofCupid。WilliamandVioletremainedafterthecrowdhaddispersed。TheyweretrueRubberers。Peoplewholeavethesceneofanaccidentwiththeambulancehavenotgenuinecaoutchoucinthecosmogonyoftheirnecks。Thedelicate,fineflavoroftheaffairistobebadonlyintheafter—taste—ingloatingoverthespot,ingazingfixedlyatthehousesopposite,inhoveringthereinadreammoreexquisitethantheopium—eater’secstasy。WilliamPryandVioletSey—

  mourwereconnoisseursincasualties。Theyknewbowtoextractfullenjoymentfromeveryincident。

  Presentlytheylookedateachother。Violethadabrownbirthmarkonherneckaslargeasasilverhalf—dollar。Williamfixedhiseyesuponit。WilliamPryhadinordinatelybowedlegs。Violetallowedhergazetolingerunswervinglyuponthem。Facetofacetheystoodthusformoments,eachstaringattheother。Etiquettewouldnotallowthemtospeak;butintheCaoutchoucCityitispermittedtogazewith—

  outstintatthetreesintheparksandatthephysi—

  calblemishesofafellowcreature。

  Atlengthwithasightheyparted。ButCupidhadbeenthedriverofthebrewerywagon,andthewheelthatbrokealegunitedtwofondhearts。

  ThenextmeetingoftheheroandheroinewasinfrontofaboardfencenearBroadway。Thedayhadbeenadisappointingone。Therehadbeennofightsonthestreet,childrenhadkeptfromunderthewheelsofthestreetcars,cripplesandfatmeninnegligeeshirtswerescarce;nobodyseemedtobeinclinedtosliponbananapeelsorfalldownwithheartdisease。

  EventhesportfromKokomo,Ind。,whoclaimstobeacousinofex—MayorLowandscattersnickelsfromacabwindow,hadnotputinhisappearance。

  Therewasnothingtostareat,andWilliamPryhadpremonitionsofennui。

  Buthesawalargecrowdscramblingandpushingexcitedlyinfrontofabillboard。Sprintingforit,heknockeddownanoldwomanandachildcarryingabottleofmilk,andfoughthiswaylikeademonintothemassofspectators。AlreadyintheinnerlinestoodVioletSeymourwithonesleeveandtwogoldfill—

  ingsgone,acorsetsteelpunctureandasprainedwrist,buthappy。Shewaslookingatwhattherewastosee。Amanwaspaintinguponthefence:

  \"EatBricklets—TheyFillYourFace。\"

  VioletblushedwhenshesawWilliamPry。Williamjabbedaladyinablacksilkraglanintheribs,kickedaboyintheshin,bitanoldgentlemanontheleftearandmanagedtocrowdnearertoViolet。Theystoodforanhourlookingatthemanpainttheletters。

  ThenWilliam’slovecouldberepressednolonger。

  Hetouchedheronthearm。

  \"Comewithme,\"hesaid。\"IknowwherethereisabootblackwithoutanAdam’sapple。\"

  Shelookedupathimshyly,yetwithunmistakablelovetransfiguringhercountenance。

  \"Andyouhavesaveditforme?\"sheasked,tremblingwiththefirstdimecstasyofawomanbe—

  loved。

  Togethertheyhurriedtothebootblack’sstand。

  Anhourtheyspenttheregazingatthemalformedyouth。

  Awindow—cleanerfellfromthefifthstorytothesidewalkbesidethem。Astheambulancecameclang—

  ingupWilliampressedherhandjoyously。\"Fourribsatleastandacompoundfracture,\"hewhispered,swiftly。\"Youarenotsorrythatyoumetme,areyou,dearest?

  \"Me?\"saidViolet,returningthepressure。\"Surenot。Icouldstandalldayrubberingwithyou。\"

  Theclimaxoftheromanceoccurredafewdayslater。PerhapsthereaderwillremembertheintenseexcitementintowhichthecitywasthrownwhenElizaJane,acoloredwoman,wasservedwithasubpoena。

  TheRubberTribeencampedonthespot。WithhisownhandsWilliamPryplacedaboardupontwobeerkegsinthestreetoppositeElizaJane’sresidence。

  HeandVioletsatthereforthreedaysandnights。

  Thenitoccurredtoadetectivetoopenthedoorandservethesubpoena。Hesentforakinetoscopeanddidso。

  Twosoulswithsuchcongenialtastescouldnotlongremainapart。Asapolicemandrovethemawaywithhisnightstickthateveningtheyplightedtheirtroth。

  Theseedsoflovebadbeenwellsown,andhadgrownup,hardyandvigorous,intoa—letuscallitarub—

  berplant。

  TheweddingofWilliamPryandVioletSeymourwassetforJune10。TheBigChurchintheMiddleoftheBlockwasbankedhighwithflowers。ThepopuloustribeofRubbererstheworldoverisram—

  pantoverweddings。Theyarethepessimistsofthepews。Theyaretheguyersofthegroomandthebanterersofthebride。Theycometolaughatyourmarriage,andshouldyouescapefromHymen’stoweronthebackofdeath’spalesteedtheywillcometothefuneralandsitinthesamepewandcryoveryourluck。Rubberwillstretch。

  Thechurchwaslighted。Agrosgraincarpetlayovertheasphalttotheedgeofthesidewalk。Brides—

  maidswerepattingoneanother’ssashesawryandspeakingoftheBride’sfreckles。Coachmentiedwhiteribbonsontheirwhipsandbewailedthespaceoftimebetweendrinks。Theministerwasmusingoverhispossiblefee,essayingconjecturewhetheritwouldsufficetopurchaseanewbroadclothsuitforhimselfandaphotographofLauraJaneLibbeyforhiswife。Yea,Cupidwasintheair。

  Andoutsidethechurch,oh,mybrothers,surgedandheavedtherankandfileofthetribeofRubberers。

  intwobodiestheywere,withthegrosgraincarpetandcopswithclubsbetween。Theycrowdedlikecattle,theyfought,theypressedandsurgedandswayedandtrampledoneanothertoseeabitofagirlinawhiteveilacquirelicensetogothroughaman’spocketswhilebesleeps。

  Butthehourfortheweddingcameandwent,andthebrideandbridegroomcamenot。Andimpatiencegavewaytoalarmandalarmbroughtaboutsearch,andtheywerenotfound。Andthentwobigpolice—

  mentookabandanddraggedoutofthefuriousmobofonlookersacrushedandtrampledthing,withaweddingringinitsvestpocketandashreddedandhystericalwomanbeatingherwaytothecarpet’sedge,ragged,bruisedandobstreperous。

  WilliamPryandVioletSeymour,creaturesofhabit,hadjoinedintheseethinggameofthespecta—

  tors,unabletoresisttheoverwhelmingdesiretogazeuponthemselvesentering,asbrideandbridegroom,therose—deckedchurch。

  Rubberwillout。

  ONETHOUSANDDOLLARS

  \"Onethousanddollars,\"repeatedLawyerTolman,solemnlyandseverely,\"andhereisthemoney。\"

  YoungGilliangaveadecidedlyamusedlaughashefingeredthethinpackageofnewfifty—dollarnotes。

  \"It’ssuchaconfoundedlyawkwardamount,\"heexplained,genially,tothelawyer。\"Ifithadbeententhousandafellowmightwindupwithalotoffireworksanddohimselfcredit。Evenfiftydollarswouldhavebeenlesstrouble。\"

  \"Youheardthereadingofyouruncle’swill,\"con—

  tinuedLawyerTolman,professionallydryinhistones。\"Idonotknowifyoupaidmuchattentiontoitsdetails。Imustremindyouofone。Youarerequiredtorendertousanaccountofthemannerofexpenditureofthis$1,000assoonasyouhavedis—

  posedofit。Thewillstipulatesthat。ItrustthatyouwillsofarcomplywiththelateMr。Gillian’swishes。\"

  \"Youmaydependuponit,\"saidtheyoungman。%

  politely,\"inspiteoftheextraexpenseitwillentail。

  Imayhavetoengageasecretary。Iwasnevergoodataccounts。\"

  Gillianwenttohisclub。TherebehuntedoutonewhomhecalledOldBryson。

  OldBrysonwascalmandfortyandsequestered。

  Hewasinacornerreadingabook,andwhenhesawGillianapproachinghesighed,laiddownhisbookandtookoffhisglasses。

  \"OldBryson,wakeup,\"saidGillian。\"I’veafunnystorytotellyou。\"

  \"Iwishyouwouldtellittosomeoneinthebilliardroom,\"saidOldBryson。\"YouknowhowIhateyourstories。\"

  \"Thisisabetteronethanusual,\"saidGillian,rollingacigarette;\"andI’mgladtotellittoyou。

  It’stoosadandfunnytogowiththerattlingofbilliardbars。I’vejustcomefrommylateuncle’sfirmoflegalcorsairs。Heleavesmeaneventhou—

  sanddollars。Now,whatcanamanpossiblydowithathousanddollars?\"

  \"Ithought,\"saidOldBryson,showingasmuchinterestasabeeshowsinavinegarcruet,\"thatthelateSeptimusGillianwasworthsomethinglikehalfamillion。\"

  \"Hewas,\"assentedGillian,joyously,\"andthat’swherethejokecomesin。He’slefthiswholecargoofdoubloonstoamicrobe。Thatis,partofitgoestothemanwhoinventsanewbacillusandtheresttoes—

  tablishahospitalfordoingawaywithitagain。

  Thereareoneortwotriflingbequestsontheside。

  —thebutlerandthehousekeepergetasealringand$10each。Hisnephewgets$1,000。\"

  \"You’vealwayshadplentyofmoneytospend,\"

  observedOldBryson。

  \"Tons,\"saidGillian。\"Unclewasthefairygod—

  motherasfarasanallowancewasconcerned。\"

  \"Anyotherheirs?\"askedOldBryson。

  \"None。\"Gillianfrownedathiscigaretteandkickedtheupholsteredleatherofadivanuneasily。

  ThereisaMissHayden,awardofmyuncle,wholivedinhishouse。She’saquietthing—musical—

  thedaughterofsomebodywhowasunluckyenoughtobehisfriend。Iforgottosaythatshewasinonthesealringand$10joke,too。IwishIhadbeen。

  ThenIcouldhavehadtwobottlesofbrut,tippedthewaiterwiththeringandhadthewholebusinessoffmybands。Don’tbesuperiorandinsulting,OldBry—

  son—tellmewhatafellowcandowithathousanddollars。\"

  OldBrysonrubbedhisglassesandsmiled。AndwhenOldBrysonsmiled,Gillianknewthatbein—

  tendedtobemoreoffensivethanever。

  \"Athousanddollars,\"liesaid,\"meansmuchorlittle。OnemanmaybuyahappyhomewithitandlaughatRockefeller。AnothercouldsendhiswifeSouthwithitandsaveherlife。AthousanddollarswouldbuypuremilkforonehundredbabiesduringJune,July,andAugustandsavefiftyoftheirlives。

  Youcouldcountuponahalfhour’sdiversionwithitatfaroinoneofthefortifiedartgalleries。Itwouldfurnishaneducationtoanambitiousboy。IamtoldthatagenuineCorotwassecuredforthatamountinanauctionroomyesterday。YoucouldmovetoaNewHampshiretownandliverespectablytwoyearsonit。YoucouldrentMadisonSquareGardenforoneeveningwithit,andlectureyouraudience,ifyoushouldhaveone,ontheprecariousnessofthepro—

  fessionofheirpresumptive。\"

  \"Peoplemightlikeyou,OldBryson,\"saidGillian,alwaysunruffled,\"ifyouwouldn’tmoralize。IaskedyoutotellmewhatIcoulddowithathousanddollars。\"

  \"You?\"saidBryson,withagentlelaugh。

  \"Why,BobbyGillian,there’sonlyonelogicalthingyoucoulddo。YoucangobuyMissLottaLauriereadiamondpendantwiththemoney,andthentakeyourselfofftoIdahoandinflict,yourpresenceuponaranch。Iadviseasheepranch,asIhaveaparticulardislikeforsheep。\"

  \"Thanks,\"saidGillian,rising,\"IthoughtI

  coulddependuponyou,OldBryson。You’vehitontheveryscheme。Iwantedtochuckthemoneyinalump,forI’vegottoturninanaccountforit,andIhateitemizing。\"

  Gillianphonedforacabandsaidtothedriver:

  \"ThestageentranceoftheColumbineTheatre。\"—

  MissLottaLaurierewasassistingnaturewithapowderpuff,almostreadyforhercallatacrowdedMatinee,whenherdressermentionedthenameofMr。

  Gillian。

  \"Letitin,\"saidMissLauriere。\"Now,whatisit,Bobby?I’mgoingonintwominutes。\"

  \"Rabbit—footyourrightearalittle,\"suggestedGillian,critically。\"That’sbetter。Itwon’ttaketwominutesforme。Whatdoyousaytoalittlethinginthependantline?Icanstandthreecipherswithafigureoneinfrontof’em。\"

  \"Oh,justasyousay,\"carolledMissLauriere。

  myrightglove,Adams。Say,Bobby,didyouseethatnecklaceDellaStaceyhadontheothernight?

  Twenty—twohundreddollarsitcostatTiffany’s。

  But,ofcourse—pullmysashalittletotheleft,Adams。\"

  \"MissLaurierefortheopeningchorus!\"criedthecallboywithout。

  Gillianstrolledouttowherehiscabwaswaiting。

  \"Whatwouldyoudowithathousanddollarsifyouhadit?\"beaskedthedriver。

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