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  CHAPTERIII

  /AnencounterbetweentheBaron’snoseandadoor—post,withitswonderfuleffects——Fiftybraceofducksandotherfowldestroyedbyoneshot——Flogsafoxoutofhisskin——Leadsanoldsowhomeinanewway,andvanquishesawildboar。/

  ItwassometimebeforeIcouldobtainacommissioninthearmy,andforseveralmonthsIwasperfectlyatlibertytosportawaymytimeandmoneyinthemostgentleman—likemanner。YoumayeasilyimaginethatIspentmuchofbothoutoftownwithsuchgallantfellowsasknewhowtomakethemostofanopenforestcountry。Theveryrecollectionofthoseamusementsgivesmefreshspirits,andcreatesawarmwishforarepetitionofthem。OnemorningIsaw,throughthewindowsofmybed—room,thatalargepondnotfaroffwascoveredwithwildducks。InaninstantItookmygunfromthecorner,randown—

  stairsandoutofthehouseinsuchahurry,thatIimprudentlystruckmyfaceagainstthedoor—post。Fireflewoutofmyeyes,butitdidnotpreventmyintention;Isooncamewithinshot,when,levellingmypiece,Iobservedtomysorrow,thateventheflinthadsprungfromthecockbytheviolenceoftheshockIhadjustreceived。Therewasnotimetobelost。Ipresentlyrememberedtheeffectithadonmyeyes,thereforeopenedthepan,levelledmypieceagainstthewildfowls,andmyfistagainstoneofmyeyes。[TheBaron’seyeshaveretainedfireeversince,andappearparticularlyilluminatedwhenherelatesthisanecdote。]Aheartyblowdrewsparksagain;theshotwentoff,andIkilledfiftybraceofducks,twentywidgeons,andthreecoupleofteals。Presenceofmindisthesoulofmanlyexercises。Ifsoldiersandsailorsowetoitmanyoftheirluckyescapes,huntersandsportsmenarenotlessbeholdentoitformanyoftheirsuccesses。

  InanobleforestinRussiaImetafineblackfox,whosevaluableskinitwouldhavebeenapitytotearbyballorshot。Reynardstoodclosetoatree。InatwinklingItookoutmyball,andplacedagoodspike—nailinitsroom,fired,andhithimsocleverlythatInailedhisbrushfasttothetree。Inowwentuptohim,tookoutmyhanger,gavehimacross—cutovertheface,laidholdofmywhip,andfairlyfloggedhimoutofhisfineskin。

  Chanceandgoodluckoftencorrectourmistakes;ofthisIhadasingularinstancesoonafter,when,inthedepthofaforest,Isawawildpigandsowrunningclosebehindeachother。Myballhadmissedthem,yettheforemostpigonlyranaway,andthesowstoodmotionless,asfixedtotheground。Onexaminingintothematter,I

  foundthelatteronetobeanoldsow,blindwithage,whichhadtakenholdofherpig’stail,inordertobeledalongbyfilialduty。Myball,havingpassedbetweenthetwo,hadcuthisleading—string,whichtheoldsowcontinuedtoholdinhermouth;andasherformerguidedidnotdrawheronanylonger,shehadstoppedofcourse;Ithereforelaidholdoftheremainingendofthepig’stail,andledtheoldbeasthomewithoutanyfurthertroubleonmypart,andwithoutanyreluctanceorapprehensiononthepartofthehelplessoldanimal。

  Terribleasthesewildsowsare,yetmorefierceanddangerousaretheboars,oneofwhichIhadoncethemisfortunetomeetinaforest,unpreparedforattackordefence。Iretiredbehindanoak—treejustwhenthefuriousanimallevelledaside—blowatme,withsuchforce,thathistuskspiercedthroughthetree,bywhichmeanshecouldneitherrepeattheblownorretire。Ho,ho!thoughtI,Ishallsoonhaveyounow!andimmediatelyIlaidholdofastone,wherewithI

  hammeredandbenthistusksinsuchamanner,thathecouldnotretreatbyanymeans,andmustwaitmyreturnfromthenextvillage,whitherIwentforropesandacart,tosecurehimproperly,andtocarryhimoffsafeandalive,inwhichIperfectlysucceeded。

  CHAPTERIV

  /ReflectionsonSaintHubert’sstag——Shootsastagwithcherry—

  stones;thewonderfuleffectsofit——Killsabearbyextraordinarydexterity;hisdangerpatheticallydescribed——Attackedbyawolf,whichheturnsinsideout——Isassailedbyamaddog,fromwhichheescapes——TheBaron’scloakseizedwithmadness,bywhichhiswholewardrobeisthrownintoconfusion。/

  Youhaveheard,Idaresay,ofthehunterandsportsman’ssaintandprotector,St。Hubert,andofthenoblestag,whichappearedtohimintheforest,withtheholycrossbetweenhisantlers。Ihavepaidmyhomagetothatsainteveryyearingoodfellowship,andseenthisstagathousandtimes,eitherpaintedinchurches,orembroideredinthestarsofhisknights;sothat,uponthehonourandconscienceofagoodsportsman,Ihardlyknowwhethertheremaynothavebeenformerly,orwhethertherearenotsuchcrossedstagsevenatthispresentday。ButletmerathertellwhatIhaveseenmyself。Havingonedayspentallmyshot,Ifoundmyselfunexpectedlyinpresenceofastatelystag,lookingatmeasunconcernedlyasifhehadknownofmyemptypouches。Ichargedimmediatelywithpowder,anduponitagoodhandfulofcherry—stones,forIhadsuckedthefruitasfarasthehurrywouldpermit。ThusIletflyathim,andhithimjustonthemiddleoftheforehead,betweenhisantlers;itstunnedhim——hestaggered——yethemadeoff。Ayearortwoafter,beingwithapartyinthesameforest,Ibeheldanoblestagwithafinefullgrowncherry—

  treeabovetenfeethighbetweenhisantlers。Iimmediatelyrecollectedmyformeradventure,lookeduponhimasmyproperty,andbroughthimtothegroundbyoneshot,whichatoncegavemethehaunchandcherry—sauce;forthetreewascoveredwiththerichestfruit,thelikeIhadnevertastedbefore。Whoknowsbutsomepassionateholysportsman,orsportingabbotorbishop,mayhaveshot,planted,andfixedthecrossbetweentheantlersofSt。Hubert’sstag,inamannersimilartothis?Theyalwayshavebeen,andstillare,famousforplantationsofcrossesandantlers;andinacaseofdistressordilemma,whichtoooftenhappenstokeensportsmen,oneisapttograspatanythingforsafety,andtotryanyexpedientratherthanmissthefavourableopportunity。Ihavemanytimesfoundmyselfinthattryingsituation。

  Whatdoyousayofthis,forexample?DaylightandpowderwerespentonedayinaPolishforest。WhenIwasgoinghomeaterriblebearmadeuptomeingreatspeed,withopenmouth,readytofalluponme;allmypocketsweresearchedinaninstantforpowderandball,butinvain;Ifoundnothingbuttwospareflints:oneIflungwithallmymightintothemonster’sopenjaws,downhisthroat。Itgavehimpainandmadehimturnabout,sothatIcouldlevelthesecondathisback—

  door,which,indeed,Ididwithwonderfulsuccess;foritflewin,metthefirstflintinthestomach,struckfire,andblewupthebearwithaterribleexplosion。ThoughIcamesafeoffthattime,yetIshouldnotwishtotryitagain,orventureagainstbearswithnootherammunition。

  Thereisakindoffatalityinit。Thefiercestandmostdangerousanimalsgenerallycameuponmewhendefenceless,asiftheyhadanotionoraninstinctiveintimationofit。Thusafrightfulwolfrusheduponmesosuddenly,andsoclose,thatIcoulddonothingbutfollowmechanicalinstinct,andthrustmyfistintohisopenmouth。

  Forsafety’ssakeIpushedonandon,tillmyarmwasfairlyinuptotheshoulder。HowshouldIdisengagemyself?Iwasnotmuchpleasedwithmyawkwardsituation——withawolffacetoface;ouroglingwasnotofthemostpleasantkind。IfIwithdrewmyarm,thentheanimalwouldflythemorefuriouslyuponme;thatIsawinhisflamingeyes。

  Inshort,Ilaidholdofhistail,turnedhiminsideoutlikeaglove,andflunghimtotheground,whereIlefthim。

  Thesameexpedientwouldnothaveansweredagainstamaddog,whichsoonaftercamerunningagainstmeinanarrowstreetatSt。

  Petersburg。Runwhocan,Ithought;andtodothisthebetter,Ithrewoffmyfurcloak,andwassafewithindoorsinaninstant。Isentmyservantforthecloak,andheputitinthewardrobewithmyotherclothes。ThedayafterIwasamazedandfrightenedbyJack’sbawling,\"ForGod’ssake,sir,yourfurcloakismad!\"Ihasteneduptohim,andfoundalmostallmyclothestossedaboutandtorntopieces。Thefellowwasperfectlyrightinhisapprehensionsaboutthefurcloak’smadness。Isawhimmyselfjustthenfallinguponafinefull—dresssuit,whichheshookandtossedinanunmercifulmanner。

  CHAPTERV

  /Theeffectsofgreatactivityandpresenceofmind——Afavouritehounddescribed,whichpupswhilepursuingahare;theharealsolitterswhilepursuedbythehound——PresentedwithafamoushorsebyCountPrzobossky,withwhichheperformsmanyextraordinaryfeats。/

  Allthesenarrowandluckyescapes,gentlemen,werechancesturnedtoadvantagebypresenceofmindandvigorousexertions,which,takentogether,aseverybodyknows,makethefortunatesportsman,sailor,andsoldier;buthewouldbeaveryblamableandimprudentsportsman,admiral,orgeneral,whowouldalwaysdependuponchanceandhisstars,withouttroublinghimselfaboutthoseartswhicharetheirparticularpursuits,andwithoutprovidingtheverybestimplements,whichinsuresuccess。Iwasnotblamableeitherway;forIhavealwaysbeenasremarkablefortheexcellencyofmyhorses,dogs,guns,andswords,asforthepropermannerofusingandmanagingthem,sothatuponthewholeImayhopetoberememberedintheforest,upontheturf,andinthefield。Ishallnotenterhereintoanydetailofmystables,kennel,orarmoury;butafavouritebitchofmineIcannothelpmentioningtoyou;shewasagreyhound,andIneverhadorsawabetter。Shegrewoldinmyservice,andwasnotremarkableforhersize,butratherforheruncommonswiftness。Ialwayscoursedwithher。Hadyouseenheryoumusthaveadmiredher,andwouldnothavewonderedatmypredilection,andatmycoursinghersomuch。Sheransofast,somuch,andsolonginmyservice,thatsheactuallyranoffherlegs;sothat,inthelatterpartofherlife,Iwasunderthenecessityofworkingandusingheronlyasaterrier,inwhichqualityshestillservedmemanyyears。

  Coursingonedayahare,whichappearedtomeuncommonlybig,Ipitiedmypoorbitch,beingbigwithpups,yetshewouldcourseasfastasever。Icouldfollowheronhorsebackonlyatagreatdistance。AtonceIheardacryasitwereofapackofhounds——butsoweakandfaintthatIhardlyknewwhattomakeofit。Cominguptothem,Iwasgreatlysurprised。Theharehadlitteredinrunning;thesamehadhappenedtomybitchincoursing,andtherewerejustasmanyleveretsaspups。Byinstincttheformerran,thelattercoursed:andthusI

  foundmyselfinpossessionatonceofsixhares,andasmanydogs,attheendofacoursewhichhadonlybegunwithone。

  Irememberthis,mywonderfulbitch,withthesamepleasureandtendernessasasuperbLithuanianhorse,whichnomoneycouldhavebought。Hebecameminebyanaccident,whichgavemeanopportunityofshowingmyhorsemanshiptoagreatadvantage。IwasatCountPrzobossky’snoblecountry—seatinLithuania,andremainedwiththeladiesatteainthedrawing—room,whilethegentlemenweredownintheyard,toseeayounghorseofbloodwhichhadjustarrivedfromthestud。Wesuddenlyheardanoiseofdistress;Ihasteneddown—

  stairs,andfoundthehorsesounruly,thatnobodydurstapproachormounthim。Themostresolutehorsemenstooddismayedandaghast;

  despondencywasexpressedineverycountenance,when,inoneleap,I

  wasonhisback,tookhimbysurprise,andworkedhimquiteintogentlenessandobediencewiththebestdisplayofhorsemanshipIwasmasterof。Fullytoshowthistotheladies,andsavethemunnecessarytrouble,Iforcedhimtoleapinatoneoftheopenwindowsofthetea—room,walkedroundseveraltimes,pace,trot,andgallop,andatlastmadehimmountthetea—table,theretorepeathislessonsinaprettystyleofminiaturewhichwasexceedinglypleasingtotheladies,forheperformedthemamazinglywell,anddidnotbreakeithercuporsaucer。Itplacedmesohighintheiropinion,andsowellinthatofthenoblelord,that,withhisusualpoliteness,hebeggedI

  wouldacceptofthisyounghorse,andridehimfullcareertoconquestandhonourinthecampaignagainsttheTurks,whichwassoontobeopened,underthecommandofCountMunich。

  Icouldnotindeedhavereceivedamoreagreeablepresent,noramoreominousoneattheopeningofthatcampaign,inwhichImademyapprenticeshipasasoldier。Ahorsesogentle,sospirited,andsofierce——atoncealambandaBucephalus,putmealwaysinmindofthesoldier’sandthegentleman’sduty!ofyoungAlexander,andoftheastonishingthingsheperformedinthefield。

  Wetookthefield,amongseveralotherreasons,itseems,withanintentiontoretrievethecharacteroftheRussianarms,whichhadbeenblemishedalittlebyCzarPeter’slastcampaignonthePruth;

  andthiswefullyaccomplishedbyseveralveryfatiguingandgloriouscampaignsunderthecommandofthatgreatgeneralImentionedbefore。

  Modestyforbidsindividualstoarrogatetothemselvesgreatsuccessesorvictories,thegloryofwhichisgenerallyengrossedbythecommander——nay,whichisratherawkward,bykingsandqueenswhoneversmeltgunpowderbutatthefield—daysandreviewsoftheirtroops;

  neversawafieldofbattle,oranenemyinbattlearray。

  NordoIclaimanyparticularshareofgloryinthegreatengagementswiththeenemy。Wealldidourduty,which,inthepatriot’s,soldier’s,andgentleman’slanguage,isaverycomprehensiveword,ofgreathonour,meaning,andimport,andofwhichthegeneralityofidlequidnuncsandcoffee—housepoliticianscanhardlyformanybutaverymeanandcontemptibleidea。However,havinghadthecommandofabodyofhussars,Iwentuponseveralexpeditions,withdiscretionarypowers;andthesuccessIthenmetwithis,Ithink,fairlyandonlytobeplacedtomyaccount,andtothatofthebravefellowswhomI

  ledontoconquestandtovictory。Wehadveryhotworkonceinthevanofthearmy,whenwedrovetheTurksintoOczakow。MyspiritedLithuanianhadalmostbroughtmeintoascrape:Ihadanadvancedfore—post,andsawtheenemycomingagainstmeinacloudofdust,whichleftmeratheruncertainabouttheiractualnumbersandrealintentions:towrapmyselfupinasimilarcloudwascommonprudence,butwouldnothavemuchadvancedmyknowledge,oransweredtheendforwhichIhadbeensentout;thereforeIletmyflankersonbothwingsspreadtotherightandleftandmakewhatdusttheycould,andI

  myselfledonstraightupontheenemy,tohavenearersightofthem:

  inthisIwasgratified,fortheystoodandfought,till,forfearofmyflankers,theybegantomoveoffratherdisorderly。Thiswasthemomenttofalluponthemwithspirit;webrokethementirely——madeaterriblehavocamongstthem,anddrovethemnotonlybacktoawalledtownintheirrear,buteventhroughit,contrarytoourmostsanguineexpectation。

  TheswiftnessofmyLithuanianenabledmetobeforemostinthepursuit;andseeingtheenemyfairlyflyingthroughtheoppositegate,Ithoughtitwouldbeprudenttostopinthemarket—place,toorderthementorendezvous。Istopped,gentlemen;butjudgeofmyastonishmentwheninthismarket—placeIsawnotoneofmyhussarsaboutme!Aretheyscouringtheotherstreets?orwhatisbecomeofthem?Theycouldnotbefaroff,andmust,atallevents,soonjoinme。InthatexpectationIwalkedmypantingLithuaniantoaspringinthismarket—place,andlethimdrink。Hedrankuncommonly,withaneagernessnottobesatisfied,butnaturalenough;forwhenIlookedroundformymen,whatshouldIsee,gentlemen!thehindpartofthepoorcreature——croupandlegsweremissing,asifhehadbeencutintwo,andthewaterranoutasitcamein,withoutrefreshingordoinghimanygood!Howitcouldhavehappenedwasquiteamysterytome,tillIreturnedwithhimtothetown—gate。ThereIsaw,thatwhenI

  rushedinpell—mellwiththeflyingenemy,theyhaddroppedtheportcullis(aheavyfallingdoor,withsharpspikesatthebottom,letdownsuddenlytopreventtheentranceofanenemyintoafortifiedtown)unperceivedbyme,whichhadtotallycutoffhishindpart,thatstilllayquiveringontheoutsideofthegate。Itwouldhavebeenanirreparableloss,hadnotourfarriercontrivedtobringbothpartstogetherwhilehot。Hesewedthemupwithsprigsandyoungshootsoflaurelsthatwereathand;thewoundhealed,and,whatcouldnothavehappenedbuttosogloriousahorse,thesprigstookrootinhisbody,grewup,andformedaboweroverme;sothatafterwardsIcouldgouponmanyotherexpeditionsintheshadeofmyownandmyhorse’slaurels。

  CHAPTERVI

  /TheBaronismadeaprisonerofwar,andsoldforaslave——KeepstheSultan’sbees,whichareattackedbytwobears——Losesoneofhisbees;asilverhatchet,whichhethrowsatthebears,reboundsandfliesuptothemoon;bringsitbackbyaningeniousinvention;fallstotheearthonhisreturn,andhelpshimselfoutofapit——Extricateshimselffromacarriagewhichmeetshisinanarrowroad,inamannerneverbeforeattemptednorpractisedsince——Thewonderfuleffectsofthefrostuponhisservant’sFrenchhorn。/

  Iwasnotalwayssuccessful。Ihadthemisfortunetobeoverpoweredbynumbers,tobemadeprisonerofwar;and,whatisworse,butalwaysusualamongtheTurks,tobesoldforaslave。[TheBaronwasafterwardsingreatfavourwiththeGrandSeignior,aswillappearhereafter。]Inthatstateofhumiliationmydailytaskwasnotveryhardandlaborious,butrathersingularandirksome。ItwastodrivetheSultan’sbeeseverymorningtotheirpasture—grounds,toattendthemallthedaylong,andagainstnighttodrivethembacktotheirhives。OneeveningImissedabee,andsoonobservedthattwobearshadfallenuponhertotearhertopiecesforthehoneyshecarried。I

  hadnothinglikeanoffensiveweaponinmyhandsbutthesilverhatchet,whichisthebadgeoftheSultan’sgardenersandfarmers。I

  threwitattherobbers,withanintentiontofrightenthemaway,andsetthepoorbeeatliberty;but,byanunluckyturnofmyarm,itflewupwards,andcontinuedrisingtillitreachedthemoon。HowshouldIrecoverit?howfetchitdownagain?IrecollectedthatTurkey—beansgrowveryquick,andrunuptoanastonishingheight。I

  plantedoneimmediately;itgrew,andactuallyfasteneditselftooneofthemoon’shorns。Ihadnomoretodonowbuttoclimbupbyitintothemoon,whereIsafelyarrived,andhadatroublesomepieceofbusinessbeforeIcouldfindmysilverhatchet,inaplacewhereeverythinghasthebrightnessofsilver;atlast,however,Ifounditinaheapofchaffandchoppedstraw。Iwasnowforreturning:but,alas!theheatofthesunhaddriedupmybean;itwastotallyuselessformydescent:soIfelltowork,andtwistedmearopeofthatchoppedstraw,aslongandaswellasIcouldmakeit。ThisIfastenedtooneofthemoon’shorns,andsliddowntotheendofit。HereI

  heldmyselffastwiththelefthand,andwiththehatchetinmyright,Icutthelong,nowuselessendoftheupperpart,which,whentiedtothelowerend,broughtmeagooddeallower:thisrepeatedsplicingandtyingoftheropedidnotimproveitsquality,orbringmedowntotheSultan’sfarm。Iwasfourorfivemilesfromtheearthatleastwhenitbroke;Ifelltothegroundwithsuchamazingviolence,thatI

  foundmyselfstunned,andinaholeninefathomsdeepatleast,madebytheweightofmybodyfallingfromsogreataheight:Irecovered,butknewnothowtogetoutagain;however,Idugslopesorstepswithmyfinger—nails[theBaron’snailswerethenoffortyyears’growth],andeasilyaccomplishedit。

  PeacewassoonafterconcludedwiththeTurks,andgainingmyliberty,IleftSt。Petersburgatthetimeofthatsingularrevolution,whentheemperorinhiscradle,hismother,theDukeofBrunswick,herfather,Field—MarshalMunich,andmanyothersweresenttoSiberia。

  ThewinterwasthensouncommonlyseverealloverEurope,thateversincethesunseemstobefrost—bitten。Atmyreturntothisplace,I

  feltontheroadgreaterinconveniencesthanthoseIhadexperiencedonmysettingout。

  Itravelledpost,andfindingmyselfinanarrowlane,bidthepostilliongiveasignalwithhishorn,thatothertravellersmightnotmeetusinthenarrowpassage。Heblewwithallhismight;buthisendeavourswereinvain,hecouldnotmakethehornsound,whichwasunaccountable,andratherunfortunate,forsoonafterwefoundourselvesinthepresenceofanothercoachcomingtheotherway:therewasnoproceeding;however,Igotoutofmycarriage,andbeingprettystrong,placedit,wheelsandall,uponmyhead:Ithenjumpedoverahedgeaboutninefeethigh(which,consideringtheweightofthecoach,wasratherdifficult)intoafield,andcameoutagainbyanotherjumpintotheroadbeyondtheothercarriage:Ithenwentbackforthehorses,andplacingoneuponmyhead,andtheotherundermyleftarm,bythesamemeansbroughtthemtomycoach,putto,andproceededtoaninnattheendofourstage。Ishouldhavetoldyouthatthehorseundermyarmwasveryspirited,andnotabovefouryearsold;inmakingmysecondspringoverthehedge,heexpressedgreatdisliketothatviolentkindofmotionbykickingandsnorting;

  however,Iconfinedhishindlegsbyputtingthemintomycoat—pocket。

  AfterwearrivedattheinnmypostillionandIrefreshedourselves:

  hehunghishornonapegnearthekitchenfire;Isatontheotherside。

  Suddenlywehearda/tereng!tereng!teng!teng!/Welookedround,andnowfoundthereasonwhythepostillionhadnotbeenabletosoundhishorn;histuneswerefrozenupinthehorn,andcameoutnowbythawing,plainenough,andmuchtothecreditofthedriver;sothatthehonestfellowentertainedusforsometimewithavarietyoftunes,withoutputtinghismouthtothehorn——\"TheKingofPrussia’sMarch,\"\"OvertheHillandovertheDale,\"withmanyotherfavouritetunes;atlengththethawingentertainmentconcluded,asIshallthisshortaccountofmyRussiantravels。

  /Sometravellersareapttoadvancemorethanisperhapsstrictlytrue;ifanyofthecompanyentertainadoubtofmyveracity,Ishallonlysaytosuch,Ipitytheirwantoffaith,andmustrequesttheywilltakeleavebeforeIbeginthesecondpartofmyadventures,whichareasstrictlyfoundedinfactasthoseIhavealreadyrelated。/

  CHAPTERVII

  /TheBaronrelateshisadventuresonavoyagetoNorthAmerica,whicharewellworththereader’sattention——Pranksofawhale——A

  sea—gullsavesasailor’slife——TheBaron’sheadforcedintohisstomach——Adangerousleakstoppedàposteriori。/

  IembarkedatPortsmouthinafirst—rateEnglishman—of—war,ofonehundredguns,andfourteenhundredmen,forNorthAmerica。NothingworthrelatinghappenedtillwearrivedwithinthreehundredleaguesoftheriverSt。Laurence,whentheshipstruckwithamazingforceagainst(aswesupposed)arock;however,uponheavingtheleadwecouldfindnobottom,evenwiththreehundredfathom。Whatmadethiscircumstancethemorewonderful,andindeedbeyondallcomprehension,was,thattheviolenceoftheshockwassuchthatwelostourrudder,brokeourbowspritinthemiddle,andsplitallourmastsfromtoptobottom,twoofwhichwentbytheboard;apoorfellow,whowasaloftfurlingthemainsheet,wasflungatleastthreeleaguesfromtheship;

  buthefortunatelysavedhislifebylayingholdofthetailofalargesea—gull,whobroughthimback,andlodgedhimontheveryspotfromwhencehewasthrown。Anotherproofoftheviolenceoftheshockwastheforcewithwhichthepeoplebetweendecksweredrivenagainstthefloorsabovethem;myheadparticularlywaspressedintomystomach,whereitcontinuedsomemonthsbeforeitrecovereditsnaturalsituation。Whilstwewereallinastateofastonishmentatthegeneralandunaccountableconfusioninwhichwewereinvolved,thewholewassuddenlyexplainedbytheappearanceofalargewhale,whohadbeenbasking,asleep,withinsixteenfeetofthesurfaceofthewater。Thisanimalwassomuchdispleasedwiththedisturbancewhichourshiphadgivenhim——forinourpassagewehadwithourrudderscratchedhisnose——thathebeatinallthegalleryandpartofthequarter—deckwithhistail,andalmostatthesameinstanttookthemainsheetanchor,whichwassuspended,asitusuallyis,fromthehead,betweenhisteeth,andranawaywiththeship,atleastsixtyleagues,attherateoftwelveleaguesanhour,whenfortunatelythecablebroke,andwelostboththewhaleandtheanchor。However,uponourreturntoEurope,somemonthsafter,wefoundthesamewhalewithinafewleaguesofthesamespot,floatingdeaduponthewater;

  itmeasuredabovehalfamileinlength。Aswecouldtakebutasmallquantityofsuchamonstrousanimalonboard,wegotourboatsout,andwithmuchdifficultycutoffhishead,where,toourgreatjoy,wefoundtheanchor,andabovefortyfathomofthecable,concealedontheleftsideofhismouth,justunderhistongue。[Perhapsthiswasthecauseofhisdeath,asthatsideofhistonguewasmuchswelled,withagreatdegreeofinflammation。]Thiswastheonlyextraordinarycircumstancethathappenedonthisvoyage。Onepartofourdistress,however,Ihadliketohaveforgot:whilethewhalewasrunningawaywiththeshipshesprungaleak,andthewaterpouredinsofast,thatallourpumpscouldnotkeepusfromsinking;itwas,however,mygoodfortunetodiscoveritfirst。Ifounditalargeholeaboutafootdiameter;youwillnaturallysupposethiscircumstancegivesmeinfinitepleasure,whenIinformyouthatthisnoblevesselwaspreserved,withallitscrew,byamostfortunatethought!inshort,I

  satdownoverit,andcouldhavedispensedwithithaditbeenlarger;

  norwillyoubesurprisedwhenIinformyouIamdescendedfromDutchparents。[TheBaron’sancestorshavebutlatelysettledthere;inanotherpartofhisadventuresheboastsofroyalblood。]

  Mysituation,whileIsatthere,wasrathercool,butthecarpenter’sartsoonrelievedme。

  CHAPTERVIII

  /BathesintheMediterranean——Meetsanunexpectedcompanion——

  Arrivesunintentionallyintheregionsofheatanddarkness,fromwhichheisextricatedbydancingahornpipe——Frightenshisdeliverers,andreturnsonshore。/

  IwasonceingreatdangerofbeinglostinamostsingularmannerintheMediterranean:IwasbathinginthatpleasantseanearMarseillesonesummer’safternoon,whenIdiscoveredaverylargefish,withhisjawsquiteextended,approachingmewiththegreatestvelocity;therewasnotimetobelost,norcouldIpossiblyavoidhim。Iimmediatelyreducedmyselftoassmallasizeaspossible,byclosingmyfeetandplacingmyhandsalsonearmysides,inwhichpositionIpasseddirectlybetweenhisjaws,andintohisstomach,whereIremainedsometimeintotaldarkness,andcomfortablywarm,asyoumayimagine;atlastitoccurredtome,thatbygivinghimpainhewouldbegladtogetridofme:asIhadplentyofroom,Iplayedmypranks,suchastumbling,hop,step,andjump,&c。,butnothingseemedtodisturbhimsomuchasthequickmotionofmyfeetinattemptingtodanceahornpipe;soonafterIbeganheputmeoutbysuddenfitsandstarts:

  Ipersevered;atlastheroaredhorridly,andstoodupalmostperpendicularlyinthewater,withhisheadandshouldersexposed,bywhichhewasdiscoveredbythepeopleonboardanItaliantrader,thensailingby,whoharpoonedhiminafewminutes。AssoonashewasbroughtonboardIheardthecrewconsultinghowtheyshouldcuthimup,soastopreservethegreatestquantityofoil。AsIunderstoodItalian,Iwasinmostdreadfulapprehensionslesttheirweaponsemployedinthisbusinessshoulddestroymealso;thereforeIstoodasnearthecentreaspossible,fortherewasroomenoughforadozenmeninthiscreature’sstomach,andInaturallyimaginedtheywouldbeginwiththeextremities;however,myfearsweresoondispersed,fortheybeganbyopeningthebottomofthebelly。AssoonasIperceivedaglimmeringoflightIcalledoutlustilytobereleasedfromasituationinwhichIwasnowalmostsuffocated。Itisimpossibleformetodojusticetothedegreeandkindofastonishmentwhichsatuponeverycountenanceathearingahumanvoiceissuefromafish,butmoresoatseeinganakedmanwalkuprightoutofhisbody;inshort,gentlemen,Itoldthemthewholestory,asIhavedoneyou,whilstamazementstruckthemdumb。

  Aftertakingsomerefreshment,andjumpingintotheseatocleansemyself,Iswamtomyclothes,whichlaywhereIhadleftthemontheshore。AsnearasIcancalculate,Iwasnearfourhoursandahalfconfinedinthestomachofthisanimal。

  CHAPTERIX

  /AdventuresinTurkey,andupontheriverNile——SeesaballoonoverConstantinople;shootsat,andbringsitdown;findsaFrenchexperimentalphilosophersuspendedfromit——GoesonanembassytoGrandCairo,andreturnsupontheNile,whereheisthrownintoanunexpectedsituation,anddetainedsixweeks。/

  WhenIwasintheserviceoftheTurksIfrequentlyamusedmyselfinapleasure—bargeontheMarmora,whichcommandsaviewofthewholecityofConstantinople,includingtheGrandSeignior’sSeraglio。Onemorning,asIwasadmiringthebeautyandserenityofthesky,I

  observedaglobularsubstanceintheair,whichappearedtobeaboutthesizeofatwelve—inchglobe,withsomewhatsuspendedfromit。I

  immediatelytookupmylargestandlongestbarrelfowling—piece,whichInevertravelormakeevenanexcursionwithout,ifIcanhelpit;I

  chargedwithaball,andfiredattheglobe,buttonopurpose,theobjectbeingattoogreatadistance。Ithenputinadoublequantityofpowder,andfiveorsixballs:thissecondattemptsucceeded;alltheballstookeffect,andtoreonesideopen,andbroughtitdown。

  Judgemysurprisewhenamostelegantgiltcar,withamaninit,andpartofasheepwhichseemedtohavebeenroasted,fellwithintwoyardsofme。Whenmyastonishmenthadinsomedegreesubsided,I

  orderedmypeopletorowclosetothisstrangea?rialtraveller。

  Itookhimonboardmybarge(hewasanativeofFrance):hewasmuchindisposedfromhissuddenfallintothesea,andincapableofspeaking;aftersometime,however,herecovered,andgavethefollowingaccountofhimself,viz。:\"Aboutsevenoreightdayssince,Icannottellwhich,forIhavelostmyreckoning,havingbeenmostofthetimewherethesunneversets,IascendedfromtheLand’sEndinCornwall,intheislandofGreatBritain,inthecarfromwhichIhavebeenjusttaken,suspendedfromaverylargeballoon,andtookasheepwithmetotryatmosphericexperimentsupon:unfortunately,thewindchangedwithintenminutesaftermyascent,andinsteadofdrivingtowardsExeter,whereIintendedtoland,Iwasdriventowardsthesea,overwhichIsupposeIhavecontinuedeversince,butmuchtoohightomakeobservations。

  \"Thecallsofhungerweresopressing,thattheintendedexperimentsuponheatandrespirationgavewaytothem。Iwasobliged,onthethirdday,tokillthesheepforfood;andbeingatthattimeinfinitelyabovethemoon,andforupwardsofsixteenhoursaftersoverynearthesunthatitscorchedmyeyebrows,Iplacedthecarcase,takingcaretoskinitfirst,inthatpartofthecarwherethesunhadsufficientpower,or,inotherwords,wheretheballoondidnotshadeitfromthesun,bywhichmethoditwaswellroastedinabouttwohours。Thishasbeenmyfoodeversince。\"Herehepaused,andseemedlostinviewingtheobjectsabouthim。WhenItoldhimthebuildingsbeforeusweretheGrandSeignior’sSeraglioatConstantinople,heseemedexceedinglyaffected,ashehadsupposedhimselfinaverydifferentsituation。\"Thecause,\"addedhe,\"ofmylongflight,wasowingtothefailureofastringwhichwasfixedtoavalveintheballoon,intendedtoletouttheinflammableair;andifithadnotbeenfiredat,andrentinthemannerbeforementioned,I

  might,likeMahomet,havebeensuspendedbetweenheavenandearthtilldoomsday。\"

  TheGrandSeignior,towhomIwasintroducedbytheImperial,Russian,andFrenchambassadors,employedmetonegotiateamatterofgreatimportanceatGrandCairo,andwhichwasofsuchanaturethatitmusteverremainasecret。

  Iwentthereingreatstatebyland;where,havingcompletedthebusiness,Idismissedalmostallmyattendants,andreturnedlikeaprivategentleman;theweatherwasdelightful,andthatfamousrivertheNilewasbeautifulbeyondalldescription;inshort,IwastemptedtohireabargetodescendbywatertoAlexandria。Onthethirddayofmyvoyagetheriverbegantorisemostamazingly(youhaveallheard,Ipresume,oftheannualoverflowingoftheNile),andonthenextdayitspreadthewholecountryformanyleaguesoneachside!Onthefifth,atsunrise,mybargebecameentangledwithwhatIatfirsttookforshrubs,butasthelightbecamestrongerIfoundmyselfsurroundedbyalmonds,whichwereperfectlyripe,andinthehighestperfection。

  Uponplumbingwithalinemypeoplefoundwewereatleastsixtyfeetfromtheground,andunabletoadvanceorretreat。Atabouteightornineo’clock,asnearasIcouldjudgebythealtitudeofthesun,thewindrosesuddenly,andcantedourbargeononeside:hereshefilled,andIsawnomoreofherforsometime。Fortunatelyweallsavedourselves(sixmenandtwoboys)byclingingtothetree,theboughsofwhichwereequaltoourweight,thoughnottothatofthebarge:inthissituationwecontinuedsixweeksandthreedays,livinguponthealmonds;Ineednotinformyouwehadplentyofwater。Ontheforty—

  seconddayofourdistressthewaterfellasrapidlyasithadrisen,andontheforty—sixthwewereabletoventuredownupon/terrafirma/。Ourbargewasthefirstpleasingobjectwesaw,abouttwohundredyardsfromthespotwhereshesunk。Afterdryingeverythingthatwasusefulbytheheatofthesun,andloadingourselveswithnecessariesfromthestoresonboard,wesetouttorecoverourlostground,andfound,bythenearestcalculation,wehadbeencarriedovergarden—walls,andavarietyofenclosures,aboveonehundredandfiftymiles。Infourdays,afteraverytiresomejourneyonfoot,withthinshoes,wereachedtheriver,whichwasnowconfinedtoitsbanks,relatedouradventurestoaboy,whokindlyaccommodatedallourwants,andsentusforwardinabargeofhisown。InsixdaysmorewearrivedatAlexandria,wherewetookshippingforConstantinople。I

  wasreceivedkindlybytheGrandSeignior,andhadthehonourofseeingtheSeraglio,towhichhishighnessintroducedmehimself。

  CHAPTERX

  /PaysavisitduringthesiegeofGibraltartohisoldfriendGeneralElliot——SinksaSpanishman—of—war——WakesanoldwomanontheAfricancoast——Destroysalltheenemy’scannon;frightenstheCountd’Artois,andsendshimtoParis——SavesthelivesoftwoEnglishspieswiththeidenticalslingthatkilledGoliath;andraisesthesiege。/

  DuringthelatesiegeofGibraltarIwentwithaprovision—fleet,underLordRodney’scommand,toseemyoldfriendGeneralElliot,whohas,byhisdistinguisheddefenceofthatplace,acquiredlaurelsthatcanneverfade。Aftertheusualjoywhichgenerallyattendsthemeetingofoldfriendshadsubsided,Iwenttoexaminethestateofthegarrison,andviewtheoperationsoftheenemy,forwhichpurposetheGeneralaccompaniedme。IhadbroughtamostexcellentrefractingtelescopewithmefromLondon,purchasedofDollond,bythehelpofwhichIfoundtheenemyweregoingtodischargeathirty—sixpounderatthespotwherewestood。ItoldtheGeneralwhattheywereabout;

  helookedthroughtheglassalso,andfoundmyconjecturesright。I

  immediately,byhispermission,orderedaforty—eightpoundertobebroughtfromaneighbouringbattery,whichIplacedwithsomuchexactness(havinglongstudiedtheartofgunnery)thatIwassureofmymark。

  IcontinuedwatchingtheenemytillIsawthematchplacedatthetouch—holeoftheirpiece;atthatveryinstantIgavethesignalforourguntobefiredalso。

  Aboutmidwaybetweenthetwopiecesofcannontheballsstruckeachotherwithamazingforce,andtheeffectwasastonishing!Theenemy’sballrecoiledbackwithsuchviolenceastokillthemanwhohaddischargedit,bycarryinghisheadfairlyoff,withsixteenotherswhichitmetwithinitsprogresstotheBarbarycoast,whereitsforce,afterpassingthroughthreemastsofvesselsthatthenlayinalinebehindeachotherintheharbour,wassomuchspent,thatitonlybrokeitswaythroughtheroofofapoorlabourer’shut,abouttwohundredyardsinland,anddestroyedafewteethanoldwomanhadleft,wholayasleepuponherbackwithhermouthopen。Theballlodgedinherthroat。Herhusbandsoonaftercamehome,andendeavouredtoextractit;butfindingthatimpracticable,bytheassistanceofarammerheforceditintoherstomach。Ourballdidexcellentservice;

  foritnotonlyrepelledtheotherinthemannerjustdescribed,but,proceedingasIintendeditshould,itdismountedtheverypieceofcannonthathadjustbeenemployedagainstus,andforceditintotheholdoftheship,whereitfellwithsomuchforceastobreakitswaythroughthebottom。Theshipimmediatelyfilledandsank,withaboveathousandSpanishsailorsonboard,besidesaconsiderablenumberofsoldiers。This,tobesure,wasamostextraordinaryexploit;Iwillnot,however,takethewholemerittomyself;myjudgmentwastheprincipalengine,butchanceassistedmealittle;forIafterwardsfound,thatthemanwhochargedourforty—eightpounderputin,bymistake,adoublequantityofpowder,elsewecouldneverhavesucceededsomuchbeyondallexpectation,especiallyinrepellingtheenemy’sball。

  GeneralElliotwouldhavegivenmeacommissionforthissingularpieceofservice;butIdeclinedeverything,excepthisthanks,whichIreceivedatacrowdedtableofofficersatsupperontheeveningofthatveryday。

  AsIamverypartialtotheEnglish,whoarebeyondalldoubtabravepeople,IdeterminednottotakemyleaveofthegarrisontillIhadrenderedthemanotherpieceofservice,andinaboutthreeweeksanopportunitypresenteditself。Idressedmyselfinthehabitofa/Popishpriest/,andataboutoneo’clockinthemorningstoleoutofthegarrison,passedtheenemy’slines,andarrivedinthemiddleoftheircamp,whereIenteredthetentinwhichthePrinced’Artoiswas,withthecommander—in—chief,andseveralotherofficers,indeepcouncil,concertingaplantostormthegarrisonnextmorning。Mydisguisewasmyprotection;theysufferedmetocontinuethere,hearingeverythingthatpassed,tilltheywenttotheirseveralbeds。

  WhenIfoundthewholecamp,andeventhesentinels,werewrappedupinthearmsofMorpheus,Ibeganmywork,whichwasthatofdismountingalltheircannon(abovethreehundredpieces),fromforty—

  eighttotwenty—fourpounders,andthrowingthemthreeleaguesintothesea。Havingnoassistance,IfoundthisthehardesttaskIeverundertook,exceptswimmingtotheoppositeshorewiththefamousTurkishpieceofordnance,describedbyBarondeTottinhisMemoirs,whichIshallhereaftermention。Ithenpiledallthecarriagestogetherinthecentreofthecamp,which,topreventthenoiseofthewheelsbeingheard,Icarriedinpairsundermyarms;andanobleappearancetheymade,ashighatleastastherockofGibraltar。I

  thenlightedamatchbystrikingaflintstone,situatedtwentyfeetfromtheground(inanoldwallbuiltbytheMoorswhentheyinvadedSpain),withthebreechofanironeight—and—fortypounder,andsosetfiretothewholepile。IforgottoinformyouthatIthrewalltheirammunition—waggonsuponthetop。

  BeforeIappliedthelightedmatchIhadlaidthecombustiblesatthebottomsojudiciously,thatthewholewasinablazeinamoment。TopreventsuspicionIwasoneofthefirsttoexpressmysurprise。Thewholecampwas,asyoumayimagine,petrifiedwithastonishment:thegeneralconclusionwas,thattheirsentinelshadbeenbribed,andthatsevenoreightregimentsofthegarrisonhadbeenemployedinthishorriddestructionoftheirartillery。Mr。Drinkwater,inhisaccountofthisfamoussiege,mentionstheenemysustainingagreatlossbyafirewhichhappenedintheircamp,butneverknewthecause;howshouldhe?asIneverdivulgeditbefore(thoughIalonesavedGibraltarbythisnight’sbusiness),noteventoGeneralElliot。TheCountd’Artoisandallhisattendantsranawayintheirfright,andneverstoppedontheroadtilltheyreachedParis,whichtheydidinaboutafortnight;thisdreadfulconflagrationhadsuchaneffectuponthemthattheywereincapableoftakingtheleastrefreshmentforthreemonthsafter,but,chameleon—like,livedupontheair。

  /Ifanygentlemanwillsayhedoubtsthetruthofthisstory,Iwillfinehimagallonofbrandyandmakehimdrinkitatonedraught。/

  AbouttwomonthsafterIhaddonethebesiegedthisservice,onemorning,asIsatatbreakfastwithGeneralElliot,ashell(forIhadnottimetodestroytheirmortarsaswellastheircannon)enteredtheapartmentweweresittingin;itlodgeduponourtable:theGeneral,asmostmenwoulddo,quittedtheroomdirectly;butItookitupbeforeitburst,andcarriedittothetopoftherock,when,lookingovertheenemy’scamp,onaneminencenearthesea—coastIobservedaconsiderablenumberofpeople,butcouldnot,withmynakedeye,discoverhowtheywereemployed。Ihadrecourseagaintomytelescope,whenIfoundthattwoofourofficers,oneageneral,theotheracolonel,withwhomIspenttheprecedingevening,andwhowentoutintotheenemy’scampaboutmidnightasspies,weretaken,andthenwereactuallygoingtobeexecutedonagibbet。Ifoundthedistancetoogreattothrowtheshellwithmyhand,butmostfortunatelyrecollectingthatIhadtheveryslinginmypocketwhichassistedDavidinslayingGoliath,Iplacedtheshellinit,andimmediatelythrewitinthemidstofthem:itburstasitfell,anddestroyedallpresent,exceptthetwoculprits,whoweresavedbybeingsuspendedsohigh,fortheywerejustturnedoff:however,oneofthepiecesoftheshellfledwithsuchforceagainstthefootofthegibbet,thatitimmediatelybroughtitdown。Ourtwofriendsnosoonerfelt/terrafirma/thantheylookedaboutforthecause;andfindingtheirguards,executioner,andall,hadtakenitintheirheadstodiefirst,theydirectlyextricatedeachotherfromtheirdisgracefulcords,andthenrandowntothesea—shore,seizedaSpanishboatwithtwomeninit,andmadethemrowtooneofourships,whichtheydidwithgreatsafety,andinafewminutesafter,whenIwasrelatingtoGeneralElliothowIhadacted,theybothtookusbythehand,andaftermutualcongratulationsweretiredtospendthedaywithfestivity。

  CHAPTERXI

  /AninterestingaccountoftheBaron’sancestors——AquarrelrelativetothespotwhereNoahbuilthisark——Thehistoryofthesling,anditsproperties——Afavouritepoetintroduceduponnoveryreputableoccasion——queenElizabeth’sabstinence——TheBaron’sfathercrossesfromEnglandtoHollanduponamarinehorse,whichhesellsforsevenhundredducats。/

  Youwish(Icanseebyyourcountenances)IwouldinformyouhowI

  becamepossessedofsuchatreasureastheslingjustmentioned。(Herefactsmustbeheldsacred。)Thusthenitwas:IamadescendantofthewifeofUriah,whomweallknowDavidwasintimatewith;shehadseveralchildrenbyhismajesty;theyquarrelledonceuponamatterofthefirstconsequence,viz。,thespotwhereNoah’sarkwasbuilt,andwhereitrestedaftertheflood。Aseparationconsequentlyensued。Shehadoftenheardhimspeakofthisslingashismostvaluabletreasure:

  thisshestolethenighttheyparted;itwasmissedbeforeshegotoutofhisdominions,andshewaspursuedbynolessthansixoftheking’sbody—guards:however,byusingitherselfshehitthefirstofthem(foronewasmoreactiveinthepursuitthantherest)whereDaviddidGoliath,andkilledhimonthespot。Hiscompanionsweresoalarmedathisfallthattheyretired,andleftUriah’swifetopursueherjourney。Shetookwithher,Ishouldhaveinformedyoubefore,herfavouritesonbythisconnection,towhomshebequeathedthesling;

  andthusithas,withoutinterruption,descendedfromfathertosontillitcameintomypossession。Oneofitspossessors,mygreat—

  great—great—grandfather,wholivedabouttwohundredandfiftyyearsago,wasuponavisittoEngland,andbecameintimatewithapoetwhowasagreatdeer—stealer;IthinkhisnamewasShakespeare:hefrequentlyborrowedthissling,andwithitkilledsomuchofSirThomasLucy’svenison,thathenarrowlyescapedthefateofmytwofriendsatGibraltar。PoorShakespearewasimprisoned,andmyancestorobtainedhisfreedominaverysingularmanner。QueenElizabethwasthenonthethrone,butgrownsoindolent,thateverytriflingmatterwasatroubletoher;dressing,undressing,eating,drinking,andsomeotherofficeswhichshallbenameless,madelifeaburdentoher;allthesethingsheenabledhertodowithout,orbyadeputy!andwhatdoyouthinkwastheonlyreturnshecouldprevailuponhimtoacceptforsucheminentservices?settingShakespeareatliberty!Suchwashisaffectionforthatfamouswriter,thathewouldhaveshortenedhisowndaystoaddtothenumberofhisfriend’s。

  Idonothearthatanyofthequeen’ssubjects,particularlythe/beef—eaters/,astheyarevulgarlycalledtothisday,howevertheymightbestruckwiththenoveltyatthetime,muchapprovedofherlivingtotallywithoutfood。Shedidnotsurvivethepracticeherselfabovesevenyearsandahalf。

  Myfather,whowastheimmediatepossessorofthisslingbeforeme,toldmethefollowinganecdote:——

  Hewaswalkingbythesea—shoreatHarwich,withthisslinginhispocket;beforehispaceshadcoveredamilehewasattackedbyafierceanimalcalledaseahorse,open—mouthed,whoranathimwithgreatfury;hehesitatedamoment,thentookouthissling,retreatedbackaboutahundredyards,stoopedforacoupleofpebbles,ofwhichtherewereplentyunderhisfeet,andslungthembothsodexterouslyattheanimal,thateachstoneputoutaneye,andlodgedinthecavitieswhichtheirremovalhadoccasioned。Henowgotuponhisback,anddrovehimintothesea;forthemomenthelosthissighthelostalsoferocity,andbecameastameaspossible:theslingwasplacedasabridleinhismouth;hewasguidedwiththegreatestfacilityacrosstheocean,andinlessthanthreehourstheybotharrivedontheoppositeshore,whichisaboutthirtyleagues。Themasterofthe/ThreeCups/,atHelvoetsluys,inHolland,purchasedthismarinehorse,tomakeanexhibitionof,forsevenhundredducats,whichwasupwardsofthreehundredpounds,andthenextdaymyfatherpaidhispassagebackinthepackettoHarwich。

  /——Myfathermadeseveralcuriousobservationsinthispassage,whichIwillrelatehereafter。/

  CHAPTERXII

  /Thefrolic;itsconsequences——WindsorCastle——St。Paul’s——CollegeofPhysicians——Undertakers,sextons,&c。,almostruined——Industryoftheapothecaries。/

  THEFROLIC。

  Thisfamousslingmakesthepossessorequaltoanytaskheisdesirousofperforming。

  Imadeaballoonofsuchextensivedimensions,thatanaccountofthesilkitcontainedwouldexceedallcredibility;everymercer’sshopandweaver’sstockinLondon,Westminster,andSpitalfieldscontributedtoit:withthisballoonandmyslingIplayedmanytricks,suchastakingonehousefromitsstation,andplacinganotherinitsstead,withoutdisturbingtheinhabitants,whoweregenerallyasleep,ortoomuchemployedtoobservetheperegrinationsoftheirhabitations。WhenthesentinelatWindsorCastleheardSt。Paul’sclockstrikethirteen,itwasthroughmydexterity;Ibroughtthebuildingsnearlytogetherthatnight,byplacingthecastleinSt。

  George’sFields,andcarrieditbackagainbeforedaylight,withoutwakinganyoftheinhabitants;notwithstandingtheseexploits,I

  shouldhavekeptmyballoon,anditspropertiesasecret,ifMontgolfierhadnotmadetheartofflyingsopublic。

  Onthe30thofSeptember,whentheCollegeofPhysicianschosetheirannualofficers,anddinedsumptuouslytogether,Ifilledmyballoon,broughtitoverthedomeoftheirbuilding,clappedtheslingroundthegoldenballatthetop,fasteningtheotherendofittotheballoon,andimmediatelyascendedwiththewholecollegetoanimmenseheight,whereIkeptthemupwardsofthreemonths。Youwillnaturallyinquirewhattheydidforfoodsuchalengthoftime?TothisI

  answer,HadIkeptthemsuspendedtwicethetime,theywouldhaveexperiencednoinconvenienceonthataccount,soamply,orratherextravagantly,hadtheyspreadtheirtableforthatday’sfeasting。

  Thoughthiswasmeantasaninnocentfrolic,itwasproductiveofmuchmischieftoseveralrespectablecharactersamongsttheclergy,undertakers,sextons,andgrave—diggers:theywere,itmustbeacknowledged,sufferers;foritisawell—knownfact,thatduringthethreemonthsthecollegewassuspendedintheair,andthereforeincapableofattendingtheirpatients,nodeathshappened,exceptafewwhofellbeforethescytheofFatherTime,andsomemelancholyobjectswho,perhapstoavoidsometriflinginconveniencehere,laidthehandsofviolenceuponthemselves,andplungedintomiseryinfinitelygreaterthanthatwhichtheyhopedbysucharashsteptoavoid,withoutamoment’sconsideration。

  Iftheapothecarieshadnotbeenveryactiveduringtheabovetime,halftheundertakersinallprobabilitywouldhavebeenbankrupts。

  CHAPTERXIII

  ATRIPTOTHENORTH

  /TheBaronsailswithCaptainPhipps,attackstwolargebears,andhasaverynarrowescape——Gainstheconfidenceoftheseanimals,andthendestroysthousandsofthem;loadstheshipwiththeirhamsandskins;makespresentsoftheformer,andobtainsageneralinvitationtoallcityfeasts——AdisputebetweentheCaptainandtheBaron,inwhich,frommotivesofpoliteness,theCaptainissufferedtogainhispoint——TheBarondeclinestheofferofathrone,andanempressintothebargain。/

  WeallrememberCaptainPhipps’s(nowLordMulgrave)lastvoyageofdiscoverytothenorth。Iaccompaniedthecaptain,notasanofficer,butasaprivatefriend。WhenwearrivedinahighnorthernlatitudeI

  wasviewingtheobjectsaroundmewiththetelescopewhichI

  introducedtoyournoticeinmyGibraltaradventures。IthoughtIsawtwolargewhitebearsinviolentactionuponabodyoficeconsiderablyabovethemasts,andabouthalfaleaguedistance。I

  immediatelytookmycarbine,slungitacrossmyshoulder,andascendedtheice。WhenIarrivedatthetop,theunevennessofthesurfacemademyapproachtothoseanimalstroublesomeandhazardousbeyondexpression:sometimeshideouscavitiesopposedme,whichIwasobligedtospringover;inotherpartsthesurfacewasassmoothasamirror,andIwascontinuallyfalling:asIapproachednearenoughtoreachthem,Ifoundtheywereonlyatplay。Iimmediatelybegantocalculatethevalueoftheirskins,fortheywereeachaslargeasawell—fedox:unfortunately,attheveryinstantIwaspresentingmycarbinemyrightfootslipped,Ifelluponmyback,andtheviolenceoftheblowdeprivedmetotallyofmysensesfornearlyhalfanhour;however,whenIrecovered,judgeofmysurpriseatfindingoneofthoselargeanimalsIhavebeenjustdescribinghadturnedmeuponmyface,andwasjustlayingholdofthewaistbandofmybreeches,whichwerethennewandmadeofleather:hewascertainlygoingtocarrymefeetforemost,Godknowswhere,whenItookthisknife(showingalargeclaspknife)outofmyside—pocket,madeachopatoneofhishindfeet,andcutoffthreeofhistoes;heimmediatelyletmedropandroaredmosthorribly。Itookupmycarbineandfiredathimasheranoff;hefelldirectly。Thenoiseofthepiecerousedseveralthousandofthesewhitebears,whowereasleepupontheicewithinhalfamileofme;theycameimmediatelytothespot。Therewasnotimetobelost。Amostfortunatethoughtarrivedinmypericraniumjustatthatinstant。Itookofftheskinandheadofthedeadbearinhalfthetimethatsomepeoplewouldbeinskinningarabbit,andwrappedmyselfinit,placingmyownheaddirectlyunderBruin’s;thewholeherdcameroundmeimmediately,andmyapprehensionsthrewmeintoamostpiteoussituationtobesure:however,myschemeturnedoutamostadmirableoneformyownsafety。Theyallcamesmelling,andevidentlytookmeforabrotherBruin;Iwantednothingbutbulktomakeanexcellentcounterfeit:however,Isawseveralcubsamongstthemnotmuchlargerthanmyself。Aftertheyhadallsmeltme,andthebodyoftheirdeceasedcompanion,whoseskinwasnowbecomemyprotector,weseemedverysociable,andIfoundIcouldmimicalltheiractionstolerablywell;butatgrowling,roaring,andhuggingtheywerequitemymasters。IbegannowtothinkthatImightturnthegeneralconfidencewhichIhadcreatedamongsttheseanimalstomyadvantage。

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