第7章
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  XI

  THESCHOOLFORHYPOCRITES

  Thesearethefalseaccusations;theaccusationofclassicism,theaccusationofcruelty,andtheaccusationofanexclusivenessbasedonperfectionofpedigree。Englishpublic-schoolboysarenotpedants,theyarenottorturers;andtheyarenot,inthevastmajorityofcases,peoplefiercelyproudoftheirancestry,orevenpeoplewithanyancestrytobeproudof。Theyaretaughttobecourteous,tobegoodtempered,tobebraveinabodilysense,tobecleaninabodilysense;

  theyaregenerallykindtoanimals,generallyciviltoservants,andtoanyoneinanysensetheirequal,thejolliestcompanionsonearth。

  Istherethenanythingwronginthepublic-schoolideal?

  Ithinkweallfeelthereissomethingverywronginit,butablindingnetworkofnewspaperphraseologyobscuresandentanglesus;sothatitishardtotracetoitsbeginning,beyondallwordsandphrases。

  thefaultsinthisgreatEnglishachievement。

  Surely,whenallissaid,theultimateobjectiontotheEnglishpublicschoolisitsutterlyblatantandindecentdisregardofthedutyoftellingthetruth。IknowtheredoesstilllingeramongmaidenladiesinremotecountryhousesanotionthatEnglishschoolboysaretaughttotellthetruth,butitcannotbemaintainedseriouslyforamoment。Veryoccasionally,veryvaguely,Englishschoolboysaretoldnottotelllies,whichisatotallydifferentthing。Imaysilentlysupportalltheobscenefictionsandforgeriesintheuniverse,withoutoncetellingalie。Imaywearanotherman\'scoat,stealanotherman\'swit,apostatizetoanotherman\'screed,orpoisonanotherman\'scoffee,allwithoutevertellingalie。

  ButnoEnglishschool-boyisevertaughttotellthetruth,fortheverysimplereasonthatheisnevertaughttodesirethetruth。

  Fromtheveryfirstheistaughttobetotallycarelessaboutwhetherafactisafact;heistaughttocareonlywhetherthefactcanbeusedonhis\"side\"whenheisengagedin\"playingthegame。\"

  HetakessidesinhisUniondebatingsocietytosettlewhetherCharlesIoughttohavebeenkilled,withthesamesolemnandpompousfrivolitywithwhichhetakessidesinthecricketfieldtodecidewhetherRugbyorWestminstershallwin。

  Heisneverallowedtoadmittheabstractnotionofthetruth,thatthematchisamatterofwhatmayhappen,butthatCharlesI

  isamatterofwhatdidhappen——ordidnot。HeisLiberalorToryatthegeneralelectionexactlyasheisOxfordorCambridgeattheboatrace。Heknowsthatsportdealswiththeunknown;

  hehasnotevenanotionthatpoliticsshoulddealwiththeknown。

  Ifanyonereallydoubtsthisself-evidentproposition,thatthepublicschoolsdefinitelydiscouragetheloveoftruth,thereisonefactwhichIshouldthinkwouldsettlehim。

  EnglandisthecountryofthePartySystem,andithasalwaysbeenchieflyrunbypublic-schoolmen。IsthereanyoneoutofHanwellwhowillmaintainthatthePartySystem,whateveritsconveniencesorinconveniences,couldhavebeencreatedbypeopleparticularlyfondoftruth?

  TheveryEnglishhappinessonthispointisitselfahypocrisy。

  Whenamanreallytellsthetruth,thefirsttruthhetellsisthathehimselfisaliar。Davidsaidinhishaste,thatis,inhishonesty,thatallmenareliars。Itwasafterwards,insomeleisurelyofficialexplanation,thathesaidtheKingsofIsraelatleasttoldthetruth。

  WhenLordCurzonwasViceroyhedeliveredamorallecturetotheIndiansontheirreputedindifferencetoveracity,toactualityandintellectualhonor。Agreatmanypeopleindignantlydiscussedwhetherorientalsdeservedtoreceivethisrebuke;whetherIndianswereindeedinapositiontoreceivesuchsevereadmonition。

  Nooneseemedtoask,asIshouldventuretoask,whetherLordCurzonwasinapositiontogiveit。Heisanordinarypartypolitician;apartypoliticianmeansapoliticianwhomighthavebelongedtoeitherparty。

  Beingsuchaperson,hemustagainandagain,ateverytwistandturnofpartystrategy,eitherhavedeceivedothersorgrosslydeceivedhimself。

  IdonotknowtheEast;nordoIlikewhatIknow。IamquitereadytobelievethatwhenLordCurzonwentouthefoundaveryfalseatmosphere。

  IonlysayitmusthavebeensomethingstartlinglyandchokinglyfalseifitwasfalserthanthatEnglishatmospherefromwhichhecame。

  TheEnglishParliamentactuallycaresforeverythingexceptveracity。

  Thepublic-schoolmaniskind,courageous,polite,clean,companionable;

  but,inthemostawfulsenseofthewords,thetruthisnotinhim。

  ThisweaknessofuntruthfulnessintheEnglishpublicschools,intheEnglishpoliticalsystem,andtosomeextentintheEnglishcharacter,isaweaknesswhichnecessarilyproducesacuriouscropofsuperstitions,oflyinglegends,ofevidentdelusionsclungtothroughlowspiritualself-indulgence。Therearesomanyofthesepublic-schoolsuperstitionsthatIhavehereonlyspaceforoneofthem,whichmaybecalledthesuperstitionofsoap。

  ItappearstohavebeensharedbytheablutionaryPharisees,whoresembledtheEnglishpublic-schoolaristocratsinsomanyrespects:intheircareaboutclubrulesandtraditions,intheiroffensiveoptimismattheexpenseofotherpeople,andaboveallintheirunimaginativeploddingpatriotismintheworstinterestsoftheircountry。Nowtheoldhumancommonsenseaboutwashingisthatitisagreatpleasure。

  Water(appliedexternally)isasplendidthing,likewine。

  Sybaritesbatheinwine,andNonconformistsdrinkwater;

  butwearenotconcernedwiththesefranticexceptions。

  Washingbeingapleasure,itstandstoreasonthatrichpeoplecanafforditmorethanpoorpeople,andaslongasthiswasrecognizedallwaswell;anditwasveryrightthatrichpeopleshouldofferbathstopoorpeople,astheymightofferanyotheragreeablething——

  adrinkoradonkeyride。Butonedreadfulday,somewhereaboutthemiddleofthenineteenthcentury,somebodydiscovered(somebodyprettywelloff)thetwogreatmoderntruths,thatwashingisavirtueintherichandthereforeadutyinthepoor。Foradutyisavirtuethatonecan\'tdo。

  Andavirtueisgenerallyadutythatonecandoquiteeasily;

  likethebodilycleanlinessoftheupperclasses。

  Butinthepublic-schooltraditionofpubliclife,soaphasbecomecreditablesimplybecauseitispleasant。BathsarerepresentedasapartofthedecayoftheRomanEmpire;butthesamebathsarerepresentedaspartoftheenergyandrejuvenationoftheBritishEmpire。Therearedistinguishedpublicschoolmen,bishops,dons,headmasters,andhighpoliticians,who,inthecourseoftheeulogieswhichfromtimetotimetheypassuponthemselves,haveactuallyidentifiedphysicalcleanlinesswithmoralpurity。

  Theysay(ifIrememberrightly)thatapublic-schoolmaniscleaninsideandout。Asifeveryonedidnotknowthatwhilesaintscanaffordtobedirty,seducershavetobeclean。

  Asifeveryonedidnotknowthattheharlotmustbeclean,becauseitisherbusinesstocaptivate,whilethegoodwifemaybedirty,becauseitisherbusinesstoclean。

  AsifwedidnotallknowthatwheneverGod\'sthundercracksaboveus,itisverylikelyindeedtofindthesimplestmaninamuckcartandthemostcomplexblackguardinabath。

  Thereareotherinstances,ofcourse,ofthisoilytrickofturningthepleasuresofagentlemanintothevirtuesofanAnglo-Saxon。Sport,likesoap,isanadmirablething,but,likesoap,itisanagreeablething。Anditdoesnotsumupallmortalmeritstobeasportsmanplayingthegameinaworldwhereitissooftennecessarytobeaworkmandoingthework。

  Byallmeansletagentlemancongratulatehimselfthathehasnotlosthisnaturalloveofpleasure,asagainsttheblase,andunchildlike。Butwhenonehasthechildlikejoyitisbesttohavealsothechildlikeunconsciousness;andIdonotthinkweshouldhavespecialaffectionforthelittleboywhoeverlastinglyexplainedthatitwashisdutytoplayHideandSeekandoneofhisfamilyvirtuestobeprominentinPussintheCorner。

  Anothersuchirritatinghypocrisyistheoligarchicattitudetowardsmendicityasagainstorganizedcharity。Hereagain,asinthecaseofcleanlinessandofathletics,theattitudewouldbeperfectlyhumanandintelligibleifitwerenotmaintainedasamerit。

  Justastheobviousthingaboutsoapisthatitisaconvenience,sotheobviousthingaboutbeggarsisthattheyareaninconvenience。

  Therichwoulddeserveverylittleblameiftheysimplysaidthattheyneverdealtdirectlywithbeggars,becauseinmodernurbancivilizationitisimpossibletodealdirectlywithbeggars;

  orifnotimpossible,atleastverydifficult。Butthesepeopledonotrefusemoneytobeggarsonthegroundthatsuchcharityisdifficult。

  Theyrefuseitonthegrosslyhypocriticalgroundthatsuchcharityiseasy。Theysay,withthemostgrotesquegravity,\"Anyonecanputhishandinhispocketandgiveapoormanapenny;

  butwe,philanthropists,gohomeandbroodandtravailoverthepoorman\'stroublesuntilwehavediscoveredexactlywhatjail,reformatory,workhouse,orlunaticasylumitwillreallybebestforhimtogoto。\"Thisisallsheerlying。

  Theydonotbroodaboutthemanwhentheygethome,andiftheydiditwouldnotaltertheoriginalfactthattheirmotivefordiscouragingbeggarsistheperfectlyrationalonethatbeggarsareabother。Amanmayeasilybeforgivenfornotdoingthisorthatincidentalactofcharity,especiallywhenthequestionisasgenuinelydifficultasisthecaseofmendicity。

  ButthereissomethingquitepestilentlyPecksniffianaboutshrinkingfromahardtaskonthepleathatitisnothardenough。

  Ifanymanwillreallytrytalkingtothetenbeggarswhocometohisdoorhewillsoonfindoutwhetheritisreallysomucheasierthanthelaborofwritingacheckforahospital。

  ***

  XII

  THESTALENESSOFTHENEWSCHOOLS

  Forthisdeepanddisablingreasontherefore,itscynicalandabandonedindifferencetothetruth,theEnglishpublicschooldoesnotprovideuswiththeidealthatwerequire。

  Wecanonlyaskitsmoderncriticstorememberthatrightorwrongthethingcanbedone;thefactoryisworking,thewheelsaregoingaround,thegentlemenarebeingproduced,withtheirsoap,cricketandorganizedcharityallcomplete。

  Andinthis,aswehavesaidbefore,thepublicschoolreallyhasanadvantageoveralltheothereducationalschemesofourtime。

  Youcanpickoutapublic-schoolmaninanyofthemanycompaniesintowhichtheystray,fromaChineseopiumdentoaGermanJewishdinner-party。ButIdoubtifyoucouldtellwhichlittlematchgirlhadbeenbroughtupbyundenominationalreligionandwhichbyseculareducation。

  ThegreatEnglisharistocracywhichhasruledussincetheReformationisreally,inthissense,amodeltothemoderns。

  Itdidhaveanideal,andthereforeithasproducedareality。

  Wemayrepeatherethatthesepagesproposemainlytoshowonething:

  thatprogressoughttobebasedonprinciple,whileourmodernprogressismostlybasedonprecedent。Wego,notbywhatmaybeaffirmedintheory,butbywhathasbeenalreadyadmittedinpractice。

  ThatiswhytheJacobitesarethelastToriesinhistorywithwhomahigh-spiritedpersoncanhavemuchsympathy。

  Theywantedaspecificthing;theywerereadytogoforwardforit,andsotheywerealsoreadytogobackforit。

  ButmodernTorieshaveonlythedullnessofdefendingsituationsthattheyhadnottheexcitementofcreating。

  Revolutionistsmakeareform,Conservativesonlyconservethereform。

  Theyneverreformthereform,whichisoftenverymuchwanted。

  Justastherivalryofarmamentsisonlyasortofsulkyplagiarism,sotherivalryofpartiesisonlyasortofsulkyinheritance。

  Menhavevotes,sowomenmustsoonhavevotes;poorchildrenaretaughtbyforce,sotheymustsoonbefedbyforce;

  thepoliceshutpublichousesbytwelveo\'clock,sosoontheymustshutthembyeleveno\'clock;childrenstopatschooltilltheyarefourteen,sosoontheywillstoptilltheyareforty。

  Nogleamofreason,nomomentaryreturntofirstprinciples,noabstractaskingofanyobviousquestion,caninterruptthismadandmonotonousgallopofmereprogressbyprecedent。

  Itisagoodwaytopreventrealrevolution。

  Bythislogicofevents,theRadicalgetsasmuchintoarutastheConservative。Wemeetonehoaryoldlunaticwhosayshisgrandfathertoldhimtostandbyonestile。

  Wemeetanotherhoaryoldlunaticwhosayshisgrandfathertoldhimonlytowalkalongonelane。

  Isaywemayrepeatherethisprimarypartoftheargument,becausewehavejustnowcometotheplacewhereitismoststartlinglyandstronglyshown。Thefinalproofthatourelementaryschoolshavenodefiniteidealoftheirownisthefactthattheysoopenlyimitatetheidealsofthepublicschools。

  IntheelementaryschoolswehavealltheethicalprejudicesandexaggerationsofEtonandHarrowcarefullycopiedforpeopletowhomtheydonotevenroughlyapply。

  Wehavethesamewildlydisproportionatedoctrineoftheeffectofphysicalcleanlinessonmoralcharacter。

  Educatorsandeducationalpoliticiansdeclare,amidwarmcheers,thatcleanlinessisfarmoreimportantthanallthesquabblesaboutmoralandreligioustraining。Itwouldreallyseemthatsolongasalittleboywasheshishandsitdoesnotmatterwhetherheiswashingoffhismother\'sjamorhisbrother\'sgore。

  Wehavethesamegrosslyinsincerepretensethatsportalwaysencouragesasenseofhonor,whenweknowthatitoftenruinsit。

  Aboveall,wehavethesamegreatupperclassassumptionthatthingsaredonebestbylargeinstitutionshandlinglargesumsofmoneyandorderingeverybodyabout;andthattrivialandimpulsivecharityisinsomewaycontemptible。

  AsMr。Blatchfordsays,\"Theworlddoesnotwantpiety,butsoap——

  andSocialism。\"Pietyisoneofthepopularvirtues,whereassoapandSocialismaretwohobbiesoftheuppermiddleclass。

  These\"healthy\"ideals,astheyarecalled,whichourpoliticiansandschoolmastershaveborrowedfromthearistocraticschoolsandappliedtothedemocratic,arebynomeansparticularlyappropriatetoanimpoverisheddemocracy。Avagueadmirationfororganizedgovernmentandavaguedistrustofindividualaidcannotbemadetofitinatallintothelivesofpeopleamongwhomkindnessmeanslendingasaucepanandhonormeanskeepingoutoftheworkhouse。

  Itresolvesitselfeitherintodiscouragingthatsystemofpromptandpatchworkgenerositywhichisadailygloryofthepoor,orelseintohazyadvicetopeoplewhohavenomoneynottogiveitrecklesslyaway。Noristheexaggeratedgloryofathletics,defensibleenoughindealingwiththerichwho,iftheydidnotrompandrace,wouldeatanddrinkunwholesomely,byanymeanssomuchtothepointwhenappliedtopeople,mostofwhomwilltakeagreatdealofexerciseanyhow,withspadeorhammer,pickaxorsaw。

  Andforthethirdcase,ofwashing,itisobviousthatthesamesortofrhetoricaboutcorporealdaintinesswhichispropertoanornamentalclasscannot,merelyasitstands,beapplicabletoadustman。

  Agentlemanisexpectedtobesubstantiallyspotlessallthetime。

  Butitisnomorediscreditableforascavengertobedirtythanforadeep-seadivertobewet。AsweepisnomoredisgracedwhenheiscoveredwithsootthanMichaelAngelowhenheiscoveredwithclay,orBayardwhenheiscoveredwithblood。Norhavetheseextendersofthepublic-schooltraditiondoneorsuggestedanythingbywayofasubstituteforthepresentsnobbishsystemwhichmakescleanlinessalmostimpossibletothepoor;Imeanthegeneralritualoflinenandthewearingofthecast-offclothesoftherich。Onemanmovesintoanotherman\'sclothesashemovesintoanotherman\'shouse。

  Nowonderthatoureducationistsarenothorrifiedatamanpickingupthearistocrat\'ssecond-handtrousers,whentheythemselveshaveonlytakenupthearistocrat\'ssecond-handideas。

  ***

  XIII

  THEOUTLAWEDPARENT

  Thereisonethingatleastofwhichthereisneversomuchasawhisperinsidethepopularschools;andthatistheopinionofthepeopleTheonlypersonswhoseemtohavenothingtodowiththeeducationofthechildrenaretheparents。

  YettheEnglishpoorhaveverydefinitetraditionsinmanyways。

  Theyarehiddenunderembarrassmentandirony;andthosepsychologistswhohavedisentangledthemtalkofthemasverystrange,barbaricandsecretivethingsBut,asamatteroffact,thetraditionsofthepooraremostlysimplythetraditionsofhumanity,athingwhichmanyofushavenotseenforsometime。

  Forinstance,workingmenhaveatraditionthatifoneistalkingaboutavilethingitisbettertotalkofitincoarselanguage;

  oneisthelesslikelytobeseducedintoexcusingit。

  Butmankindhadthistraditionalso,untilthePuritansandtheirchildren,theIbsenites,startedtheoppositeidea,thatitdoesnotmatterwhatyousaysolongasyousayitwithlongwordsandalongface。Oragain,theeducatedclasseshavetabooedmostjestingaboutpersonalappearance;

  butindoingthistheytaboonotonlythehumoroftheslums,butmorethanhalfthehealthyliteratureoftheworld;theyputpolitenose-bagsonthenosesofPunchandBardolph,StigginsandCyranodeBergerac。Again,theeducatedclasseshaveadoptedahideousandheathencustomofconsideringdeathastoodreadfultotalkabout,andlettingitremainasecretforeachperson,likesomeprivatemalformation。Thepoor,onthecontrary,makeagreatgossipanddisplayaboutbereavement;andtheyareright。Theyhaveholdofatruthofpsychologywhichisatthebackofallthefuneralcustomsofthechildrenofmen。

  Thewaytolessensorrowistomakealotofit。Thewaytoendureapainfulcrisisistoinsistverymuchthatitisacrisis;

  topermitpeoplewhomustfeelsadatleasttofeelimportant。

  Inthisthepooraresimplythepriestsoftheuniversalcivilization;

  andintheirstuffyfeastsandsolemnchatteringthereisthesmellofthebakedmeatsofHamletandthedustandechoofthefuneralgamesofPatroclus。

  Thethingsphilanthropistsbarelyexcuse(ordonotexcuse)

  inthelifeofthelaboringclassesaresimplythethingswehavetoexcuseinallthegreatestmonumentsofman。ItmaybethatthelaborerisasgrossasShakespeareorasgarrulousasHomer;

  thatifheisreligioushetalksnearlyasmuchabouthellasDante;

  thatifheisworldlyhetalksnearlyasmuchaboutdrinkasDickens。NoristhepoormanwithouthistoricsupportifhethinkslessofthatceremonialwashingwhichChristdismissed,andrathermoreofthatceremonialdrinkingwhichChristspeciallysanctified。

  Theonlydifferencebetweenthepoormanofto-dayandthesaintsandheroesofhistoryisthatwhichinallclassesseparatesthecommonmanwhocanfeelthingsfromthegreatmanwhocanexpressthem。

  Whathefeelsismerelytheheritageofman。Nownobodyexpectsofcoursethatthecabmenandcoal-heaverscanbecompleteinstructorsoftheirchildrenanymorethanthesquiresandcolonelsandteamerchantsarecompleteinstructorsoftheirchildren。

  Theremustbeaneducationalspecialistinlocoparentis。

  ButthemasteratHarrowisinlocoparentis;themasterinHoxtonisrathercontraparentem。Thevaguepoliticsofthesquire,thevaguervirtuesofthecolonel,thesoulandspiritualyearningsofateamerchant,are,inveritablepractice,conveyedtothechildrenofthesepeopleattheEnglishpublicschools。

  ButIwishheretoaskaveryplainandemphaticquestion。

  Cananyonealiveevenpretendtopointoutanywayinwhichthesespecialvirtuesandtraditionsofthepoorarereproducedintheeducationofthepoor?Idonotwishthecoster\'sironytoappealascoarselyintheschoolasitdoesinthetaproom;butdoesitappearatall?

  Isthechildtaughttosympathizeatallwithhisfather\'sadmirablecheerfulnessandslang?Idonotexpectthepathetic,eagerpietasofthemother,withherfuneralclothesandfuneralbakedmeats,tobeexactlyimitatedintheeducationalsystem;

  buthasitanyinfluenceatallontheeducationalsystem?

  Doesanyelementaryschoolmasteraccorditevenaninstant\'sconsiderationorrespect?IdonotexpecttheschoolmastertohatehospitalsandC。O。S。centerssomuchastheschoolboy\'sfather;

  butdoeshehatethematall?Doeshesympathizeintheleastwiththepoorman\'spointofhonoragainstofficialinstitutions?

  Isitnotquitecertainthattheordinaryelementaryschoolmasterwillthinkitnotmerelynaturalbutsimplyconscientioustoeradicatealltheseruggedlegendsofalaboriouspeople,andonprincipletopreachsoapandSocialismagainstbeerandliberty?

  Inthelowerclassestheschoolmasterdoesnotworkfortheparent,butagainsttheparent。Moderneducationmeanshandingdownthecustomsoftheminority,androotingoutthecustomsofthemajority。

  InsteadoftheirChristlikecharity,theirShakespeareanlaughterandtheirhighHomericreverenceforthedead,thepoorhaveimposedonthemmerepedanticcopiesoftheprejudicesoftheremoterich。

  Theymustthinkabathroomanecessitybecausetotheluckyitisaluxury;theymustswingSwedishclubsbecausetheirmastersareafraidofEnglishcudgels;andtheymustgetovertheirprejudiceagainstbeingfedbytheparish,becausearistocratsfeelnoshameaboutbeingfedbythenation。

  ***

  XIV

  FOLLYANDFEMALEEDUCATION

  Itisthesameinthecaseofgirls。IamoftensolemnlyaskedwhatIthinkofthenewideasaboutfemaleeducation。

  Buttherearenonewideasaboutfemaleeducation。

  Thereisnot,thereneverhasbeen,eventhevestigeofanewidea。

  Alltheeducationalreformersdidwastoaskwhatwasbeingdonetoboysandthengoanddoittogirls;justastheyaskedwhatwasbeingtaughttoyoungsquiresandthentaughtittoyoungchimneysweeps。

  Whattheycallnewideasareveryoldideasinthewrongplace。

  Boysplayfootball,whyshouldn\'tgirlsplayfootball;

  boyshaveschoolcolors,whyshouldn\'tgirlshaveschool-colors;

  boysgoinhundredstoday-schools,whyshouldn\'tgirlsgoinhundredstoday-schools;boysgotoOxford,whyshouldn\'tgirlsgotoOxford——inshort,boysgrowmustaches,whyshouldn\'tgirlsgrowmustaches——thatisabouttheirnotionofanewidea。

  Thereisnobrain-workinthethingatall;norootqueryofwhatsexis,ofwhetheritaltersthisorthat,andwhy,anymorethanthereisanyimaginativegripofthehumorandheartofthepopulaceinthepopulareducation。

  Thereisnothingbutplodding,elaborate,elephantineimitation。

  Andjustasinthecaseofelementaryteaching,thecasesareofacoldandrecklessinappropriateness。Evenasavagecouldseethatbodilythings,atleast,whicharegoodforamanareverylikelytobebadforawoman。Yetthereisnoboy\'sgame,howeverbrutal,whichthesemildlunaticshavenotpromotedamonggirls。

  Totakeastrongercase,theygivegirlsveryheavyhome-work;

  neverreflectingthatallgirlshavehome-workalreadyintheirhomes。Itisallapartofthesamesillysubjugation;

  theremustbeahardstick-upcollarroundtheneckofawoman,becauseitisalreadyanuisanceroundtheneckofaman。

  ThoughaSaxonserf,ifheworethatcollarofcardboard,wouldaskforhiscollarofbrass。

  Itwillthenbeanswered,notwithoutasneer,\"Andwhatwouldyouprefer?WouldyougobacktotheelegantearlyVictorianfemale,withringletsandsmelling-bottle,doingalittleinwatercolors,dabblingalittleinItalian,playingalittleontheharp,writinginvulgaralbumsandpaintingonsenselessscreens?

  Doyoupreferthat?\"TowhichIanswer,\"Emphatically,yes。\"

  Isolidlypreferittothenewfemaleeducation,forthisreason,thatIcanseeinitanintellectualdesign,whilethereisnoneintheother。Iambynomeanssurethateveninpointofpracticalfactthatelegantfemalewouldnothavebeenmorethanamatchformostoftheinelegantfemales。

  IfancyJaneAustenwasstronger,sharperandshrewderthanCharlotteBronte;Iamquitecertainshewasstronger,sharperandshrewderthanGeorgeEliot。Shecoulddoonethingneitherofthemcoulddo:shecouldcoollyandsensiblydescribeaman。

  IamnotsurethattheoldgreatladywhocouldonlysmatterItalianwasnotmorevigorousthanthenewgreatladywhocanonlystammerAmerican;noramIcertainthatthebygoneduchesseswhowerescarcelysuccessfulwhentheypaintedMelroseAbbey,weresomuchmoreweak-mindedthanthemodernduchesseswhopaintonlytheirownfaces,andarebadatthat。

  Butthatisnotthepoint。Whatwasthetheory,whatwastheidea,intheirold,weakwater-colorsandtheirshakyItalian?Theideawasthesamewhichinaruderrankexpresseditselfinhome-madewinesandhereditaryrecipes;andwhichstill,inathousandunexpectedways,canbefoundclingingtothewomenofthepoor。

  ItwastheideaIurgedinthesecondpartofthisbook:

  thattheworldmustkeeponegreatamateur,lestweallbecomeartistsandperish。Somebodymustrenounceallspecialistconquests,thatshemayconqueralltheconquerors。Thatshemaybeaqueenoflife,shemustnotbeaprivatesoldierinit。IdonotthinktheelegantfemalewithherbadItalianwasaperfectproduct,anymorethanIthinktheslumwomantalkingginandfuneralsisaperfectproduct;alas!therearefewperfectproducts。

  Buttheycomefromacomprehensibleidea;andthenewwomancomesfromnothingandnowhere。Itisrighttohaveanideal,itisrighttohavetherightideal,andthesetwohavetherightideal。

  TheslummotherwithherfuneralsisthedegeneratedaughterofAntigone,theobstinatepriestessofthehouseholdgods。

  TheladytalkingbadItalianwasthedecayedtenthcousinofPortia,thegreatandgoldenItalianlady,theRenascenceamateuroflife,whocouldbeabarristerbecauseshecouldbeanything。

  Sunkenandneglectedintheseaofmodernmonotonyandimitation,thetypesholdtightlytotheiroriginaltruths。Antigone,ugly,dirtyandoftendrunken,willstillburyherfather。

  Theelegantfemale,vapidandfadingawaytonothing,stillfeelsfaintlythefundamentaldifferencebetweenherselfandherhusband:

  thathemustbeSomethingintheCity,thatshemaybeeverythinginthecountry。

  TherewasatimewhenyouandIandallofuswereallveryclosetoGod;

  sothatevennowthecolorofapebble(orapaint),thesmellofaflower(orafirework),comestoourheartswithakindofauthorityandcertainty;asiftheywerefragmentsofamuddledmessage,orfeaturesofaforgottenface。Topourthatfierysimplicityuponthewholeoflifeistheonlyrealaimofeducation;

  andclosesttothechildcomesthewoman——sheunderstands。

  Tosaywhatsheunderstandsisbeyondme;saveonlythis,thatitisnotasolemnity。Ratheritisatoweringlevity,anuproariousamateurishnessoftheuniverse,suchaswefeltwhenwewerelittle,andwouldassoonsingasgarden,assoonpaintasrun。Tosmatterthetonguesofmenandangels,todabbleinthedreadfulsciences,tojugglewithpillarsandpyramidsandtossuptheplanetslikeballs,thisisthatinneraudacityandindifferencewhichthehumansoul,likeaconjurercatchingoranges,mustkeepupforever。

  Thisisthatinsanelyfrivolousthingwecallsanity。

  Andtheelegantfemale,droopingherringletsoverherwater-colors,knewitandactedonit。Shewasjugglingwithfranticandflamingsuns。

  Shewasmaintainingtheboldequilibriumofinferioritieswhichisthemostmysteriousofsuperioritiesandperhapsthemostunattainable。

  Shewasmaintainingtheprimetruthofwoman,theuniversalmother:

  thatifathingisworthdoing,itisworthdoingbadly。

  ***

  PARTFIVE

  THEHOMEOFMAN

  ***

  I

  THEEMPIREOFTHEINSECT

  AcultivatedConservativefriendofmineonceexhibitedgreatdistressbecauseinagaymomentIoncecalledEdmundBurkeanatheist。Ineedscarcelysaythattheremarklackedsomethingofbiographicalprecision;itwasmeantto。

  Burkewascertainlynotanatheistinhisconsciouscosmictheory,thoughhehadnotaspecialandflamingfaithinGod,likeRobespierre。Nevertheless,theremarkhadreferencetoatruthwhichitishererelevanttorepeat。ImeanthatinthequarrelovertheFrenchRevolution,Burkedidstandfortheatheisticattitudeandmodeofargument,asRobespierrestoodforthetheistic。

  TheRevolutionappealedtotheideaofanabstractandeternaljustice,beyondalllocalcustomorconvenience。

  IftherearecommandsofGod,thentheremustberightsofman。

  HereBurkemadehisbrilliantdiversion;hedidnotattacktheRobespierredoctrinewiththeoldmediaevaldoctrineofjusdivinum(which,liketheRobespierredoctrine,wastheistic),heattackeditwiththemodernargumentofscientificrelativity;

  inshort,theargumentofevolution。Hesuggestedthathumanitywaseverywheremoldedbyorfittedtoitsenvironmentandinstitutions;infact,thateachpeoplepracticallygot,notonlythetyrantitdeserved,butthetyrantitoughttohave。

  \"Iknownothingoftherightsofmen,\"hesaid,\"butIknowsomethingoftherightsofEnglishmen。\"Thereyouhavetheessentialatheist。

  Hisargumentisthatwehavegotsomeprotectionbynaturalaccidentandgrowth;andwhyshouldweprofesstothinkbeyondit,foralltheworldasifweweretheimagesofGod!WearebornunderaHouseofLords,asbirdsunderahouseofleaves;

  weliveunderamonarchyasniggersliveunderatropicsun;

  itisnottheirfaultiftheyareslaves,anditisnotoursifwearesnobs。Thus,longbeforeDarwinstruckhisgreatblowatdemocracy,theessentialoftheDarwinianargumenthadbeenalreadyurgedagainsttheFrenchRevolution。Man,saidBurkeineffect,mustadapthimselftoeverything,likeananimal;

  hemustnottrytoaltereverything,likeanangel。

  Thelastweakcryofthepious,pretty,half-artificialoptimismanddeismoftheeighteenthcenturycarneinthevoiceofSterne,saying,\"Godtempersthewindtotheshornlamb。\"

  AndBurke,theironevolutionist,essentiallyanswered,\"No;Godtemperstheshornlambtothewind。\"Itisthelambthathastoadapthimself。Thatis,heeitherdiesorbecomesaparticularkindoflambwholikesstandinginadraught。

  ThesubconsciouspopularinstinctagainstDarwinismwasnotamereoffenseatthegrotesquenotionofvisitingone\'sgrandfatherinacageintheRegent\'sPark。Mengoinfordrink,practicaljokesandmanyothergrotesquethings;theydonotmuchmindmakingbeastsofthemselves,andwouldnotmuchmindhavingbeastsmadeoftheirforefathers。

  Therealinstinctwasmuchdeeperandmuchmorevaluable。

  Itwasthis:thatwhenonceonebeginstothinkofmanasashiftingandalterablething,itisalwayseasyforthestrongandcraftytotwisthimintonewshapesforallkindsofunnaturalpurposes。

  thepopularinstinctseesinsuchdevelopmentsthepossibilityofbacksbowedandhunch-backedfortheirburden,orlimbstwistedfortheirtask。Ithasaverywell-groundedguessthatwhateverisdoneswiftlyandsystematicallywillmostlybedonebeasuccessfulclassandalmostsolelyintheirinterests。

  Ithasthereforeavisionofinhumanhybridsandhalf-humanexperimentsmuchinthestyleofMr。Wells\'s\"IslandofDr。Moreau。\"Therichmanmaycometobreedingatribeofdwarfstobehisjockeys,andatribeofgiantstobehishall-porters。Groomsmightbebornbow-leggedandtailorsborncross-legged;perfumersmighthavelong,largenosesandacrouchingattitude,likehoundsofscent;

  andprofessionalwine-tastersmighthavethehorribleexpressionofonetastingwinestampedupontheirfacesasinfants。

  Whateverwildimageoneemploysitcannotkeeppacewiththepanicofthehumanfancy,whenonceitsupposesthatthefixedtypecalledmancouldbechanged。Ifsomemillionairewantedarms,someportermustgrowtenarmslikeanoctopus;ifhewantslegs,somemessenger-boymustgowithahundredtrottinglegslikeacentipede。

  Inthedistortedmirrorofhypothesis,thatis,oftheunknown,mencandimlyseesuchmonstrousandevilshapes;menrunalltoeye,oralltofingers,withnothingleftbutonenostriloroneear。

  Thatisthenightmarewithwhichthemerenotionofadaptationthreatensus。Thatisthenightmarethatisnotsoveryfarfromthereality。

  Itwillbesaidthatnotthewildestevolutionistreallyasksthatweshouldbecomeinanywayunhumanorcopyanyotheranimal。

  Pardonme,thatisexactlywhatnotmerelythewildestevolutionistsurge,butsomeofthetamestevolutioniststoo。

  Therehasrisenhighinrecenthistoryanimportantcultuswhichbidsfairtobethereligionofthefuture——whichmeansthereligionofthosefewweak-mindedpeoplewholiveinthefuture。Itistypicalofourtimethatithastolookforitsgodthroughamicroscope;

  andourtimehasmarkedadefiniteadorationoftheinsect。

  Likemostthingswecallnew,ofcourse,itisnotatallnewasanidea;

  itisonlynewasanidolatry。VirgiltakesbeesseriouslybutIdoubtifhewouldhavekeptbeesascarefullyashewroteaboutthem。Thewisekingtoldthesluggardtowatchtheant,acharmingoccupation——forasluggard。Butinourowntimehasappearedaverydifferenttone,andmorethanonegreatman,aswellasnumberlessintelligentmen,haveinourtimeseriouslysuggestedthatweshouldstudytheinsectbecausewearehisinferiors。

  Theoldmoralistsmerelytookthevirtuesofmananddistributedthemquitedecorativelyandarbitrarilyamongtheanimals。

  Theantwasanalmostheraldicsymbolofindustry,asthelionwasofcourage,or,forthematterofthat,thepelicanofcharity。

  Butifthemediaevalshadbeenconvincedthatalionwasnotcourageous,theywouldhavedroppedthelionandkeptthecourage;ifthepelicanisnotcharitable,theywouldsay,somuchtheworseforthepelican。

  Theoldmoralists,Isay,permittedtheanttoenforceandtypifyman\'smorality;theyneverallowedtheanttoupsetit。

  Theyusedtheantforindustryasthelarkforpunctuality;

  theylookedupattheflappingbirdsanddownatthecrawlinginsectsforahomelylesson。Butwehavelivedtoseeasectthatdoesnotlookdownattheinsects,butlooksupattheinsects,thatasksusessentiallytobowdownandworshipbeetles,likeancientEgyptians。

  MauriceMaeterlinckisamanofunmistakablegenius,andgeniusalwayscarriesamagnifyingglass。Intheterriblecrystalofhislenswehaveseenthebeesnotasalittleyellowswarm,butratheringoldenarmiesandhierarchiesofwarriorsandqueens。

  Imaginationperpetuallypeersandcreepsfurtherdowntheavenuesandvistasinthetubesofscience,andonefancieseveryfranticreversalofproportions;theearwigstridingacrosstheechoingplainlikeanelephant,orthegrasshoppercomingroaringaboveourroofslikeavastaeroplane,asheleapsfromHertfordshiretoSurrey。Oneseemstoenterinadreamatempleofenormousentomology,whosearchitectureisbasedonsomethingwilderthanarmsorbackbones;inwhichtheribbedcolumnshavethehalf-crawlinglookofdimandmonstrouscaterpillars;

  orthedomeisastarryspiderhunghorriblyinthevoid。

  Thereisoneofthemodernworksofengineeringthatgivesonesomethingofthisnamelessfearoftheexaggerationsofanunderworld;

  andthatisthecuriouscurvedarchitectureoftheundergroundrailway,commonlycalledtheTwopennyTube。Thosesquatarchways,withoutanyuprightlineorpillar,lookasiftheyhadbeentunneledbyhugewormswhohaveneverlearnedtolifttheirheadsItistheveryundergroundpalaceoftheSerpent,thespiritofchangingshapeandcolor,thatistheenemyofman。

  ButitisnotmerelybysuchstrangeaestheticsuggestionsthatwriterslikeMaeterlinckhaveinfluencedusinthematter;

  thereisalsoanethicalsidetothebusiness。

  TheupshotofM。Maeterlinck\'sbookonbeesisanadmiration,onemightalsosayanenvy,oftheircollectivespirituality;

  ofthefactthattheyliveonlyforsomethingwhichhecallstheSouloftheHive。Andthisadmirationforthecommunalmoralityofinsectsisexpressedinmanyothermodernwritersinvariousquartersandshapes;inMr。BenjaminKidd\'stheoryoflivingonlyfortheevolutionaryfutureofourrace,andinthegreatinterestofsomeSocialistsinants,whichtheygenerallyprefertobees,Isuppose,becausetheyarenotsobrightlycolored。

  NotleastamongthehundredevidencesofthisvagueinsectolatryarethefloodsofflatterypouredbymodernpeopleonthatenergeticnationoftheFarEastofwhichithasbeensaidthat\"Patriotismisitsonlyreligion\";or,inotherwords,thatitlivesonlyfortheSouloftheHive。WhenatlongintervalsofthecenturiesChristendomgrowsweak,morbidorskeptical,andmysteriousAsiabeginstomoveagainstusherdimpopulationsandtopourthemwestwardlikeadarkmovementofmatter,insuchcasesithasbeenverycommontocomparetheinvasiontoaplagueofliceorincessantarmiesoflocusts。

  TheEasternarmieswereindeedlikeinsects;intheirblind,busydestructiveness,intheirblacknihilismofpersonaloutlook,intheirhatefulindifferencetoindividuallifeandlove,intheirbasebeliefinmerenumbers,intheirpessimisticcourageandtheiratheisticpatriotism,theridersandraidersoftheEastareindeedlikeallthecreepingthingsoftheearth。

  Butneverbefore,Ithink,haveChristianscalledaTurkalocustandmeantitasacompliment。Nowforthefirsttimeweworshipaswellasfear;andtracewithadorationthatenormousformadvancingvastandvagueoutofAsia,faintlydiscernibleamidthemysticcloudsofwingedcreatureshungoverthewastedlands,throngingtheskieslikethunderanddiscoloringtheskieslikerain;Beelzebub,theLordofFlies。

  InresistingthishorribletheoryoftheSouloftheHive,weofChristendomstandnotforourselves,butforallhumanity;

  fortheessentialanddistinctivehumanideathatonegoodandhappymanisanendinhimself,thatasoulisworthsaving。

  Nay,forthosewholikesuchbiologicalfanciesitmightwellbesaidthatwestandaschiefsandchampionsofawholesectionofnature,princesofthehousewhosecognizanceisthebackbone,standingforthemilkoftheindividualmotherandthecourageofthewanderingcub,representingthepatheticchivalryofthedog,thehumorandperversityofcats,theaffectionofthetranquilhorse,thelonelinessofthelion。Itismoretothepoint,however,tourgethatthismereglorificationofsocietyasitisinthesocialinsectsisatransformationandadissolutioninoneoftheoutlineswhichhavebeenspeciallythesymbolsofman。

  Inthecloudandconfusionofthefliesandbeesisgrowingfainterandfainter,asisfinallydisappearing,theideaofthehumanfamily。

  Thehivehasbecomelargerthanthehouse,thebeesaredestroyingtheircaptors;whatthelocusthathleft,thecaterpillarhatheaten;

  andthelittlehouseandgardenofourfriendJonesisinabadway。

  ***

  II

  THEFALLACYOFTHEUMBRELLASTAND

  WhenLordMorleysaidthattheHouseofLordsmustbeeithermendedorended,heusedaphrasewhichhascausedsomeconfusion;

  becauseitmightseemtosuggestthatmendingandendingaresomewhatsimilarthings。Iwishspeciallytoinsistonthefactthatmendingandendingareoppositethings。Youmendathingbecauseyoulikeit;

  youendathingbecauseyoudon\'t。Tomendistostrengthen。

  I,forinstance,disbelieveinoligarchy;solwouldnomoremendtheHouseofLordsthanIwouldmendathumbscrew。Ontheotherhand,Idobelieveinthefamily;thereforeIwouldmendthefamilyasIwouldmendachair;andIwillneverdenyforamomentthatthemodernfamilyisachairthatwantsmending。Butherecomesintheessentialpointaboutthemassofmodernadvancedsociologists。

  Herearetwoinstitutionsthathavealwaysbeenfundamentalwithmankind,thefamilyandthestate。Anarchists,Ibelieve,disbelieveinboth。

  ItisquiteunfairtosaythatSocialistsbelieveinthestate,butdonotbelieveinthefamily;thousandsofSocialistsbelievemoreinthefamilythananyTory。Butitistruetosaythatwhileanarchistswouldendboth,Socialistsarespeciallyengagedinmending(thatis,strengtheningandrenewing)thestate;andtheyarenotspeciallyengagedinstrengtheningandrenewingthefamily。

  Theyarenotdoinganythingtodefinethefunctionsoffather,mother,andchild,assuch;theyarenottighteningthemachineupagain;

  theyarenotblackeninginagainthefadinglinesoftheolddrawing。

  Withthestatetheyaredoingthis;theyaresharpeningitsmachinery,theyareblackeninginitsblackdogmaticlines,theyaremakingmeregovernmentineverywaystrongerandinsomewaysharsherthanbefore。

  Whiletheyleavethehomeinruins,theyrestorethehive,especiallythestings。Indeed,someschemesoflaborandPoorLawreformrecentlyadvancedbydistinguishedSocialists,amounttolittlemorethanputtingthelargestnumberofpeopleinthedespoticpowerofMr。Bumble。Apparently,progressmeansbeingmovedon——

  bythepolice。

  Thepointitismypurposetourgemightperhapsbesuggestedthus:

  thatSocialistsandmostsocialreformersoftheircolorarevividlyconsciousofthelinebetweenthekindofthingsthatbelongtothestateandthekindofthingsthatbelongtomerechaosoruncoerciblenature;

  theymayforcechildrentogotoschoolbeforethesunrises,buttheywillnottrytoforcethesuntorise;theywillnot,likeCanute,banishthesea,butonlythesea-bathers。Butinsidetheoutlineofthestatetheirlinesareconfused,andentitiesmeltintoeachother。

  Theyhavenofirminstinctivesenseofonethingbeinginitsnatureprivateandanotherpublic,ofonethingbeingnecessarilybondandanotherfree。Thatiswhypiecebypiece,andquitesilently,personallibertyisbeingstolenfromEnglishmen,aspersonallandhasbeensilentlystoleneversincethesixteenthcentury。

  Icanonlyputitsufficientlycurtlyinacarelesssimile。

  ASocialistmeansamanwhothinksawalking-sticklikeanumbrellabecausetheybothgointotheumbrella-stand。

  Yettheyareasdifferentasabattle-axandabootjack。

  Theessentialideaofanumbrellaisbreadthandprotection。

  Theessentialideaofastickisslendernessand,partly,attack。

  Thestickisthesword,theumbrellaistheshield,butitisashieldagainstanotherandmorenamelessenemy——

  thehostilebutanonymousuniverse。Moreproperly,therefore,theumbrellaistheroof;itisakindofcollapsiblehouse。

  Butthevitaldifferencegoesfardeeperthanthis;itbranchesoffintotwokingdomsofman\'smind,withachasmbetween。

  Forthepointisthis:thattheumbrellaisashieldagainstanenemysoactualastobeamerenuisance;

  whereasthestickisaswordagainstenemiessoentirelyimaginaryastobeapurepleasure。Thestickisnotmerelyasword,butacourtsword;itisathingofpurelyceremonialswagger。

  Onecannotexpresstheemotioninanywayexceptbysayingthatamanfeelsmorelikeamanwithastickinhishand,justashefeelsmorelikeamanwithaswordathisside。

  Butnobodyeverhadanyswellingsentimentsaboutanumbrella;

  itisaconvenience,likeadoorscraper。Anumbrellaisanecessaryevil。Awalking-stickisaquiteunnecessarygood。

  This,Ifancy,istherealexplanationoftheperpetuallosingofumbrellas;onedoesnothearofpeoplelosingwalkingsticks。

  Forawalking-stickisapleasure,apieceofrealpersonalproperty;itismissedevenwhenitisnotneeded。

  Whenmyrighthandforgetsitsstickmayitforgetitscunning。

  Butanybodymayforgetanumbrella,asanybodymightforgetashedthathehasstoodupinoutoftherain。

  Anybodycanforgetanecessarything。

  IfImightpursuethefigureofspeech,ImightbrieflysaythatthewholeCollectivisterrorconsistsinsayingthatbecausetwomencanshareanumbrella,thereforetwomencanshareawalking-stick。Umbrellasmightpossiblybereplacedbysomekindofcommonawningscoveringcertainstreetsfromparticularshowers。

  Butthereisnothingbutnonsenseinthenotionofswingingacommunalstick;itisasifonespokeoftwirlingacommunalmustache。

  Itwillbesaidthatthisisafrankfantasiaandthatnosociologistssuggestsuchfollies。Pardonmeiftheydo。Iwillgiveapreciseparalleltothecaseofconfusionofsticksandumbrellas,aparallelfromaperpetuallyreiteratedsuggestionofreform。

  AtleastsixtySocialistsoutofahundred,whentheyhavespokenofcommonlaundries,willgoonatoncetospeakofcommonkitchens。

  ThisisjustasmechanicalandunintelligentasthefancifulcaseIhavequoted。Sticksandumbrellasarebothstiffrodsthatgointoholesinastandinthehall。Kitchensandwashhousesarebothlargeroomsfullofheatanddampandsteam。

  Butthesoulandfunctionofthetwothingsareutterlyopposite。

  Thereisonlyonewayofwashingashirt;thatis,thereisonlyonerightway。Thereisnotasteandfancyintatteredshirts。

  Nobodysays,\"Tompkinslikesfiveholesinhisshirt,butI

  mustsay,givemethegoodoldfourholes。\"Nobodysays,\"Thiswasherwomanripsuptheleftlegofmypyjamas;nowifthereisonethingIinsistonitistherightlegrippedup。\"

  Theidealwashingissimplytosendathingbackwashed。

  Butitisbynomeanstruethattheidealcookingissimplytosendathingbackcooked。Cookingisanart;ithasinitpersonality,andevenperversity,forthedefinitionofanartisthatwhichmustbepersonalandmaybeperverse。

  Iknowaman,nototherwisedainty,whocannottouchcommonsausagesunlesstheyarealmostburnedtoacoal。

  Hewantshissausagesfriedtorags,yethedoesnotinsistonhisshirtsbeingboiledtorags。Idonotsaythatsuchpointsofculinarydelicacyareofhighimportance。

  Idonotsaythatthecommunalidealmustgivewaytothem。

  WhatIsayisthatthecommunalidealisnotconsciousoftheirexistence,andthereforegoeswrongfromtheverystart,mixingawhollypublicthingwithahighlyindividualone。

  Perhapsweoughttoacceptcommunalkitchensinthesocialcrisis,justasweshouldacceptcommunalcat\'s-meatinasiege。

  ButtheculturedSocialist,quiteathisease,bynomeansinasiege,talksaboutcommunalkitchensasiftheywerethesamekindofthingascommunallaundries。

  Thisshowsatthestartthathemisunderstandshumannature。

  Itisasdifferentasthreemensingingthesamechorusfromthreemenplayingthreetunesonthesamepiano。

  III

  THEDREADFULDUTYOFGUDGE

  InthequarrelearlieralludedtobetweentheenergeticProgressiveandtheobstinateConservative(or,totalkatendererlanguage,betweenHudgeandGudge),thestateofcross-purposesisatthepresentmomentacute。TheTorysayshewantstopreservefamilylifeinCindertown;theSocialistveryreasonablypointsouttohimthatinCindertownatpresentthereisn\'tanyfamilylifetopreserve。

  ButHudge,theSocialist,inhisturn,ishighlyvagueandmysteriousaboutwhetherhewouldpreservethefamilylifeiftherewereany;

  orwhetherhewilltrytorestoreitwhereithasdisappeared。

  Itisallveryconfusing。TheTorysometimestalksasifhewantedtotightenthedomesticbondsthatdonotexist;theSocialistasifhewantedtoloosenthebondsthatdonotbindanybody。

  Thequestionweallwanttoaskofbothofthemistheoriginalidealquestion,\"Doyouwanttokeepthefamilyatall?\"IfHudge,theSocialist,doeswantthefamilyhemustbepreparedforthenaturalrestraints,distinctionsanddivisionsoflaborinthefamily。

  Hemustbracehimselfuptobeartheideaofthewomanhavingapreferencefortheprivatehouseandamanforthepublichouse。

  Hemustmanagetoenduresomehowtheideaofawomanbeingwomanly,whichdoesnotmeansoftandyielding,buthandy,thrifty,ratherhard,andveryhumorous。Hemustconfrontwithoutaquiverthenotionofachildwhoshallbechildish,thatis,fullofenergy,butwithoutanideaofindependence;fundamentallyaseagerforauthorityasforinformationandbutter-scotch。Ifaman,awomanandachildlivetogetheranymoreinfreeandsovereignhouseholds,theseancientrelationswillrecur;andHudgemustputupwithit。

  Hecanonlyavoiditbydestroyingthefamily,drivingbothsexesintosexlesshivesandhordes,andbringingupallchildrenasthechildrenofthestate——likeOliverTwist。ButifthesesternwordsmustbeaddressedtoHudge,neithershallGudgeescapeasomewhatsevereadmonition。

  FortheplaintruthtobetoldprettysharplytotheToryisthis,thatifhewantsthefamilytoremain,ifhewantstobestrongenoughtoresisttherendingforcesofouressentiallysavagecommerce,hemustmakesomeverybigsacrificesandtrytoequalizeproperty。

  TheoverwhelmingmassoftheEnglishpeopleatthisparticularinstantaresimplytoopoortobedomestic。Theyareasdomesticastheycanmanage;theyaremuchmoredomesticthanthegoverningclass;

  buttheycannotgetwhatgoodtherewasoriginallymeanttobeinthisinstitution,simplybecausetheyhavenotgotenoughmoney。

  Themanoughttostandforacertainmagnanimity,quitelawfullyexpressedinthrowingmoneyaway:butifundergivencircumstanceshecanonlydoitbythrowingtheweek\'sfoodaway,thenheisnotmagnanimous,butmean。Thewomanoughttostandforacertainwisdomwhichiswellexpressedinvaluingthingsrightlyandguardingmoneysensibly;

  buthowisshetoguardmoneyifthereisnomoneytoguard?

  Thechildoughttolookonhismotherasafountainofnaturalfunandpoetry;buthowcanheunlessthefountain,likeotherfountains,isallowedtoplay?Whatchancehaveanyoftheseancientartsandfunctionsinahousesohideouslytopsy-turvy;ahousewherethewomanisoutworkingandthemanisn\'t;andthechildisforcedbylawtothinkhisschoolmaster\'srequirementsmoreimportantthanhismother\'s?No,GudgeandhisfriendsintheHouseofLordsandtheCarltonClubmustmakeuptheirmindsonthismatter,andthatveryquickly。IftheyarecontenttohaveEnglandturnedintoabeehiveandanant-hill,decoratedhereandtherewithafewfadedbutterfliesplayingatanoldgamecalleddomesticityintheintervalsofthedivorcecourt,thenletthemhavetheirempireofinsects;

  theywillfindplentyofSocialistswhowillgiveittothem。

  ButiftheywantadomesticEngland,theymust\"shellout,\"

  asthephrasegoes,toavastlygreaterextentthananyRadicalpoliticianhasyetdaredtosuggest;theymustendureburdensmuchheavierthantheBudgetandstrokesmuchdeadlierthanthedeathduties;

  forthethingtobedoneisnothingmorenorlessthanthedistributionofthegreatfortunesandthegreatestates。WecannowonlyavoidSocialismbyachangeasvastasSocialism。Ifwearetosaveproperty,wemustdistributeproperty,almostassternlyandsweepinglyasdidtheFrenchRevolution。Ifwearetopreservethefamilywemustrevolutionizethenation。

  ***

  IV

  ALASTINSTANCE

  Andnow,asthisbookisdrawingtoaclose,Iwillwhisperinthereader\'searahorriblesuspicionthathassometimeshauntedme:

  thesuspicionthatHudgeandGudgearesecretlyinpartnership。

  Thatthequarreltheykeepupinpublicisverymuchofaput-upjob,andthatthewayinwhichtheyperpetuallyplayintoeachother\'shandsisnotaneverlastingcoincidence。Gudge,theplutocrat,wantsananarchicindustrialism;Hudge,theidealist,provideshimwithlyricpraisesofanarchy。Gudgewantswomen-workersbecausetheyarecheaper;

  Hudgecallsthewoman\'swork\"freedomtoliveherownlife。\"

  Gudgewantssteadyandobedientworkmen,Hudgepreachesteetotalism——

  toworkmen,nottoGudge——Gudgewantsatameandtimidpopulationwhowillnevertakearmsagainsttyranny;HudgeprovesfromTolstoithatnobodymusttakearmsagainstanything。Gudgeisnaturallyahealthyandwell-washedgentleman;HudgeearnestlypreachestheperfectionofGudge\'swashingtopeoplewhocan\'tpracticeit。

  Aboveall,Gudgerulesbyacoarseandcruelsystemofsackingandsweatingandbi-sexualtoilwhichistotallyinconsistentwiththefreefamilyandwhichisboundtodestroyit;thereforeHudge,stretchingouthisarmstotheuniversewithapropheticsmile,tellsusthatthefamilyissomethingthatweshallsoongloriouslyoutgrow。

  IdonotknowwhetherthepartnershipofHudgeandGudgeisconsciousorunconscious。Ionlyknowthatbetweenthemtheystillkeepthecommonmanhomeless。IonlyknowIstillmeetJoneswalkingthestreetsinthegraytwilight,lookingsadlyatthepolesandbarriersandlowredgoblinlanternswhichstillguardthehousewhichisnonethelesshisbecausehehasneverbeeninit。

  ***

  V

  CONCLUSION

  Here,itmaybesaid,mybookendsjustwhereitoughttobegin。

  IhavesaidthatthestrongcentersofmodernEnglishpropertymustswiftlyorslowlybebrokenup,ifeventheideaofpropertyistoremainamongEnglishmen。Therearetwowaysinwhichitcouldbedone,acoldadministrationbyquitedetachedofficials,whichiscalledCollectivism,orapersonaldistribution,soastoproducewhatiscalledPeasantProprietorship。Ithinkthelattersolutionthefinerandmorefullyhuman,becauseitmakeseachmanassomebodyblamedsomebodyforsayingofthePope,asortofsmallgod。Amanonhisownturftasteseternityor,inotherwords,willgivetenminutesmoreworkthanisrequired。

  ButIbelieveIamjustifiedinshuttingthedooronthisvistaofargument,insteadofopeningit。ForthisbookisnotdesignedtoprovethecaseforPeasantProprietorship,buttoprovethecaseagainstmodernsageswhoturnreformtoaroutine。

  Thewholeofthisbookhasbeenaramblingandelaborateurgingofonepurelyethicalfact。Andifbyanychanceitshouldhappenthattherearestillsomewhodonotquiteseewhatthatpointis,Iwillendwithoneplainparable,whichisnonetheworseforbeingalsoafact。

  Alittlewhileagocertaindoctorsandotherpersonspermittedbymodernlawtodictatetotheirshabbierfellow-citizens,sentoutanorderthatalllittlegirlsshouldhavetheirhaircutshort。

  Imean,ofcourse,alllittlegirlswhoseparentswerepoor。

  Manyveryunhealthyhabitsarecommonamongrichlittlegirls,butitwillbelongbeforeanydoctorsinterfereforciblywiththem。

  Now,thecaseforthisparticularinterferencewasthis,thatthepoorarepresseddownfromaboveintosuchstinkingandsuffocatingunderworldsofsqualor,thatpoorpeoplemustnotbeallowedtohavehair,becauseintheircaseitmustmeanliceinthehair。Therefore,thedoctorsproposetoabolishthehair。

  Itneverseemstohaveoccurredtothemtoabolishthelice。

  Yetitcouldbedone。Asiscommoninmostmoderndiscussionstheunmentionablethingisthepivotofthewholediscussion。

  ItisobvioustoanyChristianman(thatis,toanymanwithafreesoul)thatanycoercionappliedtoacabman\'sdaughterought,ifpossible,tobeappliedtoaCabinetMinister\'sdaughter。

  Iwillnotaskwhythedoctorsdonot,asamatteroffactapplytheirruletoaCabinetMinister\'sdaughter。

  Iwillnotask,becauseIknow。Theydonotbecausetheydarenot。

  Butwhatistheexcusetheywouldurge,whatistheplausibleargumenttheywoulduse,forthuscuttingandclippingpoorchildrenandnotrich?Theirargumentwouldbethatthediseaseismorelikelytobeinthehairofpoorpeoplethanofrich。Andwhy?

  Becausethepoorchildrenareforced(againstalltheinstinctsofthehighlydomesticworkingclasses)tocrowdtogetherincloseroomsunderawildlyinefficientsystemofpublicinstruction;

  andbecauseinoneoutofthefortychildrentheremaybeoffense。

  Andwhy?Becausethepoormanissogrounddownbythegreatrentsofthegreatgroundlandlordsthathiswifeoftenhastoworkaswellashe。Thereforeshehasnotimetolookafterthechildren,thereforeoneinfortyofthemisdirty。

  Becausetheworkingmanhasthesetwopersonsontopofhim,thelandlordsitting(literally)onhisstomach,andtheschoolmastersitting(literally)onhishead,theworkingmanmustallowhislittlegirl\'shair,firsttobeneglectedfrompoverty,nexttobepoisonedbypromiscuity,and,lastly,tobeabolishedbyhygiene。He,perhaps,wasproudofhislittlegirl\'shair。

  Buthedoesnotcount。

  Uponthissimpleprinciple(orratherprecedent)thesociologicaldoctordrivesgaylyahead。Whenacrapuloustyrannycrushesmendownintothedirt,sothattheirveryhairisdirty,thescientificcourseisclear。Itwouldbelongandlaborioustocutofftheheadsofthetyrants;itiseasiertocutoffthehairoftheslaves。

  Inthesameway,ifitshouldeverhappenthatpoorchildren,screamingwithtoothache,disturbedanyschoolmasterorartisticgentleman,itwouldbeeasytopulloutalltheteethofthepoor;

  iftheirnailsweredisgustinglydirty,theirnailscouldbepluckedout;iftheirnoseswereindecentlyblown,theirnosescouldbecutoff。Theappearanceofourhumblerfellow-citizencouldbequitestrikinglysimplifiedbeforewehaddonewithhim。

  Butallthisisnotabitwilderthanthebrutefactthatadoctorcanwalkintothehouseofafreeman,whosedaughter\'shairmaybeascleanasspringflowers,andorderhimtocutitoff。

  Itneverseemstostrikethesepeoplethatthelessonofliceintheslumsisthewrongnessofslums,notthewrongnessofhair。

  Hairis,tosaytheleastofit,arootedthing。Itsenemy(liketheotherinsectsandorientalarmiesofwhomwehavespoken)

  sweepuponusbutseldom。Intruth,itisonlybyeternalinstitutionslikehairthatwecantestpassinginstitutionslikeempires。

  Ifahouseissobuiltastoknockaman\'sheadoffwhenheentersit,itisbuiltwrong。

  Themobcanneverrebelunlessitisconservative,atleastenoughtohaveconservedsomereasonsforrebelling。Itisthemostawfulthoughtinallouranarchy,thatmostoftheancientblowsstruckforfreedomwouldnotbestruckatallto-day,becauseoftheobscurationoftheclean,popularcustomsfromwhichtheycame。

  TheinsultthatbroughtdownthehammerofWatTylermightnowbecalledamedicalexamination。ThatwhichVirginiusloathedandavengedasfoulslaverymightnowbepraisedasfreelove。

  ThecrueltauntofFoulon,\"Letthemeatgrass,\"mightnowberepresentedasthedyingcryofanidealisticvegetarian。

  Thosegreatscissorsofsciencethatwouldsnipoffthecurlsofthepoorlittleschoolchildrenareceaselesslysnappingcloserandclosertocutoffallthecornersandfringesoftheartsandhonorsofthepoor。Soontheywillbetwistingneckstosuitcleancollars,andhackingfeettofitnewboots。

  Itneverseemstostrikethemthatthebodyismorethanraiment;

  thattheSabbathwasmadeforman;thatallinstitutionsshallbejudgedanddamnedbywhethertheyhavefittedthenormalfleshandspirit。Itisthetestofpoliticalsanitytokeepyourhead。

  Itisthetestofartisticsanitytokeepyourhairon。

  Nowthewholeparableandpurposeoftheselastpages,andindeedofallthesepages,isthis:toassertthatwemustinstantlybeginalloveragain,andbeginattheotherend。Ibeginwithalittlegirl\'shair。

  ThatIknowisagoodthingatanyrate。Whateverelseisevil,theprideofagoodmotherinthebeautyofherdaughterisgood。

  Itisoneofthoseadamantinetendernesseswhicharethetouchstonesofeveryageandrace。Ifotherthingsareagainstit,otherthingsmustgodown。Iflandlordsandlawsandsciencesareagainstit,landlordsandlawsandsciencesmustgodown。Withtheredhairofoneshe-urchininthegutterIwillsetfiretoallmoderncivilization。

  Becauseagirlshouldhavelonghair,sheshouldhavecleanhair;

  becausesheshouldhavecleanhair,sheshouldnothaveanuncleanhome:

  becausesheshouldnothaveanuncleanhome,sheshouldhaveafreeandleisuredmother;becausesheshouldhaveafreemother,sheshouldnothaveanusuriouslandlord;becausethereshouldnotbeanusuriouslandlord,thereshouldbearedistributionofproperty;becausethereshouldbearedistributionofproperty,thereshallbearevolution。

  Thatlittleurchinwiththegold-redhair,whomIhavejustwatchedtoddlingpastmyhouse,sheshallnotbeloppedandlamedandaltered;

  herhairshallnotbecutshortlikeaconvict\'s;no,allthekingdomsoftheearthshallbehackedaboutandmutilatedtosuither。

  Sheisthehumanandsacredimage;allaroundherthesocialfabricshallswayandsplitandfall;thepillarsofsocietyshallbeshaken,andtheroofsofagescomerushingdown,andnotonehairofherheadshallbeharmed。

  ***

  THREENOTES

  ***

  I

  ONFEMALESUFFRAGE

  Notwishingtooverloadthislongessaywithtoomanyparentheses,apartfromitsthesisofprogressandprecedent,Iappendherethreenotesonpointsofdetailthatmaypossiblybemisunderstood。

  Thefirstreferstothefemalecontroversy。ItmayseemtomanythatIdismisstoocurtlythecontentionthatallwomenshouldhavevotes,evenifmostwomendonotdesirethem。

  Itisconstantlysaidinthisconnectionthatmaleshavereceivedthevote(theagriculturallaborersforinstance)

  whenonlyaminorityofthemwereinfavorofit。Mr。Galsworthy,oneofthefewfinefightingintellectsofourtime,hastalkedthislanguageinthe\"Nation。\"Now,broadly,Ihaveonlytoanswerhere,aseverywhereinthisbook,thathistoryisnotatobogganslide,butaroadtobereconsideredandevenretraced。

  IfwereallyforcedGeneralElectionsuponfreelaborerswhodefinitelydislikedGeneralElections,thenitwasathoroughlyundemocraticthingtodo;ifwearedemocratsweoughttoundoit。

  Wewantthewillofthepeople,notthevotesofthepeople;

  andtogiveamanavoteagainsthiswillistomakevotingmorevaluablethanthedemocracyitdeclares。

  Butthisanalogyisfalse,foraplainandparticularreason。

  Manyvotelesswomenregardavoteasunwomanly。

  Nobodysaysthatmostvotelessmenregardedavoteasunmanly。

  Nobodysaysthatanyvotelessmenregardeditasunmanly。

  Notinthestillesthamletorthemoststagnantfencouldyoufindayokeloratrampwhothoughthelosthissexualdignitybybeingpartofapoliticalmob。Ifhedidnotcareaboutavoteitwassolelybecausehedidnotknowaboutavote;hedidnotunderstandthewordanybetterthanBimetallism。Hisopposition,ifitexisted,wasmerelynegative。Hisindifferencetoavotewasreallyindifference。

  Butthefemalesentimentagainstthefranchise,whateveritssize,ispositive。Itisnotnegative;itisbynomeansindifferent。

  Suchwomenasareopposedtothechangeregardit(rightlyorwrongly)

  asunfeminine。Thatis,asinsultingcertainaffirmativetraditionstowhichtheyareattached。Youmaythinksuchaviewprejudiced;

  butIviolentlydenythatanydemocrathasarighttooverridesuchprejudices,iftheyarepopularandpositive。ThushewouldnothavearighttomakemillionsofMoslemsvotewithacrossiftheyhadaprejudiceinfavorofvotingwithacrescent。

  Unlessthisisadmitted,democracyisafarceweneedscarcelykeepup。

  Ifitisadmitted,theSuffragistshavenotmerelytoawakenanindifferent,buttoconvertahostilemajority。

  ***

  II

  ONCLEANLINESSINEDUCATION

  Onre-readingmyprotest,whichIhonestlythinkmuchneeded,againstourheathenidolatryofmereablution,Iseethatitmaypossiblybemisread。IhastentosaythatIthinkwashingamostimportantthingtobetaughtbothtorichandpoor。

  Idonotattackthepositivebuttherelativepositionofsoap。

  Letitbeinsistedonevenasmuchasnow;butletotherthingsbeinsistedonmuchmore。Iamevenreadytoadmitthatcleanlinessisnexttogodliness;butthemodernswillnotevenadmitgodlinesstobenexttocleanliness。

  IntheirtalkaboutThomasBecketandsuchsaintsandheroestheymakesoapmoreimportantthansoul;theyrejectgodlinesswheneveritisnotcleanliness。Ifweresentthisaboutremotesaintsandheroes,weshouldresentitmoreaboutthemanysaintsandheroesoftheslums,whoseuncleanhandscleansetheworld。

  Dirtisevilchieflyasevidenceofsloth;butthefactremainsthattheclassesthatwashmostarethosethatworkleast。

  Concerningthese,thepracticalcourseissimple;soapshouldbeurgedonthemandadvertisedaswhatitis——aluxury。

  Withregardtothepooralsothepracticalcourseisnothardtoharmonizewithourthesis。Ifwewanttogivepoorpeoplesoapwemustsetoutdeliberatelytogivethemluxuries。

  Ifwewillnotmakethemrichenoughtobeclean,thenemphaticallywemustdowhatwedidwiththesaints。

  Wemustreverencethemforbeingdirty。

  ***

  III

  ONPEASANTPROPRIETORSHIP

  Ihavenotdealtwithanydetailstouchingdistributedownership,oritspossibilityinEngland,forthereasonstatedinthetext。

  Thisbookdealswithwhatiswrong,wronginourrootofargumentandeffort。Thiswrongis,Isay,thatwewillgoforwardbecausewedarenotgoback。ThustheSocialistsaysthatpropertyisalreadyconcentratedintoTrustsandStores:

  theonlyhopeistoconcentrateitfurtherintheState。Isaytheonlyhopeistounconcentrateit;thatis,torepentandreturn;

  theonlystepforwardisthestepbackward。

  ButinconnectionwiththisdistributionIhavelaidmyselfopentoanotherpotentialmistake。Inspeakingofasweepingredistribution,Ispeakofdecisionintheaim,notnecessarilyofabruptnessinthemeans。ItisnotatalltoolatetorestoreanapproximatelyrationalstateofEnglishpossessionswithoutanymereconfiscation。

  Apolicyofbuyingoutlandlordism,steadilyadoptedinEnglandasithasalreadybeenadoptedinIreland(notablyinMr。Wyndham\'swiseandfruitfulAct),wouldinaveryshorttimereleasethelowerendofthesee-sawandmakethewholeplankswingmorelevel。

  Theobjectiontothiscourseisnotatallthatitwouldnotdo,onlythatitwillnotbedone。Ifweleavethingsastheyare,therewillalmostcertainlybeacrashofconfiscation。

  Ifwehesitate,weshallsoonhavetohurry。Butifwestartdoingitquicklywehavestilltimetodoitslowly。

  Thispoint,however,isnotessentialtomybook。AllIhavetourgebetweenthesetwoboardsisthatIdislikethebigWhiteleyshop,andthatIdislikeSocialismbecauseitwill(accordingtoSocialists)

  besolikethatshop。Itisitsfulfilment,notitsreversal。

  IdonotobjecttoSocialismbecauseitwillrevolutionizeourcommerce,butbecauseitwillleaveitsohorriblythesame。

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