Becomingconsciousofalongsilence，heclearedhisthroatwarningly，andsaidinasteadyvoice——
\"Iamgladyoufeelthis……uncommonlyglad……youfeltthisintime。For，don’tyousee……\"Unexpectedlyhehesitated。
\"Yes……Isee，\"shemurmured。
\"Ofcourseyouwould，\"hesaid，lookingatthecarpetandspeakinglikeonewhothinksofsomethingelse。Heliftedhishead。\"Icannotbelieve——evenafterthis——evenafterthis——thatyouarealtogether——altogether……otherthanwhatIthoughtyou。Itseemsimpossible——tome。\"
\"Andtome，\"shebreathedout。
\"Now——yes，\"hesaid，\"butthismorning？Andto-morrow？……Thisiswhat……\"
Hestartedatthedriftofhiswordsandbrokeoffabruptly。Everytrainofthoughtseemedtoleadintothehopelessrealmofungovernablefolly，torecalltheknowledgeandtheterrorofforcesthatmustbeignored。Hesaidrapidly——
\"Mypositionisverypainful——difficult……Ifeel……\"
Helookedatherfixedlywithapainedair，asthoughfrightfullyoppressedbyasuddeninabilitytoexpresshispent-upideas。
\"Iamreadytogo，\"shesaidverylow。\"Ihaveforfeitedeverything……tolearn……tolearn……\"
Herchinfellonherbreast；hervoicediedoutinasigh。Hemadeaslightgestureofimpatientassent。
\"Yes！Yes！It’sallverywell……ofcourse。Forfeited——ah！
Morallyforfeited——onlymorallyforfeited……ifIamtobelieveyou……\"
Shestartledhimbyjumpingup。
\"Oh！Ibelieve，Ibelieve，\"hesaid，hastily，andshesatdownassuddenlyasshehadgotup。Hewentongloomily——
\"I’vesuffered——Isuffernow。Youcan’tunderstandhowmuch。SomuchthatwhenyouproposeapartingIalmostthink……Butno。Thereisduty。You’veforgottenit；Ineverdid。Beforeheaven，Ineverdid。
Butinahorridexposurelikethisthejudgmentofmankindgoesastray——atleastforatime。Yousee，youandI——atleastIfeelthat——youandIareonebeforetheworld。Itisasitshouldbe。Theworldisright——inthemain——orelseitcouldn’tbe——couldn’tbe——whatitis。Andwearepartofit。Wehaveourdutyto——toourfellowbeingswhodon’twantto……to……er。\"
Hestammered。Shelookedupathimwithwideeyes，andherlipswereslightlyparted。Hewentonmumbling——
\"……Pain……Indignation……Suretomisunderstand。I’vesufferedenough。Andiftherehasbeennothingirreparable——asyouassureme……then……\"
\"Alvan！\"shecried。
\"What？\"hesaid，morosely。Hegazeddownatherforamomentwithasombrestare，asonelooksatruins，atthedevastationofsomenaturaldisaster。
\"Then，\"hecontinuedafterashortpause，\"thebestthingis……thebestforus……foreveryone……Yes……leastpain——mostunselfish……\"Hisvoicefaltered，andsheheardonlydetachedwords。\"……Duty……Burden……Ourselves……Silence。\"
Amomentofperfectstillnessensued。
\"ThisisanappealIammakingtoyourconscience，\"hesaid，suddenly，inanexplanatorytone，\"nottoaddtothewretchednessofallthis：
totryloyallyandhelpmetoliveitdownsomehow。Withoutanyreservations——youknow。Loyally！Youcan’tdenyI’vebeencruellywrongedand——afterall——myaffectiondeserves……\"Hepausedwithevidentanxietytohearherspeak。
\"Imakenoreservations，\"shesaid，mournfully。\"HowcouldI？Ifoundmyselfoutandcamebackto……\"hereyesflashedscornfullyforaninstant\"……towhat——towhatyoupropose。Yousee……I……I
canbetrusted……now。\"
Helistenedtoeverywordwithprofoundattention，andwhensheceasedseemedtowaitformore。
\"Isthatallyou’vegottosay？\"heasked。
Shewasstartledbyhistone，andsaidfaintly——
\"Ispokethetruth。WhatmorecanIsay？\"
\"Confoundit！Youmightsaysomethinghuman，\"heburstout。\"Itisn’tbeingtruthful；it’sbeingbrazen——ifyouwanttoknow。Notawordtoshowyoufeelyourposition，and——andmine。Notasinglewordofacknowledgment，orregret——orremorse……or……something。\"
\"Words！\"shewhisperedinatonethatirritatedhim。Hestampedhisfoot。
\"Thisisawful！\"heexclaimed。\"Words？Yes，words。Wordsmeansomething——yes——theydo——forallthisinfernalaffectation。Theymeansomethingtome——toeverybody——toyou。Whatthedevildidyouusetoexpressthosesentiments——sentiments——pah！——whichmadeyouforgetme，duty，shame！\"……Hefoamedatthemouthwhileshestaredathim，appalledbythissuddenfury。\"Didyoutwotalkonlywithyoureyes？\"
hesplutteredsavagely。Sherose。
\"Ican’tbearthis，\"shesaid，tremblingfromheadtofoot。\"Iamgoing。\"
Theystoodfacingoneanotherforamoment。
\"Notyou，\"hesaid，withconsciousroughness，andbegantowalkupanddowntheroom。Sheremainedverystillwithanairoflisteninganxiouslytoherownheart-beats，thensankdownonthechairslowly，andsighed，asifgivingupataskbeyondherstrength。
\"YoumisunderstandeverythingIsay，\"hebeganquietly，\"butIprefertothinkthat——justnow——youarenotaccountableforyouractions。\"Hestoppedagainbeforeher。\"Yourmindisunhinged，\"hesaid，withunction。\"Togonowwouldbeaddingcrime——yes，crime——tofolly。I’llhavenoscandalinmylife，nomatterwhat’sthecost。Andwhy？Youaresuretomisunderstandme——butI’lltellyou。Asamatterofduty。
Yes。Butyou’resuretomisunderstandme——recklessly。Womenalwaysdo——theyaretoo——toonarrow-minded。\"
Hewaitedforawhile，butshemadenosound，didn’tevenlookathim；
hefeltuneasy，painfullyuneasy，likeamanwhosuspectsheisunreasonablymistrusted。Tocombatthatexasperatingsensationherecommencedtalkingveryfast。Thesoundofhiswordsexcitedhisthoughts，andintheplayofdartingthoughtshehadglimpsesnowandthenoftheinexpugnablerockofhisconvictions，toweringinsolitarygrandeurabovetheunprofitablewasteoferrorsandpassions。
\"Foritisself-evident，\"hewentonwithanxiousvivacity，\"itisself-evidentthat，onthehighestgroundwehaven’ttheright——no，wehaven’ttherighttointrudeourmiseriesuponthosewho——whonaturallyexpectbetterthingsfromus。Everyonewisheshisownlifeandthelifearoundhimtobebeautifulandpure。Now，ascandalamongstpeopleofourpositionisdisastrousforthemorality——afatalinfluence——don’tyousee——uponthegeneraltoneoftheclass——veryimportant——themostimportant，Iverilybelieve，in——inthecommunity。Ifeelthis——profoundly。Thisisthebroadview。Intimeyou’llgiveme……whenyoubecomeagainthewomanIloved——andtrusted……\"
Hestoppedshort，asthoughunexpectedlysuffocated，theninacompletelychangedvoicesaid，\"ForIdidloveandtrustyou\"——andagainwassilentforamoment。Sheputherhandkerchieftohereyes。
\"You’llgivemecreditfor——for——mymotives。It’smainlyloyaltyto——tothelargerconditionsofourlife——whereyou——you！ofallwomen——failed。Onedoesn’tusuallytalklikethis——ofcourse——butinthiscaseyou’lladmit……Andconsider——theinnocentsufferwiththeguilty。Theworldispitilessinitsjudgments。Unfortunatelytherearealwaysthoseinitwhoareonlytooeagertomisunderstand。
BeforeyouandbeforemyconscienceIamguiltless，butany——anydisclosurewouldimpairmyusefulnessinthesphere——inthelargersphereinwhichIhopesoonto……Ibelieveyoufullysharedmyviewsinthatmatter——Idon’twanttosayanymore……on——onthatpoint——but，believeme，trueunselfishnessistobearone’sburdensin——insilence。Theidealmust——mustbepreserved——forothers，atleast。It’sclearasdaylight。IfI’vea——aloathsomesore，togratuitouslydisplayitwouldbeabominable——abominable！Andofteninlife——inthehighestconceptionoflife——outspokennessincertaincircumstancesisnothinglessthancriminal。Temptation，youknow，excusesnoone。Thereisnosuchthingreallyifonelookssteadilytoone’swelfare——whichisgroundedinduty。Buttherearetheweak。\"……Histonebecameferociousforaninstant……\"Andtherearethefoolsandtheenvious——especiallyforpeopleinourposition。Iamguiltlessofthisterrible——terrible……estrangement；butiftherehasbeennothingirreparable。\"……Somethinggloomy，likeadeepshadowpassedoverhisface……\"Nothingirreparable——youseeevennowIamreadytotrustyouimplicitly——thenourdutyisclear。\"
Helookeddown。Achangecameoverhisexpressionandstraightwayfromtheoutwardimpetusofhisloquacityhepassedintothedullcontemplationofalltheappeasingtruthsthat，notwithoutsomewonder，hehadsorecentlybeenabletodiscoverwithinhimself。
Duringthisprofoundandsoothingcommunionwithhisinnermostbeliefsheremainedstaringatthecarpet，withaportentouslysolemnfaceandwithadullvacuityofeyesthatseemedtogazeintotheblanknessofanemptyhole。Then，withoutstirringintheleast，hecontinued：
\"Yes。Perfectlyclear。I’vebeentriedtotheutmost，andIcan’tpretendthat，foratime，theoldfeelings——theoldfeelingsarenot……\"Hesighed……\"ButIforgiveyou……\"
Shemadeaslightmovementwithoutuncoveringhereyes。Inhisprofoundscrutinyofthecarpethenoticednothing。Andtherewassilence，silencewithinandsilencewithout，asthoughhiswordshadstilledthebeatandtremorofallthesurroundinglife，andthehousehadstoodalone——theonlydwellinguponadesertedearth。
Heliftedhisheadandrepeatedsolemnly：
\"Iforgiveyou……fromasenseofduty——andinthehope……\"
Heheardalaugh，anditnotonlyinterruptedhiswordsbutalsodestroyedthepeaceofhisself-absorptionwiththevilepainofarealityintrudinguponthebeautyofadream。Hecouldn’tunderstandwhencethesoundcame。Hecouldsee，foreshortened，thetear-stained，dolorousfaceofthewomanstretchedout，andwithherheadthrownoverthebackoftheseat。Hethoughtthepiercingnoisewasadelusion。Butanothershrillpealfollowedbyadeepsobandsucceededbyanothershriekofmirthpositivelyseemedtotearhimoutfromwherehestood。Heboundedtothedoor。Itwasclosed。Heturnedthekeyandthought：that’snogood……\"Stopthis！\"hecried，andperceivedwithalarmthathecouldhardlyhearhisownvoiceinthemidstofherscreaming。Hedartedbackwiththeideaofstiflingthatunbearablenoisewithhishands，butstoodstilldistracted，findinghimselfasunabletotouchherasthoughshehadbeenonfire。Heshouted，\"Enoughofthis！\"likemenshoutinthetumultofariot，witharedfaceandstartingeyes；then，asifsweptawaybeforeanotherburstoflaughter，hedisappearedinaflashoutofthreelooking-glasses，vanishedsuddenlyfrombeforeher。Foratimethewomangaspedandlaughedatnooneintheluminousstillnessoftheemptyroom。
Hereappeared，stridingather，andwithatumblerofwaterinhishand。Hestammered：\"Hysterics——Stop——Theywillhear——Drinkthis。\"
Shelaughedattheceiling。\"Stopthis！\"hecried。\"Ah！\"
Heflungthewaterinherface，puttingintotheactionallthesecretbrutalityofhisspite，yetstillfeltthatitwouldhavebeenperfectlyexcusable——inanyone——tosendthetumblerafterthewater。
Herestrainedhimself，butatthesametimewassoconvincednothingcouldstopthehorrorofthosemadshrieksthat，whenthefirstsensationofreliefcame，itdidnotevenoccurtohimtodoubttheimpressionofhavingbecomesuddenlydeaf。When，nextmoment，hebecamesurethatshewassittingup，andreallyveryquiet，itwasasthougheverything——men，things，sensations，hadcometoarest。Hewaspreparedtobegrateful。Hecouldnottakehiseyesoffher，fearing，yetunwillingtoadmit，thepossibilityofherbeginningagain；for，theexperience，howevercontemptuouslyhetriedtothinkofit，hadleftthebewildermentofamysteriousterror。Herfacewasstreamingwithwaterandtears；therewasawispofhaironherforehead，anotherstucktohercheek；herhatwasononeside，undecorouslytilted；hersoakedveilresembledasordidragfestooningherforehead。Therewasanutterunreserveinheraspect，anabandonmentofsafeguards，thatuglinessoftruthwhichcanonlybekeptoutofdailylifebyunremittingcareforappearances。Hedidnotknowwhy，lookingather，hethoughtsuddenlyofto-morrow，andwhythethoughtcalledoutadeepfeelingofunutterable，discouragedweariness——afearoffacingthesuccessionofdays。To-morrow！Itwasasfarasyesterday。Ageselapsedbetweensunrises——sometimes。Hescannedherfeatureslikeonelooksataforgottencountry。Theywerenotdistorted——herecognizedlandmarks，sotospeak；butitwasonlyaresemblancethathecouldsee，notthewomanofyesterday——orwasit，perhaps，morethanthewomanofyesterday？Whocouldtell？Wasitsomethingnew？Anewexpression——oranewshadeofexpression？orsomethingdeep——anoldtruthunveiled，afundamentalandhiddentruth——someunnecessary，accursedcertitude？Hebecameawarethathewastremblingverymuch，thathehadanemptytumblerinhishand——thattimewaspassing。Stilllookingatherwithlingeringmistrusthereachedtowardsthetabletoputtheglassdownandwasstartledtofeelitapparentlygothroughthewood。Hehadmissedtheedge。Thesurprise，theslightjinglingnoiseoftheaccidentannoyedhimbeyondexpression。Heturnedtoherirritated。
\"What’sthemeaningofthis？\"heasked，grimly。
Shepassedherhandoverherfaceandmadeanattempttogetup。
\"You’renotgoingtobeabsurdagain，\"hesaid。\"’Ponmysoul，Ididnotknowyoucouldforgetyourselftothatextent。\"Hedidn’ttrytoconcealhisphysicaldisgust，becausehebelievedittobeapurelymoralreprobationofeveryunreserve，ofanythinginthenatureofascene。\"Iassureyou——itwasrevolting，\"hewenton。Hestaredforamomentather。\"Positivelydegrading，\"headdedwithinsistence。
Shestoodupquicklyasifmovedbyaspringandtottered。Hestartedforwardinstinctively。Shecaughtholdofthebackofthechairandsteadiedherself。Thisarrestedhim，andtheyfacedeachotherwide-eyed，uncertain，andyetcomingbackslowlytotherealityofthingswithreliefandwonder，asthoughjustawakenedaftertossingthroughalongnightoffevereddreams。
\"Pray，don’tbeginagain，\"hesaid，hurriedly，seeingheropenherlips。\"Ideservesomelittleconsideration——andsuchunaccountablebehaviourispainfultome。Iexpectbetterthings……Ihavetheright……\"
Shepressedbothherhandstohertemples。
\"Oh，nonsense！\"hesaid，sharply。\"Youareperfectlycapableofcomingdowntodinner。Nooneshouldevensuspect；noteventheservants。Noone！Noone！……Iamsureyoucan。\"
Shedroppedherarms；herfacetwitched。Shelookedstraightintohiseyesandseemedincapableofpronouncingaword。Hefrownedather。
\"I——wish——it，\"hesaid，tyrannically。\"Foryourownsakealso……\"
Hemeanttocarrythatpointwithoutanypity。Whydidn’tshespeak？
Hefearedpassiveresistance。Shemust……Makehercome。Hisfrowndeepened，andhebegantothinkofsomeeffectualviolence，whenmostunexpectedlyshesaidinafirmvoice，\"Yes，Ican，\"andclutchedthechair-backagain。Hewasrelieved，andallatonceherattitudeceasedtointeresthim。Theimportantthingwasthattheirlifewouldbeginagainwithanevery-dayact——withsomethingthatcouldnotbemisunderstood，that，thankGod，hadnomoralmeaning，noperplexity——
andyetwassymbolicoftheiruninterruptedcommunioninthepast——inallthefuture。Thatmorning，atthattable，theyhadbreakfasttogether；andnowtheywoulddine。Itwasallover！Whathadhappenedbetweencouldbeforgotten——mustbeforgotten，likethingsthatcanonlyhappenonce——deathforinstance。
\"Iwillwaitforyou，\"hesaid，goingtothedoor。Hehadsomedifficultywithit，forhedidnotrememberhehadturnedthekey。Hehatedthatdelay，andhischeckedimpatiencetobegoneoutoftheroommadehimfeelquiteillas，withtheconsciousnessofherpresencebehindhisback，hefumbledatthelock。Hemanageditatlast；theninthedoorwayheglancedoverhisshouldertosay，\"It’sratherlate——youknow——\"andsawherstandingwherehehadlefther，withafacewhiteasalabasterandperfectlystill，likeawomaninatrance。
Hewasafraidshewouldkeephimwaiting，butwithoutanybreathingtime，hehardlyknewhow，hefoundhimselfsittingattablewithher。
Hehadmadeuphismindtoeat，totalk，tobenatural。Itseemedtohimnecessarythatdeceptionshouldbeginathome。Theservantsmustnotknow——mustnotsuspect。Thisintensedesireofsecrecy；ofsecrecydark，destroying，profound，discreetlikeagrave，possessedhimwiththestrengthofahallucination——seemedtospreaditselftoinanimateobjectsthathadbeenthedailycompanionsofhislife，affectedwithataintofenmityeverysinglethingwithinthefaithfulwallsthatwouldstandforeverbetweentheshamelessnessoffactsandtheindignationofmankind。Evenwhen——asithappenedonceortwice——boththeservantslefttheroomtogetherheremainedcarefullynatural，industriouslyhungry，laboriouslyathisease，asthoughhehadwantedtocheattheblackoaksideboard，theheavycurtains，thestiff-backedchairs，intothebeliefofanunstainedhappiness。Hewasmistrustfulofhiswife’sself-control，unwillingtolookatherandreluctanttospeak，foritseemedtohiminconceivablethatsheshouldnotbetrayherselfbytheslightestmovement，bytheveryfirstwordspoken。Thenhethoughtthesilenceintheroomwasbecomingdangerous，andsoexcessiveastoproducetheeffectofanintolerableuproar。Hewantedtoendit，asoneisanxioustointerruptanindiscreetconfession；
butwiththememoryofthatlaughupstairshedarednotgiveheranoccasiontoopenherlips。Presentlyheheardhervoicepronouncinginacalmtonesomeunimportantremark。Hedetachedhiseyesfromthecentreofhisplateandfeltexcitedasifonthepointoflookingatawonder。Andnothingcouldbemorewonderfulthanhercomposure。Hewaslookingatthecandideyes，atthepurebrow，atwhathehadseeneveryeveningforyearsinthatplace；helistenedtothevoicethatforfiveyearshehadheardeveryday。Perhapsshewasalittlepale——butahealthypallorhadalwaysbeenforhimoneofherchiefattractions。Perhapsherfacewasrigidlyset——butthatmarmorealimpassiveness，thatmagnificentstolidity，asofawonderfulstatuebysomegreatsculptorworkingunderthecurseofthegods；thatimposing，unthinkingstillnessofherfeatures，hadtillthenmirroredforhimthetranquildignityofasoulofwhichhehadthoughthimself——asamatterofcourse——theinexpugnablepossessor。
Thoseweretheoutwardsignsofherdifferencefromtheignobleherdthatfeels，suffers，fails，errs——buthasnodistinctvalueintheworldexceptasamoralcontrasttotheprosperityoftheelect。Hehadbeenproudofherappearance。Ithadtheperfectlyproperfranknessofperfection——andnowhewasshockedtoseeitunchanged。
Shelookedlikethis，spokelikethis，exactlylikethis，ayearago，amonthago——onlyyesterdaywhenshe……Whatwentonwithinmadenodifference。Whatdidshethink？Whatmeantthepallor，theplacidface，thecandidbrow，thepureeyes？Whatdidshethinkduringalltheseyears？Whatdidshethinkyesterday——to-day；whatwouldshethinkto-morrow？Hemustfindout……Andyethowcouldhegettoknow？Shehadbeenfalsetohim，tothatman，toherself；shewasreadytobefalse——forhim。Alwaysfalse。Shelookedlies，breathedlies，livedlies——wouldtelllies——always——totheendoflife！Andhewouldneverknowwhatshemeant。Never！Never！Noonecould。
Impossibletoknow。
Hedroppedhisknifeandfork，brusquely，asthoughbythevirtueofasuddenilluminationhehadbeenmadeawareofpoisoninhisplate，andbecamepositiveinhismindthathecouldneverswallowanothermorseloffoodaslongashelived。Thedinnerwentoninaroomthathadbeensteadilygrowing，fromsomecause，hotterthanafurnace。Hehadtodrink。Hedranktimeaftertime，and，atlast，recollectinghimself，wasfrightenedatthequantity，tillheperceivedthatwhathehadbeendrinkingwaswater——outoftwodifferentwineglasses；andthediscoveredunconsciousnessofhisactionsaffectedhimpainfully。
Hewasdisturbedtofindhimselfinsuchanunhealthystateofmind。
Excessoffeeling——excessoffeeling；anditwaspartofhiscreedthatanyexcessoffeelingwasunhealthy——morallyunprofitable；ataintonpracticalmanhood。Herfault。Entirelyherfault。Hersinfulself-forgetfulnesswascontagious。Itmadehimthinkthoughtshehadneverhadbefore；thoughtsdisintegrating，tormenting，sappingtotheverycoreoflife——likemortaldisease；thoughtsthatbredthefearofair，ofsunshine，ofmen——likethewhisperednewsofapestilence。
Themaidsservedwithoutnoise；andtoavoidlookingathiswifeandlookingwithinhimself，hefollowedwithhiseyesfirstoneandthentheotherwithoutbeingabletodistinguishbetweenthem。Theymovedsilentlyabout，withoutonebeingabletoseebywhatmeans，fortheirskirtstouchedthecarpetallround；theyglidedhereandthere，receded，approached，rigidinblackandwhite，withprecisegestures，andnolifeintheirfaces，likeapairofmarionettesinmourning；
andtheirairofwoodenunconcernstruckhimasunnatural，suspicious，irremediablyhostile。Thatsuchpeople’sfeelingsorjudgmentcouldaffectoneinanyway，hadneveroccurredtohimbefore。Heunderstoodtheyhadnoprospects，noprinciples——norefinementandnopower。Butnowhehadbecomesodebasedthathecouldnotevenattempttodisguisefromhimselfhisyearningtoknowthesecretthoughtsofhisservants。Severaltimeshelookedupcovertlyatthefacesofthosegirls。Impossibletoknow。Theychangedhisplatesandutterlyignoredhisexistence。Whatimpenetrableduplicity。Women——nothingbutwomenroundhim。Impossibletoknow。Heexperiencedthatheart-probing，fierysenseofdangerousloneliness，whichsometimesassailsthecourageofasolitaryadventurerinanunexploredcountry。Thesightofaman’sface——hefelt——ofanyman’sface，wouldhavebeenaprofoundrelief。Onewouldknowthen——something——couldunderstand……Hewouldengageabutlerassoonaspossible。Andthentheendofthatdinner——whichhadseemedtohavebeengoingonforhours——theendcame，takinghimviolentlybysurprise，asthoughhehadexpectedinthenaturalcourseofeventstositatthattableforeverandever。
Butupstairsinthedrawing-roomhebecamethevictimofarestlessfate，thatwould，onnoaccount，permithimtositdown。Shehadsunkonaloweasy-chair，andtakingupfromasmalltableatherelbowafanwithivoryleaves，shadedherfacefromthefire。Thecoalsglowedwithoutaflame；andupontheredglowtheverticalbarsofthegratestoodoutatherfeet，blackandcurved，likethecharredribsofaconsumedsacrifice。Faroff，alampperchedonaslimbrassrod，burnedunderawideshadeofcrimsonsilk：thecentre，withintheshadowsofthelargeroom，ofafierytwilightthathadinthewarmqualityofitstintsomethingdelicate，refinedandinfernal。Hissoftfootfallsandthesubduedbeatoftheclockonthehighmantel-pieceansweredeachotherregularly——asiftimeandhimself，engagedinameasuredcontest，hadbeenpacingtogetherthroughtheinfernaldelicacyoftwilighttowardsamysteriousgoal。
Hewalkedfromoneendoftheroomtotheotherwithoutapause，likeatravellerwho，atnight，hastensdoggedlyuponaninterminablejourney。Nowandthenheglancedather。Impossibletoknow。Thegrossprecisionofthatthoughtexpressedtohispracticalmindsomethingillimitableandinfinitelyprofound，theall-embracingsubtletyofafeeling，theeternaloriginofhispain。Thiswomanhadacceptedhim，hadabandonedhim——hadreturnedtohim。Andofallthishewouldneverknowthetruth。Never。Nottilldeath——notafter——notonjudgmentdaywhenallshallbedisclosed，thoughtsanddeeds，rewardsandpunishments，butthesecretofheartsaloneshallreturn，foreverunknown，totheInscrutableCreatorofgoodandevil，totheMasterofdoubtsandimpulses。
Hestoodstilltolookather。Thrownbackandwithherfaceturnedawayfromhim，shedidnotstir——asifasleep。Whatdidshethink？
Whatdidshefeel？Andinthepresenceofherperfectstillness，inthebreathlesssilence，hefelthimselfinsignificantandpowerlessbeforeher，likeaprisonerinchains。Thefuryofhisimpotencecalledoutsinisterimages，thatfacultyoftormentingvision，whichinamomentofanguishingsenseofwronginducesamantomutterthreatsormakeamenacinggestureinthesolitudeofanemptyroom。
Butthegustofpassionpassedatonce，lefthimtremblingalittle，withthewondering，reflectivefearofamanwhohaspausedontheveryvergeofsuicide。Theserenityoftruthandthepeaceofdeathcanbeonlysecuredthroughalargenessofcontemptembracingalltheprofitableservitudesoflife。Hefoundhedidnotwanttoknow。
Betternot。Itwasallover。Itwasasifithadn’tbeen。Anditwasverynecessaryforbothofthem，itwasmorallyright，thatnobodyshouldknow。
Hespokesuddenly，asifconcludingadiscussion。
\"Thebestthingforusistoforgetallthis。\"
Shestartedalittleandshutthefanwithaclick。
\"Yes，forgive——andforget，\"herepeated，asiftohimself。
\"I’llneverforget，\"shesaidinavibratingvoice。\"AndI’llneverforgivemyself……\"
\"ButI，whohavenothingtoreproachmyself……\"Hebegan，makingasteptowardsher。Shejumpedup。
\"Ididnotcomebackforyourforgiveness，\"sheexclaimed，passionately，asifclamouringagainstanunjustaspersion。
Heonlysaid\"oh！\"andbecamesilent。Hecouldnotunderstandthisunprovokedaggressivenessofherattitude，andcertainlywasveryfarfromthinkingthatanunpremeditatedhintofsomethingresemblingemotioninthetoneofhislastwordshadcausedthatuncontrollableburstofsincerity。Itcompletedhisbewilderment，buthewasnotatallangrynow。Hewasasifbenumbedbythefascinationoftheincomprehensible。Shestoodbeforehim，tallandindistinct，likeablackphantomintheredtwilight。Atlastpoignantlyuncertainastowhatwouldhappenifheopenedhislips，hemuttered：
\"Butifmyloveisstrongenough……\"andhesitated。
Heheardsomethingsnaploudlyinthefierystillness。Shehadbrokenherfan。Twothinpiecesofivoryfell，oneafteranother，withoutasound，onthethickcarpet，andinstinctivelyhestoopedtopickthemup。Whilehegropedatherfeetitoccurredtohimthatthewomantherehadinherhandsanindispensablegiftwhichnothingelseonearthcouldgive；andwhenhestooduphewaspenetratedbyanirresistiblebeliefinanenigma，bytheconvictionthatwithinhisreachandpassingawayfromhimwastheverysecretofexistence——itscertitude，immaterialandprecious！Shemovedtothedoor，andhefollowedatherelbow，castingaboutforamagicwordthatwouldmaketheenigmaclear，thatwouldcompelthesurrenderofthegift。Andthereisnosuchword！Theenigmaisonlymadeclearbysacrifice，andthegiftofheavenisinthehandsofeveryman。Buttheyhadlivedinaworldthatabhorsenigmas，andcaresfornogiftsbutsuchascanbeobtainedinthestreet。Shewasnearingthedoor。Hesaidhurriedly：
\"’Ponmyword，Ilovedyou——Iloveyounow。\"
Shestoppedforanalmostimperceptiblemomenttogivehimanindignantglance，andthenmovedon。Thatfemininepenetration——socleverandsotaintedbytheeternalinstinctofself-defence，soreadytoseeanobviousevilineverythingitcannotunderstand——filledherwithbitterresentmentagainstboththemenwhocouldoffertothespiritualandtragicstrifeofherfeelingsnothingbutthecoarsenessoftheirabominablematerialism。Inherangeragainstherownineffectualself-deceptionshefoundhateenoughforthemboth。Whatdidtheywant？Whatmoredidthisonewant？Andasherhusbandfacedheragain，withhishandonthedoor-handle，sheaskedherselfwhetherhewasunpardonablystupid，orsimplyignoble。
Shesaidnervously，andveryfast：
\"Youaredeceivingyourself。Youneverlovedme。Youwantedawife——somewoman——anywomanthatwouldthink，speak，andbehaveinacertainway——inawayyouapproved。Youlovedyourself。\"
\"Youwon’tbelieveme？\"heasked，slowly。
\"IfIhadbelievedyoulovedme，\"shebegan，passionately，thendrewinalongbreath；andduringthatpauseheheardthesteadybeatofbloodinhisears。\"IfIhadbelievedit……Iwouldneverhavecomeback，\"shefinished，recklessly。
Hestoodlookingdownasthoughhehadnotheard。Shewaited。Afteramomentheopenedthedoor，and，onthelanding，thesightlesswomanofmarbleappeared，drapedtothechin，thrustingblindlyatthemaclusteroflights。
Heseemedtohaveforgottenhimselfinameditationsodeepthatonthepointofgoingoutshestoppedtolookathiminsurprise。Whileshehadbeenspeakinghehadwanderedonthetrackoftheenigma，outoftheworldofsensesintotheregionoffeeling。Whatdiditmatterwhatshehaddone，whatshehadsaid，ifthroughthepainofheractsandwordshehadobtainedthewordoftheenigma！Therecanbenolifewithoutfaithandlove——faithinahumanheart，loveofahumanbeing！
Thattouchofgrace，whosehelponceinlifeistheprivilegeofthemostundeserving，flungopenforhimtheportalsofbeyond，andincontemplatingtherethecertitudeimmaterialandpreciousheforgotallthemeaninglessaccidentsofexistence：theblissofgetting，thedelightofenjoying；alltheproteanandenticingformsofthecupiditythatrulesamaterialworldoffoolishjoys，ofcontemptiblesorrows。Faith！——Love！——theundoubting，clearfaithinthetruthofasoul——thegreattenderness，deepastheocean，sereneandeternal，liketheinfinitepeaceofspaceabovetheshorttempestsoftheearth。Itwaswhathehadwantedallhislife——butheunderstooditonlythenforthefirsttime。Itwasthroughthepainoflosingherthattheknowledgehadcome。Shehadthegift！Shehadthegift！Andinalltheworldshewastheonlyhumanbeingthatcouldsurrenderittohisimmensedesire。Hemadeastepforward，puttinghisarmsout，asiftotakehertohisbreast，and，liftinghishead，wasmetbysuchalookofblankconsternationthathisarmsfellasthoughtheyhadbeenstruckdownbyablow。Shestartedawayfromhim，stumbledoverthethreshold，andonceonthelandingturned，swiftandcrouching。Thetrainofhergownswishedasitflewroundherfeet。Itwasanundisguisedpanic。Shepanted，showingherteeth，andthehateofstrength，thedisdainofweakness，theeternalpreoccupationofsexcameoutlikeatoydemonoutofabox。
\"Thisisodious，\"shescreamed。
Hedidnotstir；butherlook，heragitatedmovements，thesoundofhervoicewerelikeamistoffactsthickeningbetweenhimandthevisionofloveandfaith。Itvanished；andlookingatthatfacetriumphantandscornful，atthatwhiteface，stealthyandunexpected，asifdiscoveredstaringfromanambush，hewascomingbackslowlytotheworldofsenses。Hisfirstclearthoughtwas：Iammarriedtothatwoman；andthenext：shewillgivenothingbutwhatIsee。Hefelttheneednottosee。Butthememoryofthevision，thememorythatabidesforeverwithintheseermadehimsaytoherwiththenaiveausterityofaconvertawedbythetouchofanewcreed，\"Youhaven’tthegift。\"
Heturnedhisbackonher，leavinghercompletelymystified。Andshewentupstairsslowly，strugglingwithadistastefulsuspicionofhavingbeenconfrontedbysomethingmoresubtlethanherself——moreprofoundthanthemisunderstoodandtragiccontestofherfeelings。
Heshutthedoorofthedrawing-roomandmovedathazard，aloneamongsttheheavyshadowsandinthefierytwilightasofanelegantplaceofperdition。Shehadn’tthegift——noonehad……Hesteppedonabookthathadfallenoffoneofthecrowdedlittletables。Hepickeduptheslendervolume，andholdingit，approachedthecrimson-shadedlamp。Thefierytintdeepenedonthecover，andcontortedgoldletterssprawlingalloveritinanintricatemaze，cameout，gleamingredly。\"ThornsandArabesques。\"Hereadittwice，\"ThornsandAr……\"Theother’sbookofverses。Hedroppeditathisfeet，butdidnotfeeltheslightestpangofjealousyorindignation。Whatdidheknow？……What？……Themassofhotcoalstumbleddowninthegrate，andheturnedtolookatthem……
Ah！Thatonewasreadytogiveupeverythinghehadforthatwoman——whodidnotcome——whohadnotthefaith，thelove，thecouragetocome。Whatdidthatmanexpect，whatdidhehope，whatdidhewant？
Thewoman——orthecertitudeimmaterialandprecious！Thefirstunselfishthoughthehadevergiventoanyhumanbeingwasforthatmanwhohadtriedtodohimaterriblewrong。Hewasnotangry。Hewassaddenedbyanimpersonalsorrow，byavastmelancholyasofallmankindlongingforwhatcannotbeattained。Hefelthisfellowshipwitheveryman——evenwiththatman——especiallywiththatman。Whatdidhethinknow？Hadheceasedtowait——andhope？Wouldheeverceasetowaitandhope？Wouldheunderstandthatthewoman，whohadnocourage，hadnotthegift——hadnotthegift！
Theclockbegantostrike，andthedeep-tonedvibrationfilledtheroomasthoughwiththesoundofanenormousbelltollingfaraway。Hecountedthestrokes。Twelve。Anotherdayhadbegun。To-morrowhadcome；themysteriousandlyingto-morrowthatluresmen，disdainfulofloveandfaith，onandonthroughthepoignantfutilitiesoflifetothefittingrewardofagrave。Hecountedthestrokes，andgazingatthegrateseemedtowaitformore。Then，asifcalledout，lefttheroom，walkingfirmly。
Whenoutsideheheardfootstepsinthehallandstoodstill。Aboltwasshot——thenanother。Theywerelockingup——shuttingouthisdesireandhisdeceptionfromtheindignantcriticismofaworldfullofnoblegiftsforthosewhoproclaimthemselveswithoutstainandwithoutreproach。Hewassafe；andonallsidesofhisdwellingservilefearsandservilehopesslept，dreamingofsuccess，behindtheseverediscretionofdoorsasimpenetrabletothetruthwithinasthegraniteoftombstones。Alocksnapped——ashortchainrattled。Nobodyshallknow！
Whywasthisassuranceofsafetyheavierthanaburdenoffear，andwhythedaythatbeganpresenteditselfobstinatelylikethelastdayofall——likeato-daywithoutato-morrow？Yetnothingwaschanged，fornobodywouldknow；andallwouldgoonasbefore——thegetting，theenjoying，theblessingofhungerthatisappeasedeveryday；thenobleincentivesofunappeasableambitions。All——alltheblessingsoflife。All——butthecertitudeimmaterialandprecious——thecertitudeofloveandfaith。Hebelievedtheshadowofithadbeenwithhimaslongashecouldremember；thatinvisiblepresencehadruledhislife。
Andnowtheshadowhadappearedandfadedhecouldnotextinguishhislongingforthetruthofitssubstance。Hisdesireofitwasnaive；itwasmasterfullikethematerialaspirationsthatarethegroundworkofexistence，but，unlikethese，itwasunconquerable。Itwasthesubtledespotismofanideathatsuffersnorivals，thatislonely，inconsolable，anddangerous。Hewentslowlyupthestairs。
Nobodyshallknow。Thedayswouldgoonandhewouldgofar——veryfar。
Iftheideacouldnotbemastered，fortunecouldbe，mancouldbe——thewholeworld。Hewasdazzledbythegreatnessoftheprospect；thebrutalityofapracticalinstinctshoutedtohimthatonlythatwhichcouldbehadwasworthhaving。Helingeredonthesteps。Thelightswereoutinthehall，andasmallyellowflameflittedaboutdownthere。Hefeltasuddencontemptforhimselfwhichbracedhimup。Hewenton，butatthedooroftheirroomandwithhisarmadvancedtoopenit，hefaltered。Ontheflightofstairsbelowtheheadofthegirlwhohadbeenlockingupappeared。Hisarmfell。Hethought，\"I’llwaittillsheisgone\"——andsteppedbackwithintheperpendicularfoldsofaportiere。
Hesawhercomeupgradually，asifascendingfromawell。Ateverystepthefeebleflameofthecandleswayedbeforehertired，youngface，andthedarknessofthehallseemedtoclingtoherblackskirt，followedher，risinglikeasilentflood，asthoughthegreatnightoftheworldhadbrokenthroughthediscreetreserveofwalls，ofcloseddoors，ofcurtainedwindows。Itroseoverthesteps，itleapedupthewallslikeanangrywave，itflowedovertheblueskies，overtheyellowsands，overthesunshineoflandscapes，andovertheprettypathosofraggedinnocenceandofmeekstarvation。Itswallowedupthedeliciousidyllinaboatandthemutilatedimmortalityoffamousbas-reliefs。Itflowedfromoutside——itrosehigher，inadestructivesilence。And，aboveit，thewomanofmarble，composedandblindonthehighpedestal，seemedtowardoffthedevouringnightwithaclusteroflights。
Hewatchedtherisingtideofimpenetrablegloomwithimpatience，asifanxiousforthecomingofadarknessblackenoughtoconcealashamefulsurrender。Itcamenearer。Theclusteroflightswentout。
Thegirlascendedfacinghim。Behindhertheshadowofacolossalwomandancedlightlyonthewall。Heheldhisbreathwhileshepassedby，noiselessandwithheavyeyelids。Andonhertracktheflowingtideofatenebrousseafilledthehouse，seemedtoswirlabouthisfeet，andrisingunchecked，closedsilentlyabovehishead。
Thetimehadcomebuthedidnotopenthedoor。Allwasstill；andinsteadofsurrenderingtothereasonableexigenciesoflifehesteppedout，witharebellingheart，intothedarknessofthehouse。
Itwastheabodeofanimpenetrablenight；asthoughindeedthelastdayhadcomeandgone，leavinghimaloneinadarknessthathasnoto-morrow。Andloomingvaguelybelowthewomanofmarble，lividandstilllikeapatientphantom，heldoutinthenightaclusterofextinguishedlights。
Hisobedientthoughttracedforhimtheimageofanuninterruptedlife，thedignityandtheadvantagesofanuninterruptedsuccess；
whilehisrebelliousheartbeatviolentlywithinhisbreast，asifmaddenedbythedesireofacertitudeimmaterialandprecious——thecertitudeofloveandfaith。Whatofthenightwithinhisdwellingifoutsidehecouldfindthesunshineinwhichmensow，inwhichmenreap！Nobodywouldknow。Thedays，theyearswouldpass，and……Herememberedthathehadlovedher。Theyearswouldpass……Andthenhethoughtofheraswethinkofthedead——inatenderimmensityofregret，inapassionatelongingforthereturnofidealizedperfections。Hehadlovedher——hehadlovedher——andheneverknewthetruth……Theyearswouldpassintheanguishofdoubt……Herememberedhersmile，hereyes，hervoice，hersilence，asthoughhehadlostherforever。Theyearswouldpassandhewouldalwaysmistrusthersmile，suspecthereyes；hewouldalwaysmisbelievehervoice，hewouldneverhavefaithinhersilence。Shehadnogift——shehadnogift！Whatwasshe？Whowasshe？……Theyearswouldpass；
thememoryofthishourwouldgrowfaint——andshewouldsharethematerialserenityofanunblemishedlife。Shehadnoloveandnofaithforanyone。Togiveheryourthought，yourbelief，waslikewhisperingyourconfessionovertheedgeoftheworld。Nothingcameback——notevenanecho。
Inthepainofthatthoughtwasbornhisconscience；notthatfearofremorsewhichgrowsslowly，andslowlydecaysamongstthecomplicatedfactsoflife，butaDivinewisdomspringingfull-grown，armedandsevereoutofatriedheart，tocombatthesecretbasenessofmotives。
Itcametohiminaflashthatmoralityisnotamethodofhappiness。
Therevelationwasterrible。Hesawatoncethatnothingofwhatheknewmatteredintheleast。Theactsofmenandwomen，success，humiliation，dignity，failure——nothingmattered。Itwasnotaquestionofmoreorlesspain，ofthisjoy，ofthatsorrow。Itwasaquestionoftruthorfalsehood——itwasaquestionoflifeordeath。
Hestoodintherevealingnight——inthedarknessthattriesthehearts，inthenightuselessfortheworkofmen，butinwhichtheirgaze，undazzledbythesunshineofcovetousdays，wanderssometimesasfarasthestars。Theperfectstillnessaroundhimhadsomethingsolemninit，buthefeltitwasthelyingsolemnityofatempledevotedtotheritesofadebasingpersuasion。Thesilencewithinthediscreetwallswaseloquentofsafetybutitappearedtohimexcitingandsinister，likethediscretionofaprofitableinfamy；itwastheprudentpeaceofadenofcoiners——ofahouseofill-fame！Theyearswouldpass——andnobodywouldknow。Never！Nottilldeath——notafter……
\"Never！\"hesaidaloudtotherevealingnight。
Andhehesitated。Thesecretofhearts，tooterribleforthetimideyesofmen，shallreturn，veiledforever，totheInscrutableCreatorofgoodandevil，totheMasterofdoubtsandimpulses。Hisconsciencewasborn——hehearditsvoice，andhehesitated，ignoringthestrengthwithin，thefatefulpower，thesecretofhisheart！Itwasanawfulsacrificetocastallone’slifeintotheflameofanewbelief。Hewantedhelpagainsthimself，againstthecrueldecreeofsalvation。
Theneedoftacitcomplicity，whereithadneverfailedhim，thehabitofyearsaffirmeditself。Perhapsshewouldhelp……Heflungthedooropenandrushedinlikeafugitive。
Hewasinthemiddleoftheroombeforehecouldseeanythingbutthedazzlingbrillianceofthelight；andthen，asifdetachedandfloatinginitonthelevelofhiseyes，appearedtheheadofawoman。
Shehadjumpedupwhenheburstintotheroom。
Foramomenttheycontemplatedeachotherasifstruckdumbwithamazement。Herhairstreamingonhershouldersglintedlikeburnishedgold。Helookedintotheunfathomablecandourofhereyes。Nothingwithin——nothing——nothing。