DEDICATION
TO
CAPTAINSAMUELLEWIS，OFTHE
PENINSULARANDORIENTALSTEAMNAVIGATIONCOMPANY’S
SERVICE。
MyDearLewis，Afteravoyage，duringwhichthecaptainoftheshiphasdisplayeduncommoncourage，seamanship，affability，orothergoodqualities，gratefulpassengersoftenpresenthimwithatokenoftheiresteem，intheshapeofteapots，tankards，trays，&c。ofpreciousmetal。
Amongauthors，however，bullionisamuchrarercommoditythanpaper，whereofIbegyoutoacceptalittleintheshapeofthissmallvolume。Itcontainsafewnotesofavoyagewhichyourskillandkindnessrendereddoublypleasant；andofwhichIdon’tthinkthereisanyrecollectionmoreagreeablethanthatitwastheoccasionofmakingyourfriendship。
IfthenobleCompanyinwhoseserviceyoucommand（andwhosefleetalonemakesthemathird-ratemaritimepowerinEurope）shouldappointafewadmiralsintheirnavy，Ihopetohearthatyourflagishoistedonboardoneofthegrandestoftheirsteamers。But，I
trust，eventhereyouwillnotforgetthe\"Iberia，\"andthedelightfulMediterraneancruisewehadinherintheAutumnof1844。
Mostfaithfullyyours，MydearLewis，W。M。THACKERAY。
LONDON：December24，1845。
PREFACE
Onthe20thofAugust，1844，thewriterofthislittlebookwenttodineatthe——Club，quiteunconsciousofthewonderfuleventswhichFatehadinstoreforhim。
Mr。Williamwasthere，givingafarewelldinnertohisfriendMr。
James（nowSirJames）。ThesetwoaskedMr。Titmarshtojoincompanywiththem，andtheconversationnaturallyfelluponthetourMr。Jameswasabouttotake。ThePeninsularandOrientalCompanyhadarrangedanexcursionintheMediterranean，bywhich，inthespaceofacoupleofmonths，asmanymenandcitiesweretobeseenasUlyssessurveyedandnotedintenyears。Malta，Athens，Smyrna，Constantinople，Jerusalem，Cairoweretobevisited，andeverybodywastobebackinLondonbyLordMayor’sDay。
TheideaofbeholdingthesefamousplacesinflamedMr。Titmarsh’smind；andthecharmsofsuchajourneywereeloquentlyimpresseduponhimbyMr。James。\"Come，\"saidthatkindandhospitablegentleman，\"andmakeoneofmyfamilyparty；inallyourlifeyouwillneverprobablyhaveachanceagaintoseesomuchinsoshortatime。Consider——itisaseasyasajourneytoParisortoBaden。\"Mr。Titmarshconsideredallthesethings；butalsothedifficultiesofthesituation：hehadbutsix-and-thirtyhourstogetreadyforsoportentousajourney——hehadengagementsathome——
finally，couldheaffordit？Inspiteoftheseobjections，however，witheveryglassofclarettheenthusiasmsomehowrose，andthedifficultiesvanished。
ButwhenMr。James，tocrownall，saidhehadnodoubtthathisfriends，theDirectorsofthePeninsularandOrientalCompany，wouldmakeMr。Titmarshthepresentofaberthforthevoyage，allobjectionsceasedonhispart：tobreakhisoutstandingengagements——towriteletterstohisamazedfamily，statingthattheywerenottoexpecthimatdinneronSaturdayfortnight，ashewouldbeatJerusalemonthatday——topurchaseeighteenshirtsandlayinaseastockofRussiaducks，——wastheworkoffour-and-
twentyhours；andonthe22ndofAugust，the\"LadyMaryWood\"wassailingfromSouthamptonwiththe\"subjectofthepresentmemoir，\"
quiteastonishedtofindhimselfoneofthepassengersonboard。
Theseimportantstatementsaremadepartlytoconvincesomeincredulousfriends——whoinsiststillthatthewriterneverwentabroadatall，andwrotethefollowingpages，outofpurefancy，inretirementatPutney；butmainly，togivehimanopportunityofthankingtheDirectorsoftheCompanyinquestionforadelightfulexcursion。
Itwasonesoeasy，socharming，andIthinkprofitable——itleavessuchastoreofpleasantrecollectionsforafterdays——andcreatessomanynewsourcesofinterest（anewspaperletterfromBeyrout，orMalta，orAlgiers，hastwicetheinterestnowthatithadformerly），——thatIcan’tbutrecommendallpersonswhohavetimeandmeanstomakeasimilarjourney——vacationidlerstoextendtheirtravelsandpursueit：aboveall，youngwell-educatedmenenteringlife，totakethiscourse，wewillsay，afterthatatcollege；and，havingtheirbook-learningfreshintheirminds，seethelivingpeopleandtheircities，andtheactualaspectofNature，alongthefamousshoresoftheMediterranean。
CHAPTERI：VIGO
Thesunbroughtallthesickpeopleoutoftheirberthsthismorning，andtheindescribablemoansandnoiseswhichhadbeenissuingfrombehindthefinepainteddoorsoneachsideofthecabinhappilyceased。Longbeforesunrise，Ihadthegoodfortunetodiscoverthatitwasnolongernecessarytomaintainthehorizontalposture，and，theveryinstantthistruthwasapparent，cameondeck，attwoo’clockinthemorning，toseeanoblefullmoonsinkingwestward，andmillionsofthemostbrilliantstarsshiningoverhead。Thenightwassoserenelypure，thatyousawtheminmagnificentairyperspective；theblueskyaroundandoverthem，andothermoredistantorbssparklingabove，tilltheyglitteredawayfaintlyintotheimmeasurabledistance。Theshipwentrollingoveraheavy，sweltering，calmsea。Thebreezewasawarmandsoftone；quitedifferenttotherigidairwehadleftbehindus，twodayssince，offtheIsleofWight。Thebellkepttollingitshalf-hours，andthemateexplainedthemysteryofwatchanddog-watch。
Thesightofthatnoblescenecuredallthewoesanddiscomfituresofsea-sicknessatonce，andiftherewereanyneedtocommunicatesuchsecretstothepublic，onemighttellofmuchmoregoodthatthepleasantmorning-watcheffected；butthereareasetofemotionsaboutwhichamanhadbestbeshyoftalkinglightly，——andthefeelingsexcitedbycontemplatingthisvast，magnificent，harmoniousNatureareamongthese。Theviewofitinspiresadelightandecstasywhichisnotonlyhardtodescribe，butwhichhassomethingsecretinitthatamanshouldnotutterloudly。
Hope，memory，humility，tenderyearningstowardsdearfriends，andinexpressibleloveandreverencetowardsthePowerwhichcreatedtheinfiniteuniverseblazingaboveeternally，andthevastoceanshiningandrollingaround——filltheheartwithasolemnhumblehappiness，thatapersondwellinginacityhasrarelyoccasiontoenjoy。TheyarecomingawayfromLondonpartiesatthistime：thedearlittleeyesareclosedinsleepundermother’swing。Howfaroffcitycaresandpleasuresappeartobe！howsmallandmeantheyseem，dwindlingoutofsightbeforethismagnificentbrightnessofNature！Butthebestthoughtsonlygrowandstrengthenunderit。
Heavenshinesabove，andthehumblespiritlooksupreverentlytowardsthatboundlessaspectofwisdomandbeauty。Youareathome，andwithallatrestthere，howeverfarawaytheymaybe；andthroughthedistancetheheartbroodsoverthem，brightandwakefullikeyonderpeacefulstarsoverhead。
Thedaywasasfineandcalmasthenight；atsevenbells，suddenlyabellbegantotollverymuchlikethatofacountrychurch，andongoingondeckwefoundanawningraised，adeskwithaflagflungoveritclosetothecompass，andtheship’scompanyandpassengersassembledtheretoheartheCaptainreadtheServiceinamanlyrespectfulvoice。This，too，wasanovelandtouchingsighttome。Peakedridgesofpurplemountainsrosetotheleftoftheship，——FinisterreandthecoastofGalicia。Theskyabovewascloudlessandshining；thevastdarkoceansmiledpeacefullyroundabout，andtheshipwentrollingoverit，asthepeoplewithinwerepraisingtheMakerofall。
Inhonouroftheday，itwasannouncedthatthepassengerswouldberegaledwithchampagneatdinner；andaccordinglythatexhilaratingliquorwasservedoutindecentprofusion，thecompanydrinkingtheCaptain’shealthwiththecustomaryorationsofcomplimentandacknowledgment。Thisfeastwasscarcelyended，whenwefoundourselvesroundingtheheadlandintoVigoBay，passingagrimandtallislandofrockymountainswhichliesinthecentreofthebay。
Whetheritisthatthesightoflandisalwayswelcometowearymariners，aftertheperilsandannoyancesofavoyageofthreedays，orwhethertheplaceisinitselfextraordinarilybeautiful，neednotbeargued；butIhaveseldomseenanythingmorecharmingthantheamphitheatreofnoblehillsintowhichtheshipnowcame——
allthefeaturesofthelandscapebeinglightedupwithawonderfulclearnessofair，whichrarelyadornsaviewinourcountry。Thesunhadnotyetset，butoverthetownandloftyrockycastleofVigoagreatghostofamoonwasfaintlyvisible，whichblazedoutbrighterandbrighterasthesuperiorluminaryretiredbehindthepurplemountainsoftheheadlandtorest。Beforethegeneralbackgroundofwavingheightswhichencompassedthebay，roseasecondsemicircleofundulatinghills，ascheerfulandgreenasthemountainsbehindthemweregreyandsolemn。Farmsandgardens，conventtowers，whitevillagesandchurches，andbuildingsthatnodoubtwerehermitagesonce，uponthesharppeaksofthehills，shonebrightlyinthesun。Thesightwasdelightfullycheerful，animated，andpleasing。
PresentlytheCaptainroaredoutthemagicwords，\"Stopher！\"andtheobedientvesselcametoastand-still，atsomethreehundredyardsfromthelittletown，withitswhitehousesclamberinguparock，defendedbythesuperiormountainwhereonthecastlestands。
Numbersofpeople，arrayedinvariousbrilliantcoloursofred，werestandingonthesandclosebythetumbling，shining，purplewaves：andtherewebeheld，forthefirsttime，theRoyalredandyellowstandardofSpainfloatingonitsownground，undertheguardianshipofalightbluesentinel，whosemusketglitteredinthesun。Numerousboatswereseen，incontinently，toputofffromthelittleshore。
Andnowourattentionwaswithdrawnfromthelandtoasightofgreatsplendouronboard。ThiswasLieutenantBundy，theguardianofHerMajesty’smails，whoissuedfromhiscabininhislongswallow-tailedcoatwithanchorbuttons；hissabreclatteringbetweenhislegs；amagnificentshirt-collar，ofseveralinchesinheight，risingroundhisgood-humouredsallowface；andaboveitacockedhat，thatshoneso，Ithoughtitwasmadeofpolishedtin（itmayhavebeenthatoroilskin），handsomelylacedwithblackworsted，andornamentedwithashininggoldcord。Alittlesquatboat，rowedbythreeraggedgallegos，camebouncinguptotheship。
IntothisMr。BundyandHerMajesty’sRoyalmailembarkedwithmuchmajesty；andinthetwinklingofaneye，theRoyalstandardofEngland，aboutthesizeofapocket-handkerchief，——andatthebowsoftheboat，theman-of-war’spennant，beingastripofbuntingconsiderablyunderthevalueofafarthing，——streamedout。
\"Theyknowthatflag，sir，\"saidthegood-naturedoldtar，quitesolemnly，intheeveningafterwards：\"theyrespectit，sir。\"TheauthorityofHerMajesty’slieutenantonboardthesteamerisstatedtobesotremendous，thathemayorderittostop，tomove，togolarboard，starboard，orwhatyouwill；andthecaptaindareonlydisobeyhimsuopericulo。
Itwasagreedthatapartyofusshouldlandforhalf-an-hour，andtasterealSpanishchocolateonSpanishground。WefollowedLieutenantBundy，buthumblyintheprovidor’sboat；thatofficergoingonshoretopurchasefresheggs，milkfortea（inplaceoftheslimysubstituteofwhippedyolkofeggwhichwehadbeenusingforourmorningandeveningmeals），and，ifpossible，oysters，forwhichitissaidtherocksofVigoarefamous。
Itwaslowtide，andtheboatcouldnotgetuptothedryshore。
Henceitwasnecessarytotakeadvantageoftheoffersofsundrygallegos，whorushedbareleggedintothewater，tolandontheirshoulders。Theapprovedmethodseemstobe，tositupononeshoulderonly，holdingonbytheporter’swhiskers；andthoughsomeofourpartywereofthetallestandfattestmenwhereofourraceiscomposed，andtheirlivingsedansexceedinglymeagreandsmall，yetallwerelandedwithoutaccidentuponthejuicysand，andforthwithsurroundedbyahostofmendicants，screaming，\"Isay，sir！penny，sir！Isay，English！tamyourays！penny！\"inallvoices，fromextremeyouthtothemostlousyandvenerableoldage。
WhenitissaidthatthesebeggarswereasraggedasthoseofIreland，andstillmorevoluble，theIrishtravellerwillbeabletoformanopinionoftheircapabilities。
Throughthiscrowdwepassedupsomesteeprockysteps，throughalittlelowgate，where，inalittleguard-houseandbarrack，afewdirtylittlesentinelswerekeepingadirtylittleguard；andbylow-roofedwhitewashedhouses，withbalconies，andwomeninthem，——
theverysamewomen，withtheverysamehead-clothes，andyellowfansandeyes，atonceslyandsolemn，whichMurillopainted，——byaneatchurchintowhichwetookapeep，and，finally，intothePlazadelConstitucion，orgrandplaceofthetown，whichmaybeaboutasbigasthatpleasingsquare，PumpCourt，Temple。Weweretakentoaninn，ofwhichIforgetthename，andwereshownfromonechamberandstoreytoanother，tillwearrivedatthatapartmentwheretherealSpanishchocolatewasfinallytobeservedout。Alltheseroomswereascleanasscrubbingandwhitewashcouldmakethem；
withsimpleFrenchprints（withSpanishtitles）onthewalls；afewricketyhalf-finishedarticlesoffurniture；and，finally，anairofextremelyrespectablepoverty。Ajolly，black-eyed，yellow-
shawledDulcineaconductedusthroughtheapartment，andprovideduswiththedesiredrefreshment。
SoundsofclarionsdrewoureyestothePlaceoftheConstitution；
and，indeed，Ihadforgottentosay，thatthatmajesticsquarewasfilledwithmilitary，withexceedinglysmallfirelocks，themenludicrouslyyounganddiminutiveforthemostpart，inauniformatoncecheapandtawdry，——likethosesuppliedtothewarriorsatAstley’s，orfromstillhumblertheatricalwardrobes：indeed，thewholescenewasjustlikethatofalittletheatre；thehousescuriouslysmall，witharcadesandbalconies，outofwhichlookedwomenapparentlyagreatdealtoobigforthechamberstheyinhabited；thewarriorswereinginghams，cottons，andtinsel；theofficershadhugeepauletsofshamsilverlacedroopingovertheirbosoms，andlookedasiftheywereattiredataverysmallexpense。
Onlythegeneral——thecaptain-general（Pooch，theytoldus，washisname：Iknownothow’tiswritteninSpanish）——waswellgotup，withasmarthat，arealfeather，hugestarsglitteringonhisportlychest，andtightsandbootsofthefirstorder。Presently，afteragooddealoftrumpeting，thelittlemenmarchedofftheplace，Poochandhisstaffcomingintotheveryinninwhichwewereawaitingourchocolate。
Thenwehadanopportunityofseeingsomeoftheciviliansofthetown。Threeorfourladiespassed，withfanandmantle；tothemcamethreeorfourdandies，dressedsmartlyintheFrenchfashion，withstrongJewishphysiognomies。Therewasone，asolemnleanfellowinblack，withhiscollarsextremelyturnedover，andholdingbeforehimalongivory-tippedebonycane，whotrippedalongthelittleplacewithasolemnsmirk，whichgaveoneanindescribablefeelingofthetruthof\"GilBlas，\"andofthosedelightfulbachelorsandlicentiateswhohaveappearedtousallinourdreams。
Infactwewerebuthalf-an-hourinthislittlequeerSpanishtown；
anditappearedlikeadream，too，oralittleshowgotuptoamuseus。Boom！thegunfiredattheendofthefunnylittleentertainment。Thewomenandthebalconies，thebeggarsandthewalkingMurillos，Poochandthelittlesoldiersintinsel，disappeared，andwereshutupintheirboxagain。Oncemorewewerecarriedonthebeggars’shouldersoutofftheshore，andwefoundourselvesagaininthegreatstalwartroast-beefworld；thestoutBritishsteamerbearingoutofthebay，whosepurplewatershadgrownmorepurple。Thesunhadsetbythistime，andthemoonabovewastwiceasbigandbrightasourdegeneratemoonsare。
Theprovidorhadalreadyreturnedwithhisfreshstores，andBundy’stinhatwaspoppedintoitscase，andhewalkingthedeckofthepacketdenudedoftails。Aswewentoutofthebay，occurredalittleincidentwithwhichthegreatincidentsofthedaymaybesaidtowindup。Wesawbeforeusalittlevessel，tumblingandplungingaboutinthedarkwatersofthebay，withabrightlightbeamingfromthemast。Itmadeforusataboutacoupleofmilesfromthetown，andcamecloseup，flouncingandbobbingintheveryjawsofthepaddle，whichlookedasifitwouldhaveseizedandtwirledroundthatlittleboatanditslight，anddestroyedthemforeverandever。Allthepassengers，ofcourse，camecrowdingtotheship’ssidetolookattheboldlittleboat。
\"ISAY！\"howledaman；\"Isay！——aword！——Isay！Pasagero！
Pasagero！Pasage-e-ero！\"Weweretwohundredyardsaheadbythistime。
\"Goon，\"saysthecaptain。
\"Youmaystopifyoulike，\"saysLieutenantBundy，exertinghistremendousresponsibility。Itisevidentthatthelieutenanthasasoftheart，andfeltforthepoordevilintheboatwhowashowlingsopiteously\"Pasagero！\"
Butthecaptainwasresolute。HisdutywasNOTtotakethemanup。
Hewasevidentlyanirregularcustomer——someonetryingtoescape，possibly。
Thelieutenantturnedaway，butdidnotmakeanyfurtherhints。
Thecaptainwasright；butweallfeltsomehowdisappointed，andlookedbackwistfullyatthelittleboat，jumpingupanddownfarasternnow；thepoorlittlelightshininginvain，andthepoorwretchwithinscreamingoutinthemostheartrendingaccentsalastfaintdesperate\"Isay！Pasagero-o！\"
Weallwentdowntotearathermelancholy；butthenewmilk，intheplaceofthatabominablewhippedegg，revivedusagain；andsoendedthegreateventsonboardthe\"LadyMaryWood\"steamer，onthe25thAugust，1844。
CHAPTERII：LISBON——CADIZ
Agreatmisfortunewhichbefallsamanwhohasbutasingledaytostayinatown，isthatfataldutywhichsuperstitionentailsuponhimofvisitingthechieflionsofthecityinwhichhemayhappentobe。Youmustgothroughtheceremony，howevermuchyoumaysightoavoidit；andhowevermuchyouknowthatthelionsinonecapitalroarverymuchlikethelionsinanother；thatthechurchesaremoreorlesslargeandsplendid，thepalacesprettyspacious，alltheworldover；andthatthereisscarcelyacapitalcityinthisEuropebuthasitspompousbronzestatueortwoofsomeperiwigged，hook-nosedemperor，inaRomanhabit，wavinghisbronzebatononhisbroad-flankedbrazencharger。WeonlysawthesestateoldlionsinLisbon，whoseroarhaslongsinceceasedtofrightenone。FirstwewenttotheChurchofSt。Roch，toseeafamouspieceofmosaic-workthere。Itisafamousworkofart，andwasboughtbyIdon’tknowwhatkingforIdon’tknowhowmuchmoney。
Allthisinformationmaybeperfectlyreliedon，thoughthefactis，wedidnotseethemosaic-work：thesacristan，whoguardsit，wasyetinbed；anditwasveiledfromoureyesinaside-chapelbygreatdirtydamaskcurtains，whichcouldnotberemoved，exceptwhenthesacristan’stoilettewasdone，andatthepriceofadollar。Soweweresparedthismosaicexhibition；andIthinkI
alwaysfeelrelievedwhensuchaneventoccurs。IfeelIhavedonemydutyincomingtoseetheenormousanimal：ifheisnotathome，virtutemeame，&c。——wehavedoneourbest，andmortalcandonomore。
Inordertoreachthatchurchoftheforbiddenmosaic，wehadsweatedupseveralmoststeepanddustystreets——hotanddusty，althoughitwasbutnineo’clockinthemorning。Thencetheguideconductedusintosomelittledust-powderedgardens，inwhichthepeoplemakebelievetoenjoytheverdure，andwhenceyoulookoveragreatpartofthearid，dreary，stonycity。Therewasnosmoke，asinhonestLondon，onlydust——dustoverthegaunthousesandthedismalyellowstripsofgardens。Manychurcheswerethere，andtallhalf-baked-lookingpublicedifices，thathadadry，uncomfortable，earth-quakylook，tomyidea。Theground-floorsofthespacioushousesbywhichwepassedseemedthecoolestandpleasantestportionsofthemansion。Theywerecellarsorwarehouses，forthemostpart，inwhichwhite-jacketedclerkssatsmokingeasycigars。Thestreetswereplasteredwithplacardsofabull-fight，totakeplacethenextevening（therewasnooperathatseason）；butitwasnotarealSpanishtauromachy——onlyatheatricalcombat，asyoucouldseebythepictureinwhichthehorsemanwascanteringoffatthreemilesanhour，thebulltrippingafterhimwithtipstohisgentlehorns。Mulesinterminable，andalmostallexcellentlysleekandhandsome，werepacingdowneverystreet：hereandthere，butlaterintheday，cameclatteringalongasmartrideronaprancingSpanishhorse；
andintheafternoonafewfamiliesmightbeseeninthequeerestold-fashionedlittlecarriages，drawnbytheirjollymulesandswingingbetween，orratherbefore，enormouswheels。
ThechurchesIsawwereofthefloridperiwigarchitecture——ImeanofthatpompouscauliflowerkindofornamentwhichwasthefashioninLouistheFifteenth’stime，atwhichunluckyperiodabuildingmaniaseemstohaveseizeduponmanyofthemonarchsofEurope，andinnumerablepublicedificeswereerected。Itseemstometohavebeentheperiodinallhistorywhensocietywastheleastnatural，andperhapsthemostdissolute；andIhavealwaysfanciedthatthebloatedartificialformsofthearchitecturepartakeofthesocialdisorganisationofthetime。Whocanrespectasimperingninny，grinninginaRomandressandafull-bottomedwig，whoismadetopassoffforahero？orafatwomaninahoop，andofamostdoubtfulvirtue，wholeersatyouasagoddess？Inthepalaceswhichwesaw，severalCourtallegorieswererepresented，which，atrociousastheywereinpointofart，mightyetservetoattracttheregardofthemoraliser。TherewereFaith，Hope，andCharityrestoringDonJohntothearmsofhishappyPortugal：therewereVirtue，Valour，andVictorysalutingDonEmanuel：Reading，Writing，andArithmetic（forwhatIknow，orsomemythologicnymphs）dancingbeforeDonMiguel——thepictureistherestill，attheAjuda；andahme！whereispoorMig？Well，itistheseStateliesandceremoniesthatwepersistingoingtosee；whereasamanwouldhaveamuchbetterinsightintoPortuguesemanners，byplantinghimselfatacorner，likeyonderbeggar，andwatchingtherealtransactionsoftheday。
AdrivetoBelemistheregularroutepractisedbythetravellerwhohastomakeonlyashortstay，andaccordinglyacoupleofcarriageswereprovidedforourparty，andweweredriventhroughthelongmerrystreetofBelem，peopledbyendlessstringsofmules，——bythousandsofgallegos，withwater-barrelsontheirshoulders，orloungingbythefountainstohire，——bytheLisbonandBelemomnibuses，withfourmules，jinglingalongatagoodpace；
anditseemedtometopresentafarmorelivelyandcheerful，thoughnotsoregular，anappearanceasthestatelyquartersofthecitywehadleftbehindus。Thelittleshopswereatfullwork——
themenbrown，well-dressed，manly，andhandsome：somuchcannot，Iamsorrytosay，besaidfortheladies，ofwhom，witheveryanxietytodoso，ourpartycouldnotperceiveasinglegood-
lookingspecimenallday。ThenobleblueTagusaccompaniesyouallalongthesethreemilesofbusypleasantstreet，whereofthechiefcharm，asIthought，wasitslookofgenuinebusiness——thatappearanceofcomfortwhichthecleverestCourt-architectneverknowshowtogive。
Thecarriages（thecanvasonewithfourseatsandthechaiseinwhichIdrove）werebroughtsuddenlyuptoagatewiththeRoyalarmsoverit；andherewewereintroducedtoasqueeranexhibitionastheeyehasoftenlookedon。Thiswasthestate-carriagehouse，wherethereisamuseumofhugeoldtumble-downgildedcoachesofthelastcentury，lyinghere，mouldyanddark，inasortoflimbo。
Thegoldhasvanishedfromthegreatlumberingoldwheelsandpanels；thevelvetsarewofullytarnished。Whenonethinksofthepatchesandpowderthathavesimperedoutofthoseplate-glasswindows——themitredbishops，thebig-wiggedmarshals，theshovel-
hattedabbeswhichtheyhaveborneintheirtime——thehumanmindbecomesaffectedinnoordinarydegree。Somehumanmindsheaveasighforthegloriesofbygonedays；whileothers，consideringrathertheliesandhumbug，theviceandservility，whichwentframedandglazedandenshrined，creakingalonginthoseoldJuggernautcars，withfoolsworshippingunderthewheels，consolethemselvesforthedecayofinstitutionsthatmayhavebeensplendidandcostly，butwereponderous，clumsy，slow，andunfitfordailywear。Theguardianofthesedefunctoldcarriagestellssomeprodigiousfibsconcerningthem：hepointedoutonecarriagethatwassixhundredyearsoldinhiscalendar；butanyconnoisseurinbric-a-braccanseeitwasbuiltatParisintheRegentOrleans’
time。
Henceitisbutasteptoaninstitutioninfulllifeandvigour，——
anobleorphan-schoolforonethousandboysandgirls，foundedbyDonPedro，whogaveuptoitsusethesuperbconventofBelem，withitssplendidcloisters，vastairydormitories，andmagnificentchurch。SomeOxfordgentlemenwouldhavewepttoseethedesecratededifice，——tothinkthattheshavenpollsandwhitegownswerebanishedfromittogiveplacetoathousandchildren，whohavenoteventheclergytoinstructthem。\"Everyladheremaychoosehistrade，\"ourlittleinformantsaid，whoaddressedusinbetterFrenchthananyofourpartyspoke，whosemannerswereperfectlygentlemanlikeandrespectful，andwhoseclothes，thoughofacommoncottonstuff，werecutandwornwithamilitaryneatnessandprecision。Allthechildrenwhomweremarkedweredressedwithsimilarneatness，anditwasapleasuretogothroughtheirvariousroomsforstudy，wheresomewerebusyatmathematics，someatdrawing，someattendingalectureontailoring，whileothersweresittingatthefeetofaprofessorofthescienceofshoemaking。Allthegarmentsoftheestablishmentweremadebythepupils；eventhedeafanddumbweredrawingandreading，andtheblindwere，forthemostpart，settoperformonmusicalinstruments，andgotupaconcertforthevisitors。Itwasthenwewishedourselvesofthenumbersofthedeafanddumb，forthepoorfellowsmadenoisessohorrible，thatevenasblindbeggarstheycouldhardlygetalivelihoodinthemusicalway。
HenceweweredriventothehugepalaceofNecessidades，whichisbutawingofabuildingthatnoKingofPortugaloughtevertoberichenoughtocomplete，andwhich，ifperfect，mightoutvietheTowerofBabel。TheminesofBrazilmusthavebeenproductiveofgoldandsilverindeedwhenthefounderimaginedthisenormousedifice。Fromtheelevationonwhichitstandsitcommandsthenoblestviews，——thecityisspreadbeforeit，withitsmanychurchesandtowers，andformanymilesyouseethemagnificentTagus，rollingbybankscrownedwithtreesandtowers。Buttoarriveatthisenormousbuildingyouhavetoclimbasteepsuburbofwretchedhuts，manyofthemwithdismalgardensofdrycrackedearth，whereafewreedysproutsofIndiancornseemedtobethechiefcultivation，andwhichwereguardedbyhugeplantsofspikyaloes，onwhichtheragsoftheproprietorsofthehutsweresunningthemselves。Theterracebeforethepalacewassimilarlyencroacheduponbythesewretchedhabitations。Afewmillionsjudiciouslyexpendedmightmakeofthisaridhilloneofthemostmagnificentgardensintheworld；andthepalaceseemstometoexcelforsituationanyRoyaledificeIhaveeverseen。Butthehutsoftheseswarmingpoorhavecrawledupclosetoitsgates，——
thesuperbwallsofhewnstonestopallofasuddenwithalath-
and-plasterhitch；andcapitals，andhewnstonesforcolumns，stilllyingaboutonthedesertedterrace，mayliethereforagestocome，probably，andnevertaketheirplacesbythesideoftheirbrethreninyondertallbankruptgalleries。Theairofthispureskyhaslittleeffectupontheedifices，——theedgesofthestonelookassharpasifthebuildershadjustlefttheirwork；andclosetothegrandentrancestandsanoutbuilding，partofwhichmayhavebeenburntfiftyyearsago，butisinsuchcheerfulpreservationthatyoumightfancythefirehadoccurredyesterday。
Itmusthavebeenanawfulsightfromthishilltohavelookedatthecityspreadbeforeit，andseenitreelingandswayinginthetimeoftheearthquake。Ithoughtitlookedsohotandshaky，thatonemightfancyareturnofthefit。Inseveralplacesstillremaingapsandchasms，andruinsliehereandthereastheycrackedandfell。
Althoughthepalacehasnotattainedanythinglikeitsfullgrowth，yetwhatexistsisquitebigenoughforthemonarchofsuchalittlecountry；andVersaillesorWindsorhasnotapartmentsmorenoblyproportioned。TheQueenresidesintheAjuda，abuildingofmuchlesspretensions，ofwhichtheyellowwallsandbeautifulgardensareseenbetweenBelemandthecity。TheNecessidadesareonlyusedforgrandgalas，receptionsofambassadors，andceremoniesofstate。Inthethrone-roomisahugethrone，surmountedbyanenormousgiltcrown，thanwhichIhaveneverseenanythinglargerinthefinestpantomimeatDruryLane；buttheeffectofthissplendidpieceislessenedbyashabbyoldBrusselscarpet，almosttheonlyotherarticleoffurnitureintheapartment，andnotquitelargeenoughtocoveritsspaciousfloor。
TheloomsofKidderminsterhavesuppliedthewebwhichornamentsthe\"Ambassadors’Waiting-Room，\"andtheceilingsarepaintedwithhugeallegoriesindistemper，whichprettywellcorrespondwiththeotherfurniture。Ofalltheundignifiedobjectsintheworld，apalaceoutatelbowsissurelythemeanest。Suchplacesoughtnottobeseeninadversity，——splendouristheirdecency，——andwhennolongerabletomaintainit，theyshouldsinktotheleveloftheirmeans，calmlysubsideintomanufactories，orgoshabbyinseclusion。
Thereisapicture-gallerybelongingtothepalacethatisquiteofapiecewiththefurniture，wherearethemythologicalpiecesrelativetothekingsbeforealludedto，andwheretheEnglishvisitorwillseesomeastonishingpicturesoftheDukeofWellington，doneinaverycharacteristicstyleofPortugueseart。
Thereisalsoachapel，whichhasbeendecoratedwithmuchcareandsumptuousnessofornament——thealtarsurmountedbyaghastlyandhorriblecarvedfigureinthetasteofthetimewhenfaithwasstrengthenedbytheshrieksofJewsontherack，andenlivenedbytheroastingofheretics。Othersuchfrightfulimagesmaybeseeninthechurchesofthecity；thosewhichwesawwerestillrich，tawdry，andsplendidtooutwardshow，althoughtheFrench，asusual，hadrobbedtheirshrinesoftheirgoldandsilver，andthestatuesoftheirjewelsandcrowns。Butbrassandtinsellooktothevisitorfullaswellatalittledistance，——asdoubtlessSoultandJunotthought，whentheydespoiledtheseplacesofworship，likeFrenchphilosophersastheywere。
Afriend，withaclassicalturnofmind，wasbentuponseeingtheaqueduct，whitherwewentonadismalexcursionofthreehours，intheworstcarriages，overthemostdiabolicalclatteringroads，upanddowndrearyparchedhills，onwhichgrewafewgreyolive-treesandmanyaloes。Whenwearrived，thegateleadingtotheaqueductwasclosed，andwewereentertainedwithalegendofsomerespectablecharacterwhohadmadeagoodlivelihoodthereforsometimepastlately，havingaprivatekeytothisveryaqueduct，andlyinginwaitthereforunwarytravellerslikeourselves，whomhepitcheddownthearchesintotheravinesbelow，andthererobbedthematleisure。Sothatallwesawwasthedoorandthetallarchesoftheaqueduct，andbythetimewereturnedtotownitwastimetogoonboardtheshipagain。Iftheinnatwhichwehadsojournedwasnotofthebestquality，thebill，atleast，wouldhavedonehonourtothefirstestablishmentinLondon。Weallleftthehouseofentertainmentjoyfully，gladtogetoutofthesun-
burntcityandgoHOME。Yonderinthesteamerwashome，withitsblackfunnelandgiltportraitureof\"LadyMaryWood\"atthebows；
andeverysoulonboardfeltgladtoreturntothefriendlylittlevessel。ButtheauthoritiesofLisbon，however，areverysuspiciousofthedepartingstranger，andweweremadetolieanhourintheriverbeforetheSanitaboat，whereapassportisnecessarytobeprocuredbeforethetravellercanquitthecountry。
Boatafterboatladenwithpriestsandpeasantry，withhandsomered-sashedgallegoscladinbrown，andill-favouredwomen，cameandgottheirpermits，andwereoff，aswelaybumpingupagainsttheoldhulloftheSanitaboat；buttheofficersseemedtotakeadelightinkeepingustherebumping，lookedatusquitecalmlyovertheship’ssides，andsmokedtheircigarswithouttheleastattentiontotheprayerswhichweshriekedoutforrelease。
IfweweregladtogetawayfromLisbon，wewerequiteassorrytobeobligedtoquitCadiz，whichwereachedthenextnight，andwherewewereallowedacoupleofhours’leavetolandandlookabout。Itseemedashandsomewithinasitisstatelywithout；thelongnarrowstreetsofanadmirablecleanliness，manyofthetallhousesofrichandnobledecorations，andalllookingasifthecitywereinfullprosperity。Ihaveseennomorecheerfulandanimatedsightthanthelongstreetleadingfromthequaywherewewerelanded，andthemarketblazinginsunshine，piledwithfruit，fish，andpoultry，undermany-colouredawnings；thetallwhitehouseswiththeirbalconiesandgalleriesshiningroundabout，andtheskyabovesobluethatthebestcobaltinallthepaint-boxlooksmuddyanddimincomparisontoit。Therewerepicturesforayearinthatmarket-place——fromthecopper-colouredoldhagsandbeggarswhoroaredtoyoufortheloveofHeaventogivemoney，totheswaggeringdandiesofthemarket，withredsashesandtightclothes，lookingonsuperbly，withahandonthehipandacigarinthemouth。Thesemustbethechiefcriticsatthegreatbull-fighthouseyonderbytheAlameda，withitsscantytrees，andcoolbreezesfacingthewater。Norarethereanycorkstothebulls’
hornshere，asatLisbon。AsmalloldEnglishguidewhoseizeduponmethemomentmyfootwasonshore，hadastoreofagreeablelegendsregardingthebulls，men，andhorsesthathadbeenkilledwithunboundedprofusioninthelateentertainmentswhichhavetakenplace。
Itwassoearlyanhourinthemorningthattheshopswerescarcelyopenedasyet；thechurches，however，stoodopenforthefaithful，andwemetscoresofwomentrippingtowardsthemwithprettyfeet，andsmartblackmantillas，fromwhichlookedoutfinedarkeyesandhandsomepalefaces，verydifferentfromthecoarsebrowncountenanceswehadseenatLisbon。Averyhandsomemoderncathedral，builtbythepresentbishopathisowncharges，wasthefinestofthepublicedificeswesaw；itwasnot，however，nearlysomuchfrequentedasanotherlittlechurch，crowdedwithaltarsandfantasticornaments，andlightsandgilding，whereweweretoldtolookbehindahugeirongrille，andbeheldabevyofblacknunskneeling。Mostofthegoodladiesinthefrontranksstoppedtheirdevotions，andlookedatthestrangerswithasmuchcuriosityaswedirectedatthemthroughthegloomybarsoftheirchapel。Themen’sconventsareclosed；thatwhichcontainsthefamousMurilloshasbeenturnedintoanacademyofthefinearts；buttheEnglishguidedidnotthinkthepictureswereofsufficientinteresttodetainstrangers，andsohurriedusbacktotheshore，andgrumbledatonlygettingthreeshillingsatpartingforhistroubleandhisinformation。AndsoourresidenceinAndalusiabeganandendedbeforebreakfast，andwewentonboardandsteamedforGibraltar，looking，aswepassed，atJoinville’sblacksquadron，andthewhitehousesofSt。Mary’sacrossthebay，withthehillsofMedinaSidoniaandGranadalyingpurplebeyondthem。There’ssomethingeveninthosenameswhichispleasanttowritedown；tohavepassedonlytwohoursinCadizissomething——tohaveseenrealdonnaswithcombandmantle——realcaballeroswithcloakandcigar——realSpanishbarberslatheringoutofbrassbasins——andtohaveheardguitarsunderthebalconies：therewasonethatanoldbeggarwasjanglinginthemarket，whilstahugeleeringfellowinbushywhiskersandafadedvelvetdresscamesingingandjumpingafterourparty，——notsingingtoaguitar，itistrue，butimitatingonecapitallywithhisvoice，andcrackinghisfingersbywayofcastanets，andperformingadancesuchasFigaroorLablachemightenvy。Howclearthatfellow’svoicethrumsontheearevennow；andhowbrightandpleasantremainstherecollectionofthefinecityandthebluesea，andtheSpanishflagsfloatingontheboatsthatdancedoverit，andJoinville’sbandbeginningtoplaystirringmarchesaswepuffedoutofthebay。
ThenextstagewasGibraltar，whereweweretochangehorses。
BeforesunsetweskirtedalongthedarksavagemountainsoftheAfricancoast，andcametotheRockjustbeforegun-fire。Itistheveryimageofanenormouslion，crouchedbetweentheAtlanticandtheMediterranean，andsettheretoguardthepassageforitsBritishmistress。ThenextBritishlionisMalta，fourdaysfurtheronintheMidlandSea，andreadytospringuponEgyptorpounceuponSyria，orroarsoastobeheardatMarseillesincaseofneed。
Totheeyesofthecivilianthefirst-namedofthesefamousfortificationsisbyfarthemostimposing。TheRocklookssotremendous，thattoascendit，evenwithoutthecomplimentofshellsorshot，seemsadreadfultask——whatwoulditbewhenallthosemysteriouslinesofbatterieswerevomitingfireandbrimstone；whenallthosedarkgunsthatyouseepokingtheirgrimheadsoutofeveryimaginablecleftandzigzagshouldsaluteyouwithshot，bothhotandcold；andwhen，aftertuggingupthehideousperpendicularplace，youweretofindregimentsofBritishgrenadiersreadytoplungebayonetsintoyourpoorpantingstomach，andletoutartificiallythelittlebreathleftthere？Itisamarveltothinkthatsoldierswillmountsuchplacesforashilling——ensignsforfiveandninepence——aday：acabmanwouldaskdoublethemoneytogohalfway！Onemeeklyreflectsupontheabovestrangetruths，leaningovertheship’sside，andlookingupthehugemountain，fromthetowernestledatthefootofittothethinflagstaffatthesummit，uptowhichhavebeenpiledthemostingeniousedificesformurderChristianscienceeveradopted。Myhobby-horseisaquietbeast，suitedforParkriding，oragentletrottoPutneyandbacktoasnugstable，andplentyoffeedsofcorn：-itcan’tabideclimbinghills，andisnotatallusedtogunpowder。Somemen’sanimalsaresospiritedthattheveryappearanceofastone-wallsetsthemjumpingatit：regularchargersofhobbies，whichsnortandsay\"Ha，ha！\"atthemerenotionofabattle。
CHAPTERIII：THE\"LADYMARYWOOD\"
Ourweek’svoyageisnowdrawingtoaclose。WehavejustbeentolookatCapeTrafalgar，shiningwhiteoverthefinestbluesea。
（We，whowerelookingatTrafalgarSquareonlytheotherday！）ThesightofthatcapemusthavedisgustedJoinvilleandhisfleetofsteamers，astheypassedyesterdayintoCadizbay，andto-morrowwillgivethemasightofSt。Vincent。
Oneoftheirsteam-vesselshasbeenlostoffthecoastofAfrica；
theywereobligedtoburnher，lesttheMoorsshouldtakepossessionofher。Shewasavirginvessel，justoutofBrest。
Poorinnocent！todieintheveryfirstmonthofherunionwiththenoblewhiskeredgodofwar！
WeBritonsonboardtheEnglishboatreceivedthenewsofthe\"Groenenland’s\"abruptdemisewithgrinsofsatisfaction。Itwasasortofnationalcompliment，andcauseofagreeablecongratulation。
\"Thelubbers！\"wesaid；\"theclumsyhumbugs！there’snonebutBritonstorulethewaves！\"andwegaveourselvespiraticalairs，andwentdownpresentlyandweresickinourlittlebuggyberths。
Itwaspleasant，certainly，tolaughatJoinville’sadmiral’sflagfloatingathisforemast，inyonderblackship，withitstwothunderinggreatgunsatthebowsandstern，itsbusycrewswarmingonthedeck，andacrowdofobsequiousshore-boatsbustlingroundthevessel——andtosneerattheMogadorwarrior，andvowthatweEnglish，hadwebeeninclinedtodothebusiness，wouldhaveperformeditagreatdealbetter。
NowyesterdayatLisbonwesawH。M。S。\"Caledonia。\"THIS，onthecontrary，inspireduswithfeelingsofrespectandawfulpleasure。
Thereshelay——thehugesea-castle——bearingtheunconquerableflagofourcountry。Shehadbuttoopenherjaws，asitwere，andshemightbringasecondearthquakeonthecity——batteritintokingdom-come——withtheAjudapalaceandtheNecessidades，thechurches，andthelean，dry，emptystreets，andDonJohn，tremendousonhorseback，inthemidstofBlackHorseSquare。
Whereverwelookedwecouldseethatenormous\"Caledonia，\"withherflashingthreelinesofguns。Welookedatthelittleboatswhicheverandanoncameoutofthismonster，withhumblewonder。Therewasthelieutenantwhoboardedusatmidnightbeforewedroppedanchorintheriver：tenwhite-jacketedmenpullingasone，sweptalongwiththebarge，gig，boat，curricle，orcoach-and-six，withwhichhecameuptous。Weexaminedhim——hisredwhiskers——hiscollarsturneddown——hisducktrousers，hisbullionepaulets——withawe。Withthesamereverentialfeelingweexaminedtheseamen——theyounggentlemaninthebowsoftheboat——thehandsomeyoungofficersofmarineswemetsaunteringinthetownnextday——theScotchsurgeonwhoboardedusasweweighedanchor——everyman，downtothebroken-nosedmarinerwhowasdrunkinawine-house，andhad\"Caledonia\"writtenonhishat。WhereasattheFrenchmenwelookedwithundisguisedcontempt。WewerereadytoburstwithlaughteraswepassedthePrince’svessel——therewasalittleFrenchboyinaFrenchboatalongsidecleaningit，andtwirlingaboutalittleFrenchmop——wethoughtitthemostcomical，contemptibleFrenchboy，mop，boat，steamer，prince——Psha！itisofthiswretchedvapouringstuffthatfalsepatriotismismade。Iwritethisasasortofhomily’aproposoftheday，andCapeTrafalgar，offwhichwelie。WhatbusinesshaveItostrutthedeck，andclapmywings，andcry\"Cock-a-doodle-doo\"overit？Somecompatriotsareatthatworkevennow。
Wehavelostonebyoneallourjovialcompany。TherewerethefiveOportowine-merchants——allheartyEnglishgentlemen——gonetotheirwine-butts，andtheirred-leggedpartridges，andtheirduelsatOporto。ItappearsthatthesegallantBritonsfighteverymorningamongthemselves，andgivethebenightedpeopleamongwhomtheyliveanopportunitytoadmirethespiritnational。Thereisthebravehonestmajor，withhiswoodenleg——thekindestandsimplestofIrishmen：hehasembracedhischildren，andreviewedhislittleinvalidgarrisonoffifteenmen，inthefortwhichhecommandsatBelem，bythistime，and，Ihavenodoubt，playedtoeverysoulofthemthetwelvetunesofhismusical-box。Itwaspleasanttoseehimwiththatmusical-box——howpleasedhewounditupafterdinner——howhappilyhelistenedtothelittleclinkingtunesastheygalloped，ding-dong，aftereachother！Amanwhocarriesamusical-boxisalwaysagood-naturedman。
ThentherewashisGrace，orhisGrandeur，theArchbishopofBeyrouth（inthepartsoftheinfidels），HisHoliness’sNunciototheCourtofHerMostFaithfulMajesty，andwhomingledamonguslikeanysimplemortal，——exceptthathehadanextrasmilingcourtesy，whichsimplemortalsdonotalwayspossess；andwhenyoupassedhimassuch，andpuffedyourcigarinhisface，tookoffhishatwithagrinofsuchprodigiousrapture，astoleadyoutosupposethatthemostdeliciousprivilegeofhiswholelifewasthatpermissiontolookatthetipofyournoseorofyourcigar。
WiththismostreverendprelatewashisGrace’sbrotherandchaplain——averygreasyandgood-naturedecclesiastic，who，fromhisphysiognomy，IwouldhaveimaginedtobeadignitaryoftheIsraelitishratherthantheRomishChurch——asprofuseinsmilingcourtesyashisLordshipofBeyrouth。Thesetwohadameeklittlesecretarybetweenthem，andatallFrenchcookandvalet，who，atmealtimes，mightbeseenbusyaboutthecabinwheretheirreverenceslay。Theywereontheirbacksforthegreaterpartofthevoyage；theiryellowcountenanceswerenotonlyunshaven，but，tojudgefromappearances，unwashed。Theyateinprivate；anditwasonlyofevenings，asthesunwassettingoverthewesternwave，and，comfortedbythedinner，thecabin-passengersassembledonthequarter-deck，thatwesawthedarkfacesofthereverendgentlemenamongusforawhile。Theysankdarklyintotheirberthswhenthesteward’sbelltolledfortea。
AtLisbon，wherewecametoanchoratmidnight，aspecialboatcameoff，whereofthecrewexhibitedeverytokenofreverencefortheambassadoroftheambassadorofHeaven，andcarriedhimofffromourcompany。Thisabruptdepartureinthedarknessdisappointedsomeofus，whohadpromisedourselvesthepleasureofseeinghisGrandeurdepartinstateinthemorning，shaved，clean，andinfullpontificals，thetrippinglittlesecretaryswinginganincense-potbeforehim，andthegreasychaplainbearinghiscrosier。
Nextdaywehadanotherbishop，whooccupiedtheverysameberthhisGraceofBeyrouthhadquitted——wassickintheverysameway——
somuchsothatthiscabinofthe\"LadyMaryWood\"istobechristened\"thebishop’sberth\"henceforth；andahandsomemitreistobepaintedonthebasin。
BishopNo。2wasaverystout，soft，kind-lookingoldgentleman，inasquarecap，withahandsometasselofgreenandgoldroundhisportlybreastandback。Hewasdressedinblackrobesandtightpurplestockings：andwecarriedhimfromLisbontothelittleflatcoastofFaro，ofwhichthemeekoldgentlemanwasthechiefpastor。
Wehadnotbeenhalf-an-hourfromouranchorageintheTagus，whenhisLordshipdiveddownintotheepiscopalberth。Allthatnighttherewasagoodsmartbreeze；itblewfreshallthenextday，aswewentjumpingoverthebluebrightsea；andtherewasnosignofhisLordshipthebishopuntilwewereoppositethepurplehillsofAlgarve，whichlaysometenmilesdistant，——ayellowsunnyshorestretchingflatbeforethem，whoselongsandyflatsandvillageswecouldseewithourtelescopefromthesteamer。