第8章
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  Avitor!

  Myotherfailuresletmepass:

  Thedireexplosions,and,alas!

  ThefriendsIchokedwithnoxiousgas。

  Avitor!

  Forlo!IseeperfectedriseThevisionofmyboyisheyes,Themessengerofupperskies。

  Avitor!

  THEWILLOWS

  (AFTEREDGARALLANPOE)

  Theskiestheywereashenandsober,Thestreetstheyweredirtyanddrear;

  ItwasnightinthemonthofOctober,Ofmymostimmemorialyear。

  Liketheskies,Iwasperfectlysober,AsIstoppedatthemansionofShear,——

  AttheNightingale,——perfectlysober,Andthewillowywoodlanddownhere。

  Here,onceinanalleyTitanicOfTen-pins,Iroamedwithmysoul,——

  OfTen-pins,withMary,mysoul;

  Theyweredayswhenmyheartwasvolcanic,Andimpelledmetofrequentlyroll,Andmademeresistlesslyroll,Tillmyten-strikescreatedapanicIntherealmsoftheBorealpole,——

  Tillmyten-strikescreatedapanicWiththemonkeyatopofhispole。

  Irepeat,Iwasperfectlysober,Butmythoughtstheywerepalsiedandsear,——

  Mythoughtsweredecidedlyqueer;

  ForIknewnotthemonthwasOctober,AndImarkednotthenightoftheyear;

  IforgotthatsweetmorceauofAuberThatthebandoftperformeddownhere,AndImixedthesweetmusicofAuberWiththeNightingale’smusicbyShear。

  Andnowasthenightwassenescent,Andstar-dialspointedtomorn,Andcar-drivershintedofmorn,AttheendofthepathaliquescentAndbibulouslustrewasborn;

  ’Twasmadebythebar-keeperpresent,Whomixedaduplicatehorn,——

  HistwohandsdescribingacrescentDistinctwithaduplicatehorn。

  AndIsaid:\"Thislooksperfectlyregal,Forit’swarm,andIknowIfeeldry,——

  IamconfidentthatIfeeldry。

  Wehavecomepasttheemeuandeagle,Andwatchedthegaymonkeyonhigh;

  Letusdrinktotheemeuandeagle,Totheswanandthemonkeyonhigh,——

  Totheeagleandmonkeyonhigh;

  Forthisbar-keeperwillnotinveigle,Bullyboywiththevitreouseye,——

  Hesurelywouldneverinveigle,Sweetyouthwiththecrystallineeye。\"

  ButMary,upliftingherfinger,Said:\"SadlythisbarImistrust,——

  Ifearthatthisbardoesnottrust。

  Oh,hasten!oh,letusnotlinger!

  Oh,fly,——letusfly,——arewemust!\"

  Interrorshecried,lettingsinkherParasoltillittrailedinthedust;

  Inagonysobbed,lettingsinkherParasoltillittrailedinthedust,——

  Tillitsorrowfullytrailedinthedust。

  ThenIpacifiedMaryandkissedher,Andtemptedherintotheroom,Andconqueredherscruplesandgloom;

  Andwepassedtotheendofthevista,Butwerestoppedbythewarningofdoom,——

  Bysomewordsthatwerewarningofdoom。

  AndIsaid,\"Whatiswritten,sweetsister,Attheoppositeendoftheroom?\"

  Shesobbed,assheanswered,\"AllliquorsMustbepaidforereleavingtheroom。\"

  Thenmyheartitgrewashenandsober,Asthestreetsweredesertedanddrear,Formypocketswereemptyanddrear;

  AndIcried:\"ItwassurelyOctober,Onthisverynightoflastyear,ThatIjourneyed,Ijourneyeddownhere,——

  ThatIbroughtafairmaidendownhere,Onthisnightofallnightsintheyear!

  Ah!tomethatinscriptionisclear;

  WellIknownow,I’mperfectlysober,Whynolongertheycreditmehere,——

  WellIknownowthatmusicofAuber,AndthisNightingale,keptbyoneShear。\"

  NORTHBEACH

  (AFTERSPENSER)

  Lo!wherethecastleofboldPfeifferthrowsItssullenshadowontherollingtide,——

  Nomorethehomewherejoyandwealthrepose,Butnowwherewassailersincellsabide;

  Seeyonlongquaythatstretchesfarandwide,WellknowntocitizensaswharfofMeiggs:

  ThereeachsweetSabbathwalksinmaidenprideThepensiveMargaret,andbravePat,whoselegsEncasedinbroadclothoftkeeptimewithPeg’s。

  Herecomethoftthetendernursery-maid,Whileinherearherlovehistaledothpour;

  Meantimeherinfantdothherchargeevade,Andramblethsagelyonthesandyshore,Tilltheslysea-crab,lowinambushlaid,Seizethhislegandbitethhimfullsore。

  Ahme!whatsoundstheshudderingechoesboreWhenhissmalltreblemixedwithOcean’sroar!

  Hardbytherestandsanancienthostelrie,Andatitssideagarden,wherethebear,Thestealthycatamount,andcoonagreeToworkdeceitonallwhogatherthere;

  AndwhenAugusta——thatunconsciousfair——

  WithnutsandapplespliethBruinfree,Lo!thegreenparrotclawethherbackhair,AndthegraymonkeygrabbethfruitsthatsheOnhergaybonnetwears,andlaughethloudinglee!

  THELOSTTAILSOFMILETUS

  HighontheThracianhills,halfhidinthebillowsofclover,Thyme,andtheasphodelblooms,andlulledbyPactolianstreamlet,SheofMiletuslay,andbesideheranagedsatyrScratchedhisearwithhishoof,andplayfullymumbledhischestnuts。

  VainlytheMaenidandtheBassaridgamboledabouther,Thefree-eyedBacchantesang,andPan——therenowned,theaccomplished——Executedhisdifficultsolo。Invainweretheirgambolsanddances;

  Higho’ertheThracianhillsrosethevoiceoftheshepherdess,wailing:

  \"Ai!forthefleecyflocks,themeek-nosed,thepassionlessfaces;

  Ai!forthetallow-scented,thestraight-tailed,thehigh-stepping;

  Ai!forthetimidglance,whichisthatwhichtherustic,sagacious,Appliestohimwholovesbutmaynotdeclarehispassion!\"

  HerthenZeusansweredslow:\"Odaughterofsongandsorrow,Haplesstenderofsheep,arisefromthylonglamentation!

  Sincethoucanstnottrustfate,norbehaveasbecomesaGreekmaiden,Lookandbeholdthysheep。\"Andlo!theyreturnedtohertailless!

  THERITUALIST

  (BYACOMMUNICANTOF\"ST。JAMES’S\")

  Hewore,Ithink,achasuble,thedaywhenfirstwemet;

  Astoleandsnowyalblikewise,——Irecollectityet。

  Hecalledme\"daughter,\"asheraisedhisjeweledhandtobless;

  Andthen,inthrillingundertones,heasked,\"WouldIconfess?\"

  Omotherdear!blamenotyourchild,ifthenonbendedkneesIdropped,andthoughtofAbelard,andalsoEloise;

  Orwhen,besidethealtarhigh,hebowedbeforethepyx,Ienviedthatseraphickisshegavethecrucifix。

  Thecruelworldmaythinkitwrong,perhapsmaydeemmeweak,And,speakingofthatsaintedman,maycallhisconduct\"cheek;\"

  And,likethatwickedbarristerwhomCousinHarryquotes,Maytermhismixedchalice\"grog,\"hisvestments\"petticoats;\"

  But,whatsoe’ertheydoorsay,I’llbuildaChristian’shopeOnincenseandonaltar-lights,onchasubleandcope。

  Letothersprove,byprecedent,thefaiththattheyprofess:

  \"Hiscan’tbewrong\"that’ssymbolizedbysuchbecomingdress。

  AMORALVINDICATOR

  IfMr。Jones,LycurgusB。,Hadonepeculiarquality,’TwashissevereadvocacyOfconjugalfidelity。

  Hisviewsofheavenwereveryfree;

  HisviewsoflifewerepainfullyRidiculous;butferventlyHedweltonmarriagesanctity。

  Hefrequentlywentonaspree;

  Butinhiswildestrevelry,OnthisespecialsubjectheBetrayednoambiguity。

  AndthoughattimesLycurgusB。

  DidlayhishandsnotlovinglyUponhiswife,thesanctityOfwedlockwashisguaranty。

  ButMrs。JonesdeclinedtoseeAffairsinthesamelightashe,AndquietlygotadecreeDivorcingherfromthatL。B。

  AndwhatdidJones,LycurgusB。,Withhisknownidiosyncrasy?

  Hesmiled,——abittersmiletosee,——

  AnddrewtheweaponofBowie。

  HedidwhatSicklesdidtoKey,——

  WhatColeonHiscockwrought,didhe;

  Infact,onpersonstwenty-threeHeprovedthemarriagesanctity。

  Thecounselorwhotookthefee,Thewitnessesandreferee,Thejudgewhograntedthedecree,Diedinthatwholesalebutchery。

  AndthenwhenJones,LycurgusB。,HadwipedtheweaponofBowie,TwelvejurymendidinstantlyAcquitandsetLycurgusfree。

  CALIFORNIAMADRIGAL

  (ONTHEAPPROACHOFSPRING)

  Oh,come,mybeloved,fromthywinterabode,FromthyhomeontheYuba,thyranchoverflowed;

  Forthewatershavefallen,thewinterhasfled,Andtheriveroncemorehasreturnedtoitsbed。

  Oh,markhowthespringinitsbeautyisnear!

  Howthefencesandtulesoncemorereappear!

  HowsoftliesthemudonthebanksofyonsloughBytheholeintheleveethewatersbrokethrough!

  Allnature,dearChloris,isbloomingtogreetTheglanceofyoureyeandthetreadofyourfeet;

  Forthetrailsareallopen,theroadsareallfree,Andthehighwayman’swhistleisheardonthelea。

  Againswingsthelashonthehighmountaintrail,Andthepipeofthepackerisscentingthegale;

  Theoathandthejestringinghigho’ertheplain,Wherethesmutisnotalwaysconfinedtothegrain。

  Oncemoreglaresthesunlightonawningandroof,Oncemoretheredclay’spulverizedbythehoof,Oncemorethedustpowdersthe\"outsides\"withred,Oncemoreatthestationthewhiskeyisspread。

  Thenflywithme,love,erethesummer’sbegun,Andthemercurymountstoonehundredandone;

  Erethegrassnowsogreenshallbewitheredandsear,Inthespringthatobtainsbutonemonthintheyear。

  WHATTHEENGINESSAID

  (OPENINGOFTHEPACIFICRAILROAD)

  WhatwasittheEnginessaid,Pilotstouching,——headtoheadFacingonthesingletrack,Halfaworldbehindeachback?

  ThisiswhattheEnginessaid,Unreportedandunread。

  Withaprefatoryscreech,InafloridWesternspeech,SaidtheEnginefromtheWEST:

  \"IamfromSierra’screst;

  Andifaltitude’satest,Why,Ireckon,it’sconfessedThatI’vedonemylevelbest。\"

  SaidtheEnginefromtheEAST:

  \"Theywhoworkbesttalktheleast。

  S’poseyouwhistledownyourbrakes;

  Whatyou’vedoneisnogreatshakes,Prettyfair,——butletourmeetingBeadifferentkindofgreeting。

  Letthesefolkswithchampagnestuffing,NottheirEngines,dothePUFFING。

  \"Listen!WhereAtlanticbeatsShoresofsnowandsummerheats;

  WheretheIndianautumnskiesPaintthewoodswithwampumdyes,——

  Ihavechasedtheflyingsun,Seeingallhelookedupon,Blessingallthathehasblessed,NursinginmyironbreastAllhisvivifyingheat,Allhiscloudsaboutmycrest;

  AndbeforemyflyingfeetEveryshadowmustretreat。\"

  SaidtheWesternEngine,\"Phew!\"

  Andalong,lowwhistleblew。

  \"Come,now,reallythat’stheoddestTalkforonesoverymodest。

  YoubragofyourEast!YOUdo?

  Why,IbringtheEasttoYOU!

  AlltheOrient,allCathay,Findthroughmetheshortestway;

  AndthesunyoufollowhereRisesinmyhemisphere。

  Really,——ifonemustberude,——

  Length,myfriend,ain’tlongitude。\"

  SaidtheUnion:\"Don’treflect,orI’llrunoversomeDirector。\"

  SaidtheCentral:\"I’mPacific;

  But,whenriled,I’mquiteterrific。

  Yetto-dayweshallnotquarrel,Justtoshowthesefolksthismoral,HowtwoEngines——intheirvision——

  Oncehavemetwithoutcollision。\"

  ThatiswhattheEnginessaid,Unreportedandunread;

  Spokenslightlythroughthenose,Withawhistleattheclose。

  THELEGENDSOFTHERHINE

  Beetlingwallswithivygrown,Frowningheightsofmossystone;

  Turret,withitsflauntingflagFlungfrombattlementedcrag;

  Dungeon-keepandfortaliceLookingdownaprecipiceO’erthedarklyglancingwaveBytheLurline-hauntedcave;

  Robberhauntandmaidenbower,HomeofLoveandCrimeandPower,——

  That’sthescenery,infine,OftheLegendsoftheRhine。

  Oneboldbaron,double-dyedBigamistandparricide,And,asmostthestoriesrun,PartneroftheEvilOne;

  Injuredinnocenceinwhite,Fairbutidioticquite,Wringingofherlilyhands;

  ValorfreshfromPaynimlands,Abbotruddy,hermitpale,Minstrelfraughtwithmanyatale,——

  AretheactorsthatcombineIntheLegendsoftheRhine。

  Bell-mouthedflagonsroundaboard;

  Suitsofarmor,shield,andsword;

  Kerchiefwithitsbloodystain;

  Ghostsoftheuntimelyslain;

  Thunder-clapandclankingchain;

  Headsman’sblockandshiningaxe;

  Thumb-screw,crucifixes,racks;

  Midnight-tollingchapelbell,Heardacrossthegloomyfell,——

  TheseandotherpleasantfactsArethepropertiesthatshineIntheLegendsoftheRhine。

  Maledictions,whisperedvowsUnderneaththelindenboughs;

  Murder,bigamy,andtheft;

  Travelersofgoodsbereft;

  Rapine,pillage,arson,spoil,——

  Everythingbuthonesttoil,ArethedeedsthatbestdefineEveryLegendoftheRhine。

  ThatVirtuealwaysmeetsreward,Butquickerwhenitwearsasword;

  ThatProvidencehasspecialcareOfgallantknightandladyfair;

  Thatvillains,asathingofcourse,Arealwayshauntedbyremorse,——

  Isthemoral,Iopine,OftheLegendsoftheRhine。

  SONGSWITHOUTSENSE

  FORTHEPARLORANDPIANO

  I。THEPERSONIFIEDSENTIMENTAL

  Affection’scharmnolongergildsTheidoloftheshrine;

  ButcoldOblivionseekstofillRegret’sambrosialwine。

  ThoughFriendship’sofferingburiedlies’NeathcoldAversion’ssnow,RegardandFaithwilleverbloomPerpetuallybelow。

  Iseetheewhirlinmarblehalls,InPleasure’sgiddytrain;

  Remorseisneveronthatbrow,NorSorrow’smarkofpain。

  Deceithasmarkedtheeforherown;

  Inconstancythesame;

  AndRuinwildlyshedsitsgleamAthwartthypathofshame。

  II。THEHOMELYPATHETIC

  Thedewsareheavyonmybrow;

  Mybreathcomeshardandlow;

  Yet,motherdear,grantonerequest,Beforeyourboymustgo。

  Oh!liftmeeremyspiritsinks,Anderemysensesfail,Placemeoncemore,Omotherdear,Astridetheoldfence-rail。

  Theoldfence-rail,theoldfence-rail!

  Howofttheseyouthfullegs,WithAlice’andBenBolt’s,werehungAcrossthosewoodenpegs!

  ’TwastherethenauseatingsmokeOfmyfirstpipearose:

  Omotherdear,theseagoniesArefarlesskeenthanthose。

  Iknowwhereliesthehazeldell,WheresimpleNelliesleeps;

  IknowthecotofNettieMoore,Andwherethewillowweeps。

  Iknowthebrooksideandthemill,ButalltheirpathosfailsBesidethedayswhenonceIsatAstridetheoldfence-rails。

  III。SWISSAIR

  I’magaytra,la,la,Withmyfal,lal,la,la,Andmybright——

  Andmylight——

  Tra,la,le。[Repeat。]

  Thenlaugh,ha,ha,ha,Andring,ting,ling,ling,Andsingfal,la,la,La,la,le。[Repeat。]

  VI。LITTLEPOSTERITY

  MASTERJOHNNY’SNEXT-DOORNEIGHBOR

  ItwasspringthefirsttimethatIsawher,forherpapaandmammamovedinNextdoor,justasskatingwasover,andmarblesabouttobegin;

  Forthefenceinourbackyardwasbroken,andIsaw,asIpeepedthroughtheslat,Therewere\"Johnny-jump-ups\"allaroundher,andIknewitwasspringjustbythat。

  Ineverknewwhethershesawme,forshedidn’tsaynothingtome,But\"Ma!here’saslatinthefencebroke,andtheboythatisnextdoorcansee。\"

  ButthenextdayIclimbedonourwood-shed,asyouknowMammasaysI’vearight,Andshecallsout,\"Well,peekin’ismanners!\"andIansweredher,\"Sassisperlite!\"

  ButIwasn’tabitmad,no,Papa,andtoproveit,theverynextday,WhensheranpastourfenceinthemorningIhappenedtogetinherway,——

  ForyouknowIam\"chunked\"andclumsy,asshesaysareallboysofmysize,——

  Andshenearlyupsetme,shedid,Pa,andlaughedtilltearscameinhereyes。

  Andthenwewerefriendsfromthatmoment,forIknewthatshetoldKittySage,——

  Andshewasn’tagirlthatwouldflatter——\"thatshethoughtIwastallformyage。\"

  AndIgaveherfourapplesthatevening,andtookhertorideonmysled,And——\"WhatamItellingyouthisfor?\"Why,Papa,myneighborisDEAD!

  Youdon’thearonehalfIamsaying,——Ireallydothinkit’stoobad!

  Why,youmighthaveseencrapeonherdoor-knob,andnoticedto-dayI’vebeensad。

  Andthey’vegotheracoffinofrosewood,andtheysaytheyhavedressedherinwhite,AndI’veneveroncelookedthroughthefence,Pa,sinceshedied——atelevenlastnight。

  AndMasaysit’sdecentandproper,asIwasherneighborandfriend,ThatIshouldgotheretothefuneral,andshethinksthatYOUoughttoattend;

  ButIamsoclumsyandawkward,IknowIshallbeintheway,Andsupposetheyshouldspeaktome,Papa,Iwouldn’tknowjustwhattosay。

  SoIthinkIwillgetupquiteearly,——IknowIsleeplate,butIknowI’llbesuretowakeupifourBridgetpullsthestringthatI’lltietomytoe;

  AndI’llcrawlthroughthefence,andI’llgatherthe\"Johnny-jump-ups\"

  astheygrewRoundherfeetthefirstdaythatIsawher,and,Papa,I’llgivethemtoyou。

  Foryou’reabigman,and,youknow,Pa,cancomeandgojustwhereyouchoose,Andyou’lltaketheflowersintoher,andsurelythey’llneverrefuse;

  But,Papa,don’tSAYthey’refromJohnny;THEYwon’tunderstand,don’tyousee?

  Butjustlaythemdownonherbosom,and,Papa,SHE’LLknowthey’refromMe。

  MISSEDITH’SMODESTREQUEST

  MyPapaknowsyou,andhesaysyou’reamanwhomakesreadingforbooks;

  ButIneverreadnothingyouwrote,nordidPapa,——Iknowbyhislooks。

  SoIguessyou’relikemewhenItalk,andItalk,andItalkalltheday,Andtheyonlysay,\"Dostopthatchild!\"or,\"Nurse,takeMissEdithaway。\"

  ButPapasaidifIwasgoodIcouldaskyou——alonebymyself——

  Ifyouwouldn’twritemeabooklikethatlittleoneupontheshelf。

  Idon’tmeanthepictures,ofcourse,fortomakeTHEMyou’vegottobesmartButthereadingthatrunsallaroundthem,youknow,——justtheeasiestpart。

  Youneedn’tmindwhatit’sabout,fornoonewillseeitbutme,AndJane,——that’smynurse,——andJohn,——he’sthecoachman,——justonlyusthree。

  You’retowriteofabadlittlegirl,thatwaswickedandboldandallthat;

  Andthenyou’retowrite,ifyouplease,somethinggood——verygood——

  ofacat!

  Thiscat,shewasvirtuousandmeek,andkindtoherparents,andmild,Andcarefulandneatinherways,thoughhermistresswassuchabadchild;

  Andhoursshewouldsitandwouldgazewhenhermistress——that’sme——

  wassobad,Andblink,justasifshewouldsay,\"Oh,Edith!youmakemyheartsad。\"

  Andyet,youwouldscarcelybelieveit,thatbeautiful,angeliccatWasblamedbytheservantsforstealingwhatever,theysaid,she’dgetat。

  AndwhenJohndrankmymilk,——don’tyoutellme!Iknowjustthewayitwasdone,——

  Theysaid’twasthecat,——andshesittingandwashingherfaceinthesun!

  AndthentherewasDick,mycanary。WhenIleftitscageopenoneday,Theyallmadebelievethatsheateit,thoughIknowthatthebirdflewaway。

  Andwhy?Justbecauseshewasplayingwithafeathershefoundonthefloor。

  Asifcatscouldn’tplaywithafeatherwithoutpeoplethinking’twasmore!

  Why,oncewewererompingtogether,whenIknockeddownavasefromtheshelf,Thatcatwasasgrievedanddistressedasifshehaddoneitherself;

  Andshewalkedawaysadlyandhidherself,andnevercameoutuntiltea,——

  Sotheysay,fortheysentMEtobed,andshenevercameeventome。

  Nomatterwhateverhappened,itwaslaidatthedoorofthatcat。

  Why,oncewhenItoremyapron,——shewaswrappedinit,andIcalled\"Rat!\"——

  Why,theyblamedthatonHER。Ishallnever——no,nottomydyingday——

  ForgetthepainedlookthatshegavemewhentheyslappedMEandtookmeaway。

  Ofcourse,youknowjustwhatcomesnext,whenachildisaslovelyasthat:

  Shewastedquiteslowlyaway;itwasgoodnesswaskillingthatcat。

  Iknowitwasnothingsheate,forhertastewasexceedinglynice;

  ButtheysaidshestoleBobby’sicecream,andcaughtabadcoldfromtheice。

  Andyou’llpromisetomakemeabooklikethatlittleoneupontheshelf,Andyou’llcallher\"Naomi,\"becauseit’sanamethatshejustgaveherself;

  Forshe’dscratchatmydoorinthemorning,andwheneverI’dcallout,\"Who’sthere?\"

  Shewouldanswer,\"Naomi!Naomi!\"likeaChristian,Ivowanddeclare。

  Andyou’llputmeandherinabook。Andmind,you’retosayIwasbad;

  AndImighthavebeenbadderthanthatbutfortheexampleIhad。

  Andyou’llsaythatshewasaMaltese,and——what’sthatyouasked?

  \"Isshedead?\"

  Why,please,sir,THEREAIN’TANYCAT!You’retomakeoneupoutofyourhead!

  MISSEDITHMAKESITPLEASANTFORBROTHERJACK

  \"Crying!\"OfcourseIamcrying,andIguessyouwouldbecrying,too,Ifpeopleweretellingsuchstoriesastheytellaboutme,aboutYOU。

  Ohyes,youcanlaughifyouwantto,andsmokeasyoudidn’tcarehow,Andgetyourbrainssoftenedlikeuncle’s。Dr。Jonessaysyou’regettin’itnow。

  Whydon’tyousay\"Stop!\"toMissIlsey?ShecriestwiceasmuchasIdo,Andshe’solderandcriesjustfrommeanness,——foraribbonoranythingnew。

  Masaysit’sher\"sensitivenature。\"Ohmy!No,Isha’n’tstopmytalk!

  AndIdon’twantnoapplesnorcandy,andIdon’twanttogotakeawalk!

  Iknowwhyyou’remad!Yes,Ido,now!YouthinkthatMissIlseylikesYOU,AndI’veheardherREPEATEDLYcallyouthebold-facestboythatsheknew;

  Andshe’d\"liketoknowwhereyoulearntmanners。\"Ohyes!Kickthetable,——that’sright!

  Spilltheinkonmydress,andgothenroundtellingMathatIlooklikeafright!

  Whatstories?Pretendyoudon’tknowthatthey’resayingIbrokeoffthematchTwixtoldMoney-grubberandMary,bysayingshecalledhim\"Crosspatch,\"

  WhentheonlyallusionImadehimaboutsisterMarywas,sheCaredmoreforhiscashthanhistemper,andyouknow,Jack,yousaidthattome。

  Andit’strue!Butit’sME,andI’mscolded,andPasaysifIkeeponImightByandbygetmynameinthepapers!Whocares?Why,’twasonlylastnightIwasreadinghowPaandthesheriffweresellingsomelots,andit’splainIfit’sawfultobeinthepapers,why,Papawouldgoandcomplain。

  Youthinkitain’ttrueaboutIlsey?Well,IguessIknowgirls,andIsayThere’snothingIseeaboutIlseytoshowshelikesyou,anyway!

  IknowwhatitmeanswhenagirlwhohascalledhercatafteroneboyGoesandchangesitsnametoanother’s。Andshe’sdoneit——andI

  wishyoujoy!

  MISSEDITHMAKESANOTHERFRIEND

  Oh,you’rethegirllivesonthecorner?Comein——ifyouwantto——

  comequick!

  There’snoonebutmeinthehouse,andthecook——butshe’sonlyastick。

  Don’ttrythefrontway,butcomeoverthefence——throughthewindow——that’show。

  Don’tmindthebigdog——hewon’tbiteyou——justseehimobeyme!

  there,now!

  What’syourname?MaryEllen?Howfunny!Mine’sEdith——it’snicer,yousee;

  Butyoursdoesforyou,foryou’replainer,thoughmaybeyou’regooderthanme;

  ForJacksaysI’msometimesadevil,butJack,ofallfolks,needn’ttalk,ForIdon’tcalltheseamstressanangeltillMasaysthepoorthingmust\"walk。\"

  Comein!It’squitedarkintheparlor,forsisterwillkeeptheblindsdown,Foryouknowhercomplexionissallowlikeyours,butsheisn’tasbrown;

  ThoughJacksaysthatisn’tthereasonshelikestositherewithJimMoore。

  Doyouthinkthathemeantthatshekissedhim?Wouldyou——ifyourlipswasn’tsore?

  Ifyoulike,youcantryourpiano。’Tain’tours。AmanleftithereTorentbythemonth,althoughMasayshehasn’tbeenpaidforayear。

  Sisterplays——oh,suchfinevariations!——why,IonceheardagentlemansayThatshedidn’tmindTHATforthemusic——infact,itwasjustinherway!

  Ain’tIfunny?Andyetit’sthequeerestofallthat,whateverI

  say,Onehalfofthefolksdiea-laughing,andtherest,theyalllookt’otherway。

  Andsomesay,\"Thatchild!\"Dotheyeversaythattosuchpeopleasyou?

  Thoughmaybeyou’renaturallysilly,andthatmakesyoureyessoaskew。

  Nowstop——don’tyoudaretobecrying!Justassureasyoulive,ifyoudo,I’llcallinmybigdogtobiteyou,andI’llmakemyPapakillyou,too!

  Andthenwhere’llyoube?Soplaypretty。There’smydoll,andanicepieceofcake。

  Youdon’twantit——youthinkitispoison!ThenI’LLeatit,dear,justforyoursake!

  WHATMISSEDITHSAWFROMHERWINDOW

  Ourwindow’snotmuch,thoughitfrontsonthestreet;

  There’saflyinthepanethatgetsnothin’toeat;

  Butit’scurioushowpeoplethinkit’satreatForMEtolookoutofthewindow!

  Why,whencompanycomes,andthey’reallspeakinglow,Withtheirchairsdrawntogether,thensomeonesays,\"Oh!

  Edithdear!——that’sagoodchild——nowrun,love,andgoAndamuseyourselfthereatthewindow!\"

  OrBob——that’smybrother——comesinwithhischum,Andtheywhisperandchuckle,thesamewordswillcome。

  Andit’s\"Edith,lookhere!Oh,Isay!whatarumLotofthingsyoucanseefromthatwindow!\"

  Andyet,asItoldyou,there’sonlythatflyBuzzingroundinthepane,andabitofbluesky,Andthegirlintheoppositewindow,thatI

  LookatwhenSHElooksfromHERwindow。

  Andyet,I’vebeenthinkingI’dsoliketoseeIfwhatgoesonbehindHER,goesonbehindME!

  Andthen,goodnessgracious!whatfunitwouldbeForusBOTHaswesitbyourwindow!

  Howwe’dknowwhentheparcelswerehidinadrawer,Orthingstakenoutthatoneneverseesmore;

  Whatpeoplecomeinandgooutofthedoor,Thatweneverseefromthewindow!

  AndthatnightwhenthestrangercamehomewithourJaneImightSEEwhatIHEARDthen,thatsoundedsoplain——

  LikewhenmywetfingersIrubonthepane(Whichtheywon’tletMEdoonmywindow)。

  AndI’dknowwhypapashutthedoorwithaslam,Andsaidsomethingfunnythatsoundedlike\"jam,\"

  Andthen\"Edith——whereareyou?\"Isaid,\"HereIam。\"

  \"Ah,that’sright,dear,lookoutofthewindow!\"

  TheysaywhenI’mgrownupthesethingswillappearMoreplainthantheydowhenIlookatthemhere,ButIthinkIseesomethingsuncommonlyclear,AsIsitandlookdownfromthewindow。

  Whatthings?Oh,thethingsthatImakeup,youknow,OutofstoriesI’veread——andtheyallpassbelow。

  AliBaba,theFortyThieves,allinarow,Goby,asIlookfrommywindow。

  That’sonlyatchurchtime;otherdaysthere’snocrowd。

  Don’tlaugh!Seethatbigmanwholookedupandbowed?

  That’sourbutcher——IcallhimtheSultanMahoudWhenhenodstomehereatthewindow!

  AndTHATman——he’sourneighbor——justgoneforarideHasthreewivesinthechurchyardthatliesidebyside。

  SoIcallhim\"Bluebeard\"insearchofhisbride,WhileI’mSisterAnneatthewindow。

  AndwhatdoIcallyou?Well,here’swhatIDO:

  Whenmysisterexpectsyou,sheputsmehere,too;

  ButIwaittillyouenter,toseeifit’syou,Andthen——IjustOPENthewindow!

  \"Dearchild!\"Yes,that’sme!Oh,youaskwhatthat’sfor?

  Well,Papasaysyou’re\"Poverty’sself,\"andwhat’smore,Iopenthewindow,whenYOU’REatthedoor,ToseeLoveflyoutofthewindow!\"

  ONTHELANDING

  (ANIDYLOFTHEBALUSTERS)

  BOBBY,aetat。31/2。JOHNNY,aetat。41/2。

  BOBBY

  Doyouknowwhythey’veputusinthatbackroom,Upintheattic,closeagainstthesky,Andmadebelieveournursery’sacloak-room?

  Doyouknowwhy?

  JOHNNY

  NomoreIdon’t,norwhythatSammy’smother,WhatMathinkshorrid,’causehebungedmyeye,Eatsanicecream,downthere,likeanyother!

  Nomoredon’tI!

  BOBBY

  DoyouknowwhyNursesaysitisn’tmannersForyouandmetoaskfolkstwiceforpie,Andnoonehitsthatmanwithtwobananas?

  Doyouknowwhy?

  JOHNNY

  NomoreIdon’t,norwhythatgirl,whosedressisOffofhershoulders,don’tcatchcoldanddie,WhenyouandmegetscroupwhenWEundresses!

  Nomoredon’tI!

  BOBBY

  Perhapssheain’tasgoodasyouandIis,AndGoddon’twantherupthereinthesky,Andletsherlive——tocomeinjustwhenpieis——

  Perhapsthat’swhy!

  JOHNNY

  Doyouknowwhythatmanthat’sgotacroppedheadRubbeditjustnowasifhefeltafly?

  Coulditbe,Bobby,somethingthatIdropded?

  Andisthatwhy?

  BOBBY

  Goodboysbehaves,andsotheydon’tgetscolded,Nordrophotmilkonfolksastheypassby。

  JOHNNY(piously)

  MarbleswouldbounceonMr。Jones’baldhead——

  ButIsha’n’ttry!

  BOBBY

  DoyouknowwhyAuntJaneisalwayssnarlingAtyouandmebecausewetellsalie,Andshedon’tslapthatmanthatcalledherdarling?

  Doyouknowwhy?

  JOHNNY

  NomoreIdon’t,norwhythatmanwithMammaJustkissedherhand。

  BOBBY

  Shehurtit——andthat’swhy;

  Hemadeitwell,theverywaythatMammaDoesdotoI。

  JOHNNY

  Ifeelsosleepy……WasthatPapakissedus?

  Whatmadehimsigh,andlookuptothesky?

  BOBBY

  Weweren’tdownstairs,andheandGodhadmissedus,Andthatwaswhy!

  NOTES

  THELOSTGALLEON。Asthecustomonwhichthecentralincidentofthislegendisbasedmaynotbefamiliartoallreaders,Iwillrepeatherethatitisthehabitofnavigatorstodropadayfromtheircalendarincrossingwesterlythe180thdegreeoflongitudeofGreenwich,addingadayincomingeast;andthattheideaofthelostgalleonhadanoriginasprosaicasthelogofthefirstChinaMailSteamerfromSanFrancisco。Theexplanationofthecustomanditsastronomicalrelationsbelongsrathertotheusualtext-booksthantopoeticalnarration。IfanyreaderthinksIhaveoverdrawnthecreduloussuperstitionsoftheancientnavigators,IreferhimtotheveraciousstatementsofMaldonado,DeFonte,thelatervoyagesofLaPerouseandAnson,andthechartsof1640。InthechartsofthatdaySpanishnavigatorsreckonedlongitudeE。360

  degreesfromthemeridianoftheIsleofFerro。Forthesakeofperspicuitybeforeamodernaudience,themorerecentmeridianofMadridwassubstituted。ThecustomofdroppingadayatsomearbitrarypointincrossingthePacificwesterly,Ineednotsay,remainsunaffectedbyanychangeofmeridian。Iknownotifanygalleonwaseverreallymissing。FortwohundredandfiftyyearsanannualtripwasmadebetweenAcapulcoandManila。Itmaybesomesatisfactiontothemoreseverelypracticalofmyreaderstoknowthat,accordingtothebeststatisticsofinsurance,thelossduringthatperiodwouldbeexactlythreevesselsandsixhundredthsofavessel,whichwouldcertainlyjustifymeinthissummarydispositionofONE。

  THEPLIOCENESKULL。ThisextraordinaryfossilisinthepossessionofProf。JosiahD。Whitney,oftheStateGeologicalSurveyofCalifornia。Thepoemwasbasedonthefollowingparagraphfromthedailypressof1868:\"AhumanskullhasbeenfoundinCalifornia,intheplioceneformation。ThisskullistheremnantnotonlyoftheearliestpioneerofthisState,buttheoldestknownhumanbeing……

  Theskullwasfoundinashaft150feetdeep,twomilesfromAngelsinCalaverasCounty,byaminernamedJamesWatson,whogaveittoMr。Scribner,amerchant,whogaveittoDr。Jones,whosentittotheStateGeologicalSurvey……ThepublishedvolumeoftheStateSurveyoftheGeologyofCaliforniastatesthatmanexistedherecontemporaneouslywiththemastodon,butthisfossilprovesthathewasherebeforethemastodonwasknowntoexist。\"

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