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  CHAPTERIV

  SUPERNATURALCHRONOMETRY

  Rowenawasdiningout,JoeandHarrywerebelatedatplay,therewerebutthreechairsandfourpersonsthatnoonatthehomedinner-table——

  thetwins,thewidow,andherchum,AuntBetsyHale。ThewidowsoonperceivedthatAngelo’sspiritswereaslowasLuigi’swerehigh,andalsothathehadajadedlook。Hermotherlysolicitudewasaroused,andshetriedtogethiminterestedinthetalkandwinhimtoahappierframeofmind,butthecloudofsadnessremainedonhiscountenance。

  Luigilenthishelp,too。Heusedaformandaphrasewhichhewasalwaysaccustomedtoemployinthesecircumstances。Hegavehisbrotheranaffectionateslapontheshoulderandsaid,encouragingly:

  \"Cheerup,theworstisyettocome!\"

  Butthisdidnogood。Itneverdid。Ifanything,itmadethematterworse,asarule,becauseitirritatedAngelo。ThismadeitafavoritewithLuigi。Byandbythewidowsaid:

  \"Angelo,youaretired,you’veoverdoneyourself;yougorighttobedafterdinner,andgetagoodnapandarest,thenyou’llbeallright。\"

  \"Indeed,IwouldgiveanythingifIcoulddothat,madam。\"

  \"Andwhat’stohender,I’dliketoknow?Land,theroom’syourstodowhatyoupleasewith!Theideathatyoucan’tdowhatyoulikewithyourown!\"

  \"But,yousee,there’soneprimeessential——anessentialoftheveryfirstimportance——whichisn’tmyown。\"

  \"Whatisthat?\"

  \"Mybody。\"

  Theoldladieslookedpuzzled,andAuntBetsyHalesaid:

  \"Whyblessyourheart,howisthat?\"

  \"It’smybrother’s。\"

  \"Yourbrother’s!Idon’tquiteunderstand。Isupposeditbelongedtobothofyou。\"

  \"Soitdoes。Butnottobothatthesametime。\"

  \"Thatismightycurious;Idon’tseehowitcanbe。Ishouldn’tthinkitcouldbemanagedthatway。\"

  \"Oh,it’sagoodenougharrangement,andgoesverywell;infact,itwouldn’tdotohaveitotherwise。Ifindthattheteetotalersandtheanti-teetotalershiretheuseofthesamehallfortheirmeetings。Bothpartiesdon’tuseitatthesametime,dothey?\"

  \"Youbettheydon’t!\"saidbotholdladiesinabreath。

  \"And,moreover,\"saidAuntBetsy,\"theFreethinkersandtheBaptistBibleclassusethesameroomovertheMarkethouse,butyoucantakemywordforittheydon’tmushuptogetheranduseitatthesametime。’

  \"Verywell,\"saidAngelo,\"youunderstanditnow。Anditstandstoreasonthatthearrangementcouldn’tbeimproved。I’llproveittoyou。

  Ifourlegstriedtoobeytwowills,howcouldweevergetanywhere?

  Iwouldstartoneway,Luigiwouldstartanother,atthesamemoment——

  theresultwouldbeastandstill,wouldn’tit?\"

  \"Assureasyouareborn!Nowain’tthatwonderful!Abodywouldneverhavethoughtofit。\"

  \"Weshouldalwaysbearguingandfussinganddisputingoverthemeresttrifles。Weshouldloseworldsoftime,forwecouldn’tgodown-stairsorup,couldn’tgotobed,couldn’trise,couldn’twash,couldn’tdress,couldn’tstandup,couldn’tsitdown,couldn’tevencrossourlegs,withoutcallingameetingfirstandexplainingthecaseandpassingresolutions,andgettingconsent。Itwouldn’teverdo——nowwouldit?\"

  \"Do?Why,itwouldwearapersonoutinaweek!Didyoueverhearanythinglikeit,PatsyCooper?\"

  \"Oh,you’llfindthere’smorethanonethingaboutthemthatain’tcommonplace,\"saidthewidow,withthecomplacentairofapersonwithapropertyrightinanoveltythatisunderadmiringscrutiny。

  \"Well,now,howeverdoyoumanageit?Idon’tmindsayingI’msufferingtoknow。\"

  \"Hewhomadeus,\"saidAngeloreverently,\"andwithusthisdifficulty,alsoprovidedawayoutofit。Byamysteriouslawofourbeing,eachofushasutterandindisputablecommandofourbodyaweekatatime,turnandturnabout。\"

  \"Well,Inever!Nowain’tthatbeautiful!\"

  \"Yes,itisbeautifulandinfinitelywiseandjust。TheweekendseverySaturdayatmidnighttotheminute,tothesecond,tothelastshadeofafractionofasecond,infallibly,unerringly,andinthatinstanttheonebrother’spoweroverthebodyvanishesandtheotherbrothertakespossession,asleeporawake。\"

  \"HowmarvelousareHisways,andpastfindingout!\"

  Luigisaid:\"Soexactlytotheinstantdoesthechangecome,thatduringourstayinmanyofthegreatcitiesoftheworld,thepublicclockswereregulatedbyit;andashundredsofthousandsofprivateclocksandwatchesweresetandcorrectedinaccordancewiththepublicclocks,wereallyfurnishedthestandardtimefortheentirecity。\"

  \"Don’ttellmethatHedon’tdomiraclesanymore!BlowingdownthewallsofJerichowithrams’hornswa’n’tasdifficult,inmyopinion。\"

  \"Andthatisnotall,\"saidAngelo。\"Athingthatisevenmoremarvelous,perhaps,isthefactthatthechangetakesnoteoflongitudeandfitsitselftothemeridianweareon。Luigiisincommandthisweek。Now,ifonSaturdaynightatamomentbeforemidnightwecouldflyinaninstanttoapointfifteendegreeswestofhere,hewouldholdpossessionofthepoweranotherhour,forthechangeobserveslocaltimeandnoother。\"

  BetsyHalewasdeeplyimpressed,andsaidwithsolemnity:

  \"PatsyCooper,fordetailitlaysoverthePassageoftheRedSea。\"

  \"Now,Ishouldn’tgoasfarasthat,\"saidAuntPatsy,\"butifyou’veamindtosaySodomandGomorrah,Iamwithyou,BetsyHale。\"

  \"Iamagreeable,then,thoughIdothinkIwasright,andIbelieveParsonMaltbywouldsaythesame。Well,now,there’sanotherthing。

  Supposeoneofyouwantstoborrowthelegsaminutefromtheonethat’sgotthem,couldhelethim?\"

  \"Yes,butwehardlyeverdothat。Thereweredisagreeableresults,severaltimes,andsoweveryseldomaskorgranttheprivilege,nowadays,andwenevereventhinkofsuchathingunlessthecaseisextremelyurgent。Besides,aweek’spossessionatatimeseemssolittlethatwecan’tbeartospareaminuteofit。Peoplewhohavetheuseoftheirlegsallthetimeneverthinkofwhatablessingitis,ofcourse。

  Itneveroccurstothem;it’sjusttheirnaturalordinarycondition,andsoitdoesnotexcitethematall。ButwhenIwakeup,onSundaymorning,andit’smyweekandIfeelthepowerallthroughme,oh,suchawaveofexultationandthanksgivinggoessurgingoverme,andIwanttoshout’Icanwalk!Icanwalk!’Madam,doyouever,atyouruprising,wanttoshout’Icanwalk!Icanwalk!’?\"

  \"No,youpoorunfortunatecretur’,butI’llnevergetoutofmybedagainwithoutdoingit!Laws,tothinkI’vehadthisunspeakableblessingallmylonglifeandneverhadthegracetothankthegoodLordthatgaveittome!\"

  Tearsstoodintheeyesofboththeoldladiesandthewidowsaid,softly:

  \"BetsyHale,wehavelearnedsomething,youandme。\"

  Theconversationnowdriftedwide,butbyandbyfloatedbackoncemoretothatadmireddetail,therigidandbeautifulimpartialitywithwhichthepossessionofpowerhadbeendistributed,betweenthetwins。AuntBetsysawinitafarfinerjusticethanhumanlawexhibitsinrelatedcases。Shesaid:

  \"Inmyopinionitain’trightno,andneverhasbeenright,thewayatwinbornaquarterofaminutesoonerthantheotheronegetsallthelandandgrandeursandnobilitiesintheoldcountriesandhisbrotherhastogobareandbeanobody。Whichofyouwasbornfirst?\"

  Angelo’sheadwasrestingagainstLuigi’s;wearinesshadovercomehim,andforthepastfiveminuteshehadbeenpeacefullysleeping。Theoldladieshaddroppedtheirvoicestoalullingdrone,tohelphimtostealtheresthisbrotherwouldn’ttakehimup-stairstoget。LuigilistenedamomenttoAngelo’sregularbreathing,thensaidinavoicebarelyaudible:

  \"Wewerebothbornatthesametime,butIamsixmonthsolderthanheis。\"

  \"Fortheland’ssake!\"

  \"’Sh!don’twakehimup;hewouldn’tlikemytellingthis。Ithasalwaysbeenkeptsecrettillnow。\"

  \"Buthowintheworldcanitbe?Ifyouwerebothbornatthesametime,howcanoneofyoubeolderthantheother?\"

  \"Itisverysimple,andIassureyouitistrue。Iwasbornwithafullcropofhair,hewasasbaldasaneggforsixmonths。Icouldwalksixmonthsbeforehecouldmakeastep。Ifinishedteethingsixmonthsaheadofhim。Ibegantotakesolidssixmonthsbeforeheleftthebreast。

  Ibegantotalksixmonthsbeforehecouldsayaword。Last,andabsolutelyunassailableproof,thesuturesinmyskullclosedsixmonthsaheadofhis。Alwaysjustthatsixmonths’differencetoaday。Wasthataccident?Nobodyisgoingtoclaimthat,I’msure。Itwasordaineditwaslawithaditsmeaning,andweknowwhatthatmeaningwas。Nowwhatdoesthisoverwhelmingbodyofevidenceestablish?Itestablishesjustonething,andthatthingitestablishesbeyondanyperadventurewhatever。Friends,wewouldnothaveitknownfortheworld,andImustbegyoutokeepitstrictlytoyourselves,butthetruthis,wearenomoretwinsthanyouare。\"

  Thetwooldladieswerestunned,paralyzed-petrified,onemayalmostsay——andcouldonlysitandgazevacantlyateachotherforsomemoments;

  thenAuntBetsyHalesaidimpressively:

  \"There’snogettingaroundprooflikethat。Idobelieveit’sthemostamazingthingIeverheardof。\"Shesatsilentamomentortwoandbreathinghardwithexcitement,thenshelookedupandsurveyedthestrangerssteadfastlyalittlewhile,andadded:\"Well,itdoesbeatme,butIwouldhavetookyoufortwinsanywhere。\"

  \"SowouldI,sowouldI,\"saidAuntPatsywiththeemphasisofacertaintythatisnotimpairedbyanyshadeofdoubt。

  \"Anybodywould-anybodyintheworld,Idon’tcarewhoheis,\"saidAuntBetsywithdecision。

  \"Youwon’ttell,\"saidLuigi,appealingly。

  \"Oh,dear,no!\"answeredbothladiespromptly,\"youcantrustus,don’tyoubeafraid。\"

  \"Thatisgoodofyou,andkind。Neverleton;treatusalwaysasifweweretwins。\"

  \"Youcandependonus,\"saidAuntBetsy,\"butitwon’tbeeasy,becausenowthatIknowyouain’tyoudon’tseemso。\"

  Luigimutteredtohimselfwithsatisfaction:\"Thatswindlehasgonethroughwithoutchangeofcars。\"

  Itwasnotverykindofhimtoloadthepoorthingsupwithasecretlikethat,whichwouldbealwaysflyingtotheirtongues’endseverytimetheyheardanyonespeakofthestrangersastwins,andwouldbecomeharderandhardertohangontowitheveryrecurrenceofthetemptationtotellit,whilethetortureofretainingitwouldincreasewitheverynewstrainthatwasapplied;butheneverthoughtofthat,andprobablywouldnothaveworriedmuchaboutitifhehad。

  Avisitorwasannounced——someonetoseethetwins。Theywithdrewtotheparlor,andthetwooldladiesbegantodiscusswithinterestthestrangethingswhichtheyhadbeenlisteningto。Whentheyhadfinishedthemattertotheirsatisfaction,andAuntBetsyrosetogo,shestoppedtoaskaquestion:

  \"HowdoesthingscomeonbetweenRowenyandTomDriscoll?\"

  \"Well,aboutthesame。Hewritestolerableoften,andsheanswerstolerableseldom。\"

  \"Whereishe?\"

  \"InSt。Louis,Ibelieve,thoughhe’ssuchagadaboutthatabodycan’tbeverycertainofhim,Ireckon。\"

  \"Don’tRowenyknow?\"

  \"Oh,yes,likeenough。Ihaven’taskedherlately。\"

  \"Doyouknowhowhimandthejudgearegettingalongnow?\"

  \"Firstrate,Ibelieve。Mrs。Prattsaysso;andbeingrightinthehouse,andsistertotheoneandaunttot’other,ofcoursesheoughttoknow。Shesaysthejudgeisrealfondofhimwhenhe’saway;butfretswhenhe’saroundandisvexedwithhisways,andnotsorrytohavehimgoagain。Hehasbeengonethreeweeksthistime——apleasantthingforbothofthem,Ireckon。\"

  \"Tom’sratherharum-scarum,butthereain’tanythingbadinhim,I

  guess。\"

  \"Oh,no,he’sjustyoung,that’sall。Still,twenty-threeisold,inoneway。Ayoungmanoughttobeearninghislivingbythattime。IfTomweredoingthat,orwaseventryingtodoit,thejudgewouldbeaheapbettersatisfiedwithhim。Tom’salwaysgoingtobegin,butsomehowhecan’tseemtofindjusttheopeninghelikes。\"

  \"Well,now,it’spartlythejudge’sownfault。Promisingtheboyhispropertywasn’tthewaytosethimtoearningafortuneofhisown。ButwhatdoyouthinkisRowenybeginningtoleananytowardhim,orain’tshe?\"

  AuntPatsyhadasecretinherbosom;shewantedtokeepitthere,butnaturewastoostrongforher。ShedrewAuntBetsyaside,andsaidinhermostconfidentialandmysteriousmanner:

  \"Don’tyoubreatheasyllabletoasoul——I’mgoingtotellyousomething。

  InmyopinionTomDriscoll’schanceswereconsiderablebetteryesterdaythantheyareto-day。\"

  \"PatsyCooper,whatdoyoumean?\"

  \"It’sso,assureasyou’reborn。Iwishyoucould’a’beenatbreakfastandseenforyourself。\"

  \"Youdon’tmeanit!\"

  \"Well,ifI’manyjudge,there’saleaning——there’saleaning,sure。\"

  \"Myland!Whichoneof’emisit?\"

  \"Ican’tsayforcertain,butIthinkit’stheyoungestone——Anjy。\"

  Thentherewerehand-shakings,andcongratulations,andhopes,andsoon,andtheoldladiesparted,perfectlyhappy——theoneinknowingsomethingwhichtherestofthetowndidn’t,andtheotherinhavingbeenthesolepersonabletofurnishthatknowledge。

  ThevisitorwhohadcalledtoseethetwinswastheRev。Mr。Hotchkiss,pastoroftheBaptistchurch。AtthereceptionAngelohadtoldhimhehadlatelyexperiencedachangeinhisreligiousviews,andwasnowdesirousofbecomingaBaptist,andwouldimmediatelyjoinMr。

  Hotchkiss’schurch。Therewasnotimetosaymore,andthebrieftalkendedatthatpoint。Theministerwasmuchgratified,andhaddroppedinforamomentnow,toinvitethetwinstoattendhisBibleclassateightthatevening。Angeloaccepted,andwasexpectingLuigitodecline,buthedidnot,becauseheknewthattheBibleclassandtheFreethinkersmetinthesameroom,andhewantedtotreathisbrothertotheembarrassmentofbeingcaughtinfree-thinkingcompany。

  CHAPTERV

  GUILTANDINNOCENCEFINELYBLENT

  [Alongandvigorousquarrelfollows,betweenthetwins。Andthereisplentytoquarrelabout,forAngelowasalwaysseekingtruth,andthisobligedhimtochangeandimprovehisreligionwithfrequency,whichweariedLuigi,andannoyedhimtoo;forhehadtobepresentateachnewenlistment——whichplacedhiminthefalsepositionofseemingtoindorseandapprovehisbrother’sfickleness;moreover,hehadtogotoAngelo’sprohibitionmeetings,andhehatedthem。Ontheotherhand,whenitwashisweektocommandthelegshegaveAngelojustcauseofcomplaint,forhetookhimtocircusesandhorse-racesandfandangoes,exposinghimtoallsortsofcensureandcriticism;andhedrank,too;andwhateverhedrankwenttoAngelo’sheadinsteadofhisownandmadehimactdisgracefully。Whentheeveningwascome,thetwoattendedtheFree-

  thinkers’meeting,whereAngelowassadandsilent;thencametheBibleclassandlookeduponhimcoldly,findinghiminsuchcompany。ThentheywenttoWilson’shouseandChapterXIofPudd’nheadWilsonfollows,whichtellsofthegirlseeninTomDriscoll’sroom;andcloseswiththekickingofTombyLuigiattheanti-temperancemass-meetingoftheSonsofLiberty;withtheadditionofsomeaccountofRoxy’sadventuresasachamber-maidonaMississippiboat。Herexchangeofthechildrenhadbeenflippantlyandfarcicallydescribedinanearlierchapter。

  Nextmorningallthetownwasa-buzzwithgreatnews;Pudd’nheadWilsonhadalawcase!The,publicastonishmentwassogreatandthepubliccuriositysointense,thatwhenthejusticeofthepeaceopenedhiscourt,theplacewaspackedwithpeopleandeventhewindowswerefull。

  Everybodywas,flushedandperspiring;thesummerheatwasalmostunendurable。

  TomDriscollhadbroughtachargeofassaultandbatteryagainstthetwins。RobertAllenwasretainedbyDriscoll,DavidWilsonbythedefense。Tom,hisnativecheerfulnessunannihilatedbyhisback-breakingandbone-bruisingpassageacrossthemassedheadsoftheSonsofLibertythepreviousnight,laughedhislittlecustomarylaugh,andsaidtoWilson:

  \"I’vekeptmypromise,yousee;I’mthrowingmybusinessyourway。

  SoonerthanIwasexpecting,too。\"

  \"It’sverygoodofyou——particularlyifyoumeantokeepitup。\"

  \"Well,Ican’ttellaboutthatyet。Butwe’llsee。IfIfindyoudeserveitI’lltakeyouundermyprotectionandmakeyourfameandfortuneforyou。\"

  \"I’lltrytodeserveit,Tom。\"

  Ajurywasswornin;thenMr。Allensaid:

  \"Wewilldetainyourhonorbutamomentwiththiscase。Itisnotonewhereanydoubtofthefactoftheassaultcanenterin。Thesegentlemen——theaccused——kickedmyclientattheMarketHalllastnight;

  theykickedhimwithviolence;withextraordinaryviolence;withevenunprecedentedviolence,Imaysay;insomuchthathewasliftedentirelyoffhisfeetanddischargedintothemidstoftheaudience。Wecanprovethisbyfourhundredwitnesses——weshallcallbutthree。Mr。Harknesswilltakethestand。\"

  Mr。Harkness,beingsworn,testifiedthathewaschairmanupontheoccasionmentioned;thathewascloseathandandsawthedefendantsinthisactionkicktheplaintiffintotheairandsawhimdescendamongtheaudience。

  \"Takethewitness,\"saidAllen。

  \"Mr。Harkness,\"saidWilson,\"yousayyousawthesegentlemen,myclients,kicktheplaintiff。Areyousure——andpleaserememberthatyouareonoath——areyouperfectlysurethatyousawbothofthemkickhim,oronlyone?Nowbecareful。\"

  Abewilderedlookbegantospreaditselfoverthewitness’sface。Hehesitated,stammered,butgotoutnothing。Hiseyeswanderedtothetwinsandfixedthemselvestherewithavacantgaze。

  \"Pleaseanswer,Mr。Harkness,youarekeepingthecourtwaiting。Itisaverysimplequestion。\"

  Counselfortheprosecutionbrokeinwithimpatience:

  \"Yourhonor,thequestionisanirrelevanttriviality。Necessarily,theybothkickedhim,fortheyhavebuttheonepairoflegs,andbothareresponsibleforthem。\"

  Wilsonsaid,sarcastically:

  \"Willyourhonorpermitthisnewwitnesstobesworn?Heseemstopossessknowledgewhichcanbeoftheutmostvaluejustatthismoment——

  knowledgewhichwouldatoncedisposeofwhateveryonemustseeisaverydifficultquestioninthiscase。BrotherAllen,willyoutakethestand?\"

  \"Goonwithyourcase!\"saidAllen,petulantly。Theaudiencelaughed,andgotawarningfromthecourt。

  \"Now,Mr。Harkness,\"saidWilson,insinuatingly,\"weshallhavetoinsistuponananswertothatquestion。\"

  \"I——er——well,ofcourse,Idonotabsolutelyknow,butinmyopinion——\"

  \"Nevermindyouropinion,sir——answerthequestion。\"

  \"I——why,Ican’tanswerit。\"

  \"Thatwilldo,Mr。Harkness。Standdown。\"

  Theaudiencetittered,andthediscomfitedwitnessretiredinastateofgreatembarrassment。

  Mr。Wakemantookthestandandsworethathesawthetwinskicktheplaintiffofftheplatform。

  Thedefensetookthewitness。

  \"Mr。Wakeman,youhaveswornthatyousawthesegentlemenkicktheplaintiff。DoIunderstandyoutoswearthatyousawthembothdoit?\"

  \"Yes,sir,\"——withderision。

  \"Howdoyouknowthatbothdidit?\"

  \"BecauseIsawthemdoit。\"

  Theaudiencelaughed,andgotanotherwarningfromthecourt。

  \"Butbywhatmeansdoyouknowthatboth,andnotone,didit?\"

  \"Well,inthefirstplace,theinsultwasgiventobothofthemequally,fortheywerecalledapairofscissors。Ofcoursetheywouldbothwanttoresentit,andso——\"

  \"Wait!Youaretheorizingnow。Sticktofacts——counselwillattendtothearguments。Goon。\"

  \"Well,theybothwentoverthere——thatIsaw。\"

  \"Verygood。Goon。\"

  \"Andtheybothkickedhim——Isweartoit。\"

  \"Mr。Wakeman,wasCountLuigi,here,willingtojointheSonsofLibertylastnight?\"

  \"Yes,sir,hewas。Hedidjoin,too,anddrankaglassortwoofwhisky,likeaman。\"

  \"Washisbrotherwillingtojoin?\"

  \"No,sir,hewasn’t。Heisateetotaler,andwaselectedthroughamistake。\"

  \"Washegivenaglassofwhisky?\"

  \"Yes,sir,butofcoursethatwasanothermistake,andnotintentional。

  Hewouldn’tdrinkit。Hesetitdown。\"Aslightpause,thenheadded,casuallyandquitesimply:\"Theplaintiffreachedforitandhoggedit。\"

  Therewasafineoutburstoflaughter,butasthejusticewascaughtouthimself,hisreprimandwasnotveryvigorous。

  Mr。Allenjumpedupandexclaimed:\"Iprotestagainstthesefoolishirrelevancies。Whathavetheytodowiththecase?\"

  Wilsonsaid:\"Calmyourself,brother,itwasonlyanexperiment。Now,Mr。Wakeman,ifoneofthesegentlemenchoosestojoinanassociationandtheotherdoesn’t;andifoneofthemenjoyswhiskyandtheotherdoesn’t,butsetsitasideandleavesitunprotected\"(titterfromtheaudience),\"itseemstoshowthattheyhaveindependentminds,andtastes,andpreferences,andthatoneofthemisabletoapproveofathingattheverymomentthattheotherisheartilydisapprovingofit。

  Doesn’titseemsotoyou?\"

  \"Certainlyitdoes。It’sperfectlyplain。\"

  \"Now,then,itmightbe——Ionlysayitmightbe——thatoneofthesebrotherswantedtokicktheplaintifflastnight,andthattheotherdidn’twantthathumiliatingpunishmentinflicteduponhiminthatpublicwayandbeforeallthosepeople。Isn’tthatpossible?\"

  \"Ofcourseitis。It’smorethanpossible。Idon’tbelievetheblondonewouldkickanybody。Itwastheotheronethat——\"

  \"Silence!\"shoutedtheplaintiff’scounsel,andwentonwithanangrysentencewhichwaslostinthewaveoflaughterthatsweptthehouse。

  \"Thatwilldo,Mr。Wakeman,\"saidWilson,\"youmaystanddown。\"

  Thethirdwitnesswascalled。Hehadseenthetwinskicktheplaintiff。

  Mr。Wilsontookthewitness。

  \"Mr。Rogers,yousayyousawtheseaccusedgentlemenkicktheplaintiff?\"

  \"Yes,sir。\"

  \"Bothofthem?\"

  \"Yes,sir。\"

  \"Whichofthemkickedhimfirst?\"

  \"Why——they——theybothkickedhimatthesametime。

  \"Areyouperfectlysureofthat?\"

  \"Yes,sir。\"

  \"Whatmakesyousureofit?\"

  \"Why,Istoodrightbehindthem,andsawthemdoit。\"

  \"Howmanykicksweredelivered?\"

  \"Onlyone。\"

  \"Iftwomenkick,theresultshouldbetwokicks,shouldn’tit?\"

  \"Why——whyyes,asarule。\"

  \"Thenwhatdoyouthinkwentwiththeotherkick?\"

  \"I——well——thefactis,Iwasn’tthinkingoftwobeingnecessary,thistime。\"

  \"Whatdoyouthinknow?\"

  \"Well,I——I’msureIdon’tquiteknowwhattothink,butIreckonthatoneofthemdidhalfofthekickandtheotheronedidtheotherhalf。\"

  Somebodyinthecrowdsungout:\"It’sthefirstsanethingthatanyofthemhassaid。\"

  Theaudienceapplauded。Thejudgesaid:\"Silence!orIwillclearthecourt。\"

  Mr。Allenlookedpleased,butWilsondidnotseemdisturbed。Hesaid:

  \"Mr。Rogers,youhavefavoreduswithwhatyouthinkandwhatyoureckon,butasthinkingandreckoningarenotevidence,Iwillnowgiveyouachancetocomeoutwithsomethingpositive,onewayortheother,andshallrequireyoutoproduceit。Iwillasktheaccusedtostandupandrepeatthephenomenalkickoflastnight。\"Thetwinsstoodup。\"Now,Mr。Rogers,pleasestandbehindthem。\"

  AVoice:\"No,standinfront!\"(Laughter。Silencedbythecourt。)

  AnotherVoice:\"No,giveTommyanotherhighst!\"(Laughter。Sharplyrebukedbythecourt。)

  \"Now,then,Mr。Rogers,twokicksshallbedelivered,oneaftertheother,andIgiveyoumywordthatatleastoneofthetwoshallbedeliveredbyoneofthetwinsalone,withouttheslightestassistancefromhisbrother。Watchsharply,foryouhaveoftorenderadecisionwithoutanyif’sandandsit。\"Rogersbenthimselfbehindthetwinswithpalmsjustabovehisknees,inthemodernattitudeofthecatcheratabaseballmatch,andrivetedeyesonthepairoflegsinfrontofhim。

  \"Areyouready,Mr。Rogers?\"

  \"Readysir。\"

  Thekick,launched。

  \"Haveyougotthatoneclassified,Mr。Rogers?\"

  \"Letmestudyaminute,sir。\"

  \"Takeasmuchtimeasyouplease。Letmeknowwhenyouareready。\"

  ForasmuchasaminuteRogerspondered,withalleyesandabreathlessinterestfasteneduponhim。Thenhegavetheword:\"Ready,sir。\"

  \"Kick!\"

  Thekickthatfollowedwasanexactduplicateofthefirstone。

  \"Now,then,Mr。Rogers,oneofthosekickswasanindividualkick,notamutualone。Youwillnowstatepositivelywhichwasthemutualone。\"

  Thewitnesssaid,withacrestfallenlook:

  \"I’vegottogiveitup。Thereain’tanymanintheworldthatcouldtellt’otherfromwhich,sir。\"

  \"Doyoustillassertthatlastnight’skickwasamutualkick?\"

  \"Indeed,Idon’t,sir。\"

  \"Thatwilldo,Mr。Rogers。IfmybrotherAllendesirestoaddressthecourt,yourhonor,verywell;butasfarasIamconcernedIamreadytoletthecasebeatoncedeliveredintothehandsofthisintelligentjurywithoutcomment。\"

  Mr。JusticeRobinsonhadbeeninofficeonlytwomonths,andinthatshorttimehadnothadmanycasestotry,ofcourse。Hehadnoknowledgeoflawsandcourtsexceptwhathehadpickedupsincehecameintooffice。Hewasasoretroubletothelawyers,forhisrulingswereprettyeccentricsometimes,andhestoodbythemwithRomansimplicityandfortitude;butthepeoplewerewellsatisfiedwithhim,fortheysawthathisintentionswerealwaysright,thathewasentirelyimpartial,andthatheusuallymadeupingoodsensewhathelackedintechnique,sotospeak。Henowperceivedthattherewaslikelytobeamiscarriageofjusticehere,andherosetotheoccasion。

  \"Waitamoment,gentlemen,\"hesaid,\"itisplainthatanassaulthasbeencommitteditisplaintoanybody;butthewaythingsaregoing,theguiltywillcertainlyescapeconviction。Icannotallowthis。Now——-\"

  \"But,yourhonor!\"saidWilson,interruptinghim,earnestlybutrespectfully,\"youaredecidingthecaseyourself,whereasthejury——\"

  \"Nevermindthejury,Mr。Wilson;thejurywillhaveachancewhenthereisareasonabledoubtforthemtotakeholdof——whichthereisn’t,sofar。Thereisnodoubtwhateverthatanassaulthasbeencommitted。

  Theattempttoshowthatbothoftheaccusedcommittedithasfailed。

  Aretheybothtoescapejusticeonthataccount?Notinthiscourt,ifIcanpreventit。Itappearstohavebeenamistaketobringthechargeagainstthemasacorporation;eachshouldhavebeenchargedinhiscapacityasanindividual,and——\"

  \"But,yourhonor!\"saidWilson,\"infairnesstomyclientsImustinsistthatinasmuchastheprosecution’dnotseparatethe——\"

  \"Nowrongwillbedoneyourclients,sir——theywillbeprotected;

  alsothepublicandtheoffendedlaws。Mr。Allen,youwillamendyourpleadings,andputoneoftheaccusedontrialatatime。\"

  Wilsonbrokein:\"But,yourhonor!thisiswhollyunprecedented!

  Toimperilanaccusedpersonbyarbitrarilyalteringandwideningthechargeagainsthiminordertocompasshisconvictionwhenthechargeasoriginallybroughtpromisestofailtoconvict,isathingunheardofbefore。\"

  \"Unheardofwhere?\"

  \"Inthecourtsofthisoranyotherstate。\"

  Thejudgesaidwithdignity:\"Iamnotacquaintedwiththecustomsofothercourts,andamnotconcernedtoknowwhattheyare。Iamresponsibleforthiscourt,andIcannotconscientiouslyallowmyjudgmenttobewarpedandmyjudiciallibertyhamperedbytryingtoconformtothecapricesofothercourts,bethey——\"

  \"But,yourhonor,theoldestandhighestcourtsinEurope——\"

  \"ThiscourtisnotrunontheEuropeanplan,Mr。Wilson;itisnotrunonanyplanbutitsown。Ithasaplanofitsown;andthatplanis,tofindjusticeforbothStateandaccused,nomatterwhathappenstobepracticeandcustominEuropeoranywhereelse。\"(Greatapplause。)

  \"Silence!Ithasnotbeenthecustomofthiscourttoimitateothercourts;ithasnotbeenthecustomofthiscourttotakeshelterbehindthedecisionsofothercourts,andwewillnotbeginnow。WewilldothebestwecanbythelightthatGodhasgivenus,andwhilethis’courtcontinuestohaveHisapproval,itwillremainindifferenttowhatotherorganizationsmaythinkofit。\"(Applause。)\"Gentlemen,Imusthaveorder!——quietyourselves!Mr。Allen,youwillnowproceedagainsttheprisonersoneatatime。Goonwiththecase。\"

  Allenwasnotathisease。However,afterwhisperingamomentwithhisclientandwithoneortwootherpeople,heroseandsaid:

  \"Yourhonor,Ifindittobereportedandbelievedthattheaccusedareabletoactindependentlyinmanyways,butthatthisindependencedoesnotextendtotheirlegs,authorityovertheirlegsbeingvestedexclusivelyintheonebrotherduringaspecifictermofdays,andthenpassingtotheotherbrotherforaliketerm,andsoon,byregularalternation。Icouldcallwitnesseswhowouldprovethattheaccusedhadrevealedtothemtheexistenceofthisextraordinaryfact,andhadalsomadeknownwhichofthemwasinpossessionofthelegsyesterday——andthiswould,ofcourse,indicatewheretheguiltoftheassaultbelongs——

  butasthiswouldbemerehearsayevidence,theserevelationsnothavingbeenmadeunderoath\"

  \"Nevermindaboutthat,Mr。Allen。Itmaynotallbehearsay。Weshallsee。Itmayatleasthelptoputusontherighttrack。Callthewitnesses。\"

  \"ThenIwillcallMr。JohnBuckstone,whoisnowpresent,andIbegthatMrs。PatsyCoopermaybesentfor。Takethestand,Mr。Buckstone。\"

  Buckstonetooktheoath,andthentestifiedthatonthepreviouseveningtheCountAngeloCapellohadprotestedagainstgoingtothehall,andhadcalledallpresenttowitnessthathewasgoingbycompulsionandwouldnotgoifhecouldhelphimself。Also,thattheCountLuigihadrepliedsharplythathewouldgo,justthesame,andthathe,CountLuigi,wouldseetothathimself。Also,thatuponCountAngelo’scomplainingaboutbeingkeptonhislegssolong,CountLuigiretortedwithapparentsurprise,\"Yourlegs!——Ilikeyourimpudence!\"

  \"Nowwearegettingatthekernelofthething,\"observedthejudge,withgraveandearnestsatisfaction。\"ItlooksasiftheCountLuigiwasinpossessionofthebatteryatthetimeoftheassault。\"

  NothingfurtherwaselicitedfromMr。Buckstoneondirectexamination。

  Mr。Wilsontookthewitness。

  \"Mr。Buckstone,aboutwhattimewasitthatthatconversationtookplace?\"

  \"Towardnineyesterdayevening,sir。\"

  \"Didyouthenproceeddirectlytothehall?\"

  \"Yes,sir。\"

  \"Howlongdidittakeyoutogothere?\"

  \"Well,wewalked;andasitwasfromtheextremeedgeofthetown,andtherewasnohurry,Ijudgeittookusabouttwentyminutes,maybeatriflemore。\"

  \"Aboutwhathourwasthekickdelivered?\"

  \"Aboutthirteenminutesandahalftoten。\"

  \"Admirable!Youareapatternwitness,Mr。Buckstone。Howdidyouhappentolookatyourwatchatthatparticularmoment?\"

  \"IalwaysdoitwhenIseeanassault。It’slikelyIshallbecalledasawitness,andit’sagoodpointtohave。\"

  \"Itwouldbewellifotherswereasthoughtful。Wasanythingsaid,betweentheconversationatmyhouseandtheassault,uponthedetailwhichwearenowexamininginto?\"

  \"No,sir。\"

  \"Ifpoweroverthemutuallegswasinthepossessionofonebrotheratnine,andpassedintothepossessionoftheotheroneduringthenextthirtyorfortyminutes,doyouthinkyoucouldhavedetectedthechange?\"

  \"Bynomeans!\"

  \"Thatisall,Mr。Buckstone。\"

  Mrs。PatsyCooperwascalled。Thecrowdmadewayforher,andshecamesmilingandbowingthroughthenarrowhumanlane,withBetsyHale,asescortandsupport,smilingandbowinginherwake,theaudiencebreakingintowelcomingcheersastheoldfavoritesfiledalong。Thejudgedidnotcheckthiskindlydemonstrationofhomageandaffection,butletitrunitscourseunrebuked。

  Theoldladiesstoppedandshookhandswiththetwinswitheffusion,thengavethejudgeafriendlynod,andbustledintotheseatsprovidedforthem。Theyimmediatelybegantodeliveravolleyofeagerquestionsatthefriendsaroundthem:\"Whatisthisthingfor?\"\"Whatisthatthingfor?\"\"Whoisthatyoungmanthat’swritingatthedesk?Why,I

  declare,it’sJackBunce!Ithoughthewassick。\"\"Whichisthejury?

  Why,isthatthejury?BillyPriceandJobTurner,andJackLounsbury,and——well,Inever!\"\"Nowwhowouldever’a’thought——\"

  Buttheyweregentlycalledtoorderatthispoint,andaskednottotalkincourt。Theirtonguesfellsilent,buttheradiantinterestintheirfacesremained,andtheirgratitudefortheblessingofanewsensationandanovelexperiencestillbeamedundimmedfromtheireyes。AuntPatsystoodupandtooktheoath,andMr。Allenexplainedthepointinissue,andaskedhertogoonnow,inherownway,andthrowasmuchlightuponitasshecould。Shetoyedwithherreticuleamomentortwo,asifconsideringwheretobegin,thenshesaid:

  \"Well,thewayofitisthis。TheyareLuigi’slegsaweekatatime,andthentheyareAngelo’s,andhecandowhateverhewantstowiththem。\"

  \"Youaremakingamistake,AuntPatsyCooper,\"saidthejudge。\"Youshouldn’tstatethatasafact,becauseyoudon’tknowittobeafact。\"

  \"What’sthereasonIdon’t?\"saidAuntPatsy,bridlingalittle。

  \"Whatisthereasonthatyoudoknowit?\"

  \"Thebestintheworldbecausetheytoldme。\"

  \"Thatisn’tareason。\"

  \"Well,fortheland’ssake!BetsyHale,doyouhearthat?\"

  \"Hearit?Ishouldthinkso,\"saidAuntBetsy,risingandfacingthecourt。\"Why,Judge,Iwasthereandhearditmyself。LuigisaystoAngelo——no,itwasAngelosaiditto——\"

  \"Come,come,Mrs。Hale,praysitdown,and——\"

  \"Certainly,it’sallright,I’mgoingtositdownpresently,butnotuntilI’ve——\"

  \"Butyoumustsitdown!\"

  \"Must!Well,uponmywordifthingsain’tgettingtoaprettypasswhen——\"

  Thehousebrokeintolaughter,butwaspromptlybroughttoorder,andmeantimeMr。Allenpersuadedtheoldladytotakeherseat。AuntPatsycontinued:

  \"Yes,theytoldmethat,andIknowit’strue。They’reLuigi’slegsthisweek,but——\"

  \"Ah,theytoldyouthat,didthey?\"saidtheJustice,withinterest。

  \"Well,no,Idon’tknowthattheytoldme,butthat’sneitherherenorthere。Iknow,withoutthat,thatatdinneryesterday,Angelowasastiredasadog,andyetLuigiwouldn’tlendhimthelegstogoup-stairsandtakeanapwith。\"

  \"Didheaskforthem?\"

  \"Letmesee——itseemstome,somehow,that——that——AuntBetsy,doyourememberwhetherhe——\"

  \"NevermindaboutwhatAuntBetsyremembers——sheisnotawitness;weonlywanttoknowwhatyourememberyourself,\"saidthejudge。

  \"Well,itdoesseemto,methatyouaremostcantankerouslyparticularaboutalittlething,SimRobinson。Why,whenIcan’trememberathingmyself,Ialways——\"

  \"Ah,pleasegoon!\"

  \"Nowhowcanshewhenyoukeepfussingatherallthetime?\"saidAuntBetsy。\"Why,withapersonpeckingatmethatway,Ishouldgetthatfuzzledandfuddledthat——\"

  Shewasonherfeetagain,butAllencoaxedherintoherseatoncemore,whilethecourtsquelchedthemirthofthehouse。Thenthejudgesaid:

  \"Madam,doyouknow——doyouabsolutelyknow,independentlyofanythingthesegentlemenhavetoldyou——thatthepowerovertheirlegspassesfromtheonetotheotherregularlyeveryweek?\"

  \"Regularly?Blessyourheart,regularlyain’tanynamefortheexactnessofit!AllthebigcitiesinEuropeusedtosettheclocksbyit。\"

  (Laughter,suppressedbythecourt。)

  \"Howdoyouknow?Thatisthequestion。Pleaseansweritplainlyandsquarely。\"

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