第2章
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  Afterscoringovermycalmnessinthisgraphicwayhenoddedwisely。

  IfIhadseenthesight,heassuredme,IwouldneverforgetitaslongasIlived。Theweatherwastoobadtogivethecorpseaproperseaburial。

  Sonextdayatdawntheytookituponthepoop,coveringitsfacewithabitofbunting;hereadashortprayer,andthen,justasitwas,initsoilskinsandlongboots,theylauncheditamongstthosemountainousseasthatseemedreadyeverymomenttoswallowuptheshipherselfandtheterrifiedlivesonboardofher。

  \"Thatreefedforesailsavedyou,\"Ithrewin。

  \"UnderGod——itdid,\"heexclaimedfervently。\"Itwasbyaspecialmercy,Ifirmlybelieve,thatitstoodsomeofthosehurricanesqualls。\"

  \"Itwasthesettingofthatsailwhich——\"Ibegan。

  \"God’sownhandinit,\"heinterruptedme。\"Nothinglesscouldhavedoneit。

  Idon’tmindtellingyouthatIhardlydaredgivetheorder。

  Itseemedimpossiblethatwecouldtouchanythingwithoutlosingit,andthenourlasthopewouldhavebeengone。\"

  Theterrorofthatgalewasonhimyet。Ilethimgoonforabit,thensaid,casually——asifreturningtoaminorsubject:

  \"Youwereveryanxioustogiveupyourmatetotheshorepeople,Ibelieve?\"

  Hewas。Tothelaw。Hisobscuretenacityonthatpointhadinitsomethingincomprehensibleandalittleawful;something,asitwere,mystical,quiteapartfromhisanxietythatheshouldnotbesuspectedof\"countenancinganydoingsofthatsort。\"

  Seven-and-thirtyvirtuousyearsatsea,ofwhichovertwentyofimmaculatecommand,andthelastfifteenintheSephora,seemedtohavelaidhimundersomepitilessobligation。

  \"Andyouknow,\"hewenton,gropingshame-facedlyamongsthisfeelings,\"Ididnotengagethatyoungfellow。Hispeoplehadsomeinterestwithmyowners。Iwasinawayforcedtotakehimon。

  Helookedverysmart,verygentlemanly,andallthat。

  Butdoyouknow——Ineverlikedhim,somehow。Iamaplainman。

  Yousee,hewasn’texactlythesortforthechiefmateofashipliketheSephora。\"

  IhadbecomesoconnectedinthoughtsandimpressionswiththesecretsharerofmycabinthatIfeltasifI,personally,werebeinggiventounderstandthatI,too,wasnotthesortthatwouldhavedoneforthechiefmateofashipliketheSephora。

  Ihadnodoubtofitinmymind。

  \"Notatallthestyleofman。Youunderstand,\"heinsisted,superfluously,lookinghardatme。

  Ismiledurbanely。Heseemedatalossforawhile。

  \"IsupposeImustreportasuicide。\"

  \"Begpardon?\"

  \"Suicide!That’swhatI’llhavetowritetomyownersdirectlyIgetin。\"

  \"Unlessyoumanagetorecoverhimbeforetomorrow,\"

  Iassented,dispassionately……\"Imean,alive。\"

  HemumbledsomethingwhichIreallydidnotcatch,andIturnedmyeartohiminapuzzledmanner。Hefairlybawled:

  \"Theland——Isay,themainlandisatleastsevenmilesoffmyanchorage。\"

  \"Aboutthat。\"

  Mylackofexcitement,ofcuriosity,ofsurprise,ofanysortofpronouncedinterest,begantoarousehisdistrust。

  ButexceptforthefelicitouspretenseofdeafnessIhadnottriedtopretendanything。Ihadfeltutterlyincapableofplayingthepartofignoranceproperly,andthereforewasafraidtotry。

  Itisalsocertainthathehadbroughtsomeready-madesuspicionswithhim,andthatheviewedmypolitenessasastrangeandunnaturalphenomenon。AndyethowelsecouldIhavereceivedhim?

  Notheartily!Thatwasimpossibleforpsychologicalreasons,whichIneednotstatehere。Myonlyobjectwastokeepoffhisinquiries。Surlily?Yes,butsurlinessmighthaveprovokedapoint-blankquestion。Fromitsnoveltytohimandfromitsnature,punctiliouscourtesywasthemannerbestcalculatedtorestraintheman。

  Buttherewasthedangerofhisbreakingthroughmydefensebluntly。

  Icouldnot,Ithink,havemethimbyadirectlie,alsoforpsychological(notmoral)reasons。IfhehadonlyknownhowafraidIwasofhisputtingmyfeelingofidentitywiththeothertothetest!

  But,strangelyenough——(Ithoughtofitonlyafterwards)——

  Ibelievethathewasnotalittledisconcertedbythereversesideofthatweirdsituation,bysomethinginmethatremindedhimofthemanhewasseeking——suggestedamysterioussimilitudetotheyoungfellowhehaddistrustedanddislikedfromthefirst。

  Howeverthatmighthavebeen,thesilencewasnotveryprolonged。

  Hetookanotherobliquestep。

  \"IreckonIhadnomorethanatwo-milepulltoyourship。

  Notabitmore。\"

  \"Andquiteenough,too,inthisawfulheat,\"Isaid。

  Anotherpausefullofmistrustfollowed。Necessity,theysay,ismotherofinvention,butfear,too,isnotbarrenofingenioussuggestions。

  AndIwasafraidhewouldaskmepoint-blankfornewsofmyotherself。

  \"Nicelittlesaloon,isn’tit?\"Iremarked,asifnoticingforthefirsttimethewayhiseyesroamedfromonecloseddoortotheother。

  \"Andverywellfittedout,too。Here,forinstance,\"Icontinued,reachingoverthebackofmyseatnegligentlyandflingingthedooropen,\"ismybathroom。\"

  Hemadeaneagermovement,buthardlygaveitaglance。

  Igotup,shutthedoorofthebathroom,andinvitedhimtohavealookround,asifIwereveryproudofmyaccomodation。

  Hehadtoriseandbeshownround,buthewentthroughthebusinesswithoutanyraptureswhatever。

  \"Andnowwe’llhavealookatmystateroom,\"Ideclared,inavoiceasloudasIdaredtomakeit,crossingthecabintothestarboardsidewithpurposelyheavysteps。

  Hefollowedmeinandgazedaround。Myintelligentdoublehadvanished。

  Iplayedmypart。

  \"Veryconvenient——isn’tit?\"

  Verynice。Verycomf……\"Hedidn’tfinishandwentoutbrusquelyasiftoescapefromsomeunrighteouswilesofmine。

  Butitwasnottobe。Ihadbeentoofrightenednottofeelvengeful;

  IfeltIhadhimontherun,andImeanttokeephimontherun。

  Mypoliteinsistencemusthavehadsomethingmenacinginit,becausehegaveinsuddenly。AndIdidnotlethimoffasingleitem;

  mate’sroom,pantry,storerooms,theverysaillockerwhichwasalsounderthepoop——hehadtolookintothemall。WhenatlastI

  showedhimoutonthequarter-deckhedrewalong,spiritlesssigh,andmumbleddismallythathemustreallybegoingbacktohisshipnow。

  Idesiredmymate,whohadjoinedus,toseetothecaptain’sboat。

  Themanofwhiskersgaveablastonthewhistlewhichheusedtowearhangingroundhisneck,andyelled,\"Sephora’saway!\"

  Mydoubledownthereinmycabinmusthaveheard,andcertainlycouldnotfeelmorerelievedthanI。Fourfellowscamerunningoutfromsomewhereforwardandwentovertheside,whilemyownmen,appearingondecktoo,linedtherail。Iescortedmyvisitortothegangwayceremoniously,andnearlyoverdidit。

  Hewasatenaciousbeast。Ontheveryladderhelingered,andinthatunique,guiltilyconscientiousmannerofstickingtothepoint:

  \"Isay……you……youdon’tthinkthat——\"

  Icoveredhisvoiceloudly:

  \"Certainlynot……Iamdelighted。Good-by。\"

  Ihadanideaofwhathemeanttosay,andjustsavedmyselfbytheprivilegeofdefectivehearing。Hewastooshakengenerallytoinsist,butmymate,closewitnessofthatparting,lookedmystifiedandhisfacetookonathoughtfulcast。

  AsIdidnotwanttoappearasifIwishedtoavoidallcommunicationwithmyofficers,hehadtheopportunitytoaddressme。

  \"Seemsaveryniceman。Hisboat’screwtoldourchapsaveryextraordinarystory,ifwhatIamtoldbythestewardistrue。

  Isupposeyouhaditfromthecaptain,sir?\"

  \"Yes。Ihadastoryfromthecaptain。\"

  \"Averyhorribleaffair——isn’tit,sir?\"

  \"Itis。\"

  \"BeatsallthesetaleswehearaboutmurdersinYankeeships。\"

  \"Idon’tthinkitbeatsthem。Idon’tthinkitresemblesthemintheleast。\"

  \"Blessmysoul——youdon’tsayso!ButofcourseI’venoacquaintancewhateverwithAmericanships,notIsoIcouldn’tgoagainstyourknowledge。It’shorribleenoughforme……Butthequeerestpartisthatthosefellowsseemedtohavesomeideathemanwashiddenaboardhere。Theyhadreally。

  Didyoueverhearofsuchathing?\"

  \"Preposterous——isn’tit?\"

  Wewerewalkingtoandfroathwartthequarter-deck。Nooneofthecrewforwardcouldbeseen(thedaywasSunday),andthematepursued:

  \"Therewassomelittledisputeaboutit。Ourchapstookoffense。

  `Asifwewouldharborathinglikethat,’theysaid。

  `Wouldn’tyouliketolookforhiminourcoal-hole?’Quiteatiff。

  Buttheymadeitupintheend。Isupposehediddrownhimself。

  Don’tyou,sir?\"

  \"Idon’tsupposeanything。\"

  \"Youhavenodoubtinthematter,sir?\"

  \"Nonewhatever。\"

  Ilefthimsuddenly。IfeltIwasproducingabadimpression,butwithmydoubledownthereitwasmosttryingtobeondeck。Anditwasalmostastryingtobebelow。Altogetheranerve-tryingsituation。

  ButonthewholeIfeltlesstornintwowhenIwaswithhim。

  TherewasnooneinthewholeshipwhomIdaredtakeintomyconfidence。Sincethehandshadgottoknowhisstory,itwouldhavebeenimpossibletopasshimoffforanyoneelse,andanaccidentaldiscoverywastobedreadednowmorethanever……

  Thestewardbeingengagedinlayingthetablefordinner,wecouldtalkonlywithoureyeswhenIfirstwentdown。

  Laterintheafternoonwehadacautioustryatwhispering。

  TheSundayquietnessoftheshipwasagainstus;thestillnessofairandwateraroundherwasagainstus;theelements,themenwereagainstus——everythingwasagainstusinoursecretpartnership;timeitself——forthiscouldnotgoonforever。

  TheverytrustinProvidencewas,Isuppose,deniedtohisguilt。

  ShallIconfessthatthisthoughtcastmedownverymuch?

  Andastothechapterofaccidentswhichcountsforsomuchinthebookofsuccess,Icouldonlyhopethatitwasclosed。

  Forwhatfavorableaccidentcouldbeexpected?

  \"Didyouheareverything?\"weremyfirstwordsassoonaswetookupourpositionsidebyside,leaningovermybedplace。

  Hehad。Andtheproofofitwashisearnestwhisper,\"Themantoldyouhehardlydaredtogivetheorder。\"

  Iunderstoodthereferencetobetothatsavingforesail。

  \"Yes。Hewasafraidofitbeinglostinthesetting。\"

  \"Iassureyouhenevergavetheorder。Hemaythinkhedid,buthenevergaveit。Hestoodtherewithmeonthebreakofthepoopafterthemaintopsailblewaway,andwhimperedaboutourlasthope——

  positivelywhimperedaboutitandnothingelse——andthenightcomingon!

  Tohearone’sskippergoonlikethatinsuchweatherwasenoughtodriveanyfellowoutofhismind。Itworkedmeupintoasortofdesperation。Ijusttookitintomyownhandsandwentawayfromhim,boiling,and——Butwhat’stheusetellingyou?

  YOUknow!……DoyouthinkthatifIhadnotbeenprettyfiercewiththemIshouldhavegotthementodoanything?NotIt!

  Thebo’s’nperhaps?Perhaps!Itwasn’taheavysea——itwasaseagonemad!Isupposetheendoftheworldwillbesomethinglikethat;

  andamanmayhavethehearttoseeitcomingonceandbedonewithit——

  buttohavetofaceitdayafterday——Idon’tblameanybody。

  Iwaspreciouslittlebetterthantherest。Only——Iwasanofficerofthatoldcoalwagon,anyhow——\"

  \"Iquiteunderstand,\"Iconveyedthatsincereassuranceintohisear。

  Hewasoutofbreathwithwhispering;Icouldhearhimpantslightly。

  Itwasallverysimple。Thesamestrung-upforcewhichhadgiventwenty-fourmenachance,atleast,fortheirlives,had,inasortofrecoil,crushedanunworthymutinousexistence。

  ButIhadnoleisuretoweighthemeritsofthematter——

  footstepsinthesaloon,aheavyknock。\"There’senoughwindtogetunderwaywith,sir。\"Herewasthecallofanewclaimuponmythoughtsandevenuponmyfeelings。

  \"Turnthehandsup,\"Icriedthroughthedoor。\"I’llbeondeckdirectly。\"

  Iwasgoingouttomaketheacquaintanceofmyship。

  BeforeIleftthecabinoureyesmet——theeyesoftheonlytwostrangersonboard。Ipointedtotherecessedpartwherethelittlecampstoolawaitedhimandlaidmyfingeronmylips。

  Hemadeagesture——somewhatvague——alittlemysterious,accompaniedbyafaintsmile,asifofregret。

  Thisisnottheplacetoenlargeuponthesensationsofamanwhofeelsforthefirsttimeashipmoveunderhisfeettohisownindependentword。Inmycasetheywerenotunalloyed。

  Iwasnotwhollyalonewithmycommand;fortherewasthatstrangerinmycabin。Orrather,Iwasnotcompletelyandwhollywithher。

  Partofmewasabsent。Thatmentalfeelingofbeingintwoplacesatonceaffectedmephysicallyasifthemoodofsecrecyhadpenetratedmyverysoul。Beforeanhourhadelapsedsincetheshiphadbeguntomove,havingoccasiontoaskthemate(hestoodbymyside)totakeacompassbearingofthepagoda,Icaughtmyselfreachinguptohisearinwhispers。

  IsayIcaughtmyself,butenoughhadescapedtostartletheman。

  Ican’tdescribeitotherwisethanbysayingthatheshied。

  Agrave,preoccupiedmanner,asthoughhewereinpossessionofsomeperplexingintelligence,didnotleavehimhenceforth。

  AlittlelaterImovedawayfromtherailtolookatthecompasswithsuchastealthygaitthatthehelmsmannoticedit——

  andIcouldnothelpnoticingtheunusualroundnessofhiseyes。

  Thesearetriflinginstances,thoughit’stonocommander’sadvantagetobesuspectedofludicrouseccentricities。

  ButIwasalsomoreseriouslyaffected。Therearetoaseamancertainwords,gestures,thatshouldingivenconditionscomeasnaturally,asinstinctivelyasthewinkingofamenacedeye。

  Acertainordershouldspringontohislipswithoutthinking;

  acertainsignshouldgetitselfmade,sotospeak,withoutreflection。Butallunconsciousalertnesshadabandonedme。

  Ihadtomakeaneffortofwilltorecallmyselfback(fromthecabin)totheconditionsofthemoment。

  IfeltthatIwasappearinganirresolutecommandertothosepeoplewhowerewatchingmemoreorlesscritically。

  And,besides,therewerethescares。Ontheseconddayout,forinstance,comingoffthedeckintheafternoon(Ihadstrawslippersonmybarefeet)Istoppedattheopenpantrydoorandspoketothesteward。Hewasdoingsomethingtherewithhisbacktome。

  Atthesoundofmyvoicehenearlyjumpedoutofhisskin,asthesayingis,andincidentallybrokeacup。

  \"Whatonearth’sthematterwithyou?\"Iasked,astonished。

  Hewasextremelyconfused。\"Begyourpardon,sir。Imadesureyouwereinyourcabin。\"

  \"YouseeIwasn’t。\"

  \"No,sir。IcouldhaveswornIhadheardyoumovingintherenotamomentago。It’smostextraordinary……verysorry,sir。\"

  Ipassedonwithaninwardshudder。IwassoidentifiedwithmysecretdoublethatIdidnotevenmentionthefactinthosescanty,fearfulwhispersweexchanged。

  Isupposehehadmadesomeslightnoiseofsomekindorother。

  Itwouldhavebeenmiraculousifhehadn’tatonetimeoranother。

  Andyet,haggardasheappeared,helookedalwaysperfectlyself-controlled,morethancalm——almostinvulnerable。

  Onmysuggestionheremainedalmostentirelyinthebathroom,which,uponthewhole,wasthesafestplace。

  Therecouldbereallynoshadowofanexcuseforanyoneeverwantingtogointhere,oncethestewardhaddonewithit。

  Itwasaverytinyplace。Sometimeshereclinedonthefloor,hislegsbent,hisheadsustainedononeelbow。

  AtothersIwouldfindhimonthecampstool,sittinginhisgraysleepingsuitandwithhiscroppeddarkhairlikeapatient,unmovedconvict。AtnightIwouldsmugglehimintomybedplace,andwewouldwhispertogether,withtheregularfootfallsoftheofficerofthewatchpassingandrepassingoverourheads。

  Itwasaninfinitelymiserabletime。Itwasluckythatsometinsoffinepreserveswerestowedinalockerinmystateroom;

  hardbreadIcouldalwaysgetholdof;andsohelivedonstewedchicken,PATEDEFOIEGRAS,asparagus,cookedoysters,sardines——

  onallsortsofabominableshamdelicaciesoutoftins。

  Myearly-morningcoffeehealwaysdrank;anditwasallI

  dareddoforhiminthatrespect。

  Everydaytherewasthehorriblemaneuveringtogothroughsothatmyroomandthenthebathroomshouldbedoneintheusualway。Icametohatethesightofthesteward,toabhorthevoiceofthatharmlessman。

  Ifeltthatitwashewhowouldbringonthedisasterofdiscovery。

  Ithunglikeaswordoverourheads。

  Thefourthdayout,Ithink(wewerethenworkingdowntheeastsideoftheGulfofSiam,tackfortack,inlightwindsandsmoothwater)——

  thefourthday,Isay,ofthismiserablejugglingwiththeunavoidable,aswesatatoureveningmeal,thatman,whoseslightestmovementIdreaded,afterputtingdownthedishesranupondeckbusily。

  Thiscouldnotbedangerous。Presentlyhecamedownagain;

  andthenitappearedthathehadrememberedacoatofminewhichIhadthrownoverarailtodryafterhavingbeenwettedinashowerwhichhadpassedovertheshipintheafternoon。

  SittingstolidlyattheheadofthetableIbecameterrifiedatthesightofthegarmentonhisarm。Ofcoursehemadeformydoor。

  Therewasnotimetolose。

  \"Steward,\"Ithundered。MynervesweresoshakenthatI

  couldnotgovernmyvoiceandconcealmyagitation。

  Thiswasthesortofthingthatmademyterrificallywhiskeredmatetaphisforeheadwithhisforefinger。

  Ihaddetectedhimusingthatgesturewhiletalkingondeckwithaconfidentialairtothecarpenter。Itwastoofartohearaword,butIhadnodoubtthatthispantomimecouldonlyrefertothestrangenewcaptain。

  \"Yes,sir,\"thepale-facedstewardturnedresignedlytome。

  Itwasthismaddeningcourseofbeingshoutedat,checkedwithoutrhymeorreason,arbitrarilychasedoutofmycabin,suddenlycalledintoit,sentflyingoutofhispantryonincomprehensibleerrands,thataccountedforthegrowingwretchednessofhisexpression。

  \"Whereareyougoingwiththatcoat?\"

  \"Toyourroom,sir。\"

  \"Isthereanothershowercoming?\"

  \"I’msureIdon’tknow,sir。ShallIgoupagainandsee,sir?\"

  \"No!nevermind。\"

  Myobjectwasattained,asofcoursemyotherselfintherewouldhaveheardeverythingthatpassed。Duringthisinterludemytwoofficersneverraisedtheireyesofftheirrespectiveplates;butthelipofthatconfoundedcub,thesecondmate,quiveredvisibly。

  Iexpectedthestewardtohookmycoatonandcomeoutatonce。

  Hewasveryslowaboutit;butIdominatedmynervousnesssufficientlynottoshoutafterhim。SuddenlyIbecameaware(itcouldbeheardplainlyenough)thatthefellowforsomereasonorotherwasopeningthedoorofthebathroom。Itwastheend。

  Theplacewasliterallynotbigenoughtoswingacatin。

  MyvoicediedinmythroatandIwentstonyallover。

  Iexpectedtohearayellofsurpriseandterror,andmadeamovement,buthadnotthestrengthtogetonmylegs。

  Everythingremainedstill。Hadmysecondselftakenthepoorwretchbythethroat?Idon’tknowwhatIcouldhavedonenextmomentifIhadnotseenthestewardcomeoutofmyroom,closethedoor,andthenstandquietlybythesideboard。

  \"Saved,\"Ithought。\"But,no!Lost!Gone!Hewasgone!\"

  Ilaidmyknifeandforkdownandleanedbackinmychair。Myheadswam。

  Afterawhile,whensufficientlyrecoveredtospeakinasteadyvoice,Iinstructedmymatetoputtheshiproundateighto’clockhimself。

  \"Iwon’tcomeondeck,\"Iwenton。\"IthinkI’llturnin,andunlessthewindshiftsIdon’twanttobedisturbedbeforemidnight。

  Ifeelabitseedy。\"

  \"Youdidlookmiddlingbadalittlewhileago,\"thechiefmateremarkedwithoutshowinganygreatconcern。

  Theybothwentout,andIstaredatthestewardclearingthetable。

  Therewasnothingtobereadonthatwretchedman’sface。

  Butwhydidheavoidmyeyes,Iaskedmyself。ThenIthoughtI

  shouldliketohearthesoundofhisvoice。

  \"Steward!\"

  \"Sir!\"Startledasusual。

  \"Wheredidyouhangupthatcoat?\"

  \"Inthebathroom,sir。\"Theusualanxioustone。

  \"It’snotquitedryyet,sir。\"

  ForsometimelongerIsatinthecuddy。Hadmydoublevanishedashehadcome?Butofhiscomingtherewasanexplanation,whereashisdisappearancewouldbeinexplicable……Iwentslowlyintomydarkroom,shutthedoor,lightedthelamp,andforatimedarednotturnround。WhenatlastIdidI

  sawhimstandingbolt-uprightinthenarrowrecessedpart。

  ItwouldnotbetruetosayIhadashock,butanirresistibledoubtofhisbodilyexistenceflittedthroughmymind。

  Canitbe,Iaskedmyself,thatheisnotvisibletoothereyesthanmine?Itwaslikebeinghaunted。Motionless,withagraveface,heraisedhishandsslightlyatmeinagesturewhichmeantclearly,\"Heavens!whatanarrowescape!\"

  Narrowindeed。IthinkIhadcomecreepingquietlyasnearinsanityasanymanwhohasnotactuallygoneovertheborder。

  Thatgesturerestrainedme,sotospeak。

  Thematewiththeterrificwhiskerswasnowputtingtheshipontheothertack。InthemomentofprofoundsilencewhichfollowsuponthehandsgoingtotheirstationsIheardonthepoophisraisedvoice:\"Hardalee!\"andthedistantshoutoftheorderrepeatedonthemain-deck。Thesails,inthatlightbreeze,madebutafaintflutteringnoise。

  Itceased。Theshipwascomingroundslowly:Iheldmybreathintherenewedstillnessofexpectation;onewouldn’thavethoughtthattherewasasinglelivingsoulonherdecks。

  Asuddenbriskshout,\"Mainsailhaul!\"brokethespell,andinthenoisycriesandrushoverheadofthemenrunningawaywiththemainbracewetwo,downinmycabin,cametogetherinourusualpositionbythebedplace。

  Hedidnotwaitformyquestion。\"Iheardhimfumblinghereandjustmanagedtosquatmyselfdowninthebath,\"hewhisperedtome。

  \"Thefellowonlyopenedthedoorandputhisarmintohangthecoatup。

  Allthesame——\"

  \"Ineverthoughtofthat,\"Iwhisperedback,evenmoreappalledthanbeforeattheclosenessoftheshave,andmarvelingatthatsomethingunyieldinginhischaracterwhichwascarryinghimthroughsofinely。Therewasnoagitationinhiswhisper。

  Whoeverwasbeingdrivendistracted,itwasnothe。Hewassane。

  Andtheproofofhissanitywascontinuedwhenhetookupthewhisperingagain。

  \"Itwouldneverdoformetocometolifeagain。\"

  Itwassomethingthataghostmighthavesaid。Butwhathewasalludingtowashisoldcaptain’sreluctantadmissionofthetheoryofsuicide。

  Itwouldobviouslyservehisturn——ifIhadunderstoodatalltheviewwhichseemedtogoverntheunalterablepurposeofhisaction。

  \"YoumustmaroonmeassoonaseveryoucangetamongsttheseislandsofftheCambodgeshore,\"hewenton。

  \"Maroonyou!Wearenotlivinginaboy’sadventuretale,\"Iprotested。

  Hisscornfulwhisperingtookmeup。

  \"Wearen’tindeed!There’snothingofaboy’staleinthis。

  Butthere’snothingelseforit。Iwantnomore。

  Youdon’tsupposeIamafraidofwhatcanbedonetome?

  Prisonorgallowsorwhatevertheymayplease。

  Butyoudon’tseemecomingbacktoexplainsuchthingstoanoldfellowinawigandtwelverespectabletradesmen,doyou?WhatcantheyknowwhetherIamguiltyornot——

  orofWHATIamguilty,either?That’smyaffair。

  WhatdoestheBiblesay?`Drivenoffthefaceoftheearth。’

  Verywell,Iamoffthefaceoftheearthnow。AsIcameatnightsoIshallgo。\"

  \"Impossible!\"Imurmured。\"Youcan’t。\"

  \"Can’t?……NotnakedlikeasoulontheDayofJudgment。

  Ishallfreezeontothissleepingsuit。TheLastDayisnotyet——

  and……youhaveunderstoodthoroughly。Didn’tyou?\"

  Ifeltsuddenlyashamedofmyself。ImaysaytrulythatIunderstood——

  andmyhesitationinlettingthatmanswimawayfrommyship’ssidehadbeenamereshamsentiment,asortofcowardice。

  \"Itcan’tbedonenowtillnextnight,\"Ibreathedout。

  \"Theshipisontheoff-shoretackandthewindmayfailus。\"

  \"AslongasIknowthatyouunderstand,\"hewhispered。

  \"Butofcourseyoudo。It’sagreatsatisfactiontohavegotsomebodytounderstand。Youseemtohavebeenthereonpurpose。\"

  Andinthesamewhisper,asifwetwowheneverwetalkedhadtosaythingstoeachotherwhichwerenotfitfortheworldtohear,headded,\"It’sverywonderful。\"

  Weremainedsidebysidetalkinginoursecretway——

  butsometimessilentorjustexchangingawhisperedwordortwoatlongintervals。Andasusualhestaredthroughtheport。

  Abreathofwindcamenowandagainintoourfaces。

  Theshipmighthavebeenmooredindock,sogentlyandonanevenkeelsheslippedthroughthewater,thatdidnotmurmurevenatourpassage,shadowyandsilentlikeaphantomsea。

  AtmidnightIwentondeck,andtomymate’sgreatsurpriseputtheshiproundontheothertack。

  Histerriblewhiskersflittedroundmeinsilentcriticism。

  Icertainlyshouldnothavedoneitifithadbeenonlyaquestionofgettingoutofthatsleepygulfasquicklyaspossible。

  Ibelievehetoldthesecondmate,whorelievedhim,thatitwasagreatwantofjudgment。Theotheronlyyawned。

  Thatintolerablecubshuffledaboutsosleepilyandlolledagainsttherailsinsuchaslack,improperfashionthatI

  camedownonhimsharply。

  \"Aren’tyouproperlyawakeyet?\"

  \"Yes,sir!Iamawake。\"

  \"Well,then,begoodenoughtoholdyourselfasifyouwere。

  Andkeepalookout。Ifthere’sanycurrentwe’llbeclosingwithsomeislandsbeforedaylight。\"

  Theeastsideofthegulfisfringedwithislands,somesolitary,othersingroups。Onethebluebackgroundofthehighcoasttheyseemtofloatonsilverypatchesofcalmwater,aridandgray,ordarkgreenandroundedlikeclumpsofevergreenbushes,withthelargerones,amileortwolong,showingtheoutlinesofridges,ribsofgrayrockunderthedarkmantleofmattedleafage。

  Unknowntotrade,totravel,almosttogeography,themanneroflifetheyharborisanunsolvedsecret。Theremustbevillages——

  settlementsoffishermenatleast——onthelargestofthem,andsomecommunicationwiththeworldisprobablykeptupbynativecraft。

  Butallthatforenoon,asweheadedforthem,fannedalongbythefaintestofbreezes,IsawnosignofmanorcanoeinthefieldofthetelescopeIkeptonpointingatthescatteredgroup。

  AtnoonIhavenoordersforachangeofcourse,andthemate’swhiskersbecamemuchconcernedandseemedtobeofferingthemselvesundulytomynotice。AtlastIsaid:

  \"Iamgoingtostandrightin。Quitein——asfarasIcantakeher。\"

  Thestareofextremesurpriseimpartedanairofferocityalsotohiseyes,andhelookedtrulyterrificforamoment。

  \"We’renotdoingwellinthemiddleofthegulf,\"Icontinued,casually。

  \"Iamgoingtolookforthelandbreezestonight。\"

  \"Blessmysoul!Doyoumean,sir,inthedarkamongstthelotofallthemislandsandreefsandshoals?\"

  \"Well——ifthereareanyregularlandbreezesatallonthiscoastonemustgetcloseinshoretofindthem,mustn’tone?\"

  \"Blessmysoul!\"heexclaimedagainunderhisbreath。

  Allthatafternoonheworeadreamy,contemplativeappearancewhichinhimwasamarkofperplexity。AfterdinnerI

  wentintomystateroomasifImeanttotakesomerest。

  Therewetwobentourdarkheadsoverahalf-unrolledchartlyingonmybed。

  \"There,\"Isaid。\"It’sgottobeKoh-ring。I’vebeenlookingatiteversincesunrise。Ithasgottwohillsandalowpoint。

  Itmustbeinhabited。Andonthecoastoppositethereiswhatlookslikethemouthofabiggishriver——withsometowns,nodoubt,notfarup。

  It’sthebestchanceforyouthatIcansee。\"

  \"Anything。Koh-ringletitbe。\"

  Helookedthoughtfullyatthechartasifsurveyingchancesanddistancesfromaloftyheight——andfollowingwithhiseyeshisownfigurewanderingontheblanklandofCochin-China,andthenpassingoffthatpieceofpapercleanoutofsightintounchartedregions。

  Anditwasasiftheshiphadtwocaptainstoplanhercourseforher。

  IhadbeensoworriedandrestlessrunningupanddownthatI

  hadnothadthepatiencetodressthatday。Ihadremainedinmysleepingsuit,withstrawslippersandasoftfloppyhat。

  Theclosenessoftheheatinthegulfhadbeenmostoppressive,andthecrewwereusedtoseeingmewanderinginthatairyattire。

  \"Shewillclearthesouthpointassheheadsnow,\"Iwhisperedintohisear。

  \"Goodnessonlyknowswhen,though,butcertainlyafterdark。

  I’lledgeherintohalfamile,asfarasImaybeabletojudgeinthedark——\"

  \"Becareful,\"hemurmured,warningly——andIrealizedsuddenlythatallmyfuture,theonlyfutureforwhichIwasfit,wouldperhapsgoirretrievablytopiecesinanymishaptomyfirstcommand。

  Icouldnotstopamomentlongerintheroom。Imotionedhimtogetoutofsightandmademywayonthepoop。Thatunplayfulcubhadthewatch。

  Iwalkedupanddownforawhilethinkingthingsout,thenbeckonedhimover。

  \"Sendacoupleofhandstoopenthetwoquarter-deckports,\"

  Isaid,mildly。

  Heactuallyhadtheimpudence,orelsesoforgothimselfinhiswonderatsuchanincomprehensibleorder,astorepeat:

  \"Openthequarter-deckports!Whatfor,sir?\"

  \"TheonlyreasonyouneedconcernyourselfaboutisbecauseItellyoutodoso。Havethemopenwideandfastenedproperly。\"

  Hereddenedandwentoff,butIbelievemadesomejeeringremarktothecarpenterastothesensiblepracticeofventilatingaship’squarter-deck。Iknowhepoppedintothemate’scabintoimpartthefacttohimbecausethewhiskerscameondeck,asitwerebychance,andstoleglancesatmefrombelow——

  forsignsoflunacyordrunkenness,Isuppose。

  Alittlebeforesupper,feelingmorerestlessthanever,Irejoined,foramoment,mysecondself。Andtofindhimsittingsoquietlywassurprising,likesomethingagainstnature,inhuman。

  Idevelopedmyplaninahurriedwhisper。

  \"IshallstandinascloseasIdareandthenputherround。

  Iwillpresentlyfindmeanstosmuggleyououtofhereintothesaillocker,whichcommunicateswiththelobby。

  Butthereisanopening,asortofsquareforhaulingthesailsout,whichgivesstraightonthequarter-deckandwhichisneverclosedinfineweather,soastogiveairtothesails。

  Whentheship’swayisdeadenedinstaysandallthehandsareaftatthemainbracesyouwillhaveaclearroadtoslipoutandgetoverboardthroughtheopenquarter-deckport。

  I’vehadthembothfastenedup。Usearope’sendtoloweryourselfintothewatersoastoavoidasplash——youknow。

  Itcouldbeheardandcausesomebeastlycomplication。\"

  Hekeptsilentforawhile,thenwhispered,\"Iunderstand。\"

  \"Iwon’tbetheretoseeyougo,\"Ibeganwithaneffort。

  \"Therest……IonlyhopeIhaveunderstood,too。\"

  \"Youhave。Fromfirsttolast\"——andforthefirsttimethereseemedtobeafaltering,somethingstrainedinhiswhisper。

  Hecaughtholdofmyarm,buttheringingofthesupperbellmademestart。Hedidn’tthough;heonlyreleasedhisgrip。

  AftersupperIdidn’tcomebelowagaintillwellpasteighto’clock。Thefaint,steadybreezewasloadedwithdew;andthewet,darkenedsailsheldalltherewasofpropellingpowerinit。

  Thenight,clearandstarry,sparkleddarkly,andtheopaque,lightlesspatchesshiftingslowlyagainstthelowstarswerethedriftingislets。Ontheportbowtherewasabigonemoredistantandshadowilyimposingbythegreatspaceofskyiteclipsed。

  OnopeningthedoorIhadabackviewofmyveryownselflookingatachart。

  Hehadcomeoutoftherecessandwasstandingnearthetable。

  \"Quitedarkenough,\"Iwhispered。

  Hesteppedbackandleanedagainstmybedwithalevel,quietglance。

  Isatonthecouch。Wehadnothingtosaytoeachother。

  Overourheadstheofficerofthewatchmovedhereandthere。

  ThenIheardhimmovequickly。Iknewwhatthatmeant。

  Hewasmakingforthecompanion;andpresentlyhisvoicewasoutsidemydoor。

  \"Wearedrawinginprettyfast,sir。Landlooksratherclose。\"

  \"Verywell,\"Ianswered。\"Iamcomingondeckdirectly。\"

  Iwaitedtillhewasgoneoutofthecuddy,thenrose。Mydoublemovedtoo。

  Thetimehadcometoexchangeourlastwhispers,forneitherofuswasevertoheareachother’snaturalvoice。

  \"Lookhere!\"Iopenedadrawerandtookoutthreesovereigns。

  \"Takethisanyhow。I’vegotsixandI’dgiveyouthelot,onlyImustkeepalittlemoneytobuysomefruitandvegetablesforthecrewfromnativeboatsaswegothroughSundaStraits。\"

  Heshookhishead。

  \"Takeit,\"Iurgedhim,whisperingdesperately。

  \"Noonecantellwhat——\"

  Hesmiledandslappedmeaninglytheonlypocketofthesleepingjacket。

  Itwasnotsafe,certainly。ButIproducedalargeoldsilkhandkerchiefofmine,andtyingthethreepiecesofgoldinacorner,presseditonhim。

  Hewastouched,Isupposed,becausehetookitatlastandtieditquicklyroundhiswaistunderthejacket,onhisbareskin。

  Oureyesmet;severalsecondselapsed,till,ourglancesstillmingled,Iextendedmyhandandturnedthelampout。

  ThenIpassedthroughthecuddy,leavingthedoorofmyroomwideopen……\"Steward!\"

  Hewasstilllingeringinthepantryinthegreatnessofhiszeal,givingarub-uptoaplatedcruetstandthelastthingbeforegoingtobed。

  Beingcarefulnottowakeupthemate,whoseroomwasopposite,Ispokeinanundertone。

  Helookedroundanxiously。\"Sir!\"

  \"Canyougetmealittlehotwaterfromthegalley?\"

  \"Iamafraid,sir,thegalleyfire’sbeenoutforsometimenow。\"

  \"Goandsee。\"

  Heflewupthestairs。

  \"Now,\"Iwhispered,loudly,intothesaloon——tooloudly,perhaps,butIwasafraidIcouldn’tmakeasound。

  Hewasbymysideinaninstant——thedoublecaptainslippedpastthestairs——throughatinydarkpassage……aslidingdoor。

  Wewereinthesaillocker,scramblingonourkneesoverthesails。

  Asuddenthoughtstruckme。Isawmyselfwanderingbarefooted,bareheaded,thesunbeatingonmydarkpoll。

  Isnatchedoffmyfloppyhatandtriedhurriedlyinthedarktoramitonmyotherself。Hedodgedandfendedoffsilently。

  Iwonderwhathethoughthadcometomebeforeheunderstoodandsuddenlydesisted。Ourhandsmetgropingly,lingeredunitedinasteady,motionlessclaspforasecond……Nowordwasbreathedbyeitherofuswhentheyseparated。

  Iwasstandingquietlybythepantrydoorwhenthestewardreturned。

  \"Sorry,sir。Kettlebarelywarm。ShallIlightthespiritlamp?\"

  \"Nevermind。\"

  Icameoutondeckslowly。Itwasnowamatterofconsciencetoshavethelandascloseaspossible——fornowhemustgooverboardwhenevertheshipwasputinstays。Must!Therecouldbenogoingbackforhim。AfteramomentIwalkedovertoleewardandmyheartflewintomymouthatthenearnessofthelandonthebow。

  UnderanyothercircumstancesIwouldnothaveheldonaminutelonger。

  Thesecondmatehadfollowedmeanxiously。

  IlookedontillIfeltIcouldcommandmyvoice。

  \"Shewillweather,\"Isaidtheninaquiettone。

  \"Areyougoingtotrythat,sir?\"hestammeredoutincredulously。

  Itooknonoticeofhimandraisedmytonejustenoughtobeheardbythehelmsman。

  \"Keephergoodfull。\"

  \"Goodfull,sir。\"

  Thewindfannedmycheek,thesailsslept,theworldwassilent。

  Thestrainofwatchingthedarkloomofthelandgrowbiggeranddenserwastoomuchforme。Ihadshutmyeyes——becausetheshipmustgocloser。

  Shemust!Thestillnesswasintolerable。Werewestandingstill?

  WhenIopenedmyeyesthesecondviewstartedmyheartwithathump。

  TheblacksouthernhillofKoh-ringseemedtohangrightovertheshiplikeatoweringfragmentofeverlastingnight。

  Onthatenormousmassofblacknesstherewasnotagleamtobeseen,notasoundtobeheard。Itwasglidingirresistiblytowardsusandyetseemedalreadywithinreachofthehand。

  Isawthevaguefiguresofthewatchgroupedinthewaist,gazinginawedsilence。

  \"Areyougoingon,sir?\"inquiredanunsteadyvoiceatmyelbow。

  Iignoredit。Ihadtogoon。

  \"Keepherfull。Don’tcheckherway。Thatwon’tdonow,\"

  Isaidwarningly。

  \"Ican’tseethesailsverywell,\"thehelmsmanansweredme,instrange,quaveringtones。

  Wasshecloseenough?Alreadyshewas,Iwon’tsayintheshadowoftheland,butintheveryblacknessofit,alreadyswallowedupasitwere,gonetooclosetoberecalled,gonefrommealtogether。

  \"Givethemateacall,\"Isaidtotheyoungmanwhostoodatmyelbowasstillasdeath。\"Andturnallhandsup。\"

  Mytonehadaborrowedloudnessreverberatedfromtheheightoftheland。

  Severalvoicescriedouttogether:\"Weareallondeck,sir。\"

  Thenstillnessagain,withthegreatshadowglidingcloser,toweringhigher,withoutalight,withoutasound。

  SuchahushhadfallenontheshipthatshemighthavebeenabarkofthedeadfloatinginslowlyundertheverygateofErebus。

  \"MyGod!Wherearewe?\"

  Itwasthematemoaningatmyelbow。Hewasthunderstruck,andasitweredeprivedofthemoralsupportofhiswhiskers。

  Heclappedhishandsandabsolutelycriedout,\"Lost!\"

  \"Bequiet,\"Isaid,sternly。

  Heloweredhistone,butIsawtheshadowygestureofhisdespair。

  \"Whatarewedoinghere?\"

  \"Lookingforthelandwind。\"

  Hemadeasiftotearhishair,andaddressedmerecklessly。

  \"Shewillnevergetout。Youhavedoneit,sir。Iknewit’dendinsomethinglikethis。Shewillneverweather,andyouaretooclosenowtostay。

  She’lldriftashorebeforeshe’sround。OmyGod!\"

  Icaughthisarmashewasraisingittobatterhispoordevotedhead,andshookitviolently。

  \"She’sashorealready,\"hewailed,tryingtotearhimselfaway。

  \"Isshe?……Keepgoodfullthere!\"

  \"Goodfull,sir,\"criedthehelmsmaninafrightened,thin,childlikevoice。

  Ihadn’tletgothemate’sarmandwentonshakingit。\"Readyabout,doyouhear?Yougoforward\"——shake——\"andstopthere\"——shake——\"andholdyournoise\"——shake——\"andseethesehead-sheetsproperlyoverhauled\"——

  shake,shake——shake。

  AndallthetimeIdarednotlooktowardsthelandlestmyheartshouldfailme。Ireleasedmygripatlastandheranforwardasiffleeingfordearlife。

  Iwonderedwhatmydoublethereinthesaillockerthoughtofthiscommotion。Hewasabletoheareverything——andperhapshewasabletounderstandwhy,onmyconscience,ithadtobethusclose——noless。

  Myfirstorder\"Hardalee!\"re-echoedominouslyunderthetoweringshadowofKoh-ringasifIhadshoutedinamountaingorge。

  AndthenIwatchedthelandintently。Inthatsmoothwaterandlightwinditwasimpossibletofeeltheshipcoming-to。No!

  Icouldnotfeelher。Andmysecondselfwasmakingnowreadytoshipoutandlowerhimselfoverboard。Perhapshewasgonealready……?

  Thegreatblackmassbroodingoverourverymastheadsbegantopivotawayfromtheship’ssidesilently。AndnowIforgotthesecretstrangerreadytodepart,andrememberedonlythatIwasatotalstrangertotheship。

  Ididnotknowher。Wouldshedoit?Howwasshetobehandled?

  Iswungthemainyardandwaitedhelplessly。Shewasperhapsstopped,andherveryfatehunginthebalance,withtheblackmassofKoh-ringlikethegateoftheeverlastingnighttoweringoverhertaffrail。Whatwouldshedonow?Hadshewayonheryet?

  Isteppedtothesideswiftly,andontheshadowywaterIcouldseenothingexceptafaintphosphorescentflashrevealingtheglassysmoothnessofthesleepingsurface。Itwasimpossibletotell——

  andIhadnotlearnedyetthefeelofmyship。Wasshemoving?

  WhatIneededwassomethingeasilyseen,apieceofpaper,whichIcouldthrowoverboardandwatch。Ihadnothingonme。

  TorundownforitIdidn’tdare。Therewasnotime。

  Allatoncemystrained,yearningstaredistinguishedawhiteobjectfloatingwithinayardoftheship’sside。

  Whiteontheblackwater。Aphosphorescentflashpassedunderit。

  Whatwasthatthing?……Irecognizedmyownfloppyhat。

  Itmusthavefallenoffhishead……andhedidn’tbother。

  NowIhadwhatIwanted——thesavingmarkformyeyes。

  ButIhardlythoughtofmyotherself,nowgonefromtheship,tobehiddenforeverfromallfriendlyfaces,tobeafugitiveandavagabondontheearth,withnobrandofthecurseonhissaneforeheadtostayaslayinghand……tooproudtoexplain。

  AndIwatchedthehat——theexpressionofmysuddenpityforhismereflesh。

  Ithadbeenmeanttosavehishomelessheadfromthedangersofthesun。

  Andnow——behold——itwassavingtheship,byservingmeforamarktohelpouttheignoranceofmystrangeness。Ha!Itwasdriftingforward,warningmejustintimethattheshiphadgatheredsternaway。

  \"Shiftthehelm,\"Isaidinalowvoicetotheseamanstandingstilllikeastatue。

  Theman’seyesglistenedwildlyinthebinnaclelightashejumpedroundtotheothersideandspunroundthewheel。

  Iwalkedtothebreakofthepoop。Ontheover-shadoweddeckallhandsstoodbytheforebraceswaitingformyorder。

  Thestarsaheadseemedtobeglidingfromrighttoleft。

  AndallwassostillintheworldthatIheardthequietremark,\"She’sround,\"passedinatoneofintensereliefbetweentwoseamen。

  \"Letgoandhaul。\"

  Theforeyardsranroundwithagreatnoise,amidstcheerycries。

  Andnowthefrightfulwhiskersmadethemselvesheardgivingvariousorders。

  Alreadytheshipwasdrawingahead。AndIwasalonewithher。

  Nothing!nooneintheworldshouldstandnowbetweenus,throwingashadowonthewayofsilentknowledgeandmuteaffection,theperfectcommunionofaseamanwithhisfirstcommand。

  Walkingtothetaffrail,Iwasintimetomakeout,ontheveryedgeofadarknessthrownbyatoweringblackmassliketheverygatewayofErebus——yes,Iwasintimetocatchanevanescentglimpseofmywhitehatleftbehindtomarkthespotwherethesecretsharerofmycabinandofmythoughts,asthoughheweremysecondself,hadloweredhimselfintothewatertotakehispunishment:

  afreeman,aproudswimmerstrikingoutforanewdestiny。

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