\"Oneoftheotherships?\"
\"Weshouldbetherenow,oratanyratetomorrow。\"
\"WellthenI’mgladitisn’toneoftheothers\"——andIsmiledattheyoungladyonmyarm。Mywordsofferedherachancetosaysomethingappreciative,andgavehimoneevenmore;butneitherJaspernorGraceMavistookadvantageoftheoccasion。Whattheydiddo,I
noticed,wastolookateachotherratherfixedlyaninstant;afterwhichsheturnedhereyessilentlytothesea。Shemadenomovementandutterednosound,contrivingtogivemethesensethatshehadallatoncebecomeperfectlypassive,thatshesomehowdeclinedresponsibility。WeremainedstandingtherewithJasperinfrontofus,andifthecontactofherarmdidn’tsuggestIshouldgiveherup,neitherdiditintimatethatwehadbetterpasson。Ihadnoideaofgivingherup,albeitoneofthethingsIseemedtoreadjustthenintoJasper’scountenancewasafineimplicationthatshewashisproperty。Hiseyesmetmineforamoment,anditwasexactlyasifhehadsaidtome\"Iknowwhatyouthink,butIdon’tcarearap。\"
WhatIreallythoughtwasthathewasselfishbeyondthelimits:
thatwasthesubstanceofmylittlerevelation。Youthisalmostalwaysselfish,justasitisalmostalwaysconceited,and,afterall,whenit’scombinedwithhealthandgoodparts,goodlooksandgoodspirits,ithasarighttobe,andIeasilyforgiveitifitbereallyyouth。Stillit’saquestionofdegree,andwhatstuckoutofJasperNettlepoint——if,ofcourse,onehadtheintelligenceforit——
wasthathisegotismhadahardness,hisloveofhisownwayanavidity。Theseelementswerejauntyandprosperous,theywereaccustomedtoprevail。Hewasfond,veryfond,ofwomen;theywerenecessarytohim——thatwasinhistype;buthewasn’tintheleastinlovewithGraceMavis。AmongthereflexionsIquicklymadethiswastheonethatwasmosttothepoint。Therewasadegreeofawkwardness,afteraminute,inthewaywewereplantedthere,thoughtheapprehensionofitwasdoubtlessnotintheleastwithhimself。
Todissimulatemyownshareinit,atanyrate,Iaskedhimhowhismothermightbe。
Hisanswerwasunexpected。\"Youhadbettergodownandsee。\"
\"NottillMissMavisistiredofme。\"
ShesaidnothingtothisandImadeherwalkagain。Forsomeminutesshefailedtospeak;then,ratherabruptly,shebegan:\"I’veseenyoutalkingtothatladywhositsatourtable——theonewhohassomanychildren。\"
\"Mrs。Peck?Ohyes,onehasinevitablytalkedwithMrs。Peck。\"
\"Doyouknowherverywell?\"
\"Onlyasoneknowspeopleatsea。Anacquaintancemakesitself。Itdoesn’tmeanverymuch。\"
\"Shedoesn’tspeaktome——shemightifshewanted。\"
\"That’sjustwhatshesaysofyou——thatyoumightspeaktoher。\"
\"Ohifshe’swaitingforthat!\"saidmycompanionwithalaugh。Thensheadded:\"Shelivesinourstreet,nearlyopposite。\"
\"Precisely。That’sthereasonwhyshethinksyoucoyorhaughty。
Shehasseenyousooftenandseemstoknowsomuchaboutyou。\"
\"Whatdoessheknowaboutme?\"
\"Ahyoumustaskher——Ican’ttellyou!\"
\"Idon’tcarewhatsheknows,\"saidmyyounglady。Afteramomentshewenton:\"ShemusthaveseenIain’tverysociable。\"Andthen,\"Whatareyoulaughingat?\"sheasked。
\"Well\"——myamusementwasdifficulttoexplain——\"you’renotverysociable,andyetsomehowyouare。Mrs。Peckis,atanyrate,andthoughtthatoughttomakeiteasyforyoutoenterintoconversationwithher。\"
\"OhIdon’tcareforherconversation——Iknowwhatitamountsto。\"I
madenoreply——Iscarcelyknewwhatreplytomake——andthegirlwenton:\"IknowwhatshethinksandIknowwhatshesays。\"StillIwassilent,butthenextmomentIsawmydiscretionhadbeenwasted,forMissMavisputtomestraight:\"DoesshemakeoutthatsheknowsMr。
Porterfield?\"
\"No,sheonlyclaimssheknowsaladywhoknowshim。\"
\"Yes,that’sit——Mrs。Jeremie。Mrs。Jeremie’sanidiot!\"Iwasn’tinapositiontocontrovertthis,andpresentlymyyoungladysaidshewouldsitdown。Ileftherinherchair——Isawthatshepreferredit——andwanderedtoadistance。AfewminuteslaterImetJasperagain,andhestoppedofhisownaccordtosay:\"Weshallbeinaboutsixintheeveningofoureleventhday——theypromiseit。\"
\"Ifnothinghappens,ofcourse。\"
\"Well,what’sgoingtohappen?\"
\"That’sjustwhatI’mwondering!\"AndIturnedawayandwentbelowwiththefoolishbutinnocentsatisfactionofthinkingIhadmystifiedhim。
CHAPTERIV
\"Idon’tknowwhattodo,andyoumusthelpme,\"Mrs。Nettlepointsaidtome,thatevening,assoonasIlookedin。
\"I’lldowhatIcan——butwhat’sthematter?\"
\"Shehasbeencryinghereandgoingon——shehasquiteupsetme。\"
\"Crying?Shedoesn’tlooklikethat。\"
\"Exactly,andthat’swhatstartledme。Shecameintoseemethisafternoon,asshehasdonebefore,andwetalkedoftheweatherandtherunoftheshipandthemannersofthestewardessandothersuchtrifles,andthensuddenly,inthemidstofit,asshesatthere,onnovisiblepretext,sheburstintotears。Iaskedherwhatailedherandtriedtocomforther,butshedidn’texplain;shesaiditwasnothing,theeffectofthesea,ofthemonotony,oftheexcitement,ofleavinghome。Iaskedherifithadanythingtodowithherprospects,withhermarriage;whethershefindsasthisdrawsnearthatherheartisn’tinit。Itoldhershemustn’tbenervous,thatIcouldenterintothat——inshortIsaidwhatIcould。AllsherepliedwasthatsheISnervous,verynervous,butthatitwasalreadyover;andthenshejumpedupandkissedmeandwentaway。
Doesshelookasifshehasbeencrying?\"Mrs。Nettlepointwoundup。
\"HowcanItell,whensheneverquitsthathorridveil?It’sasifshewereashamedtoshowherface。\"
\"She’skeepingitforLiverpool。ButIdon’tlikesuchincidents,\"
saidMrs。Nettlepoint。\"IthinkIoughttogoabove。\"
\"Andisthatwhereyouwantmetohelpyou?\"
\"Ohwithyourarmandthatsortofthing,yes。ButImayhavetolooktoyouforsomethingmore。Ifeelasifsomethingweregoingtohappen。\"
\"That’sexactlywhatIsaidtoJasperthismorning。\"
\"Andwhatdidhesay?\"
\"Heonlylookedinnocent——asifhethoughtImeantafogorastorm。\"
\"Heavenforbid——itisn’tthat!Ishallneverbegood-naturedagain,\"
Mrs。Nettlepointwenton;\"neverhaveagirlputonmethatway。Youalwayspayforit——therearealwaystiresomecomplications。WhatI’mafraidofisafterwegetthere。She’llthrowupherengagement;
therewillbedreadfulscenes;Ishallbemixedupwiththemandhavetolookafterherandkeepherwithme。Ishallhavetostaytherewithhertillshecanbesentback,oreventakeheruptoLondon。
Doyouseeallthat?\"
Ilistenedrespectfully;afterwhichIobserved:\"You’reafraidofyourson。\"
Shealsohadapause。\"Itdependsonhowyoumeanit。\"
\"Therearethingsyoumightsaytohim——andwithyourmanner;becauseyouhaveone,youknow,whenyouchoose。\"
\"Verylikely,butwhat’smymannertohis?Besides,IHAVEsaideverythingtohim。ThatisI’vesaidthegreatthing——thathe’smakingherimmenselytalkedabout。\"
\"Andofcourseinanswertothathehasaskedyouhowyouknow,andyou’vetoldhimyouhaveitfromme。\"
\"I’vehadtotellhim;andhesaysit’snoneofyourbusiness。\"
\"Iwishhe’dsaythat,\"Iremarked,\"tomyface。\"
\"He’lldosoperfectlyifyougivehimachance。That’swhereyoucanhelpme。Quarrelwithhim——he’srathergoodataquarrel;andthatwilldiverthimanddrawhimoff。\"
\"ThenI’mready,\"Ireturned,\"todiscussthematterwithhimfortherestofthevoyage。\"
\"Verywell;Icountonyou。Buthe’llaskyou,asheasksme,whatthedeuceyouwanthimtodo。\"
\"Togotobed!\"——andI’mafraidIlaughed。
\"Ohitisn’tajoke。\"
Ididn’twanttobeirritating,butImademypoint。\"That’sexactlywhatItoldyouatfirst。\"
\"Yes,butdon’texult;Ihatepeoplewhoexult。Jasperasksofme,\"
shewenton,\"whyheshouldmindherbeingtalkedaboutifshedoesn’tminditherself。\"
\"I’lltellhimwhy,\"Ireplied;andMrs。Nettlepointsaidsheshouldbeexceedinglyobligedtomeandrepeatedthatshewouldindeedtakethefield。
IlookedforJasperabovethatsameevening,butcircumstancesdidn’tfavourmyquest。Ifoundhim——thatisIgatheredhewasagainensconcedbehindthelifeboatwithMissMavis;buttherewasaneedlessviolenceinbreakingintotheircommunion,andIputoffourinterviewtillthenextday。ThenItookthefirstopportunity,atbreakfast,tomakesureofit。HewasinthesaloonwhenIwentinandwaspreparingtoleavethetable;butIstoppedhimandaskedifhewouldgivemeaquarterofanhourondeckalittlelater——therewassomethingparticularIwantedtosaytohim。Hesaid\"Ohyes,ifyoulike\"——withjustavisiblesurprise,butIthoughtwithplentyofassurance。WhenIhadfinishedmybreakfastIfoundhimsmokingontheforward-deckandIimmediatelybegan:\"I’mgoingtosaysomethingyouwon’tatalllike;toaskyouaquestionyou’llprobablydenounceforimpertinent。\"
\"IcertainlyshallifIfinditso,\"saidJasperNettlepoint。
\"Well,ofcoursemywarninghasmeantthatIdon’tcareifyoudo。
I’magooddealolderthanyouandI’mafriend——ofmanyyears——ofyourmother。There’snothingIlikelessthantobemeddlesome,butIthinkthesethingsgivemeacertainright——asortofprivilege。
Besideswhichmyinquirywillspeakforitself。\"
\"Whysomanydamnedpreliminaries?\"myyoungmanaskedthroughhissmoke。
Welookedintoeachother’seyesamoment。Whatindeedwashismother’smanner——herbestmanner——comparedwithhis?\"Areyoupreparedtoberesponsible?\"
\"Toyou?\"
\"Dearno——totheyoungladyherself。I’mspeakingofcourseofMissMavis。\"
\"Ahyes,mymothertellsmeyouhavehergreatlyonyourmind。\"
\"Sohasyourmotherherself——now。\"
\"She’ssogoodastosayso——toobligeyou。\"
\"She’dobligemeagreatdealmorebyreassuringme。IknowperfectlyofyourknowingI’vetoldherthatMissMavisisgreatlytalkedabout。\"
\"Yes,butwhatonearthdoesitmatter?\"
\"Itmattersasasign。\"
\"Asignofwhat?\"
\"Thatshe’sinafalseposition。\"
Jasperpuffedhiscigarwithhiseyesonthehorizon,andIhad,alittleunexpectedly,thesenseofproducingacertaineffectonhim。
\"Idon’tknowwhetherit’sYOURbusiness,whatyou’reattemptingtodiscussbutitreallystrikesmeit’snoneofmine。WhathaveItodowiththetattlewithwhichapackofoldwomenconsolethemselvesfornotbeingsea-sick?\"
\"DoyoucallittattlethatMissMavisisinlovewithyou?\"
\"Drivelling。\"
\"Then,\"Iretorted,\"you’reveryungrateful。Thetattleofapackofoldwomenhasthisimportance,thatshesuspects,orsheknows,itexists,andthatdecentgirlsareforthemostpartverysensitivetothatsortofthing。Tobepreparednottoheeditinthiscaseshemusthaveareason,andthereasonmustbetheoneI’vetakenthelibertytocallyourattentionto。\"
\"Inlovewithmeinsixdays,justlikethat?\"——andhestilllookedawaythroughnarrowedeyelids。
\"There’snoaccountingfortastes,andsixdaysatseaareequivalenttosixtyonland。Idon’twanttomakeyoutooproud。Ofcourseifyourecogniseyourresponsibilityit’sallrightandI’venothingtosay。\"
\"Idon’tseewhatyoumean,\"hepresentlyreturned。
\"Surelyyououghttohavethoughtofthatbythistime。She’sengagedtobemarried,andthegentlemanshe’sengagedtoistomeetheratLiverpool。Thewholeshipknowsit——though_I_didn’ttellthem!——andthewholeship’swatchingher。It’simpertinentifyoulike,justasIammyself,butwemakealittleworldheretogetherandwecan’tblinkitsconditions。WhatIaskyouiswhetheryou’repreparedtoallowhertogiveupthegentlemanI’vejustmentionedforyoursake。\"
Jasperspokeinamomentasifhedidn’tunderstand。\"Formysake?\"
\"Tomarryherifshebreakswithhim。\"
Heturnedhiseyesfromthehorizontomyown,andIfoundastrangeexpressioninthem。\"HasMissMaviscommissionedyoutogointothat?\"
\"Notintheleast。\"
\"Wellthen,Idon’tquitesee——!\"
\"Itisn’tasfromanotherImakeit。Letitcomefromyourself——TO
yourself。\"
\"Lord,youmustthinkIleadmyselfalife!\"hecriedasincompassionformysimplicity。\"That’saquestiontheyoungladymayputtomeanymomentitpleasesher。\"
\"Letmethenexpressthehopethatshewill。Butwhatwillyouanswer?\"
\"Mydearsir,itseemstomethatinspiteofallthetitlesyou’veenumeratedyou’venoreasontoexpectI’lltellyou。\"Heturnedaway,andIdedicatedinperfectsincerityadeepsoresightothethoughtofouryoungwoman。Atthis,undertheimpressionofit,hefacedmeagainand,lookingatmefromheadtofoot,demanded:\"Whatisityouwantmetodo?\"
\"Iputittoyourmotherthatyououghttogotobed。\"
\"Youhadbetterdothatyourself!\"hereplied。
Thistimehewalkedoff,andIreflectedratherdolefullythattheonlyclearresultofmyundertakingwouldprobablyhavebeentomakeitvividtohimthatshewasinlovewithhim。Mrs。Nettlepointcameupasshehadannounced,butthedaywashalfover:itwasnearlythreeo’clock。Shewasaccompaniedbyherson,whoestablishedherondeck,arrangedherchairandhershawls,sawshewasprotectedfromsunandwind,andforanhourwasveryproperlyattentive。
WhilethiswentonGraceMaviswasnotvisible,nordidshereappearduringthewholeafternoon。Ihadn’tobservedthatshehadasyetbeenabsentfromthedeckforsolongaperiod。Jasperlefthismother,butcamebackatintervalstoseehowshegoton,andwhensheaskedwhereMissMavismightbeansweredthathehadn’ttheleastidea。Isatwithmyfriendatherparticularrequest:shetoldmesheknewthatifIdidn’tMrs。PeckandMrs。Gotchwouldmaketheirapproach,sothatImustactasawatch-dog。Shewasflurriedandfatiguedwithhermigration,andIthinkthatGraceMavis’schoosingthisoccasionforretirementsuggestedtoheralittlethatshehadbeenmadeafoolof。Sheremarkedthatthegirl’snotbeingthereshowedherforthebarbariansheonlycouldbe,andthatsheherselfwasreallyverygoodsotohaveputherselfout;herchargewasamerebore:thatwastheendofit。Icouldseethatmycompanion’sadventquickenedthespeculativeactivityoftheotherladiestheywatchedherfromtheoppositesideofthedeck,keepingtheireyesfixedonherverymuchasthemanatthewheelkepthisonthecourseoftheship。Mrs。Peckplainlyhaddesigns,anditwasfromthisdangerthatMrs。Nettlepointavertedherface。
\"It’sjustaswesaid,\"sheremarkedtomeaswesatthere。\"It’slikethebucketsinthewell。WhenIcomeupeverythingelsegoesdown。\"
\"No,notatalleverythingelse——sinceJasperremainshere。\"
\"Remains?Idon’tseehim。\"
\"Hecomesandgoes——it’sthesamething。\"
\"Hegoesmorethanhecomes。Butn’enparlonsplus;Ihaven’tgainedanything。Idon’tadmiretheseaatall——whatisitbutamagnifiedwater-tank?Ishan’tcomeupagain。\"
\"I’veanideashe’llstayinhercabinnow,\"Isaid。\"Shetellsmeshehasonetoherself。\"Mrs。Nettlepointrepliedthatshemightdoassheliked,andIrepeatedtoherthelittleconversationIhadhadwithJasper。
Shelistenedwithinterest,but\"Marryher?Mercy!\"sheexclaimed。
\"Ilikethefinefreedomwithwhichyougivemysonaway。\"
\"Youwouldn’tacceptthat?\"
\"WhyintheworldshouldI?\"
\"ThenIdon’tunderstandyourposition。\"
\"Goodheavens,IHAVEnone!Itisn’tapositiontobetiredofthewholething。\"
\"Youwouldn’tacceptiteveninthecaseIputtohim——thatofherbelievingshehadbeenencouragedtothrowoverpoorPorterfield?\"
\"Noteven——noteven。Whocanknowwhatshebelieves?\"
Itbroughtmebacktowherewehadstartedfrom。\"ThenyoudoexactlywhatIsaidyouwould——youshowmeafineexampleofmaternalimmorality。\"
\"Maternalfiddlesticks!Itwasshewhobeganit。\"
\"Thenwhydidyoucomeuptoday?\"Iasked。
\"Tokeepyouquiet。\"
Mrs。Nettlepoint’sdinnerwasservedondeck,butIwentintothesaloon。Jasperwasthere,butnotGraceMavis,asIhadhalf-
expected。Isoughttolearnfromhimwhathadbecomeofher,ifshewereill——hemusthavethoughtIhadanodiouspertinacity——andherepliedthatheknewnothingwhateverabouther。Mrs。Pecktalkedtome——ortriedto——ofMrs。Nettlepoint,expatiatingonthegreatinterestithadbeentoseeher;onlyitwasapityshedidn’tseemmoresociable。TothisImadeanswerthatshewastobeexcusedonthescoreofhealth。
\"Youdon’tmeantosayshe’ssickonthispond?\"
\"No,she’sunwellinanotherway。\"
\"IguessIknowtheway!\"Mrs。Pecklaughed。Andthensheadded:\"I
supposeshecameuptolookafterherpet。\"
\"Herpet?\"Isetmyface。
\"WhyMissMavis。We’vetalkedenoughaboutthat。\"
\"Quiteenough。Idon’tknowwhatthathashadtodowithit。MissMavis,sofarasI’venoticed,hasn’tbeenabovetoday。\"
\"Ohitgoesonallthesame。\"
\"Itgoeson?\"
\"Well,it’stoolate。\"
\"Toolate?\"
\"Well,you’llsee。There’llbearow。\"
Thiswasn’tcomforting,butIdidn’trepeatitondeck。Mrs。
Nettlepointreturnedearlytohercabin,professingherselfinfinitelyspent。Ididn’tknowwhat\"wenton,\"butGraceMaviscontinuednottoshow。Ilookedinlate,foragood-nighttomyfriend,andlearnedfromherthatthegirlhadn’tbeentoher。Shehadsentthestewardesstoherroomfornews,toseeifshewereillandneededassistance,andthestewardesshadcomebackwithmerementionofhernotbeingthere。Iwentaboveafterthis;thenightwasnotquitesofairandthedeckalmostempty。InamomentJasperNettlepointandouryoungladymovedpastmetogether。\"Ihopeyou’rebetter!\"Icalledafterher;andshetossedmeoverhershoulder——\"Ohyes,Ihadaheadache;buttheairnowdoesmegood!\"
Iwentdownagain——Iwastheonlypersontherebutthey,andIwantednottoseemtodogtheirsteps——and,returningtoMrs。Nettlepoint’sroom,found(herdoorwasopentothelittlepassage)thatshewasstillsittingup。
\"She’sallright!\"Isaid。\"She’sonthedeckwithJasper。\"
Thegoodladylookedupatmefromherbook。\"Ididn’tknowyoucalledthatallright。\"
\"Well,it’sbetterthansomethingelse。\"
\"Thanwhatelse?\"
\"SomethingIwasalittleafraidof。\"Mrs。Nettlepointcontinuedtolookatme;sheaskedagainwhatthatmightbe。\"I’lltellyouwhenwe’reashore,\"Isaid。
ThenextdayIwaitedonherattheusualhourofmymorningvisit,andfoundhernotalittledistraught。\"Thesceneshavebegun,\"shesaid;\"youknowItoldyouIshouldn’tgetthroughwithoutthem!Youmademenervouslastnight——Ihaven’ttheleastideawhatyoumeant;
butyoumademehorriblynervous。Shecameintoseemeanhourago,andIhadthecouragetosaytoher:’Idon’tknowwhyIshouldn’ttellyoufranklythatI’vebeenscoldingmysonaboutyou。’OfcoursesheaskedwhatImeantbythat,andIletherknow。’Itseemstomehedragsyouabouttheshiptoomuchforagirlinyourposition。Hehastheairofnotrememberingthatyoubelongtosomeoneelse。There’sawantoftasteandevenawantofrespectinit。’
Thatbroughtonanoutbreak:shebecameveryviolent。\"
\"Doyoumeanindignant?\"
\"Yes,indignant,andaboveallflusteredandexcited——atmypresumingtosupposeherrelationswithmysonnottheverysimplestintheworld。ImightscoldhimasmuchasIliked——thatwasbetweenourselves;butshedidn’tseewhyIshouldmentionsuchmatterstoherself。DidIthinksheallowedhimtotreatherwithdisrespect?
Thatideawasn’tmuchofacomplimenttoeitherofthem!Hehadtreatedherbetterandbeenkindertoherthanmostotherpeople——
therewereveryfewontheshipwhohadn’tbeeninsulting。Sheshouldbegladenoughwhenshegotoffit,toherownpeople,tosomeonewhomnobodywouldhavearighttospeakof。Whatwasthereinherpositionthatwasn’tperfectlynatural?whatwastheideaofmakingafussaboutherposition?DidImeanthatshetookittooeasily——thatshedidn’tthinkasmuchassheoughtaboutMr。
Porterfield?Didn’tIbelieveshewasattachedtohim——didn’tI
believeshewasjustcountingthehourstillshesawhim?Thatwouldbethehappiestmomentofherlife。ItshowedhowlittleIknewherifIthoughtanythingelse。\"
\"Allthatmusthavebeenratherfine——Ishouldhavelikedtohearit,\"Isaidafterquitehangingonmyfriend’slips。\"Andwhatdidyoureply?\"
\"OhIgrovelled;IassuredherthatIaccusedher——asregardsmyson——
ofnothingworsethananexcessofgoodnature。Shehelpedhimtopasshistime——heoughttobeimmenselyobliged。AlsothatitwouldbeaveryhappymomentformetoowhenIshouldhandherovertoMr。
Porterfield。\"
\"Andwillyoucomeuptoday?\"
\"Noindeed——Ithinkshe’lldobeautifullynow。\"
Iheavedthistimeasighofrelief。\"All’swellthatendswell!\"
Jasperspentthatdayagreatdealoftimewithhismother。Shehadtoldmehowmuchshehadlackedhithertoproperopportunitytotalkoverwithhimtheirmovementsafterdisembarking。Everythingchangesalittlethelasttwoorthreedaysofavoyage;thespellisbrokenandnewcombinationstakeplace。GraceMaviswasneitherondecknoratdinner,andIdrewMrs。Peck’sattentiontotheextremeproprietywithwhichshenowconductedherself。Shehadspentthedayinmeditationandjudgeditbesttocontinuetomeditate。
\"Ahshe’safraid,\"saidmyimplacableneighbour。
\"Afraidofwhat?\"
\"Well,thatwe’lltelltaleswhenwegetthere。\"
\"Whomdoyoumeanby’we’?\"
\"Well,thereareplenty——onashiplikethis。\"
\"ThenIthink,\"Ireturned,\"wewon’t。\"
\"Maybewewon’thavethechance,\"saidthedreadfullittlewoman。
\"Ohatthatmoment\"——Ispokefromafullexperience——\"universalgenialityreigns。\"
Mrs。Peckhoweverknewlittleofanysuchlaw。\"Iguessshe’safraidallthesame。\"
\"Somuchthebetter!\"
\"Yes——somuchthebetter!\"
Allthenextdaytoothegirlremainedinvisible,andMrs。
Nettlepointtoldmeshehadn’tlookedin。SheherselfhadaccordinglyinquiredbythestewardessifshemightbereceivedinMissMavis’sownquarters,andtheyoungladyhadrepliedthattheywerelitteredupwiththingsandunfitforvisitors:shewaspackingatrunkover。Jaspermadeupforhisdevotiontohismotherthedaybeforebynowspendingagreatdealofhistimeinthesmoking-room。
Iwantedtosaytohim\"Thisismuchbetter,\"butIthoughtitwisertoholdmytongue。IndeedIhadbeguntofeeltheemotionofprospectivearrival——thesenseofthereturntoEuropealwayskeptitsintensity——andhadtherebythelessattentionforothermatters。
Itwilldoubtlessappeartothecriticalreaderthatmyexpenditureofinteresthadbeenoutofproportiontothevulgarappearancesofwhichmystorygivesanaccount,buttothisIcanonlyreplythattheeventwastojustifyme。Wesightedland,thedimyetrichcoastofIreland,aboutsunset,andIleanedonthebulwarkandtookitin。
\"Itdoesn’tlooklikemuch,doesit?\"Iheardavoicesay,besideme;
whereupon,turning,IfoundGraceMavisathand。Almostforthefirsttimeshehadherveilup,andIthoughtherverypale。
\"Itwillbemoretomorrow,\"Isaid。
\"Ohyes,agreatdealmore。\"
\"Thefirstsightofland,atsea,changeseverything,\"Iwenton。
\"Italwaysaffectsmeaswakingupfromadream。It’sareturntoreality。\"
Foramomentshemademenoresponse;thenshesaid\"Itdoesn’tlookveryrealyet。\"
\"No,andmeanwhile,thislovelyevening,onecanputitthatthedream’sstillpresent。\"
Shelookedupatthesky,whichhadabrightness,thoughthelightofthesunhadleftitandthatofthestarshadn’tbegun。\"ItISalovelyevening。\"
\"Ohyes,withthisweshalldo。\"
Shestoodsomemomentsmore,whilethegrowingduskeffacedthelineofthelandmorerapidlythanourprogressmadeitdistinct。Shesaidnothingmore,sheonlylookedinfrontofher;butherveryquietnesspromptedmetosomethingsuggestiveofsympathyandservice。Itwasdifficultindeedtostriketherightnote——somethingsseemedtoowideofthemarkandotherstooimportunate。Atlast,unexpectedly,sheappearedtogivememychance。Irrelevantly,abruptlyshebrokeout:\"Didn’tyoutellmeyouknewMr。
Porterfield?\"
\"Dearme,yes——Iusedtoseehim。I’veoftenwantedtospeaktoyouofhim。\"
SheturnedherfaceonmeandinthedeepenedeveningIimaginedhermorepale。\"Whatgoodwouldthatdo?\"
\"Whyitwouldbeapleasure,\"Irepliedratherfoolishly。
\"Doyoumeanforyou?\"
\"Well,yes——callitthat,\"Ismiled。
\"Didyouknowhimsowell?\"
MysmilebecamealaughandIlostalittlemyconfidence。\"You’renoteasytomakespeechesto。\"
\"Ihatespeeches!\"Thewordscamefromherlipswithaforcethatsurprisedme;theywereloudandhard。ButbeforeIhadtimetowondershewentonalittledifferently。\"Shallyouknowhimwhenyouseehim?\"
\"Perfectly,Ithink。\"HermannerwassostrangethatIhadtonoticeitinsomeway,andIjudgedthebestwaywasjocularly;soIadded:
\"Shan’tyou?\"
\"Ohperhapsyou’llpointhimout!\"Andshewalkedquicklyaway。AsIlookedafterhertherecametomeaperverse,ratheraprovokingconsciousnessofhavingduringthepreviousdays,andespeciallyinspeakingtoJasperNettlepoint,interferedwithhersituationinsomedegreetoherloss。Therewasanoddpangformeinseeinghermoveaboutalone;IfeltsomehowresponsibleforitandaskedmyselfwhyI
couldn’thavekeptmyhandsoff。IhadseenJasperinthesmoking-
roommorethanoncethatday,asIpassedit,andhalfanhourbeforethishadobserved,throughtheopendoor,thathewasthere。Hehadbeenwithhersomuchthatwithouthimshenowstruckoneasbereavedandforsaken。Thiswasreallybetter,nodoubt,butsuperficiallyitmoved——andIadmitwiththelastinconsequence——one’spity。Mrs。
Peckwoulddoubtlesshaveassuredmethattheirseparationwasgammon:theydidn’tshowtogetherondeckandinthesaloon,buttheymadeitupelsewhere。Thesecretplacesonshipboardarenotnumerous;Mrs。Peck’s\"elsewhere\"wouldhavebeenvague,andIknownotwhatlicenceherimaginationtook。ItwasdistinctthatJasperhadfallenoff,butofcoursewhathadpassedbetweenthemonthisscorewasn’tsoandcouldneverbe。Lateron,throughhismother,I
hadHISversionofthat,butImayremarkthatIgaveitnocredit。
PoorMrs。Nettlepoint,ontheotherhand,wasofcoursetogiveitall。Iwasalmostcapable,afterthegirlhadleftme,ofgoingtomyyoungmanandsaying:\"Afterall,doreturntoheralittle,justtillwegetin!Itwon’tmakeanydifferenceafterweland。\"AndI
don’tthinkitwasthefearhewouldtellmeIwasanidiotthatpreventedme。AtanyratethenexttimeIpassedthedoorofthesmoking-roomIsawhehadleftit。IpaidmyusualvisittoMrs。
Nettlepointthatnight,butItroubledhernofurtheraboutMissMavis。Shehadmadeuphermindthateverythingwassmoothandsettlednow,anditseemedtomeIhadworriedher,andthatshehadworriedherself,insufficiency。Ilefthertoenjoythedeepeningforetasteofarrival,whichhadtakenpossessionofhermind。BeforeturninginIwentaboveandfoundmorepassengersondeckthanIhadeverseensolate。Jaspermovedaboutamongthemalone,butI
forboretojoinhim。ThecoastofIrelandhaddisappeared,butthenightandtheseawereperfect。Onthewaytomycabin,whenIcamedown,Imetthestewardessinoneofthepassages,andtheideaenteredmyheadtosaytoher:\"DoyouhappentoknowwhereMissMavisis?\"
\"Whyshe’sinherroom,sir,atthishour。\"
\"DoyousupposeIcouldspeaktoher?\"IthadcomeintomymindtoaskherwhyshehadwantedtoknowofmeifIshouldrecogniseMr。
Porterfield。
\"Nosir,\"saidthestewardess;\"shehasgonetobed。\"
\"That’sallright。\"AndIfollowedtheyounglady’sexcellentexample。
Thenextmorning,whileIdressed,thestewardofmysideoftheshipcametomeasusualtoseewhatIwanted。Butthefirstthinghesaidto,mewas:\"Ratherabadjob,sir——apassengermissing。\"AndwhileItookIscarceknowwhatinstantchillfromit,\"Alady,sir,\"
hewenton——\"whomIthinkyouknew。PoorMissMavis,sir。\"
\"MISSING?\"Icried——staringathimandhorror-stricken。
\"She’snotontheship。Theycan’tfindher。\"
\"ThenwheretoGodisshe?\"
Irecallhisqueerface。\"Wellsir,IsupposeyouknowthataswellasI。\"
\"Doyoumeanshehasjumpedoverboard?\"
\"Sometimeinthenight,sir——onthequiet。Butit’sbeyondeveryone,thewaysheescapednotice。Theyusuallysees’em,sir。Itmusthavebeenabouthalf-pasttwo。Lord,butshewassharp,sir。
Shedidn’tsomuchasmakeasplash。Theysayshe’ADcomeagainstherwill,sir。\"
Ihaddroppeduponmysofa——Ifeltfaint。Themanwenton,likingtotalkaspersonsofhisclassdowhentheyhavesomethinghorribletotell。Sheusuallyrangforthestewardessearly,butthismorningofcoursetherehadbeennoring。Thestewardesshadgoneinallthesameabouteighto’clockandfoundthecabinempty。Thatwasaboutanhourprevious。Herthingswerethereinconfusion——thethingssheusuallyworewhenshewentabove。Thestewardessthoughtshehadbeenabitoddthenightbefore,buthadwaitedalittleandthengoneback。MissMavishadn’tturnedup——andshedidn’tturnup。Thestewardessbegantolookforher——shehadn’tbeenseenondeckorinthesaloon。Besides,shewasn’tdressed——nottoshowherself;allherclotheswereinherroom。Therewasanotherlady,anoldlady,Mrs。Nettlepoint——Iwouldknowher——thatshewassometimeswith,butthestewardesshadbeenwithHERandknewMissMavishadn’tcomenearherthatmorning。ShehadspokentoHIMandtheyhadtakenaquietlook——theyhadhuntedeverywhere。Aship’sabigplace,butyoudidcometotheendofit,andifapersonwasn’ttherewhythereitwas。
Inshortanhourhadpassedandtheyoungladywasnotaccountedfor:
fromwhichImightjudgeifsheeverwouldbe。Thewatchcouldn’taccountforher,butnodoubtthefishesintheseacould——poormiserablepitifullady!ThestewardessandhehadofcoursethoughtittheirdutytospeakatoncetotheDoctor,andtheDoctorhadspokenimmediatelytotheCaptain。TheCaptaindidn’tlikeit——theyneverdid,buthe’dtrytokeepitquiet——theyalwaysdid。
BythetimeIsucceededinpullingmyselftogetherandgettingon,afterafashion,therestofmyclothesIhadlearnedthatMrs。
Nettlepointwouldn’tyethavebeentold,unlessthestewardesshadbrokenittoherwithinthepreviousfewminutes。Hersonknew,theyounggentlemanontheothersideoftheship——hehadtheothersteward;mymanhadseenhimcomeoutofhiscabinandrushabove,justbeforehecameintome。HeHADgoneabove,mymanwassure;hehadn’tgonetotheoldlady’scabin。Icatchagainthesenseofmydreadfullyseeingsomethingatthatmoment,catchthewildflash,underthesteward’swords,ofJasperNettlepointleaping,withamadcompunctioninhisyoungagility,overthesideoftheship。I
hastentoadd,however,thatnosuchincidentwasdestinedtocontributeitshorrortopoorGraceMavis’sunwitnessedandunlightedtragicact。Whatfollowedwasmiserableenough,butIcanonlyglanceatit。WhenIgottoMrs。Nettlepoint’sdoorshewastherewithashawlabouther;thestewardesshadjusttoldherandshewasdashingouttocometome。Imadehergoback——IsaidIwouldgoforJasper。IwentforhimbutImissedhim,partlynodoubtbecauseitwasreallyatfirsttheCaptainIwasafter。Ifoundthispersonageandfoundhimhighlyscandalised,buthegavemenohopethatwewereinerror,andhisdispleasure,expressedwithseamanlikestrength,wasadefinitesettlementofthequestion。Fromthedeck,whereI
merelyturnedroundandlooked,Isawthelightofanothersummerday,thecoastofIrelandgreenandnearandtheseaofamorecharmingcolourthanithadshownatall。WhenIcamebelowagainJasperhadpassedback;hehadgonetohiscabinandhismotherhadjoinedhimthere。HeremainedtheretillwereachedLiverpool——I
neversawhim。Hismother,afteralittle,athisrequest,lefthimalone。Alltheworldwentabovetolookatthelandandchatteraboutourtragedy,butthepoorladyspenttheday,dismallyenough,inherroom。Itseemedtome,thedreadfulday,intolerablylong;I
wasthinkingsoofvague,ofinconceivableyetinevitablePorterfield,andofmyhavingtofacehimsomehowonthemorrow。NowofcourseIknewwhyshehadaskedmeifIshouldrecognisehim;shehaddelegatedtomementallyacertainpleasantoffice。IgaveMrs。
PeckandMrs。Gotchawideberth——Icouldn’ttalktothem。Icould,oratleastIdidalittle,toMrs。Nettlepoint,butwithtoomanyreservesforcomfortoneitherside,sinceIquitefelthowlittleitwouldnowmakeforeasetomentionJaspertoher。Iwasobligedtoassumebymysilencethathehadhadnothingtodowithwhathadhappened;andofcourseIneverreallyascertainedwhatheHADhadtodo。Thesecretofwhatpassedbetweenhimandthestrangegirlwhowouldhavesacrificedhermarriagetohimonsoshortanacquaintanceremainsshutupinhisbreast。Hismother,Iknow,wenttohisdoorfromtimetotime,butherefusedheradmission。Thatevening,tobehumanataventure,Irequestedthestewardtogoinandaskhimifheshouldcaretoseeme,andthegoodmanreturnedwithananswerwhichhecandidlytransmitted。\"Notintheleast!\"——JasperapparentlywasalmostasscandalisedastheCaptain。
AtLiverpool,atthedock,whenwehadtouched,twentypeoplecameonboardandIhadalreadymadeoutMr。Porterfieldatadistance。Hewaslookingupatthesideofthegreatvesselwithdisappointmentwritten——formystrainedeyes——inhisface;disappointmentatnotseeingthewomanhehadsolongawaitedleanoveritandwaveherhandkerchieftohim。Everyonewaslookingathim,everyonebutshe——hisidentityflewaboutinamoment——andIwonderedifitdidn’tstrikehim。Heusedtobegauntandangular,buthadgrownalmostfatandstoopedalittle。Theintervalbetweenusdiminished——hewasontheplankandthenonthedeckwiththejostlingagentsoftheCustoms;toosoonformyequanimity。Imethiminstantly,however,tosavehimfromexposure——laidmyhandonhimanddrewhimaway,thoughIwassurehehadnoimpressionofhavingseenmebefore。ItwasnottillafterwardsthatIthoughtthisrathercharacteristicallydullofhim。Idrewhimfaraway——IwasconsciousofMrs。PeckandMrs。Gotch,lookingatusaswepassed——intotheemptystalesmoking-
room:heremainedspeechless,andthatstruckmeaslikehim。Ihadtospeakfirst,hecouldn’tevenrelievemebysaying\"Isanythingthematter?\"Ibrokegroundbyputtingit,feebly,thatshewasill。
Itwasadiremoment。