第4章
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  \"Nowdon’tlet’sgetfeverish,\"Fattysaid,droppinghisownweapon。\"Wearen’tscum。We’regentlemen。Let’sdrinklikegentlemen。\"

  \"Letitbearealdrinking,\"Whiskersapproved。

  \"Let’sgetpetrified,\"Slimagreed。\"Manyadistillery’sflowedunderthebridgesinceweweregentlemen;butlet’sforgetthelongroadwe’vetravelledsince,andhitourdossinthegoodoldfashioninwhicheverygentlemanwenttobedwhenwewereyoung。\"

  \"Myfatherdoneit-didit,\"Fattyconcurredandcorrected,asoldrecollectionsexplodedlong-sealedbrain-cellsofconnotationandcorrectusage。

  Theothertwonoddedadescentfromsimilarfathers,andelevatedtheirtincansofalcohol。

  Bythetimeeachhadfinishedhisownbottleandfromhisragsfishedforthasecondone,theirbrainswerewell-mellowedanda-

  glow,althoughtheyhadnotgotaroundtotellingtheirrealnames。

  ButtheirEnglishhadimproved。Theyspokeitcorrectly,whiletheargooftramp-landceasedfromtheirlips。

  \"It’smyconstitution,\"Whiskerswasexplaining。\"VeryfewmencouldgothroughwhatIhaveandlivetotellthetale。AndI

  nevertookanycareofmyself。Ifwhatthemoralistsandthephysiologistssayweretrue,I’dhavebeendeadlongago。Andit’sthesamewithyoutwo。Lookatus,atouradvancedyears,carousingastheyoungonesdon’tdare,sleepingoutintheopenontheground,nevershelteredfromfrostnorrainnorstorm,neverafraidofpneumoniaorrheumatismthatwouldputhalftheyoungonesontheirbacksinhospital。\"

  Hebrokeofftomixanotherdrink,andFattytookupthetale。

  \"Andwe’vehadourfun,\"heboasted,\"andspeakingofsweetheartsandall,\"hecribbedfromKipling,\"’We’veroguedandwe’veranged-’\"

  \"’Inourtime,’\"Slimcompletedthecribforhim。

  \"Ishouldsayso,Ishouldsayso,\"Fattyconfirmed。\"Andbeenlovedbyprincesses-atleastIhave。\"

  \"Goonandtellusaboutit,\"Whiskersurged。\"Thenight’syoung,andwhyshouldn’twerememberbacktotheroofsofkings?\"

  Nothingloth,Fattyclearedhisthroatfortherecitalandcastaboutinhismindforthebestwaytobegin。

  \"ItmustbeknownthatIcameofgoodfamily。PercivalDelaney,letussay,yes,letussayPercivalDelaney,wasnotunknownatOxfordonceuponatime-notforscholarship,Iamfranktoadmit;

  butthegayyoungdogsofthatday,ifanybeyetalive,wouldrememberhim-\"

  \"MypeoplecameoverwiththeConqueror,\"Whiskersinterrupted,extendinghishandtoFatty’sinacknowledgmentoftheintroduction。

  \"Whatname?\"Fattyqueried。\"Ididnotseemquitetocatchit。\"

  \"Delarouse,ChaunceyDelarouse。Thenamewillserveaswellasany。\"

  BothcompletedthehandshakeandglancedtoSlim。

  \"Oh,well,whilewe’reaboutit……\"Fattyurged。

  \"BruceCadoganCavendish,\"Slimgrowledmorosely。\"Goon,Percival,withyourprincessesandtheroofsofkings。\"

  \"Oh,Iwasarareyoungdevil,\"Percivalobliged,\"afterIplayedducksanddrakesathomeandsportedoutovertheworld。AndIwassomefigureofamanbeforeIlostmyshape-polo,steeple-

  chasing,boxing。IwonmedalsatbuckjumpinginAustralia,andI

  heldmorethanseveralswimmingrecordsfromthequarterofamileup。WomenturnedtheirheadstolookwhenIwentby。Thewomen!

  Godblessthem!\"

  AndFatty,aliasPercivalDelaney,agrotesqueofmanhood,puthisbulgyhandtohispuffedlipsandkissedaudiblyintothestarryvaultofthesky。

  \"AndthePrincess!\"heresumed,withanotherkisstothestars。

  \"ShewasasfineafigureofawomanasIwasaman,ashigh-

  spiritedandcourageous,asrecklessanddare-devilish。Lord,Lord,inthewatershewasamermaid,asea-goddess。Andwhenitcametoblood,besideherIwasparvenu。Herroyallinetracedbackintothemistsofantiquity。

  \"Shewasnotadaughterofafair-skinnedfolk。Tawnygoldenwasshe,withgolden-browneyes,andherhairthatfelltoherkneeswasblue-blackandstraight,withjustthecurlytendrillytendencythatgivestowoman’shairitscharm。Oh,therewerenokinksinit,anymorethanweretherekinksinthehairofherentiregenealogy。ForshewasPolynesian,glowing,golden,lovelyandlovable,royalPolynesian。\"

  Againhepausedtokisshishandtothememoryofher,andSlim,aliasBruceCadoganCavendish,tookadvantagetointerject:

  \"Huh!Maybeyoudidn’tshineinscholarship,butatleastyougleanedavocabularyoutofOxford。\"

  \"AndintheSouthSeasgarneredabettervocabularyfromthelexiconofLove,\"Percivalwasquickontheuptake。

  \"ItwastheislandofTalofa,\"hewenton,\"meaninglove,theIsleofLove,anditwasherisland。Herfather,theking,anoldman,satonhismatswithparalysedkneesanddranksquarefaceginalldayandmostofthenight,outofgrief,sheergrief。She,myprincess,wastheonlyissue,herbrotherhavingbeenlostintheirdoublecanoeinahurricanewhilecomingupfromavoyagetoSamoa。

  AndamongthePolynesianstheroyalwomenhaveequalrightwiththementorule。Infact,theytracetheirgenealogiesalwaysbythefemaleline。\"

  TothisbothChaunceyDelarouseandBruceCadoganCavendishnoddedpromptaffirmation。

  \"Ah,\"saidPercival,\"IperceiveyoubothknowtheSouthSeas,wherefore,withoutundueexpenditureofverbiageonmypart,Iamassuredthatyouwillappreciatethecharmofmyprincess,thePrincessTui-nuiofTalofa,thePrincessoftheIsleofLove。\"

  Hekissedhishandtoher,sippedfromhiscondensedmilkcanaman-sizedrinkofdruggist’salcohol,andtoheragainkissedherhand。

  \"Butshewascoy,andeversheflutteredneartomebutnevernearenough。Whenmyarmwentouttohertogirdleher,presto,shewasnotthere。Iknew,asneverbefore,norsince,thethousanddearanddelightfulanguishesoflovefrustratedbuteverresilientandbeckonedonbytheverygoddessoflove。\"

  \"Somevocabulary,\"BruceCadoganCavendishmutteredinasidetoChaunceyDelarouse。ButPercivalDelaneywasnottobedeterred。

  Hekissedhispudgyhandaloftintothenightandheldwarmlyon。

  \"NofondagoniesofrapturedeferredthatwerenotlavisheduponmebymydearPrincess,herselfeveraluringdelightofpromiseflittingjustbeyondmyreach。Everysweetlover’sinfernounguessedofbyDantesheledmethrough。Ah!Thoseswooningtropicnights,underourpalmtrees,thedistantsurfalangourousmurmurasfromsomevastseashellofmystery,whenshe,myPrincess,allbutmeltedtomyyearning,andwithherlaughter,thatwasassilverstringsbybudsandblossomssmitten,allbutmadelunacyofmylover’sardency。

  \"ItwasbymywrestlingwiththechampionsofTalofathatIfirstinterestedher。ItwasbymyprowessatswimmingthatIawokeher。

  AnditwasbyacertainswimmingdeedthatIwonfromhermorethancoquettishsmilesandshytimiditiesoffeignedretreat。

  \"Weweresquiddingthatday,outonthereef-youknowhow,undoubtedly,divingdownthefaceofthewallofthereef,fivefathoms,tenfathoms,anydepthwithinreason,andshovingoursquid-sticksintothelikelyholesandcranniesofthecoralwheresquidmightbelairing。Withthesquid-stick,bluntlysharpatbothends,perhapsafootlong,andheldcrosswiseinthehand,thetrickwastogougeanylazyingsquiduntilheclosedhistentaclesaroundfist,stickandarm-Thenyouhadhim,andcametothesurfacewithhim,andhithimintheheadwhichisinthecentreofhim,andpeeledhimoffintothewaitingcanoe……AndtothinkIusedtodothat!\"

  PercivalDelaneypausedamoment,aglimmerofaweonhisrotundface,ashecontemplatedthemightypictureofhisyouth。

  \"Why,I’vepulledoutasquidwithtentacleseightfeetlong,anddoneitunderfiftyfeetofwater。Icouldstaydownfourminutes。

  I’vegonedown,withacoral-rocktosinkme,inahundredandtenfeettoclearafouledanchor。AndIcouldback-divewithaonce-

  overandgoinfeet-firstfromeightyfeetabovethesurface-\"

  \"Quitit,deleteit,ceaseit,\"ChaunceyDelarouseadmonishedtestily。\"TellofthePrincess。That’swhatmakesoldbloodleapagain。AlmostcanIseeher。Wasshewonderful?\"

  PercivalDelaneykissedunutterableaffirmation。

  \"Ihavesaidshewasamermaid。Shewas。Iknowsheswamthirty-

  sixhoursbeforebeingrescued,afterherschoonerwascapsizedinadouble-squall。Ihaveseenherdoninetyfeetandbringuppearlshellineachhand。Shewaswonderful。Asawomanshewasravishing,sublime。Ihavesaidshewasasea-goddess。Shewas。

  Oh,foraPhidiasoraPraxitelestohavemadethewonderofherbodyimmortal!

  \"Andthatday,outforsquidonthereef,Iwasalmostsickforher。Mad-IknowIwasmadforher。Wewouldstepoverthesidefromthebigcanoe,andswimdown,sidebyside,intothedeliciousdepthsofcoolandcolour,andshewouldlookatme,asweswam,andwithhereyestantalizemetofurthermadness。Andatlast,down,fardown,Ilostmyselfandreachedforher。Sheeludedmelikethemermaidshewas,andIsawthelaughteronherfaceasshefled。Shefleddeeper,andIknewIhadherforIwasbetweenherandthesurface;butinthemuckcoralsandofthebottomshemadeachurningwithhersquidstick。Itwastheoldtricktoescapeashark。Andsheworkeditonme,rollingthewatersothatIcouldnotseeher。AndwhenIcameup,shewasthereaheadofme,clingingtothesideofthecanoeandlaughing。

  \"AlmostIwouldnotbedenied。Butnotfornothingwassheaprincess。Sherestedherhandonmyarmandcompelledmetolisten。Weshouldplayagame,shesaid,enterintoacompetitionforwhichshouldgetthemoresquid,thebiggestsquid,andthesmallestsquid。Sincethewagerswerekisses,youcanwellimagineIwentdownonthefirstnextdivewithsoulaflame。

  \"Igotnosquid。NeveragaininallmylifehaveIdivedforsquid。Perhapswewerefivefathomsdownandexploringthefaceofthereefwallforlurkingplacesofourprey,whenithappened。I

  hadfoundalikelylairandjustproveditempty,whenIfeltorsensedthenearnessofsomethinginimical。Iturned。Thereitwas,alongsideofme,andnomerefish-shark。Fullyadozenfeetinlength,withtheunmistakablephosphorescentcat’seyegleaminglikeadrowningstar,Iknewitforwhatitwas,atigershark。

  \"Nottenfeettotheright,probingacoralfissurewithhersquidstick,wasthePrincess,andthetigersharkwasheadingdirectlyforher。Mytotalityofthoughtwasprecipitatedtoconsciousnessinasingleall-embracingflash。Theman-eatermustbedeflectedfromher,andwhatwasI,exceptamadloverwhowouldgladlyfightanddie,ormoregladlyfightandlive,forhisbeloved?Remember,shewasthewomanwonderful,andIwasaflameforher。

  \"Knowingfullytheperilofmyact,Ithrusttheblunt-sharpendofmysquid-stickintothesideoftheshark,muchasonewouldattractapassingacquaintancewithathumb-nudgeintheribs。Andtheman-eaterturnedonme。YouknowtheSouthSeas,andyouknowthatthetigershark,likethebald-facegrizzlyofAlaska,nevergivestrail。Thecombat,fathomsdeepunderthesea,wason-ifbycombatmaybenamedsuchaone-sidedstruggle。

  \"ThePrincessunaware,caughthersquidandrosetothesurface。

  Theman-eaterrushedme。Ifendedhimoffwithbothhandsonhisnoseabovehisthousand-toothedopenmouth,sothathebackedmeagainstthesharpcoral。Thescarsaretheretothisday。

  WheneverItriedtorise,herushedme,andIcouldnotremaindownthereindefinitelywithoutair。Wheneverherushedme,Ifendedhimoffwithmyhandsonhisnose。AndIwouldhaveescapedunharmed,exceptfortheslipofmyrighthand。Intohismouthitwenttotheelbow。Hisjawsclosed,justbelowtheelbow。Youknowhowashark’steethare。Onceintheycannotbereleased。

  Theymustgothroughtocompletethebite,buttheycannotgothroughheavybone。So,fromjustbelowtheelbowhestrippedthebonecleantothearticulationofthewrist-joint,wherehisteethmetandmygoodrighthandbecamehisforanappetizer。

  \"Butwhilehewasdoingthis,Idrovethethumbofmylefthand,tothehiltintohiseye-orificeandpoppedouthiseye。Thisdidnotstophim。Themeathadmaddenedhim。Hepursuedthegushingstumpofmywrist。HalfadozentimesIfendedwithmyintactarm。Thenhegotthepoormangledarmagain,closeddown,andstrippedthemeatoffthebonefromtheshoulderdowntotheelbow-joint,wherehisteethmetandhewasfreeofhissecondmouthfulofme。But,atthesametime,withmygoodarm,Ithumbedouthisremainingeye。\"

  PercivalDelaneyshruggedhisshoulders,ereheresumed。

  \"Fromabove,thoseinthecanoehadbeheldtheentirehappeningandwereloudinpraiseofmydeed。Tothisdaytheystillsingthesongofme,andtellthetaleofme。AndthePrincess。\"Hispausewasbriefbutsignificant。\"ThePrincessmarriedme……Oh,well-a-dayandlack-a-day,thewhirligigoftimeandfortune,thetopsyturvinessofluck,thewoodenshoegoingupandthepolishedheeldescendingaFrenchgunboat,aconqueredislandkingdomofOceania,to-dayruledoverbyapeasant-born,unlettered,colonialgendarme,and……\"

  Hecompletedthesentenceandthetalebyburyinghisfaceinthedown-tiltedmouthofthecondensedmilkcanandbygurglingthecorrosivedrinkdownhisthroatinthirstygulps。

  Afteranappropriatepause,ChaunceyDelarouse,otherwiseWhiskers,tookupthetale。

  \"FarbeitfrommetoboastofnomatterwhatplaceofbirthIhavedescendedfromtositherebythisfirewithsuchas……aschancealong。Imaysay,however,thatI,too,wasonceaconsiderablefigureofaman。Imayaddthatitwashorses,plusparentstooindulgent,thatexiledmeoutovertheworld。Imaystillwondertoquery:’AreDover’scliffsstillwhite?’\"

  \"Huh!\"BruceCadoganCavendishsneered。\"Nextyou’llbeasking:

  ’HowfarestheoldLordWarden?’\"

  \"AndItookeveryliberty,andvainly,withaconstitutionthatwasiron,\"Whiskershurriedon。\"HereIamwithmythreescoreandtenbehindme,andbackonthatlongroadhaveIburiedmanyayoungsterthatwasasrareanddevilishasI,butwhocouldnotstandthepace。Iknewtheworsttooyoung。AndnowIknowtheworsttooold。Buttherewasatime,alasalltooshort,whenI

  knew,thebest。

  \"I,too,kissmyhandtothePrincessofmyheart。Shewastrulyaprincess,Polynesian,athousandmilesandmoreawaytotheeastwardandthesouthfromDelaney’sIsleofLove。ThenativesofallaroundthatpartoftheSouthSeascalledittheJollyIsland。

  Theirownname,thenameofthepeoplewhodweltthereon,translatesdelicatelyandjustlyinto’TheIslandofTranquilLaughter。’OnthechartyouwillfindtheerroneousnamegiventoitbytheoldnavigatorstobeManatomana。TheseafaringgentrytheroundoceanaroundcalledittheAdamlessEden。AndthemissionariesforatimecalleditGod’sWitness-sogreathadbeentheirsuccessatconvertingtheinhabitants。Asforme,itwas,andevershallbe,Paradise。

  \"ItwasMYParadise,foritwastheremyPrincesslived。JohnAsibeliTungiwasking。Hewasfull-bloodednative,descendedoutoftheoldestandhighestchief-stockthattracedbacktoManuawhichwastheprimevalseahomeoftherace。AlsowasheknownasJohntheApostate。Helivedalonglifeandapostasizedfrequently。FirstconvertedbytheCatholics,hethrewdowntheidols,brokethetabus,cleanedoutthenativepriests,executedafewoftherecalcitrantones,andsentallhissubjectstochurch。

  \"Nexthefellforthetraders,whodevelopedinhimachampagnethirst,andheshippedofftheCatholicprieststoNewZealand。

  Thegreatmajorityofhissubjectsalwaysfollowedhislead,and,havingnoreligionatall,ensuedthetimeoftheGreatLicentiousness,whenbyallSouthSeasmissionarieshisisland,insermons,wasspokenofasBabylon。

  \"Butthetradersruinedhisdigestionwithtoomuchchampagne,andafterseveralyearshefellfortheGospelaccordingtotheMethodists,senthispeopletochurch,andcleanedupthebeachandthetradingcrowdsospickandspanthathewouldnotpermitthemtosmokeapipeoutofdoorsonSunday,and,finedoneofthechieftradersonehundredgoldsovereignsforwashinghisschooner’sdecksontheSabbathmorn。

  \"ThatwasthetimeoftheBlueLaws,butperhapsitwastoorigorousforKingJohn。OffhepackedtheMethodists,onefineday,exiledseveralhundredofhispeopletoSamoaforstickingtoMethodism,and,ofallthings,inventedareligionofhisown,withhimselfthefigure-headofworship。InthishewasaidedandabettedbyarenegadeFijian。Thislastedfiveyears。MaybehegrewtiredofbeingGod,ormaybeitwasbecausetheFijiandecampedwiththesixthousandpoundsintheroyaltreasury;butatanyratetheSecondReformedWesleyansgothim,andhisentirekingdomwentWesleyan。ThepioneerWesleyanmissionaryheactuallymadeprimeminister,andwhathedidtothetradingcrowdwasacaution。Why,intheend,KingJohn’skingdomwasblacklistedandboycottedbythetraderstilltherevenuesdiminishedtozero,thepeoplewentbankrupt,andKingJohncouldn’tborrowashillingfromhismostpowerfulchief。

  \"Bythistimehewasgettingold,andphilosophic,andtolerant,andspirituallyatavistic。HefiredouttheSecondReformedWesleyans,calledbacktheexilesfromSamoa,invitedinthetraders,heldagenerallove-feast,tookthelidoff,proclaimedreligiouslibertyandhightariff,andasforhimselfwentbacktotheworshipofhisancestors,duguptheidols,reinstatedafewoctogenarianpriests,andobservedthetabus。Allofwhichwaslovelyforthetraders,andprosperityreigned。Ofcourse,mostofhissubjectsfollowedhimbackintoheathenworship。YetquiteasprinklingofCatholics,MethodistsandWesleyansremainedtruetotheirbeliefsandmanagedtomaintainafewsqualid,one-horsechurches。ButKingJohndidn’tmind,anymorethandidhethehightimesofthetradersalongthebeach。Everythingwent,solongasthetaxeswerepaid。Evenwhenhiswife,QueenMamare,electedtobecomeaBaptist,andinvitedinalittle,weazened,sweet-

  spirited,club-footedBaptistmissionary,KingJohndidnotobject。

  Allheinsistedonwasthatthesewanderingreligionsshouldbeself-supportingandnotfeedapennyworth’soutoftheroyalcoffers。

  \"Andnowthethreadsofmyrecitaldrawtogetherintheparagonoffemaleexquisiteness-myPrincess。\"

  Whiskerspaused,placedcarefullyonthegroundhishalf-fullcondensedmilkcanwithwhichhehadbeenabsentlytoying,andkissedthefingersofhisonehandaudiblyaloft。

  \"ShewasthedaughterofQueenMamare。Shewasthewomanwonderful。UnliketheDianatypeofPolynesian,shewasalmostethereal。SheWASethereal,sublimatedbypurity,asshyandmodestasaviolet,asfragile-slenderasalily,andhereyes,luminousandshrinkingtender,wereasasphodelsontheswardofheaven。Shewasallflower,andfire,anddew。Herswasthesweetnessofthemountainrose,thegentlenessofthedove。Andshewasallofgoodaswellasallofbeauty,devoutinherbeliefinhermother’sworship,whichwastheworshipintroducedbyEbenezerNaismith,theBaptistmissionary。Butmakenomistake。

  ShewasnomeresweetspiritripeforthebosomofAbraham。Allofexquisitedeliciousnessofwomanwasshe。Shewaswoman,allwoman,tothelastsensitivequiveringatomofher-

  \"AndI?Iwasawastrelofthebeach。ThewildestwasnotsowildasI,thekeenestnotsokeen,ofallthatwild,keentradingcrowd。ItwasesteemedIplayedthestiffesthandofpoker。Iwastheonlylivingman,white,brown,orblack,whodaredruntheKuni-kuniPassageinthedark。AndonablacknightIhavedoneitunderreefsinagaleofwind。Well,anyway,Ihadabadreputationonabeachwheretherewerenogoodreputations。Iwasreckless,dangerous,stoppedatnothinginfightorfrolic;andthetradingcaptainsusedtobringboiler-sheetedprodigiesfromthevilestholesoftheSouthPacifictotryanddrinkmeunderthetable。Irememberone,acalcinedScotchmanfromtheNewHebrides。

  Itwasagreatdrinking。Hediedofit,andweladedhimaboardship,pickledinacaskoftraderum,andsenthimbacktohisownplace。Asample,afairsample,oftheantictrickswecutuponthebeachofManatomana。

  \"Andofallunthinkablethings,whatdidIupanddo,oneday,butlookuponthePrincesstofindhergoodandtofallinlovewithher。Itwastherealthing。IwasasmadasaMarchhare,andafterthatIgotonlymadder。Ireformed。Thinkofthat!Thinkofwhataslipofawomancandotoabusy,rovingman!-BytheLordHarry,it’strue。Ireformed。Iwenttochurch。Hearme!I

  becameconverted。IclearedmysoulbeforeGodandkeptmyhands-

  Ihadtwothen-offtheribaldcrewofthebeachwhenitlaughedatthis,mylatestantic,andwantedtoknowwhatwasmygame。

  \"ItellyouIreformed,andgavemyselfinpassionandsinceritytoareligiousexperiencethathasmademetolerantofallreligioneversince。Idischargedmybestcaptainforimmorality。SodidI

  mycook,andabetterneverboiledwaterinManatomana。ForthesamereasonIdischargedmychiefclerk。AndforthefirsttimeinthehistoryoftradingmyschoonerstothewestwardcarriedBiblesintheirstock。Ibuiltalittleanchoritebungalowuptownonamango-linedstreetsquarelyalongsidethelittlehouseoccupiedbyEbenezerNaismith。AndImadehimmypalandcomrade,andfoundhimaveritablehoneypotofsweetnessesandgoodnesses。Andhewasaman,throughandthroughaman。Andhediedlongafterlikeaman,whichIwouldliketotellyouabout,werethetaleofitnotsodeservedlylong。

  \"ItwasthePrincess,morethanthemissionary,whowasresponsibleformyexpressingmyfaithinworks,andespeciallyinthatcrowningwork,theNewChurch,OurChurch,theQueen-mother’schurch。

  \"’Ourpoorchurch,’shesaidtome,onenightafterprayer-meeting。

  Ihadbeenconvertedonlyafortnight。’Itissosmallitscongregationcannevergrow。Andtheroofleaks。AndKingJohn,myhard-heartedfather,willnotcontributeapenny。Yethehasabigbalanceinthetreasury。AndManatomanaisnotpoor。Muchmoneyismadeandsquandered,Iknow。Ihearthegossipofthewildwaysofthebeach。Lessthanamonthagoyoulostmoreinonenight,gamblingatcards,thanthecostoftheupkeepofourpoorchurchforayear。’

  \"AndItoldheritwastrue,butthatitwasbeforeIhadseenthelight。(I’dhadaninfernalrunofbadluck。)ItoldherIhadnottastedliquorsince,norturnedacard。Itoldherthattheroofwouldberepairedatonce,byChristiancarpentersselectedbyherfromthecongregation。ButshewasfilledwiththethoughtofagreatrevivalthatEbenezerNaismithcouldpreach-shewasadearsaint-andshespokeofagreatchurch,saying:

  \"’Youarerich。Youhavemanyschooners,andtradersinfarislands,andIhaveheardofagreatcontractyouhavesignedtorecruitlabourfortheGermanplantationsofUpolu。Theysay,nexttoSweitzer,youaretherichesttraderhere。IshouldlovetoseesomeuseofallthismoneyplacedtothegloryofGod。Itwouldbeanoblethingtodo,andIshouldbeproudtoknowthemanwhowoulddoit。’

  \"ItoldherthatEbenezerNaismithwouldpreachtherevival,andthatIwouldbuildachurchgreatenoughinwhichtohouseit。

  \"’AsbigastheCatholicchurch?’sheasked。

  \"Thiswastheruinedcathedral,builtatthetimewhentheentirepopulationwasconverted,anditwasalargeorder;butIwasafirewithlove,andItoldherthatthechurchIwouldbuildwouldbeevenbigger。

  \"’Butitwilltakemoney,’Iexplained。’Andittakestimetomakemoney。’

  \"’Youhavemuch,’shesaid。’Somesayyouhavemoremoneythanmyfather,theKing。

  \"’Ihavemorecredit,’Iexplained。’Butyoudonotunderstandmoney。Ittakesmoneytohavecredit。So,withthemoneyIhave,andthecreditIhave,Iwillworktomakemoremoneyandcredit,andthechurchshallbebuilt。’

  \"Work!Iwasasurprisetomyself。Itisanamazement,theamountoftimeamanfindsonhishandsafterhe’sgivenupcarousing,andgambling,andallthetime-eatingdiversionsofthebeach。AndI

  didn’twasteasecondofallmynew-foundtime。InsteadIworkeditovertime。Ididtheworkofhalfadozenmen。Ibecameadriver。Mycaptainsmadefasterrunsthaneverandearnedbiggerbonuses,asdidmysupercargoes,whosawtoitthatmyschoonersdidnotloafanddawdlealongtheway。AndIsawtoitthatmysupercargoesdidseetoit。

  \"Andgood!BytheLordHarryIwassogoodithurt。Myconsciencegotsoexpansiveandfine-strungitlamedmeacrosstheshoulderstocarryitaroundwithme。Why,IevenwentbackovermyaccountsandpaidSweitzerfiftyquidI’djiggeredhimoutofinadealinFijithreeyearsbefore。AndIcompoundedtheinterestaswell。

  \"Work!Iplantedsugarcane-thefirstcommercialplantingonManatomana。Iranincargoesofkinky-headsfromMalaita,whichisintheSolomons,tillIhadtwelvehundredoftheblackbirdsputtingincane。AndIsentaschoonercleartoHawaiitobringbackadismantledsugarmillandaGermanwhosaidheknewthefield-endofcane。Andhedid,andhechargedmethreehundreddollarsscrewamonth,andItookholdofthemill-end。I

  installedthemillmyself,withthehelpofseveralmechanicsI

  broughtupfromQueensland。

  \"Ofcoursetherewasarival。HisnamewasMotomoe。HewastheveryhighestchiefbloodnexttoKingJohn’s。Hewasfullnative,astrapping,handsomeman,withagloweringwayofshowinghisdislikes。HecertainlygloweredatmewhenIbeganhangingaroundthepalace。Hewentbackinmyhistoryandcirculatedtheblackesttalesaboutme。Theworstofitwasthatmostofthemweretrue。

  HeevenmadeavoyagetoApiatofindthingsout-asifhecouldn’tfindaplentyrightthereonthebeachofManatomana!Andhesneeredatmyfailingforreligion,andatmygoingtoprayer-

  meeting,and,mostofall,atmysugar-planting。Hechallengedmetofight,andIkeptoffofhim。Hethreatenedme,andIlearnedinthenickoftimeofhisplantohavemeknockedonthehead。

  Yousee,hewantedthePrincessjustasmuchasIdid,andIwantedhermore。

  \"Sheusedtoplaythepiano。SodidI,once。ButIneverletherknowafterI’dheardherplaythefirsttime。Andshethoughtherplayingwaswonderful,thedear,fondgirl!Youknowthesort,themechanicalone-two-threetum-tum-tumschool-girlstuff。AndnowI’lltellyousomethingfunnier。HerplayingWASwonderfultome。

  Thegatesofheavenopenedtomewhensheplayed。Icanseemyselfnow,wornoutanddog-tiredafterthelongday,lyingonthematsofthepalaceverandaandgazinguponheratthepiano,myselfinaperfectidiocyofbliss。Why,thisideashehadofherfineplayingwastheoneflawinherdeliciousnessofperfection,andI

  lovedherforit。Itkindofbroughtherwithinmyhumanreach。

  Why,whensheplayedherone-two-three,tum-tum-tum,Iwasintheseventhheavenofbliss。Mywearinessfellfromme。Ilovedher,andmyloveforherwascleanasflame,cleanasmyloveforGod。

  Anddoyouknow,intomyfondlover’sfancycontinuallyintrudedthethoughtthatGodinmostwaysmustlooklikeher。

  \"-That’sright,BruceCadoganCavendish,sneerasyoulike。ButItellyouthat’slovethatI’vebeendescribing。That’sall。

  It’slove。It’stherealest,purest,finestthingthatcanhappentoaman。AndIknowwhatI’mtalkingabout。Ithappenedtome。\"

  Whiskers,hisbeadysquirrel’seyeglitteringfromouthisruinedeyebrowlikealivecoalinajungleambush,brokeofflongenoughtodownasedativedraughtfromhiscondensedmilkcanandtomixanother。

  \"Thecane,\"heresumed,wipinghisprodigiousmatoffacehairwiththebackofhishand。\"Itmaturedinsixteenmonthsinthatclimate,andIwasready,justreadyandnomore,withthemillforthegrinding。Naturally,itdidnotallmatureatonce,butIhadplantedinsuchsuccessionthatIcouldgrindforninemonthssteadily,whilemorewasbeingplantedandtheratoonswerespringingup。

  \"Ihadmytroublesthefirstseveraldays。Ifitwasn’tonethingthematterwiththemill,itwasanother。Onthefourthday,Ferguson,myengineer,hadtoshutdownseveralhoursinordertoremedyhisowntroubles。Iwasbotheredbythefeeder。Afterhavingtheniggers(whohadbeenfeedingthecane)pourcreamoflimeontherollerstokeepeverythingsweet,Isentthemouttojointhecane-cuttingsquads。SoIwasallaloneatthatend,justasFergusonstartedupthemill,justasIdiscoveredwhatwasthematterwiththefeed-rollers,andjustasMotomoestrolledup。

  \"Hestoodthere,inNorfolkjacket,pigskinputtees,andalltherestofthefashionableget-upoutofabandbox,sneeringatmecoveredwithfilthandgreasetotheeyebrowsandlookinglikeanavvy。And,therollersnowwhitefromthelime,I’djustseenwhatwaswrong。Therollerswerenotinplumb。Onesidecrushedthecanewell,buttheothersidewastooopen。Ishovedmyfingersinonthatside。Thebig,toothedcogsontherollersdidnottouchmyfingers。Andyet,suddenly,theydid。Withthegripoftenthousanddevils,myfinger-tipswerecaught,drawnin,andpulpedto-well,justpulp。And,likeaslickofcane,Ihadstartedonmyway。Therewasnostoppingme。Tenthousandhorsescouldnothavepulledmeback。Therewasnothingtostopme。

  Hand,arm,shoulder,head,andchest,downtothetoesofme,Iwasdoomedtofeedthrough。

  \"Itdidhurt。Ithurtsomuchitdidnothurtmeatall。Quitedetached,almostmayIsay,Ilookedonmyhandbeinggroundup,knucklebyknuckle,jointbyjoint,thebackofthehand,thewrist,theforearm,allinorderslowlyandinevitablyfeedingin。

  Oengineerhoistbythineownpetard!Osugar-makercrushedbythineowncane-crusher!

  \"Motomoesprangforwardinvoluntarily,andthesneerwaschasedfromhisfacebyanexpressionofsolicitude。Thenthebeautyofthesituationdawnedonhim,andhechuckledandgrinned。No,I

  didn’texpectanythingofhim。Hadn’thetriedtoknockmeonthehead?Whatcouldhedoanyway?Hedidn’tknowanythingaboutengines。

  \"IyelledatthetopofmylungstoFergusontoshutofftheengine,buttheroarofthemachinerydrownedmyvoice。AndthereIstood,uptotheelbowandfeedingrightonin。Yes,itdidhurt。Thereweresomeastonishingtwingeswhenspecialnerveswereshreddedanddraggedoutbytheroots。ButIrememberthatIwassurprisedatthetimethatitdidnothurtworse。

  \"Motomoemadeamovementthatattractedmyattention。Atthesametimehegrowledoutloud,asifhehatedhimself,’I’mafool。’

  Whathehaddonewastopickupacane-knife-youknowthekind,asbigasamacheteandasheavy。AndIwasgratefultohiminadvanceforputtingmeoutofmymisery。Therewasn’tanysenseinslowlyfeedingintillmyheadwascrushed,andalreadymyarmwaspulpedhalfwayfromelbowtoshoulder,andthepulpingwasgoingrighton。SoIwasgrateful,asIbentmyheadtotheblow。

  \"’Getyourheadoutoftheway,youidiot!’hebarkedatme。

  \"AndthenIunderstoodandobeyed。Iwasabigman,andhetooktwohackstodoit;buthehackedmyarmoffjustoutsidetheshoulderanddraggedmebackandlaidmedownonthecane。

  \"Yes,thesugarpaid-enormously;andIbuiltforthePrincessthechurchofhersaintlydream,and……shemarriedme。\"

  Hepartlyassuagedhisthirst,andutteredhisfinalword。

  \"Alackaday!Shuttlecockandbattle-dore。Andthisat,theendofitall,linedwithboilerplatethatevenalcoholwillnotcorrodeandthatonlyalcoholwilltickle。YethaveIlived,andIkissmyhandtothedeardustofmyPrincesslongasleepinthegreatmausoleumofKingJohnthatlooksacrosstheValeofManonatothealienflagthatfloatsoverthebungalowoftheBritishGovernmentHouse……\"

  Fattypledgedhimsympathetically,andsympatheticallydrankoutofhisownsmallcan。BruceCadoganCavendishglaredintothefirewithimplacablebitterness。Hewasamanwhopreferredtodrinkbyhimself。AcrossthethinlipsthatcomposedthecruelslashofhismouthplayedtwitchesofmockerythatcaughtFatty’seye。AndFatty,makingsurefirstthathisrock-chunkwaswithinreach,challenged。

  \"Well,howaboutyourself,BruceCadoganCavendish?It’syourturn。\"

  TheotherliftedbleakeyesthatboredintoFatty’suntilhephysicallybetrayeduncomfortableness。

  \"I’velivedahardlife,\"Slimgratedharshly。\"WhatdoIknowaboutlovepassages?\"

  \"Nomanofyourbuildandmake-upcouldhaveescapedthem,\"Fattywheedled。

  \"Andwhatofit?\"Slimsnarled。\"It’snoreasonforagentlemantoboastofamoroustriumphs。\"

  \"Oh,goon,beagoodfellow,\"Fattyurged。\"Thenight’sstillyoung。We’vestillsomedrinkleft。DelarouseandIhavecontributedourshare。Itisn’toftenthatthreerealoneslikeusgettogetherforatelling。Surelyyou’vegotatleastoneadventureinloveyouaren’tashamedtotellabout-\"

  BruceCadoganCavendishpulledforthhisironquoitandseemedtodebatewhetherornotheshouldbraintheother。Hesighed,andputbackthequoit。

  \"Verywell,ifyouwillhaveit,\"hesurrenderedwithmanifestreluctance。\"Likeyoutwo,Ihavehadaremarkableconstitution。

  Andrightnow,speakingofarmour-platelining,Icoulddrinkthebothofyoudownwhenyouwereatyourprime。Likeyoutwo,mybeginningswerefardistantanddifferent。ThatIammarkedwiththehall-markofgentlehoodthereisnodiscussion……unlesseitherofyoucaretodiscussthematternow……\"

  Hisonehandslippedintohispocketandclutchedthequoit。

  Neitherofhisauditorsspokenorbetrayedanyawarenessofhismenace。

  \"ItoccurredathousandmilestothewestwardofManatomana,ontheislandofTagalag,\"hecontinuedabruptly,withanairofsaturninedisappointmentinthattherehadbeennodiscussion。\"ButfirstI

  musttellyouofhowIgottoTagalag。ForreasonsIshallnotmention,bypathsofdescentIshallnotdescribe,inthecrownofmymanhoodandtheprimeofmydevilishnessinwhichOxfordrenegadesandracingyoungersonshadnothingonme,Ifoundmyselfmasterandownerofaschoonersowellknownthatsheshallremainhistoricallynameless。IwasrunningblackbirdlabourfromthewestSouthPacificandtheCoralSeatotheplantationsofHawaiiandthenitrateminesofChili-\"

  \"Itwasyouwhocleanedouttheentirepopulationof-\"Fattyexploded,erehecouldcheckhisspeech。

  TheonehandofBruceCadoganCavendishflashedpocketwardandflashedbackwiththequoitbalancedripeforbusiness。

  \"Proceed,\"Fattysighed。\"I……IhavequiteforgottenwhatI

  wasgoingtosay。\"

  \"Beastlyfunnycountryoverthatway,\"thenarratordrawledwithperfectcasualness。\"You’vereadthisSeaWolfstuff-\"

  \"Youweren’ttheSeaWolf,\"Whiskersbrokeinwithinvoluntarypositiveness。

  \"No,sir,\"wasthesnarlinganswer。\"TheSeaWolf’sdead,isn’the?AndI’mstillalive,aren’tI?\"

  \"Ofcourse,ofcourse,\"Whiskersconceded。\"Hesuffocatedhead-

  firstinthemudoffawharfinVictoriaacoupleofyearsback。\"

  \"AsIwassaying-andIdon’tlikeinterruptions,\"BruceCadoganCavendishproceeded,\"it’sabeastlyfunnycountryoverthatway。

  IwasatTaki-Tiki,alowislandthatpoliticallybelongstotheSolomons,butthatgeologicallydoesn’tatall,fortheSolomonsarehighislands。EthnographicallyitbelongstoPolynesia,Melanesia,andMicronesia,becauseallthebreedsoftheSouthPacifichavegravitatedtoitbycanoe-driftandintricately,degeneratively,andamazinglyinterbred。Thescumofthescrapingsofthebottomofthehumanpit,biologicallyspeaking,residesinTaka-Tiki。AndIknowthebottomandwhereofIspeak。

  \"ItwasabeastlyfunnytimeofitIhad,divingoutshell,fishingbeche-de-mer,tradinghoop-ironandhatchetsforcopraandivory-

  nuts,runningniggersandalltherestofit。Why,eveninFijitheLotuwashavingahardtimeofitandthechiefsstilleatinglong-pig。Tothewestwarditwasfierce-funnylittleblackkinky-heads,man-eatersthelastJackofthem,andthejackpotfatandspillingoverwithwealth-\"

  \"Jack-pots?\"Fattyqueried。Atsightofanirritablemovement,headded:\"Yousee,InevergotovertotheWestlikeDelarouseandyou。\"

  \"They’reallhead-hunters。Headsarevaluable,especiallyawhiteman’shead。Theydecoratethecanoe-housesanddevil-devilhouseswiththem。Eachvillagerunsajack-pot,andeverybodyantes。

  Whoeverbringsinawhiteman’sheadtakesthepot。Iftherearen’topenersforalongtime,thepotgrowstotremendousproportions。Beastlyfunny,isn’tit?

  \"Iknow。Didn’taHollandmatedieonmeofblackwater?Anddidn’tIwinapotmyself?Itwasthisway。WewerelyingatLango-luiatthetime。Ineverleton,andarrangedtheaffairwithJohnny,myboat-steerer。Hewasakinky-headhimselffromPortMoresby。Hecutthedeadmate’sheadoffandsneakedashoreinthemight,whileIwhangedawaywithmyrifleasifIweretryingtogethim。Heopenedthepotwiththemate’shead,andgotit,too。Ofcourse,nextdayIsentinalandingboat,withtwocoveringboats,andfetchedhimoffwiththeloot。\"

  \"Howbigwasthepot?\"Whiskersasked。\"IheardofapotatOrlawortheightyquid。\"

  \"Tocommencewith,\"Slimanswered,\"therewerefortyfatpigs,eachworthafathomofprimeshell-money,andshell-moneyworthaquidafathom。Thatwastwohundreddollarsrightthere。Therewereninety-eightfathomsofshell-money,whichisprettyclosetofivehundredinitself。Andthereweretwenty-twogoldsovereigns。I

  splititfourways:one-fourthtoJohnny,one-fourthtotheship,one-fourthtomeasowner,andone-fourthtomeasskipper。Johnnynevercomplained。He’dneverhadsomuchwealthallatonetimeinhislife。Besides,Igavehimacoupleofthemate’soldshirts。

  AndIfancythemate’sheadisstilltheredecoratingthecanoe-

  house。\"

  \"NotexactlyChristianburialofaChristian,\"Whiskersobserved。

  \"Butalucrativeburial,\"Slimretorted。\"Ihadtofeedtherestofthemateover-sidetothesharksfornothing。Thinkoffeedinganeight-hundred-dollarheadalongwithit。Itwouldhavebeencriminalwasteandstarklunacy。

  \"Well,anyway,itwasallbeastlyfunny,overtheretothewestward。And,withouttellingyouthescrapeIgotintoatTaki-

  Tiki,exceptthatIsailedawaywithtwohundredkinky-headsforQueenslandlabour,andformymannerofcollectingthemhadtwoBritishshipsofwarcombingthePacificforme,IchangedmycourseandrantothewestwardthinkingtodisposeofthelottotheSpanishplantationsonBangar。

  \"Typhoonseason。Wecaughtit。TheMERRYMISTwasmyschooner’sname,andIhadthoughtshewasstoutlybuiltuntilshehitthattyphoon。Ineversawsuchseas。Theypoundedthatstoutcrafttopieces,literallyso。Thestickswerejerkedoutofher,deckhousessplinteredtomatch-wood,railsrippedoff,and,aftertheworsthadpassed,thecoveringboardsbegantogo。Wejustmanagedtorepairwhatwasleftofoneboatandkeeptheschoonerafloatonlytilltheseawentdownbarelyenoughtogetaway。Andweoutfittedthatboatinahurry。ThecarpenterandIwerethelast,andwehadtojumpforitashewentdown。Therewereonlyfourofus-\"

  \"Lostalltheniggers?\"Whiskersinquired。

  \"Someofthemswamforsometime,\"Slimreplied。\"ButIdon’tfancytheymadetheland。Weweretendays’indoingit。Andwehadaspankingbreezemostoftheway。Andwhatdoyouthinkwehadintheboatwithus?Casesofsquare-faceginandcasesofdynamite。Funny,wasn’tit?Well,itgotfunnierlateron。Oh,therewasasmallbeakerofwater,alittlesalthorse,andsomesalt-water-soakedseabiscuit-enoughtokeepusalivetoTagalag。

  \"NowTagalagisthedisappointingestislandI’veeverbeheld。Itshowsupoutoftheseasoasyoucanmakeitsfalltwentymilesoff。Itisavolcanoconethrustupoutofdeepsea,withasegmentofthecraterwallbrokenout。Thisgivesseaentrancetothecrateritself,andmakesafineshelteredharbour。Andthat’sall。Nothinglivesthere。Theoutsideandtheinsideofthecrateraretoosteep。Atoneplace,inside,isapatchofaboutathousandcoconutpalms。Andthat’sall,asIsaid,savingafewinsects。Nofour-leggedthing,evenarat,inhabitstheplace。

  Andit’sfunny,mostawfulfunny,withallthosecoconuts,notevenacoconutcrab。Theonlymeat-foodlivingwasschoolsofmulletintheharbour-fattest,finest,biggestmulletIeverlaideyeson。

  \"Andthefourofuslandedonthelittlebeachandsetuphousekeepingamongthecoconutswithalarderfullofdynamiteandsquare-face。Whydon’tyoulaugh?It’sfunny,Itellyou。Tryitsometime-Hollandginandstraightcoconutdiet。I’veneverbeenabletolookaconfectioner’swindowinthefacesince。NowI’mnotstrongonreligionlikeChaunceyDelarousethere,butI

  havesomeprimitiveideas;andmyconceptofhellisanillimitablecoconutplantation,stockedwithcasesofsquare-faceandpopulatedbyship-wreckedmariners。Funny?Itmustmakethedevilscream。

  \"Youknow,straightcoconutiswhattheagriculturistscallanunbalancedration。Itcertainlyunbalancedourdigestions。Wegotsothatwheneverhungertookanextrabiteatus,wetookanotherdrinkofgin。Afteracoupleofweeksofit,Olaf,asquareheadsailor,gotanidea。Itcamewhenhewasfullofgin,andwe,beinginthesamefix,justwatchedhimshoveacapandshortfuseintoastickofdynamiteandstrolldowntowardtheboat。

  \"Itdawnedonmethathewasgoingtoshootfishiftherewereanyabout;butthesunwasbeastlyhot,andIjustreclinedthereandhopedhe’dhaveluck。

  \"Abouthalfanhourafterhedisappearedweheardtheexplosion。

  Buthedidn’tcomeback。Wewaitedtillthecoolofsunset,anddownonthebeachfoundwhathadbecomeofhim。Theboatwasthereallright,groundedbytheprevailingbreeze,buttherewasnoOlaf。Hewouldneverhavetoeatcoconutagain。Wewentback,shakierthanever,andcrackedanothersquare-face。

  \"Thenextdaythecookannouncedthathewouldrathertakehischancewithdynamitethancontinuetryingtoexistoncoconut,andthat,thoughhedidn’tknowanythingaboutdynamite,heknewasighttoomuchaboutcoconut。Sowebitthedetonatordownforhim,shovedinafuse,andpickedhimagoodfire-stick,whilehejoltedupwithacouplemorestiffonesofgin。

  \"Itwasthesameprogrammeasthedaybefore。Afterawhileweheardtheexplosionandattwilightwentdowntotheboat,fromwhichwescrapedenoughofthecookforafuneral。

  \"ThecarpenterandIstuckitouttwodaysmore,thenwedrewstrawsforitanditwashisturn。Wepartedwithharshwords;forhewantedtotakeasquare-facealongtorefreshhimselfbytheway,whileIwassetagainstrunninganychanceofwastingthegin。

  Besides,hehadmorethanhecouldcarrythen,andhewobbledandstaggeredashewalked。

  \"Samething,onlytherewasawholelotofhimleftformetobury,becausehe’dpreparedonlyhalfastick。Imanagedtolastitouttillnextday,when,afterdulyfortifyingmyself,Igotsufficientcouragetotacklethedynamite。Iusedonlyathirdofastick-

  youknow,shortfuse,withtheendsplitsoastoholdtheheadofasafetymatch。That’swhereImendedmypredecessors’methods。

  Notusingthematch-head,they’dtoo-longfuses。Therefore,whentheyspottedaschoolofmullet;andlightedthefuse,theyhadtoholdthedynamitetillthefuseburnedshortbeforetheythrewit。

  Iftheythrewittoosoon,itwouldn’tgoofftheinstantithitthewater,whilethesplashofitwouldfrightenthemulletaway。

  Funnystuffdynamite。Atanyrate,Istillmaintainminewasthesafermethod。

  \"IpickedupaschoolofmulletbeforeI’dbeenrowingfiveminutes。Finebigfatonestheywere,andIcouldsmellthemoverthefire。WhenIstoodup,fire-stickinonehand,dynamitestickintheother,mykneeswereknockingtogether。Maybeitwasthegin,ortheanxiousness,ortheweaknessandthehunger,andmaybeitwastheresultofallofthem,butatanyrateIwasallofashake。TwiceIfailedtotouchthefire-sticktothedynamite。

  ThenIdid,heardthematch-headsplutter,andlethergo。

  \"NowIdon’tknowwhathappenedtotheothers,butIknowwhatI

  did。Igotturnedabout。Didyoueverstemastrawberryandthrowthestrawberryawayandpopthestemintoyourmouth?That’swhatIdid。Ithrewthefire-stickintothewaterafterthemulletandheldontothedynamite。Andmyarmwentoffwiththestickwhenitwentoff……\"

  Sliminvestigatedthetomato-canforwatertomixhimselfadrink,butfounditempty。Hestoodup。

  \"Heighho,\"heyawned,andstarteddownthepathtotheriver。

  Inseveralminuteshewasback。Hemixedtheduequantityofriverslushwiththealcohol,tookalong,solitarydrink,andstaredwithbittermoodinessintothefire。

  \"Yes,but……\"Fattysuggested。\"Whathappenedthen?\"

  \"Oh,\"sadSlim。\"Thentheprincessmarriedme,ofcourse。\"

  \"Butyouweretheonlypersonleft,andtherewasn’tanyprincess……\"Whiskerscriedoutabruptly,andthenlethisvoicetrailawaytoembarrassedsilence。

  Slimstaredunblinkinglyintothefire。

  PercivalDelaneyandChaunceyDelarouselookedateachother。

  Quietly,insolemnsilence,eachwithhisonearmaidedtheonearmoftheotherinrollingandtyinghisbundle。Andinsilence,bundlesslungonshoulders,theywentawayoutofthecircleoffirelight。Notuntiltheyreachedthetopoftherailroadembankmentdidtheyspeak。

  \"Nogentlemanwouldhavedoneit,\"saidWhiskers。

  \"Nogentlemanwouldhavedoneit,\"Fattyagreed。

  GlenEllen,California,SEPTEMBER26,1916。

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