WhatImeanttosay,simply,isthatthequarter-decktrainingdoesnotprepareonesufficientlyforthereceptionofliterarycriticism。Onlythat,andnomore。Butthisdefectisnotwithoutgravity。Ifitbepermissibletotwist,invert,adapt(andspoil)M。AnatoleFrance’sdefinitionofagoodcritic,thenletussaythatthegoodauthorishewhocontemplateswithoutmarkedjoyorexcessivesorrowtheadventuresofhissoulamongstcriticisms。Farbefrommetheintentiontomisleadanattentivepublicintothebeliefthatthereisnocriticismatsea。Thatwouldbedishonest,andevenimpolite。Everythingcanbefoundatsea,accordingtothespiritofyourquest——strife,peace,romance,naturalismofthemostpronouncedkind,ideals,boredom,disgust,inspiration——andeveryconceivableopportunity,includingtheopportunitytomakeafoolofyourself——exactlyasinthepursuitofliterature。Butthequarter-deckcriticismissomewhatdifferentfromliterarycriticism。Thismuchtheyhaveincommon,thatbeforetheoneandtheothertheansweringback,asageneralrule,doesnotpay。
Yes,youfindcriticismatsea,andevenappreciation——Itellyoueverythingistobefoundonsaltwater——criticismgenerallyimpromptu,andalwaysvivavoce,whichistheoutward,obviousdifferencefromtheliteraryoperationofthatkind,withconsequentfreshnessandvigourwhichmaybelackingintheprintedword。Withappreciation,whichcomesattheend,whenthecriticandthecriticisedareabouttopart,itisotherwise。
Theseaappreciationofone’shumbletalentshasthepermanencyofthewrittenword,seldomthecharmofvariety,isformalinitsphrasing。Theretheliterarymasterhasthesuperiority,thoughhe,too,canineffectbutsay——andoftensaysitintheveryphrase——\"Icanhighlyrecommend。\"Onlyusuallyheusestheword\"We,\"therebeingsomeoccultvirtueinthefirstpersonplural,whichmakesitspeciallyfitforcriticalandroyaldeclarations。Ihaveasmallhandfuloftheseseaappreciations,signedbyvariousmasters,yellowingslowlyinmywriting-table’sleft-handdrawer,rustlingundermyreverenttouch,likeahandfulofdryleavespluckedforatendermementofromthetreeofknowledge。Strange!Itseemsthatitisforthesefewbitsofpaper,headedbythenamesofafewshipsandsignedbythenamesofafewScotsandEnglishshipmasters,thatIhavefacedtheastonishedindignations,themockeriesandthereproachesofasorthardtobearforaboyoffifteen;thatIhavebeenchargedwiththewantofpatriotism,thewantofsense,andthewantofhearttoo;thatIwentthroughagoniesofself-conflictandshedsecrettearsnotafew,andhadthebeautiesoftheFurcaPassspoiledforme,andhavebeencalledan\"incorrigibleDonQuixote,\"inallusiontothebook-bornmadnessoftheknight。
Forthatspoil!Theyrustle,thosebitsofpaper——somedozenoftheminall。Inthatfaint,ghostlysoundtherelivethememoriesoftwentyyears,thevoicesofroughmennownomore,thestrongvoiceoftheeverlastingwinds,andthewhisperofamysteriousspell,themurmurofthegreatsea,whichmusthavesomehowreachedmyinlandcradleandenteredmyunconsciousear,likethatformulaofMohammedanfaiththeMussulmanfatherwhispersintotheearofhisnew-borninfant,makinghimoneofthefaithfulalmostwithhisfirstbreath。IdonotknowwhetherIhavebeenagoodseaman,butIknowIhavebeenaveryfaithfulone。Andafterallthereisthathandfulof\"characters\"fromvariousshipstoprovethatalltheseyearshavenotbeenaltogetheradream。Theretheyare,brief,andmonotonousintone,butassuggestivebitsofwritingtomeasanyinspiredpagetobefoundinliterature。Butthen,yousee,Ihavebeencalledromantic。Well,thatcan’tbehelped。Butstay。IseemtorememberthatIhavebeencalledarealistalso。Andasthatchargetoocanbemadeout,letustrytoliveuptoit,atwhatevercost,forachange。Withthisendinview,Iwillconfidetoyoucoyly,andonlybecausethereisnooneabouttoseemyblushesbythelightofthemidnightlamp,thatthesesuggestivebitsofquarter-deckappreciationoneandallcontainthewords\"strictlysober。\"
DidIoverhearacivilmurmur,\"That’sverygratifying,tobesure\"?Well,yes,itisgratifying——thankyou。Itisatleastasgratifyingtobecertifiedsoberastobecertifiedromantic,thoughsuchcertificateswouldnotqualifyoneforthesecretaryshipofatemperanceassociationorforthepostofofficialtroubadourtosomelordlydemocraticinstitutionsuchastheLondonCountyCouncil,forinstance。Theaboveprosaicreflectionisputdownhereonlyinordertoprovethegeneralsobrietyofmyjudgmentinmundaneaffairs。Imakeapointofitbecauseacoupleofyearsago,acertainshortstoryofminebeingpublishedinaFrenchtranslation,aParisiancritic——IamalmostcertainitwasM。GustaveKahninthe\"Gil-Blas\"——givingmeashortnotice,summeduphisrapidimpressionofthewriter’squalityinthewordsunpuissantreveur。Sobeit!Whowouldcavilatthewordsofafriendlyreader?Yetperhapsnotsuchanunconditionaldreamerasallthat。IwillmakeboldtosaythatneitheratseanorashorehaveIeverlostthesenseofresponsibility。Thereismorethanonesortofintoxication。
EvenbeforethemostseductivereveriesIhaveremainedmindfulofthatsobrietyofinteriorlife,thatasceticismofsentiment,inwhichalonethenakedformoftruth,suchasoneconceivesit,suchasonefeelsit,canberenderedwithoutshame。Itisbutamaudlinandindecentveritythatcomesoutthroughthestrengthofwine。Ihavetriedtobeasoberworkerallmylife——allmytwolives。Ididsofromtaste,nodoubt,havinganinstinctivehorroroflosingmysenseoffullself-possession,butalsofromartisticconviction。Yettherearesomanypitfallsoneachsideofthetruepaththat,havinggonesomeway,andfeelingalittlebatteredandweary,asamiddle-agedtravellerwillfromthemeredailydifficultiesofthemarch,IaskmyselfwhetherIhavekeptalways,alwaysfaithfultothatsobrietywhereinthereispower,andtruth,andpeace。
Astomysea-sobriety,thatisquiteproperlycertifiedunderthesign-manualofseveraltrustworthyshipmastersofsomestandingintheirtime。Iseemtohearyourpolitemurmurthat\"Surelythismighthavebeentakenforgranted。\"Well,no。Itmightnothavebeen。ThataugustacademicalbodytheMarineDepartmentoftheBoardofTradetakesnothingforgrantedinthegrantingofitslearneddegrees。ByitsregulationsissuedunderthefirstMerchantShippingAct,theverywordSOBERmustbewritten,orawholesackful,aton,amountainofthemostenthusiasticappreciationwillavailyounothing。Thedooroftheexaminationroomsshallremainclosedtoyourtearsandentreaties。ThemostfanaticaladvocateoftemperancecouldnotbemorepitilesslyfierceinhisrectitudethantheMarineDepartmentoftheBoardofTrade。AsIhavebeenfacetofaceatvarioustimeswithalltheexaminersofthePortofLondon,inmygeneration,therecanbenodoubtastotheforceandthecontinuityofmyabstemiousness。Threeofthemwereexaminersinseamanship,anditwasmyfatetobedeliveredintothehandsofeachofthematproperintervalsofseaservice。Thefirstofall,tall,spare,withaperfectlywhiteheadandmoustache,aquiet,kindlymanner,andanairofbenignintelligence,must,Iamforcedtoconclude,havebeenunfavourablyimpressedbysomethinginmyappearance。Hisoldthinhandslooselyclaspedrestingonhiscrossedlegs,hebeganbyanelementaryquestioninamildvoice,andwenton,wenton……Itlastedforhours,forhours。HadI
beenastrangemicrobewithpotentialitiesofdeadlymischieftotheMerchantServiceIcouldnothavebeensubmittedtoamoremicroscopicexamination。Greatlyreassuredbyhisapparentbenevolence,Ihadbeenatfirstveryalertinmyanswers。Butatlengththefeelingofmybraingettingaddledcreptuponme。
Andstillthepassionlessprocesswenton,withasenseofuntoldageshavingbeenspentalreadyonmerepreliminaries。ThenIgotfrightened。Iwasnotfrightenedofbeingplucked;thateventualitydidnotevenpresentitselftomymind。Itwassomethingmuchmoreserious,andweird。\"Thisancientperson,\"I
saidtomyself,terrified,\"issonearhisgravethathemusthavelostallnotionoftime。Heisconsideringthisexaminationintermsofeternity。Itisallverywellforhim。Hisraceisrun。ButImayfindmyselfcomingoutofthisroomintotheworldofmenastranger,friendless,forgottenbymyverylandlady,evenwereIableafterthisendlessexperiencetorememberthewaytomyhiredhome。\"Thisstatementisnotsomuchofaverbalexaggerationasmaybesupposed。SomeveryqueerthoughtspassedthroughmyheadwhileIwasconsideringmyanswers;thoughtswhichhadnothingtodowithseamanship,noryetwithanythingreasonableknowntothisearth。IverilybelievethatattimesIwaslightheadedinasortoflanguidway。
Atlasttherefellasilence,andthat,too,seemedtolastforages,while,bendingoverhisdesk,theexaminerwroteoutmypass-slipslowlywithanoiselesspen。Heextendedthescrapofpapertomewithoutaword,inclinedhiswhiteheadgravelytomypartingbow……
WhenIgotoutoftheroomIfeltlimplyflat,likeasqueezedlemon,andthedoor-keeperinhisglasscage,whereIstoppedtogetmyhatandtiphimashilling,said:
\"Well!Ithoughtyouwerenevercomingout。\"
\"HowlonghaveIbeeninthere?\"Iaskedfaintly。
Hepulledouthiswatch。
\"Hekeptyou,sir,justunderthreehours。Idon’tthinkthiseverhappenedwithanyofthegentlemenbefore。\"
ItwasonlywhenIgotoutofthebuildingthatIbegantowalkonair。Andthehumananimalbeingaversefromchangeandtimidbeforetheunknown,IsaidtomyselfthatIwouldnotmindreallybeingexaminedbythesamemanonafutureoccasion。Butwhenthetimeofordealcameroundagainthedoorkeeperletmeintoanotherroom,withthenowfamiliarparaphernaliaofmodelsofshipsandtackle,aboardforsignalsonthewall,abiglongtablecoveredwithofficialforms,andhavinganunriggedmastfixedtotheedge。Thesolitarytenantwasunknowntomebysight,thoughnotbyreputation,whichwassimplyexecrable。
ShortandsturdyasfarasIcouldjudge,cladinanold,brown,morning-suit,hesatleaningonhiselbow,hishandshadinghiseyes,andhalfavertedfromthechairIwastooccupyontheothersideofthetable。Hewasmotionless,mysterious,remote,enigmatical,withsomethingmournfultoointhepose,likethatstatueofGiuliano(Ithink)de’MedicishadinghisfaceonthetombbyMichaelAngelo,though,ofcourse,hewasfar,farfrombeingbeautiful。Hebeganbytryingtomakemetalknonsense。
ButIhadbeenwarnedofthatfiendishtrait,andcontradictedhimwithgreatassurance。Afterawhileheleftoff。Sofargood。Buthisimmobility,thethickelbowonthetable,theabrupt,unhappyvoice,theshadedandavertedfacegrewmoreandmoreimpressive。Hekeptinscrutablysilentforamoment,andthen,placingmeinashipofacertainsize,atsea,undercertainconditionsofweather,season,locality,&c。&c。——allveryclearandprecise——orderedmetoexecuteacertainmanoeuvre。BeforeIwashalfthroughwithithedidsomematerialdamagetotheship。DirectlyIhadgrappledwiththedifficultyhecausedanothertopresentitself,andwhenthattoowasmethestuckanothershipbeforeme,creatingaverydangeroussituation。Ifeltslightlyoutragedbythisingenuityinpilinguptroubleuponaman。
\"Iwouldn’thavegotintothatmess,\"Isuggestedmildly。\"I
couldhaveseenthatshipbefore。\"
Heneverstirredtheleastbit。
\"No,youcouldn’t。Theweather’sthick。\"
\"Oh!Ididn’tknow,\"Iapologisedblankly。
IsupposethatafterallImanagedtostaveoffthesmashwithsufficientapproachtoverisimilitude,andtheghastlybusinesswenton。Youmustunderstandthattheschemeofthetesthewasapplyingtomewas,Igathered,ahomewardpassage——thesortofpassageIwouldnotwishtomybitterestenemy。Thatimaginaryshipseemedtolabourunderamostcomprehensivecurse。It’snouseenlargingonthesenever-endingmisfortunes;sufficeittosaythatlongbeforetheendIwouldhavewelcomedwithgratitudeanopportunitytoexchangeintothe\"FlyingDutchman。\"FinallyheshovedmeintotheNorthSea(Isuppose)andprovidedmewithalee-shorewithoutlyingsandbanks——theDutchcoastpresumably。
Distance,eightmiles。Theevidenceofsuchimplacableanimositydeprivedmeofspeechforquitehalfaminute。
\"Well,\"hesaid——forourpacehadbeenverysmartindeedtillthen。
\"Iwillhavetothinkalittle,sir。\"
\"Doesn’tlookasifthereweremuchtimetothink,\"hemutteredsardonicallyfromunderhishand。
\"No,sir,\"Isaidwithsomewarmth。\"NotonboardashipIcouldsee。ButsomanyaccidentshavehappenedthatIreallycan’trememberwhatthere’sleftformetoworkwith。\"
Stillhalfaverted,andwithhiseyesconcealed,hemadeunexpectedlyagruntingremark。
\"You’vedoneverywell。\"
\"HaveIthetwoanchorsatthebow,sir?\"Iasked。
\"Yes。\"
Ipreparedmyselfthen,asalasthopefortheship,toletthembothgointhemosteffectualmanner,whenhisinfernalsystemoftestingresourcefulnesscameintoplayagain。
\"Butthere’sonlyonecable。You’velosttheother。\"
Itwasexasperating。
\"ThenIwouldbackthem,ifIcould,andtailtheheaviesthawseronboardontheendofthechainbeforelettinggo,andifshepartedfromthat,whichisquitelikely,Iwouldjustdonothing。
Shewouldhavetogo。\"
\"Nothingmoretodo,eh?\"
\"No,sir。Icoulddonomore。\"
Hegaveabitterhalf-laugh。
\"Youcouldalwayssayyourprayers。\"
Hegotup,stretchedhimself,andyawnedslightly。Itwasasallow,strong,unamiableface。Heputmeinasurly,boredfashionthroughtheusualquestionsastolightsandsignals,andIescapedfromtheroomthankfully——passed!Fortyminutes!AndagainIwalkedonairalongTowerHill,wheresomanygoodmenhadlosttheirheads,because,Isuppose,theywerenotresourcefulenoughtosavethem。AndinmyheartofheartsIhadnoobjectiontomeetingthatexamineroncemorewhenthethirdandlastordealbecamedueinanotheryearorso。IevenhopedI
should。Iknewtheworstofhimnow,andfortyminutesisnotanunreasonabletime。Yes,Idistinctlyhoped……
Butnotabitofit。WhenIpresentedmyselftobeexaminedforMastertheexaminerwhoreceivedmewasshort,plump,witharound,softfaceingrey,fluffywhiskers,andfresh,loquaciouslips。
Hecommencedoperationswithaneasy-going\"Let’ssee。H’m。
Supposeyoutellmeallyouknowofcharter-parties。\"Hekeptitupinthatstyleallthrough,wanderingoffintheshapeofcommentintobitsoutofhisownlife,thenpullinghimselfupshortandreturningtothebusinessinhand。Itwasveryinteresting。\"What’syourideaofajury-ruddernow?\"hequeriedsuddenly,attheendofaninstructiveanecdotebearinguponapointofstowage。
IwarnedhimthatIhadnoexperienceofalostrudderatsea,andgavehimtwoclassicalexamplesofmakeshiftsoutofatext-
book。Inexchangehedescribedtomeajury-rudderhehadinventedhimselfyearsbefore,whenincommandofa3000-tonsteamer。Itwas,Ideclare,thecleverestcontrivanceimaginable。\"Maybeofusetoyousomeday,\"heconcluded。\"Youwillgointosteampresently。Everybodygoesintosteam。\"
Therehewaswrong。Ineverwentintosteam——notreally。IfI
onlylivelongenoughIshallbecomeabizarrerelicofadeadbarbarism,asortofmonstrousantiquity,theonlyseamanofthedarkageswhohadnevergoneintosteam——notreally。
BeforetheexaminationwasoverheimpartedtomeafewinterestingdetailsofthetransportserviceinthetimeoftheCrimeanWar。
\"Theuseofwireriggingbecamegeneralaboutthattimetoo,\"heobserved。\"Iwasaveryyoungmasterthen。Thatwasbeforeyouwereborn。\"
\"Yes,sir。Iamoftheyear1857。\"
\"TheMutinyyear,\"hecommented,asiftohimself,addinginaloudertonethathisshiphappenedthentobeintheGulfofBengal,employedunderaGovernmentcharter。
Clearlythetransportservicehadbeenthemakingofthisexaminer,whosounexpectedlyhadgivenmeaninsightintohisexistence,awakeninginmethesenseofthecontinuityofthatsea-lifeintowhichIhadsteppedfromoutside;givingatouchofhumanintimacytothemachineryofofficialrelations。Ifeltadopted。Hisexperiencewasforme,too,asthoughhehadbeenanancestor。
Writingmylongname(ithastwelveletters)withlaboriouscareontheslipofbluepaper,heremarked:
\"YouareofPolishextraction。\"
\"Bornthere,sir。\"
Helaiddownthepenandleanedbacktolookatmeasitwereforthefirsttime。
\"Notmanyofyournationalityinourservice,Ishouldthink。I
neverremembermeetingoneeitherbeforeorafterIleftthesea。
Don’tremembereverhearingofone。Aninlandpeople,aren’tyou?\"
Isaidyes——verymuchso。Wewereremotefromtheseanotonlybysituation,butalsofromacompleteabsenceofindirectassociation,notbeingacommercialnationatall,butpurelyagricultural。Hemadethenthequaintreflectionthatitwas\"alongwayformetocomeouttobeginasea-life\";asifsea-lifewerenotpreciselyalifeinwhichonegoesalongwayfromhome。
Itoldhim,smiling,thatnodoubtIcouldhavefoundashipmuchnearermynativeplace,butIhadthoughttomyselfthatifIwastobeaseamanthenIwouldbeaBritishseamanandnoother。Itwasamatterofdeliberatechoice。
Henoddedslightlyatthat;andashekeptonlookingatmeinterrogatively,Ienlargedalittle,confessingthatIhadspentalittletimeonthewayintheMediterraneanandintheWestIndies。IdidnotwanttopresentmyselftotheBritishMerchantServiceinanaltogethergreenstate。Itwasnousetellinghimthatmymysteriousvocationwassostrongthatmyverywildoatshadtobesownatsea。Itwastheexacttruth,buthewouldnothaveunderstoodthesomewhatexceptionalpsychologyofmysea-
going,Ifear。
\"Isupposeyou’venevercomeacrossoneofyourcountrymenatsea。Haveyounow?\"
IadmittedIneverhad。Theexaminerhadgivenhimselfuptothespiritofgossipingidleness。Formyself,Iwasinnohastetoleavethatroom。Notintheleast。Theeraofexaminationswasover。Iwouldneveragainseethatfriendlymanwhowasaprofessionalancestor,asortofgrandfatherinthecraft。
Moreover,Ihadtowaittillhedismissedme,andofthattherewasnosign。Asheremainedsilent,lookingatme,Iadded:
\"ButIhaveheardofone,someyearsago。HeseemstohavebeenaboyservinghistimeonboardaLiverpoolship,ifIamnotmistaken。\"
\"Whatwashisname?\"
Itoldhim。
\"Howdidyousaythat?\"heasked,puckeringuphiseyesattheuncouthsound。
Irepeatedthenameverydistinctly。
\"Howdoyouspellit?\"
Itoldhim。Hemovedhisheadattheimpracticablenatureofthatname,andobserved:
\"It’squiteaslongasyourown——isn’tit?\"
Therewasnohurry。IhadpassedforMaster,andIhadalltherestofmylifebeforemetomakethebestofit。Thatseemedalongtime。Iwentleisurelythroughasmallmentalcalculation,andsaid:
\"Notquite。Shorterbytwoletters,sir。\"
\"Isit?\"Theexaminerpushedthesignedblueslipacrossthetabletome,androsefromhischair。Somehowthisseemedaveryabruptendingofourrelations,andIfeltalmostsorrytopartfromthatexcellentman,whowasmasterofashipbeforethewhisperoftheseahadreachedmycradle。Heofferedmehishandandwishedmewell。Heevenmadeafewstepstowardsthedoorwithme,andendedwithgood-naturedadvice。
\"Idon’tknowwhatmaybeyourplansbutyououghttogointosteam。Whenamanhasgothismaster’scertificateit’sthepropertime。IfIwereyouIwouldgointosteam。\"
Ithankedhim,andshutthedoorbehindmedefinitelyontheeraofexaminations。ButthattimeIdidnotwalkonair,asonthefirsttwooccasions。IwalkedacrosstheHillofmanybeheadingswithmeasuredsteps。Itwasafact,Isaidtomyself,thatIwasnowaBritishmastermarinerbeyondadoubt。ItwasnotthatI
hadanexaggeratedsenseofthatverymodestachievement,withwhich,however,luck,opportunity,oranyextraneousinfluencecouldhavehadnothingtodo。Thatfact,satisfactoryandobscureinitself,hadformeacertainidealsignificance。Itwasananswertocertainoutspokenscepticism,andeventosomenotverykindaspersions。Ihadvindicatedmyselffromwhathadbeencrieduponasastupidobstinacyorafantasticcaprice。I
don’tmeantosaythatawholecountryhadbeenconvulsedbymydesiretogotosea。Butforaboybetweenfifteenandsixteen,sensitiveenough,inallconscience,thecommotionofhislittleworldhadseemedaveryconsiderablethingindeed。Soconsiderablethat,absurdlyenough,theechoesofitlingertothisday。Icatchmyselfinhoursofsolitudeandretrospectmeetingargumentsandchargesmadethirty-fiveyearsagobyvoicesnowforeverstill;findingthingstosaythatanassailedboycouldnothavefound,simplybecauseofthemysteriousnessofhisimpulsestohimself。Iunderstoodnomorethanthepeoplewhocalleduponmetoexplainmyself。Therewasnoprecedent。I
verilybelieveminewastheonlycaseofaboyofmynationalityandantecedentstakinga,sotospeak,standingjumpoutofhisracialsurroundingsandassociations。Foryoumustunderstandthattherewasnoideaofanysortof\"career\"inmycall。OfRussiaorGermanytherecouldbenoquestion。Thenationality,theantecedents,madeitimpossible。ThefeelingagainsttheAustrianservicewasnotsostrong,andIdaresaytherewouldhavebeennodifficultyinfindingmywayintotheNavalSchoolatPola。Itwouldhavemeantsixmonths’extragrindingatGerman,perhaps,butIwasnotpasttheageofadmission,andinotherrespectsIwaswellqualified。Thisexpedienttopalliatemyfollywasthoughtof——butnotbyme。Imustadmitthatinthatrespectmynegativewasacceptedatonce。Thatorderoffeelingwascomprehensibleenoughtothemostinimicalofmycritics。Iwasnotcalledupontoofferexplanations;thetruthisthatwhatIhadinviewwasnotanavalcareer,butthesea。
ThereseemednowayopentoitbutthroughFrance。Ihadthelanguageatanyrate,andofallthecountriesinEuropeitiswithFrancethatPolandhasmostconnection。Thereweresomefacilitiesforhavingmealittlelookedafter,atfirst。
Letterswerebeingwritten,answerswerebeingreceived,arrangementswerebeingmadeformydepartureforMarseilles,whereanexcellentfellowcalledSolary,gotatinaroundaboutfashionthroughvariousFrenchchannels,hadpromisedgood-
naturedlytoputlejeunehommeinthewayofgettingadecentshipforhisfirststartifhereallywantedatasteofcemetierdechien。
Iwatchedallthesepreparationsgratefully,andkeptmyowncounsel。ButwhatItoldthelastofmyexaminerswasperfectlytrue。Alreadythedeterminedresolve,that\"ifaseaman,thenanEnglishseaman,\"wasformulatedinmyheadthough,ofcourse,inthePolishlanguage。IdidnotknowsixwordsofEnglish,andI
wasastuteenoughtounderstandthatitwasmuchbettertosaynothingofmypurpose。AsitwasIwasalreadylookeduponaspartlyinsane,atleastbythemoredistantacquaintances。Theprincipalthingwastogetaway。Iputmytrustinthegood-
naturedSolary’sverycivillettertomyuncle,thoughIwasshockedalittlebythephraseaboutthemetierdechien。
ThisSolary(Baptistin),whenIbeheldhimintheflesh,turnedoutaquiteyoungman,verygood-looking,withafineblack,shortbeard,afreshcomplexion,andsoft,merryblackeyes。Hewasasjovialandgood-naturedasanyboycoulddesire。Iwasstillasleepinmyroominamodesthotelnearthequaysoftheoldport,afterthefatiguesofthejourneyviaVienna,Zurich,Lyons,whenheburstinflingingtheshuttersopentothesunofProvenceandchidingmeboisterouslyforlyingabed。Howpleasantlyhestartledmebyhisnoisyobjurgationstobeupandoffinstantlyfora\"threeyears’campaignintheSouthSeas。\"O
magicwords!Unecampagnedetroisansdanslesmersdusud\"——
thatistheFrenchforathreeyears’deep-watervoyage。
Hegavemeadelightfulwaking,andhisfriendlinesswasunwearied;butIfearhedidnotenteruponthequestforashipformeinaverysolemnspirit。Hehadbeenatseahimself,buthadleftoffattheageoftwenty-five,findinghecouldearnhislivingonshoreinamuchmoreagreeablemanner。HewasrelatedtoanincrediblenumberofMarseilleswell-to-dofamiliesofacertainclass。Oneofhisuncleswasaship-brokerofgoodstanding,withalargeconnectionamongstEnglishships;otherrelativesofhisdealtinships’stores,ownedsail-lofts,soldchainsandanchors,weremaster-stevedores,caulkers,shipwrights。Hisgrandfather(Ithink)wasadignitaryofakind,theSyndicofthePilots。Imadeacquaintancesamongstthesepeople,butmainlyamongstthepilots。TheveryfirstwholedayIeverspentonsaltwaterwasbyinvitation,inabighalf-deckedpilot-boat,cruisingunderclosereefsonthelook-
out,inmisty,blowingweather,forthesailsofshipsandthesmokeofsteamersrisingoutthere,beyondtheslimandtallPlanierlighthousecuttingthelineofthewind-swepthorizonwithawhiteperpendicularstroke。Theywerehospitablesouls,thesesturdyProvencalseamen。UnderthegeneraldesignationoflepetitamideBaptistinIwasmadetheguestoftheCorporationofPilots,andhadthefreedomoftheirboatsnightorday。AndmanyadayandanighttoodidIspendcruisingwiththeserough,kindlymen,underwhoseauspicesmyintimacywiththeseabegan。
Manyatime\"thelittlefriendofBaptistin\"hadthehoodedcloakoftheMediterraneansailorthrownoverhimbytheirhonesthandswhiledodgingatnightundertheleeofChateaud’Ifonthewatchforthelightsofships。Theirsea-tannedfaces,whiskeredorshaved,leanorfull,withtheintentwrinkledsea-eyesofthepilot-breed,andhereandthereathingoldhoopatthelobeofahairyear,bentovermysea-infancy。ThefirstoperationofseamanshipIhadanopportunityofobservingwastheboardingofshipsatsea,atalltimes,inallstatesoftheweather。Theygaveittometothefull。AndIhavebeeninvitedtositinmorethanonetall,darkhouseoftheoldtownattheirhospitableboard,hadthebouillabaisseladledoutintoathickplatebytheirhigh-voiced,broad-browedwives,talkedtotheirdaughters——thick-setgirls,withpureprofiles,gloriousmassesofblackhairarrangedwithcomplicatedart,darkeyes,anddazzlinglywhiteteeth。
Ihadalsootheracquaintancesofquiteadifferentsort。Oneofthem,MadameDelestang,animperious,handsomeladyinastatuesquestyle,wouldcarrymeoffnowandthenonthefrontseatofhercarriagetothePrado,atthehouroffashionableairing。Shebelongedtooneoftheoldaristocraticfamiliesinthesouth。InherhaughtywearinesssheusedtomakemethinkofLadyDedlockinDickens’s\"BleakHouse,\"aworkofthemasterforwhichIhavesuchanadmiration,orrathersuchanintenseandunreasoningaffection,datingfromthedaysofmychildhood,thatitsveryweaknessesaremoreprecioustomethanthestrengthofothermen’swork。Ihavereaditinnumerabletimes,bothinPolishandinEnglish;Ihavereaditonlytheotherday,and,byanotverysurprisinginversion,theLadyDedlockofthebookremindedmestronglyofthebelleMadameDelestang。
Herhusband(asIsatfacingthemboth),withhisthinbonynose,andaperfectlybloodless,narrowphysiognomyclampedtogetherasitwerebyshortformalside-whiskers,hadnothingofSirLeicesterDedlock’s\"grandair\"andcourtlysolemnity。Hebelongedtothehautebourgeoisieonly,andwasabanker,withwhomamodestcredithadbeenopenedformyneeds。Hewassuchanardent——no,suchafrozen-up,mummifiedRoyalistthatheusedincurrentconversationturnsofspeechcontemporary,Ishouldsay,withthegoodHenriQuatre;andwhentalkingofmoneymattersreckonednotinfrancs,likethecommon,godlessherdofpost-
RevolutionaryFrenchmen,butinobsoleteandforgottenecus——ecusofallmoneyunitsintheworld!——asthoughLouisQuatorzewerestillpromenadinginroyalsplendourthegardensofVersailles,andMonsieurdeColbertbusywiththedirectionofmaritimeaffairs。Youmustadmitthatinabankerofthenineteenthcenturyitwasaquaintidiosyncrasy。Luckilyinthecounting-
house(itoccupiedpartofthegroundflooroftheDelestangtownresidence,inasilent,shadystreet)theaccountswerekeptinmodernmoney,sothatIneverhadanydifficultyinmakingmywantsknowntothegrave,low-voiced,decorous,Legitimist(I
suppose)clerks,sittingintheperpetualgloomofheavilybarredwindowsbehindthesombre,ancientcounters,beneathloftyceilingswithheavilymouldedcornices。IalwaysfeltongoingoutasthoughIhadbeeninthetempleofsomeverydignifiedbutcompletelytemporalreligion。AnditwasgenerallyontheseoccasionsthatunderthegreatcarriagegatewayLadyDed——ImeanMadameDelestang,catchingsightofmyraisedhat,wouldbeckonmewithanamiableimperiousnesstothesideofthecarriage,andsuggestwithanairofamusednonchalance,\"Venezdoncfaireuntouravecnous,\"towhichthehusbandwouldaddanencouraging\"C’estca。Allons,montez,jeunehomme。\"Hequestionedmesometimes,significantlybutwithperfecttactanddelicacy,astothewayIemployedmytime,andneverfailedtoexpressthehopethatIwroteregularlytomy\"honoureduncle。\"ImadenosecretofthewayIemployedmytime,andIratherfancythatmyartlesstalesofthepilotsandsoonentertainedMadameDelestang,sofarasthatineffablewomancouldbeentertainedbytheprattleofayoungsterveryfullofhisnewexperienceamongststrangemenandstrangesensations。Sheexpressednoopinions,andtalkedtomeverylittle;yetherportraithangsinthegalleryofmyintimatememories,fixedtherebyashortandfleetingepisode。Oneday,afterputtingmedownatthecornerofastreet,sheofferedmeherhand,anddetainedmebyaslightpressure,foramoment。Whilethehusbandsatmotionlessandlookingstraightbeforehim,sheleanedforwardinthecarriagetosay,withjustashadeofwarninginherleisurelytone:\"Ilfaut,cependant,faireattentionanepasgatersavie。\"Ihadneverseenherfacesoclosetominebefore。Shemademyheartbeat,andcausedmetoremainthoughtfulforawholeevening。
Certainlyonemust,afterall,takecarenottospoilone’slife。
Butshedidnotknow——nobodycouldknow——howimpossiblethatdangerseemedtome。
ChapterVII。
Canthetransportsoffirstlovebecalmed,checked,turnedtoacoldsuspicionofthefuturebyagravequotationfromaworkonPoliticalEconomy?Iask——isitconceivable?Isitpossible?
Woulditberight?Withmyfeetontheveryshoresoftheseaandabouttoembracemyblue-eyeddream,whatcouldagood-
naturedwarningastospoilingone’slifemeantomyyouthfulpassion?ItwasthemostunexpectedandthelasttooofthemanywarningsIhadreceived。Itsoundedtomeverybizarre——and,utteredasitwasintheverypresenceofmyenchantress,likethevoiceoffolly,thevoiceofignorance。ButIwasnotsocallousorsostupidasnottorecognisetherealsothevoiceofkindness。Andthenthevaguenessofthewarning——becausewhatcanbethemeaningofthephrase:tospoilone’slife?——arrestedone’sattentionbyitsairofwiseprofundity。Atanyrate,asI
havesaidbefore,thewordsoflabelleMadameDelestangmademethoughtfulforawholeevening。Itriedtounderstandandtriedinvain,nothavinganynotionoflifeasanenterprisethatcouldbemismanaged。ButIleftoffbeingthoughtfulshortlybeforemidnight,atwhichhour,hauntedbynoghostsofthepastandbynovisionsofthefuture,IwalkeddownthequayoftheVieuxPorttojointhepilot-boatofmyfriends。Iknewwhereshewouldbewaitingforhercrew,inthelittlebitofacanalbehindtheFortattheentranceoftheharbour。Thedesertedquayslookedverywhiteanddryinthemoonlightandasiffrost-
boundinthesharpairofthatDecembernight。Aprowlerortwoslunkbynoiselessly;acustom-houseguard,soldier-like,aswordbyhisside,pacedcloseunderthebowspritsofthelongrowofshipsmooredbowsonoppositethelong,slightlycurved,continuousflatwallofthetallhousesthatseemedtobeoneimmenseabandonedbuildingwithinnumerablewindowsshutteredclosely。Onlyhereandthereasmalldingycafeforsailorscastayellowgleamonthebluishsheenoftheflagstones。Passingby,oneheardadeepmurmurofvoicesinside——nothingmore。HowquieteverythingwasattheendofthequaysonthelastnightonwhichIwentoutforaservicecruiseasaguestoftheMarseillespilots!Notafootstep,exceptmyown,notasigh,notawhisperingechooftheusualrevelrygoingoninthenarrowunspeakablelanesoftheOldTownreachedmyear——andsuddenly,withaterrificjinglingrattleofironandglass,theomnibusoftheJollietteonitslastjourneyswungroundthecornerofthedeadwallwhichfacesacrossthepavedroadthecharacteristicangularmassoftheFortSt。Jean。Threehorsestrottedabreastwiththeclatterofhoofsonthegranitesetts,andtheyellow,uproariousmachinejoltedviolentlybehindthem,fantastic,lightedup,perfectlyemptyandwiththedriverapparentlyasleeponhisswayingperchabovethatamazingracket。Iflattenedmyselfagainstthewallandgasped。Itwasastunningexperience。ThenafterstaggeringonafewpacesintheshadowoftheFortcastingadarknessmoreintensethanthatofacloudednightuponthecanal,Isawthetinylightofalanternstandingonthequay,andbecameawareofmuffledfiguresmakingtowardsitfromvariousdirections。PilotsoftheThirdCompanyhasteningtoembark。Toosleepytobetalkativetheysteponboardinsilence。Butafewlowgruntsandanenormousyawnareheard。Somebodyevenejaculates:\"Ah!Coquindesort!\"andsighswearilyathishardfate。
ThepatronoftheThirdCompany(therewerefivecompaniesofpilotsatthattime,Ibelieve)isthebrother-in-lawofmyfriendSolary(Baptistin),abroad-shouldered,deep-chestedmanofforty,withakeen,frankglancewhichalwaysseeksyoureyes。
Hegreetsmebyalow,hearty,\"He,l’ami。Commentva?\"Withhisclippedmoustacheandmassiveopenface,energeticandatthesametimeplacidinexpression,heisafinespecimenofthesouthernerofthecalmtype。Forthereissuchatypeinwhichthevolatilesouthernpassionistransmutedintosolidforce。Heisfair,butnoonecouldmistakehimforamanofthenorthevenbythedimgleamofthelanternstandingonthequay。HeisworthadozenofyourordinaryNormansorBretons,butthen,inthewholeimmensesweepoftheMediterraneanshores,youcouldnotfindhalfadozenmenofhisstamp。
Standingbythetiller,hepullsouthiswatchfromunderathickjacketandbendshisheadoveritinthelightcastintotheboat。Time’sup。Hispleasantvoicecommandsinaquietundertone\"Larguez。\"Asuddenlyprojectedarmsnatchesthelanternoffthequay——and,warpedalongbyalineatfirst,thenwiththeregulartugoffourheavysweepsinthebow,thebighalf-deckedboatfullofmenglidesoutoftheblackbreathlessshadowoftheFort。Theopenwateroftheavant-portglittersunderthemoonasifsownoverwithmillionsofsequins,andthelongwhitebreakwatershineslikeathickbarofsolidsilver。
Withaquickrattleofblocksandonesinglesilkyswish,thesailisfilledbyalittlebreezekeenenoughtohavecomestraightdownfromthefrozenmoon,andtheboat,aftertheclatterofthehauled-insweeps,seemstostandatrest,surroundedbyamysteriouswhisperingsofaintandunearthlythatitmaybetherustlingofthebrilliant,over-poweringmoonraysbreakinglikearain-showeruponthehard,smooth,shadowlesssea。
ImaywellrememberthatlastnightspentwiththepilotsoftheThirdCompany。Ihaveknownthespellofmoonlightsince,onvariousseasandcoasts——coastsofforests,ofrocks,ofsanddunes——butnomagicsoperfectinitsrevelationofunsuspectedcharacter,asthoughonewereallowedtolookuponthemysticnatureofmaterialthings。ForhoursIsupposenowordwasspokeninthatboat。Thepilotsseatedintworowsfacingeachotherdozedwiththeirarmsfoldedandtheirchinsrestingupontheirbreasts。Theydisplayedagreatvarietyofcaps:cloth,wool,leather,peaks,ear-flaps,tassels,withapicturesqueroundberetortwopulleddownoverthebrows;andonegrandfather,withashaved,bonyfaceandagreatbeakofanose,hadacloakwithahoodwhichmadehimlookinourmidstlikeacowledmonkbeingcarriedoffgoodnessknowswherebythatsilentcompanyofseamen——quietenoughtobedead。
Myfingersitchedforthetillerandinduecoursemyfriend,thepatron,surrenderedittomeinthesamespiritinwhichthefamilycoachmanletsaboyholdthereinsonaneasybitofroad。
Therewasagreatsolitudearoundus;theisletsahead,MonteCristoandtheChateaud’Ifinfulllight,seemedtofloattowardsus——sosteady,soimperceptiblewastheprogressofourboat。\"Keepherinthefurrowofthemoon,\"thepatrondirectedmeinaquietmurmur,sittingdownponderouslyinthestern-
sheetsandreachingforhispipe。
Thepilotstationinweatherlikethiswasonlyamileortwotothewestwardoftheislets;andpresently,asweapproachedthespot,theboatweweregoingtorelieveswamintoourviewsuddenly,onherwayhome,cuttingblackandsinisterintothewakeofthemoonunderasablewing,whiletothemoursailmusthavebeenavisionofwhiteanddazzlingradiance。Withoutalteringthecourseahair’s-breadthweslippedbyeachotherwithinanoar’s-length。Adrawlingsardonichailcameoutofher。Instantly,asifbymagic,ourdozingpilotsgotontheirfeetinabody。Anincrediblebabelofbanteringshoutsburstout,ajocular,passionate,volublechatter,whichlastedtilltheboatsweresterntostern,theirsallbrightnowandwithashiningsailtooureyes,weturnedallblacktotheirvision,anddrawingawayfromthemunderasablewing。Thatextraordinaryuproardiedawayalmostassuddenlyasithadbegun;firstonehadenoughofitandsatdown,thenanother,thenthreeorfourtogether,andwhenallhadleftoffwithmuttersandgrowlinghalf-laughsthesoundofheartychucklingbecameaudible,persistent,unnoticed。Thecowledgrandfatherwasverymuchentertainedsomewherewithinhishood。
Hehadnotjoinedintheshoutingofjokes,neitherhadhemovedtheleastbit。Hehadremainedquietlyinhisplaceagainstthefootofthemast。Ihadbeengiventounderstandlongbeforethathehadtheratingofasecond-classableseaman(matelotleger)inthefleetwhichsailedfromToulonfortheconquestofAlgeriaintheyearofgrace1830。And,indeed,Ihadseenandexaminedoneofthebuttonsofhisoldbrownpatchedcoat,theonlybrassbuttonofthemiscellaneouslot,flatandthin,withthewordsEquipagesdeligneengravedonit。Thatsortofbutton,Ibelieve,wentoutwiththelastoftheFrenchBourbons。
\"IpreserveditfromthetimeofmyNavyService,\"heexplained,noddingrapidlyhisfrail,vulture-likehead。Itwasnotverylikelythathehadpickedupthatrelicinthestreet。HelookedcertainlyoldenoughtohavefoughtatTrafalgar——oratanyratetohaveplayedhislittlepartthereasapowder-monkey。ShortlyafterwehadbeenintroducedhehadinformedmeinaFranco-
Provencaljargon,mumblingtremulouslywithhistoothlessjaws,thatwhenhewasa\"shavernohigherthanthat\"hehadseentheEmperorNapoleonreturningfromElba。Itwasatnight,henarratedvaguely,withoutanimation,ataspotbetweenFrejusandAntibesintheopencountry。Abigfirehadbeenlitatthesideofthecross-roads。Thepopulationfromseveralvillageshadcollectedthere,oldandyoung——downtotheverychildreninarms,becausethewomenhadrefusedtostayathome。Tallsoldierswearinghigh,hairycaps,stoodinacirclefacingthepeoplesilently,andtheirsterneyesandbigmoustacheswereenoughtomakeeverybodykeepatadistance。He,\"beinganimpudentlittleshaver,\"wriggledoutofthecrowd,creepingonhishandsandkneesasnearashedaredtothegrenadiers’legs,andpeepingthroughdiscoveredstandingperfectlystillinthelightofthefire\"alittlefatfellowinathree-corneredhat,buttonedupinalongstraightcoat,withabigpaleface,inclinedononeshoulder,lookingsomethinglikeapriest。Hishandswereclaspedbehindhisback……ItappearsthatthiswastheEmperor,\"theAncientcommentedwithafaintsigh。Hewasstaringfromthegroundwithallhismight,when\"mypoorfather,\"whohadbeensearchingforhisboyfranticallyeverywhere,pounceduponhimandhauledhimawaybytheear。
Thetaleseemsanauthenticrecollection。Herelatedittomemanytimes,usingtheverysamewords。Thegrandfatherhonouredmebyaspecialandsomewhatembarrassingpredilection。Extremestouch。HewastheoldestmemberbyalongwayinthatCompany,andIwas,ifImaysayso,itstemporarilyadoptedbaby。Hehadbeenapilotlongerthananymanintheboatcouldremember;
thirty——fortyyears。Hedidnotseemcertainhimself,butitcouldbefoundout,hesuggested,inthearchivesofthePilot-
office。Hehadbeenpensionedoffyearsbefore,buthewentoutfromforceofhabit;and,asmyfriendthepatronoftheCompanyonceconfidedtomeinawhisper,\"theoldchapdidnoharm。Hewasnotintheway。\"Theytreatedhimwithroughdeference。Oneandanotherwouldaddresssomeinsignificantremarktohimnowandagain,butnobodyreallytookanynoticeofwhathehadtosay。Hehadsurvivedhisstrength,hisusefulness,hisverywisdom。Heworelong,green,worstedstockings,pulledupabovethekneeoverhistrousers,asortofwoollennightcaponhishairlesscranium,andwoodenclogsonhisfeet。Withouthishoodedcloakhelookedlikeapeasant。Halfadozenhandswouldbeextendedtohelphimonboard,butafterwardshewasleftprettymuchtohisownthoughts。Ofcourseheneverdidanywork,except,perhaps,tocastoffsomeropewhenhailed:\"He,l’Ancien!letgothehalyardsthere,atyourhand\"——orsomesuchrequestofaneasykind。
Noonetooknoticeinanywayofthechucklingwithintheshadowofthehood。Hekeptitupforalongtimewithintenseenjoyment。Obviouslyhehadpreservedintacttheinnocenceofmindwhichiseasilyamused。Butwhenhishilarityhadexhausteditself,hemadeaprofessionalremarkinaself-assertivebutquaveringvoice:
\"Can’texpectmuchworkonanightlikethis。\"
Noonetookitup。Itwasameretruism。Nothingundercanvascouldbeexpectedtomakeaportonsuchanidlenightofdreamysplendourandspiritualstillness。Wewouldhavetoglideidlytoandfro,keepingourstationwithintheappointedbearings,and,unlessafreshbreezesprangupwiththedawn,wewouldlandbeforesunriseonasmallisletthat,withintwomilesofus,shonelikealumpoffrozenmoonlight,to\"breakacrustandtakeapullatthewinebottle。\"Iwasfamiliarwiththeprocedure。
Thestoutboatemptiedofhercrowdwouldnestleherbuoyant,capablesideagainsttheveryrock——suchistheperfectlysmoothamenityoftheclassicseawheninagentlemood。Thecrustbroken,andthemouthfulofwineswallowed——itwasliterallynomorethanthatwiththisabstemiousrace——thepilotswouldpassthetimestampingtheirfeetontheslabsofsea-saltedstoneandblowingintotheirnippedfingers。Oneortwomisanthropistswouldsitapartperchedonboulderslikeman-likesea-fowlofsolitaryhabits;thesociablydisposedwouldgossipscandalouslyinlittlegesticulatingknots;andtherewouldbeperpetuallyoneoranotherofmyhoststakingaimattheemptyhorizonwiththelong,brasstubeofthetelescope,aheavy,murderous-lookingpieceofcollectiveproperty,everlastinglychanginghandswithbrandishingandlevellingmovements。Thenaboutnoon(itwasashortturnofduty——thelongturnlastedtwenty-fourhours)
anotherboatfulofpilotswouldrelieveus——andweshouldsteerfortheoldPhoenicianport,dominated,watchedoverfromtheridgeofadust-greyaridhillbythered-and-white-stripedpileoftheNotreDamedelaGarde。
AllthiscametopassasIhadforeseeninthefullnessofmyveryrecentexperience。Butalsosomethingnotforeseenbymedidhappen,somethingwhichcausesmetoremembermylastoutingwiththepilots。Itwasonthisoccasionthatmyhandtouched,forthefirsttime,thesideofanEnglishship。
Nofreshbreezehadcomewiththedawn,onlythesteadylittledraughtgotamorekeenedgeonitastheeasternskybecamebrightandglassywithaclean,colourlesslight。Itwaswhilewewereallashoreontheisletthatasteamerwaspickedupbythetelescope,ablackspecklikeaninsectposedonthehardedgeoftheoffing。Sheemergedrapidlytoherwater-lineandcameonsteadily,aslimhullwithalongstreakofsmokeslantingawayfromtherisingsun。Weembarkedinahurry,andheadedtheboatoutforourprey,butwehardlymovedthreemilesanhour。
Shewasabig,high-classcargo-steamerofatypethatistobemetontheseanomore,blackhull,withlow,whitesuper-
structures,powerfullyriggedwiththreemastsandalotofyardsonthefore;twohandsatherenormouswheel——steamsteering-gearwasnotamatterofcourseinthesedays——andwiththemonthebridgethreeothers,bulkyinthickbluejackets,ruddy-faced,muffledup,withpeakedcaps——Isupposeallherofficers。ThereareshipsIhavemetmorethanonceandknownwellbysightwhosenamesIhaveforgotten;butthenameofthatshipseenoncesomanyyearsagointheclearflushofacoldpalesunriseIhavenotforgotten。HowcouldI——thefirstEnglishshiponwhosesideIeverlaidmyhand!Thename——Ireaditletterbyletteronthebow——was\"JamesWestoll。\"Notveryromanticyouwillsay。Thenameofaveryconsiderable,well-knownanduniversallyrespectedNorth-countryshipowner,Ibelieve。JamesWestoll!Whatbetternamecouldanhonourablehard-workingshiphave?TometheverygroupingofthelettersisalivewiththeromanticfeelingofherrealityasIsawherfloatingmotionless,andborrowinganidealgracefromtheausterepurityofthelight。
Wewerethenverynearherand,onasuddenimpulse,I
volunteeredtopullbowinthedinghywhichshovedoffatoncetoputthepilotonboardwhileourboat,fannedbythefaintairwhichhadattendedusallthroughthenight,wentonglidinggentlypasttheblackglisteninglengthoftheship。Afewstrokesbroughtusalongside,anditwasthenthat,fortheveryfirsttimeinmylife,IheardmyselfaddressedinEnglish——thespeechofmysecretchoice,ofmyfuture,oflongfriendships,ofthedeepestaffections,ofhoursoftoilandhoursofease,andofsolitaryhourstoo,ofbooksread,ofthoughtspursued,ofrememberedemotions——ofmyverydreams!Andif(afterbeingthusfashionedbyitinthatpartofmewhichcannotdecay)Idarenotclaimitaloudasmyown,then,atanyratethespeechofmychildren。Thussmalleventsgrowmemorablebythepassageoftime。AstothequalityoftheaddressitselfIcannotsayitwasverystriking。Tooshortforeloquenceanddevoidofallcharmoftone,itconsistedpreciselyofthethreewords\"Lookoutthere,\"growledouthuskilyabovemyhead。
Itproceededfromabigfatfellow(hehadanobtrusive,hairydoublechin)inabluewoollenshirtandroomybreechespulledupveryhigh,eventothelevelofhisbreast-bone,byapairofbracesquiteexposedtopublicview。AswherehestoodtherewasnobulwarkbutonlyarailandstanchionsIwasabletotakeinataglancethewholeofhisvoluminouspersonfromhisfeettothehighcrownofhissoftblackhat,whichsatlikeanabsurdflangedconeonhisbighead。Thegrotesqueandmassivespaceofthatdeckhand(Isupposehewasthat——verylikelythelamp-
trimmer)surprisedmeverymuch。Mycourseofreading,ofdreamingandlongingfortheseahadnotpreparedmeforasea-
brotherofthatsort。InevermetagainafigureintheleastlikehisexceptintheillustrationstoMr。W。W。Jacobs’mostentertainingtalesofbargesandcoasters;buttheinspiredtalentofMr。Jacobsforpokingendlessfunatpoor,innocentsailorsinaprosewhich,howeverextravagantinitsfelicitousinvention,isalwaysartisticallyadjustedtoobservedtruth,wasnotyet。PerhapsMr。Jacobshimselfwasnotyet。Ifancythat,atmost,ifhehadmadehisnurselaughitwasaboutallhehadachievedatthatearlydate。
Therefore,Irepeat,otherdisabilitiesapart,Icouldnothavebeenpreparedforthesightofthathuskyoldporpoise。Theobjectofhisconciseaddresswastocallmyattentiontoaropewhichheincontinentlyflungdownformetocatch。Icaughtit,thoughitwasnotreallynecessary,theshiphavingnowayonherbythattime。Theneverythingwentonveryswiftly。Thedinghycamewithaslightbumpagainstthesteamer’sside,thepilot,grabbingtheropeladder,hadscrambledhalfwayupbeforeIknewthatourtaskofboardingwasdone;theharsh,muffledclangingoftheengine-roomtelegraphstruckmyearthroughtheironplate;mycompanioninthedinghywasurgingmeto\"shoveoff——
pushhard\";andwhenIboreagainstthesmoothflankofthefirstEnglishshipIevertouchedinmylife,Ifeltitalreadythrobbingundermyopenpalm。
Herheadswungalittletothewest,pointingtowardstheminiaturelighthouseoftheJolliettebreakwater,farawaythere,hardlydistinguishableagainsttheland。Thedinghydancedasquashy,splashyjiginthewashofthewakeandturninginmyseatIfollowedthe\"JamesWestoll\"withmyeyes。Beforeshehadgoneinaquarterofamileshehoistedherflagastheharbourregulationsprescribeforarrivinganddepartingships。Isawitsuddenlyflickerandstreamoutontheflagstaff。TheRedEnsign!Inthepellucid,colourlessatmospherebathingthedrabandgreymassesofthatsouthernland,thelividislets,theseaofpaleglassyblueunderthepaleglassyskyofthatcoldsunrise,itwasasfarastheeyecouldreachtheonlyspotofardentcolour——flame-like,intense,andpresentlyasminuteasthetinyredsparktheconcentratedreflectionofagreatfirekindlesintheclearheartofaglobeofcrystal。TheRedEnsign——thesymbolic,protectingwarmbitofbuntingflungwideupontheseas,anddestinedforsomanyyearstobetheonlyroofovermyhead。