AFAMILIARPREFACE
Asageneralrulewedonotwantmuchencouragementtotalkaboutourselves;yetthislittlebookistheresultofafriendlysuggestion，andevenofalittlefriendlypressure。Idefendedmyselfwithsomespirit;but，withcharacteristictenacity，thefriendlyvoiceinsisted，\"Youknow，youreallymust。\"
Itwasnotanargument，butIsubmittedatonce。Ifonemust！……
Youperceivetheforceofaword。Hewhowantstopersuadeshouldputhistrustnotintherightargument，butintherightword。Thepowerofsoundhasalwaysbeengreaterthanthepowerofsense。Idon’tsaythisbywayofdisparagement。Itisbetterformankindtobeimpressionablethanreflective。Nothinghumanelygreat——great，Imean，asaffectingawholemassoflives——hascomefromreflection。Ontheotherhand，youcannotfailtoseethepowerofmerewords;suchwordsasGlory，forinstance，orPity。Iwon’tmentionanymore。Theyarenotfartoseek。Shoutedwithperseverance，withardour，withconviction，thesetwobytheirsoundalonehavesetwholenationsinmotionandupheavedthedry，hardgroundonwhichrestsourwholesocialfabric。There’s\"virtue\"foryouifyoulike！……
Ofcoursetheaccentmustbeattendedto。Therightaccent。
That’sveryimportant。Thecapaciouslung，thethunderingorthetendervocalchords。Don’ttalktomeofyourArchimedes’lever。
Hewasanabsent-mindedpersonwithamathematicalimagination。
Mathematicscommandsallmyrespect，butIhavenouseforengines。GivemetherightwordandtherightaccentandIwillmovetheworld。
Whatadreamforawriter！Becausewrittenwordshavetheiraccent，too。Yes！Letmeonlyfindtherightword！Surelyitmustbelyingsomewhereamongthewreckageofalltheplaintsandalltheexultationspouredoutaloudsincethefirstdaywhenhope，theundying，camedownonearth。Itmaybethere，closeby，disregarded，invisible，quiteathand。Butit’snogood。I
believetherearemenwhocanlayholdofaneedleinapottleofhayatthefirsttry。Formyself，Ihaveneverhadsuchluck。
Andthenthereisthataccent。Anotherdifficulty。Forwhoisgoingtotellwhethertheaccentisrightorwrongtillthewordisshouted，andfailstobeheard，perhaps，andgoesdown-wind，leavingtheworldunmoved？Onceuponatimetherelivedanemperorwhowasasageandsomethingofaliteraryman。Hejotteddownonivorytabletsthoughts，maxims，reflectionswhichchancehaspreservedfortheedificationofposterity。Amongothersayings——Iamquotingfrommemory——Irememberthissolemnadmonition：\"Letallthywordshavetheaccentofheroictruth。\"
Theaccentofheroictruth！Thisisveryfine，butIamthinkingthatitisaneasymatterforanaustereemperortojotdowngrandioseadvice。Mostoftheworkingtruthsonthiseartharehumble，notheroic;andtherehavebeentimesinthehistoryofmankindwhentheaccentsofheroictruthhavemovedittonothingbutderision。
Nobodywillexpecttofindbetweenthecoversofthislittlebookwordsofextraordinarypotencyoraccentsofirresistibleheroism。Howeverhumiliatingformyselfesteem，ImustconfessthatthecounselsofMarcusAureliusarenotforme。Theyaremorefitforamoralistthanforanartist。TruthofamodestsortIcanpromiseyou，andalsosincerity。Thatcomplete，praiseworthysinceritywhich，whileitdeliversoneintothehandsofone’senemies，isaslikelyasnottoembroilonewithone’sfriends。
\"Embroil\"isperhapstoostronganexpression。Ican’timagineamongeithermyenemiesormyfriendsabeingsohardupforsomethingtodoastoquarrelwithme。\"Todisappointone’sfriends\"wouldbenearerthemark。Most，almostall，friendshipsofthewritingperiodofmylifehavecometomethroughmybooks;andIknowthatanovelistlivesinhiswork。Hestandsthere，theonlyrealityinaninventedworld，amongimaginarythings，happenings，andpeople。Writingaboutthem，heisonlywritingabouthimself。Butthedisclosureisnotcomplete。Heremains，toacertainextent，afigurebehindtheveil;asuspectedratherthanaseenpresence——amovementandavoicebehindthedraperiesoffiction。Inthesepersonalnotesthereisnosuchveil。AndIcannothelpthinkingofapassageinthe\"ImitationofChrist\"wheretheasceticauthor，whoknewlifesoprofoundly，saysthat\"therearepersonsesteemedontheirreputationwhobyshowingthemselvesdestroytheopiniononehadofthem。\"Thisisthedangerincurredbyanauthoroffictionwhosetsouttotalkabouthimselfwithoutdisguise。
WhilethesereminiscentpageswereappearingseriallyIwasremonstratedwithforbadeconomy;asifsuchwritingwereaformofself-indulgencewastingthesubstanceoffuturevolumes。ItseemsthatIamnotsufficientlyliterary。Indeed，amanwhoneverwrotealineforprinttillhewasthirty-sixcannotbringhimselftolookuponhisexistenceandhisexperience，uponthesumofhisthoughts，sensations，andemotions，uponhismemoriesandhisregrets，andthewholepossessionofhispast，asonlysomuchmaterialforhishands。Oncebefore，somethreeyearsago，whenIpublished\"TheMirroroftheSea，\"avolumeofimpressionsandmemories，thesameremarksweremadetome。Practicalremarks。But，truthtosay，Ihaveneverunderstoodthekindofthrifttheyrecommend。Iwantedtopaymytributetothesea，itsshipsanditsmen，towhomIremainindebtedforsomuchwhichhasgonetomakemewhatIam。ThatseemedtometheonlyshapeinwhichIcouldofferittotheirshades。Therecouldnotbeaquestioninmymindofanythingelse。ItisquitepossiblethatIamabadeconomist;butitiscertainthatIamincorrigible。
Havingmaturedinthesurroundingsandunderthespecialconditionsofsealife，Ihaveaspecialpietytowardthatformofmypast;foritsimpressionswerevivid，itsappealdirect，itsdemandssuchascouldberespondedtowiththenaturalelationofyouthandstrengthequaltothecall。Therewasnothinginthemtoperplexayoungconscience。Havingbrokenawayfrommyoriginsunderastormofblamefromeveryquarterwhichhadthemerestshadowofrighttovoiceanopinion，removedbygreatdistancesfromsuchnaturalaffectionsaswerestilllefttome，andevenestranged，inameasure，fromthembythetotallyunintelligiblecharacterofthelifewhichhadseducedmesomysteriouslyfrommyallegiance，Imaysafelysaythatthroughtheblindforceofcircumstancestheseawastobeallmyworldandthemerchantservicemyonlyhomeforalongsuccessionofyears。Nowonder，then，thatinmytwoexclusivelyseabooks——\"TheNiggeroftheNarcissus，\"and\"TheMirroroftheSea\"
（andinthefewshortseastorieslike\"Youth\"and\"Typhoon\"——I
havetriedwithanalmostfilialregardtorenderthevibrationoflifeinthegreatworldofwaters，intheheartsofthesimplemenwhohaveforagestraverseditssolitudes，andalsothatsomethingsentientwhichseemstodwellinships——thecreaturesoftheirhandsandtheobjectsoftheircare。
One’sliterarylifemustturnfrequentlyforsustenancetomemoriesandseekdiscoursewiththeshades，unlessonehasmadeupone’smindtowriteonlyinordertoreprovemankindforwhatitis，orpraiseitforwhatitisnot，or——generally——toteachithowtobehave。Beingneitherquarrelsome，noraflatterer，norasage，Ihavedonenoneofthesethings，andIampreparedtoputupserenelywiththeinsignificancewhichattachestopersonswhoarenotmeddlesomeinsomewayorother。Butresignationisnotindifference。Iwouldnotliketobeleftstandingasamerespectatoronthebankofthegreatstreamcarryingonwardsomanylives。Iwouldfainclaimformyselfthefacultyofsomuchinsightascanbeexpressedinavoiceofsympathyandcompassion。
Itseemstomethatinone，atleast，authoritativequarterofcriticismIamsuspectedofacertainunemotional，grimacceptanceoffacts——ofwhattheFrenchwouldcallsecheresseducoeur。Fifteenyearsofunbrokensilencebeforepraiseorblametestifysufficientlytomyrespectforcriticism，thatfineflowerofpersonalexpressioninthegardenofletters。Butthisismoreofapersonalmatter，reachingthemanbehindthework，andthereforeitmaybealludedtoinavolumewhichisapersonalnoteinthemarginofthepublicpage。NotthatIfeelhurtintheleast。Thecharge——ifitamountedtoachargeatall——wasmadeinthemostconsiderateterms;inatoneofregret。
Myansweristhatifitbetruethateverynovelcontainsanelementofautobiography——andthiscanhardlybedenied，sincethecreatorcanonlyexpresshimselfinhiscreation——thentherearesomeofustowhomanopendisplayofsentimentisrepugnant。
Iwouldnotundulypraisethevirtueofrestraint。Itisoftenmerelytemperamental。Butitisnotalwaysasignofcoldness。
Itmaybepride。Therecanbenothingmorehumiliatingthantoseetheshaftofone’semotionmissthemarkofeitherlaughterortears。Nothingmorehumiliating！Andthisforthereasonthatshouldthemarkbemissed，shouldtheopendisplayofemotionfailtomove，thenitmustperishunavoidablyindisgustorcontempt。Noartistcanbereproachedforshrinkingfromariskwhichonlyfoolsruntomeetandonlygeniusdareconfrontwithimpunity。Inataskwhichmainlyconsistsinlayingone’ssoulmoreorlessbaretotheworld，aregardfordecency，evenatthecostofsuccess，isbuttheregardforone’sowndignitywhichisinseparablyunitedwiththedignityofone’swork。
Andthen——itisverydifficulttobewhollyjoyousorwhollysadonthisearth。Thecomic，whenitishuman，soontakesuponitselfafaceofpain;andsomeofourgriefs（someonly，notall，foritisthecapacityforsufferingwhichmakesmanAugustintheeyesofmen）havetheirsourceinweaknesseswhichmustberecognizedwithsmilingcompassionasthecommoninheritanceofusall。Joyandsorrowinthisworldpassintoeachother，minglingtheirformsandtheirmurmursinthetwilightoflifeasmysteriousasanovershadowedocean，whilethedazzlingbrightnessofsupremehopesliesfaroff，fascinatingandstill，onthedistantedgeofthehorizon。
Yes！I，too，wouldliketoholdthemagicwandgivingthatcommandoverlaughterandtearswhichisdeclaredtobethehighestachievementofimaginativeliterature。Only，tobeagreatmagicianonemustsurrenderoneselftooccultandirresponsiblepowers，eitheroutsideorwithinone’sbreast。Wehaveallheardofsimplemensellingtheirsoulsforloveorpowertosomegrotesquedevil。Themostordinaryintelligencecanperceivewithoutmuchreflectionthatanythingofthesortisboundtobeafool’sbargain。Idon’tlayclaimtoparticularwisdombecauseofmydislikeanddistrustofsuchtransactions。
Itmaybemyseatrainingactinguponanaturaldispositiontokeepgoodholdontheonethingreallymine，butthefactisthatIhaveapositivehorroroflosingevenforonemovingmomentthatfullpossessionofmyselfwhichisthefirstconditionofgoodservice。AndIhavecarriedmynotionofgoodservicefrommyearlierintomylaterexistence。I，whohaveneversoughtinthewrittenwordanythingelsebutaformoftheBeautiful——I
havecarriedoverthatarticleofcreedfromthedecksofshipstothemorecircumscribedspaceofmydesk，andbythatact，I
suppose，Ihavebecomepermanentlyimperfectintheeyesoftheineffablecompanyofpureesthetes。
Asinpoliticalsoinliteraryactionamanwinsfriendsforhimselfmostlybythepassionofhisprejudicesandbytheconsistentnarrownessofhisoutlook。ButIhaveneverbeenabletolovewhatwasnotlovableorhatewhatwasnothatefuloutofdeferenceforsomegeneralprinciple。WhethertherebeanycourageinmakingthisadmissionIknownot。Afterthemiddleturnoflife’swayweconsiderdangersandjoyswithatranquilmind。SoIproceedinpeacetodeclarethatIhavealwayssuspectedintheefforttobringintoplaytheextremitiesofemotionsthedebasingtouchofinsincerity。Inordertomoveothersdeeplywemustdeliberatelyallowourselvestobecarriedawaybeyondtheboundsofournormalsensibility——innocentlyenough，perhaps，andofnecessity，likeanactorwhoraiseshisvoiceonthestageabovethepitchofnaturalconversation——butstillwehavetodothat。Andsurelythisisnogreatsin。Butthedangerliesinthewriterbecomingthevictimofhisownexaggeration，losingtheexactnotionofsincerity，andintheendcomingtodespisetruthitselfassomethingtoocold，toobluntforhispurpose——as，infact，notgoodenoughforhisinsistentemotion。Fromlaughterandtearsthedescentiseasytosnivellingandgiggles。
Thesemayseemselfishconsiderations;butyoucan’t，insoundmorals，condemnamanfortakingcareofhisownintegrity。Itishisclearduty。Andleastofallcanyoucondemnanartistpursuing，howeverhumblyandimperfectly，acreativeaim。Inthatinteriorworldwherehisthoughtandhisemotionsgoseekingfortheexperienceofimaginedadventures，therearenopolicemen，nolaw，nopressureofcircumstanceordreadofopiniontokeephimwithinbounds。WhothenisgoingtosayNaytohistemptationsifnothisconscience？
Andbesides——this，remember，istheplaceandthemomentofperfectlyopentalk——Ithinkthatallambitionsarelawfulexceptthosewhichclimbupwardonthemiseriesorcredulitiesofmankind。Allintellectualandartisticambitionsarepermissible，uptoandevenbeyondthelimitofprudentsanity。
Theycanhurtnoone。Iftheyaremad，thensomuchtheworsefortheartist。Indeed，asvirtueissaidtobe，suchambitionsaretheirownreward。Isitsuchaverymadpresumptiontobelieveinthesovereignpowerofone’sart，totryforothermeans，forotherwaysofaffirmingthisbeliefinthedeeperappealofone’swork？Totrytogodeeperisnottobeinsensible。Ahistorianofheartsisnotahistorianofemotions，yethepenetratesfurther，restrainedashemaybe，sincehisaimistoreachtheveryfountoflaughterandtears。
Thesightofhumanaffairsdeservesadmirationandpity。Theyareworthyofrespect，too。Andheisnotinsensiblewhopaysthemtheundemonstrativetributeofasighwhichisnotasob，andofasmilewhichisnotagrin。Resignation，notmystic，notdetached，butresignationopen-eyed，conscious，andinformedbylove，istheonlyoneofourfeelingsforwhichitisimpossibletobecomeasham。
NotthatIthinkresignationthelastwordofwisdom。Iamtoomuchthecreatureofmytimeforthat。ButIthinkthattheproperwisdomistowillwhatthegodswillwithout，perhaps，beingcertainwhattheirwillis——oreveniftheyhaveawilloftheirown。AndinthismatteroflifeandartitisnottheWhythatmatterssomuchtoourhappinessastheHow。AstheFrenchmansaid，\"Ilyatoujourslamaniere。\"Verytrue。Yes。
Thereisthemanner。Themannerinlaughter，intears，inirony，inindignationsandenthusiasms，injudgments——andeveninlove。
Themannerinwhich，asinthefeaturesandcharacterofahumanface，theinnertruthisforeshadowedforthosewhoknowhowtolookattheirkind。
Thosewhoreadmeknowmyconvictionthattheworld，thetemporalworld，restsonafewverysimpleideas;sosimplethattheymustbeasoldasthehills。Itrestsnotably，amongothers，ontheideaofFidelity。AtatimewhennothingwhichisnotrevolutionaryinsomewayorothercanexpecttoattractmuchattentionIhavenotbeenrevolutionaryinmywritings。Therevolutionaryspiritismightyconvenientinthis，thatitfreesonefromallscruplesasregardsideas。Itshard，absoluteoptimismisrepulsivetomymindbythemenaceoffanaticismandintoleranceitcontains。Nodoubtoneshouldsmileatthesethings;but，imperfectEsthete，IamnobetterPhilosopher。
Allclaimtospecialrighteousnessawakensinmethatscornanddangerfromwhichaphilosophicalmindshouldbefree……
IfearthattryingtobeconversationalIhaveonlymanagedtobeundulydiscursive。Ihaveneverbeenverywellacquaintedwiththeartofconversation——thatartwhich，Iunderstand，issupposedtobelostnow。Myyoungdays，thedayswhenone’shabitsandcharacterareformed，havebeenratherfamiliarwithlongsilences。Suchvoicesasbrokeintothemwereanythingbutconversational。No。Ihaven’tgotthehabit。Yetthisdiscursivenessisnotsoirrelevanttothehandfulofpageswhichfollow。They，too，havebeenchargedwithdiscursiveness，withdisregardofchronologicalorder（whichisinitselfacrime），withunconventionalityofform（whichisanimpropriety）。Iwastoldseverelythatthepublicwouldviewwithdispleasuretheinformalcharacterofmyrecollections。\"Alas！\"Iprotested，mildly。\"CouldIbeginwiththesacramentalwords，’Iwasbornonsuchadateinsuchaplace’？Theremotenessofthelocalitywouldhaverobbedthestatementofallinterest。Ihaven’tlivedthroughwonderfuladventurestoberelatedseriatim。Ihaven’tknowndistinguishedmenonwhomIcouldpassfatuousremarks。I
haven’tbeenmixedupwithgreatorscandalousaffairs。Thisisbutabitofpsychologicaldocument，andevenso，Ihaven’twrittenitwithaviewtoputforwardanyconclusionofmyown。\"
Butmyobjectorwasnotplacated。Theseweregoodreasonsfornotwritingatall——notadefenseofwhatstoodwrittenalready，hesaid。
Iadmitthatalmostanything，anythingintheworld，wouldserveasagoodreasonfornotwritingatall。ButsinceIhavewrittenthem，allIwanttosayintheirdefenseisthatthesememoriesputdownwithoutanyregardforestablishedconventionshavenotbeenthrownoffwithoutsystemandpurpose。Theyhavetheirhopeandtheiraim。Thehopethatfromthereadingofthesepagestheremayemergeatlastthevisionofapersonality;
themanbehindthebookssofundamentallydissimilaras，forinstance，\"Almayer’sFolly\"and\"TheSecretAgent，\"andyetacoherent，justifiablepersonalitybothinitsoriginandinitsaction。Thisisthehope。Theimmediateaim，closelyassociatedwiththehope，istogivetherecordofpersonalmemoriesbypresentingfaithfullythefeelingsandsensationsconnectedwiththewritingofmyfirstbookandwithmyfirstcontactwiththesea。
Inthepurposelymingledresonanceofthisdoublestrainafriendhereandtherewillperhapsdetectasubtleaccord。
J。C。K。
APERSONALRECORD
I
Booksmaybewritteninallsortsofplaces。Verbalinspirationmayentertheberthofamarineronboardashipfrozenfastinariverinthemiddleofatown;andsincesaintsaresupposedtolookbenignantlyonhumblebelievers，IindulgeinthepleasantfancythattheshadeofoldFlaubert——whoimaginedhimselftobe（amongotherthings）adescendantofVikings——mighthavehoveredwithamusedinterestoverthedocksofa2，000-tonsteamercalledtheAdowa，onboardofwhich，grippedbytheinclementwinteralongsideaquayinRouen，thetenthchapterof\"Almayer’sFolly\"
wasbegun。Withinterest，Isay，forwasnotthekindNormangiantwithenormousmustachesandathunderingvoicethelastoftheRomantics？Washenot，inhisunworldly，almostascetic，devotiontohisart，asortofliterary，saint-likehermit？
\"’Ithassetatlast，’saidNinatohermother，pointingtothehillsbehindwhichthesunhadsunk。\"……ThesewordsofAlmayer’sromanticdaughterIremembertracingonthegraypaperofapadwhichrestedontheblanketofmybed-place。TheyreferredtoasunsetinMalayanIslesandshapedthemselvesinmymind，inahallucinatedvisionofforestsandriversandseas，farremovedfromacommercialandyetromantictownofthenorthernhemisphere。Butatthatmomentthemoodofvisionsandwordswascutshortbythethirdofficer，acheerfulandcasualyouth，cominginwithabangofthedoorandtheexclamation：
\"You’vemadeitjollywarminhere。\"
Itwaswarm。Ihadturnedonthesteamheaterafterplacingatinundertheleakywater-cock——forperhapsyoudonotknowthatwaterwillleakwheresteamwillnot。Iamnotawareofwhatmyyoungfriendhadbeendoingondeckallthatmorning，butthehandsherubbedtogethervigorouslywereveryredandimpartedtomeachillyfeelingbytheirmereaspect。Hehasremainedtheonlybanjoistofmyacquaintance，andbeingalsoayoungersonofaretiredcolonel，thepoemofMr。Kipling，byastrangeaberrationofassociatedideas，alwaysseemstometohavebeenwrittenwithanexclusiveviewtohisperson。Whenhedidnotplaythebanjohelovedtositandlookatit。Heproceededtothissentimentalinspection，andaftermeditatingawhileoverthestringsundermysilentscrutinyinquired，airily：
\"Whatareyoualwaysscribblingthere，ifit’sfairtoask？\"
Itwasafairenoughquestion，butIdidnotanswerhim，andsimplyturnedthepadoverwithamovementofinstinctivesecrecy：IcouldnothavetoldhimhehadputtoflightthepsychologyofNinaAlmayer，heropeningspeechofthetenthchapter，andthewordsofMrs。Almayer’swisdomwhichweretofollowintheominousoncomingofatropicalnight。IcouldnothavetoldhimthatNinahadsaid，\"Ithassetatlast。\"Hewouldhavebeenextremelysurprisedandperhapshavedroppedhispreciousbanjo。NeithercouldIhavetoldhimthatthesunofmysea-goingwassetting，too，evenasIwrotethewordsexpressingtheimpatienceofpassionateyouthbentonitsdesire。Ididnotknowthismyself，anditissafetosayhewouldnothavecared，thoughhewasanexcellentyoungfellowandtreatedmewithmoredeferencethan，inourrelativepositions，Iwasstrictlyentitledto。
Heloweredatendergazeonhisbanjo，andIwentonlookingthroughtheport-hole。Theroundopeningframedinitsbrassrimafragmentofthequays，witharowofcasksrangedonthefrozengroundandthetailendofagreatcart。Ared-nosedcarterinablouseandawoollennight-capleanedagainstthewheel。Anidle，strollingcustomhouseguard，beltedoverhisbluecapote，hadtheairofbeingdepressedbyexposuretotheweatherandthemonotonyofofficialexistence。Thebackgroundofgrimyhousesfoundaplaceinthepictureframedbymyport-hole，acrossawidestretchofpavedquaybrownwithfrozenmud。Thecolouringwassombre，andthemostconspicuousfeaturewasalittlecafewithcurtainedwindowsandashabbyfrontofwhitewoodwork，correspondingwiththesqualorofthesepoorerquartersborderingtheriver。WehadbeenshifteddowntherefromanotherberthintheneighbourhoodoftheOperaHouse，wherethatsameport-holegavemeaviewofquiteanothersoftofcafe——thebestinthetown，Ibelieve，andtheveryonewheretheworthyBovaryandhiswife，theromanticdaughterofoldPereRenault，hadsomerefreshmentafterthememorableperformanceofanoperawhichwasthetragicstoryofLuciadiLammermoorinasettingoflightmusic。
IcouldrecallnomorethehallucinationoftheEasternArchipelagowhichIcertainlyhopedtoseeagain。Thestoryof\"Almayer’sFolly\"gotputawayunderthepillowforthatday。I
donotknowthatIhadanyoccupationtokeepmeawayfromit;
thetruthofthematteristhatonboardthatshipwewereleadingjustthenacontemplativelife。Iwillnotsayanythingofmyprivilegedposition。Iwasthere\"justtooblige，\"asanactorofstandingmaytakeasmallpartinthebenefitperformanceofafriend。
AsfarasmyfeelingswereconcernedIdidnotwishtobeinthatsteameratthattimeandinthosecircumstances。AndperhapsI
wasnotevenwantedthereintheusualsenseinwhichaship\"wants\"anofficer。ItwasthefirstandlastinstanceinmysealifewhenIservedship-ownerswhohaveremainedcompletelyshadowytomyapprehension。Idonotmeanthisforthewell-knownfirmofLondonship-brokerswhichhadcharteredtheshiptothe，Iwillnotsayshort-lived，butephemeralFranco-CanadianTransportCompany。Adeathleavessomethingbehind，buttherewasneveranythingtangibleleftfromtheF。C。
T。C。Itflourishednolongerthanroseslive，andunliketherosesitblossomedinthedeadofwinter，emittedasortoffaintperfumeofadventure，anddiedbeforespringsetin。Butindubitablyitwasacompany，ithadevenahouse-flag，allwhitewiththelettersF。C。T。C。artfullytangledupinacomplicatedmonogram。Weflewitatourmainmasthead，andnowIhavecometotheconclusionthatitwastheonlyflagofitskindinexistence。Allthesameweonboard，formanydays，hadtheimpressionofbeingaunitofalargefleetwithfortnightlydeparturesforMontrealandQuebecasadvertisedinpamphletsandprospectuseswhichcameaboardinalargepackageinVictoriaDock，London，justbeforewestartedforRouen，France。AndintheshadowylifeoftheF。C。T。C。liesthesecretofthat，mylastemploymentinmycalling，whichinaremotesenseinterruptedtherhythmicaldevelopmentofNinaAlmayer’sstory。
ThethensecretaryoftheLondonShipmasters’Society，withitsmodestroomsinFenchurchStreet，wasamanofindefatigableactivityandthegreatestdevotiontohistask。Heisresponsibleforwhatwasmylastassociationwithaship。Icallitthatbecauseitcanhardlybecalledasea-goingexperience。
DearCaptainFroud——itisimpossiblenottopayhimthetributeofaffectionatefamiliarityatthisdistanceofyears——hadverysoundviewsastotheadvancementofknowledgeandstatusforthewholebodyoftheofficersofthemercantilemarine。Heorganizedforuscoursesofprofessionallectures，St。Johnambulanceclasses，correspondedindustriouslywithpublicbodiesandmembersofParliamentonsubjectstouchingtheinterestsoftheservice;andastotheoncomingofsomeinquiryorcommissionrelatingtomattersoftheseaandtotheworkofseamen，itwasaperfectgodsendtohisneedofexertinghimselfonourcorporatebehalf。Togetherwiththishighsenseofhisofficialdutieshehadinhimaveinofpersonalkindness，astrongdispositiontodowhatgoodhecouldtotheindividualmembersofthatcraftofwhichinhistimehehadbeenaveryexcellentmaster。Andwhatgreaterkindnesscanonedotoaseamanthantoputhiminthewayofemployment？CaptainFrouddidnotseewhytheShipmasters’Society，besidesitsgeneralguardianshipofourinterests，shouldnotbeunofficiallyanemploymentagencyoftheveryhighestclass。
\"Iamtryingtopersuadeallourgreatship-owningfirmstocometousfortheirmen。Thereisnothingofatrade-unionspiritaboutoursociety，andIreallydon’tseewhytheyshouldnot，\"
hesaidoncetome。\"Iamalwaystellingthecaptains，too，that，allthingsbeingequal，theyoughttogivepreferencetothemembersofthesociety。InmypositionIcangenerallyfindforthemwhattheywantamongourmembersorourassociatemembers。\"
InmywanderingsaboutLondonfromwesttoeastandbackagain（I
wasveryidlethen）thetwolittleroomsinFenchurchStreetwereasortofresting-placewheremyspirit，hankeringafterthesea，couldfeelitselfnearertotheships，themen，andthelifeofitschoice——nearertherethanonanyotherspotofthesolidearth。Thisresting-placeusedtobe，ataboutfiveo’clockintheafternoon，fullofmenandtobaccosmoke，butCaptainFroudhadthesmallerroomtohimselfandtherehegrantedprivateinterviews，whoseprincipalmotivewastorenderservice。Thus，onemurkyNovemberafternoonhebeckonedmeinwithacrookedfingerandthatpeculiarglanceabovehisspectacleswhichisperhapsmystrongestphysicalrecollectionoftheman。
\"Ihavehadinhereashipmaster，thismorning，\"hesaid，gettingbacktohisdeskandmotioningmetoachair，\"whoisinwantofanofficer。It’sforasteamship。Youknow，nothingpleasesmemorethantobeasked，but，unfortunately，Idonotquiteseemyway……\"
AstheouterroomwasfullofmenIcastawonderingglanceatthecloseddoor;butheshookhishead。
\"Oh，yes，Ishouldbeonlytoogladtogetthatberthforoneofthem。Butthefactofthematteris，thecaptainofthatshipwantsanofficerwhocanspeakFrenchfluently，andthat’snotsoeasytofind。Idonotknowanybodymyselfbutyou。It’sasecondofficer’sberthand，ofcourse，youwouldnotcare……
wouldyounow？Iknowthatitisn’twhatyouarelookingfor。\"
Itwasnot。Ihadgivenmyselfuptotheidlenessofahauntedmanwholooksfornothingbutwordswhereintocapturehisvisions。ButIadmitthatoutwardlyIresembledsufficientlyamanwhocouldmakeasecondofficerforasteamercharteredbyaFrenchcompany。IshowednosignofbeinghauntedbythefateofNinaandbythemurmursoftropicalforests;andevenmyintimateintercoursewithAlmayer（apersonofweakcharacter）hadnotputavisiblemarkuponmyfeatures。Formanyyearsheandtheworldofhisstoryhadbeenthecompanionsofmyimaginationwithout，I
hope，impairingmyabilitytodealwiththerealitiesofsealife。Ihadhadthemanandhissurroundingswithmeeversincemyreturnfromtheeasternwaters——somefouryearsbeforethedayofwhichIspeak。
Itwasinthefrontsitting-roomoffurnishedapartmentsinaPimlicosquarethattheyfirstbegantoliveagainwithavividnessandpoignancyquiteforeigntoourformerrealintercourse。Ihadbeentreatingmyselftoalongstayonshore，andinthenecessityofoccupyingmymorningsAlmayer（thatoldacquaintance）camenoblytotherescue。
Beforelong，aswasonlyproper，hiswifeanddaughterjoinedhimroundmytable，andthentherestofthatPantaibandcamefullofwordsandgestures。Unknowntomyrespectablelandlady，itwasmypracticedirectlyaftermybreakfasttoholdanimatedreceptionsofMalays，Arabs，andhalf-castes。Theydidnotclamouraloudformyattention。Theycamewithasilentandirresistibleappeal——andtheappeal，Iaffirmhere，wasnottomyself-loveormyvanity。Itseemsnowtohavehadamoralcharacter，forwhyshouldthememoryofthesebeings，seenintheirobscure，sun-bathedexistence，demandtoexpressitselfintheshapeofanovel，exceptonthegroundofthatmysteriousfellowshipwhichunitesinacommunityofhopesandfearsallthedwellersonthisearth？
Ididnotreceivemyvisitorswithboisterousraptureasthebearersofanygiftsofprofitorfame。TherewasnovisionofaprintedbookbeforemeasIsatwritingatthattable，situatedinadecayedpartofBelgravia。Afteralltheseyears，eachleavingitsevidenceofslowlyblackenedpages，Icanhonestlysaythatitisasentimentakintopitywhichpromptedmetorenderinwordsassembledwithconscientiouscarethememoryofthingsfardistantandofmenwhohadlived。
But，comingbacktoCaptainFroudandhisfixedideaofneverdisappointingshipownersorship-captains，itwasnotlikelythatIshouldfailhiminhisambition——tosatisfyatafewhours’noticetheunusualdemandforaFrench-speakingofficer。
HeexplainedtomethattheshipwascharteredbyaFrenchcompanyintendingtoestablisharegularmonthlylineofsailingsfromRouen，forthetransportofFrenchemigrantstoCanada。
But，frankly，thissortofthingdidnotinterestmeverymuch。
IsaidgravelythatifitwerereallyamatterofkeepingupthereputationoftheShipmasters’SocietyIwouldconsiderit。Buttheconsiderationwasjustforform’ssake。ThenextdayI
interviewedthecaptain，andIbelievewewereimpressedfavourablywitheachother。Heexplainedthathischiefmatewasanexcellentmanineveryrespectandthathecouldnotthinkofdismissinghimsoastogivemethehigherposition;butthatifIconsentedtocomeassecondofficerIwouldbegivencertainspecialadvantages——andsoon。
ItoldhimthatifIcameatalltherankreallydidnotmatter。
\"Iamsure，\"heinsisted，\"youwillgetonfirstratewithMr。
Paramor。\"
Ipromisedfaithfullytostayfortwotripsatleast，anditwasinthosecircumstancesthatwhatwastobemylastconnectionwithashipbegan。Andafteralltherewasnotevenonesingletrip。Itmaybethatitwassimplythefulfilmentofafate，ofthatwrittenwordonmyforeheadwhichapparentlyforbademe，throughallmyseawanderings，evertoachievethecrossingoftheWesternOcean——usingthewordsinthatspecialsenseinwhichsailorsspeakofWesternOceantrade，ofWesternOceanpackets，ofWesternOceanhardcases。Thenewlifeattendedcloselyupontheold，andtheninechaptersof\"Almayer’sFolly\"wentwithmetotheVictoriaDock，whenceinafewdayswestartedforRouen。
Iwon’tgosofarassayingthattheengagingofamanfatednevertocrosstheWesternOceanwastheabsolutecauseoftheFranco-CanadianTransportCompany’sfailuretoachieveevenasinglepassage。Itmighthavebeenthatofcourse;buttheobvious，grossobstaclewasclearlythewantofmoney。Fourhundredandsixtybunksforemigrantswereputtogetherinthe’tweendecksbyindustriouscarpenterswhilewelayintheVictoriaDock，butneveranemigrantturnedupinRouen——ofwhich，beingahumaneperson，IconfessIwasglad。SomegentlemenfromParis——Ithinktherewerethreeofthem，andonewassaidtobethechairman——turnedup，indeed，andwentfromendtoendoftheship，knockingtheirsilkhatscruellyagainstthedeckbeams。Iattendedthempersonally，andIcanvouchforitthattheinteresttheytookinthingswasintelligentenough，though，obviously，theyhadneverseenanythingofthesortbefore。Theirfacesastheywentashoreworeacheerfullyinconclusiveexpression。Notwithstandingthatthisinspectingceremonywassupposedtobeapreliminarytoimmediatesailing，itwasthen，astheyfileddownourgangway，thatIreceivedtheinwardmonitionthatnosailingwithinthemeaningofourcharterpartywouldevertakeplace。
Itmustbesaidthatinlessthanthreeweeksamovetookplace。
Whenwefirstarrivedwehadbeentakenupwithmuchceremonywelltowardthecentreofthetown，and，allthestreetcornersbeingplacardedwiththetricolorpostersannouncingthebirthofourcompany，thepetitbourgeoiswithhiswifeandfamilymadeaSundayholidayfromtheinspectionoftheship。IwasalwaysinevidenceinmybestuniformtogiveinformationasthoughIhadbeenaCook’stourists’interpreter，whileourquartermastersreapedaharvestofsmallchangefrompersonallyconductedparties。Butwhenthemovewasmade——thatmovewhichcarriedussomemileandahalfdownthestreamtobetieduptoanaltogethermuddierandshabbierquay——thenindeedthedesolationofsolitudebecameourlot。Itwasacompleteandsoundlessstagnation;foraswehadtheshipreadyforseatothesmallestdetail，asthefrostwashardandthedaysshort，wewereabsolutelyidle——idletothepointofblushingwithshamewhenthethoughtstruckusthatallthetimeoursalarieswenton。
YoungColewasaggrievedbecause，ashesaid，wecouldnotenjoyanysortoffunintheeveningafterloafinglikethisallday;
eventhebanjolostitscharmsincetherewasnothingtopreventhisstrummingonitallthetimebetweenthemeals。ThegoodParamor——hewasreallyamostexcellentfellow——becameunhappyasfaraswaspossibletohischeerynature，tillonedrearydayI
suggested，outofsheermischief，thatheshouldemploythedormantenergiesofthecrewinhaulingbothcablesupondeckandturningthemendforend。
ForamomentMr。Paramorwasradiant。\"Excellentidea！\"butdirectlyhisfacefell。\"Why……Yes！Butwecan’tmakethatjoblastmorethanthreedays，\"hemuttered，discontentedly。I
don’tknowhowlongheexpectedustobestuckontheriversideoutskirtsofRouen，butIknowthatthecablesgothauledupandturnedendforendaccordingtomysatanicsuggestion，putdownagain，andtheirveryexistenceutterlyforgotten，Ibelieve，beforeaFrenchriverpilotcameonboardtotakeourshipdown，emptyasshecame，intotheHavreroads。YoumaythinkthatthisstateofforcedidlenessfavouredsomeadvanceinthefortunesofAlmayerandhisdaughter。Yetitwasnotso。Asifitweresomesortofevilspell，mybanjoistcabinmate’sinterruption，asrelatedabove，hadarrestedthemshortatthepointofthatfatefulsunsetformanyweekstogether。Itwasalwaysthuswiththisbook，begunin’89andfinishedin’94——withthatshortestofallthenovelswhichitwastobemylottowrite。BetweenitsopeningexclamationcallingAlmayertohisdinnerinhiswife’svoiceandAbdullah’s（hisenemy）mentalreferencetotheGodofIslam——\"TheMerciful，theCompassionate\"——whichclosesthebook，thereweretocomeseverallongseapassages，avisit（tousetheelevatedphraseologysuitabletotheoccasion）tothescenes（someofthem）ofmychildhoodandtherealizationofchildhood’svainwords，expressingalight-heartedandromanticwhim。
Itwasin1868，whennineyearsoldorthereabouts，thatwhilelookingatamapofAfricaofthetimeandputtingmyfingerontheblankspacethenrepresentingtheunsolvedmysteryofthatcontinent，Isaidtomyself，withabsoluteassuranceandanamazingaudacitywhicharenolongerinmycharacternow：
\"WhenIgrowupIshallgoTHERE。\"
AndofcourseIthoughtnomoreaboutittillafteraquarterofacenturyorsoanopportunityofferedtogothere——asifthesinofchildishaudacityweretobevisitedonmymaturehead。Yes。
Ididgothere：THEREbeingtheregionofStanleyFalls，whichin’68wastheblankestofblankspacesontheearth’sfiguredsurface。AndtheMS。of\"Almayer’sFolly，\"carriedaboutmeasifitwereatalismanoratreasure，wentTHERE，too。ThatitevercameoutofTHEREseemsaspecialdispensationofProvidence，becauseagoodmanyofmyotherproperties，infinitelymorevaluableandusefultome，remainedbehindthroughunfortunateaccidentsoftransportation。Icalltomind，forinstance，aspeciallyawkwardturnoftheCongobetweenKinchassaandLeopoldsville——moreparticularlywhenonehadtotakeitatnightinabigcanoewithonlyhalfthepropernumberofpaddlers。Ifailedinbeingthesecondwhitemanonrecorddrownedatthatinterestingspotthroughtheupsettingofacanoe。ThefirstwasayoungBelgianofficer，buttheaccidenthappenedsomemonthsbeforemytime，andhe，too，Ibelieve，wasgoinghome;notperhapsquitesoillasmyself——butstillhewasgoinghome。Igotroundtheturnmoreorlessalive，thoughI
wastoosicktocarewhetherIdidornot，and，alwayswith\"Almayer’sFolly\"amongmydiminishingbaggage，Iarrivedatthatdelectablecapital，Boma，where，beforethedepartureofthesteamerwhichwastotakemehome，Ihadthetimetowishmyselfdeadoverandoveragainwithperfectsincerity。Atthatdatetherewereinexistenceonlysevenchaptersof\"Almayer’sFolly，\"
butthechapterinmyhistorywhichfollowedwasthatofalong，longillnessandverydismalconvalescence。Geneva，ormorepreciselythehydropathicestablishmentofChampel，isrenderedforeverfamousbytheterminationoftheeighthchapterinthehistoryofAlmayer’sdeclineandfall。Theeventsoftheninthareinextricablymixedupwiththedetailsofthepropermanagementofawatersidewarehouseownedbyacertaincityfirmwhosenamedoesnotmatter。Butthatwork，undertakentoaccustommyselfagaintotheactivitiesofahealthyexistence，sooncametoanend。Theearthhadnothingtoholdmewithforverylong。Andthenthatmemorablestory，likeacaskofchoiceMadeira，gotcarriedforthreeyearstoandfrouponthesea。
Whetherthistreatmentimproveditsflavourornot，ofcourseI
wouldnotliketosay。Asfarasappearanceisconcerneditcertainlydidnothingofthekind。ThewholeMS。acquiredafadedlookandanancient，yellowishcomplexion。ItbecameatlastunreasonabletosupposethatanythingintheworldwouldeverhappentoAlmayerandNina。Andyetsomethingmostunlikelytohappenonthehighseaswastowakethemupfromtheirstateofsuspendedanimation。
WhatisitthatNovalissays：\"Itiscertainmyconvictiongainsinfinitelythemomentanothersoulwillbelieveinit。\"Andwhatisanovelifnotaconvictionofourfellow-men’sexistencestrongenoughtotakeuponitselfaformofimaginedlifeclearerthanrealityandwhoseaccumulatedverisimilitudeofselectedepisodesputstoshametheprideofdocumentaryhistory。
ProvidencewhichsavedmyMS。fromtheCongorapidsbroughtittotheknowledgeofahelpfulsoulfaroutontheopensea。Itwouldbeonmypartthegreatestingratitudeevertoforgetthesallow，sunkenfaceandthedeep-set，darkeyesoftheyoungCambridgeman（hewasa\"passengerforhishealth\"onboardthegoodshipTorrensoutwardboundtoAustralia）whowasthefirstreaderof\"Almayer’sFolly\"——theveryfirstreaderIeverhad。
\"WoulditboreyouverymuchinreadingaMS。inahandwritinglikemine？\"Iaskedhimoneevening，onasuddenimpulseattheendofalongishconversationwhosesubjectwasGibbon’sHistory。
Jacques（thatwashisname）wassittinginmycabinonestormydog-watchbelow，afterbringmeabooktoreadfromhisowntravellingstore。
\"Notatall，\"heanswered，withhiscourteousintonationandafaintsmile。AsIpulledadraweropenhissuddenlyarousedcuriositygavehimawatchfulexpression。Iwonderwhatheexpectedtosee。Apoem，maybe。Allthat’sbeyondguessingnow。
Hewasnotacold，butacalmman，stillmoresubduedbydisease——amanoffewwordsandofanunassumingmodestyingeneralintercourse，butwithsomethinguncommoninthewholeofhispersonwhichsethimapartfromtheundistinguishedlotofoursixtypassengers。Hiseyeshadathoughtful，introspectivelook。Inhisattractivereservedmannerandinaveiledsympatheticvoiceheasked：
\"Whatisthis？\"\"Itisasortoftale，\"Ianswered，withaneffort。\"Itisnotevenfinishedyet。Nevertheless，Iwouldliketoknowwhatyouthinkofit。\"HeputtheMS。inthebreast-pocketofhisjacket;Irememberperfectlyhisthin，brownfingersfoldingitlengthwise。\"Iwillreaditto-morrow，\"heremarked，seizingthedoorhandle;andthenwatchingtherolloftheshipforapropitiousmoment，heopenedthedoorandwasgone。InthemomentofhisexitIheardthesustainedboomingofthewind，theswishofthewateronthedecksoftheTorrens，andthesubdued，asifdistant，roaroftherisingsea。Inotedthegrowingdisquietinthegreatrestlessnessoftheocean，andrespondedprofessionallytoitwiththethoughtthatateighto’clock，inanotherhalfhourorsoatthefarthest，thetopgallantsailswouldhavetocomeofftheship。
Nextday，butthistimeinthefirstdogwatch，Jacquesenteredmycabin。Hehadathickwoollenmufflerroundhisthroat，andtheMS。wasinhishand。Hetenderedittomewithasteadylook，butwithoutaword。Itookitinsilence。Hesatdownonthecouchandstillsaidnothing。Iopenedandshutadrawerundermydesk，onwhichafilled-uplog-slatelaywideopeninitswoodenframewaitingtobecopiedneatlyintothesortofbookIwasaccustomedtowritewithcare，theship’slog-book。I
turnedmybacksquarelyonthedesk。AndeventhenJacquesneverofferedaword。\"Well，whatdoyousay？\"Iaskedatlast。\"Isitworthfinishing？\"Thisquestionexpressedexactlythewholeofmythoughts。
\"Distinctly，\"heanswered，inhissedate，veiledvoice，andthencoughedalittle。
\"Wereyouinterested？\"Iinquiredfurther，almostinawhisper。
\"Verymuch！\"
InapauseIwentonmeetinginstinctivelytheheavyrollingoftheship，andJacquesputhisfeetuponthecouch。Thecurtainofmybed-placeswungtoandfroasifitwereapunkah，thebulkheadlampcircledinitsgimbals，andnowandthenthecabindoorrattledslightlyinthegustsofwind。Itwasinlatitude40south，andnearlyinthelongitudeofGreenwich，asfarasI
canremember，thatthesequietritesofAlmayer’sandNina’sresurrectionweretakingplace。Intheprolongedsilenceitoccurredtomethattherewasagooddealofretrospectivewritinginthestoryasfarasitwent。Wasitintelligibleinitsaction，Iaskedmyself，asifalreadythestory-tellerwerebeingbornintothebodyofaseaman。ButIheardondeckthewhistleoftheofficerofthewatchandremainedonthealerttocatchtheorderthatwastofollowthiscalltoattention。Itreachedmeasafaint，fierceshoutto\"Squaretheyards。\"\"Aha！\"
Ithoughttomyself，\"awesterlyblowcomingon。\"ThenIturnedtomyveryfirstreader，who，alas！wasnottolivelongenoughtoknowtheendofthetale。
\"Nowletmeaskyouonemorething：isthestoryquitecleartoyouasitstands？\"
Heraisedhisdark，gentleeyestomyfaceandseemedsurprised。
\"Yes！Perfectly。\"
ThiswasallIwastohearfromhislipsconcerningthemeritsof\"Almayer’sFolly。\"Weneverspoketogetherofthebookagain。A
longperiodofbadweathersetinandIhadnothoughtsleftbutformyduties，whilepoorJacquescaughtafatalcoldandhadtokeepcloseinhiscabin。WhenwearrivedinAdelaidethefirstreaderofmyprosewentatonceup-country，anddiedrathersuddenlyintheend，eitherinAustraliaoritmaybeonthepassagewhilegoinghomethroughtheSuezCanal。Iamnotsurewhichitwasnow，andIdonotthinkIeverheardprecisely;
thoughImadeinquiriesabouthimfromsomeofourreturnpassengerswho，wanderingaboutto\"seethecountry\"duringtheship’sstayinport，hadcomeuponhimhereandthere。Atlastwesailed，homewardbound，andstillnotonelinewasaddedtothecarelessscrawlofthemanypageswhichpoorJacqueshadhadthepatiencetoreadwiththeveryshadowsofEternitygatheringalreadyinthehollowsofhiskind，steadfasteyes。
Thepurposeinstilledintomebyhissimpleandfinal\"Distinctly\"remaineddormant，yetalivetoawaititsopportunity。IdaresayIamcompelled——unconsciouslycompelled——nowtowritevolumeaftervolume，asinpastyearsI
wascompelledtogotoseavoyageaftervoyage。Leavesmustfollowupononeanotherasleaguesusedtofollowinthedaysgoneby，onandontotheappointedend，which，beingTruthitself，isOne——oneforallmenandforalloccupations。
Idonotknowwhichofthetwoimpulseshasappearedmoremysteriousandmorewonderfultome。Still，inwriting，asingoingtosea，Ihadtowaitmyopportunity。LetmeconfessherethatIwasneveroneofthosewonderfulfellowsthatwouldgoafloatinawash-tubforthesakeofthefun，andifImaypridemyselfuponmyconsistency，itwaseverjustthesamewithmywriting。Somemen，Ihaveheard，writeinrailwaycarriages，andcoulddoit，perhaps，sittingcrossed-leggedonaclothes-line;
butImustconfessthatmysybariticdispositionwillnotconsenttowritewithoutsomethingatleastresemblingachair。Linebyline，ratherthanpagebypage，wasthegrowthof\"Almayer’sFolly。\"
AndsoithappenedthatIverynearlylosttheMS。，advancednowtothefirstwordsoftheninthchapter，intheFriedrichstrassePoland，ormorepreciselytoUkraine。Onanearly，sleepymorningchangingtrainsinahurryIleftmyGladstonebaginarefreshment-room。AworthyandintelligentKoffertragerrescuedit。YetinmyanxietyIwasnotthinkingoftheMS。，butofalltheotherthingsthatwerepackedinthebag。
InWarsaw，whereIspenttwodays，thosewanderingpageswereneverexposedtothelight，exceptoncetocandle-light，whilethebaglayopenonthechair。Iwasdressinghurriedlytodineatasportingclub。Afriendofmychildhood（hehadbeenintheDiplomaticService，buthadturnedtogrowingwheatonpaternalacres，andwehadnotseeneachotherforovertwentyyears）wassittingonthehotelsofawaitingtocarrymeoffthere。
\"Youmighttellmesomethingofyourlifewhileyouaredressing，\"hesuggested，kindly。
IdonotthinkItoldhimmuchofmylifestoryeitherthenorlater。Thetalkoftheselectlittlepartywithwhichhemademedinewasextremelyanimatedandembracedmostsubjectsunderheaven，frombig-gameshootinginAfricatothelastpoempublishedinaverymodernistreview，editedbytheveryyoungandpatronizedbythehighestsociety。Butitnevertouchedupon\"Almayer’sFolly，\"andnextmorning，inuninterruptedobscurity，thisinseparablecompanionwentonrollingwithmeinthesoutheastdirectiontowardthegovernmentofKiev。
Atthattimetherewasaneighthours’drive，ifnotmore，fromtherailwaystationtothecountry-housewhichwasmydestination。
\"Dearboy\"（thesewordswerealwayswritteninEnglish），soranthelastletterfromthathousereceivedinLondon——\"Getyourselfdriventotheonlyinnintheplace，dineaswellasyoucan，andsometimeintheeveningmyownconfidentialservant，factotumandmajordomo，aMr。V。S。（Iwarnyouheisofnobleextraction），willpresenthimselfbeforeyou，reportingthearrivalofthesmallsledgewhichwilltakeyouhereonthenextday。Isendwithhimmyheaviestfur，whichIsupposewithsuchovercoatsasyoumayhavewithyouwillkeepyoufromfreezingontheroad。\"
Sureenough，asIwasdining，servedbyaHebrewwaiter，inanenormousbarn-likebedroomwithafreshlypaintedfloor，thedooropenedand，inatravellingcostumeoflongboots，bigsheepskincap，andashortcoatgirtwithaleatherbelt，theMr。V。S。（ofnobleextraction），amanofaboutthirty-five，appearedwithanairofperplexityonhisopenandmustachedcountenance。IgotupfromthetableandgreetedhiminPolish，with，Ihope，therightshadeofconsiderationdemandedbyhisnoblebloodandhisconfidentialposition。Hisfaceclearedupinawonderfulway。
Itappearedthat，notwithstandingmyuncle’searnestassurances，thegoodfellowhadremainedindoubtofourunderstandingeachother。HeimaginedIwouldtalktohiminsomeforeignlanguage。
Iwastoldthathislastwordsongettingintothesledgetocometomeetmeshapedananxiousexclamation：
\"Well！Well！HereIamgoing，butGodonlyknowshowIamtomakemyselfunderstoodtoourmaster’snephew。\"
Weunderstoodeachotherverywellfromthefirst。HetookchargeofmeasifIwerenotquiteofage。Ihadadelightfulboyishfeelingofcominghomefromschoolwhenhemuffledmeupnextmorninginanenormousbearskintravelling-coatandtookhisseatprotectivelybymyside。Thesledgewasaverysmallone，anditlookedutterlyinsignificant，almostlikeatoybehindthefourbigbaysharnessedtwoandtwo。Wethree，countingthecoachman，filleditcompletely。Hewasayoungfellowwithclearblueeyes;thehighcollarofhisliveryfurcoatframedhischeerycountenanceandstoodallroundlevelwiththetopofhishead。
\"Now，Joseph，\"mycompanionaddressedhim，\"doyouthinkweshallmanagetogethomebeforesix？\"Hisanswerwasthatwewouldsurely，withGod’shelp，andprovidingtherewerenoheavydriftsinthelongstretchbetweencertainvillageswhosenamescamewithanextremelyfamiliarsoundtomyears。Heturnedoutanexcellentcoachman，withaninstinctforkeepingtheroadamongthesnow-coveredfieldsandanaturalgiftofgettingthebestoutofhishorses。
\"HeisthesonofthatJosephthatIsupposetheCaptainremembers。HewhousedtodrivetheCaptain’slategrandmotherofholymemory，\"remarkedV。S。，busytuckingfurrugsaboutmyfeet。
IrememberedperfectlythetrustyJosephwhousedtodrivemygrandmother。Why！heitwaswholetmeholdthereinsforthefirsttimeinmylifeandallowedmetoplaywiththegreatfour-in-handwhipoutsidethedoorsofthecoach-house。
\"Whatbecameofhim？\"Iasked。\"Heisnolongerserving，I
suppose。\"
\"Heservedourmaster，\"wasthereply。\"Buthediedofcholeratenyearsagonow——thatgreatepidemicthatwehad。Andhiswifediedatthesametime——thewholehousefulofthem，andthisistheonlyboythatwasleft。\"
TheMS。of\"Almayer’sFolly\"wasreposinginthebagunderourfeet。
IsawagainthesunsettingontheplainsasIsawitinthetravelsofmychildhood。Itset，clearandred，dippingintothesnowinfullviewasifitweresettingonthesea。Itwastwenty-threeyearssinceIhadseenthesunsetoverthatland;
andwedroveoninthedarknesswhichfellswiftlyuponthelividexpanseofsnowstill，outofthewasteofawhiteearthjoiningabestarredsky，surgedupblackshapes，theclumpsoftreesaboutavillageoftheUkrainianplain。Acottageortwoglidedby，alowinterminablewall，andthen，glimmeringandwinkingthroughascreenoffir-trees，thelightsofthemaster’shouse。
ThatveryeveningthewanderingMS。of\"Almayer’sFolly\"wasunpackedandunostentatiouslylaidonthewriting-tableinmyroom，theguest-roomwhichhadbeen，Iwasinformedinanaffectionatelycarelesstone，awaitingmeforsomefifteenyearsorso。Itattractednoattentionfromtheaffectionatepresencehoveringroundthesonofthefavouritesister。
\"Youwon’thavemanyhourstoyourselfwhileyouarestayingwithme，brother，\"hesaid——thisformofaddressborrowedfromthespeechofourpeasantsbeingtheusualexpressionofthehighestgoodhumourinamomentofaffectionateelation。\"Ishallbealwayscominginforachat。\"
Asamatteroffact，wehadthewholehousetochatin，andwereeverlastinglyintrudinguponeachother。Iinvadedtheretirementofhisstudywheretheprincipalfeaturewasacolossalsilverinkstandpresentedtohimonhisfiftiethyearbyasubscriptionofallhiswardsthenliving。Hehadbeenguardianofmanyorphansofland-owningfamiliesfromthethreesouthernprovinces——eversincetheyear1860。Someofthemhadbeenmyschoolfellowsandplaymates，butnotoneofthem，girlsorboys，thatIknowofhaseverwrittenanovel。Oneortwowereolderthanmyself——considerablyolder，too。Oneofthem，avisitorIrememberinmyearlyyears，wasthemanwhofirstputmeonhorseback，andhisfour-horsebachelorturnout，hisperfecthorsemanshipandgeneralskillinmanlyexercises，wasoneofmyearliestadmirations。Iseemtoremembermymotherlookingonfromacolonnadeinfrontofthedining-roomwindowsasIwaslifteduponthepony，held，forallIknow，bytheveryJoseph——
thegroomattachedspeciallytomygrandmother’sservice——whodiedofcholera。Itwascertainlyayoungmaninadark-blue，taillesscoatandhugeCossacktrousers，thatbeingtheliveryofthemenaboutthestables。Itmusthavebeenin1864，butreckoningbyanothermodeofcalculatingtime，itwascertainlyintheyearinwhichmymotherobtainedpermissiontotravelsouthandvisitherfamily，fromtheexileintowhichshehadfollowedmyfather。Forthat，too，shehadhadtoaskpermission，andIknowthatoneoftheconditionsofthatfavourwasthatsheshouldbetreatedexactlyasacondemnedexileherself。Yetacoupleofyearslater，inmemoryofhereldestbrother，whohadservedintheGuardsanddyingearlylefthostsoffriendsandalovedmemoryinthegreatworldofSt。
Petersburg，someinfluentialpersonagesprocuredforherthispermission——itwasofficiallycalledthe\"HighestGrace\"——ofafourmonths’leavefromexile。
ThisisalsotheyearinwhichIfirstbegintoremembermymotherwithmoredistinctnessthanamereloving，wide-browed，silent，protectingpresence，whoseeyeshadasortofcommandingsweetness;andIalsorememberthegreatgatheringofalltherelationsfromnearandfar，andthegrayheadsofthefamilyfriendspayingherthehomageofrespectandloveinthehouseofherfavouritebrother，who，afewyearslater，wastotaketheplaceformeofbothmyparents。
Ididnotunderstandthetragicsignificanceofitallatthetime，though，indeed，Irememberthatdoctorsalsocame。Therewerenosignsofinvalidismabouther——butIthinkthatalreadytheyhadpronouncedherdoomunlessperhapsthechangetoasouthernclimatecouldre-establishherdecliningstrength。Formeitseemstheveryhappiestperiodofmyexistence。Therewasmycousin，adelightful，quick-temperedlittlegirl，somemonthsyoungerthanmyself，whoselife，lovinglywatchedoverasifshewerearoyalprincess，cametoanendwithherfifteenthyear。
Therewereotherchildren，too，manyofwhomaredeadnow，andnotafewwhoseverynamesIhaveforgotten。OverallthishungtheoppressiveshadowofthegreatRussianempire——theshadowloweringwiththedarknessofanew-bornnationalhatredfosteredbytheMoscowschoolofjournalistsagainstthePolesaftertheill-omenedrisingof1863。
ThisisafarcrybackfromtheMS。of\"Almayer’sFolly，\"butthepublicrecordoftheseformativeimpressionsisnotthewhimofanuneasyegotism。These，too，arethingshuman，alreadydistantintheirappeal。Itismeetthatsomethingmoreshouldbeleftforthenovelist’schildrenthanthecoloursandfiguresofhisownhard-woncreation。Thatwhichintheirgrown-upyearsmayappeartotheworldaboutthemasthemostenigmaticsideoftheirnaturesandperhapsmustremainforeverobscureeventothemselves，willbetheirunconsciousresponsetothestillvoiceofthatinexorablepastfromwhichhisworkoffictionandtheirpersonalitiesareremotelyderived。
Onlyinmen’simaginationdoeseverytruthfindaneffectiveandundeniableexistence。Imagination，notinvention，isthesuprememasterofartasoflife。Animaginativeandexactrenderingofauthenticmemoriesmayserveworthilythatspiritofpietytowardallthingshumanwhichsanctionstheconceptionsofawriteroftales，andtheemotionsofthemanreviewinghisownexperience。
II
AsIhavesaid，IwasunpackingmyluggageafterajourneyfromLondonintoUkraine。TheMS。of\"Almayer’sFolly\"——mycompanionalreadyforsomethreeyearsormore，andthenintheninthchapterofitsage——wasdepositedunostentatiouslyonthewriting-tableplacedbetweentwowindows。Itdidn’toccurtometoputitawayinthedrawerthetablewasfittedwith，butmyeyewasattractedbythegoodformofthesamedrawer’sbrasshandles。Twocandelabra，withfourcandleseach，lightedupfestallytheroomwhichhadwaitedsomanyyearsforthewanderingnephew。Theblindsweredown。
WithinfivehundredyardsofthechaironwhichIsatstoodthefirstpeasanthutofthevillage——partofmymaternalgrandfather’sestate，theonlypartremaininginthepossessionofamemberofthefamily;andbeyondthevillageinthelimitlessblacknessofawinter’snighttherelaythegreatunfencedfields——notaflatandsevereplain，butakindlybread-
givinglandoflowroundedridges，allwhitenow，withtheblackpatchesoftimbernestlinginthehollows。TheroadbywhichI
hadcomeranthroughthevillagewithaturnjustoutsidethegatesclosingtheshortdrive。Somebodywasabroadonthedeepsnowtrack;aquicktinkleofbellsstolegraduallyintothestillnessoftheroomlikeatunefulwhisper。
Myunpackinghadbeenwatchedoverbytheservantwhohadcometohelpme，and，forthemostpart，hadbeenstandingattentivebutunnecessaryatthedooroftheroom。Ididnotwanthimintheleast，butIdidnotliketotellhimtogoaway。Hewasayoungfellow，certainlymorethantenyearsyoungerthanmyself;Ihadnotbeen——Iwon’tsayinthatplace，butwithinsixtymilesofit，eversincetheyear’67;yethisguilelessphysiognomyoftheopenpeasanttypeseemedstrangelyfamiliar。Itwasquitepossiblethathemighthavebeenadescendant，ason，orevenagrandson，oftheservantswhosefriendlyfaceshadbeenfamiliartomeinmyearlychildhood。Asamatteroffacthehadnosuchclaimonmyconsideration。Hewastheproductofsomevillagenearbyandwasthereonhispromotion，havinglearnedtheserviceinoneortwohousesaspantryboy。IknowthisbecauseIaskedtheworthyV————nextday。Imightwellhavesparedthequestion。Idiscoveredbeforelongthatallthefacesaboutthehouseandallthefacesinthevillage：thegravefaceswithlongmustachesoftheheadsoffamilies，thedownyfacesoftheyoungmen，thefacesofthelittlefair-hairedchildren，thehandsome，tanned，wide-browedfacesofthemothersseenatthedoorsofthehuts，wereasfamiliartomeasthoughIhadknownthemallfromchildhoodandmychildhoodwereamatterofthedaybeforeyesterday。
Thetinkleofthetraveller’sbells，aftergrowinglouder，hadfadedawayquickly，andthetumultofbarkingdogsinthevillagehadcalmeddownatlast。Myuncle，lounginginthecornerofasmallcouch，smokedhislongTurkishchiboukinsilence。
\"Thisisanextremelynicewriting-tableyouhavegotformyroom，\"Iremarked。
\"Itisreallyyourproperty，\"hesaid，keepinghiseyesonme，withaninterestedandwistfulexpression，ashehaddoneeversinceIhadenteredthehouse。\"Fortyyearsagoyourmotherusedtowriteatthisverytable。InourhouseinOratow，itstoodinthelittlesitting-roomwhich，byatacitarrangement，wasgivenuptothegirls——Imeantoyourmotherandhersisterwhodiedsoyoung。ItwasapresenttothemjointlyfromyouruncleNicholasB。whenyourmotherwasseventeenandyouraunttwoyearsyounger。Shewasaverydear，delightfulgirl，thatauntofyours，ofwhomIsupposeyouknownothingmorethanthename。
Shedidnotshinesomuchbypersonalbeautyandacultivatedmindinwhichyourmotherwasfarsuperior。Itwashergoodsense，theadmirablesweetnessofhernature，herexceptionalfacilityandeaseindailyrelations，thatendearedhertoeverybody。Herdeathwasaterriblegriefandaseriousmorallossforusall。Hadshelivedshewouldhavebroughtthegreatestblessingstothehouseitwouldhavebeenherlottoenter，aswife，mother，andmistressofahousehold。Shewouldhavecreatedroundherselfanatmosphereofpeaceandcontentwhichonlythosewhocanloveunselfishlyareabletoevoke。Yourmother——offargreaterbeauty，exceptionallydistinguishedinperson，manner，andintellect——hadalesseasydisposition。
Beingmorebrilliantlygifted，shealsoexpectedmorefromlife。
Atthattryingtimeespecially，weweregreatlyconcernedaboutherstate。Sufferinginherhealthfromtheshockofherfather’sdeath（shewasaloneinthehousewithhimwhenhediedsuddenly），shewastornbytheinwardstrugglebetweenherloveforthemanwhomshewastomarryintheendandherknowledgeofherdeadfather’sdeclaredobjectiontothatmatch。Unabletobringherselftodisregardthatcherishedmemoryandthatjudgmentshehadalwaysrespectedandtrusted，and，ontheotherhand，feelingtheimpossibilitytoresistasentimentsodeepandsotrue，shecouldnothavebeenexpectedtopreservehermentalandmoralbalance。Atwarwithherself，shecouldnotgivetoothersthatfeelingofpeacewhichwasnotherown。Itwasonlylater，whenunitedatlastwiththemanofherchoice，thatshedevelopedthoseuncommongiftsofmindandheartwhichcompelledtherespectandadmirationevenofourfoes。Meetingwithcalmfortitudethecrueltrialsofalifereflectingallthenationalandsocialmisfortunesofthecommunity，sherealizedthehighestconceptionsofdutyasawife，amother，andapatriot，sharingtheexileofherhusbandandrepresentingnoblytheidealofPolishwomanhood。OuruncleNicholaswasnotamanveryaccessibletofeelingsofaffection。ApartfromhisworshipforNapoleontheGreat，helovedreally，Ibelieve，onlythreepeopleintheworld：hismother——yourgreat-grandmother，whomyouhaveseenbutcannotpossiblyremember;hisbrother，ourfather，inwhosehousehelivedforsomanyyears;andofallofus，hisnephewsandniecesgrownuparoundhim，yourmotheralone。Themodest，lovablequalitiesoftheyoungestsisterhedidnotseemabletosee。ItwasIwhofeltmostprofoundlythisunexpectedstrokeofdeathfallinguponthefamilylessthanayearafterI
hadbecomeitshead。Itwasterriblyunexpected。Drivinghomeonewintryafternoontokeepmecompanyinouremptyhouse，whereIhadtoremainpermanentlyadministeringtheestateandattendingtothecomplicatedaffairs——（thegirlstookitinturnweekandweekabout）——driving，asIsaid，fromthehouseoftheCountessTeklaPotocka，whereourinvalidmotherwasstayingthentobenearadoctor，theylosttheroadandgotstuckinasnowdrift。ShewasalonewiththecoachmanandoldValery，thepersonalservantofourlatefather。Impatientofdelaywhiletheyweretryingtodigthemselvesout，shejumpedoutofthesledgeandwenttolookfortheroadherself。Allthishappenedin’51，nottenmilesfromthehouseinwhichwearesittingnow。
Theroadwassoonfound，butsnowhadbeguntofallthicklyagain，andtheywerefourmorehoursgettinghome。Boththementookofftheirsheepskinlinedgreatcoatsandusedalltheirownrugstowrapherupagainstthecold，notwithstandingherprotests，positiveorders，andevenstruggles，asValeryafterwardrelatedtome。’HowcouldI，’heremonstratedwithher，’gotomeettheblessedsoulofmylatemasterifIletanyharmcometoyouwhilethere’sasparkoflifeleftinmybody？’
Whentheyreachedhomeatlastthepooroldmanwasstiffandspeechlessfromexposure，andthecoachmanwasinnotmuchbetterplight，thoughhehadthestrengthtodriveroundtothestableshimself。Tomyreproachesforventuringoutatallinsuchweather，sheanswered，characteristically，thatshecouldnotbearthethoughtofabandoningmetomycheerlesssolitude。Itisincomprehensiblehowitwasthatshewasallowedtostart。I
supposeithadtobe！Shemadelightofthecoughwhichcameonnextday，butshortlyafterwardinflammationofthelungssetin，andinthreeweeksshewasnomore！Shewasthefirsttobetakenawayoftheyounggenerationundermycare。Beholdthevanityofallhopesandfears！Iwasthemostfrailatbirthofallthechildren。ForyearsIremainedsodelicatethatmyparentshadbutlittlehopeofbringingmeup;andyetIhavesurvivedfivebrothersandtwosisters，andmanyofmycontemporaries;Ihaveoutlivedmywifeanddaughter，too——andfromallthosewhohavehadsomeknowledgeatleastoftheseoldtimesyoualoneareleft。Ithasbeenmylottolayinanearlygravemanyhonesthearts，manybrilliantpromises，manyhopesfulloflife。\"
Hegotupbriskly，sighed，andleftmesaying，\"Wewilldineinhalfanhour。\"
Withoutmoving，Ilistenedtohisquickstepsresoundingonthewaxedfloorofthenextroom，traversingtheanteroomlinedwithbookshelves，wherehepausedtoputhischiboukinthepipe-standbeforepassingintothedrawing-room（thesewereallensuite），wherehebecameinaudibleonthethickcarpet。ButIheardthedoorofhisstudy-bedroomclose。Hewasthensixty-twoyearsoldandhadbeenforaquarterofacenturythewisest，thefirmest，themostindulgentofguardians，extendingovermeapaternalcareandaffection，amoralsupportwhichIseemedtofeelalwaysnearmeinthemostdistantpartsoftheearth。