Aftersittingalittlewhilewithherguests，notunderstandingawordtheyweresaying，sheslippedoutandwenttothenursery。
ThechildrenweresittingonchairsplayingatdrivingtoMoscow，andinvitedhertojointhem。Shesatdownandplayedwiththem，butthethoughtofherhusbandandhiscauselessill-temperworriedherallthetime。Shegotup，andwalkedwithdifficultyontiptoetothelittledivan-room
‘‘Perhapsheisnotasleep。Iwillspeakplainlytohim，’’shesaidtoherself。Andryusha，herelderboy，followedherontiptoe，imitatingher。Hismotherdidnotnoticehim。
‘‘DearMarie，Ibelieveheisasleep;hewassotired，’’saidSonya，meetingherinthenextroom（itseemedtoCountessMaryathatshewaseverywhere）。‘‘Andryushahadbetternotwakehim。’’
CountessMaryalookedround，sawAndryushabehindher，feltthatSonyawasright，andforthatveryreasonflushedangrily，andwithevidentdifficultyrestrainedherselffromacruelretort。Shesaidnothing，and，soasnottoobeyher，letAndryushafollowher，butsignedtohimtobequiet，andwentuptothedoor。Sonyawentoutbytheotherdoor。FromtheroomwhereNikolaywasasleep，hiswifecouldhearhisevenbreathing，everytoneofwhichwassofamiliar。Asshelistenedtoit，shecouldseehissmooth，handsomebrow，hismoustaches，thewholefaceshehadsooftengazedatinthestillnessofthenightwhenhewasasleep。Nikolaysuddenlystirredandclearedhisthroat。AndatthesameinstantAndryushashoutedfromthedoor，‘‘Papa，mamma’shere！’’Hismotherturnedpalewithdismayandmadesignstotheboy。Hewasquiet，andtherefollowedaterriblesilencethatlastedaminute。SheknewhowNikolaydislikedbeingwaked。Suddenlysheheardhimstirandclearhisthroatagain，andinatoneofdispleasurehesaid：
‘‘I’mnevergivenamoment’speace。Marie，isityou？Whydidyoubringhimhere？’’
‘‘Ionlycametolook…Ididnotsee…I’msosorry…’’
Nikolaycoughedandsaidnomore。Hiswifewentaway，andtookhersonbacktothenursery。Fiveminuteslaterlittle，black-eyed，three-year-oldNatasha，herfather’sfavourite，hearingfromherbrotherthatpapawasasleep，andmammainthenextroom，ranintoherfather，unnoticedbyhermother。
Theblack-eyedlittlegirlboldlyrattledatthedoor，andherfat，littlefeetranwithvigorousstepsuptothesofa。Afterexaminingthepositionofherfather，whowasasleepwithhisbacktoher，shestoodontiptoeandkissedthehandthatlayunderhishead。Nikolayturnedroundtoherwithasmileoftendernessonhisface。
‘‘Natasha，Natasha！’’heheardhiswifewhisperindismayfromthedoor。‘‘Papaissleepy。’’
‘‘No，mamma，heisn’tsleepy，’’littleNatashaansweredwithconviction。‘‘He’slaughing。’’
Nikolaysethisfeetdown，gotup，andpickedhislittledaughterupinhisarms。
‘‘Comein，Masha，’’hesaidtohiswife。Shewentinandsatdownbesidehim。
‘‘Ididnotseehimruninafterme，’’shesaidtimidly。‘‘Ijustlookedin…’’
Holdinghislittlegirlononearm，Nikolaylookedathiswife，andnoticingherguiltyexpression，heputtheotherarmroundherandkissedheronthehair。
‘‘MayIkissmamma？’’heaskedNatasha。Thelittlegirlsmileddemurely。‘‘Again，’’shesaid，withaperemptorygesture，pointingtothespotwhereNikolayhadkissedhermother。
‘‘Idon’tknowwhyyoushouldthinkIamcross，’’saidNikolay，replyingtothequestionwhichheknewwasinhiswife’sheart。
‘‘Youcan’timaginehowunhappy，howlonely，Iamwhenyouarelikethat。Italwaysseemstome…’’
‘‘Marie，hush，nonsense！Yououghttobeashamed，’’hesaidgaily。
‘‘Itseemstomethatyoucan’tcareforme;thatIamsougly…atalltimes，andnowinthis…’’
‘‘Oh，howabsurdyouare！It’snotthosewhoarehandsomewelove，butthosewelovewhoarehandsome。ItisonlyMalvinasandsuchheroineswhoarelovedbecausetheyarebeautiful。AnddoyousupposeIlovemywife？Ohno，Idon’tloveyou，butonly…Idon’tknowhowtotellyou。Whenyouareaway，andanymisunderstandinglikethiscomesbetweenus，IfeelasthoughIwerelost，andcandonothing。Why，doIlovemyfinger？Idon’tloveit，butonlytrycuttingitoff…’’
‘‘No，Idon’tfeellikethat，butIunderstand。Thenyouarenotangrywithme？’’
‘‘Iamawfullyangry！’’hesaid，smiling，andgettingup，andsmoothinghishair，hebeganpacingupanddowntheroom。
‘‘Doyouknow，Marie，whatIhavebeenthinking？’’hebegan，beginningatoncenowthatpeacewasmadebetweenthem，thinkingaloudbeforehiswife。Hedidnotinquirewhethersheweredisposedtolisten;thatdidnotmattertohim。Anideaoccurredtohim;andsoitmusttoher，too。AndhetoldherthathemeanttopersuadePierretostaywiththemtillthespring。
CountessMaryalistenedtohim，madesomecomments，andtheninherturnbeganthinkingherthoughtsaloud。Herthoughtswereofthechildren。
‘‘Howonecanseethewomaninheralready，’’shesaidinFrench，pointingtolittleNatasha。‘‘Youreproachuswomenforbeingillogical。Youseeinherourlogic。Isay，papaissleepy，andshesays，no，he’slaughing。Andsheisright，’’saidCountessMarya，smilingblissfully。
‘‘Yes，yes，’’saidNikolay，liftinguphislittlegirlinhisstrongarm，raisedherhighintheair，satheronhisshoulder，holdingherlittlefeet，andbeganwalkingupanddownwithher。Therewasjustthesamelookofthoughtlesshappinessonthefacesoffatheranddaughter。
‘‘Butdoyouknow，youmaybeunfair。Youaretoofondofthisone，’’hiswifewhisperedinFrench。
‘‘Yes，butwhatcanIdo？…Itrynottoshowit…’’
Atthatmomenttherewasheardfromthehallandthevestibulethesoundoftheblockofthedoor，andfootsteps，asthoughsomeonehadarrived。
‘‘Somebodyhascome。’’
‘‘IamsureitisPierre。Iwillgoandfindout，’’saidCountessMarya，andshewentoutoftheroom。
WhileshewasgoneNikolayallowedhimselftogalloproundtheroomwithhislittlegirl。Pantingforbreath，hequicklyloweredthelaughingchild，andhuggedhertohisbreast。Hiscapersmadehimthinkofdancing;andlookingatthechildish，round，happylittleface，hewonderedwhatshewouldbelikewhenhewouldbeanoldman，takingherouttodances，andherememberedhowhisfatherusedtodanceDanielCooperandthemazurkawithhisdaughter。
‘‘Itishe，itishe，Nikolay！’’saidCountessMarya，returningafewminuteslater。‘‘NowourNatashaisherselfagain。Youshouldhaveseenherdelight，andwhatascoldinghecameinforatonceforhavingout-stayedhistime。Come，letusgo;makehaste;comealong！Youmustpartatlast，’’shesaid，smiling，asshelookedatthelittlegirlnestlinguptoherfather。Nikolaywentout，holdinghisdaughterbythehand。
CountessMaryalingeredbehind。
‘‘Never，nevercouldIhavebelieved，’’shemurmuredtoherself，‘‘thatonecouldbesohappy。’’Herfacelightedupwithasmile;butatthesamemomentshesighed，andasoftmelancholycameintoherthoughtfulglance。Itwasasthough，apartfromthehappinessshewasfeelingtherewasanotherhappinessunattainableinthislife，whichshecouldnothelprememberingatthatmoment。
Chapter10
NATASHAwasmarriedintheearlyspringof1813，andby1820shehadthreedaughtersandason。Thelatterhadbeeneagerlydesired，andshewasnownursinghimherself。Shehadgrownstouterandbroader，sothatitwashardtorecogniseintherobust-lookingyoungmothertheslim，mobileNatashaofolddays。Herfeatureshadbecomemoredefined，andworeanexpressionofcalmsoftnessandserenity。Herfacehadnolongerthatever-glowingfireofeagernessthathadonceconstitutedherchiefcharm。Now，oftenherfaceandbodywereallthatwastobeseen，andthesoulwasnotvisibleatall。Alltherewastobeseeninherwasavigorous，handsome，andfruitfulmother。Onlyonrareoccasionsnowtheoldfireglowedinheragain。Thathappenedonlywhen，asnow，herhusbandreturnedafterabsence，whenasickchildrecovered，orwhenshespoketoCountessMaryaofPrinceAndrey（toherhusbandsheneverspokeofPrinceAndrey，fancyinghemightbejealousofherloveforhim），orontherareoccasionswhensomethinghappenedtoattracthertohersinging，whichshehadentirelylaidasidesincehermarriage。Andatthoseraremoments，whentheoldfireglowedagain，shewasmoreattractive，withherhandsome，fully-developedfigure，thanshehadeverbeeninthepast。
SincehermarriageNatashaandherhusbandhadlivedinMoscow，inPetersburg，ontheirestatenearMoscow，andathermother’s;thatistosay，atNikolay’s。TheyoungCountessBezuhovwaslittleseeninsociety，andthosewhohadseenhertherewerenotgreatlypleasedwithher。Shewasneithercharmingnoramiable。ItwasnotthatNatashawasfondofsolitude（shecouldnothavesaidwhethershelikeditornot;sherathersupposedindeedthatshedidnot）;butasshewasbearingandnursingchildren，andtakinginterestineveryminuteofherhusband’slife，shecouldnotmeetallthesedemandsonherexceptbyrenouncingsociety。EveryonewhohadknownNatashabeforehermarriagemarvelledatthechangethathadtakenplaceinher，asthoughitweresomethingextraordinary。Onlytheoldcountess，withhermother’sinsight，hadseenthatwhatwasattherootofallNatasha’swildoutburstsoffeelingwassimplytheneedofchildrenandahusbandofherown，assheoftenusedtodeclare，moreinearnestthaninjoke，atOtradnoe。ThemotherwassurprisedatthewonderofpeoplewhodidnotunderstandNatasha，andrepeatedthatshehadalwaysknownthatshewouldmakeanexemplarywifeandmother。
‘‘Onlyshedoescarryherdevotiontoherhusbandandchildrentoanextreme，’’thecountesswouldsay;‘‘somuchso，thatit’spositivelyfoolish。’’
Natashadidnotfollowthegoldenrulepreachedbysomanyprudentpersons，especiallybytheFrench，thatrecommendsthatagirlonmarryingshouldnotneglectherself，shouldnotgiveupheraccomplishments，shouldthinkevenmoreofherappearancethanwhenayounggirl，andshouldtrytofascinateherhusbandasshehadfascinatedhimbeforehewasherhusband。Natasha，onthecontrary，hadatonceabandonedallheraccomplishments，ofwhichthegreatestwashersinging。Shegavethatupjustbecauseitwassuchagreatattraction。Natashatroubledherselflittleaboutmannersordelicacyofspeech;nordidshethinkofshowingherselftoherhusbandinthemostbecomingattitudesandcostumes，norstrivetoavoidworryinghimbybeingover-exacting。Sheactedindirectcontraventionofallthoserules。Shefeltthattheartsofattractionthatinstincthadtaughthertousebeforewouldnowhaveseemedonlyludicroustoherhusband，towhomshehadfromthefirstmomentgivenherselfupentirely，thatiswithherwholesoul，notkeepingasinglecornerofithiddenfromhim。Shefeltthatthetiethatboundhertoherhusbanddidnotrestonthoseromanticfeelingswhichhadattractedhimtoher，butrestedonsomethingelseundefined，butasstrongasthetiethatboundhersoultoherbody。
Tocurlherhair，putonacrinoline，andsingsongstoattractherhusbandwouldhaveseemedtoherasstrangeastodeckherselfupsoastopleaseherself。Toadornherselftopleaseothersmightperhapshavebeenagreeabletoher—shedidnotknow—butshehadabsolutelynotimeforit。Thechiefreasonwhyshecouldnotattendtohersinging，nortoherdress，nortothecarefulchoiceofherwordswasthatshesimplyhadnotimetothinkofthosethings。
Itiswellknownthatmanhasthefacultyofentireabsorptioninonesubject，howevertrivialthatsubjectmayappeartobe。Anditiswellknownthatthereisnosubjectsotrivialthatitwillnotgrowtoindefiniteproportionsifconcentratedattentionbedevotedtoit。
ThesubjectinwhichNatashawascompletelyabsorbedwasherfamily，thatis，herhusband，whomshekeptsuchaholdonsothatheshouldbelongentirelytoher，tohishomeandherchildren，whomshehadtocarry，tobear，tonurseandtobringup。
Andthemoresheput，nothermindonly，butherwholesoul，herwholebeing，intothesubjectthatabsorbedher，themorethatsubjectseemedtoenlargeunderhereyes，andthefeeblerandthemoreinadequateherownpowersseemedforcopingwithit，sothatsheconcentratedthemallonthatonesubject，andstillhadnottimetodoallthatseemedtohernecessary。
Therewereinthosedays，justasnow，argumentsanddiscussionsontherightsofwomen，ontherelationsofhusbandandwife，andonfreedomandrightsinmarriage，thoughtheywerenotthen，asnow，calledquestions。ButthesequestionshadnointerestforNatasha，infactshehadabsolutelynocomprehensionofthem。
Thosequestions，thenasnow，existedonlyforthosepersonswhoseeinmarriageonlythesatisfactionthemarriedreceivefromoneanother，thatis，onlythefirstbeginningsofmarriageandnotallitssignificance，whichliesinthefamily。
Suchdiscussionsandthequestionsofto-day，likethequestionhowtogettheutmostpossiblegratificationoutofone’sdinner，then，asnow，didnotexistforpersonsforwhomtheobjectofdinnerisnourishment，andtheobjectofwedlockisthefamily。
Iftheendofdinneristhenourishmentofthebody，themanwhoeatstwodinnersobtainspossiblyagreateramountofpleasure，buthedoesnotattaintheobjectofit，sincetwodinnerscannotbedigestedbythestomach。
Iftheendofmarriageisthefamily，thepersonwhopreferstohaveseveralwivesandseveralhusbandsmaypossiblyderiveagreatdealofsatisfactiontherefrom，butwillnotinanycasehaveafamily。Iftheendofdinnerisnourishmentandtheendofmarriageisthefamily，thewholequestionisonlysolvedbynoteatingmorethanthestomachcandigestandnothavingmorehusbandsorwivesthanasmanyasareneededforthefamily，thatis，onewifeandonehusband。Natashaneededahusband。Ahusbandwasgivenher;andherhusbandgaveherafamily。Andshesawnoneedofanotherbetterhusband，andindeed，asallherspiritualenergiesweredevotedtoservingthathusbandandhischildren，shecouldnotpicture，andfoundnointerestintryingtopicture，whatwouldhavehappenedhadthingsbeendifferent。
Natashadidnotcareforsocietyingeneral，butshegreatlyprizedthesocietyofherkinsfolk—ofCountessMarya，herbrother，hermother，andSonya。Shecaredforthesocietyofthosepersonstowhomshecouldrushinfromthenurseryinadressing-gownwithherhairdown;towhomshecould，withajoyfulface，showababy’snapkinstainedyellowinsteadofgreen，andtoreceivetheircomfortingassurancesthatthatprovedthatbabywasnowreallybetter。
Natashaneglectedherselftosuchadegreethatherdresses，heruntidyhair，herinappropriatelyblurted-outwords，andherjealousy—shewasjealousofSonya，ofthegoverness，ofeverywoman，prettyandugly—wereacontinualsubjectofjestsamongherfriends。ThegeneralopinionwasthatPierrewastiedtohiswife’sapronstrings，anditreallywasso。FromtheearliestdaysoftheirmarriageNatashahadmadeplainherclaims。Pierrehadbeengreatlysurprisedathiswife’sview—tohimacompletelynovelidea—thateveryminuteofhislifebelongedtoherandtheirhome。Hewassurprisedathiswife’sdemands，buthewasflatteredbythem，andheacquiescedinthem。
Pierrewassofarunderpetticoatgovernmentthathedidnotdaretobeattentive，oreventospeakwithasmile，toanyotherwoman;didnotdaregotodineattheclub，withoutgoodreason，simplyforentertainment;didnotdarespentmoneyonidlewhims，anddidnotdaretobeawayfromhomeforanylongtimetogether，exceptonbusiness，inwhichhiswifeincludedhisscientificpursuits。Thoughsheunderstoodnothingofthelatter，sheattachedgreatconsequencetothem。TomakeupforallthisPierrehadcompletepowerinhisownhousetodisposeofthewholehousehold，aswellasofhimself，ashechose。IntheirownhomeNatashamadeherselfaslavetoherhusband;andthewholehouseholdhadtogoontiptoeifthemasterwerebusyreadingorwritinginhisstudy。Pierrehadonlytoshowtheslightestpreference，forwhathedesiredtobeatoncecarriedout。HehadbuttoexpressawishandNatashajumpedupatonceandranforwhathewanted。
Thewholehouseholdwasruledbythesupposeddirectionsofthemaster，thatis，bythewishesofPierre，whichNatashatriedtoguess。Theirmanneroflifeandplaceofresidence，theiracquaintancesandties，Natasha’spursuits，andthebringingupofthechildren—allfollowed，notonlyPierre’sexpressedwishes，buteventhedeductionsNatashastrovetodrawfromtheideasheexplainedinconversationwithher。AndsheguessedverycorrectlywhatwastheessentialpointofPierre’swishes，andhavingonceguesseditshewassteadfastinadheringtoit：evenwhenPierrehimselfwouldhaveveeredroundsheopposedhimwithhisownweapons。
InthetroubleddaysthatPierrecouldneverforget，afterthebirthoftheirfirstchild，theyhadtriedthreewetnurses，oneafteranother，forthedelicatebaby，andNatashahadfallenillwithanxiety。AtthetimePierrehadexplainedtoherRousseau’sviewsontheunnaturalnessandharmfulnessofachildbeingsuckledbyanywomanbutitsownmotherandtoldherhefullyagreedwiththoseviews。Whenthenextbabywasborn，inspiteoftheoppositionofhermother，thedoctors，andevenofherhusbandhimself，whohadlookedonitassomethingunheardof，andinjurious，sheinsistedonhavingherownway，andfromthatdayhadnursedallherchildrenherself。Ithappenedveryofteninmomentsofirritabilitythatthehusbandandwifequarrelled;butlongaftertheirdisputePierrehad，tohisowndelightandsurprise，foundinhiswife’sactions，aswellaswords，thatveryideaofhiswithwhichshehadquarrelled。Andhenotonlyfoundhisownidea，butfounditpurifiedofallthatwassuperfluous，andhadbeenevokedbytheheatofargumentinhisownexpressionoftheidea。
Aftersevenyearsofmarriedlife，Pierrehadafirmandjoyfulconsciousnessthathewasnotabadfellow，andhefeltthisbecausehesawhimselfreflectedinhiswife。Inhimselfhefeltallthegoodandbadmingledtogether，andobscuringoneanother。Butinhiswifehesawreflectedonlywhatwasreallygood;everythingnotquitegoodwasleftout。Andthisresultwasnotreachedbythewayoflogicalthought，butbywayofamysterious，directreflectionofhimself。
Chapter11
TWOMONTHSPREVIOUSLY，PierrewasalreadysettledattheRostovs’whenhereceivedaletterfromacertainPrinceFyodor，urginghimtocometoPetersburgforthediscussionofvariousimportantquestionsthatwereagitatingthePetersburgmembersofasociety，ofwhichPierrehadbeenoneofthechieffounders。
Natashareadthisletter，asshedidindeedallherhusband’sletters，andbitterlyasshealwaysfelthisabsence，sheurgedhimherselftogotoPetersburg。Toeverythingappertainingtoherhusband’sintellectual，abstractpursuits，sheascribedimmenseconsequence，thoughshehadnounderstandingofthem，andshewasalwaysindreadofbeingahindrancetoherhusbandinsuchmatters。ToPierre’stimidglanceofinquiryafterreadingtheletter，sherepliedbybegginghimtogo，andallsheaskedwasthathewouldfixanabsolutelycertaindateforhisreturn。Andleaveofabsencewasgivenhimforfourweeks。
Eversincethedayfixedforhisreturn，afortnightbefore，Natashahadbeeninacontinualconditionofalarm，depression，andirritability。
Denisov，ageneralontheretiredlist，verymuchdissatisfiedatthepresentpositionofpublicaffairs，hadarrivedduringthatfortnight，andhelookedatNatashawithmelancholywonder，asatabadlikenessofapersononceloved。Abored，dejectedglance，randomreplies，andincessanttalkofthenurserywasallhesawandheardofhisenchantressofolddays。
AllthatfortnightNatashahadbeenmelancholyandirritable，especiallywhenhermother，herbrother，Sonya，orCountessMaryatriedtoconsoleherbyexcusingPierre，andinventinggoodreasonsforhisdelayinreturning。
‘‘It’sallnonsense，allidiocy，’’Natashawouldsay;‘‘allhisprojectsthatneverleadtoanything，andallthosefoolsofsocieties，’’shewoulddeclareoftheverymattersintheimmenseimportanceofwhichshefirmlybelieved。Andshewouldmarchofftothenurserytonurseheronlyboy，thebabyPetya。
Noonecouldgivehersuchsensibleandsoothingconsolationasthatlittlethreemonths’oldcreature，whenitlayatherbreast，andshefeltthemovementofitslipsandthesnufflingofitsnose。Thatlittlecreaturesaidtoher：‘‘Youareangry，youarejealous，youwouldliketopunishhim，youareafraid，buthereamI—Iamhe。Here，Iamhe…’’Andtherewasnoansweringthat。Itwasmorethantrue。
Natashahadsooftenduringthatfortnighthadrecoursetoherbabyforcomfort，thatshehadover-nursedhim，andhehadfallenill。Shewasterrifiedathisillness，butstillthiswasjustwhatsheneeded。Inlookingafterhim，shewasabletobearheruneasinessaboutherhusbandbetter。
ShewasnursingthebabywhenPierre’scarriagedrovenoisilyuptotheentrance，andthenurse，knowinghowtopleasehermistress，cameinaudiblybutquicklytothedoorwithabeamingface。
‘‘Hehascome？’’askedNatashainarapidwhisper，afraidtostirforfearofwakingthebaby，whowasdroppingasleep。
‘‘Hehascome，ma’am，’’whisperedthenurse。
ThebloodrushedtoNatasha’sface，andherfeetinvoluntarilymoved，buttojumpupandrunwasoutofthequestion。Thebabyopeneditslittleeyesagain，glanced，asthoughtosay，‘‘Youarehere，’’andgaveanotherlazysmackwithitslips。
Cautiouslywithdrawingherbreast，Natashadandledhim，handedhimtothenurse，andwentwithswiftstepstowardsthedoor。Butatthedoorshestoppedasthoughherconscienceprickedherforbeinginsuchhasteandjoytoleavethebaby，andshelookedback。Thenurse，withherelbowsraised，wasliftingthebabyovertherailofthecot。
‘‘Yes，goalong，goalong，ma’am，don’tworry，runalong，’’whisperedthenurse，smilingwiththefamiliaritythatwascommonbetweennurseandmistress。
WithlightstepsNatasharantothevestibule。Denisov，comingoutofthestudyintothehallwithapipeinhismouth，seemedtoseeNatashaagainforthefirsttime。Avividradianceofjoyshedstreamsoflightfromhertransfiguredcountenance。
‘‘Hehascome！’’shecalledtohim，assheflewby，andDenisovfeltthathewasthrilledtohearthatPierrehadcome，thoughhedidnotparticularlycareforhim。Runningintothevestibule，Natashasawatallfigureinafurcloakfumblingathisscarf。
‘‘He！he！It’strue。Hereheis，’’shesaidtoherself，anddartinguptohim，shehuggedhim，squeezingherheadtohisbreast，andthendrawingback，glancedatthefrosty，red，andhappyfaceofPierre。‘‘Yes，hereheis;happy，satisfied…’’
Andallatoncesherememberedallthetorturesofsuspenseshehadpassedthroughduringthelastfortnight。Thejoybeaminginherfacevanished;shefrowned，andatorrentofreproachesandangrywordsbrokeuponPierre。
‘‘Yes，youareallright，youhavebeenhappy，youhavebeenenjoyingyourself…Butwhataboutme！Youmightatleastthinkofyourchildren。Iamnursing，mymilkwentwrong…Petyanearlydiedofit。Andyouhavebeenenjoyingyourself。Yes，enjoyingyourself…’’
Pierreknewhewasnottoblame，becausehecouldnothavecomesooner。Heknewthisoutburstonherpartwasunseemly，andwouldbealloverintwominutes。Aboveall，heknewthathewashimselfhappyandjoyful。Hewouldhavelikedtosmile，butdarednoteventhinkofthat。Hemadeapiteous，dismayedface，andbowedbeforethestorm。
‘‘Icouldnot，uponmyword。ButhowisPetya？’’
‘‘Heisallrightnow，comealong。Aren’tyouashamed？IfyoucouldseewhatIamlikewithoutyou，howwretchedIam…’’
‘‘Areyouquitewell？’’
‘‘Comealong，comealong，’’shesaid，notlettinggoofhishand。Andtheywentofftotheirrooms。WhenNikolayandhiswifecametolookforPierre，theyfoundhiminthenursery，withhisbabysonawakeinhisarms，andhewasdandlinghim。Therewasagleefulsmileonthebaby’sbroadfaceandopen，toothlessmouth。Thestormhadlongblownover，andabright，sunnyradianceofjoyflowedalloverNatasha’sface，asshegazedtenderlyatherhusbandandson。
‘‘AnddidyouhaveagoodtalkovereverythingwithPrinceFyodor？’’Natashawassaying。
‘‘Yes，capital。’’
‘‘Yousee，heholdshisheadup’’（Natashameantthebaby）。‘‘Oh，whatafrighthegaveme。Anddidyouseetheprincess？Isittruethatsheisinlovewiththat…’’
‘‘Yes，canyoufancy…’’
AtthatmomentNikolaycameinwithhiswife。Pierre，notlettinggoofhisson，stoopeddown，kissedthem，andansweredtheirinquiries。Butitwasobviousthatinspiteofthemanyinterestingthingstheyhadtodiscuss，thebaby，withthewobblingheadinthelittlecap，wasabsorbingPierre’swholeattention。
‘‘Howsweetheis！’’saidCountessMarya，lookingatthebabyandplayingwithhim。‘‘That’sthingIcan’tunderstand，Nikolay，’’shesaid，turningtoherhusband，‘‘howitisyoudon’tfeelthecharmoftheseexquisitelittlecreatures？’’
‘‘Well，Idon’t，Ican’t，’’saidNikolay，lookingcoldlyatthebaby。‘‘Justamorselofflesh。Comealong，Pierre。’’
‘‘Thegreatthingis，thatheisreallyadevotedfather，’’saidCountessMarya，apologisingforherhusband，‘‘butonlyafterayearorso…’’
‘‘Oh，Pierreisacapitalnurse，’’saidNatasha;‘‘hesayshishandisjustmadeforababy’sback。Justlook。’’
‘‘Ohyes，butnotforthis，’’Pierrecriedlaughing，andhurriedlysnatchingupthebaby，hehandedhimbacktohisnurse。
Chapter12
ASINEVERYREALFAMILY，therewereseveralquiteseparateworldslivingtogetherintheBleakHillshouse，andwhileeachofthesepreserveditsownindividuality，theymadeconcessionstooneanother，andmixedintooneharmoniouswhole。Everyeventthatoccurredinthehousewasalikeimportantandjoyfulordistressingtoallthosecircles。Buteachcirclehaditsownprivategroundsforrejoicingormourningateveryeventquiteapartfromtherest。
SoPierre’sarrivalwasajoyfulandimportantevent，reflectedassuchinallthecirclesofthehousehold。
Theservants，themostinfalliblejudgesoftheirmasters，becausetheyjudgethem，notfromtheirconversationandexpressionoftheirfeelings，butfromtheiractionsandtheirmannerofliving，weredelightedatPierre’sreturn，becausetheyknewthatwhenhewasthere，thecount，theirmaster，wouldnotgoouteverydaytosuperintendthepeasantsontheestate，andwouldbeinbettertemperandspirits，andalsobecausetheyknewtherewouldbevaluablepresentsforallofthemforthefêteday。
ThechildrenandtheirgovernessesweredelightedatBezuhov’sreturn，becausenoonedrewthemintothegeneralsociallifeofthehouseasPierredid。Heitwaswhocouldplayontheclavichordthatécossaise（hisonepiece），towhich，ashesaid，onecoulddanceallpossibledances;andhewasquitesure，too，tohavebroughtallofthempresents。
NikolinkaBolkonsky，whowasnowathin，delicate，intelligentboyoffifteen，withcurlylighthairandbeautifuleyes，wasdelightedbecauseUnclePierre，ashecalledhim，wastheobjectofhispassionateloveandadoration。NoonehadinstilledaparticularaffectionforPierreintoNikolinka，andheonlyrarelysawhim。CountessMarya，whohadbroughthimup，haddoneherutmosttomakeNikolinkaloveherhusband，asshelovedhim;andtheboydidlikehisuncle，buttherewasascarcelyperceptibleshadeofcontemptinhislikingofhim。Pierreheadored。HedidnotwanttobeanhussaroraCavalierofSt。GeorgelikehisUncleNikolay;hewantedtobelearned，clever，andkindlikePierre。InPierre’spresencetherewasalwaysahappyradianceonhisface，andheblushedandwasbreathlesswhenPierreaddressedhim。HenevermissedawordthatPierreuttered，andafterwardsaloneorwithDessallerecalledeveryphrase，andpondereditsexactsignificance。Pierre’spastlife，hisunhappinessbefore1812（ofwhich，fromthefewwordshehadheard，hehadmadeupavague，romanticpicture），hisadventuresinMoscow，andcaptivitywiththeFrench，PlatonKarataev（ofwhomhehadheardfromPierre），hisloveforNatasha（whomtheboylovedtoowithquiteaspecialfeeling），and，aboveall，hisfriendshipwithhisfather，whomNikolinkadidnotremember，allmadePierreaheroandasaintinhiseyes。
FromthephraseshehadhearddroppedabouthisfatherandNatasha，fromtheemotionwithwhichPierrespokeofhim，andthecircumspect，reverenttendernesswithwhichNatashaspokeofhim，theboy，whowasonlyjustbeginningtoformhisconceptionsoflove，hadgatheredtheideathathisfatherhadlovedNatasha，andhadbequeathedherathisdeathtohisfriend。Thatfather，ofwhomtheboyhadnomemory，seemedtohimadivinebeing，ofwhomonecouldhavenoclearconception，andofwhomhecouldnotthinkwithoutathrobbingheartandtearsofsorrowandrapture。
AndsotheboytoowashappyatPierre’sarrival。
TheguestsinthehouseweregladtoseePierre，forhewasapersonwhoalwaysenlivenedeveryparty，andmadeitsdifferentelementsmixwelltogether。
Thegrown-upmembersofthehouseholdweregladtoseeafriendwhoalwaysmadedailyliferunmoresmoothlyandeasily。
Theoldladieswerepleasedbothatthepresentshebroughtthem，andstillmoreatNatasha’sbeingherselfagain。
Pierrefeltthevariousviewsthosedifferentsetsofpeopletookofhim，andmadehastetosatisfytheexpectationsofallofthem。
Thoughhewasthemostabsent-mindedandforgetfulofmen，bythehelpofalisthiswifemadeforhim，hehadboughteverything，notforgettingasinglecommissionfromhismother-in-laworbrother-in-law，northepresentsofadressforMadameByelovandtoysforhisnephews。
Intheearlydaysofhismarriedlifehiswife’sexpectationthatheshouldforgetnothinghehadundertakentobuyhadstruckhimasstrange，andhehadbeenimpressedbyherseriouschagrinwhenafterhisfirstabsencehehadreturnedhavingforgotteneverything。Butintimehehadgrownusedtothis。KnowingthatNatashagavehimnocommissionsonherownaccount，andforothersonlyaskedhimtogetthingswhenhehadhimselfofferedtodoso，henowtookachildishpleasure，thatwasasurprisetohimself，inthosepurchasesofpresentsforallthehousehold，andneverforgotanything。IfheincurredNatasha’scensurenow，itwasonlyforbuyingtoomuch，andpayingtoomuchforhispurchases。Toherotherdefectsintheeyesoftheworld—goodqualitiesinPierre’seyes—heruntidinessandnegligence，Natashaaddedthatofstinginess。
EversincePierrehadbegunlivingahomelife，involvingincreasedexpensesinalargehouse，hehadnoticedtohisastonishmentthathewasspendinghalfwhathehadspentinthepast，andthathiscircumstances，somewhatstraitenedlatterly，especiallybyhisfirstwife’sdebts，werebeginningtoimprove。
Livingwasmuchcheaper，becausehislifewascoherent;themostexpensiveluxuryinhisformermanneroflife，thatis，thepossibilityofacompletechangeinitatanymoment，Pierrehadnotnow，andhadnodesirefor。Hefeltthathismanneroflifewassettlednowonceforalltilldeath;thattochangeitwasnotinhispower，andthereforethatmanneroflifewascheaper。
Withabeaming，smilingcountenance，Pierrewasunpackinghispurchases。
‘‘Look！’’hesaid，unfoldingapieceofmateriallikeashopman。Natashawassittingoppositehimwithhereldestgirlonherknee，andsheturnedhersparklingeyesfromherhusbandtowhathewasshowingher。
‘‘That’sforMadameByelov？Splendid。’’Shetouchedittofeelthegoodnessofthematerial。‘‘Itmusthavebeenaroubleayard？’’
Pierrementionedtheprice。
‘‘Verydear，’’saidNatasha。‘‘Well，howpleasedthechildrenwillbeandmamantoo。Onlyyoushouldn’thaveboughtmethis，’’sheadded，unabletosuppressasmile，assheadmiredthegoldandpearlcomb，ofapatternjustthencomingintofashion。
‘‘Adèlekeptonatmetobuyit，’’saidPierre。
‘‘WhenshallIwearit？’’Natashaputitinhercoilofhair。‘‘ItwilldowhenIhavetobringlittleMashaout;perhapstheywillcomeinagainthen。Well，letusgoin。’’
Andgatheringupthepresents，theywentfirstintothenursery，andthenintoseethecountess。
Thecountess，asherhabitwas，wassittingplayingpatiencewithMadameByelovwhenPierreandNatashawentintothedrawing-roomwithparcelsundertheirarms。
Thecountesswasbynowoversixty。Herhairwascompletelygrey，andsheworeacapthatsurroundedherwholefacewithafrill。Herfacewaswrinkled，herupperliphadsunk，andhereyesweredim。
Afterthedeathsofhersonandherhusbandthathadfollowedsoquicklyononeanother，shehadfeltherselfacreatureaccidentallyforgotteninthisworld，withnoobjectandnointerestinlife。Sheateanddrank，sleptandlayawake，butshedidnotlive。Lifegavehernoimpressions。Shewantednothingfromlifebutpeace，andthatpeaceshecouldfindonlyindeath。Butuntildeathcametohershehadtogoonliving—thatis，usinghervitalforces。Therewasinthehighestdegreenoticeableinherwhatmaybeobservedinverysmallchildrenandinveryoldpeople。Noexternalaimcouldbeseeninherexistence;allthatcouldbeseenwastheneedtoexercisehervariouscapacitiesandpropensities。Shehadtoeat，tosleep，tothink，totalk，toweep，towork，togetangry，andsoon，simplybecauseshehadastomach，abrain，muscles，nerves，andspleen。Allthisshedid，notatthepromptingsofanyexternalmotive，aspeopledointhefullvigouroflife，whentheaimtowardswhichtheystrivescreensfromourviewthatotheraimofexercisingtheirpowers。Sheonlytalkedbecausesheneededtoexerciseherlungsandhertongue。Shecriedlikeachild，becausesheneededthephysicalreliefoftears，andsoon。Whatforpeopleintheirfullvigourisamotive，withherwasobviouslyapretext。
Thusinthemorning，especiallyifshehadeatenanythingtoorichthenightbefore，shesoughtanoccasionforanger，andpitchedonthefirstexcuse—thedeafnessofMadameByelov。
Fromtheotherendoftheroomshewouldbegintosaysomethingtoherinalowvoice。
‘‘Ifancyitiswarmerto-day，mydear，’’shewouldsayinawhisper。AndwhenMadameByelovreplied：‘‘Tobesure，theyhavecome，’’shewouldmutterangrily：‘‘Mercyonus，howdeafandstupidsheis！’’
Anotherexcusewashersnuff，whichshefanciedeithertoodry，ortoomoist，orbadlypounded。Aftertheseoutburstsofirritability，abilioushuecameintoherface。AndhermaidsknewbyinfallibletokenswhenMadameByelovwouldbedeafagain，andwhenhersnuffwouldagainbedamp，andherfacewouldagainbeyellow。Justasshehadtoexerciseherspleen，shehadsometimestoexerciseherremainingfaculties;andforthoughtthepretextwaspatience。Whenshewantedtocry，thesubjectofhertearswasthelatecount。Whensheneededexcitement，thesubjectwasNikolayandanxietyabouthishealth。Whenshewantedtosaysomethingspiteful，thepretextwastheCountessMarya。Whensherequiredexerciseforherorgansofspeech—thiswasusuallyaboutseveno’clock，aftershehadhadherafter-dinnerrestinadarkenedroom—thenthepretextwasfoundinrepetitionofanecdotes，alwaysthesame，andalwaystothesamelisteners。
Theoldcountess’sconditionwasunderstoodbyallthehousehold，thoughnooneeverspokeofit，andeverypossibleeffortwasmadebyeveryonetosatisfyherrequirements。Onlyrarelyamournfulhalf-smilepassedbetweenNikolay，Pierre，Natasha，andCountessMaryathatbetrayedtheircomprehensionofhercondition。
Butthoseglancessaidsomethingelsebesides。Theysaidthatshehaddoneherworkinlifealready，thatshewasnotallhereinwhatwasseeninhernow，thattheywouldallbethesame，andthattheyweregladtogivewaytoher，torestrainthemselvesforthesakeofthispoorcreature，oncesodear，onceasfulloflifeasthey。Mementomori，saidthoseglances。
Onlyquiteheartlessandstupidpeopleandlittlechildrenfailedtounderstandthis，andheldthemselvesalooffromher。
Chapter13
WHENPIERREANDHISWIFEcameintothedrawing-room，thecountesshappenedtobeinhercustomaryconditionofneedingthementalexerciseofagameofpatience，andtherefore，althoughfromhabitsheutteredthewords，shealwaysrepeatedonthereturnofPierreorhersonafterabsence：‘‘Itwashightime，hightime，mydearboy;wehavebeenexpectingyoualongwhile。Well，thankGod，youarehere。’’Andonthepresentsbeinggivenher，pronouncedanotherstockphrase：‘‘It’snotthegiftthatisprecious，mydear。…Thankyouforthinkingofanoldwomanlikeme。…’’ItwasevidentthatPierre’sentranceatthatmomentwasunwelcome，becauseitinterruptedherindealinghercards。Shefinishedhergameofpatience，andonlythengaveherattentiontothepresents。Thepresentsforherconsistedofacard-caseoffineworkmanship，abrightblueSèvrescupwithalidandapictureofshepherdessesonit，andagoldsnuff-boxwiththecount’sportraitonit，whichPierrehadhadexecutedbyaminiature-painterinPetersburg。Thecountesshadlongwishedtohavethis;butjustnowshehadnoinclinationtoweep，andsoshelookedunconcernedlyattheportrait，andtookmorenoticeofthecard-case。
‘‘Thankyou，mydear，youareacomforttome，’’shesaid，asshealwaysdid。‘‘Butbestofall，youhavebroughtyourselfback。Ithasbeenbeyondeverything;youmustreallyscoldyourwife。Sheislikeonepossessedwithoutyou。Sheseesnothing，thinksofnothing，’’shesaidasusual。‘‘Look，AnnaTimofyevna，’’sheadded，‘‘whatacard-casemysonhasbroughtus。’’
MadameByelovadmiredthepresent，andwasenchantedwiththedressmaterial。
Pierre，Natasha，Nikolay，CountessMarya，andDenisovhadagreatdealtheywantedtotalkabout，whichwasnottalkedofbeforetheoldcountess;notbecauseanythingwasconcealedfromher，butsimplybecauseshehaddroppedsooutofthings，thatiftheyhadbeguntotalkfreelybeforehertheywouldhavehadtoanswersomanyquestionsputbyheratrandom，andtorepeatsomanythingsthathadbeenrepeatedtohersomanytimesalready;totellherthatthispersonwasdeadandthatpersonwasmarried，whichshecouldneverremember。Yettheysatasusualatteainthedrawing-room，andPierreansweredthecountess’squitesuperfluousquestions，whichwereofnointeresteventoher，andtoldherthatPrinceVassilywaslookingolder，andthatCountessMaryaAlexeyevnasentherkindregardsandremembrances，etc。
Suchconversation，ofnointeresttoanyone，butinevitable，waskeptupalltea-time。Allthegrown-upmembersofthefamilyweregatheredabouttheroundtea-tablewiththesamovar，atwhichSonyapresided。Thechildrenwiththeirtutorsandgovernesseshadalreadyhadtea，andtheirvoicescouldbeheardinthenextroom。Atteaeveryonesatinhisownhabitualplace。Nikolaysatbythestoveatalittletableapart，wherehisteawashandedhim。Anoldterrierbitch，withaperfectlygreyface，Milka，thedaughterofthefirstMilka，layonachairbesidehim。Denisov，withstreaksofgreyinhiscurlyhair，moustaches，andwhiskers，wearinghisgeneral’scoatunbuttoned，satbesideCountessMarya。Pierrewassittingbetweenhiswifeandtheoldcountess。Hewastellingwhatheknewmightinteresttheoldladyandbeintelligibletoher。Hetalkedofexternalsocialeventsandofthepersonswhohadoncemadeupthecircleoftheoldcountess’scontemporaries，andhadoncebeenareallivingcircleofpeople，butwerenowforthemostpartscatteredabouttheworld，and，likeher，livingouttheirremnantoflife，gleaningupthestrayearsofwhattheyhadsowninlife。Butthey，thesecontemporaries，seemedtotheoldcountesstomakeuptheonlyrealworldthatwasworthconsidering。ByPierre’seagerness，Natashasawthathisvisithadbeenaninterestingone，thathewaslongingtotellthemaboutit，butdarednotspeakfreelybeforethecountess。Denisov，notbeingamemberofthefamily，didnotunderstandPierre’scircumspectness，and，moreover，beingdissatisfiedwiththecourseofevents，tookaverygreatinterestinallthatwasgoingforwardatPetersburg。HewascontinuallytryingtogetPierretotellhimabouttherecentscandalabouttheSemyonovskyregiment，oraboutAraktcheev，orabouttheBibleSociety。Pierrewassometimesledonintobeginningtotalkaboutthosesubjects，butNikolayandNatashaalwaysbroughthimbacktothehealthofPrinceIvanandCountessMaryaAntonovna。
‘‘Well，whatisallthisidiocy，GossnerandMadameTatarinov，’’Denisovasked，‘‘isthatstillgoingon？’’
‘‘Goingon？’’saidPierre。‘‘Worsethanever。TheBibleSocietyisnowthewholegovernment。’’
‘‘Whatisthat，moncherami？’’askedtheoldcountess，who，havingdrunkhertea，wasobviouslyseekingapretextforill-humouraftertakingfood。‘‘Whatareyousayingaboutthegovernment？Idon’tunderstandthat。’’
‘‘Why，youknow，maman，’’putinNikolay，whoknewhowtotranslatethingsintohismother’slanguage。‘‘PrinceAlexanderNikolaevitchGolitsinhadfoundedasociety，sohehasgreatinfluencetheysay。’’
‘‘AraktcheevandGolitsin，’’saidPierreincautiously，‘‘arepracticallythegovernmentnow。Andwhatagovernment！Theyseeconspiracyineverything，theyareafraidofeverything。’’
‘‘What，PrinceAlexanderNikolaevitchfoundfaultwith！Heisamostestimableman。IusedtomeethiminolddaysatMaryaAntonovna’s，’’saidthecountessinanaggrievedtone。Andstillmoreaggrievedbythegeneralsilence，shewenton，‘‘Nowadayspeoplefindfaultwitheveryone。AGospelSociety，whatharmisthereinthat？’’andshegotup（everyonerosetoo），andwithaseverefacesailedouttohertableintheadjoiningdivan-room。
Inthemidstofthemournfulsilencethatfollowed，theyheardthesoundofchildren’svoicesandlaughterfromthenextroom。Therewasevidentlysomejoyfulexcitementafootamongthechildren。
‘‘Finished，finished！’’thegleefulshriekoflittleNatashawasheardabovealltherest。PierreexchangedglanceswithCountessMaryaandNikolay（Natashahewaslookingatallthetime），andhesmiledhappily。
‘‘Delightfulmusic！’’hesaid。
‘‘AnnaMakarovnahasfinishedherstocking，’’saidCountessMarya。
‘‘Oh，I’mgoingtohavealookatthem，’’saidPierre，jumpingup。‘‘Youknow，’’hesaid，stoppingatthedoor，‘‘whyitisIsoparticularlylovethatmusic—itiswhatfirstletsmeknowthatall’swell。AsIcametoday，thenearerIgottohome，thegreatermypanic。AsIcameintothevestibule，IheardAndryushainpealsoflaughter，andthenIknewallwaswell…’’
‘‘Iknow，Iknowthatfeeling，’’Nikolaychimedin。‘‘Imustn’tcome—thestockingsareasurpriseinstoreforme。’’
Pierrewentintothechildren，andtheshrieksandlaughterwerelouderthanever。‘‘Now，AnnaMakarovna，’’criedPierre’svoice，‘‘hereinthemiddleoftheroomandatthewordofmycommand—one，two，andwhenIsaythree，youstandhere。Youinmyarms。Now，one，two…’’therewascompletesilence。‘‘Three！’’andanenthusiasticroarofchildren’svoicesroseintheroom。‘‘Two，two！’’criedthechildren。
Theymeantthetwostockings，which，byasecretonlyknowntoher，AnnaMakarovnausedtoknitonherneedlesatonce。Shealwaysmadeasolemnceremonyofpullingonestockingoutoftheotherinthepresenceofthechildrenwhenthepairwasfinished。
Chapter14
SOONAFTERTHISthechildrencameintosaygood-night。Thechildrenkissedeveryone，thetutorsandgovernessessaidgood-nightandwentaway。Dessallealoneremainedwithhispupil。Thetutorwhisperedtohisyoungchargetocomedownstairs。
‘‘No，M。Dessalle，Iwillaskmyauntforleavetostay，’’NikolinkaBolkonskyanswered，alsoinawhisper。
‘‘Matante，willyouletmestay？’’saidNikolinka，goinguptohisaunt。Hisfacewasfullofentreaty，excitement，andenthusiasm。CountessMaryalookedathimandturnedtoPierre
‘‘Whenyouarehere，thereisnotearinghimaway…’’shesaid。
‘‘Iwillbringhimdirectly，M。Dessalle。Good-night，’’saidPierre，givinghishandtotheSwisstutor，andheturnedsmilingtoNikolinka。‘‘Wehavenotseeneachotheratallyet。Marie，howlikeheisgrowing，’’headded，turningtoCountessMarya。
‘‘Likemyfather？’’saidtheboy，flushingcrimsonandlookingupatPierrewithrapturous，shiningeyes。
Pierrenoddedtohim，andwentonwiththeconversationthathadbeeninterruptedbythechildren。CountessMaryahadsomecanvasembroideryinherhands;Natashasatwithhereyesfixedonherhusband。NikolayandDenisovgotup，askedforpipes，smoked，andtookcupsofteafromSonya，stillsittingwithwearypertinacityatthesamovar，andaskedquestionsofPierre。Thecurly-headed，delicateboy，withhisshiningeyes，satunnoticedbyanyoneinacorner。TurningthecurlyheadandtheslenderneckabovehislaydowncollartofollowPierre’smovements，hetremblednowandthen，andmurmuredsomethingtohimself，evidentlythrilledbysomenewandviolentemotion。
Theconversationturnedonthescandalsofthedayinthehighergovernmentcircles，asubjectinwhichthemajorityofpeopleusuallyfindthechiefinterestofhomepolitics。Denisov，whowasdissatisfiedwiththegovernmentonaccountofhisowndisappointmentsintheservice，heardwithgleeofallthefollies，asheconsideredthem，thatweregoingonnowinPetersburg，andmadehiscommentsonPierre’swordsinharshandincuttingphrases。
‘‘InolddaysyouhadtobeaGermantobeanybody，nowadaysyouhavetodancewiththeTatarinovwomanandMadameKrüdner，toread…Eckartshausen，andtherestofthatcrew。Ugh！IwouldletgoodoldBonapartelooseagain！Hewouldknockallthenonsenseoutofthem。Why，isn’titbeyondeverythingtohavegiventhatfellowSchwartztheSemyonovskyregiment？’’heshouted。
ThoughNikolayhadnotDenisov’sdispositiontofindeverythingamiss，hetoothoughtitdignifiedandbecomingtocriticisethegovernment，andhebelievedthatthefact，thatA。hadbeenappointedministerofsuchadepartment，andB。hadbeenmadegovernorofsuchaprovince，andtheTsarhadsaidthis，andtheministerhadsaidthat，wereallmattersofthegreatestimportance。AndhethoughtitincumbentuponhimtotakeaninterestinthesubjectandtoquestionPierreaboutit。SothequestionsputbyNikolayandDenisovkepttheconversationontheusuallinesofgossipaboutthehighergovernmentcircles。
ButNatasha，whokneweverythoughtandexpressioninherhusband，sawthatPierreallthewhilewantedtoleadtheconversationintoanotherchannel，andtoopenhisheartonhisownidea，theideawhichhehadgonetoPetersburgtoconsulthisnewfriendPrinceFyodorabout。Shesawtoothathecouldnotleaduptothis，andshecametotherescuewithaquestion：HowhadhesettledthingswithPrinceFyodor？
‘‘Whatwasthat？’’askedNikolay。
‘‘Allthesamethingoverandoveragain，’’saidPierre，lookingabouthim。‘‘Everyoneseesthatthingsareallgoingsowrongthattheycan’tbeendured，andthatit’sthedutyofallhonestmentoopposeittotheutmostoftheirpower。’’
‘‘Why，whatcanhonestmendo？’’saidNikolay，frowningslightly。‘‘Whatcanbedone？’’
‘‘Why，this…’’
‘‘Letusgointothestudy，’’saidNikolay。
Natasha，whohadalongwhilebeenexpectingtobefetchedtoherbaby，heardthenursecallingher，andwentofftothenursery。CountessMaryawentwithher。Themenwenttothestudy，andNikolinkaBolkonskystolein，unnoticedbyhisuncle，andsatdownatthewritingtable，inthedarkbythewindow。
‘‘Well，whatareyougoingtodo？’’saidDenisov。
‘‘Everlastinglythesefantasticschemes，’’saidNikolay。
‘‘Well，’’Pierrebegan，notsittingdown，butpacingtheroom，andcomingtoanoccasionalstandstill，lispingandgesticulatingrapidlyashetalked。‘‘ThisisthepositionofthingsinPetersburg：theTsarletseverythinggo。Heisentirelywrappedupinthismysticism’’（mysticismPierrecouldnotforgiveinanybodynow）。‘‘Allheasksforispeace;andhecanonlygetpeacethroughthesemenofnofaithandnoconscience，whoarestiflinganddestroyingeverything，MagnitskyandAraktcheev，andtuttiquanti…Youwilladmitthatifyoudidnotlookafteryourpropertyyourself，andonlyaskedforpeaceandquiet，thecruelleryourbailiffwere，themorereadilyyouwouldattainyourobject，’’hesaid，turningtoNikolay。
‘‘Well，butwhatisthedriftofallthis？’’saidNikolay。
‘‘Why，everythingisgoingtoruin。Briberyinthelaw-courts，inthearmynothingbutcoercionanddrill：exile—peoplearebeingtortured，andenlightenmentissuppressed。Everythingyouthfulandhonourable—theyarecrushing！Everybodyseesthatitcan’tgoonlikethis。Thestrainistoogreat，andthestringmustsnap，’’saidPierre（asmenalwaysdosay，lookingintotheworkingofanygovernmentsolongasgovernmentshaveexisted）。‘‘ItoldthemonethinginPetersburg。’’
‘‘Toldwhom？’’askedDenisov。
‘‘Oh，youknowwhom，’’saidPierre，withameaninglookfromunderhisbrows，‘‘PrinceFyodorandallofthem。Zealineducationalandphilanthropicworkisallverygoodofcourse。Theirobjectisexcellentandalltherestofit;butinpresentcircumstanceswhatiswantedissomethingelse。’’
AtthatmomentNikolaynoticedthepresenceofhisnephew。Hisfacefell;hewentuptohim。
‘‘Whyareyouhere？’’
‘‘Oh，lethimbe，’’saidPierre，takingholdofNikolay’sarm;andhewenton。‘‘That’snotenough，Itoldthem;somethingelseiswantednow。Whileyoustandwaitingforthestringtosnapeverymoment;whileeveryoneisexpectingtheinevitablerevolution，asmanypeopleaspossibleshouldjoinhandsascloselyastheycantowithstandthegeneralcatastrophe。Alltheyouthandenergyisbeingdrawnawayanddissipated。Oneluredbywomen，anotherbyhonours，athirdbydisplayormoney—theyareallgoingovertothewrongside。Asforindependent，honestmen，likeyouandme—therearenoneofthemleft。Isay：enlargethescopeofthesociety：letthemotd’ordrebenotloyaltyonly，butindependenceandaction。’’
Nikolay，leavinghisnephew，hadangrilymovedoutachair，andsatdowninit。AshelistenedtoPierre，hecoughedinadissatisfiedway，andfrownedmoreandmore。
‘‘Butactionwithwhatobject？’’hecried。‘‘Andwhatattitudedoyoutakeuptothegovernment？’’
‘‘Why，theattitudeofsupporters！Thesocietywillperhapsnotevenbeasecretone，ifthegovernmentwillallowit。Sofarfrombeinghostiletothegovernment，wearetherealconservatives。Itisasocietyofgentlemen，inthefullsignificanceoftheword。ItissimplytopreventPugatchovfromcomingtomassacremychildrenandyours，topreventAraktcheevfromtransportingmetoamilitarysettlement，thatwearejoininghands，withthesoleobjectofthecommonwelfareandsecurity。’’
‘‘Yes;butit’sasecretsociety，andconsequentlyahostileandmischievoussociety，whichcanonlyleadtoevil。’’
‘‘Whyso？DidtheTugend-bundwhichsavedEurope’’（peopledidnotyetventuretobelievethatRussiahadsavedEurope）‘‘leadtoevil？ATugend-bunditis，anallianceofvirtue;itisloveandmutualhelp;itiswhatChristpreachedonthecross…’’
Natasha，comingintotheroominthemiddleoftheconversation，lookedjoyfullyatherhusband。Shewasnotrejoicinginwhathewassaying。Itdidnotinterestherindeed，becauseitseemedtoherthatitwasallsoexcessivelysimple，andthatshehadknownitlongago。Shefanciedthis，becausesheknewallthatitsprangfrom—allPierre’ssoul。Butshewasgladlookingathiseager，enthusiasticfigure。
Pierrewaswatchedwithevenmorerapturousgladnessbytheboywiththeslenderneckinthelaydowncollar，whohadbeenforgottenbyallofthem。EverywordPierreutteredsethisheartinaglow，andhisfingersmovingnervously，heunconsciouslypickedupandbroketopiecesthesticksofsealing-waxandpensonhisuncle’stable。
‘‘It’snotatallwhatyouimagine，butjustsuchasocietyastheGermanTugend-bundiswhatIpropose。’’
‘‘Well，myboy，that’sallverywellforthesausage-eaters—aTugend-bund—butIdon’tunderstandit，andIcan’tevenpronounceit，’’Denisov’sloud，positivevoicebrokein。‘‘Everything’srottenandcorrupt;Iagreethere;onlyyourTugend-bundIdon’tunderstand，butifoneisdissatisfied，—abuntnow’’（i。e。riotormutiny），‘‘jesuisvotrehomme！’’
Pierresmiled，Natashalaughed;butNikolayknittedhisbrowsmorethanever，andbeganarguingwithPierrethatnorevolutionwastobeexpected，andthatthedangerhetalkedofhadnoexistencebutinhisimagination。Pierremaintainedhisview，andashisintellectualfacultieswerekeenerandmoreresourceful，Nikolaywassoonatalossforananswer。Thisangeredhimstillmore，asinhishearthefeltconvinced，notbyreasoning，butbysomethingstrongerthanreasoning，oftheindubitabletruthofhisownview。
‘‘Well，letmetellyou，’’hesaid，gettingupandnervouslysettinghispipedowninthecorner，andthenflingingitaway;‘‘Ican’tproveityou。Yousayeverythingisallrotten，andtherewillbearevolution;Idon’tseeit;butyousayouroathofallegianceisaconditionalthing，andastothat，letmetellyou，youaremygreatestfriend，youknowthat，butyoumakeasecretsociety，youbeginworkingagainstthegovernment—whateveritmaybe，Iknowit’smydutytoobeyit。AndifAraktcheevbidsmemarchagainstyouwithasquadronandcutyoudown，Ishan’thesitateforasecond，Ishallgo。Andthenyoumaythinkwhatyoulikeaboutit。’’
Anawkwardsilencefollowedthesewords。Natashawasthefirsttobreakitbydefendingherhusbandandattackingherbrother。Herdefencewasweakandclumsy。Butitattainedherobject。Theconversationwastakenupagain，andnolongerintheunpleasantlyhostiletoneinwhichNikolay’slastwordshadbeenspoken。
Whentheyallgotuptogointosupper，NikolinkaBolkonskywentuptoPierrewithapalefaceandshining，luminouseyes。
‘‘UnclePierre…you…no…Ifpapahadbeenalive…hewouldhavebeenonyourside？’’heasked。
Pierresawinaflashalltheoriginal，complicatedandviolenttravailofthoughtandfeelingthatmusthavebeengoingonindependentlyinthisboyduringtheconversation。Andrecallingallhehadbeensaying，hefeltvexedthattheboyshouldhaveheardhim。Hehadtoanswerhim，however。
‘‘Ibelievehewould，’’hesaidreluctantly，andhewentoutofthestudy。
Theboylookeddown，andthenforthefirsttimeseemedtobecomeawareofthehavochehadbeenmakingonthewriting-table。HeflushedhotlyandwentuptoNikolay。
‘‘Uncle，forgiveme;Ididit—notonpurpose，’’hesaid，pointingtothefragmentsofsealing-waxandpens。
Nikolayboundedupangrily。‘‘Verygood，verygood，’’hesaid，throwingthebitsofpensandsealing-waxunderthetable。Andwithevidenteffortmasteringhisfury，heturnedawayfromhim。
‘‘Yououghtnottohavebeenhereatall，’’hesaid。
Chapter15
ATSUPPERnomorewassaidofpoliticsandsocieties，butaconversationturnedonthesubjectmostagreeabletoNikolay—reminiscencesof1812。Denisovstartedthetalk，andPierrewasparticularlycordialandamusing。Andthepartybrokeuponthefriendliestterms。Nikolay，afterundressinginhisstudy，andgivinginstructionstohissteward，whowasawaitinghim，wentinhisdressing-gowntohisbedroom，andfoundhiswifestillatherwriting-table：shewaswritingsomething。
‘‘Whatareyouwriting，Marie？’’askedNikolay。CountessMaryaflushed。Shewasafraidthatwhatshewaswritingwouldnotbeunderstoodandapprovedbyherhusband。
Shewouldhavelikedtoconcealwhatshewaswritingfromhim，andatthesametime，shewasgladhehadcaughther，andshehadtotellhim。
‘‘It’smydiary，Nikolay，’’shesaid，handinghimabluenote-book，filledwithherfirm，boldhandwriting。
‘‘Adiary！’’…saidNikolaywithashadeofmockery，andhetookthenote-book。HesawwritteninFrench：
‘‘December4。—Andryusha’’（theirelderboy）‘‘wouldnotbedressedwhenhewakedupthismorning，andMademoiselleLouisesentforme。Hewasnaughtyandobstinate。Itriedthreateninghim，butheonlygotmoreill-tempered。ThenIundertooktomanagehim，lefthim，andhelpednursegettheotherchildrenup，andtoldhimIdidnotlovehim。Foralongwhilehewasquiet，asthoughheweresurprised。Thenherushedouttomeinhisnight-shirt，andsobbedsothatIcouldnotsoothehimforalongwhile。Itwasclearthatwhatdistressedhimmostwashavinggrievedme。Then，whenIgavehimhisreportintheevening，hecriedpiteouslyagainashekissedme。Onecandoanythingwithhimbytenderness。’’
‘‘Whatishisreport？’’askedNikolay。
‘‘Ihavebegungivingtheelderoneslittlemarksintheeveningofhowtheyhavebehaved。’’
Nikolayglancedattheluminouseyeswatchinghim，andwentonturningover，andreadthediary。Everythinginthechildren’sliveswasnoteddowninitthatseemedtothemotherofinterestasshowingthecharacterofthechildren，orleadingtogeneralconclusionsastomethodsofbringingthemup。Itconsistedmostlyofthemosttriflingdetails;buttheydidnotseemsoeithertothemotherorthefather，ashenow，forthefirsttime，readthisrecordofhischildren’slives。Onthe5thofDecembertherewasthenote：
‘‘Mityawasnaughtyattable。Papasaidheshouldhavenopudding。Hehadnone;buthelookedsomiserablyandgreedilyattheotherswhiletheywereeating。Ibelievethatpunishingthembydeprivingthemofsweetthingsonlydevelopsgreediness。MusttellNikolay。’’
Nikolayputthebookdownandlookedathiswife。Theluminouseyeslookedathimdoubtfully，toseewhetherheapprovedornot。TherecouldbenodoubtofNikolay’sapproval，ofhisenthusiasticadmirationofhiswife。
Perhapstherewasnoneedtodoitsopedantically;perhapstherewasnoneedofitall，thoughtNikolay;butthisuntiring，perpetualspiritualeffort，directedonlyatthechildren’smoralwelfare，enchantedhim。IfNikolaycouldhaveanalysedhisfeelings，hewouldhavefoundthattheverygroundworkofhissteadyandtenderloveandprideinhiswifewasalwaysthisfeelingofaweatherspirituality，atthatelevatedmoralworldthathecouldhardlyenter，inwhichhiswifealwayslived。
Hewasproudthatshewassocleverandsogood，recognisinghisowninsignificancebesideherinthespiritualworld，andherejoicedthemorethatshe，withhersoul，notonlybelongedtohim，butwasapartofhisveryself。
‘‘Iquite，quiteapprove，mydarling！’’hesaid，withasignificantair。‘‘And，’’afterabriefpause，headded，‘‘AndIhavebehavedbadlyto-day。Youwerenotinthestudy。PierreandIwerearguing，andIlostmytemper。Icouldn’thelpit。Heissuchachild。Idon’tknowwhatwouldbecomeofhimifNatashadidn’tkeephimatherapron-strings。CanyouimaginewhathewenttoPetersburgabout？…Theyhavemadea…’’
‘‘Yes，Iknow，’’saidCountessMarya。‘‘Natashatoldme。’’
‘‘Oh，well，youknow，then，’’Nikolaywenton，gettinghotatthemererecollectionofthediscussion。‘‘Hewantstopersuademethatit’sthedutyofeveryhonestmantoworkagainstthegovernmentwhenone’sswornallegianceandduty。…Iamsorryyouwerenotthere。Asitwas，theyallfelluponme，Denisov，andNatasha，too。…Natashaistooamusing。Weknowshetwistshimroundherlittlefinger，butwhenitcomestodiscussion—shehasn’tanideatocallherown—shesimplyrepeatshiswords，’’addedNikolay，yieldingtothatirresistibleimpulsethattemptsonetocriticiseone’snearestanddearest。NikolaywasunawarethatwhathewassayingofNatashamightbesaidwordforwordofhimselfinrelationtohiswife。
‘‘Yes，Ihavenoticedthat，’’saidCountessMarya。
‘‘WhenItoldhimthatdutyandswornallegiancecomebeforeeverything，hebeganarguingGodknowswhat。Itwasapityyouwerenotthere。Whatwouldyouhavesaid？’’
‘‘Tomythinking，youwerequiteright。ItoldNatashaso。Pierresaysthateveryoneissuffering，andbeingill-treatedandcorrupted，andthatit’sourdutytohelpourneighbours。Ofcourse，heisright，’’saidCountessMarya;‘‘butheforgetsthatwehaveothernearerduties，whichGodHimselfhasmarkedoutforus，andthatwemayrunrisksforourselves，butnotforourchildren。’’
‘‘Yes，yes，that’sjustwhatItoldhim，’’criedNikolay，whoactuallyfanciedhehadsaidjustthat。‘‘Andtheyhadalltheirsayoutaboutlovingone’sneighbour，andChristianity，andalltherestofit，beforeNikolinka，whohadslippedinthere，andwaspullingallmythingstopieces。’’
‘‘Ah，doyouknow，Nikolay，IamsooftenworriedaboutNikolinka，’’saidCountessMarya。‘‘Heissuchanexceptionalboy。AndIamafraidIneglecthimformyown。Allofushaveourchildren;weallhaveourownties;whilehehasnobody。Heisalwaysalonewithhisthoughts。’’
‘‘Well，Idon’tthinkyouhaveanythingtoreproachyourselfwithonhisaccount。Everythingthefondestmothercoulddoforhersonyouhavedone，andaredoing，forhim。AndofcourseIamgladyoudo。Heisasplendidboy，splendid！ThiseveninghewaslostinasortofdreamlisteningtoPierre。Andonlyfancy，wegotuptogointosupper。Ilook;andtherehehasbrokeneverythingonmytabletofragments，andhetoldmeofitatonce。Ihaveneverknownhimtotellafib。He’sasplendidboy！’’repeatedNikolay，whodidnotinhisheartlikeNikolinka，butalwaysfeltmovedtoacknowledgethathewasasplendidfellow。