第1章
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  CHAPTERI

  THEstoryofmyheartcommencesseventeenyearsago。IntheglowofyouththereweretimeseverynowandthenwhenIfeltthenecessityofastronginspirationofsoulthought。Myheartwasdusty,parchedforwantoftherainofdeepfeeling;mymindaridanddry,forthereisadustwhichsettlesontheheartaswellasthatwhichfallsonaledge。Itisinjurioustothemindaswellastothebodytobealwaysinoneplaceandalwayssurroundedbythesamecircumstances。Aspeciesofthickclothingslowlygrowsaboutthemind,theporesarechoked,littlehabitsbecomeapartofexistence,andbydegreesthemindisinclosedinahusk。

  WhenthisbegantoformIfelteagertoescapefromit,tothrowofftheheavyclothing,todrinkdeeplyoncemoreatthefreshfountationsoflife。

  Aninspiration——alongdeepbreathofthepureairofthought——couldalonegivehealthtotheheart。

  ThereisahilltowhichIusedtoresortatsuchperiods。Thelabourofwalkingthreemilestoit,allthewhilegraduallyascending,seemedtoclearmybloodoftheheavinessaccumulatedathome。Onawarmsummerdaytheslowcontinuedriserequiredcontinualeffort,whichcariedawaythesenseofoppression。Thefamiliareverydayscenewassoonoutofsight;I

  cametoothertrees,meadows,andfields;Ibegantobreatheanewairandtohaveafresheraspirationn。Irestrainedmysoultillreachedtheswardofthehill;psyche,thesoulthatlongedtobeloose。Iwouldwritepsychealwaysinsteadofsoultoavoidmeaningswhichhavebecomeattachedtothewordsoul,butitisawkwardtodoso。

  Clumsyinddeedareallwordsthemomentthewoodenstageofcommonplacelifeisleft。Irestrainedpsyche,mysoul,tillIreachedandputmyfootonthegrassatthebeginningofthegreenhillitself。Movingupthesweetshortturf,ateverystepmyheartseemedtoobtainawiderhorizonoffeeling;witheveryinhalationofrichpureair,adeeperdesire。Theverylightofthesunwaswhiterandmorebrillianthere。BythetimeIhadreachedthesummitIhadentirelyforgottenthepettycircumstancesandtheannoyancesofexistence。Ifeltmyself,myself。Therewasanintrenchmentonthesummit,andgoingdownintothefosseIwalkedrounditslowlytorecoverbreath。Onthesouth—westernsidetherewasaspotwheretheouterbankhadpartiallyslipped,leavingagap。Theretheviewwasoverabroadplain,beautifulwithwheat,andinclosedbyaperfectamphitheatreofgreenhills。

  Throughthesehillstherewasonenarrowgroove,orpass,southwards,wherethewhitecloudsseemedtocloseinthehorizon。Woodshidthescatteredhamletsandfarmhouses,sothatIwasquitealone。Iwasutterlyalonewiththesunandtheearth。

  Lyingdownonthegrass,Ispokeinmysoultotheearth,thesun,theair,andthedistantseafarbeyondsight。Ithoughtoftheearth’sfirmness——I

  feltitbearmeup:throughthegrassycouchtherecameaninfluenceasifI

  couldfeelthegreatearthspeakingtome。Ithoughtofthewanderingair——itspureness,whichisitsbeauty;theairtouchedmeandgavemesomethingofitself。Ispoketothesea:thoughsofar,inmymindIsawit,greenattherimoftheearthandblueindeeperocean;Idesiredtohaveitsstrength,itsmysteryandglory。ThenIaddressedthesun,desiringthesoulequivalentofhislightandbrilliance,hisenduranceandunweariedrace。Iturnedtotheblueheavenover,gazingintoitsdepth,inhalingitsexquisitecolourandsweetness。Therichblueoftheunattainablefloweroftheskydrewmysoultowardsit,andthereitrested,Iforpurecolourisrestofheart。ByalltheseIprayed;Ifeltanemotionofthesoulbeyondalldefinition;prayerisapunythingtoit,andthewordisarudesigntothefeeling,butI

  knownoother。Bytheblueheaven,bytherollingsunburstingthroughuntroddenspace,anewoceanofethereverydayunveiled。Bythefreshandwanderingairencompassingtheworld;bytheseasoundingontheshore——thegreenseawhite—fleckedatthemarginandthedeepocean;bythestrongearthunderme。Then,returning,Iprayedbythesweetthyme,whoselittleflowersItouchedwithmyhand;bytheslendergrass;bythecrumbleofdrychalkyearthItookupandletfallthroughmyfingers。Touchingthecrumbleofearth,thebladeofgrass,thethymeflower,breathingtheearth—encirclingair,thinkingoftheseaandthesky,holdingoutmyhandforthesunbeamstotouchit,proneontheswardintokenofdeepreverence,thusIprayedthatImighttouchtotheunutterableexistenceinfinitelyhigherthandeity。

  Withalltheintensityoffeelingwhichexaltedme,alltheintensecommunionIheldwiththeearth,thesunandsky,thestarshiddenbythelight,withtheocean——innomannercanthethrillingdepthofthesefeelingsbewritten——withtheseIprayed,asiftheywerethekeysofaninstrument,ofanorgan,withwhichIswelledforththenoteofmysoul,redoublingmyownvoicebytheirpower。Thegreatsunburningwithlight;

  thestrongearth,dearearth;thewarmsky;thepureair;thethoughtofocean;theinexpressiblebeautyofallfilledmewitharapture,anecstasy,andinflatus。Withthisinflatus,too,I

  prayed。NexttomyselfIcameandrecalledmyself,mybodilyexistence。I

  heldoutmyhand,thesunlightgleamedontheskinandtheiridescentnails;Irecalledthemysteryandbeautyoftheflesh。IthoughtofthemindwithwhichIcouldseetheoceansixtymilesdistant,andgathertomyselfitsglory。Ithoughtofmyinnerexistence,thatconsciousnesswhichiscalledthesoul。These,thatis,myself——Ithrewintothebalancetoweighttheprayertheheavier。Mystrengthofbody,mindandsoul,Iflungintoit;Ibutforthmystrength;I

  wrestledandlaboured,andtoiledinmightofprayer。Theprayer,thissoul—emotionwasinitself—notforanobject—itwasapassion。Ihidmyfaceinthegrass,Iwaswhollyprostrated,Ilostmyselfinthewrestle,I

  wasraptandcarriedaway。

  Becomingcalmer,Ireturnedtomyselfandthought,reclininginraptthought,fullofaspiration,steepedtothelipsofmysoulindesire。I

  didnotthendefine,oranalyses,orunderstandthis。IseenowthatwhatI

  labouredforwassoul—life,moresoul—nature,tobeexalted,tobefullofsoul—learning。FinallyIrose,walkedhalfamileorsoalongthesummitofthehilleastwards,tosoothemyselfandcometothecommonwaysoflifeagain。Hadanyshepherdaccidentallyseenmelyingontheturf,hewouldonlyhavethoughtthatIwasrestingafewminutes;Imadenooutwardshow。

  WhocouldhaveimaginedthewhirlwindofpassionthatwasgoingonwithinmeasIreclinedthere!IwasgreatlyexhaustedwhenIreachedhome。

  OccasionallyIwentuponthehilldeliberately,deemingitgoodtodoso;

  then,again,thiscravingcarriedmeawayupthereofitself。Thoughtheprincipalfeelingwasthesame,therewerevariationsinthemodeinwhichitaffectedme。

  SometimesonlyingdownontheswardIfirstlookedupatthesky,gazingforalongtimetillIcouldseedeepintotheazureandmyeyeswerefullofthecolour;thenIturnedmyfacetothegrassandthyme,placingmyhandsateachsideofmyfacesoastoshutouteverythingandhidemyself。Havingdrunkdeeplyoftheheavenaboveandfeltthemostgloriousbeautyoftheday,andrememberingtheold,old,sea,which(asitseemedtome)wasbutjustyonderattheedge,Inowbecamelost,andabsorbedintothebeingorexistenceoftheuniverse。Ifeltdowndeepintotheearthunder,andhighaboveintothesky,andfartherstilltothesunandstars。Stillfartherbeyondthestarsintothehollowofspace,andlosingthusmyseparatenessofbeingcametoseemlikeapartofthewhole。ThenIwhisper—edtotheearthbeneath,throughthegrassandthyme,downintothedepthofitsear,andagainuptothestarryspacehidbehindtheblueofday。Travellinginaninstantacrossthedistantsea,Isawasifwithactualvisionthepalmsandcocoanuttrees,thebamboosofIndia,andthecedarsoftheextremesouth。

  Likealakewithislandstheoceanlaybeforeme,asclearandvividastheplainbeneathinthemidstoftheamphitheatreofhills。

  Withthegloryofthegreatsea,Isaid,withthefirm,solid,andsustainingearth;thedepth,distance,andexpanseofether;

  theage,tamelessness,andceaselessmotionoftheocean;thestars,andtheunknowninspace;byallthosethingswhicharemostpowerfulknowntome,andbythosewhichexist,butofwhichIhavenoideawhatever,Ipray。Further,bymyownsoul,thatsecretexistencewhichaboveallotherthingsbearsthenearestresemblancetotheidealofspirit,infinitelynearerthanearth,sun,orstar。Speakingbyaninclinationtowards,notinwords,mysoulpraysthatImayhavesomethingfromeachofthese,thatImaygatheraflowerfromthem,thatImayhaveinmyselfthesecretandmeaningoftheearth,thegoldensun,thelight,thefoam—fleckedsea。Letmysoulbecomeenlarged;Iamnotenough;Iamlittleandcontemptible。Idesireagreat—nessofsoul,anirradianceofmind,adeeperinsight,abroaderhope。Givemepowerofsoul,sothatImayactuallyeffectbyitswillthatwhichIstrivefor。

  Inwinter,thoughIcouldnotthenrestonthegrass,orstaylongenoughtoformanydefiniteexpression,Istillwentuptothehilloncenowandthen,foritseemedthattomerelyvisitthespotrepeatedallthatIhadpreviouslysaid。Butitwasnotonlythen。

  InsummerIwentoutintothefields,andletmysoulinspirethesethoughtsunderthetrees,standingagainstthetrunk,orlookingupthroughthebranchesatthesky。Iftreescouldspeak,hundredsofthemwouldsaythatIhadhadthesesoul—emotionsunderthem。Leaningagainsttheoak’smassivetrunk,andfeelingtheroughbarkandthelichenatmyback,lookingsouthwardsoverthegrassyfields,cowslip—yellow,atthewoodsontheslope,Ithoughtmydesireofdeepersoul—life。Orunderthegreenfirs,lookingupwards,theskywasmoredeeplyblueattheirtops;thenthebrakefernwasunroll—

  ing,thedovescooing,thethicketsastir,thelateash—leavescomingforth。Undertheshapelyroundedelms,bythehawthornbushesandhazel,everywherethesamedeepdesireforthesoul—nature;tohavefromallgreenthingsandfromthesunlighttheinnermeaningwhichwasnotknowntothem,thatImightbefulloflightasthewoodsofthesun’srays。Justtotouchthelichenedbarkofatree,ortheendofasprayprojectingoverthepathasIwalked,seemedtorepeatthesameprayerinme。

  Thelong—livedsummerdaysdriedandwarmedtheturfinthemeadows。Iusedtoliedowninsolitarycornersatfulllengthonmyback,soastofeeltheembraceoftheearth。Thegrassstoodhighaboveme,andtheshadowsofthetree—branchesdancedonmyface。Ilookedupatthesky,withhalfclosedeyestobearthedazzlinglight。Beesbuzzedoverme,sometimesabutterflypassed,therewasahumintheair,greenfinchessanginthehedge。Graduallyenteringintotheintenselifeofthesummerdays——alifewhichburnedaroundasifeverygrassbladeandleafwereatorch——Icametofeelthelongdrawnlifeoftheearthbackintothedimmestpast,whilethesunofthemomentwaswarmonme。Sesostrisonthemostancientsandsofthesouth,inancient,ancientdays,wasconsciousofhimselfandofthesun。Thissunlightlinkedmethroughtheagestothatpastconsciousness。Fromalltheagesmysouldesiredtotakethatsoul—lifewhichhadflowedthroughthemasthesunbeamshadcontinuallypouredonearth。Asthehotsandstakeuptheheat,sowouldItakeupthatsoul—energy。Dreamyinappearance,I

  wasbreathingfullofexistence;Iwasawareofthegrassblades,theflowers,theleavesonhawthornandtree。Iseemedtolivemorelargelythroughthem,asifeachwereaporethroughwhichIdrank。

  Thegrasshopperscalledandleaped,thegreenfinchessang,theblackbirdshappilyfluted,alltheairhummedwithlife。Iwasplungeddeepinexistence,andwithallthatexistenceIprayed。

  Througheverygrassbladeinthethousand,thousandgrasses;

  throughthemillionleaves,veinedandedge—cut,onbushandtree;throughthesong—notesandthemarkedfeathersofthebirds;throughtheinsects’humandthecolourofthebutterflies;throughthesoftwarmair,theflecksofcloudsdissolving——Iusedthemallforprayer。WithalltheenergythesunbeamshadpouredunweariedontheearthsinceSesostriswasconsciousofthemontheancientsands;withallthelifethathadbeenlivedbyvigorousmanandbeauteouswomansincefirstindearestGreecethedreamofthegodswaswoven;withallthesoul—lifethathadflowedalongstreamdowntome,IprayedthatImighthaveasoulmorethanequalto,farbeyondmyconceptionof,thesethingsofthepast,thepresent,andthefulnessofalllife。Notonlyequaltothese,butbeyond,higher,andmorepowerfulthanIcouldimagine。ThatImighttakefromalltheirenergy,grandeur,andbeauty,andgatheritintome。Thatmysoulmightbemorethanthecosmosoflife。

  Iprayedwiththeglowingcloudsofsun—setandthesoftlightofthefirststarcomingthroughthevioletsky。Atnightwiththestars,accordingtotheseason:nowwiththePleiades,nowwiththeSwanorburningSirius,andbroadOrion’swholeconstellation,redAldebaran,Arcturus,andtheNorthernCrown;

  withthemorningstar,thelightbringer,oncenowandthenwhenIsawit,awhite—goldballintheviolet—purplesky,orframedaboutwithpalesummervapourfloatingawayasredstreaksshothorizontallyintheeast。Adiffusedsaffronascendedintotheluminousupperazure。Thediskofthesunroseoverthehill,fluctuatingwiththrobsoflight;hischestheavedinfervourofbrilliance。Allthegloryofthesunrisefilledmewithbroaderandfurnace—likevehemenceofprayer。ThatImighthavethedeepestofsoul—life,thedeepestofall,deeperfarthanallthisgreatnessofthevisibleuniverseandevenoftheinvisible;thatImighthaveafulnessofsoultillnowunknown,andutterlybeyondmyownconception。

  Inthedeepestdarknessofthenightthesamethoughtroseinmymindasinthebrightlightofnoontide。WhatistherewhichI

  havenotusedtostrengthenthesameemotion?

  CHAPTERII

  SOMETIMESIwenttoadeep,narrowvalleyinthehills,silentandsolitary。

  Theskycrossedfromsidetoside,likearoofsupportedontwowallsofgreen。Sparrowschirpedinthewheatatthevergeabove,theircallsfallinglikethetwitteringofswallowsfromtheair。Therewasnoothersound。Theshortgrasswasdriedgreyasitgrewbytheheat;thesunhungoverthenarrowvaleasifithadbeenputtherebyhand。Burning,burning,thesunglowedontheswardatthefootoftheslopewherethesethoughtsburnedintome。Howmany,manyyears,howmanycyclesofyears,howmanybundlesofcyclesofyears,hadthesungloweddownthusonthathollow?

  Sinceitwasformedhowlong?Sinceitwaswornandshaped,groove—like,intheflanksofthehillsbymightyforceswhichhadebbed。Alonewiththesunwhichglowedontheworkwhenitwasdone,Isawbackthroughspacetotheoldtimeoftree—ferns,ofthelizardflyingthroughtheair,thelizard—dragonwallowinginseafoam,themountainouscreatures,twice—elephantine,feedingonland;allthecrookedsequenceoflife。Thedragon—flywhichpassedmetracedacontinuousdescentfromtheflymarkedonstoneinthosedays。Theimmensetimeliftedmelikeawaverollingunderaboat;mymindseemedtoraiseitselfastheswellofthecyclescame;itfeltstrongwiththepoweroftheages。WithallthattimeandpowerIprayed:thatImighthaveinmysoultheintellectualpartofit;theidea,thethought。Likeashuttlethemindshottoandfrothepastandthepresent,inaninstant。

  Fulltothebrimofthewondrouspast,Ifeltthewondrouspresent。Fortheday——theverymomentIbreathed,thatsecondoftimetheninthevalley,wasasmarvellous,asgrand,asallthathadgonebefore。Now,thismomentwasthewonderandtheglory。Now,thismomentwasexceedinglywonder—

  ful。Now,thismomentgivemeallthethought,alltheidea,alithesoulexpressedinthecosmosaroundme。Givemestillmore,fortheinterminableuniverse,pastandpresent,isbutearth;givemetheunknownsoul,whollyapartfromit,thesoulofwhichIknowonlythatwhenItouchtheground,whenthesunlighttouchesmyhand,itisnotthere。Thereforetheheartlooksintospacetobeawayfromearth。Withallthecycles,andthesunlightstreamingthroughthem,withallthatismeantbythepresent,Ithoughtinthedeepvaleandprayed。

  TherewasasecludedspringtowhichIsometimeswenttodrinkthepurewater,liftingitinthehollowofmyhand。Drinkingthelucidwater,clearaslightitselfinsolution,Iabsorbedthebeautyandpurityofit。Idrankthethoughtoftheelement;Idesiredsoul—naturepureandlimpid。WhenIsawthesparklingdewonthegrass——arainbowbrokenintodrops——itcalledupthesamethought—prayer。Thestormywindwhosesuddentwistslaidthetreesonthegroundwokethesamefeeling;myheartshoutedwithit。ThesoftsummerairwhichenteredwhenI

  openedmywindowinthemorningbreathedthesamesweetdesire。

  Atnight,beforesleeping,Ialwayslookedoutattheshadowytrees,thehillsloomingindistinctlyinthedark,astarseenbetweenthedriftingclouds;prayerofsoul—lifealways。Ichosethehighestroom,bareandgaunt,becauseasIsatatworkIcouldlookoutandseemoreofthewideearth,moreofthedomeofthesky,andcouldthinkmydesirethroughthese。

  Whenthecrescentofthenewmoonshone,alltheoldthoughtswererenewed。

  AllthesucceedingincidentsoftheyearrepeatedmyprayerasInotedthem。Thefirstgreenleafonthehawthorn,thefirstspikeofmeadowgrass,thefirstsongofthenightingale,thegreenearofwheat。Ispokeitwiththeearofwheatasthesuntinteditgolden;withthewhiteningbarley;againwiththeredgoldspotsofautumnonthebeech,thebuffoakleaves,andthegossamerdew—weighted。

  Allthelarksoverthegreencornsangitforme,allthedearswallows;thegreenleavesrustledit;thegreenbrookflagswavedit;theswallowstookitwiththemtorepeatitformeindistantlands。BytherunningbrookI

  meditatedit;aflashofsunlighthereinthecurve,aflickeryonderontheripples,thebirdsbathinginthesandyshallow,therushoffallingwater。

  Asthebrookranwindingthroughthemeadow,soonethoughtranwindingthroughmydays。

  ThesciencesIstudiednevercheckeditforamoment;nordidthebooksofoldphilosophy。Thesunwasstrongerthanscience;

  thehillsmorethanphilosophy。Twicecircumstancesgavemeabriefviewoftheseathenthepassionrosetumultuousasthewaves。Itwasverybittertometoleavethesea。

  SometimesIspentthewholedaywalkingoverthehillssearchingforit;asifthelabourofwalkingwouldforceitfromtheground。Iremainedinthewoodsforhours,amongtheashspraysandtheflutteringofthering—dovesattheirnests,thescentofpineshereandthere,dreamingmyprayer。

  Myworkwasmostuncongenialanduseless,buteventhensometimesagleamofsunlightonthewall,thebuzzofabeeatthewindow,wouldbringthethoughttome。Onlytomakememiserable,foritwasawasteofgoldentimewhiletherichsunlightstreamedonhillandplain。Therewasawrenchingofthemind,astrainingofthementalsinews;Iwasforcedtodothis,mymindwasyonder。Weariness,exhaustion,nerve—illnessoftenensued。Theinsultswhichareshoweredonpoverty,longstruggleoflabour,theheavypressureofcircumstances,theunhappiness,onlystayedtheexpressionofthefeeling。Itwasalwaysthere。OfteninthestreetsofLondon,astheredsunsetflamedoverthehouses,theoldthought,theoldprayer,came。

  Notonlyingrassyfieldswithgreenleafandrunningbrookdidthisconstantdesirefindrenewal。Moredeeplystillwithlivinghumanbeauty;theperfectionofform,thesimplefactofform,ravishedandalwayswillravishmeaway。Inthisliestheoutcomeandendofallthelovelinessofsunshineandgreenleaf,offlowers,purewater,andsweetair。Thisisembodimentandhighestex—pression;thescattered,uncertain,anddesignlesslovelinessoftreeandsunlightbroughttoshape。ThroughthisbeautyIprayeddeepestandlongest,anddowntothishour。Theshape——thedivineideaofthatshape——theswellingmuscleorthedreamylimb,strongsineworcurveofbust,AphroditeorHercules,itisthesame。ThatImayhavethesoul—life,thesoul—nature,letdivinebeautybringtomedivinesoul。SwartNubian,whiteGreek,delicateItalian,massiveScandinavian,inalltheexquisitepleasuretheformgave,andgives,tomeimmediatelybecomesintenseprayer。

  IfIcouldhavebeeninphysicalshapelikethese,howdespicableincomparisonIam;tobeshapelyofformissoinfinitelybeyondwealth,power,fame,allthatambitioncangive,thatthesearedustbeforeit。Unlessofthehumanform,nopicturesholdme;

  therestareflatsurfaces。So,too,withtheotherarts,theyaredead;thepotters,thearchitects,meaningless,stony,andsomerepellent,likethecoldtouchofporcelain。Noprayerwiththese。Onlythehumanforminartcouldraiseit,andmostinstatuary。Ihaveseensolittlegoodstatuary,itisaregrettome;still,thatIhaveisbeyondallotherart。Fragmentshere,abustyonder,thebrokenpiecesbroughtfromGreece,copies,plastercasts,amemoryofanAphrodite,ofaPersephone,ofanApollo,thatisall;butevendrawingsofstatuarywillraisetheprayer。

  Thesestatueswerelikemyselffullofathought,foreverabouttoburstforthasabud,yetsilentinthesameattitude。

  Givemetolivethesoul—lifetheyexpress。ThesmallestfragmentofmarblecarvedintheshapeofthehumanarmwillwakethedesireIfeltinmyhill—prayer。

  Timewenton;goodfortuneandsuccessneverforaninstantdeceivedmethattheywereinthemselvestobesought;onlymysoul—thoughtwasworthy。Furtheryearsbringingmuchsuffering,grindingtheverylifeout;newtroubles,renewedinsults,lossofwhathardlabourhadearned,thebitterquestion:Isitnotbettertoleapintothesea?These,too,havemadenoimpression;constantstilltotheformerprayermymindendures。

  ItwasmychiefregretthatIhadnotendeavouredtowritethesethings,togiveexpressiontothispassion。Iamnowtrying,butIseethatIshallonlyinpartsucceed。

  Thesameprayercomestomeatthisveryhour。Itisnowlesssolelyassociatedwiththesunandsea,hills,woods,orbeauteoushumanshape。Itisalwayswithin。Itrequiresnowaking;norenewal;itisalwayswithme。Iamit;thefactofmyexistenceexpressesit。AfteralongintervalIcametothehillsagain,thistimebythecoast。

  Ifoundadeephollowonthesideofagreathill,agreenconcaveopeningtothesea,whereIcouldrestandthinkinperfectquiet。Behindmewerefurzebushesdriedbytheheat;immediatelyinfrontdroppedthesteepdescentofthebowl—likehollowwhichreceivedandbroughtuptomethefaintsoundofthesummerwaves。Yonderlaytheimmenseplainofsea,thepalestgreenunderthecontinuedsunshine,asthoughtheheathadevaporatedthecolourfromit;therewasnodistincthorizon,aheat—mistincloseditandlookedfartherawaythanthehorizonwouldhavedone。Silenceandsunshine,seaandhillgraduallybroughtmymindintotheconditionofintenseprayer。Dayafterday,forhoursatatime,Icamethere,mysoul—desirealwaysthesame。PresentlyIbegantoconsiderhowIcouldputapartofthatprayerintoform,givingitanobject。CouldIbringitintosuchashapeaswouldadmitofactuallyworkinguponthelinesitindicatedforanygood?

  Oneevening,whenthebrightwhitestarinLyrawasshiningalmostatthezenithoverme,andthedeepconcavewasthemoreprofoundinthedusk,Iformulateditintothreedivisions。

  First,IdesiredthatImightdoorfindsomethingtoexaltthesoul,somethingtoenableittoliveitsownlife,amorepowerfulexistencenow。Secondly,Idesiredtobeabletodosomethingfortheflesh,tomakeadiscoveryorperfectamethodbywhichthefleshlybodymightenjoymorepleasure,longerlife,andsufferlesspain。Thirdly,toconstructamoreflexibleenginewithwhichtocarryintoexecutionthedesignofthewill。IcalledthistheLyraprayer,todistinguishitfromthefardeeperemotioninwhichthesoulwasaloneconcerned。

  Ofthethreedivisions,thelastwasofsolittleimportancethatitscarcelydeservedtobenamedinconjunctionwiththeothers。Mechanismincreasesconvenience——innodegreedoesitconferphysicalormoralperfection。Therudimentaryenginesemployedthousandsofyearsagoinraisingbuildingswereinthatrespectequaltothecomplicatedmachinesofthepresentday。Controlofironandsteelhasnotalteredorimprovedthebodilyman。Ievendebatedsometimewhethersuchathirddivisionshouldbeincludedatall。Ourbodiesarenowconveyedallroundtheworldwithease,butobtainnoadvantage。Astheystartsotheyreturn。Themostperfecthumanfamiliesofancienttimeswerealmoststationary,asthoseofGreece。PerfectionofformwasfoundinSparta;howsmallaspotcomparedtothosecontinentsoverwhichwearenowtakensoquickly!Suchperfectionofformmightperhapsagaindwell,contentedandcompleteinitself,onsuchastripoflandasIcouldseebetweenmeandthesandofthesea。Again,awatchkeepingcorrecttimeisnoguaranteethatthebearershallnotsufferpain。Theownerofthewatchmaybesoulless,withoutmind—fire,amerecreature。Nobenefittotheheartortothebodyaccruesfromthemostaccuratemechanism。

  HenceIdebatedwhetherthethirddivisionshouldbeincluded。

  ButIreflectedthattimecannotbeputbackonthedial,wecannotreturntoSparta;thereisanexistentstateofthings,andexistentmultitudes;andpossiblyamorepowerfulengine,flexibletothewill,mightgivethemthatfreedomwhichistheone,andtheoneonly,politicalorsocialideaIpossess。Forliberty,therefore,letitbeincluded。

  Fortheflesh,thisarmofmine,thelimbsofothersgracefullymoving,letmefindsomethingthatwillgivethemgreaterper—

  fection。Thatthebonesmaybefirmer,somewhatlargerifthatwouldbeanadvantage,certainlystronger,thatthecartilageandsinewsmaybemoreenduring,andthemusclesmorepowerful,somethingafterthemannerofthoseideallimbsandmusclessculpturedofold,theseinthefleshandreal。Thattheorgansofthebodymaybestrongerintheiraction,perfect,andlasting。Thattheexteriorfleshmaybeyetmorebeautiful;thattheshapemaybefiner,andthemotionsgraceful。ThesearethesoberestwordsIcanfind,purposelychosen;forIamsoraptinthebeautyofthehumanform,andsoearnestly,soinexpressibly,prayerfultoseethatformperfect,thatmyfullthoughtisnottobewritten。Unabletoexpressitfully,Ihaveconsidereditbesttoputitinthesimplestmannerofwords。Ibelieveinthehumanform;letmefindsomething,somemethod,bywhichthatformmayachievetheutmostbeauty。Itsbeautyislikeanarrow,whichmaybeshotanydistanceaccordingtothestrengthofthebow。Sotheideaexpressedinthehumanshapeiscapableofindefiniteexpansionandelevationofbeauty。

  Ofthemind,theinnerconsciousness,thesoul,myprayerdesiredthatImightdiscoveramodeoflifeforit,sothatitmightnotonlyconceiveofsuchalife,butactuallyenjoyitontheearth。Iwishedtosearchoutanewandhighersetofideasonwhichthemindshouldwork。Thesimileofanewbookofthesoulisthenearesttoconveythemeaning——abookdrawnfromthepresentandfuture,notthepast。Insteadofasetofideasbasedontradition,letmegivethemindanewthoughtdrawnstraightfromthewondrouspresent,directthisveryhour。Next,tofurnishthesoulwiththemeansofexecutingitswill,ofcarryingthoughtintoaction。Inotherwords,forthesoultobecomeapower。ThesethreeformedtheLyraprayer,ofwhichthetwofirstareimmeasurablytheinmoreimportant。Ibelieveinthehumanbeing,mindandflesh;formandsoul。

  IthappenedjustafterwardsthatIwenttoPevensey,andimmediatelytheancientwallsweptmymindbackseventeenhundredyearstotheeagle,thepilum,andtheshortsword。Thegreystones,thethinredbrickslaidbythosewhoseeyeshadseenCaesar’sRome,liftedmeoutofthegraspofhouse—life,ofmoderncivilisation,ofthoseminutiaewhichoccupythemoment。ThegreystonemademefeelasifIhadexistedfromthentillnow,sostronglydidIenterintoandseemyownlifeasifreflected。Myownexistencewasfocusedbackonme;

  Isawitsjoy,itsunhappiness,itsbirth,itsdeath,itspossibilitiesamongtheinfinite,aboveallitsyearningQuestion。Why?Seeingitthusclearly,andliftedoutofthemomentbytheforceofseventeencenturies,Irecognisedthefullmysteryandthedepthsofthingsintherootsofthedrygrassonthewall,inthegreenseaflowingnear。IsthereanythingIcando?Themysteryandthepossibilitiesarenotintherootsofthegrass,noristhedepthofthingsinthesea;theyareinmyexistence,inmysoul。Themarvelofexistence,almosttheterrorofit,wasflungonmewithcrushingforcebythesea,thesunshining,thedistanthills。Withalltheirponderousweighttheymademefeelmyself:allthetime,allthecenturiesmademefeelmyselfthismomentahundred—fold。I

  determinedthatIwouldendeavourtowritewhatIhadsolongthoughtof,andthesameeveningputdownonesentence。Therethesentenceremainedtwoyears。Itriedtocarryiton;IhesitatedbecauseIcouldnotexpressit:norcanInow,thoughindesperationIamthrowingtheserudestonesofthoughttogether,rudeasthoseoftheancientwall。

  CHAPTERIII

  THEREweregrass—growntumulionthehillstowhichofoldIusedtowalk,sitdownatthefootofoneofthem,andthink。Somewarriorhadbeeninterredthereintheantehistorictimes。Thesunofthesummermorningshoneonthedomeofsward,andtheaircamesoftlyupfromthewheatbelow,thetipsofthegrassesswayedasitpassedsighingfaintly,itceased,andthebeeshummedbytothethymeandheathbells。Ibecameabsorbedinthegloryoftheday,thesunshine,thesweetair,theyellowingcornturningfromitssappygreentosummer’snoonofgold,thelark’ssonglikeawaterfallinthesky。IfeltatthatmomentthatIwaslikethespiritofthemanwhosebodywasinterredinthetumulus;Icouldunderstandandfeelhisexistencethesameasmyown。HewasasrealtometwothousandyearsafterintermentasthoseIhadseeninthebody。Theabstractpersonalityofthedeadseemedasexistentasthought。Asmythoughtcouldslipbackthetwentycenturiesinamomenttotheforest—dayswhenhehurledthespear,orshotwiththebow,huntingthedeer,andcouldreturnagainasswiftlytothismoment,sohisspiritcouldendurefromthentillnow,andthetimewasnothing。

  Twothousandyearsbeingasecondtothesoulcouldnotcauseitsextinction。Itwasnolongertothesoulthanmythoughtoccupiedtome。

  Recognisingmyowninnerconsciousness,thepsyche,soclearly,deathdidnotseemtometoaffectthepersonality。Indissolutiontherewasnobridgelesschasm,nounfathomablegulfofseparation;thespiritdidnotimmediatelybecomeinaccesible,leapingataboundtoanimmeasurabledistance。Lookatanotherpersonwhileliving;

  thesoulisnotvisible,onlythebodywhichitanimates。Therefore,merelybecauseafterdeaththesoulisnotvisibleisnodemonstrationthatitdoesnotstilllive。

  Theconditionofbeingunseenisthesameconditionwhichoccurswhilethebodyisliving,sothatintrinsicallythereisnothingexceptionable,orsupernatural,inthelifeofthesoulafterdeath。Restingbythetumulus,thespiritofthemanwhohadbeeninterredtherewastomereallyalive,andveryclose。Thiswasquitenatural,asnaturalandsimpleasthegrasswavinginthewind,thebeeshumming,andthelarks’songs。

  OnlybythestrongesteffortofthemindcouldIunderstandtheideaofextinction;thatwassupernatural,requiringamiracle;theimmortalityofthesoulnatural,likeearth。ListeningtothesighingofthegrassIfeltimmortalityasIfeltthebeautyofthesummermorning,andIthoughtbeyondimmortality,ofotherconditions,morebeautifulthanexistence,higherthanimmortality。

  Thatthereisnoknowing,inthesenseofwrittenreasons,whetherthesoullivesonornot,Iamfullyaware。Idonothopeorfear。AtleastwhileIamlivingIhaveenjoyedtheideaofimmortality,andtheideaofmyownsoul。Ifthen,afterdeath,Iamresolvedwithoutexceptionintoearth,air,andwater,andthespiritgoesoutlikeaflame,stillIshallhavehadthegloryofthatthought。

  Ithappenedoncethatamanwasdrownedwhilebathing,andhisbodywasplacedinanouthousenearthegarden。Ipassedtheouthousecontinually,sometimesonpurposetothinkaboutit,anditalwaysseemedtomethatthemanwasstillliving。

  Separationisnottobecomprehended;thespiritofthemandidnotappeartohavegonetoaninconceivabledistance。AsmythoughtflashesitselfbackthroughthecenturiestotheluxuryofCanopus,andcanseethegildedcouchesofacityextinct,soitslipsthroughthefuture,andimmeasurabletimeinfrontisnobounandarytoit。Certainlythemanwasnotdeadtome。

  Sweetlythesummeraircameuptothetumulus,thegrasssighedsoftly,thebutterflieswentby,sometimesalightingonthegreendome。Twothousandyears!Summeraftersummerthebluebutterflieshadvisitedthemound,thethymehadflowered,thewindsighedinthegrass。Theazuremorninghadspreaditsarmsoverthelowtomb;andfullglowingnoonburnedonit;thepurpleofsunsetrosiedthesward。Stars,ruddyinthevapourofthesouthernhorizon,beamedatmidnightthroughthemysticsummernight,whichisduskyandyetfulloflight。Whitemistssweptupandhidit;dewsrestedontheturf;tenderharebellsdrooped;thewingsofthefinchesfannedtheair——fincheswhosecoloursfadedfromthewingshowmanycenturiesago!

  Brownautumndweltinthewoodsbeneath;therimeofwinterwhitenedthebeechclumpontheridge;againthebudscameonthewind—blownhawthornbushes,andintheeveningthebroadconstellationofOrioncoveredtheeast。Twothousandtimes!Twothousandtimesthewoodsgrewgreen,andring—dovesbuilttheirnests。Dayandnightfortwothousandyears——lightandshadowsweepingoverthemound——twothousandyearsoflabourbydayandslumberbynight。Mysterygleaminginthestars,pouringdowninthesunshine,speakinginthenight,thewonderofthesunandoffarspace,fortwentycenturiesroundaboutthislowandgreen—growndome。YetallthatmysteryandwonderisasnothingtotheThoughtthatliestherein,tothespiritthatIfeelsoclose。

  Realisingthatspirit,recognisingmyowninnerconsciousness,thepsyche,soclearly,Icannotunderstandtime。Itiseternitynow。Iaminthemidstofit。Itisaboutmeinthesunshine;Iaminit,asthebutterflyfloatsinthelight—ladenair。Nothinghastocome;itisnow。Nowiseternity;nowistheimmortallife。Herethismoment,bythistumulus,onearth,now;Iexistinit。Theyears,thecenturies,thecyclesareabsolutelynothing;itisonlyamomentsincethistumuluswasraised;inathousandyearsitwillstillbeonlyamoment。Tothesoulthereisnopastandnofuture;allisandwillbeever,innow。Forartificialpurposestimeismutuallyagreedon,butisreallynosuchthing。Theshadowgoesonuponthedial,theindexmovesroundupontheclock,andwhatisthedifference?Nonewhatever。Iftheclockhadneverbeensetgoing,whatwouldhavebeenthedifference?

  Theremaybetimefortheclock,theclockmaymaketimeforitself;thereisnoneforme。

  Idipmyhandinthebrookandfeelthestream;inaninstanttheparticlesofwaterwhichfirsttouchedmehavefloatedyardsdownthecurrent,myhandremainsthere。Itakemyhandaway,andtheflow——thetime——ofthebrookdoesnotexisttome。

  Thegreatclockofthefirmament,thesunandthestars,thecrescentmoon,theearthcirclingtwothousandtimes,isnomoretomethantheflowofthebrookwhenmyhandiswithdrawn;mysoulhasneverbeen,andnevercanbe,dippedintime。Timehasneverexisted,andneverwill;itisapurelyartificialarrangement。Itiseternitynow,italwayswaseternity,andalwayswillbe。BynopossiblemeanscouldIgetintotimeifItried。Iamineternitynowandmustthereremain。Hastenot,beatrest,thisNowiseternity。Becausetheideaoftimehasleftmymind——ifeverithadanyholdonit——tomethemaninterredinthetumulusislivingnowasIlive。

  Wearebothineternity。

  Thereisnoseparation—nopast;eternity,theNow,iscontinuous。WhenallthestarshaverevolvedtheyonlyproduceNowagain。ThecontinuityofNowisforever。Sothatitappearstomepurelynatural,andnotsupernatural,thatthesoulwhosetemporaryframewasinterredinthismoundshouldbeexistingasIsitonthesward。Howinfinitelydeeperisthoughtthanthemillionmilesofthefirmament!Thewonderishere,notthere;now,nottobe,nowalways。Thingsthathavebeenmiscalledsupernaturalappeartomesimple,morenaturalthannature,thanearth,thansea,orsun。ItisbeyondtellingmorenaturalthatIshouldhaveasoulthannot,thatthereshouldbeimmortality;Ithinkthereismuchmorethanimmortality。Itismatterwhichisthesupernatural,anddifficultofunder—standing。WhythisclodofearthIholdinmyhand?Whythiswaterwhichdropssparklingfrommyfingersdippedinthebrook?

  Whyaretheyatall?When?How?Whatfor?Matterisbeyondunderstanding,mysterious,impenetrable;Itouchiteasily,comprehendit,no。Soul,mind——thethought,theidea——iseasilyunderstood,itunderstandsitselfandisconscious。

  Thesupernaturalmiscalled,thenaturalintruth,isthereal。

  Tomeeverythingissupernatural。Howstrangethatconditionofmindwhichcannotacceptanythingbuttheearth,thesea,thetangibleuniverse!

  Withoutthemisnamedsupernaturalthesetomeseemincomplete,unfinished。

  Withoutsoulallthesearedead。ExceptwhenIwalkbythesea,andmysoulisbyit,theseaisdead。Thoseseasbywhichnomanhasstood——whichnosoulhasbeen——whetheronearthortheplanets,aredead。Nomatterhowmajestictheplanetrollsinspace,unlessasoulbethereitisdead。AsI

  moveaboutinthesunshineIfeelinthemidstofthesupernatural:inthemidstofimmortalthings。Itisimpossibbletowresttheminddowntothesamelawsthatrulepiecesoftimber,water,orearth。Theydonotcontrolthesoul,howeverrigidlytheymaybindmatter。SofullamIalwaysofasenseoftheimmortalitynowatthismomentroundaboutme,thatitwouldnotsurprisemeintheleastifacircumstanceoutsidephysicalexperienceoccurred。Itwouldseemtomequitenatural。Givethesoulthepoweritconceives,andtherewouldbenothingwonderfulinit。

  Icanseenothingastonishinginwhatarecalledmiracles。

  Onlythosewhoaremesmerisedbymattercanfindadifficultyinsuchevents。Iamawarethattheevidenceformiraclesislogicallyandhistoricallyuntrustworthy;Iamnotdefendingrecordedmiracles。MypointisthatinprincipleIseenoreasonatallwhytheyshouldnottakeplacethisday。Idonotevensaythatthereareoreverhavebeenmiracles,butImaintainthattheywouldbeperfectlynatural。Thewonderratheristhattheydonothappenfrequently。Considerthelimitlessconceptionsofthesoul:letitpossessbutthepowertorealisethoseconceptionsforonehour,andhowlittle,howtriflingwouldbethehelpingoftheinjuredorthesicktoregainhealthandhappiness——merelytothinkit。Asoul—workwouldrequirebutathought。

  Soul—workisanexpressionbettersuitedtomymeaningthan\"miracle,\"atermlikeothersintowhichaspecialsensehasbeeninfused。

  WhenIconsiderthatIdwellthismomentintheeternalNowthathaseverbeenandwillbe,thatIaminthemidstofimmortalthingsthismoment,thatthereprobablyareSoulsasinfinitelysuperiortomineasminetoapieceoftimber,whatthen,pray,isa\"miracle\"?Ascommonlyunderstood,a\"miracle\"isamerenothing。Icanconceivesoul—worksdonebysimplewillorthoughtathousandtimesgreater。

  Imarvelthattheydonothappenthismoment。Theair,thesunlight,thenight,allthatsurroundsmeseemscrowdedwithinexpressiblepowers,withtheinfluenceofSouls,orexistences,sothatIwalkinthemidstofimmortalthings。Imyselfamalivingwitnessofit。

  SometimesIhaveconcentratedmyself,anddrivenawaybycontinuedwillallsenseofoutwardappearances,lookingstraightwiththefullpowerofmymindinwardsonmyself。

  Ifind\"I\"amthere;an\"I\"Idonotwhollyunderstand,orknow——somethingistheredistinctfromearthandtimber,fromfleshandbones。Recognisingit,Ifeelonthemarginofalifeunknown,verynear,almosttouchingit:

  onthevergeofpowerswhichifIcouldgraspwouldgivemeanimmensebreadthofexistence,anabilitytoexecutewhatInowonlyconceive;mostprobablyoffarmorethanthat。Toseethat\"I\"istoknowthatIamsurroundedwithimmortalthings。If,whenIdie,that\"I\"alsodies,andbecomesextinct,stilleventhenIhavehadtheexaltationoftheseideas。

  Howmanywordsithastakentodescribesobrieflythefeelingsandthethoughtsthatcametomebythetumulus;thoughtsthatsweptpastandweregone,andweresucceededbyotherswhileyettheshadowofthemoundhadnotmovedfromonethymeflowertoanother,notthebreadthofagrassblade。Softlybreathedthesweetsouthwind,gentlytheyellowcornwavedbeneath;theancient,ancientsunshoneonthefreshgrassandtheflower,myheartopenedwideasthebroad,broadearth。Ispreadmyarmsout,layingthemonthesward,seizingthegrass,totakethefulnessofthedays。CouldIhavemyownwayafterdeathIwouldbeburnedonapyreofpine—wood,opentotheair,andplacedonthesummitofthehills。Thenletmyashesbescatteredabroad——notcollectedurnanurn——freelysownwideandbroadcast。Thatisthenaturalintermentofman——ofmanwhoseThoughtatleasthasbeenamongtheimmortals;intermentintheelements。Burialisnotenough,itdoesnotgivesufficientsolutionintotheelementsspeedily;afurnaceisconfined。Thehighopenairofthetopmosthill,thereletthetawnyflamelickupthefragmentcalledthebody;therecasttheashesintothespaceitlongedforwhileliving。Suchaluxuryofintermentisonlyforthewealthy;IfearIshallnotbeabletoaffordit。Elsethesmokeofmyresolutionintotheelementsshouldcertainlyariseintimeonthehill—top。

  Thesilkygrasssighsasthewindcomescarryingthebluebutterflymorerapidlythanhiswings。Alargehumble—beeburrsroundthegreendomeagainstwhichIrest;myhandsarescentedwiththyme。Thesweetnessoftheday,thefulnessoftheearth,thebeauteousearth,howshallIsayit?

  Threethingsonlyhavebeendiscoveredofthatwhichconcernstheinnerconsciousnesssincebeforewrittenhistorybegan。Threethingsonlyintwelvethousandwritten,orsculptured,years,andinthedumb,dimtimebeforethen。ThreeideastheCavemenprimevalwrestedfromtheunknown,thenightwhichisroundusstillindaylight——theexistenceofthesoul,im—

  mortality,thedeity。Thesethingsfound,prayerfollowedasasequentialresult。Sincethennothingfurtherhasbeenfoundinallthetwelvethousandyears,asifmenhadbeensatisfiedandhadfoundthesetosuffice。Theydonotsufficeme。Idesiretoadvancefurther,andtowrestafourth,andevenstillmorethanafourth,fromthedarknessofthought。Iwantmoreideasofsoul—life。Iamcertainthattherearemoreyettobefound。Agreatlife——anentirecivilisation——liesjustoutsidethepaleofcommonthought。

  Citiesandcountries,inhabitants,intelligences,culture——anentirecivilisation。Exceptbyillustrationsdrawnfromfamiliarthings,thereisnowayofindicatinganewidea。Idonotmeanactualcities,actualcivilisation。

  Suchlifeisdifferentfromanyyetimagined。Anexusofideasexistsofwhichnothingisknown——avastsystemofideas——acosmosofthought。ThereisanEntity,aSoul—Entity,asyetunrecognised。These,rudelyexpressed,constitutemyFourthIdea。Itisbeyond,orbeside,thethreediscoveredbytheCavemen;itisinadditiontotheexistenceofthesoul;inadditiontoimmortality;andbeyondtheideaofthedeity。Ithinkthereissomethingmorethanexistence。

  Thereisanimmenseoceanoverwhichthemindcansail,uponwhichthevesselofthoughthasnotyetbeenlaunched。Ihopetolaunchit。Themindofsomanythousandyearshasworkedroundandroundinsidethecircleofthesethreeideasasaboatonaninlandlake。Letushaulitoverthebeltofland,launchontheocean,andsailoutwards。

  Thereissomuchbeyondallthathaseveryetbeenimagined。

  AsIwritethesewords,intheverymoment,Ifeelthatthewholeair,thesunshineoutyonderlightinguptheploughedearth,thedistantsky,thecircumambientether,andthatfarspace,isfullofsoul—secrets,soul—life,thingsoutsidetheexperienceofalltheages。ThefactofmyownexistenceasIwrite,asIexistatthissecond,issomarvellous,somiracle—like,strange,andsupernaturaltome,thatIunhesitatinglyconcludeIamalwaysonthemarginoflifeillimitable,andthattherearehigherconditionsthanexistence。Everythingaroundissupernatural;everythingsofullofunexplainedmeaning。

  TwelvethousandyearssincetheCavemanstoodatthemouthofhiscavernandgazedoutatthenightandthestars。Helookedagainandsawthesunrisebeyondthesea。Hereposedinthenoontideheatundertheshadeofthetrees,heclosedhiseyesandlookedintohimself。Hewasfacetofacewiththeearth,thesun,thenight;facetofacewithhimself。Therewasnothingbetween;nowallofwrittentradition;nobuiltupsystemofculture——hisnakedmindwasconfrontedbynakedearth。Hemadethreeidea—discoveries,wrestingthemfromtheunknown;theexistenceofhissoul,immortality,thedeity。Now,to—day,asIwrite,IstandinexactlythesamepositionastheCaveman。

  Writtentradition,systemsofculture,modesofthought,haveformenoexistence。Ifevertheytookanyholdofmyminditmusthavebeenveryslight;theyhavelongagobeenerased。

  >Fromearthandseaandsun,fromnight,thestars,fromday,thetrees,thehills,frommyownsoul——fromtheseIthink。I

  standthismomentatthemouthoftheancientcave,facetofacewithnature,facetofacewiththesupernatural,withmyself。Mynakedmindconfrontstheunknown。Iseeasclearlyasthenoondaythatthisisnotall;

  Iseeotherandhigherconditionsthanexistence;Iseenotonlytheexistenceofthesoul,immortality,but,inaddition,Irealiseasoul—lifeillimitable;Irealisetheexistenceofacosmosofthought;I

  realisetheexistenceofaninexpressibleentityinfinitelyhigherthandeity。IstrivetogiveutterancetoaFourthIdea。

  Theveryideathatthereisanotherideaissomethinggained。

  ThethreefoundbytheCavemenarebutsteppingstones:firstlinksofanendlesschain。Atthemouthoftheancientcave,facetofacewiththeunknown,theyprayed。Proneinheartto—

  dayIpray,Givemethedeepestsoul—life。

  CHAPTERIV

  THEwindsighsthroughthegrass,sighsinthesunshine;ithasdriftedthebutterflyeastwardsalongthehill。Afewyardsawaythereliestheskullofalambontheturf,whiteandbleached,pickedcleanlongsincebycrowsandants。Likethefaintrippleofthesummerseasoundinginthehollowoftheear,sothesweetairripplesinthegrass。Theashesofthemaninterredinthetumuiusareindistinguishable;theyhavesunkawaylikerainintotheearth;sohisbodyhasdisappeared。

  Iamundernodelusion;Iamfullyawarethatnodemonstrationcanbegivenofthethreestepping—stonesoftheCavemen。Thesoulisinscrutable;itisnotinevidencetoshowthatitexists;immortalityisnottangible。FullwellIknowthatreasonandknowledgeandexperiencetendtodisproveallthree;

  thatexperiencedeniesanswertoprayer。Iamundernodelusionwhatever;IgraspdeathfirmlyinconceptionasIcangraspthisbleachedbone;utterextinction,annihilation。Thatthesoulisaproductatbestoforganiccomposition;thatitgoesoutlikeaflame。Thismaybetheend;mysoulmaysinklikerainintotheearthanddisappear。Windandearth,sea,andnightandday,whatthen?Letmysoulbebutaproduct,whatthen?Isayitisnothingtome;thisonlyIknow,thatwhileIhavelived——now,thismoment,whileI

  live——Ithinkimmortality,IliftmymindtoaFourthIdea。IfIpassintoutteroblivion,yetIhavehadthat。

  TheoriginalthreeideasoftheCavemenbecameencumberedwithsuperstition;ritualgrewup,andceremony,andlongranksofsoulswerepaintedonpapyriwaitingtobeweighedinthescales,andtobepunishedorrewarded。Thesecobwebsgrotesquehavesulliedtheoriginaldiscoveriesandcastthemintodiscredit。Erasethemaltogether,andconsideronlytheunderlyingprinciples。Theprinciplesdonotgofarenough,butIshallnotdiscardallofthemforthat。Evensupposingthepureprinciplestobeillusions,andannihilationtheend,eventhenitisbetter——itissomethinggainedtohavethoughtthem。Thoughtislife;tohavethoughtthemistohavelivedthem。

  Acceptingtwoofthemastrueinprinciple,thenIsaythatthesearebutthethreshold。Fortwelvethousandyearsnoefforthasbeenmadetogetbeyondthatthreshold。Thesearebuttheprimerofsoul—life;themeresthieroglyphicschippedout,alittleshapegiventotheunknown。

  Notto—morrowbutto—day。Nottheto—morrowofthetumulus,thehourofthesunshinenow。Thismomentgivemetolivesoul—life,notonlyafterdeath。

  Nowiseternity,nowIaminthemidstofimmortality;nowthesupernaturalcrowdsaroundme。Openmymind,givemysoultosee,letmeliveitnowonearth,whileIheartheburringofthelargerbees,thesweetairinthegrass,andwatchtheyellowwheatwavebeneathme。Sunandearthandsea,nightandday——thesearetheleastofthings。Givemesoul—life。

  Thereisnothinghumaninnature。Theearth,thoughlovedsodearly,wouldletmeperishontheground,andneitherbringforthfoodnorwater。Burningintheskythegreatsun,ofwhosecompanyIhavebeensofond,wouldmerelyburnonandmakenomotiontoassistme。Thosewhohavebeeninanopenboatatseawithoutwaterhaveprovedthemerciesofthesun,andofthedeitywhodidnotgivethemonedropofrain,dyinginmiseryunderthesameraysthatsmilesobeautifullyontheflowers。Inthesouththesunistheenemy;nightandcoolnessandrainarethefriendsofman。Asforthesea,itoffersussaltwaterwhichwecannotdrink。Thetreescarenothingforus;thehillIvisitedsooftenindaysgonebyhasnotmissedme。Thesunscorchesman,andwillinghisnakedstateroasthimalive。Theseaandthefreshwateralikemakenoefforttoupholdhimifhisvesselfounders;hecastsuphisarmsinvain,theycometotheirleveloverhishead,fillingthespothisbodyoccupied。Ifhefallsfromaclifftheairparts;theearthbeneathdasheshimtopieces。

  Waterhecandrink,butitisnotproducedforhim;howmanythousandshaveperishedforwantofit?Somefruitsareproducedwhichhecaneat,buttheydonotproducethemselvesforhim;merelyforthepurposeofcontinuingtheirspecies。Inwild,tropicalcountries,atthefirstglancethereappearstobesomeconsiderationforhim,butitisonthesurfaceonly。Thelionpouncesonhim,therhinoceroscrusheshim,theserpentbites,insectstorture,diseasesrackhim。Diseaseworkeditsdrearywillevenamongtheflower—crownedPolynesians。Returningtoourowncountry,thisverythymewhichscentsmyfingersdidnotgrowforthatpurpose,butforitsown。Sodoesthewheatbeneath;weutiliseit,butitsoriginalandnativepurposewasforitself。Bynightitisthesameasbyday;thestarscarenot,theypursuetheircoursesrevolving,andwearenothingtothem。Thereisnothinghumaninthewholeroundofnature。

  Allnature,alltheuniversethatwecansee,isabsolutelyindifferenttous,andexcepttoushumanlifeisofnomorevaluethangrass。Iftheentirehumanraceperishedatthishour,whatdifferencewoulditmaketotheearth?Whatwouldtheearthcare?Asmuchasfortheextinctdodo,orforthefateoftheelephantnowgoing。

  Onthecontrary,agreatpart,perhapsthewhole,ofnatureandoftheuniverseisdistinctlyanti—human。Theterminhumandoesnotexpressmymeaning,anti—humanisbetter;outre—human,inthesenseofbeyond,outside,almostgrotesqueinitsattitudetowards,wouldnearlyconveyit。Everythingisanti—human。Howextraordinary,strange,andincomprehensiblearethecreaturescapturedoutofthedepthsofthesea!Thedistortedfishes;theghastlycuttles;thehideouseel—likeshapes;thecrawlingshell—encrustedthings;

  thecentipede—likebeings;monstrousforms,toseewhichgivesashocktothebrain。Theyshockthemindbecausetheyexhibitanabsenceofdesign。Thereisnoideainthem。

  Theyhavenoshape,form,grace,orpurpose;theycallupavaguesenseofchaos,chaoswhichthemindrevoltsfrom。Itwouldbearelieftothethoughtiftheyceasedtobe,andutterlydisappearedfromthesea。Theyarenotinimicalofintenttowardsman,noteventheshark;buttherethesharkis,andthatisenough。Thesemiserablyhideousthingsoftheseaarenotanti—humaninthesenseofpersecution,theyareoutside,theyareultraandbeyond。Itislikelookingintochaos,anditisvividbecausethesecreatures,interredaliveahundredfathomsdeep,areseldomseen;sothatthemindseesthemasifonlythatmomenttheyhadcomeintoexistence。Usehasnothabituatedittothem,sothattheiranti—humancharacterisatonceapparent,andstaresatuswithglassyeye。

  Butitisthesameinrealitywiththecreaturesontheearth。

  Therearesomeoftheseevennowtowhichusehasnotaccus—

  tomedthemind。Such,forinstance,asthetoad。Atitsshapelessshapeappearinginanunexpectedcornermanypeoplestartandexclaim。Theyareawarethattheyshallreceivenoinjuryfromit,yetitaffrightsthem,itsendsashocktothemind。Thereasonliesinitsobviouslyanti—humancharacter。

  Allthedesignless,formlesschaosofchance—directedmatter,withoutideaorhumanplan,squatsthereembodiedinthepathway。Bywatchingthecreature,andconvincingthemindfromobservationthatitisharmless,andevenhasuses,thehorrorwearsaway。Butstillremainstheformtowhichthemindcanneverreconcileitself。Carvedinwooditisstillrepellent。

  Orsuddenlythereisarustlelikeafainthissinthegrass,andagreensnakeglidesoverthebank。Thebreathinthechestseemstoloseitsvitality;foraninstantthenervesrefusetotransmittheforceoflife。Theglidingyellow—streakedwormissoutterlyopposedtotheeverpresentIdeainthemind。Custommayreducethehorror,butnolongponderingcaneverbringthatcreaturewithinthepaleofthehumanIdea。Thesearesodistinctlyoppositeandanti—humanthatthousandsofyearshavenotsufficedtosoftentheiroutline。Variousinsectsandcreepingcreaturesexcitethesamesenseinlesserdegrees。

  Animalsandbirdsingeneraldonot。Thetigerisdreaded,butcausesnodisgust。Theexceptionisinthosethatfeedonoffal。Horsesanddogswelove;wenotonlydonotrecogniseanythingoppositeinthem,wecometolovethem。

  Theyareusefultous,theyshowmoreorlesssympathywithus,theypossess,especiallythehorse,acertaingraceofmovement。

  Agloss,asitwere,isthrownoverthembytheseattributesandbyfamiliarity。Theshapeofthehorsetotheeyehasbecomeconventional:itisaccepted。Yetthehorseisnotinanysensehuman。Couldwelookatitsuddenly,withoutpreviousacquaintance,asatstrangefishesinatank,theultra—humancharacterofthehorsewouldbeapparent。Itisthecurvesoftheneckandbodythatcarrythehorsepastwithoutadversecomment。Examinethehindlegsindetail,andthecuriousbackwardmotion,theshapeandanti—humancurvesbecomeapparent。

  Dogstakeusbytheirintelligence,buttheyhavenohand;passthehandoverthedog’shead,andtheshapeoftheskulltothesenseoffeelingisalmostasrepellentastheformofthetoadtothesenseofsight。Wehavegraduallygatheredaroundusallthecreaturesthatarelessmarkedlyanti—human,horsesanddogsandbirds,buttheyarestillthemselves。Theyoriginallyexistedlikethewheat,forthemselves;weutilisethem,buttheyarenotofus。

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