第3章
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  \"I’mhere,\"pipedupMrs。Lot。\"ButI’mnotthatkindofasalt。\"

  \"Iampresent,\"saidMrs。Noah。\"ThoughwhyIevercameIdon’tknow,forIvowedtheminuteIsetmyfootonAraratthatdrylandwasgoodenoughforme,andthatI’dneverstepaboardanotherboataslongasIlived。If,however,nowthatIamhere,Icangiveyouthebenefitofmynauticalexperience,youareallperfectlywelcometoit。\"

  \"I’msurewe’reverymuchobligedfortheoffer,\"saidPortia,\"butintheemergencywhichhasarisenwecannotsayhowmuchobligedweareuntilweknowwhatyourexperienceamountedto。Beforerelyinguponyouweoughttoknowhowfarthatreliancecango——notthatI

  lackconfidenceinyou,mydearmadam,butthatinanhourofperilonemusttakecare,torelyupontheoak,notuponthereed。\"

  \"Thepointisproperlytaken,\"saidElizabeth,\"andIwishtosayherethatIameasierinmymindwhenIrealizethatwehavewithussolevel—headedapersonastheladywhohasjustspoken。Shehasspokentrulyandtothepoint。IfIweretobecomequeenagain,I

  shouldmakehermyattorney—general。Wemustnotgoaheadimpulsively,butlookatallthingsinacalm,judicialmanner。\"

  \"Whichisprettyhardworkwithasealikethison,\"remarkedOphelia,faintly,forshewasgettingatriflesallow,asindeedshemight,fortheHouse—boatwasbeginningtorolltremendouslywithnoalleviationsaveanoccasionalpitch,whichwasanalleviationonlyinthesensethatitgavevarietytotheirdiscomfort。\"Idon’tbelieveachief—justicecouldlookatthingscalmlyandinajudicialmannerifhefeltasIdo。\"

  \"Poordear!\"saidthematronlyMrs。Noah,sympathetically。\"Iknowexactlyhowyoufeel。Ihavebeentheremyself。ThefourthdayoutIandmywholefamilywereinthesamecondition,exceptthatNoah,myhusband,wassoveryfargonethatIcouldnotaffordtoyield。I

  nursedhimforsixdaysbeforehegothissea—legson,andthensuccumbedmyself。\"

  \"But,\"gaspedOphelia,\"thatdoesn’thelpme—

  \"Itdidmyhusband,\"saidMrs。Noah。

  \"Whenheheardthattheboyswereseasicktoo,heactuallylaughedandbegantogetbetterrightaway。Thereisreallyonlyonecureforthemaldemer,andthatisthefunofknowingthatsomebodyelseissufferingtoo。Ifsomeofyouladieswouldkindlyyieldtotheseductionsofthesea,Ithinkwecouldgetthispoorgirlonherfeetinaninstant。\"

  UnfortunatelyforpoorOphelia,therewasnoimmediateresponsetothisappeal,andtheunhappyyoungwomanwasforcedtosufferinsolitude。

  \"Wehavenotimeforuntimelydiversionsofthissort,\"snappedXanthippe,withascornfulglanceatthesufferingOphelia,who,havingretiredtoacomfortableloungeatanendoftheroom,wasevidentlyimproving。\"Ihavenosympathywiththishabitsomeofmysexseemtohaveacquiredofsuccumbingtoanimmediatesensationofthisnature。\"

  \"Ihopetobepardonedforinterrupting,\"saidMrs。Noah,withagreatdealoffirmness,\"butIwishMrs。Socratestounderstandthatitisratherearlyinthevoyageforhertolaydownanysuchbroadprincipleasthat,andforherownsaketo—morrow,Ithinkitwouldbewellifshewithdrewthesentiment。Therearecertainthingsaboutasea—voyagethataremoreorlessbeyondthecontrolofmanorwoman,andanyonewhochidesthatpoorsufferingchildonyondersofaoughttobemoreconfidentthanMrs。Socratescanpossiblybethatwithinanhourshewillnotbeasbadlyoff。Peoplewholiveinglasshousesshouldnotthrowdice。\"

  \"Ishallneveryieldtoanythingsoundignifiedasseasickness,letmetellyouthat,\"retortedXanthippe。\"Furthermore,theproverbisnotastheladyhasquotedit。’Peoplewholiveinglasshousesshouldnotthrowstones’istheproperversion。\"

  \"Iwasnotquoting,\"returnedMrs。Noah,calmly。\"WhenIsaidthatpeoplewholiveinglasshousesshouldnotthrowdice,ImeantpreciselywhatIsaid。Peoplewholiveinglasshousesshouldnottakechances。Inassumingwithsuchvaingloriouspositivenessthatshewillnotbeseasick,theladywhohasjustspokenisgivingtremendousodds,astheboysusedtosayontheArkwhenwegatheredaboutthetableatnightandbegantomakesmallwagersontheday’srun。\"

  \"Ithinkwehadbettersuspendthisdiscussion,\"suggestedCleopatra。

  \"ItisofnoimmediateinteresttoanyonebutOphelia,andIfancyshedoesnotcaretodwelluponitatanygreatlength。Itismoreimportantthatweshoulddecideuponourfuturecourseofaction。Inthefirstplace,thequestioniswhothesepeopleupondeckare。Iftheyarethemembersoftheclub,weareallright。Theywillgiveusourscare,andlandussafelyagainatthepier。Inthateventitisourwomanlydutytomanifestnoconcern,andtoseemtobeawareofnothingunusualintheproceeding。Itwouldneverdotoletthemthinkthattheirjokehasbeenagoodone。If,ontheotherhand,asIfear,wearethevictimsofsomehordeofruffians,whohavepounceduponusunawares,andaregoingintothebusinessofabductiononawholesalebasis,wemustmeettreacherywithtreachery,strategywithstrategy。I,forone,amperfectlywillingtomakeeverymanonboardwalktheplank;havingconfidenceintheseawomanshipofMrs。Noahandherabilitytosteerusintoport。\"

  \"Iamquiteinaccordwiththeseviews,\"putinMadameRecamier,\"andImoveyou,Mrs。President,thatweorganizeaseriesofsub—

  committees——oneontreachery,withLucretiaBorgiaandDelilahasmembers;oneonstrategy,consistingofPortiaandQueenElizabeth;

  oneonnavigation,headedbyMrs。Noah;withafinalsub—committeeonreconnoitre,withCassandratolookforward,andMrs。Lottolookaft——allofthesesubordinatedtoacentralcommitteeofsafetyheadedbyCleopatraandCalpurnia。Therestofuscanthencommitourselvesandourinterestsunreservedlytotheseladies,andproceedtoenjoyourselveswithoutthoughtofthemorrow。\"

  \"Isecondthemotion,\"saidOphelia,\"withtheamendmentthatMadameRecamierbeappointedchair—ladyofanothersub—committee,onentertainment。\"

  Theamendmentwasaccepted,andthemotionput。Itwascarriedwithanenthusiasticaye,andtheorganizationwascomplete。

  Thevariouscommitteesretiredtotheseveralcornersoftheroomtodiscusstheirindividuallinesofaction,whenashadowwasobservedtoobscurethemoonlightwhichhadbeenstreaminginthroughthewindow。ThefacesofCalpurniaandCleopatrablanchedforaninstant,as,immediatelyfollowinguponthisapparition,alargebundlewashurledthroughtheopenportintothemiddleoftheroom,andtheshadowvanished。

  \"Isitabomb?\"criedseveraloftheladiesatonce。

  \"Nonsense!\"saidMadameRecamier,jumpinglightlyforward。\"Amandoesn’tmindblowingawomanup,buthe’llneverblowhimselfup。

  We’resafeenoughinthatrespect。Thethinglookstomelikeabundleofillustratedpapers。\"

  \"That’swhatitis,\"saidCleopatrawhohadbeeninvestigating。

  \"It’sratheradiscourteousbitofcourtesy,tossingtheminthroughthewindowthatway,Ithink,butIpresumetheymeanwell。Dearme,\"sheadded,as,havinguntiedthebundle,sheheldoneoftheopenpapersupbeforeher,\"howinteresting!AllthelatestParisfashions。Humph!Lookatthosesleeves,Elizabeth。Whatanimpregnablefortressyouwouldhavebeenwiththosesleevesaddedtoyourruffs!\"

  \"Ishouldthinkthey’dbeverybecoming,\"putinCassandra,standingonhertip—toesandlookingoverCleopatra’sshoulder。\"ThatWatteauisn’tbad,either,isit,now?\"

  \"No,\"remarkedCalpurnia。\"IwonderhowaWatteaubacklikethatwouldgoonmybluealpaca?\"

  \"Verynicely,\"saidElizabeth。\"Howmanygoreshasit?\"

  \"Five,\"observedCalpurnia。\"OnemorethanCaesar’stoga。Wehadtohaveourcostumesdistinctinsomeway。\"

  \"Aremarkablehat,that,\"noddedMrs。Lot,hereyecatchingsightofaVirotcreationatthetopofthepage。

  \"RemindsmeofEve’sdescriptionofanautumnsceneinthegarden,\"

  smiledMrs。Noah。\"Gorgeousinitsfoliage,beautifulthing;thoughIshouldn’thavedaredwearoneintheArk,withallthosehungryanimalsbrowsingabouttheupperandlowerdecks。\"

  \"Iwonder,\"remarkedCleopatra,asshecockedherheadtoonesidetotakeinthefulleffectofanattractivesummergown——\"Iwonderhowthatwaistwouldmakeupinbluecrepon,withayokeoflaceandastylishlycontrastingstockofsatinribbon?\"

  \"Itwoulddependuponhowyoufinishedthesleeves,\"remarkedMadameRecamier。\"Ifyouhadafewpuffsofrichbrocadedsatinsetinwithdeeplyfoldedpleatsitwouldn’tbebad。\"

  \"Ithinkitwouldbeveryeffective,\"observedMrs。Noah,\"butatrifletoolightforgeneralwear。Ishouldwantsomekindofawrapwithit。\"

  \"Itdoesneedthat,\"assentedElizabeth。\"Awrapmadeofpassementerieandjet,withamousselinedesoierucheabouttheneckheldbyachou,wouldmakeitfascinating。\"

  \"Thecommitteeontreacheryisreadytoreport,\"saidDelilah,risingfromhercorner,wheresheandLucretiaBorgiahadbeenhavingsoanimatedadiscussionthattheyhadfailedtoobservetheotherscrowdingaboutCleopatraandthepapers。

  \"Alittlesombre,\"saidCleopatra。\"Thecorsageiseffective,butI

  don’tlikethosebasqueterminations。I’veneverapprovedofthosefullgodets——\"

  \"Thecommitteeontreachery,\"remarkedDelilahagain,raisinghervoice,\"hasasuggestiontomake。\"

  \"Ican’tgetoverthosesleeves,though,\"laughedHelenofTroy。

  \"Whatistheuseofthem?\"

  \"TheymightbeusedtogetGreeksintoTroy,\"suggestedMadameRecamier。

  \"Thecommitteeontreachery,\"roaredDelilah,thoroughlyangeredbytheabsorptionofthechairmanandothers,\"hasasuggestiontomake。

  Thisisthethirdandlastcall。\"

  \"Oh,Ibegpardon,\"criedCleopatra,rappingfororder。\"Ihadforgottenallaboutourcommittees。Excuseme,Delilah。I——ah——wasabsorbedinothermatters。Willyoukindlylayyourpattern——I

  shouldsayyourplan——beforeus?\"

  \"Itisbrieflythis,\"saidDelilah。\"Ithasbeensuggestedthatweinvitethecrewofthisvesseltoachafing—dishparty,underthesupervisionofLucretiaBorgia,andthatshe——\"

  Thebalanceoftheplanwasnotoutlined,foratthispointthespeakerwasinterruptedbyaloudknockingatthedoor,itsinstantopening,andtheappearanceinthedoorwayofthatill—visagedruffianCaptainKidd。

  \"Ladies,\"hebegan,\"Ihavecomeheretoexplaintoyouthesituationinwhichyoufindyourselves。HaveIyourpermissiontospeak?\"

  Theladiesstartedback,butthechairmanwasequaltotheoccasion。

  \"Goon,\"saidCleopatra,withqueenlydignity,turningtotheinterloper;andthepirateproceededtotakethesecondstepinthenefariousplanuponwhichheandhisbrotherruffianshadagreed,ofwhichthetossinginthroughthewindowofthebundleoffashionpaperswasthefirst。

  CHAPTERVII:THE\"GEHENNA\"ISCHARTERED

  Itwasabouttwenty—fourhoursaftertheeventsnarratedintheprecedingchaptersthatMr。SherlockHolmesassumedcommandoftheGehenna,whichwasnothingmorenorlessthantheshadowoftheill—

  starredoceansteamshipCityofChicago,whichtriedsomeyearsagotoreachLiverpoolbytakingtheoverlandroutethroughIreland,fortunatelywithoutdetrimenttoherpassengersandcrew,whohadthepleasureoftheexperienceofshipwreckwithoutanyofthediscomfortsofdrowning。Aswillberemembered,theobstructionistnatureoftheIrishsoilpreventedtheCityofChicagofromproceedingfartherinlandthanwasnecessarytokeepherwellbalancedamidshipsuponaconvenientandnottoostonybed;andthatafterabriefsojournontherocksshewasfinallydisposedoftotheStyxNavigationCompany,underwhichtitleCharonhadhadhimselfincorporated,isamatterofnauticalhistory。ThechangeofnametotheGehennawastheactofCharonhimself,andwasprompted,nodoubt,byadesiretosoftenthejealousprejudicesoftheresidentsoftheStygiancapitalagainsttheflourishingandever—growingmetropolisofIllinois。

  TheAssociatedShadeshadhadsometroubleingettingthiscraft。

  Charon,throughhisconstantassociationwithlifeonbothsidesofthedarkriver,hadgainedaknowledge,moreorlessintimate,ofmodernbusinessmethods,andwhileasjanitoroftheclubhewassubjecttothewilloftheHouse—boatCommittee,andsympathizeddeeplywiththemembersoftheassociationintheirtrouble,aspresidentoftheStyxNavigationCompanyhewasboundupincertainnewlyattainedcommercialideaswhichwereembarrassingtothosemembersoftheassociationtowhosehandsthecharteringofavesselhadbeencommitted。

  \"Seehere,Charon,\"SirWalterRaleighhadsaid,afterCharonhadexpressedhimselfasdeeplysympathetic,butunabletoshavethetermsuponwhichthevesselcouldbehad,\"youareaninfernaloldhypocrite。Yougoaboutwringingyourhandsoverourmisfortunesuntilthey’vegotasdryandflabbyasapairofkidgloves,andyetwhenweaskyouforashipofsuitablesizeandspeedtogooutafterthosepirates,youbecomeasortoftwinbrothertoShylock,withouthisexcuse。Hisinstinctsareaccidentsofbirth。Yoursarecultivated,andyouknowit。\"

  \"Youareverymuchmistaken,SirWalter,\"Charonhadansweredtothis。\"Youdon’tunderstandmyposition。Itisaveryhardone。AsjanitorofyourclubIamreallyprostratedovertheeventsofthepasttwenty—fourhours。Myoccupationisgone,andmydespairoveryourlossiscorrespondinglygreater,forIhavetimeonmyhandstobroodoverit。Iwashystericalasawomanyesterdayafternoon——sohystericalthatIcamenearupsettingoneoftheFurieswhoengagedmetorowherdowntoMadameMedusa’svillalastevening;andrightatthesluiceofthevitriolreservoiratthat。\"

  \"Thenwhythedeucedon’tyoudosomethingtohelpus?\"pleadedHamlet。

  \"HowcanIdoanymorethanIhavedone?I’veofferedyoutheGehenna,\"retortedCharon。

  \"Butonwhatterms?\"expostulatedRaleigh。\"IfwehadallthewealthoftheIndieswe’dhavedifficultyinpayingyouthesumsyoudemand。\"

  \"ButIamonlypresidentofthecompany,\"explainedCharon。\"I’dlike,aspresident,toshowyousomecourtesy,andI’mperfectlywillingtodoso;butwhenitcomesdowntogivingyouavessellikethat,I’mboundbymyofficialoathtoconsidertheinterestofthestockholders。Itisn’tasitusedtobewhenIhadboatstohireinmyownbehalfalone。InthosedaysIhadnobody’sinterestbutmyowntolookafter。NowtheshipsallbelongtotheStyxNavigationCompany。Can’tyouseethedifference?\"

  \"Youownallthestock,don’tyou?\"insistedRaleigh。

  \"Idon’tknow,\"Charonanswered,blandly。\"Ihaven’tseenthetransfer—bookslately。’’

  \"Butyouknowthatyoudidowneveryshareofit,andthatyouhaven’tsoldany,don’tyou?\"putinHamlet。

  Charonwaspuzzledforamoment,butshortlyhisfacecleared,andSirWalter’sheartsank,foritwasevidentthattheoldfellowcouldnotbecornered。

  \"Well,it’sthisway,SirWalter,andyourHighness,\"hesaid,\"I——I

  can’tsaywhetheranyofthatstockhasbeentransferredornot。Thefactis,I’vebeenspeculatingalittleonmargin,andI’veputupthatstockassecurity,and,forallIknow,Imayhavebeensoldoutbymybrokers。I’vebeensoupsetbythisunfortunateoccurrencethatIhaven’tseenthemarketreportsfortwodays。Reallyyou’llhavetobecontentwithmyofferorgowithouttheGehenna。There’stoomuchsuspicionattachedtohighcorporateofficialslatelyformetoyieldajotinthepositionIhavetaken。Itwouldneverdotogetyouallreadytostart,andthenhaveaninjunctionclappedonyoubysomeunforeseenstockholderwhowasnotsatisfiedwiththetermsofferedyou;norcanIeverletitbesaidofmethattoretainmypositionasjanitorofyourorganizationIsacrificedatrustcommittedtomycharge。I’llgladlylendyoumyprivatelaunch,thoughIdon’tthinkitwillaidyoumuch,becausethenaphtha—tankhasexploded,andthescrewslippedoffandwenttothebottomtwoweeksago。Still,itisatyourservice,andI’venodoubtthateitherPhidiasorBenvenutoCelliniwillcarveoutapaddleforyouifyouaskhimto。\"

  \"Bah!\"retortedRaleigh。\"Youmightaswellofferusapairofskates。\"

  \"Iwould,ifIthoughttheriver’dfreeze,\"retortedCharon,blandly。

  RaleighandHamletturnedawayimpatientlyandleftCharontohisowndevices,whichforthetimebeingconsistedlargelyofwinkinghisothereyequietlyandoutwardlymakingagreatshowofgrief。

  \"He’stoocannyforus,Iamafraid,\"saidSirWalter。\"We’llhavetopayhimhismoney。\"

  \"LetusfirstconsultSherlockHolmes,\"suggestedHamlet,andthistheyproceededatoncetodo。

  \"Thereisbutonethingtobedone,\"observedtheastutedetectiveafterhehadheardSirWalter’sstatementofthecase。\"Itisanoldsayingthatoneshouldfightfirewithfire。Wemustmeetmodernbusinessmethodswithmoderncommercialideas。Charterhisvesselathisownprice。\"

  \"Butwe’dneverbeabletopay,\"saidHamlet。

  \"Ha—ha!\"laughedHolmes。\"Itisevidentthatyouknownothingofthelawsoftradenowadays。Don’tpay!\"

  \"Buthowcanwe?\"askedRaleigh。

  \"Themethodissimple。Youhaven’tanythingtopaywith,\"returnedHolmes。\"Lethimsue。Supposehegetsaverdict。Youhaven’tanythinghecanattach——ifyouhave,makeitovertoyourwivesoryourfiancees\"

  \"Isthathonest?\"askedHamlet,shakinghisheaddoubtfully。

  \"It’sbusiness,\"saidHolmes。

  \"Butsupposehewantsanadvancepayment?\"queriedHamlet。

  \"Givehimacheckdrawntohisownorder。He’llhavetoendorseitwhenhedepositsit,andthatwillmakehimresponsible,\"laughedHolmes。

  \"Whatasimplethingwhenyouunderstandit!\"commentedRaleigh。

  \"Very,\"saidHolmes。\"Businessisgettingbyslowdegreestobeanexactscience。ItremindsmeoftheBrightonmystery,inwhichI

  playedamodestpartsometenyearsago,whenIfirsttookupferretingasaprofession。IwassittingonenightinmyroomatoneoftheBrightonhotels,whichshallbenameless。InevergivethenameofanyofthehotelsatwhichIstop,becauseitmightgiveoffencetotheproprietorsofotherhotels,withtheresultthatmybookswouldbeexcludedfromsaletherein。SufficeittosaythatI

  wasspendinganearlysummerSundayatBrightonwithmyfriendWatson。Wehaddinedwell,andwereenjoyingoureveningsmoketogetheruponasmallbalconyoverlookingthewater,whentherecameatimidknockonthedoorofmyroom。

  \"’Watson,’saidI,’herecomessomeoneforadvice。Doyouwishtowagerasmallbottleuponit?’

  \"’Yes,’heanswered,withasmile。’IamthirstyandI’dlikeasmallbottle;andwhileIdonotexpecttowin,I’lltakethebet。I

  shouldliketoknow,though,howyouknow。’

  \"’Itisquitesimple,’saidI。’Thetimidityoftheknockshowsthatmyvisitorisoneoftwoclassesofpersons——anautograph—hunteroraclient,oneofthetwo。YouseeIgiveyouachancetowin。Itmaybeanautograph—hunter,butIthinkitisaclient。Ifitwereacreditor,hewouldknockboldly,evenostentatiously;ifitwerethemaid,shewouldnotknockatall;ifitwerethehall—boy,hewouldnotcomeuntilIhadrungfivetimesforhim。Noneofthesethingshasoccurred;theknockisthehalf—heartedknockwhichbetokenseitherthatthepersonwhoknockedisintrouble,orisuncertainastohisreception。Iamwilling,however,consideringtheheatandmydesiretoquenchmythirst,towagerthatitisaclient。’

  \"’Done,’saidWatson;andIimmediatelyremarked,’Comein。’

  \"Thedooropened,andamanofaboutthirty—fiveyearsofage,inabathing—suit,enteredtheroom,andIsawataglancewhathadhappened。

  \"’YournameisBurgess,’Isaid。’YoucameherefromLondonthismorning,expectingtoreturnto—night。Youbroughtnoluggagewithyou。Afterluncheonyouwentbathing。YouhadmachineNo。35,andwhenyoucameoutofthewateryoufoundthatNo。35haddisappeared,withyourclothesandthesilverwatchyourunclegaveyouonthedayyousucceededtohisbusiness。’

  \"Ofcourse,gentlemen,\"observedthedetective,withasmileatSirWalterandHamlet——\"ofcoursethemanfairlygasped,andIcontinued:

  ’Youhavebeenlyingfacedownwardinthesandeversince,waitingfornightfall,sothatyoucouldcometomeforassistance,notconsideringitgoodformtomakeanafternooncalluponastrangerathishotel,cladinabathing—suit。AmIcorrect?’

  \"’Sir,’hereplied,withalookofwonder,’youhavenarratedmystoryexactlyasithappened,andIfindIhavemadenomistakeincomingtoyou。Wouldyoumindtellingmewhatisyourcourseofreasoning?’

  \"’Itisplainasday,’saidI。’IamthepersonwiththeredbeardwithwhomyoucamedownthirdclassfromLondonthismorning,andyoutoldmeyournamewasBurgessandthatyouwereabutcher。Whenyoulookedtoseethetime,Iremarkedupontheoddnessofyourwatch,whichledtoyourtellingmethatitwasthegiftofyouruncle。’

  \"’True,’saidBurgess,’butIdidnottellyouIhadnoluggage。’

  \"’No,’saidI,’butthatyouhadn’tisplain;forifyouhadbroughtanyotherclothingbesidesthatyouhadonwithyou,youwouldhaveputitontocomehere。ThatyouhavebeenrobbedIdeducealsofromyourcostume。’

  \"’Butthenumberofthemachine?’askedWatson。

  \"’Isonthetagonthekeyhangingabouthisneck,’saidI。

  \"’Onemorequestion,’queriedBurgess。’HowdoyouknowIhavebeenlyingfacedownwardonthebeacheversince?’

  \"’Bythesandinyoureyebrows,’Ireplied;andWatsonorderedupthesmallbottle。\"

  \"Ifailtoseewhatitwasinourconversation,however,\"observedHamlet,somewhatimpatientoverthedelaycausedbythenarrationofthistale,\"thatsuggestedthistrainofthoughttoyou。\"

  \"Thesequelwillshow,\"returnedHolmes。

  \"Oh,Lord!\"putinRaleigh。\"Can’tweputoffthesequeluntilalaterissue?Remember,Mr。Holmes,thatweareconstantlylosingtime。\"

  \"Thesequelisbrief,andIcannarrateitonourwaytotheofficeoftheNavigationCompany,\"observedthedetective。\"WhenthebottlecameIinvitedMr。Burgesstojoinus,whichhedid,andasthehourwaslatewhenwecametoseparate,Iofferedhimtheuseofmyparlorovernight。Thisheaccepted,andweretired。

  \"ThenextmorningwhenIarosetodress,themysterywascleared。\"

  \"Youhaddreameditssolution?\"askedRaleigh。

  \"No,\"repliedHolmes。\"Burgesshaddisappearedwithallmyclothing,myfalse—beard,mysuit—case,andmywatch。Theonlythinghehadleftmewasthebathing—suitandafewemptysmallbottles。\"

  \"Andwhy,mayIask,\"putinHamlet,astheydrewneartoCharon’soffice——\"whydoesthatcaseremindyouofbusinessasitisconductedto—day?\"

  \"Inthis,thatitisagoodthingtostayoutofunlessyouknowitall,\"explainedHolmes。\"IomittedinthecaseofBurgesstoobserveonethingabouthim。HadIobservedthathisnosewasrectilinear,incurved,andwithaliftedbase,andthathisauriculartemporalanglewasbetween96and97degrees,IshouldhaveknownatoncethathewasanimpostorVideOttolenghuion’EarsandNosesIHaveMet,’

  pp。631—640。\"

  \"Doyoumeantosaythatyoucantellacriminalbyhisears?\"

  demandedHamlet。

  \"Ifhehasany——yes;butIdidnotknowthatatthetimeoftheBrightonmystery。ThereforeIshouldhavestayedoutofthecase。

  Buthereweare。Good—morning,Charon。\"

  BythistimethetriohadenteredtheprivateofficeofthepresidentoftheStyxNavigationCompany,andinafewmomentsthevesselwascharteredatafabulousprice。

  Onthereturntothewharf,SirWaltersomewhatnervouslyaskedHolmesifhethoughttheplantheyhadsettleduponwouldwork。

  \"Charonisaveryshrewdoldfellow,\"saidhe。\"Hemayoutwitusyet。\"

  \"Thechancesarejusttwoandone—eighthdegreesinyourfavor,\"

  observedHolmes,quietly,withaglanceatRaleigh’sears。\"Thetemporalangleofyourearsis93。125degrees,whereasCharon’sstandoutat91,bymyotometer。Tothatextentyourcriminalinstinctsaresuperiortohis。Ifcriminologyisanexactscience,reasoningbyyourrespectiveears,yououghttobeathimoutbyaperceptiblethoughpossiblynarrowmargin。\"

  WithwhichassuranceRaleighwentaheadwithhispreparations,andwithintwelvehourstheGehennawasunderway,carryingafullcomplementofcrewandofficers,witheverystate—roomonboardoccupiedbysomespiritofthemoreillustriouskind。

  EvenShylockwasonboard,thoughnooneknewit,forinthedeadofnighthehadstolenquietlyupthegang—plankandhadhiddenhimselfinanemptywater—caskintheforecastle。

  \"’Tisn’tVenice,\"hesaid,ashesatdownandbreathedheavilythroughthebungofthebarrel,\"butit’smustyanddampenough,and,consideringthecost,Ican’tcomplain。Youcan’tgetsomethingfornothing,eveninHades。\"

  CHAPTERVIII:ONBOARDTHE\"GEHENNA\"

  WhentheGehennahadpasseddowntheStyxandoutthroughthebeautifulCimmerianHarborintothebroadwatersoftheocean,andeverythingwascomparativelysafeforawhileatleast,SherlockHolmescamedownfromthebridge,wherehehadtakenhisplaceasthecommanderoftheexpeditionatthemomentofdeparture。Hisbrowwasfurrowedwithanxiety,andthroughhismassiveforeheadhisbraincouldbeseentobethrobbingviolently,andthecorrugationsofhisgraymatterwerenotpleasanttowitnessashetriedvainlytosqueezeanideaoutofthem。

  \"Whatisthematter?\"askedDemosthenes,anxiously。\"Wearenotinanydanger,arewe?\"

  \"No,\"repliedHolmes。\"ButIamsomewhatpuzzledatthebubblesonthesurfaceoftheocean,andtherippleswhichwepassedoveranhourortwoago,barelyperceptiblethroughthemostpowerfulmicroscope,indicatetomymindthatforsomereasonatpresentunknowntometheHouse—boathaschangedhercourse。Takethatbubblefloatingby。ItisthelastexpiringbitofaerialagitationoftheHouse—boat’swake。Observewhenceitcomes。NotfromtheAzoresquarter,butasifinsteadofsteeringastraightcoursethithertheHouse—boathadtakenasharpturntothenorth—east,andwasmakingforHavre;or,inotherwords,ParisinsteadofLondonseemstohavebecometheirdestination。\"

  DemostheneslookedatHolmeswithblankamazement,and,tokeepfromstammeringouttheexclamationofwonderthatrosetohislips,heopenedhisbonbonniereandswallowedapebble。

  \"Youdon’thappentohaveacocainetabletinyourbox,doyou?\"

  queriedHolmes。

  \"No,\"returnedtheGreek。\"Cocainemakesmeflightyandnervous,butthesepebblessortofballastmeandholdmedown。HowonearthdoyouknowthatthatbubblecomesfromthewakeoftheHouse—boat?\"

  \"Bymychemicalknowledge,merely,\"repliedHolmes。\"Amerelyworldlyvesselleavesaphosphorescentbubbleinitswake。Thatonewehavejustdiscoveredisnotso,butsulphurescent,ifImaycoinawordwhichitseemstometheEnglishlanguageisverymuchinneedof。Itproves,then,thatthebubbleisaportionofthewakeofaStygiancraft,andtheonlyStygiancraftthathasclearedtheCimmerianHarborforyearsistheHouse—boat——Q。E。D。\"

  \"Wecangobackuntilwefindtherippleagain,andfollowthat,I

  presume,\"sneeredLeCoq,whodidnottakemuchstockinthetheoriesofhisgreatrival,largelybecausehewasadetectivebyintuitionratherthanbystudyofthescience。

  \"Youcanifyouwantto,butitisbetternotto,\"rejoinedHolmes,simply,asthoughnotobservingthesneer,\"becausetheripplerepresentstheouterlinesoftheangleofdisturbanceinthewater;

  andasanyoneofthesidestoanangleisgreaterthantheperpendicularfromthehypothenusetotheapex,you’dmerelybegoingthelongway。ThisisespeciallyimportantwhenyouconsidertheformationofthebowoftheHouse—boat,whichisroundedlikethesternofmostvessels,andcomesneartomakingapairofripplesatanangleofninetydegrees。\"

  \"Then,\"observedSirWalter,withasighofdisappointment,\"wemustchangeourcourseandsailforParis?\"

  \"Iamafraidso,\"saidHolmes;\"butofcourseit’sbynomeanscertainasyet。IthinkifColumbuswouldgoupintothemizzentopandlookabouthim,hemightdiscoversomethingeitherinconfirmationorrefutationofthetheory。\"

  \"Hecouldn’tdiscoveranything,\"putinPinzon。\"Heneverdid。\"

  \"Well,Ilikethat!\"retortedColumbus。\"I’dliketoknowwhodiscoveredAmerica。\"

  \"SoshouldI,\"observedLeifEricson,withawinkatVespucci。

  \"Tut!\"retortedColumbus。\"Ididit,andtheworldknowsit,whetheryouclaimitornot。\"

  \"Yes,justasNoahdiscoveredArarat,\"repliedPinzon。\"Yousatuponthedeckuntilweranplumbintoanisland,afterfloatingaboutforthreemonths,andthenyoucouldn’ttellitfromacontinent,evenwhenyouhaditrightbeforeyoureyes。NoahmightjustaswellhavetoldhisfamilythathediscoveredaroofgardenasforyoutogobacktoSpaintelling’emallthatSanSalvadorwastheUnitedStates。\"

  \"Well,Idon’tcare,\"saidColumbus,withashortlaugh。\"I’mtheonetheycelebrate,sowhat’stheodds?I’dratherstaydownhereinthesmoking—roomenjoyingasmallgame,anyhow,thanclimbupthatmastandstrainmyeyesfortenoradozenhourslookingforevidencetoproveordisprovethecorrectnessofanotherman’stheory。I

  wouldn’tknowevidencewhenIsawit,anyhow。SendJudgeBlackstone。\"

  \"Idrawthelineatthemizzentop,\"observedBlackstone。\"Thedignityofthebenchmustandshallbepreserved,andI’llneverconsenttoclimbupthatrigging,gettingpitchandpaintonmyermine,nomatterwhoasksmetogo。\"

  \"WhomsoeverItelltogo,shallgo,\"putinHolmes,firmly。\"Iamcommanderofthisship。Itwillpayyoutorememberthat,JudgeBlackstone。\"

  \"AndIamtheCourtofAppeals,\"retortedBlackstone,hotly。\"Bearthatinmind,captain,whenyoutrytosendmeup。I’llissueawritofhabeascorpusonmyownbody,andcommityouforcontempt。\"

  \"There’snouseofsendingtheJudge,anyhow,\"saidRaleigh,fearingbytheglitterthatcameintotheeyeofthecommanderthattroublemightensueunlesspacificatorymeasureswereresortedto。\"He’saccustomedtoweighingeverythingcarefully,andcannotberushedintoadecision。Ifhesawanyevidence,he’dhavetositonitaweekbeforereachingaconclusion。Whatweneedheremorethananythingelseisanexpertseaman,alookout,andInominateShem。

  Hehassailedunderhisfather,andIhaveitongoodauthoritythatheisanauticalexpert。\"

  Holmeshesitatedforaninstant。HewasconsideringthenecessityofdiscipliningtherecalcitrantBlackstone,buthefinallyyielded。

  \"Verywell,\"hesaid。\"Shembeit。Bo’sun,pipeShemondeck,andtellhimthatgeneralordernumberonerequireshimtoreportatthemizzentoprightaway,andthatimmediatelyheseesanythingheshallcomebelowandmakeitknowntome。Asfortherestofus,havingaveryconsiderableappetite,Idonowdecreethatitisdinner—time。

  Shallwegobelow?\"

  \"Idon’tthinkIcareforany,thankyou,\"saidRaleigh。\"Factis——

  ah——Idinedlastweek,andamnothungry。\"

  Noahlaughed。\"Oh,comebelowandwatchuseat,then,\"hesaid。

  \"It’lldoyougood。\"

  Buttherewasnoreply。Raleighhadplungedheadfirstintohisstate—room,whichfortunatelyhappenedtobeontheupperdeck。Therestofthespiritsrepairedbelowtothesaloon,wheretheyweresoonengagedinananimateddiscussionofsuchviandsasthelarderprovided。

  \"This,\"saidDr。Johnson,fromtheheadofthetable,\"iswhatIcallcomfort。Idon’tknowthatIamsoanxioustorecovertheHouse—

  boat,afterall。\"

  \"NorI,\"saidSocrates,\"withashiplikethistogooffcruisingon,andwithsuchalarder。Lookatthethicknessofthatpuree,Doctor—

  —\"

  \"Excuseme,\"saidBoswell,faintly,\"butI——I’veleftmynote——bub——

  bookupstairs,Doctor,andI’dliketogoupandgetit。\"

  \"Certainly,\"saidDr。Johnson。\"Ijudgefromyourcolor,whichishighlysuggestiveofamodernmagazineposter,thatitmightbewelltooifyoustayedondeckforalittlewhileandmadeafewentriesinyourcommonplacebook。\"

  \"Thankyou,\"saidBoswell,gratefully。\"Shallyousayanythingcleverduringdinner,sir?Ifso,ImightbeputtingitdownwhileI’mup——\"

  \"Getout!\"roaredtheDoctor。\"Getupashighasyoucan——getupwithShemonthemizzentop——\"

  \"Verygood,sir,\"repliedBoswell,andhewasoff。

  \"Yououghttobemorelenientwithhim,Doctor,\"saidBonaparte;\"hemeanswell。\"

  \"Iknowit,\"observedJohnson;\"buthe’ssoveryprevious。Lastwinter,atChaucer’sdinnertoBurns,Imadeaspeech,whichBoswellprintedaweekbeforeitwasdelivered,withthewords’laughter’and’uproariousapplause’interspersedthroughit。Itplacedmeinafalseposition。\"

  \"Howdidheknowwhatyouweregoingtosay?\"queriedDemosthenes。

  \"Don’tknow,\"repliedJohnson。\"Kindofmind—reader,Ifancy,\"headded,blushingatrifle。\"But,CaptainHolmes,whatdoyoudeducefromyourobservationofthewakeoftheHouse—boat?Ifshe’sgoingtoParis,whythechange?\"

  \"Ihavetwotheories,\"repliedthedetective。

  \"Whichisalwayssafe,\"saidLeCoq。

  \"Always;itdoublesyourchancesofsuccess,\"acquiescedHolmes。

  \"Anyhow,itgivesyouachoice,whichmakesitmoreinteresting。ThechangeofhercoursefromLondonwardtoPariswardprovestomeeitherthatKiddisnotsatisfiedwiththeextentoftherevengehehasalreadytaken,andwishestoruinyougentlemenfinanciallybyturningyourwives,daughters,andsisterslooseontheParisianshops,orthatthepirateshavethemselvesbeenoverthrownbytheladies,whohavedecidedtoprolongtheircruiseandgetsomefunoutoftheirmisfortune。\"

  \"AndwhereelsethantoPariswouldanyoneinsearchofpleasurego?\"askedBonaparte。

  \"IhadmorefunafewmilesoutsideofBrussels,\"saidWellington,withaslywinkatWashington。

  \"Oh,letuponthat!\"retortedBonaparte。\"Itwasn’tyoubeatmeatWaterloo。Youcouldn’thavebeatenmeataplainordinarygameofold—maidwithastackedpackofcards,muchlessinthegameofwar,ifyouhadn’thadtheelementswithyou。\"

  \"Tut!\"snappedWellington。\"Itwasclearsciencelaidyouout,Boney。\"

  \"Taisey—voo!\"shoutedtheirateCorsican。\"Clearsciencebehanged!

  Wetsciencewaswhatdidit。Ifithadn’tbeenfortherain,mylittleDuke,IshouldhavebeeninLondonwithinaweek,mygrenadierswouldhavebeencampinginyourRuePeekadeely,andtheOldGuardallovereverywhereelse。\"

  \"Youmusthavehadagayarmy,then,\"laughedCaesar。\"WhatareFrenchsoldiersmadeof,thattheycan’tstandthewet——unshrunklinenorflannel?\"

  \"Bah!\"observedNapoleon,shrugginghisshouldersandwalkingafewpacesaway。\"YoudonotunderstandtheFrench。TheFrenchmanisnotapell—mellsoldierlikeyouRomans;heisthepoetofarms;hedoesnotgoinforgloryattheexpenseofhisdignity;style,form,isdearertohimthanhonor,andhehasnouseforfightinginthewetandcomingoutofthefightconspicuousasavictorwiththecurloutofhisfeathersandhisepauletsrustedwiththedamp。Thereisnogloryinwater。Butifwehadhadumbrellasandmackintoshes,aseveryEnglishmanwhocomestotheContinentalwayshas,andabath—

  tubforeverybody,thenwouldyourWaterloohavebeendifferentagain,andthegreatdemocracyofEuropewithaBonaparteforemperorwouldhavebeenfoundedforwhattheAmericanscallthekeeps;andasforyourlittleGreatBritain,ha!shewouldhavebecometheBlackwell’sIslandoftheGreaterFrance。\"

  \"You’realmostasfunnyasPunchisn’t,\"drawledWellington,withanangrygestureatBonaparte。\"Youweren’twithintelephoningdistanceofvictoryallday。Wesimplyplayedwithyou,myboy。Itwasaregulargameofgolfforus。Weletyoukeepupprettycloseandwinafewholes,butonthehomedrivewehadyoubeateninonestroke。

  Goto,mydearBonaparte,andstoptalkingabouttheflood。\"

  \"It’saluckythingforusthatNoahwasn’taFrenchman,eh?\"saidFredericktheGreat。\"Howthatrainwouldhavefazedhimifhehadbeen!Thehumanracewouldhavebeenwipedout。\"

  \"Oh,pshaw!\"ejaculatedNoah,deprecatingtheunseemlinessofthequarrel,andputtinghisarmaffectionatelyaboutBonaparte’sshoulder。\"Whenyoucomedowntothat,IwasFrench——asFrenchasonecouldbeinthosedays——andtheseGallicsubjectsofmyfriendherewere,everyoneof’em,mylinealdescendants,andtheirhatredofrainwasinheriteddirectlyfromme,theirancestor。\"

  \"ArenotweEnglishasmuchyourdescendants?\"queriedWellington,archinghiseyebrows。

  \"Youare,\"saidNoah,\"butyoutakeafterMrs。Noahmorethanafterme。Waterneverfazesawoman,andyourdelightintubsisanessentiallyfemininetrait。ThefirstthingMrs。Noahcarriedaboardwasalaundryoutfit,andthenshewentbackforrugsandcoatsandallsortsofhand—baggage。Gad,itmakesmelaughtothisdaywhenI

  thinkofit!ShelookedforalltheworldlikeanEnglishmantravellingontheContinentasshewalkedupthegang—plankbehindtheelephants,eachelephantwithaGladstonebaginhistrunkandahat—boxtiedtohistail。\"Herethevenerableoldweather—prophetwinkedatMunchausen,andthelittlequarrelwhichhadbeenimminentpassedoffinagenerallaugh。

  \"Where’sBoswell?Heoughttogetthatanecdote,\"saidJohnson。

  \"I’velockedhimupinthelibrary,\"saidHolmes。\"He’sinchargeofthelog,andasIhaveaprettygoodgeneralideaastowhatisabouttohappen,Ihavemappedoutaskeletonoftheplotandsethimtoworkwritingitup。\"Herethedetectivegaveasuddenstart,placedhishandtohisear,listenedintentlyforaninstant,and,takingouthiswatchandglancingatit,added,quietly,\"InthreeminutesShemwillbeinheretoannounceadiscovery,andoneofgreatimportance,Ijudge,fromthesqueak。\"

  TheassemblagegazedearnestlyatHolmesforamoment。

  \"Thesqueak?\"queriedRaleigh。

  \"Precisely,\"saidHolmes。\"ThesqueakiswhatIsaid,andasI

  alwayssaywhatImean,itfollowslogicallythatImeantwhatI

  said。\"

  \"Iheardnosqueak,\"observedDr。Johnson;\"and,furthermore,Ifailtoseehowasqueak,ifIhadheardit,wouldhaveportendedadiscoveryofimportance。\"

  \"Itwouldnot——toyou,\"saidHolmes;\"butwithmeitisdifferent。

  Myhearingisunusuallyacute。Icanhearthedroppingofapinthroughastonewalltenfeetthick;anysoundwithinamileofmyeardrumvibratesthereonwithanintensitywhichwouldsurpriseyou,anditisbytheuseofcocainethatIhaveacquiredthiswonderfullyacutesense。Apropertywhichdullsthesensesofmostpeoplerendersminedoublyapprehensive;therefore,gentlemen,whiletoyoutherewasnoauriculardisturbance,tometherewas。IheardShemslidingdownthemastaminutesince。Thefactthathesliddownthemastinsteadofclimbingdowntheriggingshowedthathewasingreathaste,thereforehemusthavesomethingtocommunicateofgreatimportance。\"

  \"Whyisn’theherealready,then?Itwouldn’ttakehimtwominutestogetfromthedeckhere,\"askedtheever—auspiciousLeCoq。

  \"Itissimple,\"returnedHolmes,calmly。\"Ifyouwillgoyourselfandslidedownthatmastyouwillsee。Shemhasstoppedforalittlewitch—hazeltosoothehisburns。Itisnocoolmatterslidingdownamasttwohundredfeetinheight。\"

  AsSherlockHolmesspokethedoorburstopenandShemrushedin。

  \"Asignalofdistress,captain!\"hecried。

  \"Fromwhatquarter——tolarboard?\"askedHolmes。

  \"No,\"returnedShem,breathless。

  \"Thenitmustbedeadahead,\"saidHolmes。

  \"Whynottostarboard?\"askedLeCoq,dryly。

  \"Because,\"answeredHolmes,confidently,\"itneverhappensso。Ifyouhadeverreadatrulyexcitingsea—tale,mydearLeCoq,youwouldhaveknownthatinterestingthings,andparticularlysignalsofdistress,areneverseenexcepttolarboardordeadahead。\"

  Amurmurofapplausegreetedthisretort,andLeCoqsubsided。

  \"Thenatureofthesignal?\"demandedHolmes。

  \"Ablackflag,skullandcross—bonesdown,athalf—mast!\"criedShem,\"andonarock—boundcoast!\"

  \"They’remarooned,byheavens!\"shoutedHolmes,springingtohisfeetandrushingtothedeck,wherehewasjoinedimmediatelybySirWalter,Dr。Johnson,Bonaparte,andtheothers。

  \"Isn’theadaisy?\"whisperedDemosthenestoDiogenesastheyclimbedthestairs。

  \"Heismorethanthat;he’sabloomingorchid,\"saidDiogenes,withintenseenthusiasm。\"IthinkI’llgetmyX—raylanternandseeifhe’shonest。\"

  CHAPTERIX:CAPTAINKIDDMEETSWITHANOBSTACLE

  \"Excuseme,yourMajesty,\"remarkedHelenofTroyasCleopatraaccordedpermissiontoCaptainKiddtospeak,\"Ihavenotbeenintroducedtothisgentlemannorhashebeenpresentedtome,andI

  reallycannotconsenttoanyproceedingsoirregularasthis。IdonotspeaktogentlemenIhavenotmet,nordoIpermitthemtoaddressme。\"

  \"Hear,hear!\"criedXanthippe。\"IquiteagreewiththeprincipleofmyyoungfriendfromTroy。Itmaybethatwhenweclaimedforourselvesalltherightsofmenthattherighttospeakandbespokentobyothermenwithoutanintroductionwillincludedinthelist,butIforonehavenodesiretoavailmyselfoftheprivilege,especiallywhenit’sahorrid—lookingmanlikethis。\"

  Kiddbowedpolitely,andsmiledsoterriblythatseveraloftheladiesfainted。

  \"Iwillwithdraw,\"hesaid,turningtoCleopatra;anditmustbesaidthathissuggestionwaspromptedbyhisheartfeltwish,fornowthathefoundhimselfthusconspicuouslybroughtbeforesomanywomen,withfalsehoodonhislips,hiscouragebegantoooze。

  \"Notyet,please,\"answeredthechairlady。\"Iimaginewecangetaboutthisdifficultywithoutmuchtrouble。\"

  \"Ithinkitaperfectlyproperobjectiontoo,\"observedDelilah,rising。\"Ifweeverneededetiquetteweneeditnow。ButIhaveaplanwhichwillobviateanyfurtherdifficulty。Ifthereisnooneamonguswhoissufficientlywellacquaintedwiththegentlemantopresenthimformallytous,Iwillforthetimebeingtakeuponmyselftheofficeofship’sbarberandcuthishair。Iunderstandthatitisquitetheproperthingforbarberstotalk,whilecuttingtheirhair,topersonstowhomtheyhavenotbeenintroduced。And,besides,hereallyneedsahair—cutbadly。ThusIshallestablishanacquaintancewiththecaptain,afterwhichIcanwithproprietyintroducehimtotherestofyou。\"

  \"Perhapsthegentlemanhimselfmightobjecttothat,\"putinQueenElizabeth。\"IfIrememberrightly,yourlastcustomerwasverymuchdissatisfiedwiththetrimyougavehim。\"

  \"ItwillbeunnecessarytodowhatDelilahproposes,\"saidMrs。Noah,withakindlysmile,assheroseupfromthecornerinwhichshehadbeensitting,aninterestedlistener。\"Icanintroducethegentlemantoyouallwithperfectpropriety。He’samemberofmyfamily。Hisgrandfatherwasthegreat—grandsonathousandandeighttimesremovedofmysonShem’sgreat—grandnephewonhisfather’sside。Hisrelationshiptomeisthereforeobvious,thoughfromwhatIknowofhisreputationIthinkhetakesmoreaftermyhusband’sancestorsthanmyown。Willie,dear,theseladiesarefriendsofmine。

  Ladies,thisyoungmanisoneofmymostfamousdescendants。Hehasbeenamanofmanyadventures,andhehasbeenhangedonce,which,farfrommakinghimundesirableasanacquaintance,hasservedmerelytorenderhimharmless,andthereforeasafepersontoknow。Now,myson,goaheadandspeakyourpiece。\"

  Thegoodoldspiritsatdown,andthescruplesoftheobjectorshavingthusbeensatisfied,CaptainKiddbegan。

  \"NowthatIknowyouall,\"heremarked,aspleasantlyashecouldunderthecircumstances,\"IfeelthatIcanspeakmorefreely,andcertainlywithagreatdeallessembarrassmentthanifIwereaddressingagatheringofentirestrangers。Iamnotmuchofahandatspeaking,andhavealwaysfeltsomewhatnonplussedatfindingmyselfinapositionofthisnature。InmywholecareerIneverexperiencedbutoneirresistibleimpulsetomakeapublicaddressofanylength,andthatwasuponthatunhappyoccasiontowhichthegreatestandgrandestofmygreat—grandmothershasalluded,andthatonlyasthechainbywhichIwassuspendedinmid—airtightenedaboutmyvocalchords。AtthatmomentIcouldhavetalkedimpromptuforayear,sofastandnumerouslydidthoughtsoftheuttermostimportsurgeupwardintomybrain;butcircumstancesoverwhichIhadnocontrolpreventedtheutteranceofthosethoughts,andthatspeechisthereforelosttotheworld。\"

  \"Hehasthegiftofcontinuity,\"observedMadameRecamier。

  \"OughttobeintheUnitedStatesSenate,\"smiledElizabeth。

  \"IwishIcouldmakeupmymindastowhetherheisoutrageouslyhandsomeordesperatelyugly,\"remarkedHelenofTroy。\"Hefascinatesme,butwhetheritisthefascinationoflikingorofhorrorIcan’ttell,andit’squiteimportant。\"

  \"Ladies,\"resumedthecaptain,hisuneasinessincreasingashecametothepoint,\"Iambuttheagentofyourrespectivehusbands,fiances,andothermasculineguardians。Thegentlemenwhowerepreviouslythetenantsofthisclub—househavedelegatedtometheimportant,andImayaddhighlyagreeable,taskofshowingyoutheworld。Theyhavenotedoflateyearsthegrowthofthatfeelingofunrestwhichisbecomingeverydaymoreandmoreconspicuousinfemininecirclesinallpartsoftheuniverse——ontheearth,wherewomenareclamoringtovote,andtobeallowedtogooutlateatnightwithoutanescort,inHades,where,asyouarenodoubtaware,themanagementofthegovernmenthasfallenalmostwhollyintothehandsoftheFuries;andeveninthehallsofJupiterhimself,where,Iamcrediblyinformed,Junohasbeentakingprivatelessonsintheartofhurlingthunderbolts——informationwhichtheextraordinaryqualityofrecentelectricalstormsontheearthwouldseemtoconfirm。Thunderboltsoflateyearshavebeencasthitherandyoninamosterraticfashion,strikingwheretheywereleastexpected,asthoseofyouwhokeepintouchwiththeouterworldmustbefullyaware。Now,actuatedbytheirusualbroadandliberalmotives,themenofHadeswishtomeettheviewsofyouladiestojustthatextentthatyourviewsarebaseduponawiseselection,inturnbaseduponexperience,andtheyhavecometomeandinsomanywordshavesaid,’Mr。Kidd,wewishthewomenofHadestoseetheworld。Wewantthemtobesatisfied。Wedonotlikethisconstantlyincreasingspiritofunrest。We,whohaveseenallthelifethatwecaretosee,donotourselvesfeelequaltothetaskofshowingthemabout。WewillpayyouliberallyifyouwilltakeourHouse—boat,whichtheyhavealwaysbeenanxioustoenter,andpersonallyconductourbelovedonestoParis,London,andelsewhere。Letthemseeasmuchoflifeastheycanstand。Accordthemeveryprivilege。Sparenoexpense;onlybringthembackagaintoussafeandsound。’Theseweretheirwords,ladies。Iaskedthemwhytheydidn’tcomealongthemselves,sayingthateveniftheyweretiredofitall,theyshouldmakesomepersonalsacrificetoyourcomfort;andtheyanswered,reasonablyandwell,thattheywouldbeonlytoogladtodoso,butthattheyfearedtheymightunconsciouslyseemtoexertarepressinginfluenceuponyou。’Wewantthemtofeelabsolutelyfree,CaptainKidd,’saidthey,’andifwearealongtheymaynotfeelso。’Theanswerwasconvincing,ladies,andIacceptedthecommission。\"

  \"Butweknewnothingofallthis,\"interposedElizabeth。\"Thesubjectwasnotbroachedtousbyourhusbands,brothers,fiances,orfathers。Mybrother,SirWalterRaleigh——\"

  Cleopatrachuckled。\"Brother!Brother’sgood,\"shesaid。

  \"Well,that’swhatheis,\"retortedElizabeth,quickly。\"Ipromisedtobeasistertohim,andI’mgoingtokeepmyword。That’sthekindofaqueenIam。Iwasabouttoremark,\"Elizabethadded,turningtothecaptain,\"thatmybrother,SirWalterRaleigh,neverevenhintedatanysuchplan,andusuallyheaskedmyadviceinmattersofsogreatimportance。\"

  \"Thatiseasilyaccountedfor,madame,\"retortedKidd。\"SirWalterintendedthisasalittlesurpriseforyou,thatisall。Thearrangementswereallplacedinhishands,anditwashewhoboundusalltosecrecy。Noneoftheladiesweretobeinformedofit。\"

  \"Itdoesnotsoundaltogetherplausible,\"interposedPortia。\"Ifyouladiesdonotobject,Ishouldliketocross—examinethis——ah——

  gentleman。\"

  Kiddpaledvisibly。Hewasnotpreparedforanysuchtrial;however,heputasgoodafaceonthematterashecould,andannouncedhiswillingnesstoansweranyquestionsthathemightbeasked。

  \"Shallweputhimunderoath?\"askedCleopatra。

  \"Asyouplease,ladies,\"saidthepirate。\"Apirate’swordisasgoodashisbond;butI’lltakeanoathifyouchoose——ahalf—dozenof’em,ifneedbe。\"

  \"Ifancywecangetalongwithoutthat,\"saidPortia。\"Now,CaptainKidd,whofirstproposedthisplan?\"

  \"Socrates,\"saidKidd,unblushinglywithaslyglanceatXanthippe。

  \"What?\"criedXanthippe。\"Myhusbandproposeanythingthatwouldcontributetomypleasureorintellectualadvancement?Bah!Yourstoryistransparentlyfalseattheoutset。\"

  \"Nevertheless,\"saidKidd,\"theschemewasproposedbySocrates。HesaidatripofthatkindforXanthippewouldbeveryrestfulandhealth—giving。\"

  \"Forme?\"criedXanthippe,sceptically。

  \"No,madame,forhim,\"retortedKidd。

  \"Ah——ho—ho!That’sthewayofit,eh?\"saidXanthippe,flushingtotherootsofherhair。\"Verylikely。You——ah——youwillexcusemydoubtingyourword,CaptainKidd,amomentsince。Iwithdrawmyremark,andinordertomakefullestreparation,IbegtoassuretheseladiesthatIamnowperfectlyconvincedthatyouaretellingthetruth。Thatlastobservationisjustlikemyhusband,andwhenI

  getbackhomeagain,ifIeverdo,well——ha,ha!——we’llhaveamerrytime,that’sall。\"

  \"Andwhatwas——ah——Bassanio’sconnectionwiththisaffair?\"addedPortia,hesitatingly。

  \"Hewasnotinformedofit,\"saidKidd,archly。\"IamnotacquaintedwithBassanio,mylady,butIoverheardSirWalterenjoiningupontheotherstheabsolutenecessityofkeepingthewholeaffairfromBassanio,becausehewasafraidhewouldnotconsenttoit。

  ’Bassaniohasamostbeautifulwife,gentlemen,’saidSirWalter,’andhewouldn’tthinkofpartingwithherunderanycircumstances;

  thereforeletuskeepourintentionsasecretfromhim。’Ididnothearwhomthegentlemanmarried,madame;buttheothers,PrinceHamlet,theDukeofBuckingham,andLouistheFourteenth,allagreedthatMrs。Bassaniowastoobeautifulapersontobeseparatedfrom,andthatitwasbetter,therefore,tokeepBassaniointhedarkastotheirlittleenterpriseuntilitwastoolateforhimtointerfere。\"

  Apinkglowofpleasuresuffusedthelovelycountenanceofthecross—

  examiner,anditdidnotrequireaverysharpeyetoseethatthewilyKiddhadcompletelywonherovertohisside。Ontheotherhand,Elizabeth’sbrowbecameascorrugatedasherruff,andthespiritofthepirateshiveredtothecoreasheturnedandgazeduponthatgloweringface。

  \"SirWalteragreedtothat,didhe?\"snappedElizabeth。\"Andyethewaswillingtopartwith——ah——hissister。\"

  \"Well,yourMajesty,\"beganKidd,hesitatingly,\"youseeitwasthisway:SirWalter——er——didsaythat,but——ah——he——ah——butheaddedthatheofcoursemerelyjudged——er——thismanBassanio’sfeelingsbyhisowninpartingfromhissister——\"

  \"Didhesaysister?\"criedElizabeth。

  \"Well——no——notinthosewords,\"shuffledKidd,perceivingquicklywhereinhiserrorlay,\"but——ah——Ijumpedattheconclusion,seeinghisintenseenthusiasmforthelady’sbeautyand——er——intellectualqualities,thathereferredtoyou,anditisfromyourselfthatI

  havegainedmyknowledgeastothefraternal,nottosaysororal,relationshipthatexistsbetweenyou。\"

  \"Thatman’sadiplomatfromDiplomaville!\"mutteredSirHenryMorgan,who,withAbeuchapetaandConrad,waslisteningattheportwithout。

  \"Heisthat,\"saidAbeuchapeta,\"buthecan’tlastmuchlonger。He’sperspiringlikeapitcherofice—wateronahotday,andaspiritofhissizeandvolatilenaturecan’tstandmuchofthatwithoutevaporating。Ifyouwillobservehimcloselyyouwillseethathisleftarmalreadyhasvanishedintothinair。\"

  \"ByJove!\"whisperedConrad,\"that’safact!Iftheydon’tletuponhimhe’llvanish。He’sgettingexcessivelytenuousaboutthetopofhishead。\"

  Allofwhichwasonlytootrue。Subjectedtoascrutinywhichhehadlittleexpected,thedeceitfulambassadorofthethievingbandwasrapidlydissipating,and,asthosewithouthadsofearsomelynoted,wasinimminentdangerofcompletesublimation,which,inthecaseofonepossessedofsolittleelementarypurity,meantnothingshortofannihilation。FortunatelyforKidd,however,hiswonderfultacthadstemmedthetideofsuspicion。Elizabethwassatisfiedwithhisexplanation,andinthemindsofatleastthreeofthemostinfluentialladiesonboard,Portia,Xanthippe,andElizabeth,hehadbecomeacreatureworthyofcredence,whichmeantthathehadnothingmoretofear。

  \"Iamprepared,yourMajesty,\"saidElizabeth,addressingCleopatra,\"toacceptfromthistimeonthegentleman’sword。Thelittlethathehasalreadytoldusishall—markedwithtruth。Ishouldliketoask,however,onemorequestion,andthatishowourgentlemanfriendsexpectedtoembarkusuponthisvoyagewithoutlettingusintothesecret?\"

  \"Oh,asforthat,\"repliedKidd,withadeep—drawnsighofrelief,forhetoohadnoticedthegradualevaporationofhisarmandtheincipientetherizationofhiscranium——\"asforthat,itwassimpleenough。Therewastohavebeenadaysetapartforladies’dayattheclub,andwhenyouwereallonboardwewerequietlytoweighanchorandstart。Thefactthatyouhadanticipatedtheday,ofyourownvolition,wastelephonedbymyscoutstomeatmyheadquarters,andthatnewswasbymetransmittedbymessengertoSirWalteratCharon’sGlenIsland,wherethelong—talked—offightbetweenSamsonandGoliathwastakingplace。Raleighimmediatelyreplied,’Good!

  Startatonce。Parisfirst。Unlimitedcredit。LovetoElizabeth。’

  Wherefore,ladies,\"headded,risingfromhischairandwalkingtothedoor——\"whereforeyouarehereandinmycare。Makeyourselvescomfortable,andwiththeaidofthefashionpaperswhichyouhavealreadyreceivedprepareyourselvesforthejoysthatawaityou。

  WiththeaidofMadameRecamierandBaedeker’sParis,whichyouwillfindinthelibrary,itwillbeyourownfaultifwhenyouarrivethereyouresembleagreatmanylessfortunatewomenwhodon’tknowwhattheywant。\"

  WiththesewordsKidddisappearedthroughthedoor,andfaintedinthearmsofSirHenryMorgan。Thestrainuponhimhadbeentoogreat。

  \"Acharmingfellow,\"saidPortia,asthepiratedisappeared。

  \"Mostattractive,\"saidElizabeth。

  \"Handsome,too,don’tyouthink?\"askedHelenofTroy。

  \"Andtruthfulbeyondperadventure,\"observedXanthippe,asshereflecteduponthewordsthecaptainhadattributedtoSocrates。\"I

  didn’tbelievehimatfirst,butwhenhetoldmewhatmysweet—

  temperedphilosopherhadsaid,Iwasconvinced。\"

  \"He’sasweetchild,\"interposedMrs。Noah,fondly。\"Oneofmyfavoritegrandchildren。\"

  \"Whichmakesitembarrassingformetosay,\"criedCassandra,startingupangrily,\"thatheisabasecaitiff!\"

  Hadabombbeendroppedinthemiddleoftheroom,itcouldnothavecreatedagreatersensationthanthewordsofCassandra。

  \"What?\"criedseveralvoicesatonce。\"Acaitiff?\"

  \"AcaitiffwithacapitalK,\"retortedCassandra。\"Iknowthat,becausewhilehewastellinghisstoryIwaslisteningtoitwithoneearandlookingforwardintothemiddleofnextweekwiththeother——

  Imeantheothereye——andIsaw——\"

  \"Yes,yousaw?\"criedCleopatra。

  \"Isawthathewasdeceivingus。Markmywords,ladies,heisabasecaitiff,\"repliedCassandra——\"abasecaitiff。\"

  \"Whatdidyousee?\"criedElizabeth,excitedly。

  \"This,\"saidCassandra,andshebegananarrationoffutureeventswhichImustdefertothenextchapter。MeanwhilehisassociateswereendeavoringtorestoretheevaporatedportionsoftheprostratedKidd’sspiritanatomybytheuseofasteam—atomizer,butwithindifferentsuccess。Kidd’straininghadnotfittedhimforanintellectualcombatwithsuperiorwomen,andhesufferedaccordingly。

  CHAPTERX:AWARNINGACCEPTED

  \"ItiswithnodesiretointerruptmyfriendCassandraunnecessarily,\"saidMrs。Noah,astheprophetesswasabouttonarrateherstory,\"thatIrisetobeghertorememberthat,asanancestressofCaptainKidd,Ihopeshewillspareagrandmother’sfeelings,ifanythinginthestorysheisabouttotellisimpropertobeplacedbeforetheyoung。Ihavebeensoshockedbythestoriesofperfidyandbasenessgenerallythathavebeenpublishedoflateyears,thatIwouldinterposeaprotestwhilethereisyettimeifthereisalineinCassandra’sstorywhichoughttobewithheldfromthepublic;aprotestbaseduponmyaffectionforposterity,andintheinterestsofmoralityeverywhere。\"

  \"Youmayresteasyuponthatscore,mydearMrs。Noah,\"saidtheprophetess。\"WhatIhavetosaywouldcommenditself,Iamsure,eventotheearsofaBritishmatron;andwhileitisascompleteademonstrationofman’sperfidyaseverwas,itisnonethelessasharmlessalittletaleastheDottieDimplebooksoranyothermorerecentstudyofNewEnglandcharacter。\"

  \"Thankyoufortheloadyourwordshaveliftedfrommymind,\"saidMrs。Noah,settlingbackinherchair,asatisfiedexpressionuponhergentlecountenance。\"IhopeyouwillunderstandwhyIspoke,andwithalwhymodernliteraturegenerallyhasbeensodistressfultome。

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