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  Mrs。Hilaryrosetoherfeet。\"Whowasthecreature?\"sheaskedsharply。

  \"Come,\"Iexpostulated,\"howwouldyoulikeitifyouryoungmanhadtakentotheftand——\"

  \"Oh,nonsense。Tellmehername,please,Mr。Carter。\"

  \"JohnnytoldHilarythatjusttoseeherandtalktoherandsitbyhersidewas’worthallthemoney’——butthen,tobesure,itwassomebodyelse’smoney——andthathe’ddoitagaintogetwhathehadgotoveragain。Then,I’msorrytosay,heswore。\"

  \"AndHilarybelievedthatstuff?\"

  \"Hilaryagreedwithhim,\"saidI。\"Hilary,yousee,knowsthelady。\"

  \"What’shername,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Didn’tyounoticehisattentionstoanyone?\"

  \"Inotice!Youdon’tmeanthatI’veseenher?\"

  \"Certainlyyouhave。\"

  \"Wassheeverhere?’

  \"Yes,Mrs。Hilary。Hilarytakescareofthat。\"

  \"Ishallbeangryinaminute,Mr。Carter。Oh,I’llhavethisoutofHilary!\"

  \"Ishould。\"

  \"Whowasshe?\"

  \"AccordingtowhathetoldHilary,shewasthemostfascinatingwomanintheworld,Hilarythoughtso,too。\"

  Mrs。Hilarybegantowalkupanddown。

  \"Oh,soHilaryhelpedtolethimgo,becausetheyboth——?\"

  \"Precisely,\"saidI。

  \"Andyoudaretocomeandtellme?\"

  \"Well,Ithoughtyououghttoknow,\"saidI。\"Hilary’sjustasmadaboutherasJohnny——infact,hesaidhe’dbehangedifhewouldn’thavedonethesamehimself。\"

  IhaveonceseenMadameRistoriplayLadyMacbeth。HerperformancewasrecalledtomebythetonesinwhichMrs。Hilaryasked:

  \"Whoisthiswoman,ifyouplease,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"SoHilarygothimoff——gavehimfiftypoundstoo。\"

  \"Gladtogethimaway,perhaps,\"sheburstout,inangryscorn。

  \"Whoknows?\"saidI。\"Perhaps。\"

  \"Hername?\"demandedLadyMacbeth——ImeanMrs。Hilary——again。

  \"Ishan’ttellyou,unlessyoupromisetosaynothingtoHilary。\"

  \"Tosaynothing!Well,really——\"

  \"Oh,allright!\"andItookupmyhat。

  \"ButIcanwatchthem,can’tI?\"

  \"Asmuchasyoulike。\"

  \"Won’tyoutellme?\"

  \"Ifyoupromise。\"

  \"Well,then,Ipromise。\"

  \"Lookintheglass。\"

  \"Whatfor?\"

  \"Toseeyourface,tobesure。\"

  Shestarted,blushedred,andmovedasteptowardsme。

  \"Youdon’tmean——?\"shecried。

  \"Thouartthewoman,\"saidI。

  \"Oh,butheneversaidaword——\"

  \"Johnnyhadhiscode,\"saidI。\"Andinsomewaysitwasbetterthansomepeople’s——insome,alas!worse。\"

  \"AndHilary?\"

  \"ReallyyouknowbetterthanIdowhetherI’vetoldthetruthaboutHilary。\"

  Apauseensued。ThenMrs。Hilarymadethreeshortremarks,whichIgiveintheirorder:

  (1)\"Thelittlewretch!\"(2)\"DearoldHilary!\"(3)\"Poorlittleman!\"

  Itookmyhat。IknewthatHilarywasduefromthecityinafewminutes。Mrs。Hilarysatdownbythefire。

  \"Howdareyoutormentmeso?\"sheasked,butnotintheleastlikeLadyMacbeth。

  \"Imusthavemylittleamusements,\"saidI。

  \"Whatanaudaciouslittlecreature!\"saidMrs。Hilary。\"Fancyhisdaring!——Aren’tyouastounded?\"

  \"Oh,yes,Iam。ButHilary,yousee——\"

  \"It’snearlyhistime,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  Ibuttonedmyleftgloveandheldoutmyrighthand。

  \"I’veagoodmindnottoshakehandswithyou,\"saidshe。

  \"Wasn’titabsurdofHilary?\"

  \"Horribly。\"

  \"Heoughttohavebeenallthemoreangry。\"

  \"Ofcourseheought。\"

  \"Thepresumptionofit!\"AndMrs。Hilarysmiled。Ialsosmiled。

  \"Thatpooroldmotherofhis,\"reflectedMrs。Hilary。\"Wheredidyousayshelived?\"

  \"Hilaryknowstheaddress,\"saidI。

  \"Sillylittlewretch!\"musedMrs。Hilary,stillsmiling。

  \"Goodbye,\"saidI。

  \"Goodbye,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  Iturnedtowardthedoorandhadlaidmyhandontheknob,whenMrs。Hilarycalledsoftly:

  \"Mr。Carter。\"

  \"Yes,\"saidI,turning。

  \"Doyouknowwherethelittlewretchhasgone?\"

  \"Oh,yes,\"saidI。

  \"I——Isupposeyoudon’teverwritetohim?\"

  \"Dearme,no,\"saidI。

  \"Butyou——could?\"suggestedMrs。Hilary。

  \"Ofcourse,\"saidI。

  Shejumpedupandrantowardsme。Herpursewasinonehand,andabitofpaperflutteredintheother。

  \"Sendhimthat——don’ttellhim,\"shewhispered,andhervoicehadalittlecatchinit。\"Poorlittlewretch!\"saidshe。

  Asforme,Ismiledcynically——quitecynically,youknow;foritwasveryabsurd。

  \"Pleasedo,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  AndIwent。

  Supposingithadbeenanotherwoman?Well,Iwonder!

  ANEXPENSIVEPRIVILEGE

  Aratheruncomfortablethinghappenedtheotherdaywhichthreatenedaschisminmyacquaintanceandputmeinadecidedlyawkwardposition。Itwasnootherthanthis:Mrs。HilaryMusgravehaddefinitelyinformedmethatshedidnotapproveofLadyMickleham。Theattitudeis,nodoubt,aconceivableone,butIwassurprisedthatawomanofMrs。Hilary’slargesympathiesshouldadoptit。Besides,Mrs。Hilaryisquitegood—lookingherself。

  Thehistoryoftheaffairismuchasfollows:IcalledonMrs。

  HilarytoseewhetherIcoulddoanything,andshetoldmeallaboutit。ItappearsthatMrs。Hilaryhadabadcoldandacousinupfromthecountryaboutthesametime(shewasjustlyaggrievedatthedoubleevent),andbeingunabletogototheDuchessofDexminster’s\"squash,\"sheaskedDollyMicklehamtochaperonlittleMissPhyllis。LittleMissPhyllis,ofcourse,knewnoonethere——theDuchessleastofall——(butthenveryfewofus——yes,Iwasthere——knewtheDuchess,andtheDuchessdidn’tknowanyofus;Isawhershakehandswithawaitermyself,justtobeonthesafeside),andanhourafterthepartybeganshewasdiscoveredwanderingaboutinamostdesolatecondition。

  Dollyhadtoldherthatshewouldbeinacertainplace;andwhenMissPhylliscame,Dollywasnotthere。Thepoorlittleladywanderedaboutforanotherhour,lookingsolostthatonewasinclinedtosendforapoliceman;andthenshesatdownonaseatbythewall,and,indesperation,askedhernext—doorneighborifheknewLadyMicklehambysight,andhadheseenherlately?Thenext—doorneighbor,bywayofreply,calledouttoaquietelderlygentlemanwhowassidlingunobtrusivelyabout,\"Duke,arethereanyparticularlysnugcornersinyourhouse?\"TheDukestopped,searchedhismemory,andsaidthatattheendoftheRedCorridortherewasapassage,andthatafewyardsdownthepassage,ifyouturnedverysuddenlytotheright,youwouldcomeonalittlenookunderthestairs。Thelittlenookjustheldasettee,andthesettee(theDukethought)mightjustholdtwopeople。Thenext—doorneighborthankedtheDuke,andobservedtoMissPhyllis——

  \"ItwillgivemegreatpleasuretotakeyoutoLadyMickleham。\"

  Sotheywent,itbeingthen,accordingtoMissPhyllis’swornstatementpreciselytwohoursandfiveminutessinceDollyhaddisappeared;and,pursuingtherouteindicatedbytheDuke,theyfoundLadyMickleham。AndLadyMicklehamexclaimed,\"Goodgracious,mydear,I’dquiteforgottenyou!Haveyouhadanice?

  Dotakehertohaveanice,SirJohn。\"(SirJohnBerrywasthenext—doorneighbor。)AndwiththatLadyMicklehamissaidtohaveresumedherconversation。

  \"Didyoueverhearanythingmoreatrocious?\"concludedMrs。

  Hilary。\"IreallycannotthinkwhatLordMicklehamisdoing。\"

  \"Yousurelymean,whatLadyMickleham——?\"

  \"No,Idon’t,\"saidMrs。Hilary,withextraordinarydecision。

  \"Anythingmighthavehappenedtothatpoorchild!\"

  \"Oh,therewerenotmanyofthearistocracypresent,\"saidI

  soothingly。

  \"Butit’snotthatsomuchasthethingitself。She’sthemostdisgracefulflirtinLondon。\"

  \"Howdoyouknowshewasflirting?\"Iinquiredwithasmile。

  \"HowdoIknow?\"echoedMrs。Hilary。

  \"Itisaveryhastyconclusion,\"Ipersisted。\"SometimesIstaytalkingwithyouforanhourormore。Areyou,therefore,flirtingwithme?\"

  \"Withyou!\"exclaimedMrs。Hilary,withalittlelaugh。

  \"Absurdasthesuppositionis,\"Iremarked,\"ityetservestopointtheargument。LadyMicklehammighthavebeentalkingwithafriend,justinthequietrationalwayinwhichwearetalkingnow。\"

  \"Idon’tthinkthat’slikely,\"saidMrs。Hilary;and——well,Idonotliketosaythatshesniffed——itwouldconveytoostronganidea,butshedidmakeanoddlittlesoundsomethinglikeamuchetherealizedsniff。

  Ismiledagain,andmorebroadly。IwasenjoyingbeforehandthelittlevictorywhichIwastoenjoyoverMrs。Hilary。\"Yetithappenstobetrue,\"saidI。

  Mrs。Hilarywasmagnificentlycontemptuous。

  \"LordMicklehamtoldyouso,Isuppose?\"sheasked。\"AndI

  supposeLadyMicklehamtoldhim——poorman!\"

  \"Whydoyoucallhim’poorman’?\"

  \"Oh,nevermind。Didhetellyou?\"

  \"Certainlynot。Thefactis,Mrs。Hilary——andreally,youmustexcusemeforhavingkeptyouinthedarkalittle——itamusedmesomuchtohearyoursuspicions。\"

  Mrs。Hilaryrosetoherfeet。

  \"Well,whatareyougoingtosay?\"sheasked。

  Ilaughed,asIanswered:\"Why,IwasthemanwithLadyMicklehamwhenyourfriendandBerryinter——whentheyarrived,youknow。\"

  Well,Ishouldhavethought——Ishouldstillthink——thatshewouldhavebeenpleased——relieved,youknow,tofindheruncharitableopinionerroneous,andpleasedtohaveitalteredonthebestauthority。I’msurethatishowIshouldhavefelt。Itwasnot,however,howMrs。Hilaryfelt。

  \"Iamdeeplypained,\"sheobservedafteralongpause;andthensheheldoutherhand。

  \"Iwassureyou’dforgivemylittledeception,\"saidI,graspingit。Ithoughtstillthatshemeanttoburyallunkindness。

  \"Ishouldneverhavethoughtitofyou,\"shewenton。

  \"Ididn’tknowyourfriendwasthereatall,\"Ipleaded;forbynowIwasalarmed。

  \"Oh,pleasedon’tshufflelikethat,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  Shecontinuedtostand,andIrosetomyfeet。Mrs。Hilaryheldoutherhandagain。

  \"DoyoumeanthatI’mtogo?\"saidI。

  \"Ihopeweshallseeyouagainsomeday,\"saidMrs。Hilary;thetonesuggestedthatshewaslookingforwardtosomefutureexistence,whenmyearthlysinsshouldhavebeensufficientlypurged。ItremindedmeforthemomentofKingArthurandQueenGuinevere。

  \"ButIprotest,\"Ibegan,\"thatmyonlyobjectintellingyouwastoshowyouhowabsurd——\"

  \"Isitanygoodtalkingaboutitnow?\"askedMrs。Hilary。A

  discussionmightpossiblybefruitfulinthedimfuturitybeforementioned——butnotnow——thatwaswhatsheseemedtosay。

  \"LadyMicklehamandI,ontheoccasioninquestion——\"Ibeganwithdignity。

  \"Pray,spareme,\"quoteMrs。Hilary,withmuchgreaterdignity。

  Itookmyhat。

  \"ShallyoubeathomeasusualonThursday?\"Iasked。

  \"Ihaveagreatmanypeoplecomingalready,\"sheremarked。

  \"Icantakeahint,\"saidI。

  \"Iwishyou’dtakewarning,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  \"Iwilltakemyleave,\"saidI——andIdid,leavingMrs。Hilaryinatragicattitudeinthemiddleoftheroom。NeveragainshallIgooutofmywaytolullMrs。Hilary’ssuspicions。

  Adayortwoafterthisverytryinginterview,LadyMickleham’svictoriahappenedtostopoppositewhereIwasseatedinthepark。Iwenttopaymyrespects。

  \"Doyoumeantoleavemenothingintheworld,\"Iasked,justbywayofintroducingthesubjectofMrs。Hilary。\"Oneofmybestfriendshasturnedmeoutofherhouseonyouraccount。\"

  \"Oh,dotellme,\"saidDolly,dimplingalloverherface。

  SoItoldher;ImadethestoryaslongasIcouldforreasonsconnectedwiththedimples。

  \"Whatfun!\"exclaimedDolly。\"Itoldyouatthetimethatayoungunmarriedpersonlikeyououghttobemorecareful。\"

  \"Iamjustdebating,\"Iobserved,\"whethertosacrificeyou。\"

  \"Tosacrificeme,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Ofcourse,\"Iexplained;\"ifIdroppedyou,Mrs。Hilarywouldletmecomeagain。\"

  \"Howcharmingthatwouldbe!\"criedDolly。\"Youwouldenjoyherniceseriousconversation——allaboutHilary!\"

  \"Sheisapt,Iconceded,\"totouchonHilary。Butsheisverypicturesque。\"

  \"Oh,yes,she’shandsome,\"saidDolly。

  Therewasapause。ThenDollysaid,\"Well?\"

  \"Well?\"saidIinreturn。

  \"Itisgoodbye?\"askedDolly,drawingdownthecornersofhermouth。

  \"Itcomestothis,\"Iremarked。\"SupposingIforgiveyou——\"

  \"Asifitwasmyfault?\"

  \"AndriskMrs。Hilary’swrath——didyouspeak?\"

  \"No;Ilaughed,Mr。Carter。\"

  \"WhatshallIgetoutofit?\"

  Thesunwasshiningbrightly;itshoneonDolly;shehadraisedherparasol,butsheblinkedalittlebeneathit。Shewassmilingslightlystill,andthedimplestucktoitspost——likeasentinel,readytorousetherestfromtheirbriefrepose。Dollylaybackinthevictoria,nestlingluxuriouslyagainstthesoftcushions。Sheturnedhereyesforamomentonme。

  \"Whyareyoulookingatme?\"sheasked。

  \"Because,\"saidI,\"thereisnothingbettertolookat。\"

  \"Doyoulikedoingit?\"askedDolly。

  \"Itisaprivilege,\"saidIpolitely。

  \"Well,then!\"saidDolly。

  \"But,\"Iventuredtoobserve,\"it’sratheranexpensiveone。\"

  \"Thenyoumustn’thaveitveryoften。\"

  \"Anditissharedbysomanypeople。\"

  \"Then,\"saidDolly,smilingindulgently,\"youmusthaveit——alittleoftener。Home,Roberts,please。\"

  IamnotyetallowedatMrs。HilaryMusgrave’s。

  AVERYDULLAFFAIR

  \"Tohearyoutalk,\"remarkedMrs。HilaryMusgrave——and,ifanyoneissurprisedtofindmeatherhouse,IcanonlysaythatHilary,whenheaskedmetotakeapot—luck,wasquiteignorantofanygroundofdifferencebetweenhiswifeandmyself,andthatMrs。Hilarycouldnotverywellejectmeonmyarrivalineveningdressattenminutestoeight——\"tohearyoutalkonewouldthinkthattherewasnosuchthingasreallove。\"

  Shepaused。Ismiled。

  \"Now,\"shecontinued,turningafine,butscornfuleyeuponme,\"Ihavenevercaredforanymanintheworldexceptmyhusband。\"

  Ismiledagain。PoorHilarylookedveryuncomfortable。WithanapologeticairhebegantostammersomethingaboutParishCouncils。Iwasnottobedivertedbyanysuchmaneuver。Itwasimpossiblethathecouldreallywishtotalkonthatsubject。

  \"Wouldapersonwhohadnevereatenanythingbutbeefmakeaboastofit?\"Iasked。

  Hilarygrinnedcovertly。Mrs。Hilarypulledthelampnearer,andtookupherembroidery。

  \"Doyoualwaysworkthesamepattern?\"saidI。

  Hilarykickedmegently。Mrs。Hilarymadenodirectreply,butpresentlyshebegantotalk。

  \"IwasjustaboutPhyllis’sage——(bytheway,littleMissPhylliswasthere)——whenIfirstsawHilary。Youremember,Hilary?AtBournemouth?\"

  \"Oh——er——wasitBournemouth?\"saidHilary,withmuchcarelessness。

  \"Iwasonthepier,\"pursuedMrs。Hilary。\"Ihadaredfrockon,Iremember,andoneofthosebighatstheyworethatyear。

  Hilarywore——\"

  \"Blueserge,\"Iinterpolated,encouragingly。

  \"Yes,blueserge,\"saidshefondly。\"Hehadbeenyachting,andhewasbeautifullyburnt。Iwashorriblyburnt——wasn’tI,Hilary?\"

  Hilarybegantopatthedog。

  \"Thenwegottoknowoneanother。\"

  \"Stopaminute,\"saidI。\"Howdidthathappen?\"Mrs。Hilaryblushed。

  \"Well,wewerebothalwaysonthepier,\"sheexplained。

  \"And——andsomehowHilarygottoknowfather,and——andfatherintroducedhimtome。\"

  \"I’mgladitwasnoworse,\"saidI。IwasconsideringMissPhyllis,whosatlistening,open—eyed。

  \"Andthenyouknow,fatherwasn’talwaysthere;andonceortwicewemetonthecliff。Doyourememberthatmorning,Hilary?\"

  \"Whatmorning?\"askedHilary,pattingthedogwithimmenseassiduity。

  \"Why,themorningIhadmywhitesergeon。I’dbeenbathing,andmyhairwasdowntodry,andyousaidIlookedlikeamermaid。\"

  \"Domermaidswearwhiteserge?\"Iasked;butnobodytooktheleastnoticeofme——quiteproperly。

  \"Andyoutoldmesuchalotaboutyourself;andthenwefoundwewerelateforlunch。\"

  \"Yes,\"saidHilary,suddenlyforgettingthedog,\"andyourmothergavemeanawfulglance。\"

  \"Yes,andthenyoutoldmethatyouwereverypoor,butthatyoucouldn’thelpit;andyousaidyousupposedIcouldn’tpossibly——\"

  \"Well,Ididn’tthink——!\"

  \"AndIsaidyouwereasillyoldthing;andthen——\"Mrs。Hilarystoppedabruptly。

  \"Howlovely,\"remarkedlittleMissPhyllisinawistfulvoice。

  \"Anddoyouremember,\"pursuedMrs。Hilary,layingdownherembroideryandclaspingherhandsonherknees,\"themorningyouwenttoseefather?\"

  \"Whatarowtherewas!\"saidHilary。

  \"Andwhatanawfulweekitwasafterthat!Iwasneversomiserableinallmylife。Icriedtillmyeyeswerequitered,andthenIbathedthemforanhour,andthenIwenttothepier,andyouwerethere——andImightn’tspeaktoyou!\"

  \"Iremember,\"saidHilary,noddinggently。

  \"Andthen,Hilary,fathersentformeandtoldmeitwasnouse;

  andIsaidI’dnevermarryanyoneelse。Andfathersaid,’There,there,don’tcry。We’llseewhatmothersays。’\"

  \"Yourmotherwasabrick,\"saidHilary,pokingthefire。

  \"Andthatnighttheynevertoldmeanythingaboutit,andI

  didn’tevenchangemyfrock,butcamedown,lookinghorrible,justasIwas,inanoldblackrag——no,Hilary,don’tsayitwaspretty!\"

  Hilary,unconvinced,shookhishead。

  \"AndwhenIwalkedintothedrawingroomtherewasnobodytherebutjustyou;andweneitherofussaidanythingforeversolong。Andthenfatherandmothercameinand——doyourememberafterdinner,Hilary?\"

  \"Iremember,\"saidHilary。

  Therewasalongpause。Mrs。Hilarywaslookingintothefire;

  littleMissPhyllis’seyeswerefixed,inraptgaze,ontheceiling;Hilarywaslookingathiswife——I,thinkingitsafest,wasregardingmyownboots。

  AtlastMissPhyllisbrokethesilence。

  \"Howperfectlylovely!\"shesaid。

  \"Yes,\"saidMrs。Hilary,reflectively。\"Andweweremarriedthreemonthsafterwards。\"

  \"TenthofJune,\"saidHilaryreflectively。

  \"Andwehadthemostcharminglittleroomsintheworld!Doyourememberthosefirstrooms,dear?Sotiny!\"

  \"Notbadlittlerooms,\"saidHilary。

  \"Howawfullylovely,\"criedlittleMissPhyllis。

  Ifeltthatitwastimetointerfere。

  \"Andisthatall?\"Iasked。

  \"All?Howdoyoumean?\"saidMrs。Hilary,withaslightstart。

  \"Well,Imean,didnothingelsehappen?Weren’tthereanycomplications?Weren’tthereanymoretroubles,oranymoreopposition,oranymisunderstandings,oranything?\"

  \"No,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  \"Youneverquarreled,orbrokeitoff?\"

  \"No。\"

  \"Nobodycamebetweenyou?\"

  \"No。Itallwentjustperfectly。Why,ofcourseitdid。\"

  \"Hilary’speoplemadethemselvesnasty,perhaps?\"Isuggested,witharayofhope。

  \"Theyfellinlovewithheronthespot,\"saidHilary。

  ThenIroseandstoodwithmybacktothefire。

  \"Idonotknow,\"Iobserved,\"whatMissPhyllisthinksaboutit——\"

  \"Ithinkitwasjustperfect,Mr。Carter。\"

  \"Butformypart,IcanonlysaythatIneverheardofsuchadullaffairinallmylife。\"

  \"Dull!\"gaspedMissPhyllis。

  \"Dull!\"murmuredMrs。Hilary。

  \"Dull!\"chuckledHilary。

  \"Itwas,\"saidIseverely,\"withoutasparkofinterestfrombeginningtoend。Suchthingshappenbythousands。It’scommonplacenessitself。Ihadsomehopeswhenyoufatherassumedafirmattitude,but——\"

  \"Motherwassuchadear,\"interruptedMrs。Hilary。

  \"Justso。Shegaveawaythewholesituation。ThenIdidtrustthatHilarywouldlosehisplace,ordevelopanoldflame,ordosomethingjustalittleinteresting。\"

  \"Itwasaperfecttime,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  \"Iwonderwhyintheworldyoutoldmeaboutit,\"Ipursued。

  \"Idon’tknowwhyIdid,\"saidMrs。Hilarydreamily。

  \"Theonlypossibleexcuseforanengagementlikethat,\"I

  observed,\"istobefoundinintensepost—nuptialunhappiness。\"

  Hilaryrose,andadvancedtowardshiswife。

  \"Yourembroidery’sfallingonthefloor,\"saidhe。

  \"Notabitofit,\"saidI。

  \"Yes,itis,\"hepersisted;andhepickeditupandgaveittoher。MissPhyllissmileddelightedly。Hilaryhadsqueezedhiswife’shand。

  \"Thenwedon’texcuseit,\"saidhe。

  Itookoutmywatch。Iwasnotfindingmuchentertainment。

  \"Surelyit’squiteearly,oldman?\"saidHilary。

  \"It’snearlyeleven。We’vespenthalf—an—houronthething,\"

  saidIpeevishly,holdingoutmyhandtomyhostess。

  \"Oh,areyougoing?Goodnight,Mr。Carter。\"

  IturnedtoMissPhyllis。

  \"Ihopeyouwon’tthinkallloveaffairsarelikethat,\"Isaid;

  butIsawherlipsbegintoshapeinto\"lovely,\"andIhastilylefttheroom。

  Hilarycametohelpmeonwithmycoat。Helookedextremelyapologetic,andverymuchashamedofhimself。

  \"Awfullysorry,oldchap,\"saidhe,\"thatweboredyouwithourreminiscences。Iknow,ofcourse,thattheycan’tbeveryinterestingtootherpeople。Womenaresoconfoundedlyromantic。\"

  \"Don’ttrythatonme,\"saidI,muchdisgusted。\"Youwerejustasbadyourself。\"

  Helaughed,asheleantagainstthedoor。

  \"Shedidlookrippinginthatwhitefrock,\"hesaid,\"withherhair——\"

  \"Stop,\"saidIfirmly。\"Shelookedjustlikealotofothergirls。\"

  \"I’mhangedifshedid!\"saidHilary。

  Thenheglancedatmewithapuzzledsortofexpression。

  \"Isay,oldman,weren’tyoueverthatwayyourself?\"heasked。

  Ihailedahansomcab。

  \"Because,ifyouwere,youknow,you’dunderstandhowafellowremembersevery——\"

  \"Goodnight,\"saidI。\"AtleastIsupposeyou’renotcomingtotheclub?\"

  \"Well,Ithinknot,\"saidHilary。\"Ta—ta,oldfellow。Sorryweboredyou。Ofcourse,ifamanhasnever——\"

  \"Never!\"Igroaned。\"Ascoreoftimes!\"

  \"Well,then,doesn’tit——?

  \"No,\"saidI。\"It’sjustthatthatmakesstorieslikeyourssoinfernally——\"

  \"What?\"askedHilary;forIhadpausedtolightacigarette。

  \"Uninteresting,\"saidI,gettingintomycab。

  STRANGE,BUTTRUE

  TheotherdaymyyoungcousinGeorgelunchedwithme。Heisacheeryyouth,andamemberoftheUniversityofOxford。Herefreshesmeverymuch,andIbelievethatIhavethepleasureofaffordinghimsomematterforthought。Onthisoccasion,however,hewasextremelysilentanddepressed。Isaidlittle,butmadeanextremelygoodluncheon。AfterwardsweproceededtotakeastrollinthePark。

  \"Sam,oldboy,\"saidGeorgesuddenly,\"I’mthemostmiserabledevilalive。\"

  \"Idon’tknowwhatelseyouexpectatyourage,\"Iobserved,lightingacigar。Hewalkedoninsilenceforafewmoments。

  \"Isay,Sam,oldboy,whenyouwereyoung,wereyouever——?\"hepaused,arrangedhisneckcloth(itwasmorelikeabed—quilt——oh,thefashion,ofcourse,Iknowthat),andblushedafinecrimson。

  \"WasIeverwhat,George?\"Ihadthecuriositytoask。

  \"Oh,well,hardhit,youknow——agirl,youknow。\"

  \"Inlove,youmean,George?No,Ineverwas。\"

  \"Never?\"

  \"No。Areyou?\"

  \"Yes。Hangit!\"Thenhelookedatmewithapuzzledairandcontinued:

  \"Isay,though,Sam,it’sawfullyfunnyyoushouldn’thave——don’tyouknowwhatit’slike,then?\"

  \"HowshouldI?\"Iinquiredapologetically。\"Whatisitlike,George?\"

  Georgetookmyarm。

  \"It’sjustHades,\"heinformedmeconfidentially。

  \"Then,\"Iremarked,\"Ihavenoreasontoregret——?\"

  \"Still,youknow,\"interruptedGeorge,\"it’snothalfbad。\"

  \"Thatappearstometobeaparadox,\"Iobserved。

  \"It’sprecioushardtoexplainittoyouifyou’veneverfeltit,\"saidGeorge,inratheraninjuredtone。\"ButwhatIsayisquitetrue。\"

  \"Ishouldn’tthinkofcontradictingyou,mydearfellow,\"I

  hastenedtosay。

  \"Let’ssitdown,\"saidhe,\"andwatchthepeopledriving。Wemayseesomebody——somebodyweknow,youknow,Sam。\"

  \"Sowemay,\"saidI,andwesatdown。

  \"Afellow,\"pursuedGeorge,withknittedbrows,\"isallturnedupsidedown,don’tyouknow?\"

  \"Howverypeculiar?\"Iexclaimed。

  \"Onemomenthe’sthehappiestdogintheworld,andthenext——well,thenext,it’sthedeuce。\"

  \"But,\"Iobjected,\"notsurelywithoutgoodreasonforsuchachange?\"

  \"Reason?Bosh!Theleastthingdoesit。\"

  Iflickedtheashfrommycigar。

  \"Itmay,\"Iremarked,\"affectyouinthisextraordinaryway,butsurelyitisnotsowithmostpeople?\"

  \"Perhapsnot,\"Georgeconceded。\"Mostpeoplearecold—bloodedasses。\"

  \"Verylikelytheexplanationliesinthatfact,\"saidI。

  \"Ididn’tmeanyou,oldchap,\"saidGeorge,withapenitencewhichshowedthathehadmeantme。

  \"Oh,allright,allright,\"saidI。

  \"Butwhenaman’sreallyfargonethere’snothingelseintheworldbutit。\"

  \"Thatseemstomenottobeahealthycondition,\"saidI。

  \"Healthy?Oh,youoldidiot,Sam!Who’stalkingofhealth?

  Now,onlylastnightImetheratadance。Ihadfivedanceswithher——talkedtoherhalftheevening,infact。Well,you’dthinkthatwouldlastsometime,wouldn’tyou?\"

  \"Ishouldcertainlyhavesupposedso,\"Iassented。

  \"Soitwouldwithmostchaps,Idaresay,butwithme——confoundit,IfeelasifIhadn’tseenherforsixmonths!\"

  \"But,mydearGeorge,that’ssurelyratherabsurd?Asyoutellme,youspentalongwhilewiththeyoungperson——\"

  \"The——youngperson!\"

  \"You’venottoldmehername,yousee。\"

  \"No,andIshan’t。Iwonderifshe’llbeattheMusgraves’

  tonight!\"

  \"You’resure,\"saidIsoothingly,\"tomeethersomewhereinthecourseofthenextfewweeks。\"

  Georgelookedatme。Thenheobservedwithabitterlaugh:

  \"It’sprettyevidentyou’veneverhadit。You’reasbadasthosechapswhowritebooks。\"

  \"Well,butsurelytheyoftendescribewithsufficientwarmthand——er——color——\"

  \"Oh,Idaresay;butit’sallwrong。Atleast,it’snotwhatI

  feel。Thenlookatthegirlsinbooks!Allbeasts!\"

  Georgespokewithmuchvehemence;sothatIwasledtosay:

  \"Theladyyouarepreoccupiedwithis,Isuppose,handsome?\"

  Georgeturnedswiftlyroundonme。

  \"Lookhere,canyouholdyourtongue,Sam?\"

  Inodded。

  \"ThenI’mhangedifIwon’tpointherouttoyou?\"

  \"That’suncommongoodofyou,George,\"saidI。

  \"Thenyou’llsee,\"continuedGeorge。\"Butit’snotonlyherlooks,youknow,she’sthemost——\"

  Hestopped。Lookingroundtoseewhy,Iobservedthathisfacewasred;heclutchedhiswalkingsticktightlyinhislefthand;

  hisrighthandwastrembling,asifitwantedtojumpuptohishat。\"Hereshecomes!Look,look!\"hewhispered。

  Directingmyeyestowardsthelinesofcarriageswhichrolledpastus,Iobservedagirlinavictoria;byhersidesataportlyladyofmiddleage。Thegirlwasdecidedlylikethelady;

  adescriptionoftheladywouldnot,Iimagine,beinteresting。

  Thegirlblushedslightlyandbowed。GeorgeandIliftedourhats。Thevictoriaanditsoccupantsweregone。Georgeleantbackwithasigh。Afteramoment,hesaid:

  \"Well,thatwasher。\"

  Therewasexpectancyinhistone。

  \"Shehasanextremelyprepossessingappearance,\"Iobserved。

  \"Thereisn’t,\"saidGeorge,\"agirlinLondontotouchher。Sam,oldboy,Ibelieve——Ibelieveshelikesmeabit。\"

  \"I’msureshemust,George,\"saidI;andindeed,Ithoughtso。

  \"TheGovernor’sinfernallyunreasonable,\"saidGeorge,fretfully。

  \"Oh,you’vementionedittohim?\"

  \"Isoundedhim。Oh,youmaybesurehedidn’tseewhatIwasupto。Iputitquitegenerally。Hetalkedrotaboutgettingonintheworld。Whowantstogeton?\"

  \"Who,indeed?\"saidI。\"Itisonlychangingwhatyouareforsomethingnobetter。\"

  \"AndaboutwaitingtillIknowmyownmind。Isn’titenoughtolookather?\"

  \"Ample,inmyopinion,\"saidI。

  Georgerosetohisfeet。

  \"They’vegonetoaparty,theywon’tcomeroundagain,\"saidhe。

  \"Wemayaswellgo,mayn’twe?\"

  Iwasverycomfortable,soIsaidtimidly:

  \"Wemightseesomebodyelseweknow。\"

  \"Oh,somebodyelsebehanged!Whowantstoseeem?\"

  \"I’msureIdon’t。\"saidIhastily,asIrosefrommyarmchair,whichwasatoncesnappedup。

  Wewereabouttoreturntotheclub,whenIobservedLadyMickleham’sbarouchestandingunderthetrees。IinvitedGeorgetocomeandbeintroduced。

  Hedisplayedgreatindifference。

  \"Shegivesagoodmanyparties,\"saidI;\"andperhaps——\"

  \"ByJove!Yes,Imayaswell,\"saidGeorge。\"Gladyouhadthesensetothinkofthat,oldman。\"

  SoItookhimuptoDollyandpresentedhim。Dollywasverygracious;Georgeisanevidentlypresentableboy。Wefellintoconversation。

  \"Mycousin,LadyMickleham,\"saidI,\"hasbeentellingme——\"

  \"Oh,shutup,Sam!\"saidGeorge,not,however,appearingveryangry。

  \"AboutasubjectonwhichyoucanassisthimmorethanIcan,inasmuchasyouaremarried。Heisinlove。\"

  DollyglancedatGeorge。

  \"Oh,whatfun!\"saidshe。

  \"Fun!\"criedGeorge。

  \"Imean,howawfullyinteresting,\"saidDolly,suddenlytransformingherexpression。

  \"Andhewantedtobeintroducedtoyoubecauseyoumightaskherandhimto——\"

  Georgebecamered,andbegantostammeranapology。

  \"Oh,Idon’tbelievehim,\"saidDollykindly;\"healwaysmakespeopleuncomfortableifhecan。Whatwereyoutellinghim,Mr。

  George?\"

  \"It’snousetellinghimanything。Hecan’tunderstand,\"saidGeorge。

  \"Isshevery——?\"askedDolly,fixingdoubtfullygraveeyesonmyyoungcousin。

  \"Sam’sseenher,\"saidhe,inanexcessofshyness。

  Dollyturnedtomeforanopinion,andIgaveone:

  \"Sheisjust,\"saidI,\"ascharmingashethinksher。\"

  Dollyleantovertomycousin,andwhispered,\"Tellmehername。\"

  AndhewhisperedsomethingbacktoDolly。

  \"It’sawfullykindofyou,LadyMickleham,\"hesaid。

  \"Iamakindoldthing,\"saidDolly,alloverdimples。\"Icaneasilygettoknowthem。\"

  \"Oh,youreallyareawfullykind,LadyMickleham。\"

  Dollysmileduponhim,wavedherhandtome,anddroveoff,crying——

  \"DotrytomakeMr。Carterunderstand!\"

  Wewereleftalong。Georgeworeameditativesmile。Presentlyherousedhimselftosay:

  \"She’sreallyaverykindwoman。She’ssosympathetic。She’snotlikeyou。Iexpectshefeltitonceherself,youknow。\"

  \"Onecannevertell,\"saidIcarelessly。\"Perhapsshedid——once。\"

  Georgefelltobroodingagain。IthoughtIwouldtryanexperiment。

  \"Notaltogetherbad—looking,either,isshe?\"Iasked,lightingacigarette。

  Georgestarted。

  \"What?Oh,well,Idon’tknow。Isupposesomepeoplemightthinkso。\"

  Hepaused,andadded,withabashful,knowingsmile——

  \"Youcanhardlyexpectmetogointorapturesabouther,canyou,oldman?\"

  Iturnedmyheadaway,buthecaughtme。

  \"Oh,youneedn’tsmileinthatinfernallypatronizingway,\"hecriedangrily。

  \"Uponmyword,George,\"saidI,\"Idon’tknowthatIneed。\"

  THEVERYLATESTTHING

  \"It’stheverylatestthing,\"saidLadyMickleham,standingbythetableinthesmokingroom,andholdinganalbuminherhand。

  \"Iwishithadbeenalittlelaterstill,\"saidI,forIfeltembarrassed。

  \"Youpromise,onyourhonor,tobeabsolutelysincere,youknow,andthenyouwritewhatyouthinkofme。SeewhatalotofopinionsI’vegotalready,\"andsheheldupthethickalbum。

  \"Itwouldbeextremelyinterestingtoreadthem,\"Iobserved。

  \"Oh!\"butthey’requiteconfidential,\"saidDolly。\"That’spartofthefun。\"

  \"Idon’tappreciatethatpart,\"saidI。

  \"Perhapsyouwillwhenyou’vewrittenyours,\"suggestedLadyMickleham。

  \"Meanwhile,mayn’tIseetheDowager’s?\"

  \"Well,I’llshowyoualittlebitoftheDowager’s。Lookhere:

  OurdearDorotheaisstillperhapsjustathoughtwantinginseriousness,butthesenseofherpositionishavingasoberingeffect。’\"

  \"Ihopenot,\"Iexclaimedapprehensively。\"Whoseisthis?\"

  \"Archie’s。\"

  \"MayIseeabit——?\"

  \"Notabit,\"saidDolly。\"Archie’sis——isratherfoolish,Mr。

  Carter。\"

  \"SoIsuppose,\"saidI。

  \"Dearboy!\"saidDollyreflectively。

  \"Ihatesentiment,\"saidI。\"Here’salongone。Whowrote——?\"

  \"Oh,youmustn’tlookatthat——notatthat,aboveall!\"

  \"Whyaboveall?\"Iaskedwithsomeseverity。

  Dollysmiled;thensheobservedinasoothingtone。

  \"Perhapsitwon’tbe’aboveall’whenyou’vewrittenyours,Mr。

  Carter。\"

  \"Bytheway,\"Isaidcarelessly,\"IsupposeArchieseesallofthem?\"

  \"Hehasneveraskedtoseethem,\"answeredLadyMickleham。

  Thereplyseemedsatisfactory;ofcourse,Archiehadonlytoask。

  Itookacleanquillandpreparedtowrite。

  \"Youpromisetobesincere,youknow,\"Dollyremindedme。

  Ilaiddownmypen。

  \"Impossible!\"saidIfirmly。

  \"O,butwhy,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Therewouldbeanendofourfriendship。\"

  \"Doyouthinkasbadlyofmeasallthat?\"askedDollywitharuefulair。

  Ileantbackinmychair,andlookedatDolly。Shelookedatme。

  Shesmiled。Imayhavesmiled。

  \"Yes,\"saidI。

  \"Thenyouneedn’twriteitquitealldown,\"saidDolly。

  \"Iamobliged,\"saidI,takingupmypen。

  \"Youmustn’tsaywhatisn’ttrue,butyouneedn’tsayeverythingthatis——thatmightbe——true,\"explainedDolly。

  This,again,seemedsatisfactory。Ibegantowrite,Dollysittingoppositemewithherelbowsonthetable,andwatchingme。

  Aftertenminutes’steadywork,whichincludedseveralpausesforreflection,Ithrewdownthepen,leantbackinmychair,andlitacigarette。

  \"Nowreadit,\"saidDolly,herchininherhandsandhereyesfixedonme。

  \"Itis,onthewhole,\"Iobserved,\"complimentary。\"

  \"No,really,\"saidDolly。\"Yetyoupromisedtobesincere。\"

  \"Youwouldnothavehadmedisagreeable?\"Iasked。

  \"That’sadifferentthing,\"saidDolly。\"Readit,please。\"

  \"LadyMickleham,\"Iread,\"isusuallyaccountedapersonofconsiderableattractions。Sheiswidelypopular,andmorethanonewomanhasbeenknowntolikeher。\"

  \"Idon’tquiteunderstandthat,\"interruptedDolly。

  \"Itissurelysimple,\"saidI;andIreadonwithoutdelay。\"Sheiskindeventoherhusband,andtakestheutmostpainstoconcealfromhermother—in—lawanythingcalculatedtodistressthatlady。\"

  \"Isupposeyoumeanthattobenice?\"saidDolly。

  \"Ofcourse,\"Ianswered;andIproceeded:\"Shenevergivespaintoanyone,exceptwiththeobjectofgivingpleasuretosomebodyelse,andherkindnessisnolesswidelydiffusedthanitisheartyandsincere。\"

  \"Thatreallyisnice,\"saidDolly,smiling。

  \"Thankyou,\"saidI,smilingalso。\"Sheisverycharitable;shetakesapleasureinencouragingtheshyandbashful——\"

  \"Howdoyouknowthat?\"askedDolly。

  \"While,\"Ipursued,\"sufferingwithoutimpatienceaconsiderableamountofself—assurance。\"

  \"Youcan’tknowwhetherI’mpatientornot,\"remarkedDolly。

  \"I’mpolite。\"

  \"Shethinks,\"Ireadon,\"noevilofthemostattractiveofwomen,andhasasmileforthemostunattractiveofmen。\"

  \"Youputthatverynicely,\"saidDolly,nodding。

  \"Theformermayconstantlybeseeninherhouse——andthelatteratleastasoftenasmanypeoplewouldthinkdesirable。\"(HereforsomereasonDollylaughed。)\"Herintellectualpowersarenotdespicable。\"

  \"Thankyou,Mr。Carter。\"

  \"Shecansaywhatshemeansontheoccasionsonwhichshewishestodoso,andsheis,atothertimes,equallycapableofmeaningmuchmorethanshewouldbelikelytosay。\"

  \"Howdoyoumeanthat,Mr。Carter,please?\"

  \"Itexplainsitself,\"saidI,andIproceeded:\"Thefactofherreceivingaremarkwithdisapprobationdoesnotnecessarilymeanthatitcausesherdispleasure,normustitbeassumedthatshedidnotexpectavisitormerelyonthegroundthatshegreetshimwithsurprise。\"

  HereIobservedLadyMicklehamlookingatmerathersuspiciously。

  \"Idon’tthinkthat’squiteniceofyou,Mr。Carter,\"shesaidpathetically。

  \"LadyMicklehamis,inshort,\"Iwenton,comingtomyperoration,\"equallydeservingofesteemandaffection——\"

  \"Esteemandaffection!Thatsoundsjustright,\"saidDollyapprovingly。

  \"Andthosewhohavebeenadmittedtotheenjoymentofherfriendshipareunanimousindiscouragingallothersfromseekingasimilarprivilege。\"

  \"Ibegyourpardon?\"criedLadyMickleham。

  \"Areunanimous,\"Irepeated,slowlyanddistinctly,\"indiscouragingallothersfromseekingasimilarprivilege。\"

  Dollylookedatme,withherbrowslightlypuckered。Ileantback,puffingatmycigarette。Presently——fortherewasquitealongpause——Dolly’slipscurved。

  \"Mymentalpowersarenotdespicable,\"sheobserved。

  \"Ihavesaidso,\"saidI。

  \"IthinkIsee,\"sheremarked。

  \"Isthereanythingwrong?\"Iaskedanxiously。

  \"N—no,\"saidDolly,\"notexactlywrong。Infact,IratherthinkIlikethatlastbitbest。Still,don’tyouthink——?

  Sherose,cameroundthetable,tookupthepen,andputitbackinmyhand。\"What’sthisfor?\"Iasked。

  \"Tocorrectthemistake,\"saidDolly。

  \"Doyoureallythinkso?\"saidI。

  \"I’mafraidso,\"saidDolly。

  Itookthepenandmadeacertainalteration。Dollytookupthealbum。

  \"’Areunanimous,’\"sheread,\"inencouragingallotherstoseekasimilarprivilege。’Yes,youmeantthat,youknow,Mr。

  Carter。\"

  \"IsupposeImusthave,\"saidIrathersulkily。

  \"Theotherwasnonsense,\"urgedDolly。

  \"Oh,utternonsense,\"saidI。

  \"Andyouhadtowritethetruth!\"

  \"Yes,Ihadtowritesomeofit。\"

  \"Andnonsensecan’tbethetruth,canit,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Ofcourseitcan’t,LadyMickleham。\"

  \"Whereareyougoing,Mr。Carter?\"sheasked;forIrosefrommychair。

  \"Tohaveaquietsmoke,\"saidI。

  \"Alone?\"askedDolly。

  \"Yes,alone,\"saidI。

  Iwalkedtowardsthedoor。Dollystoodbythetablefingeringthealbum。Ihadalmostreachedthedoor;thenIhappenedtolookround。

  \"Mr。Carter!\"saidDolly,asthoughanewideahadstruckher。

  \"Whatisit,LadyMickleham?\"

  \"Well,youknow,Mr。Carter,I——Ishalltrytoforgetthatmistakeofyours。\"

  \"You’reverykind,LadyMickleham。\"

  \"But,\"saidDollywithatroubledsmile,\"I——I’mquiteafraidI

  shan’tsucceed,Mr。Carter。\"

  Afterall,thesmokingroomismeantforsmoking。

  ANUNCOUNTEDHOUR

  Wewerestanding,LadyMicklehamandI,atadoorwhichledfromthemorningroomtotheterraceatTheTowers。Iwasonavisittothehistoricpile(byVanbrugh——outofthemoneyaccumulatedbythethirdEarl——PaymastertotheForces——temp。QueenAnne)。

  Themorningroomisalargeroom。Archiewassomewhereinit。

  LadyMicklehamheldajarcontainingpatedefoiegras;fromtimetotimeshedugapieceoutwithaforkandflungthemorseltoabigretrieverwhichwassittingontheterrace。Themorningwasfine,butcloudy。LadyMicklehamworeblue。Thedogswallowedthepatewithgreediness。

  \"It’ssobadforhim,\"sighedshe;\"butthedearlikesitsomuch。\"

  \"Howhumanthecreaturesare,\"saidI。

  \"Doyouknow,\"pursuedLadyMickleham,\"thattheDowagersaysI’mextravagant。Shethinksdogsoughtnottobefedonpatedefoiegras。\"

  \"Yourextravagance,\"Iobserved,\"isprobablyduetoyourhavingbeenbroughtuponamoderateincome。Ihavefelttheeffectmyself。\"

  \"Ofcourse,\"saidDolly,\"wearehitbytheagriculturaldepression。\"

  \"TheCartersalso,\"Imurmured,\"arelandedgentry。\"

  \"Afterall,Idon’tseemuchpointineconomy,doyou,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Economy,\"Iremarked,puttingmyhandsinmypockets,\"isgoingwithoutsomethingyoudowantincaseyoushould,someday,wantsomethingwhichyouprobablywon’twant。\"

  \"Isn’tthatclever?\"askedDollyinanapprehensivetone。

  \"Oh,dear,no,\"Iansweredreassuringly。\"Anybodycandothat——iftheycaretotry,youknow。\"

  Dollytossedapieceofpatetotheretriever。

  \"Ihavemadeadiscoverylately,\"Iobserved。

  \"Whatareyoutwotalkingabout?\"calledArchie。

  \"You’renotmeanttohear,\"saidDolly,withoutturninground。

  \"Yet,ifit’sadiscovery,heoughttohearit。\"

  \"He’smadeagoodmanylately,\"saidDolly。

  Shedugoutthelastbitofpate,flungittothedog,andhandedtheemptypottome。

  \"Don’tbesoallegorical,\"Iimplored。\"Besides,it’sreallynotjusttoArchie。Nodoubtthedogisaniceone,but——\"

  \"Howfoolishyouarethismorning!What’sthediscovery?\"

  \"Anentirelysurprisingone。\"

  \"Oh,butletmehear!It’snothingaboutArchie,isit?\"

  \"No,I’vetoldyouallArchie’ssins。\"

  \"NorMrs。Hilary?IwishitwasMrs。Hilary!\"

  \"Shallwewalkontheterrace?\"Isuggested。

  \"Oh,yes,let’s,\"saidDolly,steppingout,andputtingonabroad—brimmed,low—crownedhat,whichshecaughtupfromachairhardby。\"Itisn’tMrs。Hilary?\"sheadded,sittingdownonagardenseat。

  \"No,\"saidI,leaningonasundialwhichstoodbytheseat。

  \"Well,whatisit?\"

  \"Itissimple,\"saidI,\"andserious。Itisnot,therefore,likeyou,LadyMickleham。\"

  \"It’slikeMrs。Hilary,\"saidDolly。

  \"No;becauseitisn’tpleasant。Bytheway,youarejealousofMrs。Hilary?\"

  Dollysaidnothingatall。Shetookoffherhat,roughenedherhairalittle,andassumedaneffectivepose。Still,itisafact(forwhatitisworth)thatshedoesn’tcaremuchaboutMrs。Hilary。

  \"Thediscovery,\"Icontinued,\"isthatI’mgrowingmiddle—aged。\"

  \"Youaremiddle—aged,\"saidDolly,spearingherhatwithitslongpin。

  Iwas,verynaturally,nettledatthis。

  \"Sowillyoubesoon,\"Iretorted。

  \"Notsoon,\"saidDolly。

  \"Someday,\"Iinsisted。

  Afterapauseofabouthalfaminute,Dollysaid,\"Isupposeso。\"

  \"Youwillbecome,\"Ipursued,idlydrawingpatternswithmyfingeronthesundial,\"wrinkled,rough,fat——and,perhaps,good。\"

  \"You’reverydisagreeabletoday,\"saidDolly。

  Sheroseandstoodbyme。

  \"Whatdothemottoesmean?\"sheasked。

  Thereweretwo;Iwillnotsaytheycontradictedoneanother,buttheylookedatlifefromdifferentpointsofview。

  \"Pereuntetimputantur,\"Iread。

  \"Well,what’sthat,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Atrite,butoffensive,assertion,\"saidI,lightingacigarette。

  \"Butwhatdoesitmean?\"sheasked,apuckeronherforehead。

  \"Whatdoesitmatter?\"saidI。\"Let’strytheother。\"

  \"Theotherislonger。\"

  \"Andbetter。Horasnonnumeronisiserenas。\"

  \"Andwhat’sthat?\"

  Itranslatedliterally。Dollyclappedherhands,andherfacegleamedwithsmiles。

  \"Ilikethatone,\"shecried。

  \"Stop!\"saidIimperatively。\"You’llsetitmoving!\"

  \"It’sverysensible,\"saidshe。

  \"Morefreelyrendered,itmeans,Iliveonlywhenyou——\"

  \"ByJove!\"remarkedArchie,comingupbehindus,pipeinmouth,\"therewasalotofrainlastnight。I’vejustmeasureditinthegauge。\"

  \"Somepeoplemeasureeverything,\"saidI,withadispleasedair。

  \"Itisadetestablehabit。\"

  \"Archie,whatdoesPereuntetimputanturmean?\"

  \"Eh?Oh,Isee。Well,Isay,Carter!——Oh,well,youknow,I

  supposeitmeansyou’vegottopayforyourfun,doesn’tit?\"

  \"Oh,isthatall?Iwasafraiditwassomethinghorrid。Whydidyoufrightenme,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Ithinkitisratherhorrid,\"saidI。

  \"Why,itisn’teventrue,\"saidDollyscornfully。

  NowwhenIheardthisancientandrespectablelegendthuscavalierlychallenged,Ifelltostudyingitagain,andpresentlyIexclaimed:

  \"Yes,you’reright!Ifitsaidthat,itwouldn’tbetrue;butArchietranslateditwrong。\"

  \"Well,youhaveashot,\"suggestedArchie。

  \"Theoystersareeatenandputdowninthebill,\"saidI。\"Andyouwillobserve,Archie,thatitdoesnotsayinwhosebill。\"

  \"Ah!\"saidDolly。

  \"Well,somebody’sgottopay,\"persistedArchie。

  \"Oh,yes,somebody,\"laughedDolly。

  \"Well,Idon’tknow,\"saidArchie。\"Isupposethechapthathasthefun——\"

  \"It’snotalwaysachap,\"observedDolly。

  \"Well,thentheindividual,\"amendedArchie。\"Isupposehe’dhavetopay。\"

  \"Itdoesn’tsayso,\"Iremarkedmildly。\"Andaccordingtomysmallexperience——\"

  \"I’mquitesureyourmeaningisright,Mr。Carter,\"saidDollyinanauthoritativetone。

  \"Asfortheothermotto,Archie,\"saidI,\"itmerelymeansthatawomanconsidersallhourswastedwhichshedoesnotspendinthesocietyofherhusband。\"

  \"Oh,come,youdon’tgammonme,\"saidArchie。\"Itmeansthatthesundon’tshineunlessit’sfine,youknow。\"

  Archiedeliveredthisremarkablediscoveryinatoneofgreatselfsatisfaction。

  \"Oh,youdearoldthing!\"saidDolly。

  \"Well,itdoesyouknow,\"saidhe。

  Therewasapause。Archiekissedhiswife(Iamnotcomplaining;

  hehas,ofcourse,aperfectrighttokisshiswife)andstrolledawaytowardthehothouses。

  Ilitanothercigarette。ThenDolly,pointingtothestemofthedial,cried:

  \"Why,here’sanotherinscription——oh,andinEnglish?\"

  Shewasright。Therewasanother——carelesslyscratchedontheoldbatteredcolumn——nearlyeffaced,forthecharactershadbeenbutlightlymarked——andyetnot,asIconceivedfromthetenorofthewords,veryold。

  \"Whatisit?\"askedDolly,peeringovermyshoulder,asIbentdowntoreadtheletters,andshadinghereyeswithherhand。

  (Whydidn’tsheputonherhat?WetouchtheIncomprehensible。)

  \"Itis,\"saidI,\"asingularlypoor,shallow,feeble,andundesirablelittleverse。\"

  \"Readitout,\"saidDolly。

  SoIreadit。Thesillyfellowhadwritten:

  LifeisLove,thepoetstellus,Inthelittlebookstheysellus;Butpray,ma’am——what’sofLifetheUse,IfLifebeLove?

  ForLove’stheDeuce。

  Dollybegantolaughgently,diggingthepinagainintoherhat。

  \"Iwonder,\"shesaid,\"whethertheyusedtocomeandsitbythisolddialjustaswedidthismorning!\"

  \"Ishouldn’tbeatallsurprised,\"saidI。\"Andanotherpointoccurstome,LadyMickleham。\"

  \"Oh,doesit?What’sthat,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Doyouthinkthatanybodymeasuredtheraingauge!\"

  Dollylookedatmeverygravely。

  \"I’msosorrywhenyoudothat,\"saidshepathetically。

  Ismiled。

  \"Ireallyam,\"saiddolly。\"Butyoudon’tmeanit,doyou?\"

  \"Certainlynot,\"saidI。

  Dollysmiled。

  \"Nomorethanhedid!\"saidI,pointingtothesundial。

  Andthenwebothsmiled。

  \"Willthishourcount,Mr。Carter?\"askedDolly,assheturnedaway。

  \"Thatwouldberatherstrict,\"saidI。

  AREMINISCENCE

  \"Iknowexactlywhatyourmotherwants,Phyllis,\"observedMrs。

  Hilary。

  \"It’sjusttoteachthemtheordinarythings,\"saidlittleMissPhyllis。

  \"Whataretheordinarythings?\"Iventuredtoask。

  \"Whatallgirlsaretaught,ofcourse,Mr。Carter,\"saidMrs。

  Hilary。\"I’llwriteaboutitatonce。\"AndshelookedatmeasifshethoughtthatImightbeabouttogo。

  \"Itisacomprehensivecurriculum,\"Iremarked,crossingmylegs,\"ifonemayjudgefromtheresults。Howoldareyouryoungersisters,MissPhyllis?\"

  \"Fourteenandsixteen,\"sheanswered。

  \"Itisapity,\"saidI,\"thatthisdidn’thappenalittlewhileback。Iknewagovernesswhowouldhavesuitedtheplacetoat。’\"

  Mrs。Hilarysmiledscornfully。

  \"Weusedtomeet——\"Icontinued。

  \"Whousedtomeet?\"askedMissPhyllis。

  \"Thegovernessandmyself,tobesure,\"saidI,\"undertheoldappletreeinthegardenatthebackofthehouse。\"

  \"Whathouse,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Myfather’shouse,ofcourse,MissPhyllis。And——\"

  \"Oh,butthatmustbeagesago!\"criedshe。

  Mrs。Hilaryrose,castoneglanceatme,andturnedtothewritingtable。Herpenbegantoscratchalmostimmediately。

  \"Andundertheappletree,\"Ipursued,\"wehadmanypleasantconversations。\"

  \"Whatabout?\"askedMissPhyllis。

  \"Onethingandanother,\"Ireturned。\"Theschoolroomwindowslookedoutthatway——acircumstancewhichmademattersmorecomfortableforeverybody。\"

  \"Ishouldhavethought——\"beganMissPhyllis,smilingslightly,butkeepinganapprehensiveeyeonMrs。Hilary’sback。

  \"Notatall,\"Iinterrupted。\"Mysisterssawus,yousee。Well,ofcoursetheyentertainedanincreasedrespectforme,whichwasallright,andadecreasedrespectforthegoverness,whichwasalsoallright。WemetinthehourallottedtoFrenchlessons——byanundesignedbutappropriatecoincidence。\"

  \"Ishallsayaboutthirty—five,Phyllis,\"calledMrs。Hilaryfromthewritingtable。

  \"Yes,CousinMary,\"calledMissPhyllis。\"Didyoumeetoften,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"EveryeveningintheFrenchhour,\"saidI。

  \"She’llhavegotoveranynonsensebythen,\"calledMrs。Hilary。

  \"Theyareoftenfullofit。\"

  \"Shehadremarkablyprettyhair,\"Icontinued;\"verysoftitwas。

  Dearme!Iwasjusttwenty。\"

  \"Howoldwasshe?\"askedMissPhyllis。

  \"One’sfirstlove,\"saidI,\"isneveranyage。Everythingwentverywell。Happinesswasimpossible。Iwasheartbroken,andthegovernesswasfarfromhappy。Ah,happy,happytimes!\"

  \"Butyoudon’tseemtohavebeenhappy,\"objectedMissPhyllis。

  \"Thencameaterribleevening——\"

  \"Sheoughttobeapersonofactivehabits,\"calledMrs。Hilary。

  \"Ithinkso,yes,CousinMary;oh,whathappened,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Andanearlyriser,\"addedMrs。Hilary。

  \"Yes,CousinMary。Whatdidhappen,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"MymothercameinduringtheFrenchhour。Idon’tknowwhetheryouhaveobserved,MissPhyllis,howeasyitistoslipintothehabitofenteringroomswhenyouhadbetterremainoutside。Now,evenmyfriendArch——However,that’sneitherherenorthere。Mymother,asIsay,camein。\"

  \"ChurchofEngland,ofcourse,Phyllis?\"calledMrs。Hilary。

  \"Oh,ofcourse,cousinMary,\"criedlittleMissPhyllis。

  \"Thesectmakesnodifference,\"Iobserved。\"Well,mysisters,likegoodgirls,begantorepeattheirregularverbs。Butitwasnouse。Wewerediscovered。Thatnight,MissPhyllis,Inearlydrownedmyself。\"

  \"Youmusthavebeen——Oh,howawful,Mr。Carter!\"

  \"Thatistosay,IthoughthoweffectiveitwouldbeifIdrownedmyself。Ah,well,itcouldn’tlast!\"

  \"Andthegoverness?\"

  \"Sheleftnextmorning。\"

  Therewasapause。MissPhyllislookedsadandthoughtful;I

  smiledpensivelyandbeatmycaneagainstmyleg。

  \"Haveyoueverseenhersince?\"askedMissPhyllis。

  \"No。\"

  \"Shouldn’t——shouldn’tyouliketo,Mr。Carter?\"

  \"Heavenforbid!\"saidI。

  SuddenlyMrs。Hilarypushedbackherchair,andturnedroundtous。

  \"Well,Ideclare,\"saidshe,\"Imustbegrowingstupid。HerehaveIbeenwritingtotheAgency,whenIknowoftheverythingmyself!ThePolwheedles’governessisjustleavingthem;she’sbeenthereoverfifteenyears。LadyPolwheedletoldmeshewasatreasure。Iwonderifshe’dgo!\"

  \"Isshewhatmammawants?\"

  \"Mydear,you’llbemostluckytogether。I’llwriteatonceandaskhertocometolunchtomorrow。Imetherthere。She’sanadmirableperson。\"

  Mrs。Hilarywheeledroundagain。IshookmyheadatMissPhyllis。

  \"Poorchildren!\"saidI。\"Manageabitoffunforthemsometimes。\"

  MissPhyllisassumedastaidandvirtuousair。

  \"Theymustbeproperlybroughtup,Mr。Carter,\"saidshe。

  \"IsthereaHouseOpposite?\"Iasked;andMissPhyllisblushed。

  Mrs。Hilaryadvanced,holdingoutaletter。

  \"Youmayaswellpostthisforme,\"saidshe。\"Oh,andwouldyouliketocometolunchtomorrow?\"

  \"TomeettheParagon?\"

  \"No。She’llbethere,ofcourse;butyouseeit’sSaturday,andHilarywillbehere;andIthoughtyoumighttakehimoffsomewhereandleavePhyllisandmetohaveaquiettalkwithher。\"

  \"Thatwon’tamusehermuch,\"Iventuredtoremark。

  \"She’snotcomingtobeamused,\"saidMrs。Hilaryseverely。

  \"Allright;I’llcome,\"saidI,takingmyhat。

  \"Here’sthenoteforMissBannerman,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  Thatsortofthingneversurprisesme。Ilookedattheletterandread\"MissM。E。Bannerman。\"\"M。E。\"stoodfor\"MaudElizabeth。\"Iputmyhatbackonthetable。

  \"WhatsortofalookingpersonisthisMissBannerman?\"Iasked。

  \"Oh,aspare,uprightwoman——hairalittlegray,and——Idon’tknowhowtodescribeit——herfacelooksalittleweather—beaten。

  Shewearsglasses。\"

  \"Thankyou,\"saidI。\"AndwhatsortofalookingpersonamI?\"

  Mrs。Hilarylookedscornful。MissPhyllisopenedhereyes。

  \"HowolddoIlook,MissPhyllis?\"Iasked。

  \"Idon’tknow,\"shesaiduncomfortably。

  \"Guess,\"saidIsternly。

  \"F—forty—three——oh,orforty—two?\"sheasked,withatimidupwardglance。

  \"Whenyou’vedoneyournonsense——\"beganMrs。Hilary;butIlaidahandonherarm。

  \"Shouldyoucallmefat?\"Iasked。

  \"Oh,no;notfat,\"saidMrs。Hilary,withasmile,whichshestrovetorenderreassuring。

  \"Iamundoubtedlybald,\"Iobserved。

  \"You’recertainlybald,\"saidMrs。Hilary,withregretfulcandor。

  Itookmyhatandremarked:\"Amanhasarighttothinkofhimself,butIamnotthinkingmainlyofmyself。Ishallnotcometolunch。\"

  \"Yousaidyouwould,\"criedMrs。Hilaryindignantly。

  Ipoisedtheletterinmyhand,readingagain\"MissM(aud)

  E(lizabeth)Bannerman。\"MissPhyllislookedatmecuriously,Mrs。Hilaryimpatiently。

  \"Whoknows,\"saidI,\"thatImaynotbeaRomance——aVanishedDream——aGreenMemory——anOasis?ApersonwhohasthefortunetobeanOasis,MissPhyllis,shouldbeverycareful。Iwillnotcometolunch。\"

  \"DoyoumeanthatyouusedtoknowMissBannerman?\"askedMrs。

  Hilaryinherpleasantprosaicway。

  Itwasasinseventeenyearsold;itwouldhardlycountagainsttheblamelessMissBannermannow。\"YoumaytellherwhenI’mgone,\"saidItoMissPhyllis。

  MissPhylliswhisperedinMrs。Hilary’sear。

  \"Another?\"criedMrs。Hilary,aghast。

  \"Itwastheveryfirst,\"saidI,defendingmyself。

  Mrs。Hilarybegantolaugh。Ismoothedmyhat。

  \"Tellher,\"saidI,\"thatIrememberedherverywell。\"

  \"Ishalldonosuchthing,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  \"Andtellher,\"Icontinued,\"thatIamstillhandsome。\"

  \"Ishan’tsayawordaboutyou,\"saidMrs。Hilary。

  \"Ah,well,thatwillbebetterstill,\"saidI。

  \"She’llhaveforgottenyourveryname,\"remarkedMrs。Hilary。

  Iopenedthedoor,butathoughtstruckme。Iturnedroundandobserved:

  \"Idaresayherhair’sjustassoftasever。Still——I’lllunchsomeotherday。\"

  AVERYFINEDAY

  \"Iseenothingwhatevertolaughat,\"saidMrs。Hilarycoldly,whenIhadfinished。

  \"Ididnotaskyoutolaugh,\"Iobservedmildly。\"Imentioneditmerelyasatypicalcase。\"

  \"It’snottypical,\"shesaid,andtookupherembroidery。Butamomentlatersheadded:

  \"Poorboy!I’mnotsurprised。\"

  \"I’mnotsurprisedeither,\"Iremarked。\"Itis,however,extremelydeplorable。\"

  \"It’syourownfault。Whydidyouintroducehim?\"

  \"Abook,\"Iobserved,\"mightbewrittenontheInjusticeoftheJust。HowcouldIsupposethathewould——?\"

  Bytheway,Imightaswellstatewhathe——thatis,myyoungcousinGeorge——haddone。Unlessoneisagenius,itisbesttoaimatbeingintelligible。

  Well,hewasinlove;andwithaviewofprovidinghimwithanotherhouseatwhichhemightbelikelytomeettheadoredobject,IpresentedhimtomyfriendLadyMickleham。ThatwasonaTuesday。Afortnightlater,asIwassittinginHydePark(asIsometimesdo),Georgecameupandtookthechairnexttome。I

  gavehimacigarette,butmadenoremark。Georgebeathiscanerestlesslyagainstthelegofhistrousers。

  \"I’vegottogouptomorrow,\"heremarked。

  \"Ah,well,Oxfordisadelightfultown,\"saidI。

  \"D————dhole,\"observedGeorge。

  Iwasabouttocontestthisopinionwhenavictoriadroveby。

  Agirlsatinit,sidebysidewithaportlylady。

  \"George,George!\"Icried。\"Theresheis——Look!\"

  Georgelooked,raisedhishatwithsufficientpoliteness,andremarkedtome:

  \"Hangit,oneseesthosepeopleeverywhere。\"

  Iamnoteasilysurprised,butIconfessIturnedtoGeorgewithanexpressionofwonder。

  \"Afortnightago——\"Ibegan。

  \"Don’tbeanass,Sam,\"saidGeorge,rathersharply。\"She’snotabadgirl,but——\"Hebrokeoffandbegantowhistle。Therewasalongpause。Ilitacigar,andlookedatthepeople。

  \"IlunchedattheMicklehams’today,\"saidGeorge,drawingafigureonthegravelwithhiscane。\"Mickleham’snotabadfellow。\"

  \"Oneofthebestfellowsalive,\"Iagreed。

  \"Iwonderwhyshemarriedhim,though,\"musedGeorge;andheadded,withapparentirrelevance,\"It’sadashedbore,goingup。\"

  Andthenasmilespreadoverhisface;ablushaccompaniedit,andproclaimedGeorge’ssenseofdeliciouswickedness。Iturnedonhim。

  \"Outwithit!\"Isaid。

  \"It’snothing。Don’tbeafool,\"saidGeorge。

  \"Wheredidyougetthatrose?\"Iasked。

  \"Thisrose?\"herepeated,fondlingtheblossom。\"Itwasgiventome。\"

  UponthisIgroaned——andIstillconsiderthatIhadgoodreasonformyaction。Itwasthegroanofamoralist。

  \"They’veaskedmetostayatTheTowersnextvac。,\"saidGeorge,glancingatmeoutofthecornerofanimmoraleye。Perhapshethoughtittooimmoral,forheadded,\"It’sallright,Sam。\"I

  believethatIhaveasmuchselfcontrolasmostpeople,butatthispointIchuckled。

  \"Whatthedeuceareyoulaughingat?\"askedGeorge。

  Imadenoanswer,andhewenton——

  \"Younevertoldmewhata——whatshewaslike,Sam。Wantedtokeepittoyourself,youolddog。\"

  \"George——George——George!\"saidI。\"Yougouptomorrow?\"

  \"Yes,confoundit!\"

  \"Andtermlaststwomonths?\"

  \"Yes,hangit!\"

  \"Alliswell,\"saidI,crossingmylegs。\"ThereismorevirtueintwomonthsthaninTenCommandments。\"

  Georgeregardedmewithadispassionateair。

  \"You’reanawfulasssometimes,\"heobservedcritically,andherosefromhisseat。

  \"Mustyougo?\"saidI。

  \"Yes——gotalotofthingstodo。Lookhere,Sam,don’tgoandtalkabout——\"

  \"Talkaboutwhat?\"

  \"Anything,youoldidiot,\"saidGeorge,withapleasedsmile,andhedugmeintheribswithhiscane,anddeparted。

  Isaton,admiringthesimpleelementswhichconstitutethehappinessoftheyoung。Alas!Withadvancingyears,Wrongloseshalfitsflavor!Tobeimproperceases,byitself,tosatisfy。

  Immersedinthesereflections,Ifailedtonoticethatabarouchehadstoppedoppositetome;andsuddenlyIfoundafootmanaddressingme。

  \"Begyourpardon,sir,\"hesaid。\"Herladyshipwishestospeaktoyou。\"

  \"Itisablessedthingtobeyoung,Martin,\"Iobserved。

  \"Yes,sir,\"saidMartin。\"It’safineday,sir。\"

  \"Butveryshort,\"saidI。Martinisrespectful,andsaidnothing——tome,atleast。Whathesaidtothecoachman,Idon’tknow。

  AndthenIwentuptoDolly。

  \"Getinanddriveround,\"suggestedDolly。

  \"Ican’t,\"saidI。\"Ihaveabadnose。\"

  \"What’sthematterwithyournose?\"askedDolly,smiling。

  \"Thejointisinjured,\"saidI,gettingintothebarouche。AndI

  addedseverely,\"IsupposeI’dbettersitwithmybacktothehorses?\"

  \"Oh,no,you’renotmyhusband,\"saidDolly。\"Sithere;\"andshemaderoombyher,asshecontinued,\"IratherlikeMr。George。\"

  \"I’mashamedofyou,\"Iobserved。\"Consideringyourage——\"

  \"Mr。Carter!\"

  \"Considering,Isay,hisage,yourconductisscandalous。I

  shallneverintroduceanyniceboystoyouagain。\"

  \"Oh,pleasedo,\"saidDolly,claspingherhands。

  \"Yougivethemroses,\"saidI,accusingly。\"Youmakethemfalsetotheirearliestloves——\"

  \"Shewasapudding—facedthing,\"observedDolly。

  Ifrowned。Dolly,byanaccident,allowedthetipofherfingertotouchmyarmforaninstant。

  \"He’saniceboy,\"saidshe。\"Howlikeheistoyou,Mr。Carter!\"

  \"Iamalongwaypastthat,\"saidI。\"Iamthirty—six。\"

  \"Ifyoumeantobedisagreeable!\"saidsheturningaway。\"Ibegyourpardonfortouchingyou,Mr。Carter。\"

  \"Ididnotnoticeit,LadyMickleham。\"

  \"Wouldyouliketogetout?\"

  \"It’smilesfrommyclub,\"saidIdiscontentedly。

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