Mrs。Hilaryrosetoherfeet。\"Whowasthecreature?\"sheaskedsharply。
\"Come,\"Iexpostulated,\"howwouldyoulikeitifyouryoungmanhadtakentotheftand——\"
\"Oh,nonsense。Tellmehername,please,Mr。Carter。\"
\"JohnnytoldHilarythatjusttoseeherandtalktoherandsitbyhersidewas’worthallthemoney’——butthen,tobesure,itwassomebodyelse’smoney——andthathe’ddoitagaintogetwhathehadgotoveragain。Then,I’msorrytosay,heswore。\"
\"AndHilarybelievedthatstuff?\"
\"Hilaryagreedwithhim,\"saidI。\"Hilary,yousee,knowsthelady。\"
\"What’shername,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Didn’tyounoticehisattentionstoanyone?\"
\"Inotice!Youdon’tmeanthatI’veseenher?\"
\"Certainlyyouhave。\"
\"Wassheeverhere?’
\"Yes,Mrs。Hilary。Hilarytakescareofthat。\"
\"Ishallbeangryinaminute,Mr。Carter。Oh,I’llhavethisoutofHilary!\"
\"Ishould。\"
\"Whowasshe?\"
\"AccordingtowhathetoldHilary,shewasthemostfascinatingwomanintheworld,Hilarythoughtso,too。\"
Mrs。Hilarybegantowalkupanddown。
\"Oh,soHilaryhelpedtolethimgo,becausetheyboth——?\"
\"Precisely,\"saidI。
\"Andyoudaretocomeandtellme?\"
\"Well,Ithoughtyououghttoknow,\"saidI。\"Hilary’sjustasmadaboutherasJohnny——infact,hesaidhe’dbehangedifhewouldn’thavedonethesamehimself。\"
IhaveonceseenMadameRistoriplayLadyMacbeth。HerperformancewasrecalledtomebythetonesinwhichMrs。Hilaryasked:
\"Whoisthiswoman,ifyouplease,Mr。Carter?\"
\"SoHilarygothimoff——gavehimfiftypoundstoo。\"
\"Gladtogethimaway,perhaps,\"sheburstout,inangryscorn。
\"Whoknows?\"saidI。\"Perhaps。\"
\"Hername?\"demandedLadyMacbeth——ImeanMrs。Hilary——again。
\"Ishan’ttellyou,unlessyoupromisetosaynothingtoHilary。\"
\"Tosaynothing!Well,really——\"
\"Oh,allright!\"andItookupmyhat。
\"ButIcanwatchthem,can’tI?\"
\"Asmuchasyoulike。\"
\"Won’tyoutellme?\"
\"Ifyoupromise。\"
\"Well,then,Ipromise。\"
\"Lookintheglass。\"
\"Whatfor?\"
\"Toseeyourface,tobesure。\"
Shestarted,blushedred,andmovedasteptowardsme。
\"Youdon’tmean——?\"shecried。
\"Thouartthewoman,\"saidI。
\"Oh,butheneversaidaword——\"
\"Johnnyhadhiscode,\"saidI。\"Andinsomewaysitwasbetterthansomepeople’s——insome,alas!worse。\"
\"AndHilary?\"
\"ReallyyouknowbetterthanIdowhetherI’vetoldthetruthaboutHilary。\"
Apauseensued。ThenMrs。Hilarymadethreeshortremarks,whichIgiveintheirorder:
(1)\"Thelittlewretch!\"(2)\"DearoldHilary!\"(3)\"Poorlittleman!\"
Itookmyhat。IknewthatHilarywasduefromthecityinafewminutes。Mrs。Hilarysatdownbythefire。
\"Howdareyoutormentmeso?\"sheasked,butnotintheleastlikeLadyMacbeth。
\"Imusthavemylittleamusements,\"saidI。
\"Whatanaudaciouslittlecreature!\"saidMrs。Hilary。\"Fancyhisdaring!——Aren’tyouastounded?\"
\"Oh,yes,Iam。ButHilary,yousee——\"
\"It’snearlyhistime,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
Ibuttonedmyleftgloveandheldoutmyrighthand。
\"I’veagoodmindnottoshakehandswithyou,\"saidshe。
\"Wasn’titabsurdofHilary?\"
\"Horribly。\"
\"Heoughttohavebeenallthemoreangry。\"
\"Ofcourseheought。\"
\"Thepresumptionofit!\"AndMrs。Hilarysmiled。Ialsosmiled。
\"Thatpooroldmotherofhis,\"reflectedMrs。Hilary。\"Wheredidyousayshelived?\"
\"Hilaryknowstheaddress,\"saidI。
\"Sillylittlewretch!\"musedMrs。Hilary,stillsmiling。
\"Goodbye,\"saidI。
\"Goodbye,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
Iturnedtowardthedoorandhadlaidmyhandontheknob,whenMrs。Hilarycalledsoftly:
\"Mr。Carter。\"
\"Yes,\"saidI,turning。
\"Doyouknowwherethelittlewretchhasgone?\"
\"Oh,yes,\"saidI。
\"I——Isupposeyoudon’teverwritetohim?\"
\"Dearme,no,\"saidI。
\"Butyou——could?\"suggestedMrs。Hilary。
\"Ofcourse,\"saidI。
Shejumpedupandrantowardsme。Herpursewasinonehand,andabitofpaperflutteredintheother。
\"Sendhimthat——don’ttellhim,\"shewhispered,andhervoicehadalittlecatchinit。\"Poorlittlewretch!\"saidshe。
Asforme,Ismiledcynically——quitecynically,youknow;foritwasveryabsurd。
\"Pleasedo,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
AndIwent。
Supposingithadbeenanotherwoman?Well,Iwonder!
ANEXPENSIVEPRIVILEGE
Aratheruncomfortablethinghappenedtheotherdaywhichthreatenedaschisminmyacquaintanceandputmeinadecidedlyawkwardposition。Itwasnootherthanthis:Mrs。HilaryMusgravehaddefinitelyinformedmethatshedidnotapproveofLadyMickleham。Theattitudeis,nodoubt,aconceivableone,butIwassurprisedthatawomanofMrs。Hilary’slargesympathiesshouldadoptit。Besides,Mrs。Hilaryisquitegood—lookingherself。
Thehistoryoftheaffairismuchasfollows:IcalledonMrs。
HilarytoseewhetherIcoulddoanything,andshetoldmeallaboutit。ItappearsthatMrs。Hilaryhadabadcoldandacousinupfromthecountryaboutthesametime(shewasjustlyaggrievedatthedoubleevent),andbeingunabletogototheDuchessofDexminster’s\"squash,\"sheaskedDollyMicklehamtochaperonlittleMissPhyllis。LittleMissPhyllis,ofcourse,knewnoonethere——theDuchessleastofall——(butthenveryfewofus——yes,Iwasthere——knewtheDuchess,andtheDuchessdidn’tknowanyofus;Isawhershakehandswithawaitermyself,justtobeonthesafeside),andanhourafterthepartybeganshewasdiscoveredwanderingaboutinamostdesolatecondition。
Dollyhadtoldherthatshewouldbeinacertainplace;andwhenMissPhylliscame,Dollywasnotthere。Thepoorlittleladywanderedaboutforanotherhour,lookingsolostthatonewasinclinedtosendforapoliceman;andthenshesatdownonaseatbythewall,and,indesperation,askedhernext—doorneighborifheknewLadyMicklehambysight,andhadheseenherlately?Thenext—doorneighbor,bywayofreply,calledouttoaquietelderlygentlemanwhowassidlingunobtrusivelyabout,\"Duke,arethereanyparticularlysnugcornersinyourhouse?\"TheDukestopped,searchedhismemory,andsaidthatattheendoftheRedCorridortherewasapassage,andthatafewyardsdownthepassage,ifyouturnedverysuddenlytotheright,youwouldcomeonalittlenookunderthestairs。Thelittlenookjustheldasettee,andthesettee(theDukethought)mightjustholdtwopeople。Thenext—doorneighborthankedtheDuke,andobservedtoMissPhyllis——
\"ItwillgivemegreatpleasuretotakeyoutoLadyMickleham。\"
Sotheywent,itbeingthen,accordingtoMissPhyllis’swornstatementpreciselytwohoursandfiveminutessinceDollyhaddisappeared;and,pursuingtherouteindicatedbytheDuke,theyfoundLadyMickleham。AndLadyMicklehamexclaimed,\"Goodgracious,mydear,I’dquiteforgottenyou!Haveyouhadanice?
Dotakehertohaveanice,SirJohn。\"(SirJohnBerrywasthenext—doorneighbor。)AndwiththatLadyMicklehamissaidtohaveresumedherconversation。
\"Didyoueverhearanythingmoreatrocious?\"concludedMrs。
Hilary。\"IreallycannotthinkwhatLordMicklehamisdoing。\"
\"Yousurelymean,whatLadyMickleham——?\"
\"No,Idon’t,\"saidMrs。Hilary,withextraordinarydecision。
\"Anythingmighthavehappenedtothatpoorchild!\"
\"Oh,therewerenotmanyofthearistocracypresent,\"saidI
soothingly。
\"Butit’snotthatsomuchasthethingitself。She’sthemostdisgracefulflirtinLondon。\"
\"Howdoyouknowshewasflirting?\"Iinquiredwithasmile。
\"HowdoIknow?\"echoedMrs。Hilary。
\"Itisaveryhastyconclusion,\"Ipersisted。\"SometimesIstaytalkingwithyouforanhourormore。Areyou,therefore,flirtingwithme?\"
\"Withyou!\"exclaimedMrs。Hilary,withalittlelaugh。
\"Absurdasthesuppositionis,\"Iremarked,\"ityetservestopointtheargument。LadyMicklehammighthavebeentalkingwithafriend,justinthequietrationalwayinwhichwearetalkingnow。\"
\"Idon’tthinkthat’slikely,\"saidMrs。Hilary;and——well,Idonotliketosaythatshesniffed——itwouldconveytoostronganidea,butshedidmakeanoddlittlesoundsomethinglikeamuchetherealizedsniff。
Ismiledagain,andmorebroadly。IwasenjoyingbeforehandthelittlevictorywhichIwastoenjoyoverMrs。Hilary。\"Yetithappenstobetrue,\"saidI。
Mrs。Hilarywasmagnificentlycontemptuous。
\"LordMicklehamtoldyouso,Isuppose?\"sheasked。\"AndI
supposeLadyMicklehamtoldhim——poorman!\"
\"Whydoyoucallhim’poorman’?\"
\"Oh,nevermind。Didhetellyou?\"
\"Certainlynot。Thefactis,Mrs。Hilary——andreally,youmustexcusemeforhavingkeptyouinthedarkalittle——itamusedmesomuchtohearyoursuspicions。\"
Mrs。Hilaryrosetoherfeet。
\"Well,whatareyougoingtosay?\"sheasked。
Ilaughed,asIanswered:\"Why,IwasthemanwithLadyMicklehamwhenyourfriendandBerryinter——whentheyarrived,youknow。\"
Well,Ishouldhavethought——Ishouldstillthink——thatshewouldhavebeenpleased——relieved,youknow,tofindheruncharitableopinionerroneous,andpleasedtohaveitalteredonthebestauthority。I’msurethatishowIshouldhavefelt。Itwasnot,however,howMrs。Hilaryfelt。
\"Iamdeeplypained,\"sheobservedafteralongpause;andthensheheldoutherhand。
\"Iwassureyou’dforgivemylittledeception,\"saidI,graspingit。Ithoughtstillthatshemeanttoburyallunkindness。
\"Ishouldneverhavethoughtitofyou,\"shewenton。
\"Ididn’tknowyourfriendwasthereatall,\"Ipleaded;forbynowIwasalarmed。
\"Oh,pleasedon’tshufflelikethat,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
Shecontinuedtostand,andIrosetomyfeet。Mrs。Hilaryheldoutherhandagain。
\"DoyoumeanthatI’mtogo?\"saidI。
\"Ihopeweshallseeyouagainsomeday,\"saidMrs。Hilary;thetonesuggestedthatshewaslookingforwardtosomefutureexistence,whenmyearthlysinsshouldhavebeensufficientlypurged。ItremindedmeforthemomentofKingArthurandQueenGuinevere。
\"ButIprotest,\"Ibegan,\"thatmyonlyobjectintellingyouwastoshowyouhowabsurd——\"
\"Isitanygoodtalkingaboutitnow?\"askedMrs。Hilary。A
discussionmightpossiblybefruitfulinthedimfuturitybeforementioned——butnotnow——thatwaswhatsheseemedtosay。
\"LadyMicklehamandI,ontheoccasioninquestion——\"Ibeganwithdignity。
\"Pray,spareme,\"quoteMrs。Hilary,withmuchgreaterdignity。
Itookmyhat。
\"ShallyoubeathomeasusualonThursday?\"Iasked。
\"Ihaveagreatmanypeoplecomingalready,\"sheremarked。
\"Icantakeahint,\"saidI。
\"Iwishyou’dtakewarning,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
\"Iwilltakemyleave,\"saidI——andIdid,leavingMrs。Hilaryinatragicattitudeinthemiddleoftheroom。NeveragainshallIgooutofmywaytolullMrs。Hilary’ssuspicions。
Adayortwoafterthisverytryinginterview,LadyMickleham’svictoriahappenedtostopoppositewhereIwasseatedinthepark。Iwenttopaymyrespects。
\"Doyoumeantoleavemenothingintheworld,\"Iasked,justbywayofintroducingthesubjectofMrs。Hilary。\"Oneofmybestfriendshasturnedmeoutofherhouseonyouraccount。\"
\"Oh,dotellme,\"saidDolly,dimplingalloverherface。
SoItoldher;ImadethestoryaslongasIcouldforreasonsconnectedwiththedimples。
\"Whatfun!\"exclaimedDolly。\"Itoldyouatthetimethatayoungunmarriedpersonlikeyououghttobemorecareful。\"
\"Iamjustdebating,\"Iobserved,\"whethertosacrificeyou。\"
\"Tosacrificeme,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Ofcourse,\"Iexplained;\"ifIdroppedyou,Mrs。Hilarywouldletmecomeagain。\"
\"Howcharmingthatwouldbe!\"criedDolly。\"Youwouldenjoyherniceseriousconversation——allaboutHilary!\"
\"Sheisapt,Iconceded,\"totouchonHilary。Butsheisverypicturesque。\"
\"Oh,yes,she’shandsome,\"saidDolly。
Therewasapause。ThenDollysaid,\"Well?\"
\"Well?\"saidIinreturn。
\"Itisgoodbye?\"askedDolly,drawingdownthecornersofhermouth。
\"Itcomestothis,\"Iremarked。\"SupposingIforgiveyou——\"
\"Asifitwasmyfault?\"
\"AndriskMrs。Hilary’swrath——didyouspeak?\"
\"No;Ilaughed,Mr。Carter。\"
\"WhatshallIgetoutofit?\"
Thesunwasshiningbrightly;itshoneonDolly;shehadraisedherparasol,butsheblinkedalittlebeneathit。Shewassmilingslightlystill,andthedimplestucktoitspost——likeasentinel,readytorousetherestfromtheirbriefrepose。Dollylaybackinthevictoria,nestlingluxuriouslyagainstthesoftcushions。Sheturnedhereyesforamomentonme。
\"Whyareyoulookingatme?\"sheasked。
\"Because,\"saidI,\"thereisnothingbettertolookat。\"
\"Doyoulikedoingit?\"askedDolly。
\"Itisaprivilege,\"saidIpolitely。
\"Well,then!\"saidDolly。
\"But,\"Iventuredtoobserve,\"it’sratheranexpensiveone。\"
\"Thenyoumustn’thaveitveryoften。\"
\"Anditissharedbysomanypeople。\"
\"Then,\"saidDolly,smilingindulgently,\"youmusthaveit——alittleoftener。Home,Roberts,please。\"
IamnotyetallowedatMrs。HilaryMusgrave’s。
AVERYDULLAFFAIR
\"Tohearyoutalk,\"remarkedMrs。HilaryMusgrave——and,ifanyoneissurprisedtofindmeatherhouse,IcanonlysaythatHilary,whenheaskedmetotakeapot—luck,wasquiteignorantofanygroundofdifferencebetweenhiswifeandmyself,andthatMrs。Hilarycouldnotverywellejectmeonmyarrivalineveningdressattenminutestoeight——\"tohearyoutalkonewouldthinkthattherewasnosuchthingasreallove。\"
Shepaused。Ismiled。
\"Now,\"shecontinued,turningafine,butscornfuleyeuponme,\"Ihavenevercaredforanymanintheworldexceptmyhusband。\"
Ismiledagain。PoorHilarylookedveryuncomfortable。WithanapologeticairhebegantostammersomethingaboutParishCouncils。Iwasnottobedivertedbyanysuchmaneuver。Itwasimpossiblethathecouldreallywishtotalkonthatsubject。
\"Wouldapersonwhohadnevereatenanythingbutbeefmakeaboastofit?\"Iasked。
Hilarygrinnedcovertly。Mrs。Hilarypulledthelampnearer,andtookupherembroidery。
\"Doyoualwaysworkthesamepattern?\"saidI。
Hilarykickedmegently。Mrs。Hilarymadenodirectreply,butpresentlyshebegantotalk。
\"IwasjustaboutPhyllis’sage——(bytheway,littleMissPhylliswasthere)——whenIfirstsawHilary。Youremember,Hilary?AtBournemouth?\"
\"Oh——er——wasitBournemouth?\"saidHilary,withmuchcarelessness。
\"Iwasonthepier,\"pursuedMrs。Hilary。\"Ihadaredfrockon,Iremember,andoneofthosebighatstheyworethatyear。
Hilarywore——\"
\"Blueserge,\"Iinterpolated,encouragingly。
\"Yes,blueserge,\"saidshefondly。\"Hehadbeenyachting,andhewasbeautifullyburnt。Iwashorriblyburnt——wasn’tI,Hilary?\"
Hilarybegantopatthedog。
\"Thenwegottoknowoneanother。\"
\"Stopaminute,\"saidI。\"Howdidthathappen?\"Mrs。Hilaryblushed。
\"Well,wewerebothalwaysonthepier,\"sheexplained。
\"And——andsomehowHilarygottoknowfather,and——andfatherintroducedhimtome。\"
\"I’mgladitwasnoworse,\"saidI。IwasconsideringMissPhyllis,whosatlistening,open—eyed。
\"Andthenyouknow,fatherwasn’talwaysthere;andonceortwicewemetonthecliff。Doyourememberthatmorning,Hilary?\"
\"Whatmorning?\"askedHilary,pattingthedogwithimmenseassiduity。
\"Why,themorningIhadmywhitesergeon。I’dbeenbathing,andmyhairwasdowntodry,andyousaidIlookedlikeamermaid。\"
\"Domermaidswearwhiteserge?\"Iasked;butnobodytooktheleastnoticeofme——quiteproperly。
\"Andyoutoldmesuchalotaboutyourself;andthenwefoundwewerelateforlunch。\"
\"Yes,\"saidHilary,suddenlyforgettingthedog,\"andyourmothergavemeanawfulglance。\"
\"Yes,andthenyoutoldmethatyouwereverypoor,butthatyoucouldn’thelpit;andyousaidyousupposedIcouldn’tpossibly——\"
\"Well,Ididn’tthink——!\"
\"AndIsaidyouwereasillyoldthing;andthen——\"Mrs。Hilarystoppedabruptly。
\"Howlovely,\"remarkedlittleMissPhyllisinawistfulvoice。
\"Anddoyouremember,\"pursuedMrs。Hilary,layingdownherembroideryandclaspingherhandsonherknees,\"themorningyouwenttoseefather?\"
\"Whatarowtherewas!\"saidHilary。
\"Andwhatanawfulweekitwasafterthat!Iwasneversomiserableinallmylife。Icriedtillmyeyeswerequitered,andthenIbathedthemforanhour,andthenIwenttothepier,andyouwerethere——andImightn’tspeaktoyou!\"
\"Iremember,\"saidHilary,noddinggently。
\"Andthen,Hilary,fathersentformeandtoldmeitwasnouse;
andIsaidI’dnevermarryanyoneelse。Andfathersaid,’There,there,don’tcry。We’llseewhatmothersays。’\"
\"Yourmotherwasabrick,\"saidHilary,pokingthefire。
\"Andthatnighttheynevertoldmeanythingaboutit,andI
didn’tevenchangemyfrock,butcamedown,lookinghorrible,justasIwas,inanoldblackrag——no,Hilary,don’tsayitwaspretty!\"
Hilary,unconvinced,shookhishead。
\"AndwhenIwalkedintothedrawingroomtherewasnobodytherebutjustyou;andweneitherofussaidanythingforeversolong。Andthenfatherandmothercameinand——doyourememberafterdinner,Hilary?\"
\"Iremember,\"saidHilary。
Therewasalongpause。Mrs。Hilarywaslookingintothefire;
littleMissPhyllis’seyeswerefixed,inraptgaze,ontheceiling;Hilarywaslookingathiswife——I,thinkingitsafest,wasregardingmyownboots。
AtlastMissPhyllisbrokethesilence。
\"Howperfectlylovely!\"shesaid。
\"Yes,\"saidMrs。Hilary,reflectively。\"Andweweremarriedthreemonthsafterwards。\"
\"TenthofJune,\"saidHilaryreflectively。
\"Andwehadthemostcharminglittleroomsintheworld!Doyourememberthosefirstrooms,dear?Sotiny!\"
\"Notbadlittlerooms,\"saidHilary。
\"Howawfullylovely,\"criedlittleMissPhyllis。
Ifeltthatitwastimetointerfere。
\"Andisthatall?\"Iasked。
\"All?Howdoyoumean?\"saidMrs。Hilary,withaslightstart。
\"Well,Imean,didnothingelsehappen?Weren’tthereanycomplications?Weren’tthereanymoretroubles,oranymoreopposition,oranymisunderstandings,oranything?\"
\"No,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
\"Youneverquarreled,orbrokeitoff?\"
\"No。\"
\"Nobodycamebetweenyou?\"
\"No。Itallwentjustperfectly。Why,ofcourseitdid。\"
\"Hilary’speoplemadethemselvesnasty,perhaps?\"Isuggested,witharayofhope。
\"Theyfellinlovewithheronthespot,\"saidHilary。
ThenIroseandstoodwithmybacktothefire。
\"Idonotknow,\"Iobserved,\"whatMissPhyllisthinksaboutit——\"
\"Ithinkitwasjustperfect,Mr。Carter。\"
\"Butformypart,IcanonlysaythatIneverheardofsuchadullaffairinallmylife。\"
\"Dull!\"gaspedMissPhyllis。
\"Dull!\"murmuredMrs。Hilary。
\"Dull!\"chuckledHilary。
\"Itwas,\"saidIseverely,\"withoutasparkofinterestfrombeginningtoend。Suchthingshappenbythousands。It’scommonplacenessitself。Ihadsomehopeswhenyoufatherassumedafirmattitude,but——\"
\"Motherwassuchadear,\"interruptedMrs。Hilary。
\"Justso。Shegaveawaythewholesituation。ThenIdidtrustthatHilarywouldlosehisplace,ordevelopanoldflame,ordosomethingjustalittleinteresting。\"
\"Itwasaperfecttime,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
\"Iwonderwhyintheworldyoutoldmeaboutit,\"Ipursued。
\"Idon’tknowwhyIdid,\"saidMrs。Hilarydreamily。
\"Theonlypossibleexcuseforanengagementlikethat,\"I
observed,\"istobefoundinintensepost—nuptialunhappiness。\"
Hilaryrose,andadvancedtowardshiswife。
\"Yourembroidery’sfallingonthefloor,\"saidhe。
\"Notabitofit,\"saidI。
\"Yes,itis,\"hepersisted;andhepickeditupandgaveittoher。MissPhyllissmileddelightedly。Hilaryhadsqueezedhiswife’shand。
\"Thenwedon’texcuseit,\"saidhe。
Itookoutmywatch。Iwasnotfindingmuchentertainment。
\"Surelyit’squiteearly,oldman?\"saidHilary。
\"It’snearlyeleven。We’vespenthalf—an—houronthething,\"
saidIpeevishly,holdingoutmyhandtomyhostess。
\"Oh,areyougoing?Goodnight,Mr。Carter。\"
IturnedtoMissPhyllis。
\"Ihopeyouwon’tthinkallloveaffairsarelikethat,\"Isaid;
butIsawherlipsbegintoshapeinto\"lovely,\"andIhastilylefttheroom。
Hilarycametohelpmeonwithmycoat。Helookedextremelyapologetic,andverymuchashamedofhimself。
\"Awfullysorry,oldchap,\"saidhe,\"thatweboredyouwithourreminiscences。Iknow,ofcourse,thattheycan’tbeveryinterestingtootherpeople。Womenaresoconfoundedlyromantic。\"
\"Don’ttrythatonme,\"saidI,muchdisgusted。\"Youwerejustasbadyourself。\"
Helaughed,asheleantagainstthedoor。
\"Shedidlookrippinginthatwhitefrock,\"hesaid,\"withherhair——\"
\"Stop,\"saidIfirmly。\"Shelookedjustlikealotofothergirls。\"
\"I’mhangedifshedid!\"saidHilary。
Thenheglancedatmewithapuzzledsortofexpression。
\"Isay,oldman,weren’tyoueverthatwayyourself?\"heasked。
Ihailedahansomcab。
\"Because,ifyouwere,youknow,you’dunderstandhowafellowremembersevery——\"
\"Goodnight,\"saidI。\"AtleastIsupposeyou’renotcomingtotheclub?\"
\"Well,Ithinknot,\"saidHilary。\"Ta—ta,oldfellow。Sorryweboredyou。Ofcourse,ifamanhasnever——\"
\"Never!\"Igroaned。\"Ascoreoftimes!\"
\"Well,then,doesn’tit——?
\"No,\"saidI。\"It’sjustthatthatmakesstorieslikeyourssoinfernally——\"
\"What?\"askedHilary;forIhadpausedtolightacigarette。
\"Uninteresting,\"saidI,gettingintomycab。
STRANGE,BUTTRUE
TheotherdaymyyoungcousinGeorgelunchedwithme。Heisacheeryyouth,andamemberoftheUniversityofOxford。Herefreshesmeverymuch,andIbelievethatIhavethepleasureofaffordinghimsomematterforthought。Onthisoccasion,however,hewasextremelysilentanddepressed。Isaidlittle,butmadeanextremelygoodluncheon。AfterwardsweproceededtotakeastrollinthePark。
\"Sam,oldboy,\"saidGeorgesuddenly,\"I’mthemostmiserabledevilalive。\"
\"Idon’tknowwhatelseyouexpectatyourage,\"Iobserved,lightingacigar。Hewalkedoninsilenceforafewmoments。
\"Isay,Sam,oldboy,whenyouwereyoung,wereyouever——?\"hepaused,arrangedhisneckcloth(itwasmorelikeabed—quilt——oh,thefashion,ofcourse,Iknowthat),andblushedafinecrimson。
\"WasIeverwhat,George?\"Ihadthecuriositytoask。
\"Oh,well,hardhit,youknow——agirl,youknow。\"
\"Inlove,youmean,George?No,Ineverwas。\"
\"Never?\"
\"No。Areyou?\"
\"Yes。Hangit!\"Thenhelookedatmewithapuzzledairandcontinued:
\"Isay,though,Sam,it’sawfullyfunnyyoushouldn’thave——don’tyouknowwhatit’slike,then?\"
\"HowshouldI?\"Iinquiredapologetically。\"Whatisitlike,George?\"
Georgetookmyarm。
\"It’sjustHades,\"heinformedmeconfidentially。
\"Then,\"Iremarked,\"Ihavenoreasontoregret——?\"
\"Still,youknow,\"interruptedGeorge,\"it’snothalfbad。\"
\"Thatappearstometobeaparadox,\"Iobserved。
\"It’sprecioushardtoexplainittoyouifyou’veneverfeltit,\"saidGeorge,inratheraninjuredtone。\"ButwhatIsayisquitetrue。\"
\"Ishouldn’tthinkofcontradictingyou,mydearfellow,\"I
hastenedtosay。
\"Let’ssitdown,\"saidhe,\"andwatchthepeopledriving。Wemayseesomebody——somebodyweknow,youknow,Sam。\"
\"Sowemay,\"saidI,andwesatdown。
\"Afellow,\"pursuedGeorge,withknittedbrows,\"isallturnedupsidedown,don’tyouknow?\"
\"Howverypeculiar?\"Iexclaimed。
\"Onemomenthe’sthehappiestdogintheworld,andthenext——well,thenext,it’sthedeuce。\"
\"But,\"Iobjected,\"notsurelywithoutgoodreasonforsuchachange?\"
\"Reason?Bosh!Theleastthingdoesit。\"
Iflickedtheashfrommycigar。
\"Itmay,\"Iremarked,\"affectyouinthisextraordinaryway,butsurelyitisnotsowithmostpeople?\"
\"Perhapsnot,\"Georgeconceded。\"Mostpeoplearecold—bloodedasses。\"
\"Verylikelytheexplanationliesinthatfact,\"saidI。
\"Ididn’tmeanyou,oldchap,\"saidGeorge,withapenitencewhichshowedthathehadmeantme。
\"Oh,allright,allright,\"saidI。
\"Butwhenaman’sreallyfargonethere’snothingelseintheworldbutit。\"
\"Thatseemstomenottobeahealthycondition,\"saidI。
\"Healthy?Oh,youoldidiot,Sam!Who’stalkingofhealth?
Now,onlylastnightImetheratadance。Ihadfivedanceswithher——talkedtoherhalftheevening,infact。Well,you’dthinkthatwouldlastsometime,wouldn’tyou?\"
\"Ishouldcertainlyhavesupposedso,\"Iassented。
\"Soitwouldwithmostchaps,Idaresay,butwithme——confoundit,IfeelasifIhadn’tseenherforsixmonths!\"
\"But,mydearGeorge,that’ssurelyratherabsurd?Asyoutellme,youspentalongwhilewiththeyoungperson——\"
\"The——youngperson!\"
\"You’venottoldmehername,yousee。\"
\"No,andIshan’t。Iwonderifshe’llbeattheMusgraves’
tonight!\"
\"You’resure,\"saidIsoothingly,\"tomeethersomewhereinthecourseofthenextfewweeks。\"
Georgelookedatme。Thenheobservedwithabitterlaugh:
\"It’sprettyevidentyou’veneverhadit。You’reasbadasthosechapswhowritebooks。\"
\"Well,butsurelytheyoftendescribewithsufficientwarmthand——er——color——\"
\"Oh,Idaresay;butit’sallwrong。Atleast,it’snotwhatI
feel。Thenlookatthegirlsinbooks!Allbeasts!\"
Georgespokewithmuchvehemence;sothatIwasledtosay:
\"Theladyyouarepreoccupiedwithis,Isuppose,handsome?\"
Georgeturnedswiftlyroundonme。
\"Lookhere,canyouholdyourtongue,Sam?\"
Inodded。
\"ThenI’mhangedifIwon’tpointherouttoyou?\"
\"That’suncommongoodofyou,George,\"saidI。
\"Thenyou’llsee,\"continuedGeorge。\"Butit’snotonlyherlooks,youknow,she’sthemost——\"
Hestopped。Lookingroundtoseewhy,Iobservedthathisfacewasred;heclutchedhiswalkingsticktightlyinhislefthand;
hisrighthandwastrembling,asifitwantedtojumpuptohishat。\"Hereshecomes!Look,look!\"hewhispered。
Directingmyeyestowardsthelinesofcarriageswhichrolledpastus,Iobservedagirlinavictoria;byhersidesataportlyladyofmiddleage。Thegirlwasdecidedlylikethelady;
adescriptionoftheladywouldnot,Iimagine,beinteresting。
Thegirlblushedslightlyandbowed。GeorgeandIliftedourhats。Thevictoriaanditsoccupantsweregone。Georgeleantbackwithasigh。Afteramoment,hesaid:
\"Well,thatwasher。\"
Therewasexpectancyinhistone。
\"Shehasanextremelyprepossessingappearance,\"Iobserved。
\"Thereisn’t,\"saidGeorge,\"agirlinLondontotouchher。Sam,oldboy,Ibelieve——Ibelieveshelikesmeabit。\"
\"I’msureshemust,George,\"saidI;andindeed,Ithoughtso。
\"TheGovernor’sinfernallyunreasonable,\"saidGeorge,fretfully。
\"Oh,you’vementionedittohim?\"
\"Isoundedhim。Oh,youmaybesurehedidn’tseewhatIwasupto。Iputitquitegenerally。Hetalkedrotaboutgettingonintheworld。Whowantstogeton?\"
\"Who,indeed?\"saidI。\"Itisonlychangingwhatyouareforsomethingnobetter。\"
\"AndaboutwaitingtillIknowmyownmind。Isn’titenoughtolookather?\"
\"Ample,inmyopinion,\"saidI。
Georgerosetohisfeet。
\"They’vegonetoaparty,theywon’tcomeroundagain,\"saidhe。
\"Wemayaswellgo,mayn’twe?\"
Iwasverycomfortable,soIsaidtimidly:
\"Wemightseesomebodyelseweknow。\"
\"Oh,somebodyelsebehanged!Whowantstoseeem?\"
\"I’msureIdon’t。\"saidIhastily,asIrosefrommyarmchair,whichwasatoncesnappedup。
Wewereabouttoreturntotheclub,whenIobservedLadyMickleham’sbarouchestandingunderthetrees。IinvitedGeorgetocomeandbeintroduced。
Hedisplayedgreatindifference。
\"Shegivesagoodmanyparties,\"saidI;\"andperhaps——\"
\"ByJove!Yes,Imayaswell,\"saidGeorge。\"Gladyouhadthesensetothinkofthat,oldman。\"
SoItookhimuptoDollyandpresentedhim。Dollywasverygracious;Georgeisanevidentlypresentableboy。Wefellintoconversation。
\"Mycousin,LadyMickleham,\"saidI,\"hasbeentellingme——\"
\"Oh,shutup,Sam!\"saidGeorge,not,however,appearingveryangry。
\"AboutasubjectonwhichyoucanassisthimmorethanIcan,inasmuchasyouaremarried。Heisinlove。\"
DollyglancedatGeorge。
\"Oh,whatfun!\"saidshe。
\"Fun!\"criedGeorge。
\"Imean,howawfullyinteresting,\"saidDolly,suddenlytransformingherexpression。
\"Andhewantedtobeintroducedtoyoubecauseyoumightaskherandhimto——\"
Georgebecamered,andbegantostammeranapology。
\"Oh,Idon’tbelievehim,\"saidDollykindly;\"healwaysmakespeopleuncomfortableifhecan。Whatwereyoutellinghim,Mr。
George?\"
\"It’snousetellinghimanything。Hecan’tunderstand,\"saidGeorge。
\"Isshevery——?\"askedDolly,fixingdoubtfullygraveeyesonmyyoungcousin。
\"Sam’sseenher,\"saidhe,inanexcessofshyness。
Dollyturnedtomeforanopinion,andIgaveone:
\"Sheisjust,\"saidI,\"ascharmingashethinksher。\"
Dollyleantovertomycousin,andwhispered,\"Tellmehername。\"
AndhewhisperedsomethingbacktoDolly。
\"It’sawfullykindofyou,LadyMickleham,\"hesaid。
\"Iamakindoldthing,\"saidDolly,alloverdimples。\"Icaneasilygettoknowthem。\"
\"Oh,youreallyareawfullykind,LadyMickleham。\"
Dollysmileduponhim,wavedherhandtome,anddroveoff,crying——
\"DotrytomakeMr。Carterunderstand!\"
Wewereleftalong。Georgeworeameditativesmile。Presentlyherousedhimselftosay:
\"She’sreallyaverykindwoman。She’ssosympathetic。She’snotlikeyou。Iexpectshefeltitonceherself,youknow。\"
\"Onecannevertell,\"saidIcarelessly。\"Perhapsshedid——once。\"
Georgefelltobroodingagain。IthoughtIwouldtryanexperiment。
\"Notaltogetherbad—looking,either,isshe?\"Iasked,lightingacigarette。
Georgestarted。
\"What?Oh,well,Idon’tknow。Isupposesomepeoplemightthinkso。\"
Hepaused,andadded,withabashful,knowingsmile——
\"Youcanhardlyexpectmetogointorapturesabouther,canyou,oldman?\"
Iturnedmyheadaway,buthecaughtme。
\"Oh,youneedn’tsmileinthatinfernallypatronizingway,\"hecriedangrily。
\"Uponmyword,George,\"saidI,\"Idon’tknowthatIneed。\"
THEVERYLATESTTHING
\"It’stheverylatestthing,\"saidLadyMickleham,standingbythetableinthesmokingroom,andholdinganalbuminherhand。
\"Iwishithadbeenalittlelaterstill,\"saidI,forIfeltembarrassed。
\"Youpromise,onyourhonor,tobeabsolutelysincere,youknow,andthenyouwritewhatyouthinkofme。SeewhatalotofopinionsI’vegotalready,\"andsheheldupthethickalbum。
\"Itwouldbeextremelyinterestingtoreadthem,\"Iobserved。
\"Oh!\"butthey’requiteconfidential,\"saidDolly。\"That’spartofthefun。\"
\"Idon’tappreciatethatpart,\"saidI。
\"Perhapsyouwillwhenyou’vewrittenyours,\"suggestedLadyMickleham。
\"Meanwhile,mayn’tIseetheDowager’s?\"
\"Well,I’llshowyoualittlebitoftheDowager’s。Lookhere:
OurdearDorotheaisstillperhapsjustathoughtwantinginseriousness,butthesenseofherpositionishavingasoberingeffect。’\"
\"Ihopenot,\"Iexclaimedapprehensively。\"Whoseisthis?\"
\"Archie’s。\"
\"MayIseeabit——?\"
\"Notabit,\"saidDolly。\"Archie’sis——isratherfoolish,Mr。
Carter。\"
\"SoIsuppose,\"saidI。
\"Dearboy!\"saidDollyreflectively。
\"Ihatesentiment,\"saidI。\"Here’salongone。Whowrote——?\"
\"Oh,youmustn’tlookatthat——notatthat,aboveall!\"
\"Whyaboveall?\"Iaskedwithsomeseverity。
Dollysmiled;thensheobservedinasoothingtone。
\"Perhapsitwon’tbe’aboveall’whenyou’vewrittenyours,Mr。
Carter。\"
\"Bytheway,\"Isaidcarelessly,\"IsupposeArchieseesallofthem?\"
\"Hehasneveraskedtoseethem,\"answeredLadyMickleham。
Thereplyseemedsatisfactory;ofcourse,Archiehadonlytoask。
Itookacleanquillandpreparedtowrite。
\"Youpromisetobesincere,youknow,\"Dollyremindedme。
Ilaiddownmypen。
\"Impossible!\"saidIfirmly。
\"O,butwhy,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Therewouldbeanendofourfriendship。\"
\"Doyouthinkasbadlyofmeasallthat?\"askedDollywitharuefulair。
Ileantbackinmychair,andlookedatDolly。Shelookedatme。
Shesmiled。Imayhavesmiled。
\"Yes,\"saidI。
\"Thenyouneedn’twriteitquitealldown,\"saidDolly。
\"Iamobliged,\"saidI,takingupmypen。
\"Youmustn’tsaywhatisn’ttrue,butyouneedn’tsayeverythingthatis——thatmightbe——true,\"explainedDolly。
This,again,seemedsatisfactory。Ibegantowrite,Dollysittingoppositemewithherelbowsonthetable,andwatchingme。
Aftertenminutes’steadywork,whichincludedseveralpausesforreflection,Ithrewdownthepen,leantbackinmychair,andlitacigarette。
\"Nowreadit,\"saidDolly,herchininherhandsandhereyesfixedonme。
\"Itis,onthewhole,\"Iobserved,\"complimentary。\"
\"No,really,\"saidDolly。\"Yetyoupromisedtobesincere。\"
\"Youwouldnothavehadmedisagreeable?\"Iasked。
\"That’sadifferentthing,\"saidDolly。\"Readit,please。\"
\"LadyMickleham,\"Iread,\"isusuallyaccountedapersonofconsiderableattractions。Sheiswidelypopular,andmorethanonewomanhasbeenknowntolikeher。\"
\"Idon’tquiteunderstandthat,\"interruptedDolly。
\"Itissurelysimple,\"saidI;andIreadonwithoutdelay。\"Sheiskindeventoherhusband,andtakestheutmostpainstoconcealfromhermother—in—lawanythingcalculatedtodistressthatlady。\"
\"Isupposeyoumeanthattobenice?\"saidDolly。
\"Ofcourse,\"Ianswered;andIproceeded:\"Shenevergivespaintoanyone,exceptwiththeobjectofgivingpleasuretosomebodyelse,andherkindnessisnolesswidelydiffusedthanitisheartyandsincere。\"
\"Thatreallyisnice,\"saidDolly,smiling。
\"Thankyou,\"saidI,smilingalso。\"Sheisverycharitable;shetakesapleasureinencouragingtheshyandbashful——\"
\"Howdoyouknowthat?\"askedDolly。
\"While,\"Ipursued,\"sufferingwithoutimpatienceaconsiderableamountofself—assurance。\"
\"Youcan’tknowwhetherI’mpatientornot,\"remarkedDolly。
\"I’mpolite。\"
\"Shethinks,\"Ireadon,\"noevilofthemostattractiveofwomen,andhasasmileforthemostunattractiveofmen。\"
\"Youputthatverynicely,\"saidDolly,nodding。
\"Theformermayconstantlybeseeninherhouse——andthelatteratleastasoftenasmanypeoplewouldthinkdesirable。\"(HereforsomereasonDollylaughed。)\"Herintellectualpowersarenotdespicable。\"
\"Thankyou,Mr。Carter。\"
\"Shecansaywhatshemeansontheoccasionsonwhichshewishestodoso,andsheis,atothertimes,equallycapableofmeaningmuchmorethanshewouldbelikelytosay。\"
\"Howdoyoumeanthat,Mr。Carter,please?\"
\"Itexplainsitself,\"saidI,andIproceeded:\"Thefactofherreceivingaremarkwithdisapprobationdoesnotnecessarilymeanthatitcausesherdispleasure,normustitbeassumedthatshedidnotexpectavisitormerelyonthegroundthatshegreetshimwithsurprise。\"
HereIobservedLadyMicklehamlookingatmerathersuspiciously。
\"Idon’tthinkthat’squiteniceofyou,Mr。Carter,\"shesaidpathetically。
\"LadyMicklehamis,inshort,\"Iwenton,comingtomyperoration,\"equallydeservingofesteemandaffection——\"
\"Esteemandaffection!Thatsoundsjustright,\"saidDollyapprovingly。
\"Andthosewhohavebeenadmittedtotheenjoymentofherfriendshipareunanimousindiscouragingallothersfromseekingasimilarprivilege。\"
\"Ibegyourpardon?\"criedLadyMickleham。
\"Areunanimous,\"Irepeated,slowlyanddistinctly,\"indiscouragingallothersfromseekingasimilarprivilege。\"
Dollylookedatme,withherbrowslightlypuckered。Ileantback,puffingatmycigarette。Presently——fortherewasquitealongpause——Dolly’slipscurved。
\"Mymentalpowersarenotdespicable,\"sheobserved。
\"Ihavesaidso,\"saidI。
\"IthinkIsee,\"sheremarked。
\"Isthereanythingwrong?\"Iaskedanxiously。
\"N—no,\"saidDolly,\"notexactlywrong。Infact,IratherthinkIlikethatlastbitbest。Still,don’tyouthink——?
Sherose,cameroundthetable,tookupthepen,andputitbackinmyhand。\"What’sthisfor?\"Iasked。
\"Tocorrectthemistake,\"saidDolly。
\"Doyoureallythinkso?\"saidI。
\"I’mafraidso,\"saidDolly。
Itookthepenandmadeacertainalteration。Dollytookupthealbum。
\"’Areunanimous,’\"sheread,\"inencouragingallotherstoseekasimilarprivilege。’Yes,youmeantthat,youknow,Mr。
Carter。\"
\"IsupposeImusthave,\"saidIrathersulkily。
\"Theotherwasnonsense,\"urgedDolly。
\"Oh,utternonsense,\"saidI。
\"Andyouhadtowritethetruth!\"
\"Yes,Ihadtowritesomeofit。\"
\"Andnonsensecan’tbethetruth,canit,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Ofcourseitcan’t,LadyMickleham。\"
\"Whereareyougoing,Mr。Carter?\"sheasked;forIrosefrommychair。
\"Tohaveaquietsmoke,\"saidI。
\"Alone?\"askedDolly。
\"Yes,alone,\"saidI。
Iwalkedtowardsthedoor。Dollystoodbythetablefingeringthealbum。Ihadalmostreachedthedoor;thenIhappenedtolookround。
\"Mr。Carter!\"saidDolly,asthoughanewideahadstruckher。
\"Whatisit,LadyMickleham?\"
\"Well,youknow,Mr。Carter,I——Ishalltrytoforgetthatmistakeofyours。\"
\"You’reverykind,LadyMickleham。\"
\"But,\"saidDollywithatroubledsmile,\"I——I’mquiteafraidI
shan’tsucceed,Mr。Carter。\"
Afterall,thesmokingroomismeantforsmoking。
ANUNCOUNTEDHOUR
Wewerestanding,LadyMicklehamandI,atadoorwhichledfromthemorningroomtotheterraceatTheTowers。Iwasonavisittothehistoricpile(byVanbrugh——outofthemoneyaccumulatedbythethirdEarl——PaymastertotheForces——temp。QueenAnne)。
Themorningroomisalargeroom。Archiewassomewhereinit。
LadyMicklehamheldajarcontainingpatedefoiegras;fromtimetotimeshedugapieceoutwithaforkandflungthemorseltoabigretrieverwhichwassittingontheterrace。Themorningwasfine,butcloudy。LadyMicklehamworeblue。Thedogswallowedthepatewithgreediness。
\"It’ssobadforhim,\"sighedshe;\"butthedearlikesitsomuch。\"
\"Howhumanthecreaturesare,\"saidI。
\"Doyouknow,\"pursuedLadyMickleham,\"thattheDowagersaysI’mextravagant。Shethinksdogsoughtnottobefedonpatedefoiegras。\"
\"Yourextravagance,\"Iobserved,\"isprobablyduetoyourhavingbeenbroughtuponamoderateincome。Ihavefelttheeffectmyself。\"
\"Ofcourse,\"saidDolly,\"wearehitbytheagriculturaldepression。\"
\"TheCartersalso,\"Imurmured,\"arelandedgentry。\"
\"Afterall,Idon’tseemuchpointineconomy,doyou,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Economy,\"Iremarked,puttingmyhandsinmypockets,\"isgoingwithoutsomethingyoudowantincaseyoushould,someday,wantsomethingwhichyouprobablywon’twant。\"
\"Isn’tthatclever?\"askedDollyinanapprehensivetone。
\"Oh,dear,no,\"Iansweredreassuringly。\"Anybodycandothat——iftheycaretotry,youknow。\"
Dollytossedapieceofpatetotheretriever。
\"Ihavemadeadiscoverylately,\"Iobserved。
\"Whatareyoutwotalkingabout?\"calledArchie。
\"You’renotmeanttohear,\"saidDolly,withoutturninground。
\"Yet,ifit’sadiscovery,heoughttohearit。\"
\"He’smadeagoodmanylately,\"saidDolly。
Shedugoutthelastbitofpate,flungittothedog,andhandedtheemptypottome。
\"Don’tbesoallegorical,\"Iimplored。\"Besides,it’sreallynotjusttoArchie。Nodoubtthedogisaniceone,but——\"
\"Howfoolishyouarethismorning!What’sthediscovery?\"
\"Anentirelysurprisingone。\"
\"Oh,butletmehear!It’snothingaboutArchie,isit?\"
\"No,I’vetoldyouallArchie’ssins。\"
\"NorMrs。Hilary?IwishitwasMrs。Hilary!\"
\"Shallwewalkontheterrace?\"Isuggested。
\"Oh,yes,let’s,\"saidDolly,steppingout,andputtingonabroad—brimmed,low—crownedhat,whichshecaughtupfromachairhardby。\"Itisn’tMrs。Hilary?\"sheadded,sittingdownonagardenseat。
\"No,\"saidI,leaningonasundialwhichstoodbytheseat。
\"Well,whatisit?\"
\"Itissimple,\"saidI,\"andserious。Itisnot,therefore,likeyou,LadyMickleham。\"
\"It’slikeMrs。Hilary,\"saidDolly。
\"No;becauseitisn’tpleasant。Bytheway,youarejealousofMrs。Hilary?\"
Dollysaidnothingatall。Shetookoffherhat,roughenedherhairalittle,andassumedaneffectivepose。Still,itisafact(forwhatitisworth)thatshedoesn’tcaremuchaboutMrs。Hilary。
\"Thediscovery,\"Icontinued,\"isthatI’mgrowingmiddle—aged。\"
\"Youaremiddle—aged,\"saidDolly,spearingherhatwithitslongpin。
Iwas,verynaturally,nettledatthis。
\"Sowillyoubesoon,\"Iretorted。
\"Notsoon,\"saidDolly。
\"Someday,\"Iinsisted。
Afterapauseofabouthalfaminute,Dollysaid,\"Isupposeso。\"
\"Youwillbecome,\"Ipursued,idlydrawingpatternswithmyfingeronthesundial,\"wrinkled,rough,fat——and,perhaps,good。\"
\"You’reverydisagreeabletoday,\"saidDolly。
Sheroseandstoodbyme。
\"Whatdothemottoesmean?\"sheasked。
Thereweretwo;Iwillnotsaytheycontradictedoneanother,buttheylookedatlifefromdifferentpointsofview。
\"Pereuntetimputantur,\"Iread。
\"Well,what’sthat,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Atrite,butoffensive,assertion,\"saidI,lightingacigarette。
\"Butwhatdoesitmean?\"sheasked,apuckeronherforehead。
\"Whatdoesitmatter?\"saidI。\"Let’strytheother。\"
\"Theotherislonger。\"
\"Andbetter。Horasnonnumeronisiserenas。\"
\"Andwhat’sthat?\"
Itranslatedliterally。Dollyclappedherhands,andherfacegleamedwithsmiles。
\"Ilikethatone,\"shecried。
\"Stop!\"saidIimperatively。\"You’llsetitmoving!\"
\"It’sverysensible,\"saidshe。
\"Morefreelyrendered,itmeans,Iliveonlywhenyou——\"
\"ByJove!\"remarkedArchie,comingupbehindus,pipeinmouth,\"therewasalotofrainlastnight。I’vejustmeasureditinthegauge。\"
\"Somepeoplemeasureeverything,\"saidI,withadispleasedair。
\"Itisadetestablehabit。\"
\"Archie,whatdoesPereuntetimputanturmean?\"
\"Eh?Oh,Isee。Well,Isay,Carter!——Oh,well,youknow,I
supposeitmeansyou’vegottopayforyourfun,doesn’tit?\"
\"Oh,isthatall?Iwasafraiditwassomethinghorrid。Whydidyoufrightenme,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Ithinkitisratherhorrid,\"saidI。
\"Why,itisn’teventrue,\"saidDollyscornfully。
NowwhenIheardthisancientandrespectablelegendthuscavalierlychallenged,Ifelltostudyingitagain,andpresentlyIexclaimed:
\"Yes,you’reright!Ifitsaidthat,itwouldn’tbetrue;butArchietranslateditwrong。\"
\"Well,youhaveashot,\"suggestedArchie。
\"Theoystersareeatenandputdowninthebill,\"saidI。\"Andyouwillobserve,Archie,thatitdoesnotsayinwhosebill。\"
\"Ah!\"saidDolly。
\"Well,somebody’sgottopay,\"persistedArchie。
\"Oh,yes,somebody,\"laughedDolly。
\"Well,Idon’tknow,\"saidArchie。\"Isupposethechapthathasthefun——\"
\"It’snotalwaysachap,\"observedDolly。
\"Well,thentheindividual,\"amendedArchie。\"Isupposehe’dhavetopay。\"
\"Itdoesn’tsayso,\"Iremarkedmildly。\"Andaccordingtomysmallexperience——\"
\"I’mquitesureyourmeaningisright,Mr。Carter,\"saidDollyinanauthoritativetone。
\"Asfortheothermotto,Archie,\"saidI,\"itmerelymeansthatawomanconsidersallhourswastedwhichshedoesnotspendinthesocietyofherhusband。\"
\"Oh,come,youdon’tgammonme,\"saidArchie。\"Itmeansthatthesundon’tshineunlessit’sfine,youknow。\"
Archiedeliveredthisremarkablediscoveryinatoneofgreatselfsatisfaction。
\"Oh,youdearoldthing!\"saidDolly。
\"Well,itdoesyouknow,\"saidhe。
Therewasapause。Archiekissedhiswife(Iamnotcomplaining;
hehas,ofcourse,aperfectrighttokisshiswife)andstrolledawaytowardthehothouses。
Ilitanothercigarette。ThenDolly,pointingtothestemofthedial,cried:
\"Why,here’sanotherinscription——oh,andinEnglish?\"
Shewasright。Therewasanother——carelesslyscratchedontheoldbatteredcolumn——nearlyeffaced,forthecharactershadbeenbutlightlymarked——andyetnot,asIconceivedfromthetenorofthewords,veryold。
\"Whatisit?\"askedDolly,peeringovermyshoulder,asIbentdowntoreadtheletters,andshadinghereyeswithherhand。
(Whydidn’tsheputonherhat?WetouchtheIncomprehensible。)
\"Itis,\"saidI,\"asingularlypoor,shallow,feeble,andundesirablelittleverse。\"
\"Readitout,\"saidDolly。
SoIreadit。Thesillyfellowhadwritten:
LifeisLove,thepoetstellus,Inthelittlebookstheysellus;Butpray,ma’am——what’sofLifetheUse,IfLifebeLove?
ForLove’stheDeuce。
Dollybegantolaughgently,diggingthepinagainintoherhat。
\"Iwonder,\"shesaid,\"whethertheyusedtocomeandsitbythisolddialjustaswedidthismorning!\"
\"Ishouldn’tbeatallsurprised,\"saidI。\"Andanotherpointoccurstome,LadyMickleham。\"
\"Oh,doesit?What’sthat,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Doyouthinkthatanybodymeasuredtheraingauge!\"
Dollylookedatmeverygravely。
\"I’msosorrywhenyoudothat,\"saidshepathetically。
Ismiled。
\"Ireallyam,\"saiddolly。\"Butyoudon’tmeanit,doyou?\"
\"Certainlynot,\"saidI。
Dollysmiled。
\"Nomorethanhedid!\"saidI,pointingtothesundial。
Andthenwebothsmiled。
\"Willthishourcount,Mr。Carter?\"askedDolly,assheturnedaway。
\"Thatwouldberatherstrict,\"saidI。
AREMINISCENCE
\"Iknowexactlywhatyourmotherwants,Phyllis,\"observedMrs。
Hilary。
\"It’sjusttoteachthemtheordinarythings,\"saidlittleMissPhyllis。
\"Whataretheordinarythings?\"Iventuredtoask。
\"Whatallgirlsaretaught,ofcourse,Mr。Carter,\"saidMrs。
Hilary。\"I’llwriteaboutitatonce。\"AndshelookedatmeasifshethoughtthatImightbeabouttogo。
\"Itisacomprehensivecurriculum,\"Iremarked,crossingmylegs,\"ifonemayjudgefromtheresults。Howoldareyouryoungersisters,MissPhyllis?\"
\"Fourteenandsixteen,\"sheanswered。
\"Itisapity,\"saidI,\"thatthisdidn’thappenalittlewhileback。Iknewagovernesswhowouldhavesuitedtheplacetoat。’\"
Mrs。Hilarysmiledscornfully。
\"Weusedtomeet——\"Icontinued。
\"Whousedtomeet?\"askedMissPhyllis。
\"Thegovernessandmyself,tobesure,\"saidI,\"undertheoldappletreeinthegardenatthebackofthehouse。\"
\"Whathouse,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Myfather’shouse,ofcourse,MissPhyllis。And——\"
\"Oh,butthatmustbeagesago!\"criedshe。
Mrs。Hilaryrose,castoneglanceatme,andturnedtothewritingtable。Herpenbegantoscratchalmostimmediately。
\"Andundertheappletree,\"Ipursued,\"wehadmanypleasantconversations。\"
\"Whatabout?\"askedMissPhyllis。
\"Onethingandanother,\"Ireturned。\"Theschoolroomwindowslookedoutthatway——acircumstancewhichmademattersmorecomfortableforeverybody。\"
\"Ishouldhavethought——\"beganMissPhyllis,smilingslightly,butkeepinganapprehensiveeyeonMrs。Hilary’sback。
\"Notatall,\"Iinterrupted。\"Mysisterssawus,yousee。Well,ofcoursetheyentertainedanincreasedrespectforme,whichwasallright,andadecreasedrespectforthegoverness,whichwasalsoallright。WemetinthehourallottedtoFrenchlessons——byanundesignedbutappropriatecoincidence。\"
\"Ishallsayaboutthirty—five,Phyllis,\"calledMrs。Hilaryfromthewritingtable。
\"Yes,CousinMary,\"calledMissPhyllis。\"Didyoumeetoften,Mr。Carter?\"
\"EveryeveningintheFrenchhour,\"saidI。
\"She’llhavegotoveranynonsensebythen,\"calledMrs。Hilary。
\"Theyareoftenfullofit。\"
\"Shehadremarkablyprettyhair,\"Icontinued;\"verysoftitwas。
Dearme!Iwasjusttwenty。\"
\"Howoldwasshe?\"askedMissPhyllis。
\"One’sfirstlove,\"saidI,\"isneveranyage。Everythingwentverywell。Happinesswasimpossible。Iwasheartbroken,andthegovernesswasfarfromhappy。Ah,happy,happytimes!\"
\"Butyoudon’tseemtohavebeenhappy,\"objectedMissPhyllis。
\"Thencameaterribleevening——\"
\"Sheoughttobeapersonofactivehabits,\"calledMrs。Hilary。
\"Ithinkso,yes,CousinMary;oh,whathappened,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Andanearlyriser,\"addedMrs。Hilary。
\"Yes,CousinMary。Whatdidhappen,Mr。Carter?\"
\"MymothercameinduringtheFrenchhour。Idon’tknowwhetheryouhaveobserved,MissPhyllis,howeasyitistoslipintothehabitofenteringroomswhenyouhadbetterremainoutside。Now,evenmyfriendArch——However,that’sneitherherenorthere。Mymother,asIsay,camein。\"
\"ChurchofEngland,ofcourse,Phyllis?\"calledMrs。Hilary。
\"Oh,ofcourse,cousinMary,\"criedlittleMissPhyllis。
\"Thesectmakesnodifference,\"Iobserved。\"Well,mysisters,likegoodgirls,begantorepeattheirregularverbs。Butitwasnouse。Wewerediscovered。Thatnight,MissPhyllis,Inearlydrownedmyself。\"
\"Youmusthavebeen——Oh,howawful,Mr。Carter!\"
\"Thatistosay,IthoughthoweffectiveitwouldbeifIdrownedmyself。Ah,well,itcouldn’tlast!\"
\"Andthegoverness?\"
\"Sheleftnextmorning。\"
Therewasapause。MissPhyllislookedsadandthoughtful;I
smiledpensivelyandbeatmycaneagainstmyleg。
\"Haveyoueverseenhersince?\"askedMissPhyllis。
\"No。\"
\"Shouldn’t——shouldn’tyouliketo,Mr。Carter?\"
\"Heavenforbid!\"saidI。
SuddenlyMrs。Hilarypushedbackherchair,andturnedroundtous。
\"Well,Ideclare,\"saidshe,\"Imustbegrowingstupid。HerehaveIbeenwritingtotheAgency,whenIknowoftheverythingmyself!ThePolwheedles’governessisjustleavingthem;she’sbeenthereoverfifteenyears。LadyPolwheedletoldmeshewasatreasure。Iwonderifshe’dgo!\"
\"Isshewhatmammawants?\"
\"Mydear,you’llbemostluckytogether。I’llwriteatonceandaskhertocometolunchtomorrow。Imetherthere。She’sanadmirableperson。\"
Mrs。Hilarywheeledroundagain。IshookmyheadatMissPhyllis。
\"Poorchildren!\"saidI。\"Manageabitoffunforthemsometimes。\"
MissPhyllisassumedastaidandvirtuousair。
\"Theymustbeproperlybroughtup,Mr。Carter,\"saidshe。
\"IsthereaHouseOpposite?\"Iasked;andMissPhyllisblushed。
Mrs。Hilaryadvanced,holdingoutaletter。
\"Youmayaswellpostthisforme,\"saidshe。\"Oh,andwouldyouliketocometolunchtomorrow?\"
\"TomeettheParagon?\"
\"No。She’llbethere,ofcourse;butyouseeit’sSaturday,andHilarywillbehere;andIthoughtyoumighttakehimoffsomewhereandleavePhyllisandmetohaveaquiettalkwithher。\"
\"Thatwon’tamusehermuch,\"Iventuredtoremark。
\"She’snotcomingtobeamused,\"saidMrs。Hilaryseverely。
\"Allright;I’llcome,\"saidI,takingmyhat。
\"Here’sthenoteforMissBannerman,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
Thatsortofthingneversurprisesme。Ilookedattheletterandread\"MissM。E。Bannerman。\"\"M。E。\"stoodfor\"MaudElizabeth。\"Iputmyhatbackonthetable。
\"WhatsortofalookingpersonisthisMissBannerman?\"Iasked。
\"Oh,aspare,uprightwoman——hairalittlegray,and——Idon’tknowhowtodescribeit——herfacelooksalittleweather—beaten。
Shewearsglasses。\"
\"Thankyou,\"saidI。\"AndwhatsortofalookingpersonamI?\"
Mrs。Hilarylookedscornful。MissPhyllisopenedhereyes。
\"HowolddoIlook,MissPhyllis?\"Iasked。
\"Idon’tknow,\"shesaiduncomfortably。
\"Guess,\"saidIsternly。
\"F—forty—three——oh,orforty—two?\"sheasked,withatimidupwardglance。
\"Whenyou’vedoneyournonsense——\"beganMrs。Hilary;butIlaidahandonherarm。
\"Shouldyoucallmefat?\"Iasked。
\"Oh,no;notfat,\"saidMrs。Hilary,withasmile,whichshestrovetorenderreassuring。
\"Iamundoubtedlybald,\"Iobserved。
\"You’recertainlybald,\"saidMrs。Hilary,withregretfulcandor。
Itookmyhatandremarked:\"Amanhasarighttothinkofhimself,butIamnotthinkingmainlyofmyself。Ishallnotcometolunch。\"
\"Yousaidyouwould,\"criedMrs。Hilaryindignantly。
Ipoisedtheletterinmyhand,readingagain\"MissM(aud)
E(lizabeth)Bannerman。\"MissPhyllislookedatmecuriously,Mrs。Hilaryimpatiently。
\"Whoknows,\"saidI,\"thatImaynotbeaRomance——aVanishedDream——aGreenMemory——anOasis?ApersonwhohasthefortunetobeanOasis,MissPhyllis,shouldbeverycareful。Iwillnotcometolunch。\"
\"DoyoumeanthatyouusedtoknowMissBannerman?\"askedMrs。
Hilaryinherpleasantprosaicway。
Itwasasinseventeenyearsold;itwouldhardlycountagainsttheblamelessMissBannermannow。\"YoumaytellherwhenI’mgone,\"saidItoMissPhyllis。
MissPhylliswhisperedinMrs。Hilary’sear。
\"Another?\"criedMrs。Hilary,aghast。
\"Itwastheveryfirst,\"saidI,defendingmyself。
Mrs。Hilarybegantolaugh。Ismoothedmyhat。
\"Tellher,\"saidI,\"thatIrememberedherverywell。\"
\"Ishalldonosuchthing,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
\"Andtellher,\"Icontinued,\"thatIamstillhandsome。\"
\"Ishan’tsayawordaboutyou,\"saidMrs。Hilary。
\"Ah,well,thatwillbebetterstill,\"saidI。
\"She’llhaveforgottenyourveryname,\"remarkedMrs。Hilary。
Iopenedthedoor,butathoughtstruckme。Iturnedroundandobserved:
\"Idaresayherhair’sjustassoftasever。Still——I’lllunchsomeotherday。\"
AVERYFINEDAY
\"Iseenothingwhatevertolaughat,\"saidMrs。Hilarycoldly,whenIhadfinished。
\"Ididnotaskyoutolaugh,\"Iobservedmildly。\"Imentioneditmerelyasatypicalcase。\"
\"It’snottypical,\"shesaid,andtookupherembroidery。Butamomentlatersheadded:
\"Poorboy!I’mnotsurprised。\"
\"I’mnotsurprisedeither,\"Iremarked。\"Itis,however,extremelydeplorable。\"
\"It’syourownfault。Whydidyouintroducehim?\"
\"Abook,\"Iobserved,\"mightbewrittenontheInjusticeoftheJust。HowcouldIsupposethathewould——?\"
Bytheway,Imightaswellstatewhathe——thatis,myyoungcousinGeorge——haddone。Unlessoneisagenius,itisbesttoaimatbeingintelligible。
Well,hewasinlove;andwithaviewofprovidinghimwithanotherhouseatwhichhemightbelikelytomeettheadoredobject,IpresentedhimtomyfriendLadyMickleham。ThatwasonaTuesday。Afortnightlater,asIwassittinginHydePark(asIsometimesdo),Georgecameupandtookthechairnexttome。I
gavehimacigarette,butmadenoremark。Georgebeathiscanerestlesslyagainstthelegofhistrousers。
\"I’vegottogouptomorrow,\"heremarked。
\"Ah,well,Oxfordisadelightfultown,\"saidI。
\"D————dhole,\"observedGeorge。
Iwasabouttocontestthisopinionwhenavictoriadroveby。
Agirlsatinit,sidebysidewithaportlylady。
\"George,George!\"Icried。\"Theresheis——Look!\"
Georgelooked,raisedhishatwithsufficientpoliteness,andremarkedtome:
\"Hangit,oneseesthosepeopleeverywhere。\"
Iamnoteasilysurprised,butIconfessIturnedtoGeorgewithanexpressionofwonder。
\"Afortnightago——\"Ibegan。
\"Don’tbeanass,Sam,\"saidGeorge,rathersharply。\"She’snotabadgirl,but——\"Hebrokeoffandbegantowhistle。Therewasalongpause。Ilitacigar,andlookedatthepeople。
\"IlunchedattheMicklehams’today,\"saidGeorge,drawingafigureonthegravelwithhiscane。\"Mickleham’snotabadfellow。\"
\"Oneofthebestfellowsalive,\"Iagreed。
\"Iwonderwhyshemarriedhim,though,\"musedGeorge;andheadded,withapparentirrelevance,\"It’sadashedbore,goingup。\"
Andthenasmilespreadoverhisface;ablushaccompaniedit,andproclaimedGeorge’ssenseofdeliciouswickedness。Iturnedonhim。
\"Outwithit!\"Isaid。
\"It’snothing。Don’tbeafool,\"saidGeorge。
\"Wheredidyougetthatrose?\"Iasked。
\"Thisrose?\"herepeated,fondlingtheblossom。\"Itwasgiventome。\"
UponthisIgroaned——andIstillconsiderthatIhadgoodreasonformyaction。Itwasthegroanofamoralist。
\"They’veaskedmetostayatTheTowersnextvac。,\"saidGeorge,glancingatmeoutofthecornerofanimmoraleye。Perhapshethoughtittooimmoral,forheadded,\"It’sallright,Sam。\"I
believethatIhaveasmuchselfcontrolasmostpeople,butatthispointIchuckled。
\"Whatthedeuceareyoulaughingat?\"askedGeorge。
Imadenoanswer,andhewenton——
\"Younevertoldmewhata——whatshewaslike,Sam。Wantedtokeepittoyourself,youolddog。\"
\"George——George——George!\"saidI。\"Yougouptomorrow?\"
\"Yes,confoundit!\"
\"Andtermlaststwomonths?\"
\"Yes,hangit!\"
\"Alliswell,\"saidI,crossingmylegs。\"ThereismorevirtueintwomonthsthaninTenCommandments。\"
Georgeregardedmewithadispassionateair。
\"You’reanawfulasssometimes,\"heobservedcritically,andherosefromhisseat。
\"Mustyougo?\"saidI。
\"Yes——gotalotofthingstodo。Lookhere,Sam,don’tgoandtalkabout——\"
\"Talkaboutwhat?\"
\"Anything,youoldidiot,\"saidGeorge,withapleasedsmile,andhedugmeintheribswithhiscane,anddeparted。
Isaton,admiringthesimpleelementswhichconstitutethehappinessoftheyoung。Alas!Withadvancingyears,Wrongloseshalfitsflavor!Tobeimproperceases,byitself,tosatisfy。
Immersedinthesereflections,Ifailedtonoticethatabarouchehadstoppedoppositetome;andsuddenlyIfoundafootmanaddressingme。
\"Begyourpardon,sir,\"hesaid。\"Herladyshipwishestospeaktoyou。\"
\"Itisablessedthingtobeyoung,Martin,\"Iobserved。
\"Yes,sir,\"saidMartin。\"It’safineday,sir。\"
\"Butveryshort,\"saidI。Martinisrespectful,andsaidnothing——tome,atleast。Whathesaidtothecoachman,Idon’tknow。
AndthenIwentuptoDolly。
\"Getinanddriveround,\"suggestedDolly。
\"Ican’t,\"saidI。\"Ihaveabadnose。\"
\"What’sthematterwithyournose?\"askedDolly,smiling。
\"Thejointisinjured,\"saidI,gettingintothebarouche。AndI
addedseverely,\"IsupposeI’dbettersitwithmybacktothehorses?\"
\"Oh,no,you’renotmyhusband,\"saidDolly。\"Sithere;\"andshemaderoombyher,asshecontinued,\"IratherlikeMr。George。\"
\"I’mashamedofyou,\"Iobserved。\"Consideringyourage——\"
\"Mr。Carter!\"
\"Considering,Isay,hisage,yourconductisscandalous。I
shallneverintroduceanyniceboystoyouagain。\"
\"Oh,pleasedo,\"saidDolly,claspingherhands。
\"Yougivethemroses,\"saidI,accusingly。\"Youmakethemfalsetotheirearliestloves——\"
\"Shewasapudding—facedthing,\"observedDolly。
Ifrowned。Dolly,byanaccident,allowedthetipofherfingertotouchmyarmforaninstant。
\"He’saniceboy,\"saidshe。\"Howlikeheistoyou,Mr。Carter!\"
\"Iamalongwaypastthat,\"saidI。\"Iamthirty—six。\"
\"Ifyoumeantobedisagreeable!\"saidsheturningaway。\"Ibegyourpardonfortouchingyou,Mr。Carter。\"
\"Ididnotnoticeit,LadyMickleham。\"
\"Wouldyouliketogetout?\"
\"It’smilesfrommyclub,\"saidIdiscontentedly。