\"OnthemorningoftheninthdayIsawalittlepaperundermydoorasI
gotup.Iseizedit,openeditandread:’YouhavedesertedmeandyouknowwhatIsaid.Itisdeathtowhichyouhavecondemnedme.AsIdonotwishtobefoundbyanotherthanyou,cometotheparkjustwhereI
toldyoulastyearthatIlovedyouandlookintheair.’
\"IthoughtthatIshouldgomad.IdressedasquicklyasIcouldandranwildlytotheplacethathehadmentioned.Hislittlecapwasonthegroundinthemud.Ithadbeenrainingallnight.Iraisedmyeyesandsawsomethingswingingamongtheleaves,forthewindwasblowingagale.
\"Idon’tknowwhatIdidafterthat.Imusthavescreamedatfirst,thenfaintedandfallen,andfinallyhaveruntothechateau.ThenextthingthatIrememberIwasinbed,withmymothersittingbesideme.
\"IthoughtthatIhaddreamedallthisinafrightfulnightmare.
Istammered:’Andwhatofhim,whatofhim,Gontran?’Therewasnoanswer.Itwastrue!
\"Ididnotdareseehimagain,butIaskedforalockofhisblondhair.
Here——hereitis!\"
Andtheoldmaidstretchedouthertremblinghandinadespairinggesture.Thensheblewhernoseseveraltimes,wipedhereyesandcontinued:
\"Ibrokeoffmymarriage——withoutsayingwhy.AndI——Ialwayshaveremainedthe——thewidowofthisthirteen—year—oldboy.\"Thenherheadfellonherbreastandsheweptforalongtime.
Astheguestswereretiringforthenightalargeman,whosequietshehaddisturbed,whisperedinhisneighbor’sear:\"Isn’titunfortunateto,besosentimental?\"
THEENGLISHMANOFETRETAT
AgreatEnglishpoethasjustcrossedovertoFranceinordertogreetVictorHugo.Allthenewspapersarefullofhisnameandheisthegreattopicofconversationinalldrawing—rooms.FifteenyearsagoIhadoccasionseveraltimestomeetAlgernonCharlesSwinburne.IwillattempttoshowhimjustasIsawhimandtogiveanideaofthestrangeimpressionhemadeonme,whichwillremainwithmethroughouttime.
Ibelieveitwasin1867orin1868thatanunknownyoungEnglishmancametoEtretatandboughtalittlebuthiddenundergreattrees.Itwassaidthathelivedthere,alwaysalone,inastrangemanner;andhearousedtheinimicalsurpriseofthenatives,fortheinhabitantsweresullenandfoolishlymalicious,astheyalwaysareinlittletowns.
TheydeclaredthatthiswhimsicalEnglishmanatenothingbutboiled.
roastedorstewedmonkey;thathewouldseenoone;thathetalkedtohimselfhoursatatimeandmanyothersurprisingthingsthatmadepeoplethinkthathewasdifferentfromothermen.Theyweresurprisedthatheshouldlivealonewithamonkey.Haditbeenacatoradogtheywouldhavesaidnothing.Butamonkey!Wasthatnotfrightful?Whatsavagetastesthemanmusthave!
Iknewthisyoungmanonlyfromseeinghiminthestreets.Hewasshort,plump,withoutbeingfat,mild—looking,andheworealittleblondmustache,whichwasalmostinvisible.
Chancebroughtustogether.Thissavagehadamiableandpleasingmanners,buthewasoneofthosestrangeEnglishmenthatonemeetshereandtherethroughouttheworld.
Endowedwithremarkableintelligence,heseemedtoliveinafantasticdream,asEdgarPoemusthavelived.HehadtranslatedintoEnglishavolumeofstrangeIcelandiclegends,whichIardentlydesiredtoseetranslatedintoFrench.Helovedthesupernatural,thedismalandgrewsome,buthespokeofthemostmarvellousthingswithacalmnessthatwastypicallyEnglish,towhichhisgentleandquietvoicegaveasemblanceofrealitythatwasmaddening.
Fullofahaughtydisdainfortheworld,withitsconventions,prejudicesandcodeofmorality,hehadnailedtohishouseanamethatwasboldlyimpudent.Thekeeperofalonelyinnwhoshouldwriteonhisdoor:
\"Travellersmurderedhere!\"couldnotmakeamoresinisterjest.Ineverhadenteredhisdwelling,whenonedayIreceivedaninvitationtoluncheon,followinganaccidentthathadoccurredtooneofhisfriends,whohadbeenalmostdrownedandwhomIhadattemptedtorescue.
AlthoughIwasunabletoreachthemanuntilhehadalreadybeenrescued,IreceivedtheheartythanksofthetwoEnglishmen,andthefollowingdayIcalleduponthem.
Thefriendwasamanaboutthirtyyearsold.Heboreanenormousheadonachild’sbody——abodywithoutchestorshoulders.Animmenseforehead,whichseemedtohaveengulfedtherestoftheman,expandedlikeadomeaboveathinfacewhichendedinalittlepointedbeard.Twosharpeyesandapeculiarmouthgaveonetheimpressionoftheheadofareptile,whilethemagnificentbrowsuggestedagenius.
Anervoustwitchingshookthispeculiarbeing,whowalked,moved,actedbyjerkslikeabrokenspring.
ThiswasAlgernonCharlesSwinburne,sonofanEnglishadmiralandgrandson,onthematernalside,oftheEarlofAshburnham.
Hestrangecountenancewastransfiguredwhenhespoke.Ihaveseldomseenamanmoreimpressive,moreeloquent,incisiveorcharminginconversation.Hisrapid,clear,piercingandfantasticimaginationseemedtocreepintohisvoiceandtolendlifetohiswords.Hisbrusquegesturesenlivenedhisspeech,whichpenetratedonelikeadagger,andhehadburstsofthought,justaslighthousesthrowoutflashesoffire,great,geniallightsthatseemedtoilluminateawholeworldofideas.
Thehomeofthetwofriendswasprettyandbynomeanscommonplace.
Everywherewerepaintings,somesuperb,somestrange,representingdifferentconceptionsofinsanity.UnlessIammistaken,therewasawater—colorwhichrepresentedtheheadofadeadmanfloatinginarose—
coloredshellonaboundlessocean,underamoonwithahumanface.
HereandthereIcameacrossbones.Iclearlyrememberaflayedhandonwhichwashangingsomedriedskinandblackmuscles,andonthesnow—
whitebonescouldbeseenthetracesofdriedblood.
ThefoodwasariddlewhichIcouldnotsolve.Wasitgood?Wasitbad?
Icouldnotsay.Someroastmonkeytookawayalldesiretomakeasteadydietofthisanimal,andthegreatmonkeywhoroamedaboutamongusatlargeandplayfullypushedhisheadintomyglasswhenIwishedtodrinkcuredmeofanydesireImighthavetotakeoneofhisbrothersasacompanionfortherestofmydays.
Asforthetwomen,theygavemetheimpressionoftwostrange,original,remarkableminds,belongingtothatpeculiarraceoftalentedmadmenfromamongwhomhavearisenPoe,Hoffmannandmanyothers.
Ifgeniusis,asiscommonlybelieved,asortofaberrationofgreatminds,thenAlgernonCharlesSwinburneisundoubtedlyagenius.
Greatmindsthatarehealthyareneverconsideredgeniuses,whilethissublimequalificationislavishedonbrainsthatareofteninferiorbutareslightlytouchedbymadness.
Atanyrate,thispoetremainsoneofthefirstofhistime,throughhisoriginalityandpolishedform.Heisanexaltedlyricalsingerwhoseldombothersaboutthegoodandhumbletruth,whichFrenchpoetsarenowseekingsopersistentlyandpatiently.Hestrivestosetdowndreams,subtlethoughts,sometimesgreat,sometimesvisiblyforced,butsometimesmagnificent.
TwoyearslaterIfoundthehouseclosedanditstenantsgone.Thefurniturewasbeingsold.InmemoryofthemIboughtthehideousflayedhand.Onthegrassanenormoussquareblockofgraniteborethissimpleword:\"Nip.\"Abovethisahollowstoneofferedwatertothebirds.Itwasthegraveofthemonkey,whohadbeenhangedbyayoung,vindictivenegroservant.Itwassaidthatthisviolentdomestichadbeenforcedtofleeatthepointofhisexasperatedmaster’srevolver.Afterwanderingaboutwithouthomeorfoodforseveraldays,hereturnedandbegantopeddlebarley—sugarinthestreets.Hewasexpelledfromthecountryafterhehadalmoststrangledadispleasedcustomer.
Theworldwouldbegayerifonecouldoftenmeethomeslikethat.
Thisstoryappearedinthe\"Gaulois,\"November29,1882.ItwastheoriginalsketchfortheintroductorystudyofSwinburne,writtenbyMaupassantfortheFrenchtranslationbyGabrielMoureyof\"PoemsandBallads.\"
MAGNETISM
Itwasamen’sdinnerparty,andtheyweresittingovertheircigarsandbrandyanddiscussingmagnetism.Donato’stricksandCharcot’sexperiments.Presently,thesceptical,easy—goingmen,whocarednothingforreligionofanysort,begantellingstoriesofstrangeoccurrences,incrediblethingswhich,nevertheless,hadreallyoccurred,sotheysaid,fallingbackintosuperstitiousbeliefs,clingingtotheselastremnantsofthemarvellous,becomingdevoteesofthismysteryofmagnetism,defendingitinthenameofscience.Therewasonlyonepersonwhosmiled,avigorousyoungfellow,agreatladies’manwhowassoincredulousthathewouldnotevenenteruponadiscussionofsuchmatters.
Herepeatedwithasneer:
\"Humbug!humbug!humbug!WeneednotdiscussDonato,whoismerelyaverysmartjuggler.AsforM.Charcot,whoissaidtobearemarkablemanofscience,heproducesonmetheeffectofthosestory—tellersoftheschoolofEdgarPoe,whoendbygoingmadthroughconstantlyreflectingonqueercasesofinsanity.Hehasauthenticatedsomecasesofunexplainedandinexplicablenervousphenomena;hemakeshiswayintothatunknownregionwhichmenareexploringeveryday,andunablealwaystounderstandwhathesees,herecalls,perhaps,theecclesiasticalinterpretationofthesemysteries.Ishouldliketohearwhathesayshimself.\"
Thewordsoftheunbelieverwerelistenedtowithakindofpity,asifhehadblasphemedinanassemblyofmonks.
Oneofthesegentlemenexclaimed:
\"Andyetmiracleswereperformedinoldentimes.\"
\"Idenyit,\"repliedtheother:\"Whycannottheybeperformednow?\"
Then,eachmentionedsomefact,somefantasticpresentimentsomeinstanceofsoulscommunicatingwitheachotheracrossspace,orsomecaseofthesecretinfluenceofonebeingoveranother.Theyassertedandmaintainedthatthesethingshadactuallyoccurred,whilethescepticangrilyrepeated:
\"Humbug!humbug!humbug!\"
Atlastherose,threwawayhiscigar,andwithhishandsinhispockets,said:\"Well,Ialsohavetwostoriestotellyou,whichIwillafterwardsexplain.Heretheyare:
\"InthelittlevillageofEtretat,themen,whoareallseafaringfolk,goeveryyeartoNewfoundlandtofishforcod.Onenightthelittlesonofoneofthesefishermenwokeupwithastart,cryingoutthathisfatherwasdead.Thechildwasquieted,andagainhewokeupexclaimingthathisfatherwasdrowned.Amonthlaterthenewscamethathisfatherhad,infact,beensweptoffthedeckofhissmackbyabillow.Thewidowthenrememberedhowhersonhadwokeupandspokenofhisfather’sdeath.Everyonesaiditwasamiracle,andtheaffaircausedagreatsensation.Thedateswerecompared,anditwasfoundthattheaccidentandthedreamwerealmostcoincident,whencetheyconcludedthattheyhadhappenedonthesamenightandatthesamehour.Andthereisamysteryofmagnetism.\"
Thestory—tellerstoppedsuddenly.
Thereupon,oneofthosewhohadheardhim,muchaffectedbythenarrative,asked:
\"Andcanyouexplainthis?\"
\"Perfectly,monsieur.Ihavediscoveredthesecret.Thecircumstancesurprisedmeandevenperplexedmeverymuch;butyousee,Idonotbelieveonprinciple.Justasothersbeginbybelieving,Ibeginbydoubting;andwhenIcannotunderstand,Icontinuetodenythattherecanbeanytelepathiccommunicationbetweensouls;certainthatmyownintelligencewillbeabletoexplainit.Well,Ikeptoninquiringintothematter,andbydintofquestioningallthewivesoftheabsentseamen,Iwasconvincedthatnotaweekpassedwithoutoneofthem,oroneoftheirchildrendreaminganddeclaringwhentheywokeupthatthefatherwasdrowned.Thehorribleandcontinualfearofthisaccidentmakesthemalwaystalkaboutit.Now,ifoneofthesefrequentpredictionscoincides,byaverysimplechance,withthedeathofthepersonreferredto,peopleatoncedeclareittobeamiracle;fortheysuddenlylosesightofalltheotherpredictionsofmisfortunethathaveremainedunfulfilled.Ihavemyselfknownfiftycaseswherethepersonswhomadethepredictionforgotallaboutitaweekafterwards.But,if,thenonehappenstodie,thentherecollectionofthethingisimmediatelyrevived,andpeoplearereadytobelieveintheinterventionofGod,accordingtosome,andmagnetism,accordingtoothers.\"
Oneofthesmokersremarked:
\"Whatyousayisrightenough;butwhataboutyoursecondstory?\"
\"Oh!mysecondstoryisaverydelicatemattertorelate.Ithappenedtomyself,andsoIdon’tplaceanygreatvalueonmyownviewofthematter.Aninterestedpartycannevergiveanimpartialopinion.
However,hereitis:
\"AmongmyacquaintanceswasayoungwomanonwhomIhadneverbestowedathought,whomIhadneverevenlookedatattentively,nevertakenanynoticeof.
\"Iclassedheramongthewomenofnoimportance,thoughshewasnotbad—
looking;sheappeared,infact,topossesseyes,anose,amouth,somesortofhair——justacolorlesstypeofcountenance.Shewasoneofthosebeingswhoawakenonlyachance,passingthought,butnospecialinterest,nodesire.
\"Well,onenight,asIwaswritingsomelettersbymyfiresidebeforegoingtobed,Iwasconscious,inthemidstofthattrainofsensuousvisionsthatsometimespassthroughone’sbraininmomentsofidlereverie,ofakindofslightinfluence,passingoverme,alittleflutteroftheheart,andimmediately,withoutanycause,withoutanylogicalconnectionofthought,Isawdistinctly,asifIweretouchingher,sawfromheadtofoot,anddisrobed,thisyoungwomantowhomIhadnevergivenmorethatthreeseconds’thoughtatatime.IsuddenlydiscoveredinheranumberofqualitieswhichIhadneverbeforeobserved,asweetcharm,alanguorousfascination;sheawakenedinmethatsortofrestlessemotionthatcausesonetopursueawoman.ButIdidnotthinkofherlong.Iwenttobedandwassoonasleep.AndIdreamed.
\"Youhaveallhadthesestrangedreamswhichmakeyouovercometheimpossible,whichopentoyoudouble—lockeddoors,unexpectedjoys,tightlyfoldedarms?
\"Whichofusinthesetroubled,excising,breathlessslumbers,hasnotheld,clasped,embracedwithrapture,thewomanwhooccupiedhisthoughts?Andhaveyouevernoticedwhatsuperhumandelightthesehappydreamsgiveus?Intowhatmadintoxicationtheycastyou!withwhatpassionatespasmstheyshakeyou!andwithwhatinfinite,caressing,penetratingtendernesstheyfillyourheartforherwhomyouholdclaspedinyourarmsinthatadorableillusionthatissolikereality!
\"AllthisIfeltwithunforgettableviolence.Thiswomanwasmine,somuchminethatthepleasantwarmthofherskinremainedinmyfingers,theodorofherskin,inmybrain,thetasteofherkisses,onmylips,thesoundofhervoicelingeredinmyears,thetouchofherclaspstillclungtome,andtheburningcharmofhertendernessstillgratifiedmysenseslongafterthedelightbutdisillusionofmyawakening.
\"AndthreetimesthatnightIhadthesamedream.
\"Whenthedaydawnedshehauntedme,possessedme,filledmysensestosuchanextentthatIwasnotonesecondwithoutthinkingofher.
\"Atlast,notknowingwhattodo,Idressedmyselfandwenttocallonher.AsIwentupstairstoherapartment,IwassoovercomebyemotionthatItrembled,andmyheartbeatrapidly.
\"Ienteredtheapartment.Sherosethemomentsheheardmynamementioned;andsuddenlyoureyesmetinapeculiarfixedgaze.
\"Isatdown.Istammeredoutsomecommonplaceswhichsheseemednottohear.Ididnotknowwhattosayordo.Then,abruptly,claspingmyarmsroundher,mydreamwasrealizedsosuddenlythatIbegantodoubtwhetherIwasreallyawake.Wewerefriendsafterthisfortwoyears.\"
\"Whatconclusiondoyoudrawfromit?\"saidavoice.
Thestory—tellerseemedtohesitate.
\"TheconclusionIdrawfromit——well,byJove,theconclusionisthatitwasjustacoincidence!Andthen——whocantell?PerhapsitwassomeglanceofherswhichIhadnotnoticedandwhichcamebackthatnighttomethroughoneofthosemysteriousandunconscious——recollectionsthatoftenbringbeforeusthingsignoredbyourownconsciousness,unperceivedbyourminds!\"
\"Callitwhateveryoulike,\"saidoneofhistablecompanions,whenthestorywasfinished;\"butifyoudon’tbelieveinmagnetismafterthat,mydearboy,youareanungratefulfellow!\"
AFATHER’SCONFESSION
AllVeziers—le—RethelhadfollowedthefuneralprocessionofM.Badon—
Leremincetothegrave,andthelastwordsofthefuneralorationpronouncedbythedelegateofthedistrictremainedinthemindsofall:
\"Hewasanhonestman,atleast!\"
Anhonestmanhehadbeeninalltheknownactsofhislife,inhiswords,inhisexamples,hisattitude,hisbehavior,hisenterprises,inthecutofhisbeardandtheshapeofhishats.Heneverhadsaidawordthatdidnotsetanexample,neverhadgivenanalmswithoutaddingawordofadvice,neverhadextendedhishandwithoutappearingtobestowabenediction.
Helefttwochildren,aboyandagirl.Hissonwascounselorgeneral,andhisdaughter,havingmarriedalawyer,M.PoireldelaVoulte,movedinthebestsocietyofVeziers.
Theywereinconsolableatthedeathoftheirfather,fortheylovedhimsincerely.
Assoonastheceremonywasover,theson,daughterandson—in—lawreturnedtothehouseofmourning,and,shuttingthemselvesinthelibrary,theyopenedthewill,thesealsofwhichweretobebrokenbythemaloneandonlyafterthecoffinhadbeenplacedintheground.
Thiswishwasexpressedbyanoticeontheenvelope.
M.PoireldelaVoultetoreopentheenvelope,inhischaracterofalawyerusedtosuchoperations,andhavingadjustedhisspectacles,hereadinamonotonousvoice,madeforreadingthedetailsofcontracts:
Mychildren,mydearchildren,IcouldnotsleeptheeternalsleepinpeaceifIdidnotmaketoyoufromthetombaconfession,theconfessionofacrime,remorseforwhichhasruinedmylife.Yes,Icommittedacrime,afrightful,abominablecrime.
Iwastwenty—sixyearsold,andIhadjustbeencalledtothebarinParis,andwaslivingthelifeoffyoungmenfromtheprovinceswhoarestrandedinthistownwithoutacquaintances,relatives,orfriends.
Itookasweetheart.Therearebeingswhocannotlivealone.Iwasoneofthose.Solitudefillsmewithhorribleanguish,thesolitudeofmyroombesidemyfireintheevening.IfeelthenasifIwerealoneonearth,alone,butsurroundedbyvaguedangers,unknownandterriblethings;andthepartitionthatseparatesmefrommyneighbor,myneighborwhomIdonotknow,keepsmeatasgreatadistancefromhimasthestarsthatIseethroughmywindow.Asortoffeverpervadesme,afeverofimpatienceandoffear,andthesilenceofthewallsterrifiesme.ThesilenceofaroomwhereonelivesaloneissointenseandsomelancholyItisnotonlyasilenceofthemind;whenapieceoffurniturecracksashuddergoesthroughyouforyouexpectnonoiseinthismelancholyabode.
Howmanytimes,nervousandtimidfromthismotionlesssilence,I
havebeguntotalk,torepeatwordswithoutrhymeorreason,onlytomakesomesound.MyvoiceatthosetimessoundssostrangethatI
amafraidofthat,too.Isthereanythingmoredreadfulthantalkingtoone’sselfinanemptyhouse?One’svoicesoundslikethatofanother,anunknownvoicetalkingaimlessly,tonoone,intotheemptyair,withnoeartolistentoit,foroneknowsbeforetheyescapeintothesolitudeoftheroomexactlywhatwordswillbeuttered.Andwhentheyresoundlugubriouslyinthesilence,theyseemnomorethananecho,thepeculiarechoofwordswhisperedbyonesthought.
MysweetheartwasayounggirllikeotheryounggirlswholiveinParisonwagesthatareinsufficienttokeepthem.Shewasgentle,good,simple.HerparentslivedatPoissy.Shewenttospendseveraldayswiththemfromtimetotime.
ForayearIlivedquietlywithher,fullydecidedtoleaveherwhenIshouldfindsomeonewhomIlikedwellenoughtomarry.Iwouldmakealittleprovisionforthisone,foritisanunderstoodthinginoursocialsetthatawoman’sloveshouldbepaidfor,inmoneyifsheispoor,inpresentsifsheisrich.
Butonedayshetoldmeshewasenceinte.Iwasthunderstruck,andsawinasecondthatmylifewouldberuined.IsawthefetterthatIshouldwearuntilmydeath,everywhere,inmyfuturefamilylife,inmyoldage,forever;thefetterofawomanboundtomylifethroughachild;thefetterofthechildwhomImustbringup,watchover,protect,whilekeepingmyselfunknowntohim,andkeepinghimhiddenfromtheworld.
Iwasgreatlydisturbedatthisnews,andaconfusedlonging,acriminaldesire,surgedthroughmymind;Ididnotformulateit,butIfeltitinmyheart,readytocometothesurface,asifsomeonehiddenbehindaportiereshouldawaitthesignaltocomeout.Ifsomeaccidentmightonlyhappen!Somanyoftheselittlebeingsdiebeforetheyareborn!
Oh!Ididnotwishmysweethearttodie!Thepoorgirl,Ilovedherverymuch!ButIwished,possibly,thatthechildmightdiebeforeIsawit.
Hewasborn.Isetuphousekeepinginmylittlebachelorapartment,animitationhome,withahorriblechild.Helookedlikeallchildren;Ididnotcareforhim.Fathers,yousee,donotshowaffectionuntillater.Theyhavenottheinstinctiveandpassionatetendernessofmothers;theiraffectionhastobeawakenedgradually,theirmindmustbecomeattachedbybondsformedeachdaybetweenbeingsthatliveineachother’ssociety.
Ayearpassed.Inowavoidedmyhome,whichwastoosmall,wheresoiledlinen,baby—clothesandstockingsthesizeofgloveswerelyinground,whereathousandarticlesofalldescriptionslayonthefurniture,onthearmofaneasy—chair,everywhere.IwentoutchieflythatImightnothearthechildcry,forhecriedontheslightestpretext,whenhewasbathed,whenhewastouched,whenhewasputtobed,whenhewastakenupinthemorning,incessantly.
Ihadmadeafewacquaintances,andImetatareceptionthewomanwhowastobeyourmother.Ifellinlovewithherandbecamedesiroustomarryher.Icourtedher;Iaskedherparents’consenttoourmarriageanditwasgranted.
Ifoundmyselfinthisdilemma:ImusteithermarrythisyounggirlwhomIadored,havingachildalready,orelsetellthetruthandrenounceher,andhappiness,myfuture,everything;forherparents,whowerepeopleofrigidprinciples,wouldnotgivehertomeiftheyknew.
Ipassedamonthofhorribleanguish,ofmortaltorture,amonthhauntedbyathousandfrightfulthoughts;andIfeltdevelopinginmeahatredtowardmyson,towardthatlittlemorselofliving,screamingflesh,whoblockedmypath,interruptedmylife,condemnedmetoanexistencewithouthope,withoutallthosevagueexpectationsthatmakethecharmofyouth.
Butjustthenmycompanion’smotherbecameill,andIwasleftalonewiththechild.
ItwasinDecember,andtheweatherwasterriblycold.Whatanight!
Mycompanionhadjustleft.Ihaddinedaloneinmylittledining—
roomandIwentgentlyintotheroomwherethelittleonewasasleep.
Isatdowninanarmchairbeforethefire.Thewindwasblowing,makingthewindowsrattle,adry,frostywind;andIsawtroughthewindowthestarsshiningwiththatpiercingbrightnessthattheyhaveonfrostynights.
Thentheideathathadobsessedmeforamonthroseagaintothesurface.AssoonasIwasquietitcametomeandharassedme.Itateintomymindlikeafixedidea,justascancersmusteatintotheflesh.Itwasthere,inmyhead,inmyheart,inmywholebody,itseemedtome;anditswallowedmeupasawildbeastmighthave.
Iendeavoredtodriveitaway,torepulseit,toopenmymindtootherthoughts,asoneopensawindowtothefreshmorningbreezetodriveoutthevitiatedair;butIcouldnotdriveitfrommybrain,notevenforasecond.Idonotknowhowtoexpressthistorture.
Itgnawedatmysoul,andIfeltafrightfulpain,arealphysicalandmoralpain.
Mylifewasruined!HowcouldIescapefromthissituation?HowcouldIdrawback,andhowcouldIconfess?
AndIlovedtheonewhowastobecomeyourmotherwithamadpassion,whichthisinsurmountableobstacleonlyaggravated.
Aterribleragewastakingpossessionofme,chokingme,aragethatvergedonmadness!SurelyIwascrazythatevening!
Thechildwassleeping.Igotupandlookedatitasitslept.Itwashe,thisabortion,thisspawn,thisnothing,thatcondemnedmetoirremediableunhappiness!
Hewasasleep,hismouthopen,wrappedinhisbed—clothesinacribbesidemybed,whereIcouldnotsleep.
HowdidIeverdowhatIdid?HowdoIknow?Whatforceurgedmeon?Whatmalevolentpowertookpossessionofme?Oh!thetemptationtocrimecametomewithoutanyforewarning.AllI
recallisthatmyheartbeattumultuously.ItbeatsohardthatI
couldhearit,asonehearsthestrokesofahammerbehindapartition.ThatisallIcanrecall——thebeatingofmyheart!
Inmyheadtherewasastrangeconfusion,atumult,asenselessdisorder,alackofpresenceofmind.Itwasoneofthosehoursofbewildermentandhallucinationwhenamanisneitherconsciousofhisactionsnorabletoguidehiswill.
Igentlyraisedthecoveringsfromthebodyofthechild;Iturnedthemdowntothefootofthecrib,andhelaythereuncoveredandnaked.
Hedidnotwake.ThenIwenttowardthewindow,softly,quitesoftly,andIopenedit.
Abreathoficyairglidedinlikeanassassin;itwassocoldthatIdrewaside,andthetwocandlesflickered.Iremainedstandingnearthewindow,notdaringtoturnround,asifforfearofseeingwhatwasdoingonbehindme,andfeelingtheicyaircontinuallyacrossmyforehead,mycheeks,myhands,thedeadlyairwhichkeptstreamingin.Istoodtherealongtime.
Iwasnotthinking,Iwasnotreflecting.Allatoncealittlecoughcausedmetoshudderfrightfullyfromheadtofoot,ashudderthatIfeelstilltotherootsofmyhair.AndwithafranticmovementIabruptlyclosedbothsidesofthewindowand,turninground,ranovertothecrib.
Hewasstillasleep,hismouthopen,quitenaked.Itouchedhislegs;theywereicycoldandIcoveredthemup.
Myheartwassuddenlytouched,grieved,filledwithpity,tenderness,loveforthispoorinnocentbeingthatIhadwishedtokill.Ikissedhisfine,softhairlongandtenderly;thenIwentandsatdownbeforethefire.
IreflectedwithamazementwithhorroronwhatIhaddone,askingmyselfwhencecomethosetempestsofthesoulinwhichamanlosesallperspectiveofthings,allcommandoverhimselfandactsasinaconditionofmadintoxication,notknowingwhitherheisgoing——likeavesselinahurricane.
Thechildcoughedagain,anditgavemyheartawrench.Supposeitshoulddie!OGod!OGod!Whatwouldbecomeofme?
Irosefrommychairtogoandlookathim,andwithacandleinmyhandIleanedoverhim.SeeinghimbreathingquietlyIfeltreassured,whenhecoughedathirdtime.ItgavemesuchashocktatIstartedbackward,justasonedoesatsightofsomethinghorrible,andletmycandlefall.
AsIstooderectafterpickingitup,Inoticedthatmytempleswerebathedinperspiration,thatcoldsweatwhichistheresultofanguishofsoul.AndIremaineduntildaylightbendingovermyson,becomingcalmwhenheremainedquietforsometime,andfilledwithatrociouspainwhenaweakcoughcamefromhismouth.
Heawokewithhiseyesred,histhroatchoked,andwithanairofsuffering.
WhenthewomancameintoarrangemyroomIsentheratonceforadoctor.Hecameattheendofanhour,andsaid,afterexaminingthechild:
\"Didhenotcatchcold?\"
Ibegantotremblelikeapersonwithpalsy,andIfaltered:
\"No,Idonotthinkso.\"
AndthenIsaid:
\"Whatisthematter?Isitserious?\"
\"Idonotknowyet,\"hereplied.\"Iwillcomeagainthisevening.\"
Hecamethatevening.Mysonhadremainedalmostalldayinaconditionofdrowsiness,coughingfromtimetotime.Duringthenightinflammationofthelungssetin.
Thatlastedtendays.IcannotexpresswhatIsufferedinthoseinterminablehoursthatdividemorningfromnight,rightfrommorning.
Hedied.
Andsince——sincethatmoment,Ihavenotpassedonehour,notasinglehour,withoutthefrightfulburningrecollection,agnawingrecollection,amemorythatseemstowringmyheart,awakinginmelikeasavagebeastimprisonedinthedepthofmysoul.
Oh!ifIcouldhavegonemad!
M.PoireldelaVoulteraisedhisspectacleswithamotionthatwaspeculiartohimwheneverhefinishedreadingacontract;andthethreeheirsofthedefunctlookedatoneanotherwithoutspeaking,paleandmotionless.
Attheendofaminutethelawyerresumed:
\"Thatmustbedestroyed.\"
Theothertwobenttheirheadsinsignofassent.Helightedacandle,carefullyseparatedthepagescontainingthedamagingconfessionfromthoserelatingtothedispositionofmoney,thenheheldthemoverthecandleandthrewthemintothefireplace.
Andtheywatchedthewhitesheetsastheyburned,tilltheywerepresentlyreducedtolittlecrumblingblackheaps.Andassomewordswerestillvisibleinwhitetracing,thedaughter,withlittlestrokesofthetoeofhershoe,crushedtheburningpaper,mixingitwiththeoldashesinthefireplace.
Thenallthreestoodtherewatchingitforsometime,asiftheyfearedthatthedestroyedsecretmightescapefromthefireplace.
AMOTHEROFMONSTERS
Irecalledthishorriblestory,theeventsofwhichoccurredlongago,andthishorriblewoman,theotherdayatafashionableseasideresort,whereIsawonthebeachawell—knownyoung,elegantandcharmingParisienne,adoredandrespectedbyeveryone.
Ihadbeeninvitedbyafriendtopayhimavisitinalittleprovincialtown.Hetookmeaboutinalldirectionstodothehonorsoftheplace,showedmenotedscenes,chateaux,industries,ruins.Hepointedoutmonuments,churches,oldcarveddoorways,enormousordistortedtrees,theoakofSt.Andrew,andtheyewtreeofRoqueboise.
WhenIhadexhaustedmyadmirationandenthusiasmoverallthesights,myfriendsaidwithadistressedexpressiononhisface,thattherewasnothinglefttolookat.Ibreathedfreely.Iwouldnowbeabletorestundertheshadeofthetrees.But,allatonce,heutteredanexclamation:
\"Oh,yes!Wehavethe’MotherofMonsters’;Imusttakeyoutoseeher.\"
\"Whoisthat,the’MotherofMonsters’?\"Iasked.
\"Sheisanabominablewoman,\"hereplied,\"aregulardemon,abeingwhovoluntarilybringsintotheworlddeformed,hideous,frightfulchildren,monstrosities,infact,andthensellsthemtoshowmenwhoexhibitsuchthings.
\"Theseexploitersoffreakscomefromtimetotimetofindoutifshehasanyfreshmonstrosity,andifitmeetswiththeirapprovaltheycarryitawaywiththem,payingthemotheracompensation.
\"Shehaselevenofthisdescription.Sheisrich.
\"YouthinkIamjoking,romancing,exaggerating.No,myfriend;Iamtellingyouthetruth,theexacttruth.
\"Letusgoandseethiswoman.ThenIwilltellyouherhistory.\"
Hetookmeintooneofthesuburbs.Thewomanlivedinaprettylittlehousebythesideoftheroad.Itwasattractiveandwellkept.Thegardenwasfilledwithfragrantflowers.Onemighthavesupposedittobetheresidenceofaretiredlawyer.
Amaidusheredusintoasortoflittlecountryparlor,andthewretchappeared.Shewasaboutforty.Shewasatall,bigwomanwithhardfeatures,butwellformed,vigorousandhealthy,thetruetypeofarobustpeasantwoman,halfanimal,andhalfwoman.
Shewasawareofherreputationandreceivedeveryonewithahumilitythatsmackedofhatred.
\"Whatdothegentlemenwish?\"sheasked.
\"Theytellmethatyourlastchildisjustlikeanordinarychild,thathedoesnotresemblehisbrothersatall,\"repliedmyfriend.\"Iwantedtobesureofthat.Isittrue?\"
Shecastonusamaliciousandfuriouslookasshesaid:
\"Oh,no,oh,no,mypoorsir!Heisperhapsevenuglierthantherest.
Ihavenoluck,noluck!
Theyarealllikethat,itisheartbreaking!HowcanthegoodGodbesohardonapoorwomanwhoisallaloneintheworld,howcanHe?\"
Shespokehurriedly,hereyescastdown,withadeprecatingairasofawildbeastwhoisafraid.Herharshvoicebecamesoft,anditseemedstrangetohearthosetearfulfalsettotonesissuingfromthatbig,bonyframe,ofunusualstrengthandwithcoarseoutlines,whichseemedfittedforviolentaction,andmadetoutterhowlslikeawolf.
\"Weshouldliketoseeyourlittleone,\"saidmyfriend.
Ifanciedshecoloredup.Imayhavebeendeceived.Afterafewmomentsofsilence,shesaidinaloudertone:
\"Whatgoodwillthatdoyou?\"
\"Whydoyounotwishtoshowittous?\"repliedmyfriend.\"Therearemanypeopletowhomyouwillshowit;youknowwhomImean.\"
Shegaveastart,andresuminghernaturalvoice,andgivingfreeplaytoheranger,shescreamed:
\"Wasthatwhyyoucamehere?Toinsultme?Becausemychildrenarelikeanimals,tellme?Youshallnotseehim,no,no,youshallnotseehim!
Goaway,goaway!Idonotknowwhyyoualltrytotormentmelikethat.\"
Shewalkedovertowardus,herhandsonherhips.Atthebrutaltoneofhervoice,asortofmoaning,orratheramewing,thelamentablecryofanidiot,camefromtheadjoiningroom.Ishiveredtothemarrowofmybones.Weretreatedbeforeher.
\"Takecare,Devil\"(theycalledhertheDevil);saidmyfriend,\"takecare;somedayyouwillgetyourselfintotroublethroughthis.\"
Shebegantotremble,besideherselfwithfury,shakingherfistandroaring:
\"Beoffwithyou!Whatwillgetmeintotrouble?Beoffwithyou,miscreants!\"
Shewasabouttoattackus,butwefled,saddenedatwhatwehadseen.
Whenwegotoutside,myfriendsaid:
\"Well,youhaveseenher,whatdoyouthinkofher?\"
\"Tellmethestoryofthisbrute,\"Ireplied.
Andthisiswhathetoldmeaswewalkedalongthewhitehighroad,withripecropsoneithersideofitwhichrippledliketheseainthelightbreezethatpassedoverthem.
\"Thiswomanwasoneaservantonafarm.Shewasanhonestgirl,steadyandeconomical.Shewasneverknowntohaveanadmirer,andneversuspectedofanyfrailty.Butshewentastray,assomanydo.
\"Shesoonfoundherselfintrouble,andwastorturedwithfearandshame.
Wishingtoconcealhermisfortune,sheboundherbodytightlywithacorsetofherowninvention,madeofboardsandcord.Themoreshedeveloped,themoresheboundherselfwiththisinstrumentoftorture,sufferingmartyrdom,butbraveinhersorrow,notallowinganyonetosee,orsuspect,anything.Shemaimedthelittleunbornbeing,crampingitwiththatfrightfulcorset,andmadeamonsterofit.Itsheadwassqueezedandelongatedtoapoint,anditslargeeyesseemedpoppingoutofitshead.Itslimbs,exaggeratedlylong,andtwistedlikethestalkofavine,terminatedinfingersliketheclawsofaspider.Itstrunkwastiny,androundasanut.
\"Thechildwasborninanopenfield,andwhentheweederssawit,theyfledaway,screaming,andthereportspreadthatshehadgivenbirthtoademon.Fromthattimeon,shewascalled’theDevil.’
\"Shewasdrivenfromthefarm,andlivedoncharity,underacloud.Shebroughtupthemonster,whomshehatedwithasavagehatred,andwouldhavestrangled,perhaps,ifthepriesthadnotthreatenedherwitharrest.
\"Onedaysometravellingshowmenheardaboutthefrightfulcreature,andaskedtoseeit,sothatifitpleasedthemtheymighttakeitaway.
Theywerepleased,andcountedoutfivehundredfrancstothemother.
Atfirst,shehadrefusedtoletthemseethelittleanimal,asshewasashamed;butwhenshediscoveredithadamoneyvalue,andthatthesepeoplewereanxioustogetit,shebegantohagglewiththem,raisingherpricewithallapeasant’spersistence.
\"Shemadethemdrawupapaper,inwhichtheypromisedtopayherfourhundredfrancsayearbesides,asthoughtheyhadtakenthisdeformityintotheiremploy.
\"Incitedbythegreedofgain,shecontinuedtoproducethesephenomena,soastohaveanassuredincomelikeabourgeoise.
\"Someofthemwerelong,someshort,somelikecrabs—allbodies—otherslikelizards.Severaldied,andshewasheartbroken.
\"Thelawtriedtointerfere,butastheyhadnoprooftheylethercontinuetoproduceherfreaks.
Shehasatthismomentelevenalive,andtheybringin,onanaverage,countinggoodandbadyears,fromfivetosixthousandfrancsayear.
One,alone,isnotplaced,theoneshewasunwillingtoshowus.Butshewillnotkeepitlong,forsheisknowntoalltheshowmenintheworld,whocomefromtimetotimetoseeifshehasanythingnew.
\"Sheevengetsbidsfromthemwhenthemonsterisvaluable.\"
Myfriendwassilent.Aprofounddisguststirredmyheart,andafeelingofrage,ofregret,tothinkthatIhadnotstrangledthisbrutewhenI
hadtheopportunity.
Ihadforgottenthisstory,whenIsawonthebeachofafashionableresorttheotherday,anelegant,charming,daintywoman,surroundedbymenwhopaidherrespectaswellasadmiration.
Iwaswalkingalongthebeach,arminarmwithafriend,theresidentphysician.Tenminuteslater,Isawanursemaidwiththreechildren,whowererollinginthesand.Apairoflittlecrutcheslayontheground,andtouchedmysympathy.Ithennoticedthatthesethreechildrenwerealldeformed,humpbacked,orcrooked;andhideous.
\"Thosearetheoffspringofthatcharmingwomanyousawjustnow,\"saidthedoctor.
Iwasfilledwithpityforher,aswellasforthem,andexclaimed:
\"Oh,thepoormother!Howcansheeverlaugh!\"
\"Donotpityher,myfriend.Pitythepoorchildren,\"repliedthedoctor.\"Thisistheconsequenceofpreservingaslenderfigureuptothelast.Theselittledeformitiesweremadebythecorset.Sheknowsverywellthatsheisriskingherlifeatthisgame.Butwhatdoesshecare,aslongasliecanbebeautifulandhaveadmirers!\"
AndthenIrecalledthatotherwoman,thepeasant,the\"Devil,\"whosoldherchildren,hermonsters.
ANUNCOMFORTABLEBED
OneautumnIwenttospendthehuntingseasonwithsomefriendsinachateauinPicardy.
Myfriendswerefondofpracticaljokes.Idonotcaretoknowpeoplewhoarenot.
WhenIarrived,theygavemeaprincelyreception,whichatonceawakenedsuspicioninmymind.Theyfiredoffrifles,embracedme,mademuchofme,asiftheyexpectedtohavegreatfunatmyexpense.
Isaidtomyself:
\"Lookout,oldferret!Theyhavesomethinginstoreforyou.\"
Duringthedinnerthemirthwasexcessive,exaggerated,infact.
Ithought:\"Herearepeoplewhohavemorethantheirshareofamusement,andapparentlywithoutreason.Theymusthaveplannedsomegoodjoke.
AssuredlyIamtobethevictimofthejoke.Attention!\"
Duringtheentireeveningeveryonelaughedinanexaggeratedfashion.
Iscentedapracticaljokeintheair,asadogscentsgame.Butwhatwasit?Iwaswatchful,restless.Ididnotletaword,orameaning,oragestureescapeme.Everyoneseemedtomeanobjectofsuspicion,andIevenlookeddistrustfullyatthefacesoftheservants.
Thehourstruckforretiring;andthewholehouseholdcametoescortmetomyroom.Why?
Theycalledtome:\"Good—night.\"Ienteredtheapartment,shutthedoor,andremainedstanding,withoutmovingasinglestep,holdingthewaxcandleinmyhand.
Iheardlaughterandwhisperinginthecorridor.Withoutdoubttheywerespyingonme.Icastaglanceroundthewalls,thefurniture,theceiling,thehangings,thefloor.Isawnothingtojustifysuspicion.
Iheardpersonsmovingaboutoutsidemydoor.Ihadnodoubttheywerelookingthroughthekeyhole.
Anideacameintomyhead:\"Mycandlemaysuddenlygooutandleavemeindarkness.\"
ThenIwentacrosstothemantelpieceandlightedallthewaxcandlesthatwereonit.AfterthatIcastanotherglancearoundmewithoutdiscoveringanything.Iadvancedwithshortsteps,carefullyexaminingtheapartment.Nothing.Iinspectedeveryarticle,oneaftertheother.
Stillnothing.Iwentovertothewindow.Theshutters,largewoodenshutters,wereopen.Ishutthemwithgreatcare,andthendrewthecurtains,enormousvelvetcurtains,andplacedachairinfrontofthem,soastohavenothingtofearfromoutside.
ThenIcautiouslysatdown.Thearmchairwassolid.Ididnotventuretogetintothebed.However,thenightwasadvancing;andIendedbycomingtotheconclusionthatIwasfoolish.Iftheywerespyingonme,asIsupposed,theymust,whilewaitingforthesuccessofthejoketheyhadbeenpreparingforme,havebeenlaughingimmoderatelyatmyterror.
SoImadeupmymindtogotobed.Butthebedwasparticularlysuspicious—looking.Ipulledatthecurtains.Theyseemedtobesecure.
Allthesame,therewasdanger.Iwasgoingperhapstoreceiveacoldshowerbothfromoverhead,orperhaps,themomentIstretchedmyselfout,tofindmyselfsinkingtothefloorwithmymattress.IsearchedinmymemoryforallthepracticaljokesofwhichIeverhadexperience.AndI
didnotwanttobecaught.Ah!certainlynot!certainlynot!ThenI
suddenlybethoughtmyselfofaprecautionwhichIconsideredinsuredsafety.Icaughtholdofthesideofthemattressgingerly,andveryslowlydrewittowardme.Itcameaway,followedbythesheetandtherestofthebedclothes.Idraggedalltheseobjectsintotheverymiddleoftheroom,facingtheentrancedoor.ImademybedoveragainasbestIcouldatsomedistancefromthesuspectedbedsteadandthecornerwhichhadfilledmewithsuchanxiety.ThenIextinguishedallthecandles,and,gropingmyway,Islippedunderthebedclothes.
ForatleastanotherhourIremainedawake,startingattheslightestsound.Everythingseemedquietinthechateau.Ifellasleep.
Imusthavebeeninadeepsleepforalongtime,butallofasuddenI
wasawakenedwithastartbythefallofaheavybodytumblingrightontopofmyown,and,atthesametime,Ireceivedonmyface,onmyneck,andonmychestaburningliquidwhichmademeutterahowlofpain.Andadreadfulnoise,asifasideboardladenwithplatesanddisheshadfallendown,almostdeafenedme.
Iwassmotheringbeneaththeweightthatwascrushingmeandpreventingmefrommoving.Istretchedoutmyhandtofindoutwhatwasthenatureofthisobject.Ifeltaface,anose,andwhiskers.Then,withallmystrength,Ilaunchedoutablowatthisface.ButIimmediatelyreceivedahailofcuffingswhichmademejumpstraightoutofthesoakedsheets,andrushinmynightshirtintothecorridor,thedoorofwhichIfoundopen.
Oh,heavens!itwasbroaddaylight.Thenoisebroughtmyfriendshurryingintomyapartment,andwefound,sprawlingovermyimprovisedbed,thedismayedvalet,who,whilebringingmemymorningcupoftea,hadtrippedoverthisobstacleinthemiddleofthefloorandfallenonhisstomach,spillingmybreakfastovermyfaceinspiteofhimself.
TheprecautionsIhadtakeninclosingtheshuttersandgoingtosleepinthemiddleoftheroomhadonlybroughtaboutthepracticaljokeIhadbeentryingtoavoid.
Oh,howtheyalllaughedthatday!
APORTRAIT
Hello!there’sMilial!\"saidsomebodynearme.IlookedatthemanwhohadbeenpointedoutasIhadbeenwishingforalongtimetomeetthisDonJuan.
Hewasnolongeryoung.HisgrayhairlookedalittlelikethosefurbonnetswornbycertainNorthernpeoples,andhislongbeard,whichfelldownoverhischest,hadalsosomewhattheappearanceoffur.Hewastalkingtoalady,leaningtowardher,speakinginalowvoiceandlookingatherwithanexpressionfullofrespectandtenderness.
Iknewhislife,oratleastasmuchaswasknownofit.Hehadlovedmadlyseveraltimes,andtherehadbeencertaintragedieswithwhichhisnamehadbeenconnected.WhenIspoketowomenwhoweretheloudestinhispraise,andaskedthemwhencecamethispower,theyalwaysanswered,afterthinkingforawhile:\"Idon’tknow——hehasacertaincharmabouthim.\"
Hewascertainlynothandsome.Hehadnoneoftheelegancethatweascribetoconquerorsoffemininehearts.Iwonderedwhatmightbehishiddencharm.Wasitmental?Ineverhadheardofacleversayingofhis.Inhisglance?Perhaps.Orinhisvoice?Thevoicesofsomebeingshaveacertainirresistibleattraction,almostsuggestingtheflavorofthingsgoodtoeat.Oneishungryforthem,andthesoundoftheirwordspenetratesuslikeadaintymorsel.Afriendwaspassing.
Iaskedhim:\"DoyouknowMonsieurMilial?\"
\"Yes.\"
\"Introduceus.\"
Aminutelaterwewereshakinghandsandtalkinginthedoorway.Whathesaidwascorrect,agreeabletohear;itcontainednoirritablethought.
Thevoicewassweet,soft,caressing,musical;butIhadheardothersmuchmoreattractive,muchmoremoving.Onelistenedtohimwithpleasure,justasonewouldlookataprettylittlebrook.Notensionofthemindwasnecessaryinordertofollowhim,nohiddenmeaningarousedcuriosity,noexpectationawokeinterest.Hisconversationwasratherrestful,butitdidnotawakeninoneeitheradesiretoanswer,tocontradictortoapprove,anditwasaseasytoanswerhimasitwastolistentohim.Theresponsecametothelipsofitsownaccord,assoonashehadfinishedtalking,andphrasesturnedtowardhimasifhehadnaturallyarousedthem.
Onethoughtsoonstruckme.Ihadknownhimforaquarterofanhour,anditseemedasifhewerealreadyoneofmyoldfriends,thatIhadknownallabouthimforalongtime;hisface,hisgestures,hisvoice,hisideas.Suddenly,afterafewminutesofconversation,heseemedalreadytobeinstalledinmyintimacy.Allconstraintdisappearedbetweenus,and,hadhesodesired,Imighthaveconfidedinhimasoneconfidesonlyinoldfriends.
Certainlytherewassomemysteryabouthim.Thosebarriersthatareclosedbetweenmostpeopleandthatareloweredwithtimewhensympathy,similartastes,equalintellectualcultureandconstantintercourseremoveconstraint——thosebarriersseemednottoexistbetweenhimandme,andnodoubtthiswasthecasebetweenhimandallpeople,bothmenandwomen,whomfatethrewinhispath.
Afterhalfanhourweparted,promisingtoseeeachotheroften,andhegavemehisaddressafterinvitingmetotakeluncheonwithhimintwodays.
Iforgotwhathourhehadstated,andIarrivedtoosoon;hewasnotyethome.Acorrectandsilentdomesticshowedmeintoabeautiful,quiet,softlylightedparlor.Ifeltcomfortablethere,athome.HowoftenI
havenoticedtheinfluenceofapartmentsonthecharacterandonthemind!Therearesomewhichmakeonefeelfoolish;inothers,onthecontrary,onealwaysfeelslively.Somemakeussad,althoughwelllightedanddecoratedinlight—coloredfurniture;otherscheerusup,althoughhungwithsombrematerial.Oureye,likeourheart,hasitslikesanddislikes,ofwhichitdoesnotinformus,andwhichitsecretlyimposesonourtemperament.Theharmonyoffurniture,walls,thestyleofanensemble,actimmediatelyonourmentalstate,justastheairfromthewoods,theseaorthemountainsmodifiesourphysicalnatures.
Isatdownonacushion—covereddivanandfeltmyselfsuddenlycarriedandsupportedbytheselittlesilkbagsoffeathers,asiftheoutlineofmybodyhadbeenmarkedoutbeforehandonthiscouch.
ThenIlookedabout.Therewasnothingstrikingabouttheroom;every—
wherewerebeautifulandmodestthings,simpleandrarefurniture,Orientalcurtainswhichdidnotseemtocomefromadepartmentstorebutfromtheinteriorofaharem;andexactlyoppositemehungtheportraitofawoman.Itwasaportraitofmediumsize,showingtheheadandtheupperpartofthebody,andthehands,whichwereholdingabook.Shewasyoung,bareheaded;ribbonswerewoveninherhair;shewassmilingsadly.Wasitbecauseshewasbareheaded,wasitmerelyhernaturalexpression?Ineverhaveseenaportraitofaladywhichseemedsomuchinitsplaceasthatoneinthatdwelling.OfallthoseIknewIhaveseennothinglikethatone.AllthosethatIknowareonexhibition,whethertheladybedressedinhergaudiestgown,withanattractiveheaddressandalookwhichshowsthatsheisposingfirstofallbeforetheartistandthenbeforethosewhowilllookatherorwhethertheyhavetakenacomfortableattitudeinanordinarygown.Somearestandingmajesticallyinalltheirbeauty,whichisnotatallnaturaltotheminlife.Allofthemhavesomething,afloweror,ajewel,acreaseinthedressoracurveofthelip,whichonefeelstohavebeenplacedthereforeffectbytheartist.Whethertheywearahatormerelytheirhaironecanimmediatelynoticethattheyarenotentirelynatural.Why?
Onecannotsaywithoutknowingthem,buttheeffectisthere.Theyseemtobecallingsomewhere,onpeoplewhomtheywishtopleaseandtowhomtheywishtoappearattheirbestadvantage;andtheyhavestudiedtheirattitudes,sometimesmodest,Sometimeshaughty.
Whatcouldonesayaboutthisone?Shewasathomeandalone.Yes,shewasalone,forshewassmilingasonesmileswhenthinkinginsolitudeofsomethingsadorsweet,andnotasonesmileswhenoneisbeingwatched.
Sheseemedsomuchaloneandsomuchathomethatshemadethewholelargeapartmentseemabsolutelyempty.Shealonelivedinit,filledit,gaveitlife.Manypeoplemightcomeinandconverse,laugh,evensing;
shewouldstillbealonewithasolitarysmile,andshealonewouldgiveitlifewithherpicturedgaze.
Thatlookalsowasunique.Itfelldirectlyonme,fixedandcaressing,withoutseeingme.Allportraitsknowthattheyarebeingwatched,andtheyanswerwiththeireyes,whichsee,think,followuswithoutleavingus,fromtheverymomentweentertheapartmenttheyinhabit.Thisonedidnotseeme;itsawnothing,althoughitslookwasfixeddirectlyonme.IrememberedthesurprisingverseofBaudelaire:
Andyoureyes,attractiveasthoseofaportrait.
Theydidindeedattractmeinanirresistiblemanner;thosepaintedeyeswhichhadlived,orwhichwereperhapsstillliving,threwovermeastrange,powerfulspell.Oh,whataninfiniteandtendercharm,likeapassingbreeze,likeadyingsunsetoflilacroseandblue,alittlesadliketheapproachingnight,whichcomesbehindthesombreframeandoutofthoseimpenetrableeyes!Thoseeyes,createdbyafewstrokesfromabrush,hidebehindthemthemysteryofthatwhichseemstobeandwhichdoesnotexist,whichcanappearintheeyesofawoman,whichcanmakeloveblossomwithinus.
ThedooropenedandM.Milialentered.Heexcusedhimselfforbeinglate.Iexcusedmyselfforbeingaheadoftime.ThenIsaid:\"MightI
askyouwhoisthislady?\"
Heanswered:\"Thatismymother.Shediedveryyoung.\"
ThenIunderstoodwhencecametheinexplicableattractionofthisman.
THEDRUNKARD
Thenorthwindwasblowingahurricane,drivingthroughtheskybig,black,heavycloudsfromwhichtherainpoureddownontheearthwithterrificviolence.
Ahighseawasraginganddashingitshuge,slow,foamywavesalongthecoastwiththerumblingsoundofthunder.Thewavesfollowedeachotherclose,rollinginashighasmountains,scatteringthefoamastheybroke.
ThestormengulfeditselfinthelittlevalleyofYport,whistlingandmoaning,tearingtheshinglesfromtheroofs,smashingtheshutters,knockingdownthechimneys,rushingthroughthenarrowstreetsinsuchguststhatonecouldwalkonlybyholdingontothewalls,andchildrenwouldhavebeenlifteduplikeleavesandcarriedoverthehousesintothefields.
Thefishingsmackshadbeenhauledhighuponland,becauseathightidetheseawouldsweepthebeach.Severalsailors,shelteredbehindthecurvedbottomsoftheirboats,werewatchingthisbattleoftheskyandthesea.
Then,onebyone,theywentaway,fornightwasfallingonthestorm,wrappinginshadowstheragingoceanandallthebattlingelements.
Justtwomenremained,theirhandsplungeddeepintotheirpockets,bendingtheirbacksbeneaththesquall,theirwoolencapspulleddownovertheirears;twobigNormandyfishermen,bearded,theirskintannedthroughexposure,withthepiercingblackeyesofthesailorwholooksoverthehorizonlikeabirdofprey.
Oneofthemwassaying:
\"Comeon,Jeremie,let’sgoplaydominoes.It’smytreat.\"
Theotherhesitatedawhile,temptedononehandbythegameandthethoughtofbrandy,knowingwellthat,ifhewenttoPaumelle’s,hewouldreturnhomedrunk;heldback,ontheotherhand,bytheideaofhiswiferemainingaloneinthehouse.
Heasked:
\"Anyonemightthinkthatyouhadmadeabettogetmedrunkeverynight.
Say,whatgoodisitdoingyou,sinceit’salwaysyouthat’streating?\"
Neverthelesshewassmilingattheideaofallthisbrandydrunkattheexpenseofanother.HewassmilingthecontentedsmirkofanavariciousNorman.
Mathurin,hisfriend,keptpullinghimbythesleeve.
\"Comeon,Jeremie.Thisisn’tthekindofanighttogohomewithoutanythingtowarmyouup.Whatareyouafraidof?Isn’tyourwifegoingtowarmyourbedforyou?\"
Jeremieanswered:
\"TheothernightIcouldn’tfindthedoor——Ihadtobefishedoutoftheditchinfrontofthehouse!\"
Hewasstilllaughingatthisdrunkard’srecollection,andhewasunconsciouslygoingtowardPaumelle’sCafe,wherealightwasshininginthewindow;hewasgoing,pulledbyMathurinandpushedbythewind,unabletoresistthesecombinedforces.
Thelowroomwasfullofsailors,smokeandnoise.Allthesemen,cladinwoolens,theirelbowsonthetables,wereshoutingtomakethemselvesheard.Themorepeoplecamein,themoreonehadtoshoutinordertoovercomethenoiseofvoicesandtherattlingofdominoesonthemarbletables.
JeremieandMathurinsatdowninacornerandbeganagame,andtheglasseswereemptiedinrapidsuccessionintotheirthirstythroats.
Thentheyplayedmoregamesanddrankmoreglasses.Mathurinkeptpouringandwinkingtothesaloonkeeper,abig,red—facedman,whochuckledasthoughatthethoughtofsomefinejoke;andJeremiekeptabsorbingalcoholandwagginghishead,givingventtoaroaroflaughterandlookingathiscomradewithastupidandcontentedexpression.
Allthecustomersweregoingaway.Everytimethatoneofthemwouldopenthedoortoleaveagustofwindwouldblowintothecafe,makingthetobaccosmokeswirlaround,swingingthelampsattheendoftheirchainsandmakingtheirflamesflicker,andsuddenlyonecouldhearthedeepboomingofabreakingwaveandthemoaningofthewind.
Jeremie,hiscollarunbuttoned,wastakingdrunkard’sposes,onelegoutstretched,onearmhangingdownandintheotherhandholdingadomino.
Theywerealonenowwiththeowner,whohadcomeuptothem,interested.
Heasked:
\"Well,Jeremie,howgoesitinside?Feellessthirstyafterwettingyourthroat?\"
Jeremiemuttered:
\"ThemoreIwetit,thedrieritgetsinside.\"
TheinnkeepercastaslyglanceatMathurin.Hesaid:
\"Andyourbrother,Mathurin,where’shenow?\"
Thesailorlaughedsilently:
\"Don’tworry;he’swarm,allright.\"
AndbothofthemlookedtowardJeremie,whowastriumphantlyputtingdownthedoublesixandannouncing:
\"Game!\"
Thentheownerdeclared:
\"Well,boys,I’mgoin’tobed.Iwillleaveyouthelampandthebottle;
there’stwentycents’worthinit.Lockthedoorwhenyougo,Mathurin,andslipthekeyunderthematthewayyoudidtheothernight.\"
Mathurinanswered:
\"Don’tworry;it’llbeallright.\"
Paumelleshookhandswithhistwocustomersandslowlywentupthewoodenstairs.Forseveralminuteshisheavystepechoedthroughthelittlehouse.Thenaloudcreakingannouncedthathehadgotintobed.
Thetwomencontinuedtoplay.Fromtimetotimeamoreviolentgustofwindwouldshakethewholehouse,andthetwodrinkerswouldlookup,asthoughsomeonewereabouttoenter.ThenMathurinwouldtakethebottleandfillJeremie’sglass.Butsuddenlytheclockoverthebarstrucktwelve.Itshoarseclangsoundedliketherattlingofsaucepans.ThenMathuringotuplikeasailorwhosewatchisover.
\"Comeon,Jeremie,we’vegottogetout.\"
Theothermanrosetohisfeetwithdifficulty,gothisbalancebyleaningonthetable,reachedthedoorandopeneditwhilehiscompanionwasputtingoutthelight.
AssoonastheywereinthestreetMathurinlockedthedoorandthensaid:
\"Well,solong.Seeyouto—morrownight!\"
Andhedisappearedinthedarkness.
Jeremietookafewsteps,staggered,stretchedouthishands,metawallwhichsupportedhimandbegantostumblealong.Fromtimetotimeagustofwindwouldsweepthroughthestreet,pushinghimforward,makinghimrunforafewsteps;then,whenthewindwoulddiedown,hewouldstopshort,havinglosthisimpetus,andoncemorehewouldbegintostaggeronhisunsteadydrunkard’slegs.
Hewentinstinctivelytowardhishome,justasbirdsgototheirnests.
Finallyherecognizedhisdoor,andbegantofeelaboutforthekeyholeandtriedtoputthekeyinit.Notfindingthehole,hebegantoswear.
Thenhebegantobeatonthedoorwithhisfists,callingforhiswifetocomeandhelphim:
\"Melina!Oh,Melina!\"
Asheleanedagainstthedoorforsupport,itgavewayandopened,andJeremie,losinghisprop,fellinside,rollingonhisfaceintothemiddleofhisroom,andhefeltsomethingheavypassoverhimandescapeinthenight.
Hewasnolongermoving,dazedbyfright,bewildered,fearingthedevil,ghosts,allthemysteriousbeingsofdarkness,andhewaitedalongtimewithoutdaringtomove.Butwhenhefoundoutthatnothingelsewasmoving,alittlereasonreturnedtohim,thereasonofadrunkard.
Gentlyhesatup.Againhewaitedalongtime,andatlast,growingbolder,hecalled:
\"Melina!\"
Hiswifedidnotanswer.
Then,suddenly,asuspicioncrossedhisdarkenedmind,anindistinct,vaguesuspicion.Hewasnotmoving;hewassittingthereinthedark,tryingtogathertogetherhisscatteredwits,hismindstumblingoverincompleteideas,justashisfeetstumbledalong.
Oncemoreheasked:
\"Whowasit,Melina?Tellmewhoitwas.Iwon’thurtyou!\"
Hewaited,novoicewasraisedinthedarkness.Hewasnowreasoningwithhimselfoutloud.
\"I’mdrunk,allright!I’mdrunk!Andhefilledmeup,thedog;hedidit,tostopmygoin’home.I’mdrunk!\"
Andhewouldcontinue:
\"Tellmewhoitwas,Melina,orsomethin’llhappentoyou.\"
Afterhavingwaitedagain,hewentonwiththeslowandobstinatelogicofadrunkard:
\"He’sbeenkeepingmeatthatloaferPaumelle’splaceeverynight,soastostopmygoinghome.It’ssometrick.Oh,youdamnedcarrion!\"
Slowlyhegotonhisknees.Ablindfurywasgainingpossessionofhim,minglingwiththefumesofalcohol.
Hecontinued:
\"Tellmewhoitwas,Melina,oryou’llgetalicking——Iwarnyou!\"
Hewasnowstanding,tremblingwithawildfury,asthoughthealcoholhadsethisbloodonfire.Hetookastep,knockedagainstachair,seizedit,wenton,reachedthebed,ranhishandsoveritandfeltthewarmbodyofhiswife.
Then,maddened,heroared:
\"So!Youwerethere,youpieceofdirt,andyouwouldn’tanswer!\"
And,liftingthechair,whichhewasholdinginhisstrongsailor’sgrip,heswungitdownbeforehimwithanexasperatedfury.Acryburstfromthebed,anagonizing,piercingcry.Thenhebegantothrasharoundlikeathresherinabarn.Andsoonnothingmoremoved.Thechairwasbrokentopieces,buthestillheldonelegandbeatawaywithit,panting.
Atlasthestoppedtoask:
\"Well,areyoureadytotellmewhoitwas?\"
Melinadidnotanswer.
Thentiredout,stupefiedfromhisexertion,hestretchedhimselfoutonthegroundandslept.
Whendaycameaneighbor,seeingthedooropen,entered.HesawJeremiesnoringonthefloor,amidthebrokenpiecesofachair,andonthebedapulpoffleshandblood.
THEWARDROBE
Aswesatchattingafterdinner,apartyofmen,theconversationturnedonwomen,forlackofsomethingelse.
Oneofussaid:
\"Here’safunnythingthathappenedtomeon,thatverysubject.\"Andhetoldusthefollowingstory:
OneeveninglastwinterIsuddenlyfeltovercomebythatoverpoweringsenseofmiseryandlanguorthattakespossessionofonefromtimetotime.Iwasinmyownapartment,allalone,andIwasconvincedthatifIgaveintomyfeelingsIshouldhaveaterribleattackofmelancholia,oneofthoseattacksthatleadtosuicidewhentheyrecurtoooften.
IputonmyovercoatandwentoutwithouttheslightestideaofwhatI
wasgoingtodo.Havinggoneasfarastheboulevards,Ibegantowanderalongbythealmostemptycafes.Itwasraining,afinerainthataffectsyourmindasitdoesyourclothing,notoneofthosegooddownpourswhichcomedownintorrents,drivingbreathlesspassers—byintodoorways,butarainwithoutdropsthatdepositsonyourclothinganimperceptiblesprayandsooncoversyouwithasortoficedfoamthatchillsyouthrough.