第53章
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  TheresolutiontobecomeaRedCrossnurse,takenunderstimulusofJolly’senlistment,hadbeenloyallyfulfilledwiththeirritationandregretwhichallForsytesfeelatwhatcurtailstheirindividualliberties。Enthusiasticatfirstaboutthe’wonderfulness’ofthework,shehadbegunafteramonthtofeelthatshecouldtrainherselfsomuchbetterthanotherscouldtrainher。AndifHollyhadnotinsistedonfollowingherexample,andbeingtrainedtoo,shemustinevitablyhave’criedoff。’ThedepartureofJollyandValwiththeirtroopinAprilhadfurtherstiffenedherfailingresolve。Butnow,onthepointofdeparture,thethoughtofleavingEricCobbley,withawifeandtwochildren,adriftinthecoldwatersofanunappreciativeworldweighedonhersothatshewasstillindangerofbackingout。Thereadingofthatcablegram,withitsdisquietingreality,clinchedthematter。

  ShesawherselfalreadynursingJolly——forofcoursetheywouldlethernurseherownbrother!Jolyon——everwideanddoubtful——hadnosuchhope。PoorJune!

  CouldanyForsyteofhergenerationgrasphowrudeandbrutallifewas?Eversinceheknewofhisboy’sarrivalatCapeTownthethoughtofhimhadbeenakindofrecurrentsicknessinJolyon。HecouldnotgetreconciledtothefeelingthatJollywasindangerallthetime。Thecablegram,gravethoughitwas,wasalmostarelief。Hewasnowsafefrombullets,anyway。Andyet——thisentericwasavirulentdisease!TheTimeswasfullofdeathstherefrom。Whycouldhenotbelyingoutthereinthatup-countryhospital,andhisboysafeathome?Theun-Forsyteanselfsacrificeofhisthreechildren,indeed,hadquitebewilderedJolyon。HewouldeagerlychangeplaceswithJolly,becausehelovedhisboy;

  butnosuchpersonalmotivewasinfluencingthem。HecouldonlythinkthatitmarkedthedeclineoftheForsytetype。

  LatethatafternoonHollycameouttohimundertheoldoak-tree。

  Shehadgrownupverymuchduringtheselastmonthsofhospitaltrainingawayfromhome。And,seeingherapproach,hethought:

  ’ShehasmoresensethanJune,childthoughsheis;morewisdom。

  ThankGodsheisn’tgoingout。’Shehadseatedherselfintheswing,verysilentandstill。’Shefeelsthis,’thoughtJolyon,’asmuchasI’and,seeinghereyesfixedonhim,hesaid:”Don’ttakeittohearttoomuch,mychild。Ifheweren’till,hemightbeinmuchgreaterdanger。”

  Hollygotoutoftheswing。”Iwanttotellyousomething,Dad。ItwasthroughmethatJollyenlistedandwentout。””How’sthat?””WhenyouwereawayinParis,ValDartieandIfellinlove。WeusedtorideinRichmondPark;wegotengaged。Jollyfounditout,andthoughtheoughttostopit;sohedaredValtoenlist。Itwasallmyfault,Dad;andIwanttogoouttoo。BecauseifanythinghappenstoeitherofthemIshouldfeelawful。Besides,I’mjustasmuchtrainedasJune。”

  Jolyongazedatherinastupefactionthatwastingedwithirony。

  Sothiswastheanswertotheriddlehehadbeenaskinghimself;

  andhisthreechildrenwereForsytesafterall。SurelyHollymighthavetoldhimallthisbefore!Buthesmotheredthesarcasticsayingsonhislips。Tendernesstotheyoungwasperhapsthemostsacredarticleofhisbelief。Hehadgot,nodoubt,whathedeserved。Engaged!Sothiswaswhyhehadsolosttouchwithher!

  AndtoyoungValDartie——nephewofSoames——intheothercamp!Itwasallterriblydistasteful。Heclosedhiseasel,andsethisdrawingagainstthetree。”HaveyoutoldJune?””Yes;shesaysshe’llgetmeintohercabinsomehow。It’sasinglecabin;butoneofuscouldsleeponthefloor。Ifyouconsent,she’llgoupnowandgetpermission。”

  ’Consent?’thoughtJolyon。’Ratherlateinthedaytoaskforthat!’Butagainhecheckedhimself。”You’retooyoung,mydear;theywon’tletyou。””JuneknowssomepeoplethatshehelpedtogotoCapeTown。Iftheywon’tletmenurseyet,Icouldstaywiththemandgoontrainingthere。Letmego,Dad!”

  Jolyonsmiledbecausehecouldhavecried。”Ineverstopanyonefromdoinganything,”hesaid。

  Hollyflungherarmsroundhisneck。”Oh!Dad,youarethebestintheworld。”

  ’Thatmeanstheworst,’thoughtJolyon。Ifhehadeverdoubtedhiscreedoftolerancehedidsothen。”I’mnotfriendlywithVal’sfamily,”hesaid,”andIdon’tknowVal,butJollydidn’tlikehim。”

  Hollylookedatthedistanceandsaid:”Ilovehim。””Thatsettlesit,”saidJolyondryly,thencatchingtheexpressiononherface,hekissedher,withthethought:’Isanythingmorepatheticthanthefaithoftheyoung?’Unlessheactuallyforbadehergoingitwasobviousthathemustmakethebestofit,sohewentuptotownwithJune。Whetherduetoherpersistence,orthefactthattheofficialtheysawwasanoldschoolfriendofJolyon’s,theyobtainedpermissionforHollytosharethesinglecabin。HetookthemtoSurbitonstationthefollowingevening,andtheydulyslidawayfromhim,providedwithmoney,invalidfoods,andthoselettersofcreditwithoutwhichForsytesdonottravel。

  HedrovebacktoRobinHillunderabrilliantskytohislatedinner,servedwithanaddedcarebyservantstryingtoshowhimthattheysympathised,eatenwithanaddedscrupulousnesstoshowthemthatheappreciatedtheirsympathy。Butitwasarealrelieftogettohiscigarontheterraceofflag-stones——cunninglychosenbyyoungBosinneyforshapeandcolour——withnightclosinginaroundhim,sobeautifulanight,hardlywhisperinginthetrees,andsmellingsosweetthatitmadehimache。Thegrasswasdrenchedwithdew,andhekepttothoseflagstones,upanddown,tillpresentlyitbegantoseemtohimthathewasoneofthree,notwheeling,butturningrightaboutateachend,sothathisfatherwasalwaysnearesttothehouse,andhissonalwaysnearesttotheterraceedge。Eachhadanarmlightlywithinhisarm;hedarednotlifthishandtohiscigarlestheshoulddisturbthem,anditburnedaway,drippingashonhim,tillitdroppedfromhislips,atlast,whichweregettinghot。Theylefthimthen,andhisarmsfeltchilly。ThreeJolyonsinoneJolyontheyhadwalked。

  Hestoodstill,countingthesounds——acarriagepassingonthehighroad,adistanttrain,thedogatGage’sfarm,thewhisperingtrees,thegroomplayingonhispennywhistle。Amultitudeofstarsupthere——brightandsilent,sofaroff!Nomoonasyet!

  Justenoughlighttoshowhimthedarkflagsandswordsoftheirisflowersalongtheterraceedge——hisfavouriteflowerthathadthenight’sowncolouronitscurvingcrumpledpetals。Heturnedroundtothehouse。Big,unlighted,notasoulbesidehimselftoliveinallthatpartofit。Starkloneliness!Hecouldnotgoonlivingherealone。Andyet,solongastherewasbeauty,whyshouldamanfeellonely?Theanswer——astosomeidiot’sriddle——was:Becausehedid。Thegreaterthebeauty,thegreatertheloneliness,foratthebackofbeautywasharmony,andatthebackofharmonywas——

  union。Beautycouldnotcomfortifthesoulwereoutofit。Thenight,maddeninglylovely,withbloomofgrapesonitinstarshine,andthebreathofgrassandhoneycomingfromit,hecouldnotenjoy,whileshewhowastohimthelifeofbeauty,itsembodimentandessence,wascutofffromhim,utterlycutoffnow,hefelt,byhonourabledecency。

  Hemadeapoorfistofsleeping,strivingtoohardafterthatresignationwhichForsytesfinddifficulttoreach,bredtotheirownwayandleftsocomfortablyoffbytheirfathers。Butafterdawnhedozedoff,andsoonwasdreamingastrangedream。

  Hewasonastagewithimmenselyhighrichcurtains——highastheverystars——stretchinginasemi——circlefromfootlightstofootlights。Hehimselfwasverysmall,alittleblackrestlessfigureroamingupanddown;andtheoddthingwasthathewasnotaltogetherhimself,butSoamesaswell,sothathewasnotonlyexperiencingbutwatching。ThisfigureofhimselfandSoameswastryingtofindawayoutthroughthecurtains,which,heavyanddark,kepthimin。Severaltimeshehadcrossedinfrontofthembeforehesawwithdelightasuddennarrowrift——atallchinkofbeautythecolourofirisflowers,likeaglimpseofParadise,remote,ineffable。Steppingquicklyforwardtopassintoit,hefoundthecurtainsclosingbeforehim。Bitterlydisappointedhe——

  orwasitSoames?——movedon,andtherewasthechinkagainthroughthepartedcurtains,whichagainclosedtoosoon。Thiswentonandonandhenevergotthroughtillhewokewiththeword”Irene”onhislips。Thedreamdisturbedhimbadly,especiallythatidentificationofhimselfwithSoames。

  Nextmorning,findingitimpossibletowork,hespenthoursridingJolly’shorseinsearchoffatigue。AndontheseconddayhemadeuphismindtomovetoLondonandseeifhecouldnotgetpermissiontofollowhisdaughterstoSouthAfrica。Hehadjustbeguntopackthefollowingmorningwhenhereceivedthisletter:”GREENHOTEL,”June13。”RICHMOND。”MYDEARJOLYON,”YouwillbesurprisedtoseehownearIamtoyou。Parisbecameimpossible——andIhavecomeheretobewithinreachofyouradvice。

  Iwouldsolovetoseeyouagain。SinceyouleftParisIdon’tthinkIhavemetanyoneIcouldreallytalkto。Isallwellwithyouandwithyourboy?Nooneknows,Ithink,thatIamhereatpresent。”Alwaysyourfriend,”IRENE。”

  Irenewithinthreemilesofhim!——andagaininflight!Hestoodwithaveryqueersmileonhislips。Thiswasmorethanhehadbargainedfor!

  AboutnoonhesetoutonfootacrossRichmondPark,andashewentalong,hethought:’RichmondPark!ByJove,itsuitsusForsytes!’

  NotthatForsyteslivedthere——nobodylivedtheresaveroyalty,rangers,andthedeer——butinRichmondParkNaturewasallowedtogosofarandnofurther,puttingupabraveshowofbeingnatural,seemingtosay:’Lookatmyinstincts——theyarealmostpassions,verynearlyoutofhand,butnotquite,ofcourse;theveryhubofpossessionistopossessoneself。’Yes!RichmondParkpossesseditself,evenonthatbrightdayofJune,witharrowycuckoosshiftingthetree-pointsoftheircalls,andthewooddovesannouncinghighsummer。

  TheGreenHotel,whichJolyonenteredatoneo’clock,stoodnearlyoppositethatmorefamoushostelry,theCrownandSceptre;itwasmodest,highlyrespectable,neveroutofcoldbeef,gooseberrytart,andadowagerortwo,sothatacarriageandpairwasalmostalwaysstandingbeforethedoor。

  Inaroomdrapedinchintzsoslipperyastoforbidallemotion,Irenewassittingonapianostoolcoveredwithcrewelwork,playing’HanselandGretel’outofanoldscore。Aboveheronawall,notyetMorris-papered,wasaprintoftheQueenonapony,amongstdeer-hounds,Scotch。caps,andslainstags;besideherinapotonthewindow-sillwasawhiteandrosyfuchsia。TheVictorianismoftheroomalmosttalked;andinherclingingfrockIreneseemedtoJolyonlikeVenusemergingfromtheshellofthepastcentury。

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