第23章
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  “fortydrawlsandtenstutterstoeveryorange,“quotingCaptainShadagain。

  “Itoldyouyoumustn’tgethimstarted,“wentonMissKeith,gushingly。“He’lltalkforeverifhehasachance。Butyouwoulddoit。Askinghimifhekeptpomegranatesandbread-fruit!Theidea!I’msurehedoesn’tknowwhatapomegranateis。YouwereSO

  solemnandhewasSOridiculous!IthoughtIshouldDIE。Youreallyarethedrollestperson,CrawfordSmith!Idon’tknowwhatI

  shalldowithyou。“

  ItwasevidentthatheropinionofyoungSmithwasnotdifferentfromthatofotheryoungladiesofherage。AlsothatCrawfordhimselfwasnotentirelyunconsciousofthatopinion。Ateighteen,tobesetuponapedestalandworshiped,tohaveone’sfeeblestjokehailedasamasterpieceofwit,isdangerousfortheidol;theeffortofsustainingtheelevatedpositionentailstheriskofafall。Crawfordwasbuteighteenandagoodfellow,buthehadbeenworshipedagooddeal。Hewasquiteassensibleasotheryoungchapsofhisage,whichstatementmeansexactlythatandnomore。

  “Well,“hesaid,withacomplacentgrin,“welearnedhowtopronounce’pomegranate’atanyrate。Youbeginwithapup-pup-pup,asifyouwerecallingadog,andyoufinishwithagruntlikeapig。IwishIhadaskedhimforapersimmon;thenhe’dhavemadeanoiselikeacat。“

  MissKeith,whensherecoveredfromherspasmofmerriment,declaredhercompanion“perfectlykilling。“

  “Butwemusthurry,“shesaid。“WereallymustCrawford,youbuythethings。Ishouldthinkofthatfruitmanandlaughallthetime,IknowIshould。“

  Sheremainedbythedoorandtheyounggentlemanstrolledtothecounter。Hecastanamusedglanceaboutthestore;itsdisplayofstockwas,thankstoMary-’Gusta’srecenteffortsattidiness,notquitetheconglomeratemassithadbeenwhenthepartnersweresolelyresponsible,butthevarietywasstillstrikinglyobvious。

  “Humph!“observedCrawford;“I’veforgottenwhatwecametobuy,butI’msureitishere,whateveritis。Someemporium,this!

  Introducemetotheproprietor,willyou,Edna?“

  Ednagiggled。

  “Sheisn’ttheproprietor,“shesaid。“Sheisjusttheclerk,that’sall。Hernameis——I’veforgottenyourname,dear。Whatisit?“

  “MaryLathrop,“repliedMary-’Gusta,shortly。Sheobjectedtobeingaddressedas“dear“andshestronglyobjectedtothepatronizingtoneinwhichitwasuttered。EdnaKeithwasolderthanshe,butnotoldenoughtopatronize。

  “Oh,yes,soitis,“saidtheyounglady。“Butthatisn’twhateveryonecallsyou。Theycallyousomethingelse——somethingfunny——

  Oh,Iknow!Mary-’Gusta,that’sit。Iknewitwasfunny。Mary-

  ’Gusta,thisisMr。Smith。Hewantstobuysomethings。Andhe’sinaGREAThurry。“

  “Charmed,Mary-’Gusta,“saidMr。Smith。Mary’-Gustadidnotappearcharmed。Sheaskedhimwhathewanted。

  “SearchME,“saidtheyounggentleman,cheerfully。“Therewasalist,wasn’tthere,Edna?Youhaveit,Ithink。“

  Ednaproducedthelist,scrawledinpencilonthebackofanenvelope。Crawfordlookeditover。

  “Sam’swritingisn’texactlyprint,“heobserved,“butIcanguessatit。Let’ssee——apoundofbutter。Where’sthebutterdepartmentofthisBonMarche,Edna?“

  Edna,afteranotherconvulsion,declaredshedidn’tknow。

  “NodoubtMiss——er——MaryJaneknows,“wentonhercompanion。“Why,yes,ofcourseshedoes。Rightthere,behindtheoilskinjacket。

  Removejacket,opendoor——behold,theiceboxandthebutter。Neat,compact,andconvenient。Onepoundonly,ElizabethEliza。Thankyou。“

  “Hernameisn’tElizabethEliza,“giggledMissKeith。“Isn’theawful,Mary-’Gusta!Youmustn’tmindhim。“

  “Idon’t,“saidMary-’Gusta,promptly。“Whatelsedoyouwant?“

  Crawfordconsultedthelist。“Thenextitem,“hesaid,“appearstobea——er——certainkindofham。Iblushtomentionit,butImust。

  Itisdeviledham。Haveyouthatkindofham,Mary-’Gusta?“

  Mary-’Gustatookthecanofdeviledhamfromtheshelf。Crawfordshookhishead。

  “Tothinkthatonesoyoungshouldbesofamiliarwithhamofthatkind!“hesaid。“Shedidn’tspeakitsname,though。SupposeIhadaskedyouwhatkindofhamyouhad,Miss——er——’Gustahowwouldyouhavegotaroundit?“

  Mary-’Gustadidnotanswer。Shewasveryangry,butshewasdeterminedthathertormentorshouldnotknowit。

  “Ayoungladyoffewwords,“commentedMr。Smith。“Nextitemappearstobesixboxesofmarshmallows。Whereisthemarshmallowdepartment,MaryJane?“

  Mary-’Gustahesitated。Thetinboxesofmarshmallowswereontheshelfbehindthecounterunderthecandycase。Buttherewasafreshassortmentinanunopenedpackingboxinthebackroom,aboxwhichhadjustcomefromthewholesaleconfectioner’sinBoston。

  HerUncleZoethhadexpressedafearthatthosebeneaththecounterwereratherstale。

  MissKeithfidgeted。“Oh,dear!“sheexclaimed。“ThisisSOslow。

  IknowSamandtherestwon’twaitforusattheclam-man’smuchlonger。“

  Hercompanionwhistled。“Istheword’hurry’intheSouthHarnissdictionary,Edna?“heinquired。“Howaboutit,MaryJane?“

  Mary-’Gustawasdeterminednottohurry。Thissuperioryoungmanwishedhertodosoandthatwasreasonsufficientfordelay。

  YoungSmithsighedresignedly。“Edna,“hesaid,“supposewesitdown。ThewordisNOTinthedictionary。“

  Therewasbutonechair,exceptthosebehindthecounters,inthestore。MissKeithtookthatwithanexclamationofimpatience。

  CrawfordSmith,whistlingamournfuldirge,saunteredtotheendofthecounterandsatdownuponanailkeg。

  Mary-’Gustaalsoutteredanexclamation。Itiswelltolookbeforeoneleaps,also,occasionally,beforeonesits。Thatkeghad,spreadacrossitstop,asheetofthefreshandverystickyflypaper。Beforeshecouldhaveprotested,evenifshehadwishedtodoso,theyounggentleman’sspotlesswhiteflannelsandtheflypapercameincontact,closeandclingingcontact。

  Mary-’Gustaputahandtohermouth。Crawfordlookedather,caughtthedirectionofherlook,andlookedinthatdirectionhimself。

  Hiswhistlestoppedinthemiddleofanoteandhisfaceimmediatelybecameamatchforhissocksandtie,abeautifulrichcrimson,thechosencolorofhisUniversity。

  MissKeith,fromherseatbythedoor,couldnotseebeyondtheendofthecounter。Consequentlyshewasunawareofthemishaptothewhiteflannels。ButMary-’Gustasawandknew;alsoshecouldseethatMr。Smithknew。

  “Oh,dear!“exclaimedEdna,impatiently。“Wearedreadfullylatenow。We’llnevergetthereontime。Samwon’twaitforus;Iknowhewon’t。Wherearethosemarshmallows?Can’tyoupleasehurry,Mary’-Gusta?“

  Mary-’Gusta’seyesweresparkling。Hermannerwasprovokinglydeliberate。Shetookaboxofmarshmallowsfrombeneaththecounter。

  “Therearesomehere,“shesaid,“butI’mafraidtheyaren’tveryfresh。Thefreshones,thosethathavejustcome,areinaboxinthebackroom。Thatboxhasn’tbeenopenedyet。IfyoucanwaitI’llopenitforyou。“

  YoungSmithsaidnothing。MissKeith,however,spokehermind。

  “Ofcoursewecan’twait,“shedeclared。“I’msurethesewilldo。

  Theywilldo,won’tthey,Crawford?“

  AndstillCrawfordremainedsilent。Mary-’Gusta,whowasenjoyingthisportionoftheinterviewasmuchasshehaddislikeditsbeginning,offeredasuggestion。

  “Ifyouwilljustcomehereandlookatthese,“shesaid,withmischievousgravity,addressingtheyounggentlemanonthenailkeg,“perhapsyoucantellwhetherthey’refreshenough。“

  Theyounggentlemandidnotrise。Hisfaceretaineditsbrilliantcolorandhislipsmoved,buthisanswerwasnotaudible。Athisagethedreadofappearingridiculous,especiallyinthepresenceofayouthfulandcharmingfemale,isaboveallothershateful。AndEdnaKeithwasnottheonlygirlinthepicnicparty;therewereothers。Shewouldbecertaintotellthem。CrawfordSmithforesawahorribleday,adayofdisgraceandhumiliation,oneinwhichhewasdestinedtofurnishamusementwithoutsharingthefun。AndSamKeith,whohadremarkeduponthesplendorofhisfriend’sattire,wouldgloat——notonlyhereinSouthHarniss,butelsewhere——inCambridge,forinstance。Anoldermanwouldhaverisen,laughedwhetherhefeltlikelaughingornot——andhaveexpressedhisopinionofflypaper。Crawfordwasnotyetaman;hewasinthetransitionstage,aboyfondlyhopingthatotherpeoplemightthinkhimaman。

  Sohesatstilluntilitwastoolatetorise,andthenwishedhehadriseninthefirstplace。

  “Mygoodness!“exclaimedthefidgetyMissKeith,“whydon’tyoulookatthem,Crawford?Whatareyouwaitingfor?“

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