第19章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Jude the Obscure",免费读到尾

  Thenawaveofwarmthcameoverhimashethoughthownearhenowstoodtothebright-eyedvivaciousgirlwiththebroadforeheadandpileofdarkhairaboveit;thegirlwiththekindlingglance,daringlysoftattimes-somethinglikethatofthegirlshehadseeninengravingsfrompaintingsoftheSpanishschool。Shewashere-actuallyinthisClose-inoneofthehousesconfrontingthisverywestfa&cced;ade。

  Hewentdownthebroadgravelpathtowardsthebuilding。Itwasanancientedificeofthefifteenthcentury,onceapalace,nowatraining-school,withmullionedandtransomedwindows,andacourtyardinfrontshutinfromtheroadbyawall。Judeopenedthegateandwentuptothedoorthroughwhich,oninquiringforhiscousin,hewasgingerlyadmittedtoawaiting-room,andinafewminutesshecame。

  Thoughshehadbeenheresuchashortwhile,shewasnotashehadseenherlast。Allherboundingmannerwasgone;hercurvesofmotionhadbecomesubduedlines。Thescreensandsubtletiesofconventionhadlikewisedisappeared。Yetneitherwasshequitethewomanwhohadwrittentheletterthatsummonedhim。Thathadplainlybeendashedoffinanimpulsewhichsecondthoughtshadsomewhatregretted;thoughtsthatwerepossiblyofhisrecentself-disgrace。Judewasquiteovercomewithemotion。

  `Youdon’t-thinkmeademoralizedwretch-forcomingtoyouasIwas-andgoingsoshamefully,Sue?’

  `Oh,Ihavetriednotto!Yousaidenoughtoletmeknowwhathadcausedit。IhopeIshallneverhaveanydoubtofyourworthiness,mypoorJude!AndIamgladyouhavecome!’

  Sheworeamurrey-colouredgownwithalittlelacecollar。Itwasmadequiteplain,andhungaboutherslightfigurewithclinginggracefulness。

  Herhair,whichformerlyshehadwornaccordingtothecustomofthedaywasnowtwisteduptightly,andshehadaltogethertheairofawomanclippedandprunedbyseverediscipline,anunder-brightnessshiningthroughfromthedepthswhichthatdisciplinehadnotyetbeenabletoreach。

  Shehadcomeforwardprettily,butJudefeltthatshehadhardlyexpectedhimtokissher,ashewasburningtodo,underothercoloursthanthoseofcousinship。HecouldnotperceivetheleastsignthatSueregardedhimasalover,oreverwoulddoso,nowthatsheknewtheworstofhim,evenifhehadtherighttobehaveasone;andthishelpedonhisgrowingresolvetotellherofhismatrimonialentanglement,whichhehadputoffdoingfromtimetotimeinsheerdreadoflosingtheblissofhercompany。

  Suecameoutintothetownwithhim,andtheywalkedandtalkedwithtonguescentredonlyonthepassingmoments。Judesaidhewouldliketobuyheralittlepresentofsomesort,andthensheconfessed,withsomethingofshame,thatshewasdreadfullyhungry。Theywerekeptonveryshortallowancesinthecollege,andadinner,tea,andsupperallinonewasthepresentshemostdesiredintheworld。Judethereupontookhertoaninnandorderedwhateverthehouseafforded,whichwasnotmuch。

  Theplace,however,gavethemadelightfulopportunityforatête-à-tête,nobodyelsebeingintheroom,andtheytalkedfreely。

  Shetoldhimabouttheschoolasitwasatthatdate,andtheroughliving,andthemixedcharacterofherfellow-students,gatheredtogetherfromallpartsofthediocese,andhowshehadtogetupandworkbygas-lightintheearlymorning,withallthebitternessofayoungpersontowhomrestraintwasnew。Toallthishelistened;butitwasnotwhathewantedespeciallytoknow-herrelationswithPhillotson。Thatwaswhatshedidnottell。Whentheyhadsatandeaten,Judeimpulsivelyplacedhishanduponhers;shelookedupandsmiled,andtookhisquitefreelyintoherownlittlesoftone,dividinghisfingersandcoollyexaminingthem,asiftheywerethefingersofagloveshewaspurchasing。

  `Yourhandsareratherrough,Jude,aren’tthey?’shesaid。

  `Yes。Sowouldyoursbeiftheyheldamalletandchiselallday。’

  `Idon’tdislikeit,youknow。Ithinkitisnobletoseeaman’shandssubduedtowhatheworksin……Well,I’mrathergladIcametothistraining-school,afterall。SeehowindependentIshallbeafterthetwoyears’training!Ishallpassprettyhigh,Iexpect,andMr。Phillotsonwillusehisinfluencetogetmeabigschool。’

  Shehadtouchedthesubjectatlast。`Ihadasuspicion,afear,’

  saidJude,`thathe-caredaboutyouratherwarmly,andperhapswantedtomarryyou。’

  `Nowdon’tbesuchasillyboy!’

  `Hehassaidsomethingaboutit,Iexpect。’

  `Ifhehad,whatwoulditmatter?Anoldmanlikehim!’

  `Oh,come,Sue;he’snotsoveryold。AndIknowwhatIsawhimdoing`Notkissingme-thatI’mcertain!’

  `No。Butputtinghisarmroundyourwaist。’

  `Ah-Iremember。ButIdidn’tknowhewasgoingto。’

  `Youarewrigglingoutifit,Sue,anditisn’tquitekind!’

  Herever-sensitivelipbegantoquiver,andhereyetoblink,atsomethingthisreproofwasdecidinghertosay。

  `Iknowyou’llbeangryifItellyoueverything,andthat’swhyIdon’twantto!’

  `Verywell,then,dear,’hesaidsoothingly。`Ihavenorealrighttoaskyou,andIdon’twishtoknow。’

  `Ishalltellyou!’saidshe,withtheperversenessthatwaspartofher。`ThisiswhatIhavedone:Ihavepromised-Ihavepromised-

  thatIwillmarryhimwhenIcomeoutofthetraining-schooltwoyearshence,andhavegotmycertificate;hisplanbeingthatweshallthentakealargedoubleschoolinagreattown-hetheboys’andIthegirls’-

  asmarriedschool-teachersoftendo,andmakeagoodincomebetweenus。’

  `Oh,Sue!……Butofcourseitisright-youcouldn’thavedonebetter!’

  Heglancedatherandtheireyesmet,thereproachinhisownbelyinghiswords。Thenhedrewhishandquiteawayfromhers,andturnedhisfaceinestrangementfromhertothewindow。Sueregardedhimpassivelywithoutmoving。

  `Iknewyouwouldbeangry!’shesaidwithanairofnoemotionwhatever。`Verywell-Iamwrong,Isuppose!Ioughtnottohaveletyoucometoseeme!Wehadbetternotmeetagain;andwe’llonlycorrespondatlongintervals,onpurelybusinessmatters!’

  Thiswasjusttheonethinghewouldnotbeabletobear,assheprobablyknew,anditbroughthimroundatonce。`Ohyes,wewill,’hesaidquickly。`Yourbeingengagedcanmakenodifferencetomewhatever。

  IhaveaperfectrighttoseeyouwhenIwantto;andIshall!’

  `Thendon’tletustalkofitanymore。Itisquitespoilingoureveningtogether。Whatdoesitmatteraboutwhatoneisgoingtodotwoyearshence!’

  Shewassomethingofariddletohim,andheletthesubjectdriftaway。`Shallwegoandsitinthecathedral?’heasked,whentheirmealwasfinished。

  `Cathedral?Yes。ThoughIthinkI’drathersitintherailwaystation,’sheanswered,aremnantofvexationstillinhervoice。`That’sthecentreofthetownlifenow。Thecathedralhashaditsday!’

  `Howmodernyouare!’

  `SowouldyoubeifyouhadlivedsomuchintheMiddleAgesasIhavedonetheselastfewyears!Thecathedralwasaverygoodplacefourorfivecenturiesago;butitisplayedoutnow……Iamnotmodern,either。

  Iammoreancientthanmediaevalism,ifyouonlyknew。’

  Judelookeddistressed。

  `There-Iwon’tsayanymoreofthat!’shecried。`Onlyyoudon’tknowhowbadIam,fromyourpointofview,oryouwouldn’tthinksomuchofme,orcarewhetherIwasengagedornot。Nowthere’sjusttimeforustowalkroundtheClose,thenImustgoin,orIshallbelockedoutforthenight。’

  Hetookhertothegateandtheyparted。Judehadaconvictionthathisunhappyvisittoheronthatsadnighthadprecipitatedthismarriageengagement,anditdidanythingbutaddtohishappiness。Herreproachhadtakenthatshape,then,andnottheshapeofwords。However,nextdayhesetaboutseekingemployment,whichitwasnotsoeasytogetasatChristminster,therebeing,asarule,lessstone-cuttinginprogressinthisquietcity,andhandsbeingmostlypermanent。Butheedgedhimselfinbydegrees。Hisfirstworkwassomecarvingatthecemeteryonthehill;

  andultimatelyhebecameengagedonthelabourhemostdesired-thecathedralrepairs,whichwereveryextensive,thewholeinteriorstoneworkhavingbeenoverhauled,tobelargelyreplacedbynew。Itmightbealabourofyearstogetitalldone,andhehadconfidenceenoughinhisownskillwiththemalletandchiseltofeelthatitwouldbeamatterofchoicewithhimselfhowlonghewouldstay。

  ThelodgingshetookneartheCloseGatewouldnothavedisgracedacurate,therentrepresentingahigherpercentageonhiswagesthanmechanicsofanysortusuallycaretopay。Hiscombinedbedandsitting-roomwasfurnishedwithframedphotographsoftherectoriesanddeaneriesatwhichhislandladyhadlivedastrustedservantinhertime,andtheparlourdownstairsboreaclockonthemantelpieceinscribedtotheeffectthatitwaspresentedtothesameserious-mindedwomanbyherfellow-servantsontheoccasionofhermarriage。Judeaddedtothefurnitureofhisroombyunpackingphotographsoftheecclesiasticalcarvingsandmonumentsthathehadexecutedwithhisownhands;andhewasdeemedasatisfactoryacquisitionastenantofthevacantapartment。

  Hefoundanamplesupplyoftheologicalbooksinthecitybook-shops,andwiththesehisstudieswererecommencedinadifferentspiritanddirectionfromhisformercourse。AsarelaxationfromtheFathers,andsuchstockworksasPaleyandButler,hereadNewman,Pusey,andmanyothermodernlights。Hehiredaharmonium,setitupinhislodging,andpractisedchantsthereon,singleanddouble。

  JudetheObscureChapter20III-ii`To-morrowisourgrandday,youknow。Whereshallwego?’

  `Ihaveleavefromthreetillnine。Whereverwecangettoandcomebackfrominthattime。Notruins,Jude-Idon’tcareforthem。’

  `Well-WardourCastle。AndthenwecandoFonthillifwelike-allinthesameafternoon。’

  `WardourisGothicruins-andIhateGothic!’

  `No。Quiteotherwise。Itisaclassicbuilding-Corinthian,I

  think;withalotofpictures。’

  `Ah-thatwilldo。IlikethesoundofCorinthian。We’llgo。’

  Theirconversationhadrunthussomefewweekslater,andnextmorningtheypreparedtostart。EverydetailoftheoutingwasafacetreflectingasparkletoJude,andhedidnotventuretomeditateonthelifeofinconsistencyhewasleading。HisSue’sconductwasonelovelyconundrumtohim;hecouldsaynomore。

  Theredulycamethecharmofcallingatthecollegedoorforher;

  heremergenceinanunlikesimplicityofcostumethatwasratherenforcedthandesired;thetraipsingalongtothestation,theporters’`B’yourleave!,’thescreamingofthetrains-everythingformedthebasisofabeautifulcrystallization。NobodystaredatSue,becauseshewassoplainlydressed,whichcomfortedJudeinthethoughtthatonlyhimselfknewthecharmsthosehabilimentssubdued。Amatteroftenpoundsspentinadrapery-shop,whichhadnoconnectionwithherreallifeorherrealself,wouldhavesetallMelchesterstaring。Theguardofthetrainthoughttheywerelovers,andputthemintoacompartmentallbythemselves。

  `That’sagoodintentionwasted!’saidshe。

  Judedidnotrespond。Hethoughttheremarkunnecessarilycruel,andpartlyuntrue。

  Theyreachedtheparkandcastleandwanderedthroughthepicture-galleries,JudestoppingbypreferenceinfrontofthedevotionalpicturesbyDelSarto,GuidoReni,Spagnoletto,Sassoferrato,CarloDolci,andothers。

  Suepausedpatientlybesidehim,andstolecriticallooksintohisfaceas,regardingtheVirgins,HolyFamilies,andSaints,itgrewreverentandabstracted。Whenshehadthoroughlyestimatedhimatthis,shewouldmoveonandwaitforhimbeforeaLelyorReynolds。Itwasevidentthathercousindeeplyinterestedher,asonemightbeinterestedinamanpuzzlingouthiswayalongalabyrinthfromwhichonehadone’sselfescaped。

  WhentheycameoutalongtimestillremainedtothemandJudeproposedthatassoonastheyhadhadsomethingtoeattheyshouldwalkacrossthehighcountrytothenorthoftheirpresentposition,andinterceptthetrainofanotherrailwayleadingbacktoMelchester,atastationaboutsevenmilesoff。Sue,whowasinclinedforanyadventurethatwouldintensifythesenseofherday’sfreedom,readilyagreed;andawaytheywent,leavingtheadjoiningstationbehindthem。

  Itwasindeedopencountry,wideandhigh。Theytalkedandboundedon,Judecuttingfromalittlecovertalongwalking-stickforSueastallasherself,withagreatcrook,whichmadeherlooklikeashepherdess。

点击下载App,搜索"Jude the Obscure",免费读到尾