第12章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Jude the Obscure",免费读到尾

  Passingoutintothestreetsonthiserrandhefoundthatthecollegeshadtreacherouslychangedtheirsympatheticcountenances:somewerepompous;somehadputonthelookoffamilyvaultsaboveground;somethingbarbaricloomedinthemasonriesofall。Thespiritsofthegreatmenhaddisappeared。

  Thenumberlessarchitecturalpagesaroundhimheread,naturally,lessasanartist-criticoftheirformsthanasanartizanandcomradeofthedeadhandicraftsmenwhosemuscleshadactuallyexecutedthoseforms。

  Heexaminedthemouldings,strokedthemasonewhoknewtheirbeginning,saidtheyweredifficultoreasyintheworking,hadtakenlittleormuchtime,weretryingtothearm,orconvenienttothetool。

  Whatatnighthadbeenperfectandidealwasbydaythemoreorlessdefectivereal。Cruelties,insults,had,heperceived,beeninflictedontheagederections。Theconditionofseveralmovedhimashewouldhavebeenmovedbymaimedsentientbeings。Theywerewounded,broken,sloughingofftheiroutershapeinthedeadlystruggleagainstyears,weather,andman。

  Therottennessofthesehistoricaldocumentsremindedhimthathewasnot,afterall,hasteningontobeginthemorningpracticallyashehadintended。Hehadcometowork,andtolivebywork,andthemorninghadnearlygone。Itwas,inonesense,encouragingtothinkthatinaplaceofcrumblingstonestheremustbeplentyforoneofhistradetodointhebusinessofrenovation。Heaskedhiswaytotheworkyardofthestone-masonwhosenamehadbeengivenhimatAlfredston;andsoonheardthefamiliarsoundoftherubbersandchisels。

  Theyardwasalittlecentreofregeneration。Here,withkeenedgesandsmoothcurves,wereformsintheexactlikenessofthosehehadseenabradedandtime-eatenonthewalls。Theseweretheideasinmodernprosewhichthelichenedcollegespresentedinoldpoetry。Evensomeofthoseantiquesmighthavebeencalledprosewhentheywerenew。Theyhaddonenothingbutwait,andhadbecomepoetical。Howeasytothesmallestbuilding;howimpossibletomostmen。

  Heaskedfortheforeman,andlookedroundamongthenewtraceries,mullions,transoms,shafts,pinnacles,andbattlementsstandingonthebankershalfworked,orwaitingtoberemoved。Theyweremarkedbyprecision,mathematicalstraightness,smoothness,exactitude:thereintheoldwallswerethebrokenlinesoftheoriginalidea;jaggedcurves,disdainofprecision,irregularity,disarray。

  ForamomenttherefellonJudeatrueillumination;thathereinthestoneyardwasacentreofeffortasworthyasthatdignifiedbythenameofscholarlystudywithinthenoblestofthecolleges。Buthelostitunderstressofhisoldidea。Hewouldacceptanyemploymentwhichmightbeofferedhimonthestrengthofhislateemployer’srecommendation;

  buthewouldacceptitasaprovisionalthingonly。Thiswashisformofthemodernviceofunrest。

  Moreoverheperceivedthatatbestonlycopying,patchingandimitatingwentonhere;whichhefanciedtobeowingtosometemporaryandlocalcause。Hedidnotatthattimeseethatmediaevalismwasasdeadasafern-leafinalumpofcoal;thatotherdevelopmentswereshapingintheworldaroundhim,inwhichGothicarchitectureanditsassociationshadnoplace。Thedeadlyanimosityofcontemporarylogicandvisiontowardssomuchofwhatheheldinreverencewasnotyetrevealedtohim。

  Havingfailedtoobtainworkhereasyethewentaway,andthoughtagainofhiscousin,whosepresencesomewhereathandheseemedtofeelinwaveletsofinterest,ifnotofemotion。Howhewishedhehadthatprettyportraitofher!Atlasthewrotetohisaunttosendit。Shedidso,witharequest,however,thathewasnottobringdisturbanceintothefamilybygoingtoseethegirlorherrelations。Jude,aridiculouslyaffectionatefellow,promisednothing,putthephotographonthemantel-piece,kissedit-hedidnotknowwhy-andfeltmoreathome。Sheseemedtolookdownandpresideoverhistea。Itwascheering-theonethingunitinghimtotheemotionsofthelivingcity。

  Thereremainedtheschoolmaster-probablynowareverendparson。

  Buthecouldnotpossiblyhuntupsucharespectablemanjustyet;sorawandunpolishedwashiscondition,soprecariouswerehisfortunes。Thushestillremainedinloneliness。Althoughpeoplemovedroundhimhevirtuallysawnone。Notasyethavingmingledwiththeactivelifeoftheplaceitwaslargelynon-existenttohim。Butthesaintsandprophetsinthewindow-tracery,thepaintingsinthegalleries,thestatues,thebusts,thegargoyles,thecorbel-heads-theseseemedtobreathehisatmosphere。Likeallnewcomerstoaspotonwhichthepastisdeeplygravenheheardthatpastannouncingitselfwithanemphasisaltogetherunsuspectedby,andevenincredibleto,thehabitualresidents。

  Formanydayshehauntedthecloistersandquadranglesofthecollegesatoddminutesinpassingthem,surprisedbyimpishechoesofhisownfootsteps,smartastheblowsofamallet。TheChristminster`sentiment,’

  asithadbeencalled,atefurtherandfurtherintohim;tillheprobablyknewmoreaboutthosebuildingsmaterially,artistically,andhistorically,thananyoneoftheirinmates。

  Itwasnottillnow,whenhefoundhimselfactuallyonthespotofhisenthusiasm,thatJudeperceivedhowfarawayfromtheobjectofthatenthusiasmhereallywas。Onlyawalldividedhimfromthosehappyyoungcontemporariesofhiswithwhomhesharedacommonmentallife;menwhohadnothingtodofrommorningtillnightbuttoread,mark,learn,andinwardlydigest。Onlyawall-butwhatawall!

  Everyday,everyhour,ashewentinsearchoflabour,hesawthemgoingandcomingalso,rubbedshoulderswiththem,heardtheirvoices,markedtheirmovements。Theconversationofsomeofthemorethoughtfulamongthemseemedoftentimes,owingtohislongandpersistentpreparationforthisplace,tobepeculiarlyakintohisownthoughts。Yethewasasfarfromthemasifhehadbeenattheantipodes。Ofcoursehewas。Hewasayoungworkmaninawhiteblouse,andwithstone-dustinthecreasesofhisclothes;andinpassinghimtheydidnotevenseehim,orhearhim,rathersawthroughhimasthroughapaneofglassattheirfamiliarsbeyond。

  Whatevertheyweretohim,hetothemwasnotonthespotatall;andyethehadfanciedhewouldbeclosetotheirlivesbycomingthere。

  Butthefuturelayaheadafterall;andifhecouldonlybesofortunateastogetintogoodemploymenthewouldputupwiththeinevitable。

  SohethankedGodforhishealthandstrength,andtookcourage。Forthepresenthewasoutsidethegatesofeverything,collegesincluded:perhapssomedayhewouldbeinside。Thosepalacesoflightandleading;hemightsomedaylookdownontheworldthroughtheirpanes。

  Atlengthhedidreceiveamessagefromthestone-mason’syard-thatajobwaswaitingforhim。Itwashisfirstencouragement,andheclosedwiththeofferpromptly。

  Hewasyoungandstrong,orhenevercouldhaveexecutedwithsuchzesttheundertakingstowhichhenowappliedhimself,sincetheyinvolvedreadingmostofthenightafterworkingalltheday。Firstheboughtashadedlampforfourandsix-pence,andobtainedagoodlight。

  Thenhegotpens,paper,andsuchothernecessarybooksashehadbeenunabletoobtainelsewhere。Then,totheconsternationofhislandlady,heshiftedallthefurnitureofhisroom-asingleoneforlivingandsleeping-riggedupacurtainonaropeacrossthemiddle,tomakeadoublechamberoutofone,hungupathickblindthatno-bodyshouldknowhowhewascurtailingthehoursofsleep,laidouthisbooks,andsatdown。

  Havingbeendeeplyencumberedbymarrying,gettingacottage,andbuyingthefurniturewhichhaddisappearedinthewakeofhiswife,hehadneverbeenabletosaveanymoneysincethetimeofthosedisastrousventures,andtillhiswagesbegantocomeinhewasobligedtoliveinthenarrowestway。Afterbuyingabookortwohecouldnotevenaffordhimselfafire;andwhenthenightsreekedwiththerawandcoldairfromtheMeadowshesatoverhislampinagreat-coat,hat,andwoollengloves。

  Fromhiswindowhecouldperceivethespireofthecathedral,andtheogeedomeunderwhichresoundedthegreatbellofthecity。Thetalltower,tallbelfrywindows,andtallpinnaclesofthecollegebythebridgehecouldalsogetaglimpseofbygoingtothestaircase。Theseobjectsheusedasstimulantswhenhisfaithinthefuturewasdim。

  Likeenthusiastsingeneralhemadenoinquiriesintodetailsofprocedure。Pickingupgeneralnotionsfromcasualacquaintance,heneverdweltuponthem。Forthepresent,hesaidtohimself,theonethingnecessarywastogetreadybyaccumulatingmoneyandknowledge,andawaitwhateverchanceswereaffordedtosuchanoneofbecomingasonoftheUniversity。

  `Forwisdomisadefence,andmoneyisadefence;buttheexcellencyofknowledgeis,thatwisdomgivethlifetothemthathaveit。’Hisdesireabsorbedhim,andleftnopartofhimtoweighitspracticability。

  Atthistimehereceivedanervouslyanxiousletterfromhispooroldaunt,onthesubjectwhichhadpreviouslydistressedher-afearthatJudewouldnotbestrong-mindedenoughtokeepawayfromhiscousinSueBrideheadandherrelations。Sue’sfather,hisauntbelieved,hadgonebacktoLondon,butthegirlremainedatChristminster。Tomakeherstillmoreobjectionableshewasanartistordesignerofsomesortinwhatwascalledanecclesiasticalwarehouse,whichwasaperfectseed-bedofidolatry,andshewasnodoubtabandonedtomummeriesonthataccount-ifnotquiteaPapist。MissDrusillaFawleywasofherdate,Evangelical。

  AsJudewasratheronanintellectualtrackthanatheological,thisnewsofSue’sprobableopinionsdidnotmuchinfluencehimonewayortheother,butthecluetoherwhereaboutswasdecidedlyinteresting。

  Withanaltogethersingularpleasurehewalkedathisearliestspareminutespasttheshopsansweringtohisgreat-aunt’sdescription;andbeheldinoneofthemayounggirlsittingbehindadesk,whowassuspiciouslyliketheoriginaloftheportrait。Heventuredtoenteronatrivialerrand,andhavingmadehispurchaselingeredonthescene。Theshopseemedtobekeptentirelybywomen。ItcontainedAnglicanbooks,stationery,texts,andfancygoods:littleplasterangelsonbrackets,Gothic-framedpicturesofsaints,ebonycrossesthatwerealmostcrucifixes,prayer-booksthatwerealmostmissals。Hefeltveryshyoflookingatthegirlinthedesk;

  shewassoprettythathecouldnotbelieveitpossiblethatsheshouldbelongtohim。Thenshespoketooneofthetwoolderwomenbehindthecounter;andherecognizedintheaccentscertainqualitiesofhisownvoice;softenedandsweetened,buthisown。Whatwasshedoing?Hestoleaglanceround。Beforeherlayapieceofzinc,cuttotheshapeofascrollthreeorfourfeetlong,andcoatedwithadead-surfacepaintononeside。

  Hereonshewasdesigningorilluminating,incharactersofChurchtext,thesinglewordALLELUJH`Asweet,saintly,Christianbusiness,hers!’thoughthe。

  Herpresenceherewasnowfairlyenoughexplained,herskillinworkofthissorthavingnodoubtbeenacquiredfromherfather’soccupationasanecclesiasticalworkerinmetal。Theletteringonwhichshewasengagedwasclearlyintendedtobefixedupinsomechanceltoassistdevotion。

  Hecameout。Itwouldhavebeeneasytospeaktoherthereandthen,butitseemedscarcelyhonourabletowardshisaunttodisregardherrequestsoincontinently。Shehadusedhimroughly,butshehadbroughthimup:andthefactofherbeingpowerlesstocontrolhimlentapatheticforcetoawishthatwouldhavebeeninoperativeasanargument。

  SoJudegavenosign。HewouldnotcalluponSuejustyet。Hehadotherreasonsagainstdoingsowhenhehadwalkedaway。Sheseemedsodaintybesidehimselfinhisroughworking-jacketanddustytrousersthathefelthewasasyetunreadytoencounterher,ashehadfeltaboutMr。Phillotson。Andhowpossibleitwasthatshehadinheritedtheantipathiesofherfamily,andwouldscornhim,asfarasaChristiancould,particularlywhenhehadtoldherthatunpleasantpartofhishistorywhichhadresultedinhisbecomingenchainedtooneofherownsexwhomshewouldcertainlynotadmire。

  Thushekeptwatchoverher,andlikedtofeelshewasthere。

  Theconsciousnessofherlivingpresencestimulatedhim。Butsheremainedmoreorlessanidealcharacter,aboutwhoseformhebegantoweavecuriousandfantasticday-dreams。

点击下载App,搜索"Jude the Obscure",免费读到尾