第27章
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  Billy!’protestedAuntHannah;then,alittleseverely,shedemanded:AndwhowasitthatjustlastSeptemberwascallingthissameonly-object-in-the-worldathirdpersoninyourhome?’

  Thirdperson,indeed!AuntHannah,didI?

  DidIreallysaysuchadreadfulthingasthat?

  ButIdidn’tknow,then,ofcourse。Icouldn’tknowhowperfectlywonderfulababyis,especiallysuchababyasBertram,Jr。,is。Why,AuntHannah,thatlittlethingknowsawholelotalready。

  He’sknownmeforweeks;Iknowhehas。Andagesandagesagohebegantogivemelittlesmileswhenhesawme。Theyweresmiles——realsmiles!

  Oh,yes,Iknownursesaidtheyweren’tsmilesatthefirst,’admittedBilly,inanswertoAuntHannah’sdoubtingexpression。Iknownursesaiditwasonlywindonhisstomach。Thinkofit——

  windonhisstomach!JustasifIdidn’tknowthedifferencebetweenmyownbaby’ssmileandwindonhisstomach!Andyoudon’tknowhowsoonhebegantofollowmymovingfingerwithhiseyes!’

  Yes,Itriedthatoneday,Iremember,’

  observedAuntHannahdemurely。Imovedmyfinger。Helookedattheceiling——_fixedly_。’

  Well,probablyhe_wanted_tolookattheceiling,then,’defendedtheyoungmother,promptly。

  I’msureIwouldn’tgiveasnapforababyifhedidn’tsometimeshaveamindofhisown,andexerciseit!’

  Oh,Billy,Billy,’laughedAuntHannah,withashakeofherheadasBillyturnedaway,chinuptilted。

  BythetimeBertram,Jr。,wasthreemonthsold,Billywasunmistakablyheroldhappy,merryself,strongandwell。AffairsattheStrataoncemoreweremovingasbyclockwork——onlythistimeitwasababy’shandthatsettheclock,andthatwoundit,too。

  BillytoldherhusbandveryearnestlythatnowtheyhadentereduponaperiodofEnormousResponsibility。TheLife,Character,andDestinyofaHumanSoulwasintrustedtotheircare,andtheymustbeWise,Faithful,andEfficient。TheymustbeatonceProudandHumbleatthistheirGreatOpportunity。TheymustObserve,Learn,andPractice。FirstandforemostintheireyesmustalwaysbethiswonderfulImportantTrust。

  BertramlaughedatfirstveryheartilyatBilly’sinstructions,which,hedeclared,weresobristlingwithcapitalsthathecouldfairlyseethemdropfromherlips。Then,whenhefoundhowreallyverymuchinearnestshewas,andhowhurtshewasathislevity,hemanagedtopullhisfaceintosomethinglikesobrietywhileshetalkedtohim,thoughhedidpersistindroppingkissesonhercheeks,herchin,herfinger-tips,herhair,andthelittlepinklobesofherears——justbywayofpunctuation’tohersentences,hesaid。Andhetoldherthathewasn’treallyslightingherlips,onlythattheymovedsofasthecouldnotcatchthem。WhereatBillypouted,andtoldhimseverelythathewasabad,naughtyboy,andthathedidnotdeservetobethefatherofthedearest,mostwonderfulbabyintheworld。

  No,IknowIdon’t,’beamedBertram,withcheerfulunrepentance;butIam,justthesame,’

  hefinishedtriumphantly。Andthistimehecontrivedtofindhiswife’slips。

  Oh,Bertram,’sighedBilly,despairingly。

  You’reanolddear,ofcourse,andonejustcan’tbecrosswithyou;butyoudon’t,youjust_don’t_realizeyourImmenseResponsibility。’

  Oh,yes,Ido,’maintainedBertramsoseriouslythatevenBillyherselfalmostbelievedhim。

  Inspiteofhisassertions,however,itmustbeconfessedthatBertramwasmuchmoreinclinedtoregardthenewmemberofhisfamilyasjusthissonratherthanasanImportantTrust;andthereislittledoubtthathelikedtotosshimintheairandhearhisgleefulcrowsofdelight,withoutanybotherofObservinghimatall。AstotheLifeandCharacterandDestinyintrustedtohiscare,itistobefearedthatBertramjustplaingloriedinhisson,pokedhimintheribs,andchuckledhimunderthechinwheneverhepleased,andgaveneversomuchasathoughttoCharacterandDestiny。Itistobefeared,too,thathewasProudwithoutbeingHumble,andthattheonlyOpportunityhereallyappreciatedwasthechancetoshowoffhiswifeandbabytosomelessfortunatefellow-man。

  ButnotsoBilly。BillyjoinedaMothers’ClubandenteredaclassinChildTrainingwithanelaboratesystemofCharts,Rules,andTests。

  ShesubscribedtoeachnewMothers’Helper,’

  andthelike,thatshecameacross,devouringeachandeveryonewithaneagernessthatwastemperedonlybyavagueuneasinessatfindingsomanydifferencesofopinionamongThoseWhoKnew。

  UndeniablyBilly,ifnotBertram,wasindeedrealizingtheEnormousResponsibility,andwaskeepingeverbeforehertheImportantTrust。

  InJuneBertramtookacottageattheSouthShore,andbythetimethereallyhotweatherarrivedthefamilywerewellsettled。ItwasonlyanhourawayfromBoston,andeasyofaccess,butWilliamsaidheguessedhewouldnotgo;hewouldstayinBoston,sleepingatthehouse,andgettinghismealsattheclub,untilthemiddleofJuly,whenhewasgoingdowninMaineforhisusualfishingtrip,whichhehadplannedtotakealittleearlierthanusualthisyear。

  Butyou’llbesolonesome,UncleWilliam,’

  Billydemurred,inthisgreathouseallalone!’

  Oh,no,Isha’n’t,’rejoinedUncleWilliam。

  Ishallonlybesleepinghere,youknow,’hefinished。withaslightlypeculiarsmile。

  Itwaswell,perhaps,thatBillydidnotexactlyrealizethesignificanceofthatsmile,northeunconsciousemphasisonthewordsleeping,’foritwouldhavetroubledhernotalittle。

  William,totellthetruth,wasquiteanticipatingthatsleeping。William’snightshadnotbeenexactlyrestfulsincethebabycame。Hisevenings,too,hadnotbeenthepeacefulthingstheywerewonttobe。

  SomeofBilly’sRulesandTestswerestrenuouslyobjectedtoonthepartofhersmallson,andtheyoungmandidnothesitatetoshowit。

  Billysaidthatitwasgoodforthebabytocry,thatitdevelopedhislungs;butWilliamwasverysurethatitwasnotgoodfor_him_。Certainly,whenthebabydidcry,Williamnevercouldhelphoveringnearthecenterofdisturbance,andhealways_had_toremindBillythatitmightbeapin,youknow,orsomecruelthingthatwashurting。

  Asifhe,William,agreatstrongman,couldsitcalmlybyandsmokeapipe,orlieinhiscomfortablebedandsleep,whilethatblessedlittlebabywascryinghisheartoutlikethat!Ofcourse,ifonedidnot_know_hewascrying——HenceWilliam’santicipationofthosequiet,restfulnightswhenhecouldnotknowit。

  VerysoonafterBilly’sarrivalatthecottage,AuntHannahandAliceGreggorycamedownforaday’svisit。AuntHannahhadbeenawayfromBostonforseveralweeks,soitwassometimesinceshehadseenthebaby。

  My,buthasn’thegrown!’sheexclaimed,pickingthebabyupandstoopingtogivehimasnugglingkiss。Thenextinstantshealmostdroppedthelittlefellow,sostartlinghadbeenBilly’scry。

  No,no,wait,AuntHannah,please,’Billywasentreating,hurryingtothelittlecornercupboard。Inamomentshewasbackwithasmallbottleandabitofantisepticcotton。Wealwayssterilizeourlipsnowbeforewekisshim——

  it’ssomuchsafer,youknow。’

  AuntHannahsatdownlimply,thebabystillinherarms。

  Fiddlededee,Billy!Whatanabsurdidea!

  Whathaveyougotinthatbottle?’

  Why,AuntHannah,it’sjustalittlesimplelisterine,’bridledBilly,anditisn’tabsurdatall。It’sverysensible。My`HygienicGuideforMothers’says——’

  Well,IsupposeImaykisshishand,’interposedAuntHannah,justalittlecurtly,withoutsubjectingmyselftoaCityHospitaltreatment!’

  Billylaughedshamefacedly,butshestillheldherground。

  No,youcan’t——norevenhisfoot。Hemightgettheminhismouth。AuntHannah,whydoesababythinkthateverything,fromhisowntoestohisfather’swatchfobandtheplushballsonacaller’swrist-bag,ismadetoeat?AsifIcouldsterilizeeverything,andkeephimfromgettingholdofgermssomewhere!’

  You’llhavetohaveagerm-proofroomforhim,’laughedAliceGreggory,playfullysnappingherfingersatthebabyinAuntHannah’slap。

  Billyturnedeagerly。

  Oh,didyoureadaboutthat,too?’shecried。Ithoughtitwas_so_interesting,andI

  wonderedifIcoulddoit。’

  Alicestaredfrankly。

  Youdon’tmeantosaytheyactually_have_

  suchthings,’shechallenged。

  Well,Ireadabouttheminamagazine,’

  assertedBilly,——howyoucouldhaveagerm-

  proofroom。Theysaiditwasverysimple,too。

  Justpasteurizetheair,youknow,byheatingittoonehundredandtenandone-halfdegreesFahrenheitforseventeenandone-halfminutes。I

  rememberjustthefigures。’

  Simple,indeed!Itsoundsso,’scoffedAuntHannah,withupliftedeyebrows。

  Oh,well,Icouldn’tdoit,ofcourse,’admittedBilly,regretfully。Bertramnever’dstandforthatintheworld。He’salwaysrushingintoshowthebabyofftoeveryTom,DickandHarryandhiswifethatcomes;andofcourseifyouopenedthenurserydoor,thatwouldletinthosegermthings,andyou_couldn’t_verywellpasteurizeyourcallersbyheatingthemtoonehundredandtenandone-halfdegreesforseventeenandone-halfminutes!Idon’tseehowyoucouldmanagesucharoom,anyway,unlessyouhadasystemof——

  ofroomslikelocks,sameastheydoforwaterincanals。’

  Oh,mygriefandconscience——locks,indeed!’almostgroanedAuntHannah。Here,Alice,willyoupleasetakethischild——thatis,ifyouhaveagerm-proofcertificateaboutyoutoshowtohismother。Iwanttotakeoffmybonnetandgloves。’

  Takehim?OfcourseI’lltakehim,’laughedAlice;andrightunderhismother’snose,too,’

  sheadded,withaplayfulgrimaceatBilly。Andwe’llmakepat-a-cakes,andsendthelittlepigstomarket,andhavesuchabeautifultimethatwe’llforgetthereeverwassuchathingintheworldasanoldgerm。Eh,babykins?’

  Babykins’cooedhisunqualifiedapprovalofthisplan;buthismotherlookedtroubled。

  That’sallright,Alice。Youmayplaywithhim,’shefrowneddoubtfully;butyoumustn’tdoitlong,youknow——notoverfiveminutes。’

  Fiveminutes!Well,Ilikethat,whenI’vecomeallthewayfromBostonpurposelytoseehim,’poutedAlice。What’sthematternow?

  Timeforhisnap?’

  Oh,no,notfor——thirteenminutes,’repliedBilly,consultingthewatchatherbelt。ButweneverplaywithBabymorethanfiveminutesatatime。My`ScientificCareofInfants’saysitisn’twise;thatwithsomebabiesit’spositivelydangerous,untilafterthey’resixmonthsold。Itmakesthemnervous,andforcestheirmind,youknow,’sheexplainedanxiously。Soofcoursewe’dwanttobecareful。Bertram,Jr。,isn’tquitefour,yet。’

  Why,yes,ofcourse,’murmuredAlice,politely,stoppingapat-a-cakebeforeitwashalfbaked。

  Theinfant,asifsuspectingthathewasbeingdeprivedofhislawfulbabyrights,begantofretandwhimper。

  Poorittysing,’croonedAuntHannah,who,havingdivestedherselfofbonnetandgloves,camehurriedlyforwardwithoutstretchedhands。

  Dotheyjust’buse’em?Comeheretoyouroldauntie,sweetems,andwe’llgowalkee。Isawabow-wow——suchatunnin’ickeywickeybow-

  wowonthestepswhenIcamein。Come,wegoseeickeywickeybow-wow?’

  AuntHannah,_please!_’protestedBilly,bothhandsupraisedinhorror。_Won’t_yousay`dog,’

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