第71章
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  IcannotomitacuriouscircumstancewhichoccurredatEdensor-inn,closebyChatsworth,tosurveythemagnificenceofwhichIhadgoneaconsiderablewayoutofmyroadtoScotland。Theinnwasthenkeptbyaveryjollylandlord,whosename,Ithink,wasMalton。Hehappenedtomentionthat’thecelebratedDr。Johnsonhadbeeninhishouse。’IinquiredWHOthisDr。Johnsonwas,thatImighthearminehost’snotionofhim。’Sir,saidhe,Johnson,thegreatwriter;ODDITY,astheycallhim。He’sthegreatestwriterinEngland;hewritesfortheministry;hehasacorrespondenceabroad,andletsthemknowwhat’sgoingon。’

  Myfriend,whohadathoroughdependanceupontheauthenticityofmyrelationwithoutanyEMBELLISHMENT,asFALSEHOODorFICTIONistoogentlycalled,laughedagooddealatthisrepresentationofhimself。

  OnWednesday,March18,*IarrivedinLondon,andwasinformedbygoodMr。Francisthathismasterwasbetter,andwasgonetoMr。

  Thrale’satStreatham,towhichplaceIwrotetohim,beggingtoknowwhenhewouldbeintown。Hewasnotexpectedforsometime;

  butnextdayhavingcalledonDr。Taylor,inDean’s-yard,Westminster,Ifoundhimthere,andwastoldhehadcometotownforafewhours。Hemetmewithhisusualkindness,butinstantlyreturnedtothewritingofsomethingonwhichhewasemployedwhenIcamein,andonwhichheseemedmuchintent。Findinghimthusengaged,Imademyvisitveryshort。

  OnFriday,March20,Ifoundhimathisownhouse,sittingwithMrs。Williams,andwasinformedthattheroomformerlyallottedtomewasnowappropriatedtoacharitablepurpose;Mrs。Desmoulins,andIthinkherdaughter,andaMissCarmichael,beingalllodgedinit。Suchwashishumanity,andsuchhisgenerosity,thatMrs。

  Desmoulinsherselftoldme,heallowedherhalf-a-guineaaweek。

  Letitberemembered,thatthiswasaboveatwelfthpartofhispension。

  Hisliberality,indeed,wasatallperiodsofhislifeveryremarkable。Mr。Howard,ofLichfield,atwhosefather’shouseJohnsonhadinhisearlyyearsbeenkindlyreceived,toldme,thatwhenhewasaboyattheCharter-House,hisfatherwrotetohimtogoandpayavisittoMr。SamuelJohnson,whichheaccordinglydid,andfoundhiminanupperroom,ofpoorappearance。Johnsonreceivedhimwithmuchcourteousness,andtalkedagreatdealtohim,astoaschool-boy,ofthecourseofhiseducation,andotherparticulars。Whenheafterwardscametoknowandunderstandthehighcharacterofthisgreatman,herecollectedhiscondescensionwithwonder。Headded,thatwhenhewasgoingaway,Mr。Johnsonpresentedhimwithhalf-a-guinea;andthis,saidMr。Howard,wasatatimewhenheprobablyhadnotanother。

  WeretiredfromMrs。Williamstoanotherroom。TomDaviessoonafterjoinedus。Hehadnowunfortunatelyfailedinhiscircumstances,andwasmuchindebtedtoDr。Johnson’skindnessforobtainingforhimmanyalleviationsofhisdistress。Afterhewentaway,Johnsonblamedhisfollyinquittingthestage,bywhichheandhiswifegotfivehundredpoundsayear。Isaid,IbelieveditwasowingtoChurchill’sattackuponhim,’Hemouthsasentence,ascursmouthabone。’

  JOHNSON。’Ibelievesotoo,Sir。Butwhatamanishe,whoistobedrivenfromthestagebyaline?Anotherlinewouldhavedrivenhimfromhisshop。’

  HereturnednextdaytoStreatham,toMr。Thrale’s;where,asMr。

  Strahanoncecomplainedtome,’hewasinagreatmeasureabsorbedfromthesocietyofhisoldfriends。’IwaskeptinLondonbybusiness,andwrotetohimonthe27th,thataseparationfromhimforaweek,whenweweresonear,wasequaltoaseparationforayear,whenwewereatfourhundredmilesdistance。IwenttoStreathamonMonday,March30。Beforeheappeared,Mrs。Thralemadeaverycharacteristicalremark:——’IdonotknowforcertainwhatwillpleaseDr。Johnson:butIknowforcertainthatitwilldispleasehimtopraiseanything,evenwhathelikes,extravagantly。’

  Atdinnerhelaughedatquerulousdeclamationsagainsttheage,onaccountofluxury,——increaseofLondon,——scarcityofprovisions,——

  andothersuchtopicks。’Housessaidhe,willbebuilttillrentsfall:andcornismoreplentifulnowthaneveritwas。’

  Ihadbeforedinnerrepeatedaridiculousstorytoldmebyanoldmanwhohadbeenapassengerwithmeinthestage-coachto-day。

  Mrs。Thrale,havingtakenoccasiontoalludetoitintalkingtome,calledit’ThestorytoldyoubytheoldWOMAN。’——’Now,Madam,saidI,givemeleavetocatchyouinthefact;itwasnotanoldWOMAN,butanoldMAN,whomImentionedashavingtoldmethis。’I

  presumedtotakeanopportunity,inpresenceofJohnson,ofshewingthislivelyladyhowreadyshewas,unintentionally,todeviatefromexactauthenticityofnarration。

  Nextmorning,whilewewereatbreakfast,Johnsongaveaveryearnestrecommendationofwhathehimselfpractisedwiththeutmostconscientiousness:Imeanastrictattentiontotruth,eveninthemostminuteparticulars。’Accustomyourchildrensaidhe,

  constantlytothis;ifathinghappenedatonewindow,andthey,whenrelatingit,saythatithappenedatanother,donotletitpass,butinstantlycheckthem;youdonotknowwheredeviationfromtruthwillend。’BOSWELL。’Itmaycometothedoor:andwhenonceanaccountisatallvariedinonecircumstance,itmaybydegreesbevariedsoastobetotallydifferentfromwhatreallyhappened。’Ourlivelyhostess,whosefancywasimpatientoftherein,fidgetedatthis,andventuredtosay,’Nay,thisistoomuch。IfMr。Johnsonshouldforbidmetodrinktea,Iwouldcomply,asIshouldfeeltherestraintonlytwiceaday;butlittlevariationsinnarrativemusthappenathousandtimesaday,ifoneisnotperpetuallywatching。’JOHNSON。’Well,Madam,andyouOUGHTtobeperpetuallywatching。Itismorefromcarelessnessabouttruththanfromintentionallying,thatthereissomuchfalsehoodintheworld。’

  Hewasindeedsomuchimpressedwiththeprevalenceoffalsehood,voluntaryorunintentional,thatIneverknewanypersonwhouponhearinganextraordinarycircumstancetold,discoveredmoreoftheincredulusodi。Hewouldsay,withasignificantlookanddecisivetone,’Itisnotso。Donottellthisagain。’Heinculcateduponallhisfriendstheimportanceofperpetualvigilanceagainsttheslightestdegreesoffalsehood;theeffectofwhich,asSirJoshuaReynoldsobservedtome,hasbeen,thatallwhowereofhisSCHOOL

  aredistinguishedforaloveoftruthandaccuracy,whichtheywouldnothavepossessedinthesamedegree,iftheyhadnotbeenacquaintedwithJohnson。

  Talkingofghosts,hesaid,’Itiswonderfulthatfivethousandyearshavenowelapsedsincethecreationoftheworld,andstillitisundecidedwhetherornottherehaseverbeenaninstanceofthespiritofanypersonappearingafterdeath。Allargumentisagainstit;butallbeliefisforit。’

  Hesaid,’JohnWesley’sconversationisgood,butheisneveratleisure。Heisalwaysobligedtogoatacertainhour。Thisisverydisagreeabletoamanwholovestofoldhislegsandhaveouthistalk,asIdo。’

  OnFriday,April3,IdinedwithhiminLondon,inacompany*wherewerepresentseveraleminentmen,whomIshallnotname,butdistinguishtheirpartsintheconversationbydifferentletters。

  *TheClub。HillidentifiesE。asBurkeandJ。asSirJoshuaReynolds——ED。

  E。’Wehearprodigiouscomplaintsatpresentofemigration。Iamconvincedthatemigrationmakesacountrymorepopulous。’J。

  ’Thatsoundsverymuchlikeaparadox。’E。’Exportationofmen,likeexportationofallothercommodities,makesmorebeproduced。’

  JOHNSON。’Buttherewouldbemorepeopleweretherenotemigration,providedtherewerefoodformore。’E。’No;leaveafewbreeders,andyou’llhavemorepeoplethaniftherewerenoemigration。’JOHNSON。’Nay,Sir,itisplaintherewillbemorepeople,iftherearemorebreeders。Thirtycowsingoodpasturewillproducemorecalvesthantencows,providedtheyhavegoodbulls。’E。’TherearebullsenoughinIreland。’JOHNSON。

  smiling,’So,Sir,Ishouldthinkfromyourargument。’

  E。’Ibelieve,inanybodyofmeninEngland,IshouldhavebeenintheMinority;IhavealwaysbeenintheMinority。’P。’TheHouseofCommonsresemblesaprivatecompany。Howseldomisanymanconvincedbyanother’sargument;passionandprideriseagainstit。’R。’Whatwouldbetheconsequence,ifaMinister,sureofamajorityintheHouseofCommons,shouldresolvethatthereshouldbenospeakingatalluponhisside。’E。’Hemustsoongoout。

  Thathasbeentried;butitwasfounditwouldnotdo。’……

  JOHNSON。’IhavebeenreadingThicknesse’sTravels,whichIthinkareentertaining。’BOSWELL。’What,Sir,agoodbook?’JOHNSON。

  ’Yes,Sir,toreadonce;Idonotsayyouaretomakeastudyofit,anddigestit;andIbelieveittobeatruebookinhisintention。’

  E。’FromtheexperiencewhichIhavehad,——andIhavehadagreatdeal,——IhavelearnttothinkBETTERofmankind。’JOHNSON。’FrommyexperienceIhavefoundthemworseincommercialdealings,moredisposedtocheat,thanIhadanynotionof;butmoredisposedtodooneanothergoodthanIhadconceived。’J。’Lessjustandmorebeneficent。’JOHNSON。’Andreallyitiswonderful,consideringhowmuchattentionisnecessaryformentotakecareofthemselves,andwardoffimmediateevilswhichpressuponthem,itiswonderfulhowmuchtheydoforothers。Asitissaidofthegreatestliar,thathetellsmoretruththanfalsehood;soitmaybesaidoftheworstman,thathedoesmoregoodthanevil。’BOSWELL。’PerhapsfromexperiencemenmaybefoundHAPPIERthanwesuppose。’

  JOHNSON。’No,Sir;themoreweenquire,weshallfindmenthelesshappy。’

  E。’Iunderstandthehogsheadofclaret,whichthissocietywasfavouredwithbyourfriendtheDean,isnearlyout;Ithinkheshouldbewrittento,tosendanotherofthesamekind。Lettherequestbemadewithahappyambiguityofexpression,sothatwemayhavethechanceofhissendingITalsoasapresent。’JOHNSON。

  ’Iamwillingtooffermyservicesassecretaryonthisoccasion。’

  P。’AsmanyasareforDr。Johnsonbeingsecretaryholdupyourhands——Carriedunanimously。’BOSWELL。’HewillbeourDictator。’

  JOHNSON。’No,thecompanyistodictatetome。Iamonlytowriteforwine;andIamquitedisinterested,asIdrinknone;Ishallnotbesuspectedofhavingforgedtheapplication。IamnomorethanhumbleSCRIBE。’E。’ThenyoushallPREscribe。’BOSWELL。

  ’Verywell。Thefirstplayofwordsto-day。’J。’No,no;theBULLSinIreland。’JOHNSON。’WereIyourDictatoryoushouldhavenowine。ItwouldbemybusinesscaverenequiddetrimentiRespublicacaperet,andwineisdangerous。Romewasruinedbyluxury,’smiling。E。’IfyouallownowineasDictator,youshallnothavemeforyourmasterofhorse。’

  OnSaturday,April4,IdrankteawithJohnsonatDr。Taylor’s,wherehehaddined。

  Hewasverysilentthisevening;andreadinavarietyofbooks:

  suddenlythrowingdownone,andtakingupanother。

  HetalkedofgoingtoStreathamthatnight。TAYLOR。’You’llberobbedifyoudo:oryoumustshootahighwayman。NowIwouldratherberobbedthandothat;Iwouldnotshootahighwayman。’

  JOHNSON。’ButIwouldrathershoothimintheinstantwhenheisattemptingtorobme,thanafterwardsswearagainsthimattheOld-

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