第48章
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  Itiswonderfulthathehasbeenabletowritesuchvarietyofthem。’

  AtMr。Beauclerk’s,whereIsupped,wasMr。Garrick,whomImadehappywithJohnson’spraiseofhisprologues;andIsuppose,ingratitudetohim,hetookuponeofhisfavouritetopicks,thenationalityoftheScotch,whichhemaintainedinapleasantmanner,withtheaidofalittlepoeticalfiction。’Come,come,don’tdenyit:theyarereallynational。Why,now,theAdamsareasliberal-mindedmenasanyintheworld:but,Idon’tknowhowitis,alltheirworkmenareScotch。Youare,tobesure,wonderfullyfreefromthatnationality:butsoithappens,thatyouemploytheonlyScotchshoe-blackinLondon。’Heimitatedthemannerofhisoldmasterwithludicrousexaggeration;repeating,withpausesandhalf-whistlingsinterjected,’Oshominisublimededit,——caelumquetueriJussit,——eterectosadsidera——tollerevultus’;

  lookingdownwardsallthetime,and,whilepronouncingthefourlastwords,absolutelytouchingthegroundwithakindofcontortedgesticulation。

  Garrick,however,whenhepleased,couldimitateJohnsonveryexactly;forthatgreatactor,withhisdistinguishedpowersofexpressionwhichweresouniversallyadmired,possessedalsoanadmirabletalentofmimickry。HewasalwaysjealousthatJohnsonspokelightlyofhim。Irecollecthisexhibitinghimtomeoneday,asifsaying,’Davyhassomeconvivialpleasantryabouthim,but’tisafutilefellow;’whichheutteredperfectlywiththetoneandairofJohnson。

  Icannottoofrequentlyrequestofmyreaders,whiletheyperusemyaccountofJohnson’sconversation,toendeavourtokeepinmindhisdeliberateandstrongutterance。Hismodeofspeakingwasindeedveryimpressive;andIwishitcouldbepreservedasmusickiswritten,accordingtotheveryingeniousmethodofMr。Steele,whohasshewnhowtherecitationofMr。Garrick,andothereminentspeakers,mightbetransmittedtoposterityINSCORE。

  NextdayIdinedwithJohnsonatMr。Thrale’s。HeattackedGray,callinghim’adullfellow。’BOSWELL。’Iunderstandhewasreserved,andmightappeardullincompany;butsurelyhewasnotdullinpoetry。’JOHNSON。’Sir,hewasdullincompany,dullinhiscloset,dulleverywhere。Hewasdullinanewway,andthatmademanypeoplethinkhimGREAT。Hewasamechanicalpoet。’Hethenrepeatedsomeludicrouslines,whichhaveescapedmymemory,andsaid,’IsnotthatGREAT,likehisOdes?’Mrs。ThralemaintainedthathisOdesweremelodious;uponwhichheexclaimed,’Weavethewarp,andweavethewoof;’——

  Iadded,inasolemntone,’Thewinding-sheetofEdward’srace。’

  ’THEREisagoodline。’’Ay,saidhe,andthenextlineisagoodone,’pronouncingitcontemptuously;

  ’Giveamplevergeandroomenough。’——

  ’No,Sir,therearebuttwogoodstanzasinGray’spoetry,whichareinhisElegyinaCountryChurch-yard。’Hethenrepeatedthestanza,’Forwhotodumbforgetfulnessaprey,’&c。

  mistakingoneword;forinsteadofprecinctshesaidconfines。Headded,’TheotherstanzaIforget。’

  Ayoungladywhohadmarriedamanmuchherinferiourinrankbeingmentioned,aquestionarosehowawoman’srelationsshouldbehavetoherinsuchasituation;and,whileIrecapitulatethedebate,andrecollectwhathassincehappened,Icannotbutbestruckinamannerthatdelicacyforbidsmetoexpress。WhileIcontendedthatsheoughttobetreatedwithaninflexiblesteadinessofdispleasure,Mrs。Thralewasallformildnessandforgiveness,and,accordingtothevulgarphrase,’makingthebestofabadbargain。’

  JOHNSON。Madam,wemustdistinguish。WereIamanofrank,I

  wouldnotletadaughterstarvewhohadmadeameanmarriage;buthavingvoluntarilydegradedherselffromthestationwhichshewasoriginallyentitledtohold,Iwouldsupportheronlyinthatwhichsheherselfhadchosen;andwouldnotputheronalevelwithmyotherdaughters。Youaretoconsider,Madam,thatitisourdutytomaintainthesubordinationofcivilizedsociety;andwhenthereisagrossandshamefuldeviationfromrank,itshouldbepunishedsoastodeterothersfromthesameperversion。’

  OnFriday,March31,Isuppedwithhimandsomefriendsatatavern。Oneofthecompany*attempted,withtoomuchforwardness,torallyhimonhislateappearanceatthetheatre;buthadreasontorepentofhistemerity。’Why,Sir,didyougotoMrs。

  Abington’sbenefit?Didyousee?’JOHNSON。’No,Sir。’’Didyouhear?’JOHNSON。’No,Sir。’’Whythen,Sir,didyougo?’

  JOHNSON。’Because,Sir,sheisafavouriteofthepublick;andwhenthepublickcaresthethousandthpartforyouthatitdoesforher,Iwillgotoyourbenefittoo。’

  *VerylikelyBoswell——HILL。

  NextmorningIwonasmallbetfromLadyDianaBeauclerk,byaskinghimastooneofhisparticularities,whichherLadyshiplaidI

  durstnotdo。ItseemshehadbeenfrequentlyobservedattheClubtoputintohispockettheSevilleoranges,afterhehadsqueezedthejuiceofthemintothedrinkwhichhemadeforhimself。

  BeauclerkandGarricktalkedofittome,andseemedtothinkthathehadastrangeunwillingnesstobediscovered。Wecouldnotdivinewhathedidwiththem;andthiswastheboldquestiontobeput。Isawonhistablethespoilsoftheprecedingnight,somefreshpeelsnicelyscrapedandcutintopieces。’O,Sir,saidI,

  InowpartlyseewhatyoudowiththesqueezedorangeswhichyouputintoyourpocketattheClub。’JOHNSON。’Ihaveagreatloveforthem。’BOSWELL。’Andpray,Sir,whatdoyoudowiththem?

  Youscrapethem,itseems,veryneatly,andwhatnext?’JOHNSON。

  ’Letthemdry,Sir。’BOSWELL。’Andwhatnext?’JOHNSON。’Nay,Sir,youshallknowtheirfatenofurther。’BOSWELL。’Thentheworldmustbeleftinthedark。Itmustbesaidassumingamocksolemnity,hescrapedthem,andletthemdry,butwhathedidwiththemnext,henevercouldbeprevailedupontotell。’JOHNSON。

  ’Nay,Sir,youshouldsayitmoreemphatically:——hecouldnotbeprevailedupon,evenbyhisdearestfriends,totell。’

  HehadthismorningreceivedhisDiplomaasDoctorofLawsfromtheUniversityofOxford。Hedidnotvauntofhisnewdignity,butI

  understoodhewashighlypleasedwithit。

  IobservedtohimthattherewereveryfewofhisfriendssoaccurateasthatIcouldventuretoputdowninwritingwhattheytoldmeashissayings。JOHNSON。’WhyshouldyouwritedownMY

  sayings?’BOSWELL。’Iwritethemwhentheyaregood。’JOHNSON。

  ’Nay,youmayaswellwritedownthesayingsofanyoneelsethataregood。’ButWHERE,Imightwithgreatproprietyhaveadded,canIfindsuch?

  Nextday,Sunday,April2,IdinedwithhimatMr。Hoole’s。WetalkedofPope。JOHNSON。’Hewrote,hisDunciadforfame。Thatwashisprimarymotive。Haditnotbeenforthat,theduncesmighthaverailedagainsthimtilltheywereweary,withouthistroublinghimselfaboutthem。Hedelightedtovexthem,nodoubt;buthehadmoredelightinseeinghowwellhecouldvexthem。’

  HisTaxationnoTyrannybeingmentioned,hesaid,’IthinkIhavenotbeenattackedenoughforit。Attackisthere-action;IneverthinkIhavehithard,unlessitrebounds。’BOSWELL。’Idon’tknow,Sir,whatyouwouldbeat。Fiveorsixshotsofsmallarmsineverynewspaper,andrepeatedcannonadinginpamphlets,might,I

  think,satisfyyou。But,Sir,you’llnevermakeoutthismatch,ofwhichwehavetalked,withacertainpoliticallady,*sinceyouaresosevereagainstherprinciples。’JOHNSON。’Nay,Sir,Ihavethebetterchanceforthat。SheisliketheAmazonsofold;shemustbecourtedbythesword。ButIhavenotbeensevereuponher。’

  BOSWELL。’Yes,Sir,youhavemadeherridiculous。’JOHNSON。

  ’Thatwasalreadydone,Sir。ToendeavourtomakeHERridiculous,islikeblackingthechimney。’

  *CrokeridentifiesherasMrs。Macaulay。Seep。119——ED。

  ItalkedofthecheerfulnessofFleet-street,owingtotheconstantquicksuccessionofpeoplewhichweperceivepassingthroughit。

  JOHNSON。’Why,Sir,Fleet-streethasaveryanimatedappearance;

  butIthinkthefulltideofhumanexistenceisatCharing-cross。’

  Hemadethecommonremarkontheunhappinesswhichmenwhohaveledabusylifeexperience,whentheyretireinexpectationofenjoyingthemselvesatease,andthattheygenerallylanguishforwantoftheirhabitualoccupation,andwishtoreturntoit。Hementionedasstronganinstanceofthisascanwellbeimagined。’Aneminenttallow-chandlerinLondon,whohadacquiredaconsiderablefortune,gaveupthetradeinfavourofhisforeman,andwenttoliveatacountry-houseneartown。Hesoongrewweary,andpaidfrequentvisitstohisoldshop,wherehedesiredtheymightlethimknowtheirmelting-days,andhewouldcomeandassistthem;whichheaccordinglydid。Here,Sir,wasaman,towhomthemostdisgustingcircumstanceinthebusinesstowhichhehadbeenusedwasarelieffromidleness。’

  OnWednesday,April5,IdinedwithhimatMessieursDilly’s,withMr。JohnScottofAmwell,theQuaker,Mr。Langton,Mr。Miller,nowSirJohn,andDr。ThomasCampbell,anIrishclergyman,whomItookthelibertyofinvitingtoMr。Dilly’stable,havingseenhimatMr。Thrale’s,andbeentoldthathehadcometoEnglandchieflywithaviewtoseeDr。Johnson,forwhomheentertainedthehighestveneration。HehassincepublishedAPhilosophicalSurveyoftheSouthofIreland,averyentertainingbook,whichhas,however,onefault;——thatitassumesthefictitiouscharacterofanEnglishman。

  Wetalkedofpublickspeaking——JOHNSON。’Wemustnotestimateaman’spowersbyhisbeingable,ornotabletodeliverhissentimentsinpublick。IsaacHawkinsBrowne,oneofthefirstwitsofthiscountry,gotintoParliament,andneveropenedhismouth。

  Formyownpart,Ithinkitismoredisgracefulnevertotrytospeak,thantotryitandfail;asitismoredisgracefulnottofight,thantofightandbebeaten。’Thisargumentappearedtomefallacious;forifamanhasnotspoken,itmaybesaidthathewouldhavedoneverywellithehadtried;whereas,ifhehastriedandfailed,thereisnothingtobesaidforhim。’Whythen,I

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