第15章
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  Abouttheyear17——,havingbeenappointedtothelivingofC——h,I

  rentedasmallhouseinthetown,whichbearsthesamename:onemorninginthemonthofNovember,Iwasawakenedbeforemyusualtimebymyservant,whobustledintomybedroomforthepurposeofannouncingasickcall。AstheCatholicChurchholdsherlastritestobetotallyindispensabletothesafetyofthedepartingsinner,noconscientiousclergymancanaffordamoment’sunnecessarydelay,andinlittlemorethanfiveminutesIstoodreadycloakedandbootedfortheroad,inthesmallfrontparlour,inwhichthemessenger,whowastoactasmyguide,awaitedmycoming。Ifoundapoorlittlegirlcryingpiteouslynearthedoor,andaftersomeslightdifficultyIascertainedthatherfatherwaseitherdeadorjustdying。

  ’Andwhatmaybeyourfather’sname,mypoorchild?’saidI。Shehelddownherhead,asifashamed。Irepeatedthequestion,andthewretchedlittlecreatureburstintofloodsoftearsstillmorebitterthanshehadshedbefore。Atlength,almostprovokedbyconductwhichappearedtomesounreasonable,Ibegantolosepatience,spiteofthepitywhichI

  couldnothelpfeelingtowardsher,andI

  saidratherharshly:

  ’Ifyouwillnottellmethenameofthepersontowhomyouwouldleadme,yoursilencecanarisefromnogoodmotive,andImightbejustifiedinrefusingtogowithyouatall。’

  ’Oh,don’tsaythat——don’tsaythat!’

  criedshe。’Oh,sir,itwasthatIwasafeardofwhenIwouldnottellyou——I

  wasafeard,whenyouheardhisname,youwouldnotcomewithme;butitisnousehidin’itnow——it’sPatConnell,thecarpenter,yourhonour。’

  Shelookedinmyfacewiththemostearnestanxiety,asifherveryexistencedependeduponwhatsheshouldreadthere;

  butIrelievedheratonce。Thename,indeed,wasmostunpleasantlyfamiliartome;but,howeverfruitlessmyvisitsandadvicemighthavebeenatanothertime,thepresentwastoofearfulanoccasiontosuffermydoubtsoftheirutilityormyreluctancetore-attemptingwhatappearedahopelesstasktoweighevenagainstthelightestchancethataconsciousnessofhisimminentdangermightproduceinhimamoredocileandtractabledisposition。

  AccordinglyItoldthechildtoleadtheway,andfollowedherinsilence。Shehurriedrapidlythroughthelongnarrowstreetwhichformsthegreatthoroughfareofthetown。Thedarknessofthehour,renderedstilldeeperbythecloseapproachoftheold-fashionedhouses,whichloweredintallobscurityoneithersideoftheway;

  thedamp,drearychillwhichrenderstheadvanceofmorningpeculiarlycheerless,combinedwiththeobjectofmywalk,tovisitthedeath-bedofapresumptuoussinner,toendeavour,almostagainstmyownconviction,toinfuseahopeintotheheartofadyingreprobate——adrunkardbuttooprobablyperishingundertheconsequencesofsomemadfitofintoxication;

  allthesecircumstancesunitedservedtoenhancethegloomandsolemnityofmyfeelings,asIsilentlyfollowedmylittleguide,whowithquickstepstraversedtheunevenpavementofthemainstreet。

  Afterawalkofaboutfiveminutessheturnedoffintoanarrowlane,ofthatobscureandcomfortlessclasswhichistobefoundinalmostallsmallold-

  fashionedtowns,chill,withoutventilation,reekingwithallmannerofoffensiveeffluviae,andlinedbydingy,smoky,sicklyandpent-upbuildings,frequentlynotonlyinawretchedbutinadangerouscondition。

  ’YourfatherhaschangedhisabodesinceIlastvisitedhim,and,Iamafraid,muchfortheworse,’saidI。

  ’Indeedhehas,sir;butwemustnotcomplain,’repliedshe。’WehavetothankGodthatwehavelodgingandfood,thoughit’spoorenough,itis,yourhonour。’

  Poorchild!thoughtI,howmanyanolderheadmightlearnwisdomfromthee——howmanyaluxuriousphilosopher,whoisskilledtopreachbutnottosuffer,mightnotthypatientwordsputtotheblush!Themannerandlanguageofthischildwerealikeaboveheryearsandstation;and,indeed,inallcasesinwhichthecaresandsorrowsoflifehaveanticipatedtheirusualdate,andhavefallen,astheysometimesdo,withmelancholyprematuritytothelotofchildhood,Ihaveobservedtheresulttohaveproveduniformlythesame。Ayoungmind,towhichjoyandindulgencehavebeenstrangers,andtowhichsufferingandself-denialhavebeenfamiliarisedfromthefirst,acquiresasolidityandanelevationwhichnootherdisciplinecouldhavebestowed,andwhich,inthepresentcase,communicatedastrikingbutmournfulpeculiaritytothemanners,eventothevoice,ofthechild。Wepausedbeforeanarrow,crazydoor,whichsheopenedbymeansofalatch,andweforthwithbegantoascendthesteepandbrokenstairswhichledupwardstothesickman’sroom。

  Aswemountedflightafterflighttowardsthegarret-floor,Iheardmoreandmoredistinctlythehurriedtalkingofmanyvoices。Icouldalsodistinguishthelowsobbingofafemale。Onarrivingupontheuppermostlobbythesesoundsbecamefullyaudible。

  ’Thisway,yourhonour,’saidmylittleconductress;atthesametime,pushingopenadoorofpatchedandhalf-rottenplank,sheadmittedmeintothesqualidchamberofdeathandmisery。Butonecandle,heldinthefingersofascaredandhaggard-lookingchild,wasburningintheroom,andthatsodimthatallwastwilightordarknessexceptwithinitsimmediateinfluence。Thegeneralobscurity,however,servedtothrowintoprominentandstartlingreliefthedeath-bedanditsoccupant。Thelightwasnearlyapproximatedto,andfellwithhorribleclearnessupon,theblueandswollenfeaturesofthedrunkard。Ididnotthinkitpossiblethatahumancountenancecouldlooksoterrific。

  Thelipswereblackanddrawnapart;theteethwerefirmlyset;theeyesalittleunclosed,andnothingbutthewhitesappearing。

  Everyfeaturewasfixedandlivid,andthewholefaceworeaghastlyandrigidexpressionofdespairingterrorsuchasI

  neversawequalled。Hishandswerecrosseduponhisbreast,andfirmlyclenched;while,asiftoaddtothecorpse-likeeffectofthewhole,somewhitecloths,dippedinwater,werewoundabouttheforeheadandtemples。

  AssoonasIcouldremovemyeyesfromthishorriblespectacle,IobservedmyfriendDr。D——,oneofthemosthumaneofahumaneprofession,standingbythebedside。

  Hehadbeenattempting,butunsuccessfully,tobleedthepatient,andhadnowappliedhisfingertothepulse。

  ’Isthereanyhope?’Iinquiredinawhisper。

  Ashakeoftheheadwasthereply。

  Therewasapausewhilehecontinuedtoholdthewrist;buthewaitedinvainforthethroboflife——itwasnotthere:andwhenheletgothehand,itfellstifflybackintoitsformerpositionupontheother。

  ’Themanisdead,’saidthephysician,asheturnedfromthebedwheretheterriblefigurelay。

  Dead!thoughtI,scarcelyventuringtolookuponthetremendousandrevoltingspectacle。Dead!withoutanhourforrepentance,evenamomentforreflection;

  deadIwithouttheriteswhicheventhebestshouldhave。Isthereahopeforhim?Theglaringeyeball,thegrinningmouth,thedistortedbrow——thatunutterablelookinwhichapainterwouldhavesoughttoembodythefixeddespairofthenethermosthell。Theseweremyanswer。

  Thepoorwifesatatalittledistance,cryingasifherheartwouldbreak——theyoungerchildrenclusteredroundthebed,lookingwithwonderingcuriosityupontheformofdeathneverseenbefore。

  Whenthefirsttumultofuncontrollablesorrowhadpassedaway,availingmyselfofthesolemnityandimpressivenessofthescene,Idesiredtheheart-strickenfamilytoaccompanymeinprayer,andallkneltdownwhileIsolemnlyandferventlyrepeatedsomeofthoseprayerswhichappearedmostapplicabletotheoccasion。I

  employedmyselfthusinamannerwhich,Itrusted,wasnotunprofitable,atleasttotheliving,forabouttenminutes;andhavingaccomplishedmytask,Iwasthefirsttoarise。

  Ilookeduponthepoor,sobbing,helplesscreatureswhokneltsohumblyaroundme,andmyheartbledforthem。WithanaturaltransitionIturnedmyeyesfromthemtothebedinwhichthebodylay;

  and,greatGod!whatwastherevulsion,thehorrorwhichIexperiencedonseeingthecorpse-liketerrificthingseatedhalfuprightbeforeme;thewhiteclothswhichhadbeenwoundabouttheheadhadnowpartlyslippedfromtheirposition,andwerehangingingrotesquefestoonsaboutthefaceandshoulders,whilethedistortedeyesleeredfromamidthem——

  ’Asighttodreamof,nottotell。’

  Istoodactuallyrivetedtothespot。Thefigurenoddeditsheadandlifteditsarm,Ithought,withamenacinggesture。A

  thousandconfusedandhorriblethoughtsatoncerusheduponmymind。Ihadoftenreadthatthebodyofapresumptuoussinner,who,duringlife,hadbeenthewillingcreatureofeverysatanicimpulse,afterthehumantenanthaddesertedit,hadbeenknowntobecomethehorriblesportofdemoniacpossession。

  IwasrousedfromthestupefactionofterrorinwhichIstood,bythepiercingscreamofthemother,whonow,forthefirsttime,perceivedthechangewhichhadtakenplace。Sherushedtowardsthebed,butstunnedbytheshock,andovercomebytheconflictofviolentemotions,beforeshereacheditshefellprostrateuponthefloor。

  IamperfectlyconvincedthathadInotbeenstartledfromthetorpidityofhorrorinwhichIwasboundbysomepowerfulandarousingstimulant,IshouldhavegazeduponthisunearthlyapparitionuntilIhadfairlylostmysenses。Asitwas,however,thespellwasbroken——superstitiongavewaytoreason:themanwhomallbelievedtohavebeenactuallydeadwasliving!

  Dr。D——wasinstantlystandingbythebedside,anduponexaminationhefoundthatasuddenandcopiousflowofbloodhadtakenplacefromthewoundwhichthelancethadleft;andthis,nodoubt,hadeffectedhissuddenandalmostpreternaturalrestorationtoanexistencefromwhichallthoughthehadbeenforeverremoved。Themanwasstillspeechless,butheseemedtounderstandthephysicianwhenheforbidhisrepeatingthepainfulandfruitlessattemptswhichhemadetoarticulate,andheatonceresignedhimselfquietlyintohishands。

  Ileftthepatientwithleechesuponhistemples,andbleedingfreely,apparentlywithlittleofthedrowsinesswhichaccompaniesapoplexy;indeed,Dr。D——toldmethathehadneverbeforewitnessedaseizurewhichseemedtocombinethesymptomsofsomanykinds,andyetwhichbelongedtononeoftherecognisedclasses;itcertainlywasnotapoplexy,catalepsy,nordeliriumtremens,andyetitseemed,insomedegree,topartakeofthepropertiesofall。Itwasstrange,butstrangerthingsarecoming。

  DuringtwoorthreedaysDr。D——

  wouldnotallowhispatienttoconverseinamannerwhichcouldexciteorexhausthim,withanyone;hesufferedhimmerelyasbrieflyaspossibletoexpresshisimmediatewants。Anditwasnotuntilthefourthdayaftermyearlyvisit,theparticularsofwhichIhavejustdetailed,thatitwasthoughtexpedientthatIshouldseehim,andthenonlybecauseitappearedthathisextremeimportunityandimpatiencetomeetmewerelikelytoretardhisrecoverymorethanthemereexhaustionattendantuponashortconversationcouldpossiblydo;perhaps,too,myfriendentertainedsomehopethatifbyholyconfessionhispatient’sbosomwereeasedoftheperilousstuffwhichnodoubtoppressedit,hisrecoverywouldbemoreassuredandrapid。Itwasthen,asI

  havesaid,uponthefourthdayaftermyfirstprofessionalcall,thatIfoundmyselfoncemoreinthedrearychamberofwantandsickness。

  Themanwasinbed,andappearedlowandrestless。Onmyenteringtheroomheraisedhimselfinthebed,andmuttered,twiceorthrice:

  ’ThankGod!thankGod!’

  Isignedtothoseofhisfamilywhostoodbytoleavetheroom,andtookachairbesidethebed。Sosoonaswewerealone,hesaid,ratherdoggedly:

  ’There’snouseintellingmeofthesinfulnessofbadways——Iknowitall。I

  knowwheretheyleadto——Iseeneverythingaboutitwithmyowneyesight,asplainasIseeyou。’Herolledhimselfinthebed,asiftohidehisfaceintheclothes;andthensuddenlyraisinghimself,heexclaimedwithstartlingvehemence:

  ’Look,sir!thereisnouseinmincingthematter:I’mblastedwiththefiresofhell;

  Ihavebeeninhell。Whatdoyouthinkofthat?Inhell——I’mlostforever——I

  havenotachance。Iamdamnedalready——damned——damned!’

  Theendofthissentenceheactuallyshouted。Hisvehemencewasperfectlyterrific;hethrewhimselfback,andlaughed,andsobbedhysterically。I

  pouredsomewaterintoatea-cup,andgaveittohim。Afterhehadswallowedit,Itoldhimifhehadanythingtocommunicate,todosoasbrieflyashecould,andinamanneraslittleagitatingtohimselfaspossible;threateningatthesametime,thoughIhadnointentionofdoingso,toleavehimatonce,incaseheagaingavewaytosuchpassionateexcitement。

  ’It’sonlyfoolishness,’hecontinued,’formetotrytothankyouforcomingtosuchavillainasmyselfatall。It’snouseformetowishgoodtoyou,ortoblessyou;

  forsuchasmehasnoblessingstogive。’

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