buttheonethatIhatemostistheChurchofEngland；sowhenI
gettoNewYork，afterIhaveshownthefinefellowsonthequayaspiceofme，by……theKing，I’lltossupmyhatagain，and……theChurchofEnglandtoo。’
’AndsupposethepeopleofNewYorkshouldclapyouinthestocks？’
saidI。
Thesewordsdrewuponmetheattentionofthewholefour。TheRadicalandhiscompanionstaredatmeferociously；themaninblackgavemeapeculiarglancefromunderhisslouchedhat；thesimple-lookingmaninthelabouringdresslaughed。
’Whatareyoulaughingat，youfool？’saidtheRadical，turningandlookingattheother，whoappearedtobeafraidofhim；’holdyournoise；andaprettyfellow，you，’saidhe，lookingatme，’tocomehere，andspeakagainstthegreatAmericannation。’
’IspeakagainstthegreatAmericannation!’saidI；’Iratherpaidthemacompliment。’
’Bysupposingtheywouldputmeinthestocks。Well，Icallitabusingthem，tosupposetheywoulddoanysuchthing-stocks，indeed!-therearenostocksinalltheland。Putmeinthestocks!why，thePresidentwillcomedowntothequay，andaskmetodinner，assoonashehearswhatIhavesaidabouttheKingandChurch。’
’Ishouldn’twonder，’saidI，’ifyougotoAmericayouwillsayofthePresidentandcountrywhatnowyousayoftheKingandChurch，andcryoutforsomebodytosendyoubacktoEngland。’
TheRadicaldashedhispipetopiecesagainstthetable。’Itellyouwhat，youngfellow，youareaspyofthearistocracy，sentheretokickupadisturbance。’
’Kickingupadisturbance，’saidI，’isratherinconsistentwiththeofficeofspy。IfIwereaspy，Ishouldholdmyheaddown，andsaynothing。’
Themaninblackpartiallyraisedhishead，andgavemeanotherpeculiarglance。
’Well，ifyouaren’tsenttospy，youaresenttobully，topreventpeoplespeaking，andtorundownthegreatAmericannation；butyoushan’tbullyme。Isay，downwiththearistocracy，thebeggarlyBritisharistocracy。Come，whathaveyoutosaytothat？’
’Nothing，’saidI。
’Nothing!’repeatedtheRadical。
’No，’saidI，’downwiththemassoonasyoucan。’
’AssoonasIcan!IwishIcould。ButIcandownwithabullyoftheirs。Come，willyoufightforthem？’
’No，’saidI。
’Youwon’t？
’No，’saidI；’though，fromwhatIhaveseenofthem，Ishouldsaytheyaretolerablyabletofightforthemselves。’
’Youwon’tfightforthem，’saidtheRadicaltriumphantly；’I
thoughtso；allbullies，especiallythoseofthearistocracy，arecowards。Here，landlord，’saidhe，raisinghisvoice，andstrikingagainstthetablewiththejug，’somemoreale-hewon’tfightforhisfriends。’
’Awhitefeather，’saidhiscompanion。
’He!he!’titteredthemaninblack。
’Landlord，landlord，’shoutedtheRadical，strikingthetablewiththejuglouderthanbefore。’Whocalled？’saidthelandlord，cominginatlast。’Fillthisjugagain，’saidtheother，’andbequickaboutit。’’Doesanyoneelsewantanything？’saidthelandlord。’Yes，’saidthemaninblack；’youmaybringmeanotherglassofginandwater。’’Cold？’saidthelandlord。’Yes，’saidthemaninblack，’withalumpofsugarinit。’
’Ginandwatercold，withalumpofsugarinit，’saidI，andstruckthetablewithmyfist。
’Takesome？’saidthelandlord，inquiringly。
’No，’saidI，’onlysomethingcameintomyhead。’
’He’smad，’saidthemaninblack。
’Nothe，’saidtheRadical。’He’sonlyshamming；heknowshismasterishere，andthereforehasrecoursetothesemanoeuvres，butitwon’tdo。Come，landlord，whatareyoustaringat？Whydon’tyouobeyyourorders？Keepingyourcustomerswaitinginthismannerisnotthewaytoincreaseyourbusiness。’
ThelandlordlookedattheRadical，andthenatme。Atlast，takingthejugandglass，helefttheapartment，andpresentlyreturnedwitheachfilledwithitsrespectiveliquor。HeplacedthejugwithbeerbeforetheRadical，andtheglasswiththeginandwaterbeforethemaninblack，andthen，withawinktome，hesaunteredout。
’Hereisyourhealth，sir，’saidthemanofthesnuff-colouredcoat，addressinghimselftotheoneinblack；’IhonouryouforwhatyousaidabouttheChurchofEngland。EveryonewhospeaksagainsttheChurchofEnglandhasmywarmheart。Downwithit，I
say，andmaythestonesofitbeusedformendingtheroads，asmyfriendWilliamsaysinhisRegister。’
Themaninblack，withacourteousnodofhishead，dranktothemaninthesnuff-colouredcoat。’Withrespecttothesteeples，’
saidhe，’Iamnotaltogetherofyouropinion；theymightbeturnedtobetteraccountthantoservetomendtheroads；theymightstillbeusedasplacesofworship，butnotfortheworshipoftheChurchofEngland。Ihavenofaulttofindwiththesteeples，itistheChurchitselfwhichIamcompelledtoarraign；butitwillnotstandlong，therespectablepartofitsministersarealreadyleavingit。ItisabadChurch，apersecutingChurch。’
’Whomdoesitpersecute？’saidI。
Themaninblackglancedatmeslightly，andthenrepliedslowly，’TheCatholics。’
’AnddothosewhomyoucallCatholicsneverpersecute？’saidI。
’Never，’saidthemaninblack。
’DidyoueverreadFoxe’sBOOKOFMARTYRS？’saidI。
’He!he!’titteredthemaninblack；’thereisnotawordoftruthinFoxe’sBOOKOFMARTYRS。’
’TentimesmorethanintheFLOSSANCTORUM，’saidI。
Themaninblacklookedatme，butmadenoanswer。
’AndwhatsayyoutotheMassacreoftheAlbigensesandtheVaudois，“whosebonesliescatteredonthecoldAlp，“ortheRevocationoftheEdictofNantes？’
Themaninblackmadenoanswer。
’Goto，’saidI；’itisbecausetheChurchofEnglandisnotapersecutingchurch，thatthosewhomyoucalltherespectablepartareleavingher；itisbecausetheycan’tdowiththepoorDissenterswhatSimondeMontfortdidwiththeAlbigenses，andthecruelPiedmontesewiththeVaudois，thattheyturntobloodyRome；
thePopewillnodoubtwelcomethem，forthePope，doyousee，beingverymuchinwant，willwelcome-’
’Hollo!’saidtheRadical，interfering，’whatareyousayingaboutthePope？Isay，hurrahforthePope；Ivaluenoreligionthreehalfpence，asIsaidbefore，butifIweretoadoptany，itshouldbethePopishasit’scalled，becauseIconceivesthePopishtobethegrandenemyoftheChurchofEngland，ofthebeggarlyaristocracy，andtheborough-mongersystem，soIwon’thearthePopeabusedwhileIamby。Come，don’tlookfierce。Youwon’tfight，youknow，Ihaveprovedit；butIwillgiveyouanotherchance-IwillfightforthePope，willyoufightagainsthim？’
’Ohdearme，yes，’saidI，gettingupandsteppingforward。’Iamaquietpeaceableyoungman，and，beingso，amalwaysreadytofightagainstthePope-theenemyofallpeaceandquiet；torefusefightingforthearistocracyisawidelydifferentthingfromrefusingtofightagainstthePope；socomeon，ifyouaredisposedtofightforhim。TothePopebrokenbells，toSaintJamesbrokenshells。NoPopishvileoppression，buttheProtestantsuccession。ConfusiontotheGroyne，hurrahfortheBoyne，forthearmyatClonmel，andtheProtestantyounggentlemenwholivethereaswell。’
’AnOrangeman，’saidthemaninblack。
’NotaPlatitude，’saidI。
Themaninblackgaveaslightstart。
’Amongstthatfamily，’saidI，’nodoubt，somethingmaybedone，butamongsttheMethodistpreachersIshouldconceivethatthesuccesswouldnotbegreat。’
Themaninblacksatquitestill。
’Especiallyamongstthosewhohavewives，’Iadded。
Themaninblackstretchedhishandtowardshisginandwater。
’However，’saidI，’weshallseewhatthegrandmovementwillbringabout，andtheresultsofthelessonsinelocution。’
Themaninblackliftedtheglassuptohismouth，and，indoingso，letthespoonfall。
’Butwhathasthistodowiththemainquestion？’saidI；’IamwaitingheretofightagainstthePope。’
’Come，Hunter，’saidthecompanionofthemaninthesnuffcolouredcoat，’getup，andfightforthePope。’
’Idon’tcarefortheyoungfellow，’saidthemaninthesnuff-
colouredcoat。
’Iknowyoudon’t，’saidtheother，’sogetup，andservehimout。’
’Icouldserveoutthreelikehim，’saidthemaninthesnuff-
colouredcoat。
’Somuchthebetterforyou，’saidtheother，’thepresentworkwillbealltheeasierforyou，getup，andservehimoutatonce。’
Themaninthesnuff-colouredcoatdidnotstir。
’Whoshowsthewhitefeathernow？’saidthesimple-lookingman。
’He!he!he!’titteredthemaninblack。
’Whotoldyoutointerfere？’saidtheRadical，turningferociouslytowardsthesimple-lookingman；’sayanotherwordandI’ll-’
’Andyou!’saidhe，addressinghimselftothemaninblack，’aprettyfellowyoutoturnagainstme，afterIhadtakenyourpart。
Itellyouwhat，youmayfightforyourself。I’llseeyouandyourPopeinthepitofEldonbeforeIfightforeitherofyou，somakethemostofit。’