Primitivehabits-Rosy-faceddamsel-Apleasantmoment-Suitofblack-Thefurtiveglance-Themightyround-Degeneratetimes-
Thenewspaper-Theevilchance-Icongratulateyou。
’YOUNGgentleman，’saidthehugefatlandlord，’youarecomeattherighttime；dinnerwillbetakenupinafewminutes，andsuchadinner，’hecontinued，rubbinghishands，’asyouwillnotseeeverydayinthesetimes。’
’Iamhotanddusty，’saidI，’andshouldwishtocoolmyhandsandface。’
’Jenny!’saidthehugelandlord，withtheutmostgravity，’showthegentlemanintonumberseven，thathemaywashhishandsandface。’
’Bynomeans，’saidI，’Iamapersonofprimitivehabits，andthereisnothinglikethepumpinweatherlikethis。’
’Jenny，’saidthelandlord，withthesamegravityasbefore，’gowiththeyounggentlemantothepumpinthebackkitchen，andtakeacleantowelalongwithyou。’
Thereupontherosy-facedclean-lookingdamselwenttoadrawer，andproducingalarge，thick，butsnowywhitetowel，shenoddedtometofollowher；whereuponIfollowedJennythroughalongpassageintothebackkitchen。
Andattheendofthebackkitchentherestoodapump；andgoingtoitIplacedmyhandsbeneaththespout，andsaid，’Pump，Jenny’；
andJennyincontinently，withoutlayingdownthetowel，pumpedwithonehand，andIwashedandcooledmyheatedhands。
And，whenmyhandswerewashedandcooled，Itookoffmyneckcloth，and，unbuttoningmyshirtcollar，Iplacedmyheadbeneaththespoutofthepump，andIsaiduntoJenny，’Now，Jenny，laydownthetowel，andpumpforyourlife。’
ThereuponJenny，placingthetowelonalinen-horse，tookthehandleofthepumpwithbothhandsandpumpedovermyheadashandmaidhadneverpumpedbefore；sothatthewaterpouredintorrentsfrommyhead，myface，andmyhairdownuponthebrickfloor。
And，afterthelapseofsomewhatmorethanaminute，Icalledoutwithahalf-strangledvoice，’Hold，Jenny!’andJennydesisted。I
stoodforafewmomentstorecovermybreath，thentakingthetowelwhichJennyproffered，Idriedcomposedlymyhandsandhead，myfaceandhair；then，returningthetoweltoJenny，Igaveadeepsighandsaid，’Surelythisisoneofthepleasantmomentsoflife。’
Then，havingsetmydresstorights，andcombedmyhairwithapocketcomb，IfollowedJenny，whoconductedmebackthroughthelongpassage，andshowedmeintoaneatsandedparlourontheground-floor。
Isatdownbyawindowwhichlookedoutuponthedustystreet；
presentlyincamethehandmaid，andcommencedlayingthetable-
cloth。’ShallIspreadthetableforone，sir，’saidshe，’ordoyouexpectanybodytodinewithyou？’’Ican’tsaythatIexpectanybody，’saidI，laughinginwardlytomyself；’however，ifyoupleaseyoucanlayfortwo，sothatifanyacquaintanceofmineshouldchancetostepin，hemayfindaknifeandforkreadyforhim。’
SoIsatbythewindow，sometimeslookingoutuponthedustystreet，andnowglancingatcertainold-fashionedprintswhichadornedthewalloveragainstme。Ifellintoakindofdoze，fromwhichIwasalmostinstantlyawakenedbytheopeningofthedoor。
Dinner，thoughtI；andIsatuprightinmychair。No；amanofthemiddleage，andratherabovethemiddleheight，dressedinaplainsuitofblack，madehisappearance，andsatdowninachairatsomedistancefromme，butneartothetable，andappearedtobelostinthought。
’Theweatherisverywarm，sir，’saidI。
’Very，’saidthestranger，laconically，lookingatmeforthefirsttime。
’Wouldyouliketoseethenewspaper？’saidI，takinguponewhichlayuponthewindowseat。
’Ineverreadnewspapers，’saidthestranger，’nor，indeed，-’
Whateveritmightbethathehadintendedtosayheleftunfinished。Suddenlyhewalkedtothemantelpieceatthefartherendoftheroom，beforewhichheplacedhimselfwithhisbacktowardsme。Thereheremainedmotionlessforsometime；atlength，raisinghishand，hetouchedthecornerofthemantelpiecewithhisfinger，advancedtowardsthechairwhichhehadleft，andagainseatedhimself。
’Haveyoucomefar？’saidhe，suddenlylookingtowardsme，andspeakinginafrankandopenmanner，whichdenotedawishtoenterintoconversation。’Youdonotseemtobeofthisplace。’
’Icomefromsomedistance，’saidI；’indeed，Iamwalkingforexercise，whichIfindasnecessarytothemindasthebody。I
believethatbyexercisepeoplewouldescapemuchmentalmisery。’
ScarcelyhadIutteredthesewordswhenthestrangerlaidhishand，withseemingcarelessness，uponthetable，nearoneoftheglasses；
afteramomentortwohetouchedtheglasswithhisfingerasifinadvertently，then，glancingfurtivelyatme，hewithdrewhishandandlookedtowardsthewindow。
’Areyoufromtheseparts？’saidIatlast，withapparentcarelessness。
’Fromthisvicinity，’repliedthestranger。’Youthink，then，thatitisaseasytowalkoffthebadhumoursofthemindasofthebody？’
’I，atleast，amwalkinginthathope，’saidI。
’Iwishyoumaybesuccessful，’saidthestranger；andherehetouchedoneoftheforkswhichlayonthetablenearhim。
Herethedoor，whichwasslightlyajar，wassuddenlypushedopenwithsomefracas，andincamethestoutlandlord，supportingwithsomedifficultyanimmensedish，inwhichwasamightyroundmassofsmokingmeatgarnishedallroundwithvegetables；sohighwasthemassthatitprobablyobstructedhisview，foritwasnotuntilhehadplacedituponthetablethatheappearedtoobservethestranger；healmoststarted，andquiteoutofbreathexclaimed，’Godblessme，yourhonour；isyourhonourtheacquaintancethattheyounggentlemanwasexpecting？’
’Istheyounggentlemanexpectinganacquaintance？’saidthestranger。
Thereisnothinglikeputtingagoodfaceuponthesematters，thoughtItomyself；and，gettingup，Ibowedtotheunknown。
’Sir，’saidI，’whenItoldJennythatshemightlaythetable-
clothfortwo，sothatintheeventofanyacquaintancedroppinginhemightfindaknifeandforkreadyforhim，Iwasmerelyjocular，beinganentirestrangerintheseparts，andexpectingnoone。
Fortune，however，itwouldseem，hasbeenunexpectedlykindtome；
Iflattermyself，sir，thatsinceyouhavebeeninthisroomIhavehadthehonourofmakingyouracquaintance；andinthestrengthofthathopeIhumblyentreatyoutohonourmewithyourcompanytodinner，providedyouhavenotalreadydined。’
Thestrangerlaughedoutright。
’Sir，’Icontinued，’theroundofbeefisanobleone，andseemsexceedinglywellboiled，andthelandlordwasjustrightwhenhesaidIshouldhavesuchadinnerasisnotseeneveryday。Aroundofbeef，atanyratesucharoundofbeefasthis，isseldomseensmokinguponthetableinthesedegeneratetimes。Allowme，sir，’
saidI，observingthatthestrangerwasabouttospeak，’allowmeanotherremark。IthinkIsawyoujustnowtouchthefork；I
venturetohailitasanomenthatyouwillpresentlyseizeit，andapplyittoitsproperpurpose，anditscompaniontheknifealso。’
Thestrangerchangedcolour，andgazeduponmeinsilence。
’Do，sir，’hereputinthelandlord；’do，sir，accepttheyounggentleman’sinvitation。Yourhonourhasoflatebeenlookingpoorly，andtheyounggentlemanisafunnyyounggentleman，andacleveryounggentleman；andIthinkitwilldoyourhonourgoodtohaveadinner’schatwiththeyounggentleman。’
’Itisnotmydinnerhour，’saidthestranger；’Idineconsiderablylater；takinganythingnowwouldonlydiscomposeme；Ishall，however，bemosthappytositdownwiththeyounggentleman；reachmethatpaper，and，whentheyounggentlemanhassatisfiedhisappetite，wemayperhapshavealittlechattogether。’
Thelandlordhandedthestrangerthenewspaper，and，bowing，retiredwithhismaidJenny。Ihelpedmyselftoaportionofthesmokinground，andcommencedeatingwithnolittleappetite。Thestrangerappearedtobesoonengrossedwiththenewspaper。Wecontinuedthusaconsiderabletime-theonereadingandtheotherdining。Chancingsuddenlytocastmyeyesuponthestranger，Isawhisbrowcontract；hegaveaslightstampwithhisfoot，andflungthenewspapertotheground，thenstoopingdownhepickeditup，firstmovinghisforefingeralongthefloor，seeminglyslightlyscratchingitwithhisnail。
’Doyouhope，sir，’saidI，’bythatceremonywiththefingertopreserveyourselffromtheevilchance？’
Thestrangerstarted；then，afterlookingatmeforsometimeinsilence，hesaid，’Isitpossiblethatyou-？’
’Ay，ay，’saidI，helpingmyselftosomemoreoftheround；’Ihavetouchedmyselfinmyyoungerdays，bothfortheevilchanceandthegood。Can’tsay，though，thatIevertrustedmuchintheceremony。’
Thestrangermadenoreply，butappearedtobeindeepthought；
nothingfartherpassedbetweenusuntilIhadconcludedthedinner，whenIsaidtohim，’Ishallnowbemosthappy，sir，tohavethepleasureofyourconversationoverapintofwine。’