Iamassiduously，admirablylookedafterbyMrsBolton。Sheisaqueerspecimen。ThemoreIlive，themoreIrealizewhatstrangecreatureshumanbeingsare。SomeofthemmightJustaswellhaveahundredlegs，likeacentipede，orsix，likealobster。Thehumanconsistencyanddignityonehasbeenledtoexpectfromone’sfellow-menseemactuallynonexistent。
Onedoubtsiftheyexisttoanystartlingdegreeevenisoneself。
Thescandalofthekeepercontinuesandgetsbiggerlikeasnowball。
MrsBoltonkeepsmeinformed。Sheremindsmeofafishwhich，thoughdumb，seemstobebreathingsilentgossipthroughitsgills，whileeveritlives。
Allgoesthroughthesieveofhergills，andnothingsurprisesher。Itisasiftheeventsofotherpeople’sliveswerethenecessaryoxygenofherown。
SheispreoccupiedwithtieMellorsscandal，andifIwillletherbegin，shetakesmedowntothedepths。Hergreatindignation，whicheventhenisliketheindignationofanactressplayingarole，isagainstthewifeofMellors，whomshepersistsincallingBerthaCourts。IhavebeentothedepthsofthemuddyliesoftheBerthaCouttsesofthisworld，andwhen，releasedfromthecurrentofgossip，Islowlyrisetothesurfaceagain，Ilookatthedaylightitswonderthatitevershouldbe。
Itseemstomeabsolutelytrue，thatourworld，whichappearstousthesurfaceofallthings，isreallythebottomofadeepocean：
allourtreesaresubmarinegrowths，andweareweird，scaly-cladsubmarinefauna，feedingourselvesonoffallikeshrimps。Onlyoccasionallythesoulrisesgaspingthroughthefathomlessfathomsunderwhichwelive，faruptothesurfaceoftheether，wherethereistrueair。Iamconvincedthattheairwenormallybreatheisakindofwater，andmenandwomenareaspeciesoffish。
Butsometimesthesouldoescomeup，shootslikeakittiwakeintothelight，withecstasy，afterhavingpreyedonthesubmarinedepths。Itisourmortaldestiny，Isuppose，topreyupontheghastlysubaqueouslifeofourfellow-men，inthesubmarinejungleofmankind。Butourimmortaldestinyistoescape，oncewehaveswallowedourswimmycatch，upagainintothebrightether，burstingoutfromthesurfaceofOldOceanintoreallight。Thenonerealizesone’seternalnature。
WhenIhearMrsBoltontalk，Ifeelmyselfplungingdown，down，tothedepthswherethefishofhumansecretswriggleandswim。Carnalappetitemakesoneseizeabeakfulofprey：thenup，upagain，outofthedenseintotheethereal，fromthewetintothedry。ToyouIcantellthewholeprocess。ButwithMrsBoltonIonlyfeelthedownwardplunge，down，horribly，amongthesea-weedsandthepallidmonstersoftheverybottom。
Iamafraidwearegoingtoloseourgame-keeper。Thescandalofthetruantwife，insteadofdyingdown，hasreverberatedtogreaterandgreaterdimensions。Heisaccusedofallunspeakablethingsandcuriouslyenough，thewomanhasmanagedtogetthebulkofthecolliers’wivesbehindher，gruesomefish，andthevillageisputrescentwithtalk。
IhearthisBerthaCouttsbesiegesMellorsinhismother’shouse，havingransackedthecottageandthehut。Sheseizedonedayuponherowndaughter，asthatchipofthefemaleblockwasreturningfromschool；butthelittleone，insteadofkissingthelovingmother’shand，bititfirmly，andsoreceivedfromtheotherhandasmackinthefacewhichsentherreelingintothegutter：whenceshewasrescuedbyanindignantandharassedgrandmother。
Thewomanhasblownoffanamazingquantityofpoison-gas。Shehasairedindetailallthoseincidentsofherconjugallifewhichareusuallyburieddowninthedeepestgraveofmatrimonialsilence，betweenmarriedcouples。
Havingchosentoexhumethem，aftertenyearsofburial，shehasaweirdarray。IhearthesedetailsfromLinleyandthedoctor：thelatterbeingamused。Ofcoursethereisreallynothinginit。Humanityhasalwayshadastrangeavidityforunusualsexualpostures，andifamanlikestousehiswife，asBenvenutoCellinisays，`intheItalianway’，wellthatisamatteroftaste。ButIhadhardlyexpectedourgame-keepertobeuptosomanytricks。NodoubtBerthaCouttsherselffirstputhimuptothem。
Inanycase，itisamatteroftheirownpersonalsqualor，andnothingtodowithanybodyelse。
However，everybodylistens：asIdomyself。Adozenyearsago，commondecencywouldhavehushedthething。Butcommondecencynolongerexists，andthecolliers’wivesareallupinarmsandunabashedinvoice。OnewouldthinkeverychildinTevershall，forthelastfiftyyears，hadbeenanimmaculateconception，andeveryoneofournonconformistfemaleswasashiningJoanofArc。Thatourestimablegame-keepershouldhaveabouthimatouchofRabelaisseemstomakehimmoremonstrousandshockingthanamurdererlikeCrippen。YetthesepeopleinTevershallarealooselot，ifoneistobelieveallaccounts。
Thetroubleis，however，theexecrableBerthaCouttshasnotconfinedherselftoherownexperiencesandsufferings。Shehasdiscovered，atthetopofhervoice，thatherhusbandhasbeen`keeping’womendownatthecottage，andhasmadeafewrandomshotsatnamingthewomen。Thishasbroughtafewdecentnamestrailingthroughthemud，andthethinghasgonequiteconsiderablytoofar。Aninjunctionhasbeentakenoutagainstthewoman。
IhavehadtointerviewMellorsaboutthebusiness，asitwasimpossibletokeepthewomanawayfromthewood。Hegoesaboutasusual，withhisMiller-of-the-Deeair，Icarefornobody，nonotI，ifnobodycareforme!Nevertheless，Ishrewdlysuspecthefeelslikeadogwithatincantiedtoitstail：thoughhemakesaverygoodshowofpretendingthetincanisn’tthere。ButIheardthatinthevillagethewomencallawaytheirchildrenifheispassing，asifheweretheMarquisdeSadeinperson。
Hegoesonwithacertainimpudence，butIamafraidthetincanisfirmlytiedtohistail，andthatinwardlyherepeats，likeDonRodrigointheSpanishballad：`Ah，nowitbitesmewhereImosthavesinned!’
Iaskedhimifhethoughthewouldbeabletoattendtohisdutyinthewood，andhesaidhedidnotthinkhehadneglectedit。Itoldhimitwasanuisancetohavethewomantrespassing：towhichherepliedthathehadnopowertoarresther。ThenIhintedatthescandalanditsunpleasantcourse。`Ay，’hesaid。`folksshoulddotheirownfuckin’，thentheywouldn’twanttolistentoalotofclatfartaboutanotherman’s。’
Hesaiditwithsomebitterness，andnodoubtitcontainstherealgermoftruth。Themodeofputtingit，however，isneitherdelicatenorrespectful。
Ihintedasmuch，andthenIheardthetincanrattleagain。`It’snotforamantheshapeyou’rein，SirClifford，totwitmeforhavin’acodatweenmylegs。’
Thesethings，saidindiscriminatelytoallandsundry，ofcoursedonothelphimatall，andtherector，andFinley，andBurroughsallthinkitwouldbeaswellifthemanlefttheplace。
Iaskedhimfitwastruethatheentertainedladiesdownatthecottage，andallhesaidwas：`Why，what’sthattoyou，SirClifford？’ItoldhimIintendedtohavedecencyobservedonmyestate，towhichhereplied：
`Thenyoumunbuttonthemouthso’a’th’women。’——WhenIpressedhimabouthismanneroflifeatthecottage，hesaid：`Surelyyoumightma’eascandalouto’mean’mybitchFlossie。You’vemissedsummatthere。’
Asamatteroffact，foranexampleofimpertinencehe’dbehardtobeat。
Iaskedhimfitwouldbeeasyforhimtofindanotherjob。Hesaid：
`Ifyou’rehintin’thatyou’dliketoshuntmeoutofthisjob，it’dbeeasyaswink。’Sohemadenotroubleatallaboutleavingattheendofnextweek，andapparentlyiswillingtoinitiateayoungfellow，JoeChambers，intoasmanymysteriesofthecraftaspossible。ItoldhimIwouldgivehimamonth’swagesextra，whenheleft。Hesaidhe’dratherIkeptmymoney，asI’dnooccasiontoeasemyconscience。Iaskedhimwhathemeant，andhesaid：`Youdon’towemenothingextra，SirClifford，sodon’tpaymenothingextra。Ifyouthinkyouseemyshirthangingout，justtellme。’
Well，thereistheendofitforthetimebeing。Thewomanhasgoneaway：wedon’tknowwhereto：butsheisliabletoarrestifsheshowsherfaceinTevershall。AndIheardsheismortallyafraidofgaol，becauseshemeritsitsowell。MellorswilldepartonSaturdayweek，andtheplacewillsoonbecomenormalagain。
Meanwhile，mydearConnie，ifyouwouldenjoytostayinVeniceorinSwitzerlandtillthebeginningofAugust，Ishouldbegladtothinkyouwereoutofallthisbuzzofnastiness，whichwillhavediedquiteawaybytheendofthemonth。
Soyousee，wearcdeep-seamonsters，andwhenthelobsterwalksonmud，hestirsitupforeverybody。Wemustperforcetakeitphilosophically。Theirritation，andthelackofanysympathyinanydirection，ofClifford’sletter，hadabadeffectonConnie。ButsheunderstooditbetterwhenshereceivedthefollowingfromMellors：Thecatisoutofthebag，alongwithvariousotherpussies。
YouhaveheardthatmywifeBerthacamebacktomyunlovingarms，andtookupherabodeinthecottage：where，tospeakdisrespectfully，shesmelledarat，intheshapeofalittlebottleofCoty。Otherevidenceshedidnotfind，atleastforsomedays，whenshebegantohowlabouttheburntphotograph。Shenoticedtheglassandtheback-boardinthesquarebedroom。
Unfortunately，ontheback-boardsomebodyhadscribbledlittlesketches，andtheinitials，severaltimesrepeated：C。S。R。This，however，affordednoclueuntilshebrokeintothehut，andfoundoneofyourbooks，anautobiographyoftheactressJudith，withyourname，ConstanceStewartReid，onthefrontpage。Afterthis，forsomedaysshewentroundloudlysayingthatmyparamourwasnolessapersonthanLadyChatterleyherself。Thenewscameatlasttotherector，MrBurroughs，andtoSirClifford。Theythenproceededtotakelegalstepsagainstmyliegelady，whoforherpartdisappeared，havingalwayshadamortalfearofthepolice。
SirCliffordaskedtoseeme，soIwenttohim。Hetalkedaroundthingsandseemedannoyedwithme。ThenheaskedifIknewthatevenherladyship’snamehadbeenmentioned。IsaidIneverlistenedtoscandal，andwassurprisedtohearthisbitfromSirCliffordhimself。Hesaid，ofcourseitwasagreatinsult，andItoldhimtherewasQueenMaryonacalendarinthescullery，nodoubtbecauseHerMajestyformedpartofmyharem。Buthedidn’tappreciatethesarcasm。HeasgoodastoldmeIwasadisreputablecharacteralsowalkedaboutwithmybreeches’buttonsundone，andIasgoodastoldhimhe’dnothingtounbuttonanyhow，sohegavemethesack，andIleaveonSaturdayweek，andtheplacethereofshallknowmenomore。
IshallgotoLondon，andmyoldlandlady，MrsInger，17CoburgSquare，willeithergivemearoomorwillfindoneforme。
Besureyoursinswillfindyouout，especiallyifyou’remarriedandhername’sBertha——Therewasnotawordaboutherself，ortoher。Connieresentedthis。Hemighthavesaidsomefewwordsofconsolationorreassurance。Butsheknewhewasleavingherfree，freetogobacktoWragbyandtoClifford。Sheresentedthattoo。Heneedriotbesofalselychivalrous。ShewishedhehadsaidtoClifford：`Yes，sheismyloverandmymistressandIamproudofit!’Buthiscouragewouldn’tcarryhimsofar。
SohernamewascoupledwithhisinTevershall!Itwasamess。Butthatwouldsoondiedown。
Shewasangry，withthecomplicatedandconfusedangerthatmadeherinert。Shedidnotknowwhattodonorwhattosay，soshesaidanddidnothing。ShewentonatVenicejustthesame，rowingoutinthegondolawithDuncanForbes，bathing，lettingthedaysslipby。Duncan，whohadbeenratherdepressinglyinlovewithhertenyearsago，wasinlovewithheragain。Butshesaidtohim：`Ionlywantonethingofmen，andthatis，thattheyshouldleavemealone。’
SoDuncanleftheralone：reallyquitepleasedtobeableto。Allthesame，heofferedherasoftstreamofaqueer，invertedsortoflove。Hewantedtobewithher。
`Haveyoueverthought，’hesaidtoheroneday，`howverylittlepeopleareconnectedwithoneanother。LookatDaniele!Heishandsomeasasonofthesun。Butseehowalonehelooksinhishandsomeness。YetIbethehasawifeandfamily，andcouldn’tpossiblygoawayfromthem。’
`Askhim，’saidConnie。
Duncandidso。Danielesaidhewasmarried，andhadtwochildren，bothmale，agedsevenandnine。Buthebetrayednoemotionoverthefact。
`Perhapsonlypeoplewhoarecapableofrealtogethernesshavethatlookofbeingaloneintheuniverse，’saidConnie。`Theothershaveacertainstickiness，theysticktothemass，likeGiovanni。’`And，’shethoughttoherself，`likeyou，Duncan。’
Chapter18
Shehadtomakeuphermindwhattodo。ShewouldleaveVeniceontheSaturdaythathewasleavingWragby：insixdays’time。ThiswouldbringhertoLondonontheMondayfollowing，andshewouldthenseehim。ShewrotetohimtotheLondonaddress，askinghimtosendheralettertoHartland’shotel，andtocallforherontheMondayeveningatseven。
Insideherselfshewascuriouslyandcomplicatedlyangry，andallherresponseswerenumb。SherefusedtoconfideeveninHilda，andHilda，offendedbyhersteadysilence，hadbecomeratherintimatewithaDutchwoman。Conniehatedtheseratherstiflingintimaciesbetweenwomen，intimacyintowhichHildaalwaysenteredponderously。
SirMalcolmdecidedtotravelwithConnie，andDuncancouldcomeonwithHilda。Theoldartistalwaysdidhimselfwell：hetookberthsontheOrientExpress，inspiteofConnie’sdislikeoftrainsdeluxe，theatmosphereofvulgardepravitythereisaboardthemnowadays。However，itwouldmakethejourneytoParisshorter。
SirMalcolmwasalwaysuneasygoingbacktohiswife。Itwashabitcarriedoverfromthefirstwife。Buttherewouldbeahouse-partyforthegrouse，andhewantedtobewellahead。Connie，sunburntandhandsome，satinsilence，forgettingallaboutthelandscape。
`Alittledullforyou，goingbacktoWragby，’saidherfather，noticingherglumness。
`I’mnotsureIshallgobacktoWragby，’shesaid，withstartlingabruptness，lookingintohiseyeswithherbigblueeyes。Hisbigblueeyestookonthefrightenedlookofamanwhosesocialconscienceisnotquiteclear。
`Youmeanyou’llstayoninParisawhile？’
`No!ImeannevergobacktoWragby。’
Hewasbotheredbyhisownlittleproblems，andsincerelyhopedhewasgettingnoneofherstoshoulder。
`How’sthat，allatonce？’heasked。
`I’mgoingtohaveachild。’
Itwasthefirsttimeshehadutteredthewordstoanylivingsoul，anditseemedtomarkacleavageinherlife。
`Howdoyouknow？’saidherfather。
Shesmiled。
`HowshouldIknow？’
`ButnotClifford’schild，ofcourse？’
`No!Anotherman’s。’
Sheratherenjoyedtormentinghim。