Hecouldnotdwellonanythingbutherwords,tellingofherpassionatelove;allelsewasindistinct,norcouldhestrivetomakeitotherwise。
Shelovedhim。AndLife,nowfulloftenderimages,suddenlybrightwithallexquisitepromises,hungonabreath,theslenderestgossamerchance。Hetriedtothinkthattheknowledgeofherlovewouldsoothehimeveninhisdyinghours;butthephantomsofwhatlifewithhermightbe,wouldobtrude,andmadehimalmostgasandreelundertheuncertaintyhewasenduring。
Will’sappearancehadonlyaddedtotheintensityofthissuspense。Thefullmeaningoftheverdictcouldnotatoncepenetratehisbrain。
Hestooddizzyandmotionless。Someonepulledhiscoat。Heturned,andsawJobLegh,thetearsstealingdownhisbrownfurrowedcheeks,whilehetriedinvaintocommandvoiceenoughtospeak。HekeptshakingJembythehand,asthebestandnecessaryexpressionofhisfeeling。“Here,makeyourselfscarce!Ishouldthinkyou’dbegladtogetoutofthat!“exclaimedthegaoler,ashebroughtupanotherlividprisoner,fromoutwhoseeyescametheanxietywhichhewouldnotallowanyotherfeaturetodisplay。JobLeghpressedoutofcourt,andJemfollowedunreasoningly。Thecrowdmadeway,andkepttheirgarmentstightaboutthem,asJempassed,forabouthimtherestillhungthetaintofthemurderer。Hewasintheopenair,andfreeoncemore!Althoughmanylookedonhimwithsuspicion,faithfulfriendsclosedroundhim;hisarmwasunresistinglypumpedupanddownbyhiscousinandJob;whenonewastired,theothertookupthewholesomeexercise,whenBenSturgiswasworkingoffhisinterestinthescenebyscoldingCharleyforwalkingonhisheadroundandroundMary’ssweetheart,forasweethearthewasnowsatisfactorilyascertainedtobe,inspiteofherassertiontothecontrary。AndallthistimeJemhimselffeltbewilderedanddazzled;hewouldhavegivenanythingforanhour’suninterruptedthoughtontheoccurrencesofthepastweek,andthenewvisionsraisedupduringthemorning;aye,eventhoughthattranquilhourweretobepassedinthehermitageofhisquietprisoncell。Thefirstquestionsobbedoutbyhischokingvoice,oppressedwithemotion,was,“Whereisshe?“Theyledhimtotheroomwherehismothersat。Theyhadtoldherofherson’sacquittal,andnowshewaslaughing,andcrying,andtalking,andgivingwaytoallthosefeelingswhichshehadrestrainedwithsucheffortduringthelastfewdays。Theybroughthersontoher,andshethrewherselfuponhisneck,weepingthere。Hereturnedherembrace,butlookedaround,beyond。Exceptinghismother,therewasnooneintheroombutthefriendswhohadenteredwithhim。“Eh,lad!“shesaid,whenshefoundvoicetospeak。“Seewhatitistohavebehavedthysel!Icouldputinagoodwordforthee,andthejurycouldnagoandhangtheeinthefaceofth’characterIgavethee。WasnaitagoodthingtheydidnakeepmefromLiverpool?ButIwouldcome;
IknewIcoulddotheegood,blessthee,mylad。Butthou’rtverywhite,andallofatremble。“Hekissedheragainandagain,butlookingroundasifsearchingforsomeonehecouldnotfind,thefirstwordsheutteredwerestill——“Whereisshe?“
Fearnomorethebeato’th’sun,Northefuriouswinter’srages;Thouthyworldlytaskhastdone,Homeartgoneandta’enthywages。Cymbeline。Whiledayandnightcanbringdelight,Ornatureaughtofpleasuregive;Whilejoysabovemymindcanmove,Forthee,andtheealoneIlive:WhenthatgrimfoeofjoybelowComesinbetweentomakeuspart,Theironhandthatbreaksourband,Itbreaksmybliss——itbreaksmyheart。BURNS。Shewaswherenowordsofpeace,nosoothinghopefultidingscouldreachher;intheghastlyspectralworldofdelirium。Hourafterhour,dayafterday,shestartedupwithpassionatecriesonherfathertosaveJem;orrosewildly,imploringthewindsandwaves,thepitilesswindsandwaves,tohavemercy;andoverandoveragainsheexhaustedherfeverishfitfulstrengthintheseagonisedentreaties,andfellbackpowerless,utteringonlythewailingmoansofdespair。TheytoldherJemwassafe,theybroughthimbeforehereyes;butsightandhearingwerenolongerchannelsofinformationtothatpoordistractedbrain,norcouldhumanvoicepenetratetoherunderstanding。Jemalonegatheredthefullmeaningofsomeofherstrangesentences,andperceivedthat,bysomemeansorother,she,likehimself,haddivinedthetruthofherfatherbeingthemurderer。Longagoreckoningtimebyeventsandthoughts,andnotbyclockordial-plate,JemhadfeltcertainthatMary’sfatherwasHarryCarson’smurderer;andalthoughthemotivewasinsomemeasureamystery,yetawholetrainofcircumstancestheprincipalofwhichwasthatJohnBartonhadborrowedthefatalgunonlytwodaysbeforehadleftnodoubtinJem’smind。SometimeshethoughtthatJohnhaddiscovered,andthusbloodilyresented,theattentionswhichMrCarsonhadpaidtohisdaughter;atothers,hebelievedthemotivetoexistinthebitterfeudsbetweenthemastersandtheirworkpeople,inwhichBartonwasknowntotakesokeenaninterest。Butifhehadfelthimselfpledgedtopreservethissecret,evenwhenhisownlifewastheprobablepenalty,andhebelievedheshouldfallexecratedbyMaryastheguiltydestroyerofherlover,howmuchmorewasheboundnowtolabourtopreventanywordofhersfrominculpatingherfather,nowthatshewashisownnowthatshehadbravedsomuchtorescuehim;andnowthatherpoorbrainhadlostallguidingandcontrollingpoweroverherwords。AllthatnightlongJemwanderedupanddownthenarrowprecinctsofBenSturgis’shouse。InthelittlebedroomwhereMrsSturgisalternatelytendedMary,andweptovertheviolenceofherillness,helistenedtoherravings;
eachsentenceofwhichhaditsownpeculiarmeaningandreference,intelligibletohismind,tillherwordsrosetothewildpitchofagony,thatnoonecouldalleviate,andhecouldbearitnolonger,andstole,sickandmiserable,down-stairs,whereBenSturgisthoughtithisdutytosnoreawayinanarm-chairinsteadofhisbed,undertheideathatheshouldthusbemorereadyforactiveservice,suchasfetchingthedoctortorevisithispatient。Beforeitwasfairlylight,Jemwideawake,andlisteningwithanearnestattentionhecouldnotdeaden,howeverpainfulitsresultsprovedheardagentlesubduedknockatthehousedoor;itwasnobusinessofhis,tobesure,toopenit,butasBenslepton,hethoughthewouldseewhotheearlyvisitormightbe,andascertainiftherewasanyoccasionfordisturbingeitherhostorhostess。ItwasJobLeghwhostoodthere,distinctagainsttheouterlightofthestreet。“Howisshe?Eh!poorsoul!isthather?Noneedtoask!Howstrangehervoicesounds!Screech!screech!andshesolow,sweet-spoken,whenshe’swell!Thoumustkeepupheart,oldboy,andnotlooksodismal,thysel。““Ican’thelpit,Job;it’spastaman’sbearingtobearsuchaoneassheis,goingonassheisdoing;evenifIdidnotcareforher,itwouldcutmesoretoseeonesoyoung,and——Ican’tspeakofit,Job,asamanshoulddo,“saidJem,hissobschokinghim。“Letmein,willyou?“saidJob,pushingpasthim,forallthistimeJemhadstoodholdingthedoor,unwillingtoadmitJobwherehemighthearsomuchthatwouldbesuggestivetooneacquaintedwiththepartiesthatMarynamed。“I’dmorethanonereasonforcomingbetimes。Iwantedtohearhowyonpoorwenchwas;——thatstoodfirst。LatelastnightIgotaletterfromMargaretveryanxious-like。Thedoctorsaystheoldladyyondercan’tlastmanydayslonger,anditseemssolonesomeforhertodiewithnoonebutMargaretandMrsDavenportabouther。SoIthoughtI’djustcomeandstaywithMaryBarton,andseeasshe’swelldoneto,andyouandyourmotherandWillgoandtakeleaveofoldAlice。“Jem’scountenance,sadatbestjustnow,felllowerandlower。ButJobwentonwithhisspeech。“Shestillwanders,Margaretsays,andthinksshe’swithhermotherathome;butforallthat,sheshouldhavesomekithandkinnearhertoclosehereyes,tomythinking。““CouldnotyouandWilltakemotherhome?I’dfollowwhen——“Jemfalteredoutthusfar,whenJobinterrupted,“Lad!ifthouknewwhatthymotherhassufferedforthee,thou’dnotspeakofleavingherjustwhenshe’sgottheefromthegraveasitwere。Why,thisverynightsherousedmeup,and’Job,’saysshe,’Iaskyourpardonforwakeningyou,buttellme,amIawakeordreaming?IsJemprovedinnocent?
Oh,JobLegh!GodsendI’venotbeendreamingit!’Forthousee’stshecan’trightlyunderstandwhythou’rtwithMary,andnotwithher。Aye,aye!Iknowwhy;butamotheronlygivesupherson’sheartinchbyinchtohiswife,andthenshegivesitupwithagrudge。No,Jem!thoumustgowiththymotherjustnow,ifeverthouhopestforGod’sblessing。She’sawidow,andhasnonebutthee。NeverfearforMary!She’syoung,andwillstrugglethrough。Theyaredecentpeople,thesefolksheiswith,andI’llwatcho’erherasthoughshewasmyownpoorgirl,thatliescoldenoughinLondontown。Igrantye,it’shardenoughforhertobeleftamongstrangers。
Tomymind,JohnBartonwouldbemoreinthewayofhisduty,lookingafterhisdaughter,thandelegatingitupanddownthecountry,lookingaftereveryone’sbusinessbuthisown。AnewideaandanewfearcameintoJem’smind。WhatifMaryshouldimplicateherfather?“Sheravesterribly,“saidhe。“Allnightlongshe’sbeenspeakingofherfather,andmixingupthoughtsofhimwiththetrialshesawyesterday。
Ishouldnotwonderifshe’llspeakofhimasbeingincourtnextthing。““Ishouldnawonder,either,“answeredJob。“Folkinherwaysaymanyandmanyastrangething;andth’bestwayisnevertomindthem。Nowyoutakeyourmotherhome,Jem,andstaybyhertilloldAliceisgone,andtrustmeforseeingafterMary。“JemfelthowrightJobwas,andcouldnotresistwhatheknewtobehisduty,butIcannottellyouhowheavyandsickathearthewasashestoodatthedoortotakealastfond,lingeringlookatMary。Hesawhersittingupinbed,hergoldenhair,dimmedwithheroneday’sillness,floatingbehindher,herheadboundroundwithwettedcloths,herfeaturesallagitated,eventodistortion,withthepangsofheranxiety。Herlover’seyesfilledwithtears。Hecouldnothope。Theelasticityofhishearthadbeencrushedoutofhimbyearlysorrows;andnow,especially,thedarksideofeverythingseemedtobepresentedtohim。Whatifshedied,justwhenheknewthetreasure,theuntoldtreasurehepossessedinherlove!Whatifworsethandeathsheremainedapoorgibberingmaniacallherlifelongandmadpeopledolivetobeoldsometimes,evenunderallthepressureoftheirburden,terror-distractedasshewasnow,andnooneabletocomforther!“Jem!“saidJob,partlyguessingtheother’sfeelingsbyhisown。“Jem!“
repeatedhe,arrestinghisattentionbeforehespoke。Jemturnedround,thelittlemotioncausingthetearstooverflowandtrickledownhischeeks。
“ThoumusttrustinGod,andleaveherinHishands。“Hespokehushed,andlow;butthewordssankallthemoreintoJem’sheart,andgavehimstrengthtotearhimselfaway。HefoundhismothernotwithstandingthatshehadbutjustregainedherchildthroughMary’sinstrumentalityhalfinclinedtoresenthishavingpassedthenightinanxiousdevotiontothepoorinvalid。Shedweltonthedutiesofchildrentotheirparentsaboveallothers,tillJemcouldhardlybelievetherelativepositionstheyhadheldonlyyesterday,whenshewasstrugglingwithandcontrollingeveryinstinctofhernature,onlybecausehewishedit。However,therecollectionofthatyesterday,withitshair’sbreadthbetweenhimandafelon’sdeath,andthelovethathadlightenedthedarkshadowmadehimbearwiththemeeknessandpatienceofatrue-heartedmanalltheworryinglittleacerbitiesofto-day;andhehadnosmallmeritindoingso;forinhim,asinhismother,thereactionafterintenseexcitementhadproduceditsusualeffectinincreasedirritabilityofthenervoussystem。TheyfoundAlicealive,andwithoutpain。Andthatwasall。Achildofafewweeksoldwouldhavehadmorebodilystrength;achildofaveryfewmonthsold,moreconsciousnessofwhatwaspassingbeforeher。Buteveninthisstateshediffusedanatmosphereofpeacearoundher。True,Will,atfirst,weptpassionatetearsatthesightofher,whohadbeenasamothertohim,sostandingontheconfinesoflife。Butevennow,asalways,loudpassionatefeelingcouldnotlongendureinthecalmofherpresence。Thefirmfaithwhichhermindhadnolongerpowertograsp,hadleftitstrailofglory;forbynootherwordcanIcallthebrightlookwhichilluminatedtheoldearth-wornface。Hertalk,itistrue,borenomorethatconstantearnestreferencetoGodandHisholywordwhichithaddoneinhealth,andtherewerenodeathbedwordsofexhortationfromthelipsofonesohabituallypious。Forstillsheimaginedherselfonceagaininthehappy,happyrealmsofchildhood;andagaindwellinginthelovelynorthernhauntswhereshehadsooftenlongedtobe。Thoughearthlysightwasgoneaway,shebeheldagainthescenesshehadlovedfromlongyearsago!shesawthemwithoutachangetodimtheoldradianthues。Thelongdeadwerewithher,freshandbloomingasinthosebygonedays。Anddeathcametoherasawelcomeblessing,likeaseveningcomestothewearychild。Herworkherewasfinished,andfaithfullydone。Whatbettersentencecananemperorwishtohavesaidoverhisbier?Insecondchildhoodthatblessingcloudedbyaname,shesaidher“NuncDimittis,“——thesweetestcanticletotheholy。“Mother,goodnight!Dearmother!blessmeoncemore!