Ihavenojealousyofanyindividual。ItistheinfluenceofthefashionableworldaltogetherthatIamjealousof。
ItisthehabitsofwealththatIfear。Herideasarenothigherthanherownfortunemaywarrant，buttheyarebeyondwhatourincomesunitedcouldauthorise。
Thereiscomfort，however，evenhere。Icouldbetterbeartoloseherbecausenotrichenough，thanbecauseofmyprofession。Thatwouldonlyproveheraffectionnotequaltosacrifices，which，infact，Iamscarcelyjustifiedinasking；and，ifIamrefused，that，Ithink，willbethehonestmotive。Herprejudices，Itrust，arenotsostrongastheywere。Youhavemythoughtsexactlyastheyarise，mydearFanny；perhapstheyaresometimescontradictory，butitwillnotbealessfaithfulpictureofmymind。Havingoncebegun，itisapleasuretometotellyouallIfeel。Icannotgiveherup。
Connectedaswealreadyare，and，Ihope，aretobe，togiveupMaryCrawfordwouldbetogiveupthesocietyofsomeofthosemostdeartome；tobanishmyselffromtheveryhousesandfriendswhom，underanyotherdistress，Ishouldturntoforconsolation。ThelossofMaryImustconsiderascomprehendingthelossofCrawfordandofFanny。
Wereitadecidedthing，anactualrefusal，IhopeI
shouldknowhowtobearit，andhowtoendeavourtoweakenherholdonmyheart，andinthecourseofafewyears——
butIamwritingnonsense。WereIrefused，Imustbearit；
andtillIam，Icanneverceasetotryforher。
Thisisthetruth。Theonlyquestionis_how_？Whatmaybethelikeliestmeans？IhavesometimesthoughtofgoingtoLondonagainafterEaster，andsometimesresolvedondoingnothingtillshereturnstoMansfield。Evennow，shespeakswithpleasureofbeinginMansfieldinJune；
butJuneisatagreatdistance，andIbelieveIshallwritetoher。Ihavenearlydeterminedonexplainingmyselfbyletter。Tobeatanearlycertaintyisamaterialobject。Mypresentstateismiserablyirksome。
Consideringeverything，Ithinkaletterwillbedecidedlythebestmethodofexplanation。IshallbeabletowritemuchthatIcouldnotsay，andshallbegivinghertimeforreflectionbeforesheresolvesonheranswer，andIamlessafraidoftheresultofreflectionthanofanimmediatehastyimpulse；IthinkIam。
MygreatestdangerwouldlieinherconsultingMrs。Fraser，andIatadistanceunabletohelpmyowncause。
Aletterexposestoalltheevilofconsultation，andwherethemindisanythingshortofperfectdecision，anadvisermay，inanunluckymoment，leadittodowhatitmayafterwardsregret。Imustthinkthismatteroveralittle。Thislongletter，fullofmyownconcernsalone，willbeenoughtotireeventhefriendshipofaFanny。
ThelasttimeIsawCrawfordwasatMrs。Fraser’sparty。
IammoreandmoresatisfiedwithallthatIseeandhearofhim。Thereisnotashadowofwavering。Hethoroughlyknowshisownmind，andactsuptohisresolutions：
aninestimablequality。Icouldnotseehimandmyeldestsisterinthesameroomwithoutrecollectingwhatyouoncetoldme，andIacknowledgethattheydidnotmeetasfriends。Therewasmarkedcoolnessonherside。
Theyscarcelyspoke。Isawhimdrawbacksurprised，andIwassorrythatMrs。RushworthshouldresentanyformersupposedslighttoMissBertram。YouwillwishtohearmyopinionofMaria’sdegreeofcomfortasawife。
Thereisnoappearanceofunhappiness。Ihopetheygetonprettywelltogether。IdinedtwiceinWimpoleStreet，andmighthavebeenthereoftener，butitismortifyingtobewithRushworthasabrother。JuliaseemstoenjoyLondonexceedingly。Ihadlittleenjoymentthere，buthavelesshere。Wearenotalivelyparty。Youareverymuchwanted。ImissyoumorethanIcanexpress。
Mymotherdesiresherbestlove，andhopestohearfromyousoon。Shetalksofyoualmosteveryhour，andIamsorrytofindhowmanyweeksmoresheislikelytobewithoutyou。Myfathermeanstofetchyouhimself，butitwillnotbetillafterEaster，whenhehasbusinessintown。YouarehappyatPortsmouth，Ihope，butthismustnotbeayearlyvisit。Iwantyouathome，thatImayhaveyouropinionaboutThorntonLacey。
IhavelittleheartforextensiveimprovementstillIknowthatitwilleverhaveamistress。IthinkI
shallcertainlywrite。ItisquitesettledthattheGrantsgotoBath；theyleaveMansfieldonMonday。
Iamgladofit。Iamnotcomfortableenoughtobefitforanybody；butyourauntseemstofeeloutofluckthatsuchanarticleofMansfieldnewsshouldfalltomypeninsteadofhers——Yoursever，mydearestFanny。“
“Ineverwill，no，Icertainlyneverwillwishforaletteragain，“wasFanny’ssecretdeclarationasshefinishedthis。“Whatdotheybringbutdisappointmentandsorrow？NottillafterEaster!HowshallIbearit？
Andmypooraunttalkingofmeeveryhour!“
Fannycheckedthetendencyofthesethoughtsaswellasshecould，butshewaswithinhalfaminuteofstartingtheideathatSirThomaswasquiteunkind，bothtoherauntandtoherself。Asforthemainsubjectoftheletter，therewasnothinginthattosootheirritation。ShewasalmostvexedintodispleasureandangeragainstEdmund。
“Thereisnogoodinthisdelay，“saidshe。“Whyisnotitsettled？Heisblinded，andnothingwillopenhiseyes；
nothingcan，afterhavinghadtruthsbeforehimsolonginvain。Hewillmarryher，andbepoorandmiserable。
Godgrantthatherinfluencedonotmakehimceasetoberespectable!“Shelookedovertheletteragain。
“’Soveryfondofme!’’tisnonsenseall。Shelovesnobodybutherselfandherbrother。Herfriendsleadingherastrayforyears!Sheisquiteaslikelytohaveled_them_astray。Theyhaveall，perhaps，beencorruptingoneanother；butiftheyaresomuchfonderofherthansheisofthem，sheisthelesslikelytohavebeenhurt，exceptbytheirflattery。’Theonlywomanintheworldwhomhecouldeverthinkofasawife。’Ifirmlybelieveit。Itisanattachmenttogovernhiswholelife。
Acceptedorrefused，hisheartisweddedtoherforever。
’ThelossofMaryImustconsiderascomprehendingthelossofCrawfordandFanny。’Edmund，youdonotknowme。
Thefamilieswouldneverbeconnectedifyoudidnotconnectthem!Oh!write，write。Finishitatonce。
Lettherebeanendofthissuspense。Fix，commit，condemnyourself。“
Suchsensations，however，weretoonearakintoresentmenttobelongguidingFanny’ssoliloquies。
Shewassoonmoresoftenedandsorrowful。Hiswarmregard，hiskindexpressions，hisconfidentialtreatment，touchedherstrongly。Hewasonlytoogoodtoeverybody。
Itwasaletter，inshort，whichshewouldnotbuthavehadfortheworld，andwhichcouldneverbevaluedenough。
Thiswastheendofit。
Everybodyatalladdictedtoletter-writing，withouthavingmuchtosay，whichwillincludealargeproportionofthefemaleworldatleast，mustfeelwithLadyBertramthatshewasoutofluckinhavingsuchacapitalpieceofMansfieldnewsasthecertaintyoftheGrantsgoingtoBath，occuratatimewhenshecouldmakenoadvantageofit，andwilladmitthatitmusthavebeenverymortifyingtohertoseeitfalltotheshareofherthanklessson，andtreatedasconciselyaspossibleattheendofalongletter，insteadofhavingittospreadoverthelargestpartofapageofherown。ForthoughLadyBertramrathershoneintheepistolaryline，havingearlyinhermarriage，fromthewantofotheremployment，andthecircumstanceofSirThomas’sbeinginParliament，gotintothewayofmakingandkeepingcorrespondents，andformedforherselfaverycreditable，common-place，amplifyingstyle，sothataverylittlematterwasenoughforher：shecouldnotdoentirelywithoutany；shemusthavesomethingtowriteabout，eventoherniece；andbeingsosoontoloseallthebenefitofDr。Grant’sgoutysymptomsandMrs。Grant’smorningcalls，itwasveryharduponhertobedeprivedofoneofthelastepistolaryusesshecouldputthemto。
Therewasarichamends，however，preparingforher。
LadyBertram’shourofgoodluckcame。WithinafewdaysfromthereceiptofEdmund’sletter，Fannyhadonefromheraunt，beginningthus——
“MyDearFanny，——Itakeupmypentocommunicatesomeveryalarmingintelligence，whichImakenodoubtwillgiveyoumuchconcern“。
ThiswasagreatdealbetterthantohavetotakeupthepentoacquaintherwithalltheparticularsoftheGrants’
intendedjourney，forthepresentintelligencewasofanaturetopromiseoccupationforthepenformanydaystocome，beingnolessthanthedangerousillnessofhereldestson，ofwhichtheyhadreceivednoticebyexpressafewhoursbefore。
TomhadgonefromLondonwithapartyofyoungmentoNewmarket，whereaneglectedfallandagooddealofdrinkinghadbroughtonafever；andwhenthepartybrokeup，beingunabletomove，hadbeenleftbyhimselfatthehouseofoneoftheseyoungmentothecomfortsofsicknessandsolitude，andtheattendanceonlyofservants。
Insteadofbeingsoonwellenoughtofollowhisfriends，ashehadthenhoped，hisdisorderincreasedconsiderably，anditwasnotlongbeforehethoughtsoillofhimselfastobeasreadyashisphysiciantohavealetterdespatchedtoMansfield。
“Thisdistressingintelligence，asyoumaysuppose，“
observedherladyship，aftergivingthesubstanceofit，“hasagitatedusexceedingly，andwecannotpreventourselvesfrombeinggreatlyalarmedandapprehensiveforthepoorinvalid，whosestateSirThomasfearsmaybeverycritical；andEdmundkindlyproposesattendinghisbrotherimmediately，butIamhappytoaddthatSirThomaswillnotleavemeonthisdistressingoccasion，asitwouldbetootryingforme。WeshallgreatlymissEdmundinoursmallcircle，butItrustandhopehewillfindthepoorinvalidinalessalarmingstatethanmightbeapprehended，andthathewillbeabletobringhimtoMansfieldshortly，whichSirThomasproposesshouldbedone，andthinksbestoneveryaccount，andI