第84章
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  ’Whowillthreshitoutofyou,andstarveit,andswearitoutofyou!’wasthemeaningofmyimprecation:butLizzie,notdreamingasyetofsuchthings,couldnotunderstandme,andwasratherthankful;thereforesheansweredquietly,——

  ’Theletterisinthelittlecupboard,neartheheadofLadyLorna’sbed,wheresheusedtokeepthediamondnecklace,whichwecontrivedtogetstolen。’

  WithoutanotherwordIrushedsothateveryboardinthehouseshookuptomylostLorna’sroom,andtorethelittlewall-nicheopenandespiedmytreasure。Itwasassimple,andashomely,andloving,asevenI

  couldwish。Partofitranasfollows,——theotherpartsitbehovesmenottoopenouttostrangers:——’Myownlove,andsometimelord,——Takeitnotamissofme,thatevenwithoutfarewell,Igo;forIcannotpersuadethementowait,yourreturnbeingdoubtful。Mygreat-uncle,somegrandlord,isawaitingmeatDunster,havingfearofventuringtoonearthisExmoorcountry。I,whohavebeensolawlessalways,andthechildofoutlaws,amnowtoatoneforthis,itseems,bylivinginacourtoflaw,andunderspecialsurveillanceastheycallit,IbelieveofHisMajesty’sCourtofChancery。Myuncleisappointedmyguardianandmaster;andImustlivebeneathhiscare,untilIamtwenty-oneyearsold。Tomethisappearsadreadfulthing,andveryunjust,andcruel;forwhyshouldIlosemyfreedom,throughheritageoflandandgold?Iofferedtoabandonalliftheywouldonlyletmego;Iwentdownonmykneestothem,andsaidI

  wantedtitlesnot,neitherland,normoney;onlytostaywhereIwas,wherefirstIhadknownhappiness。

  Buttheyonlylaughedandcalledme“child,“andsaidI

  musttalkofthattotheKing’sHighChancellor。Theirorderstheyhad,andmustobeythem;andMasterStickleswasorderedtoo,tohelpastheKing’sCommissioner。Andthen,althoughitpiercedmyheartnottosayone“goodbye,John,“Iwasgladuponthewholethatyouwerenotheretodisputeit。ForIamalmostcertainthatyouwouldnot,withoutforcetoyourself,haveletyourLornagotopeoplewhonever,nevercancareforher。’

  Heremydarlinghadweptagain,bythetokensonthepaper;andthentherefollowedsomesweetwords,toosweetformetochatterthem。Butshefinishedwiththesenoblelines,whichbeingcommontoallhumanity,inacaseofsteadfastloveIdonoharm,butratherhelpalltruelovebyrepeating。’Ofonethingrestyouwellassured——andIdohopethatitmayproveofservicetoyourrest,love,elsewouldmyownbebroken——nodifferenceofrank,orfortune,oroflifeitself,shallevermakemeswervefromtruthtoyou。

  Wehavepassedthroughmanytroubles,dangers,anddispartments,butneveryetwasdoubtbetweenus;

  neitherevershallbe。Eachhastrustedwelltheother;andstilleachmustdoso。ThoughtheytellyouIamfalse,thoughyourownmindharboursit,fromthesenseofthingsaround,andyourownundervaluing,yettakecounselofyourheart,andcastsuchthoughtsawayfromyou;beingunworthyofitselftheymustheunworthyalsooftheonewhodwellsthere;andthatoneis,andevershallbe,yourownLornaDugal。’

  Somepeoplecannotunderstandthattearsshouldcomefrompleasure;butwhetherfrompleasureorfromsorrowmixedastheyareinthetwistedstringsofaman’sheart,orawoman’s,greattearsfellfrommystupideyes,evenontheblotsofLorna’s。

  ’Nodoubtitisallover,’mymindsaidtomebitterly;

  ’trustme,allshallyetberight,’myheartrepliedverysweetly。

  Somepeoplemaylookdownuponusforourslavishwaysastheymaychoosetocallthem,butinourpartofthecountry,wedolovetomentiontitle,andtorollitonourtongues,withaconscienceandacomfort。

  Evenifamanknowsnot,throughfaultofeducation,whotheDukeofthisis,ortheEarlofthat,itwillneverdoforhimtosayso,lesttheroomlookdownonhim。Thereforehemustnodhishead,andsay,’Ah,tohesure!IknowhimaswellaseverIknowmyowngoodwoman’sbrother。HemarriedLordFlipflap’sseconddaughter,andapreciouslifesheledhim。’Whereupontheroomlooksupathim。ButI,beingquiteunabletocarryallthisinmyhead,asIought,wasspeedilyputdownbypeopleofanobletendency,aptatLords,andpatwithDukes,andknowingmoreabouttheKingthanHisMajestywouldhaverequested。Therefore,Ifellbackinthought,notdaringinwordstodoso,uponthetitlesofourhorses。Andallthesehorsesdeservedtheirnames,nothavingmerelyinherited,butbytheirowndoingearnedthem。Smiler,forinstance,hadbeensocalled,notsomuchfromahabitofsmiling,asfromhisgeneralgeniality,whitenose,andwhiteankle。

  Thisworthyhorsewasnowinyears,buthaleandgayasever;andwhenyoulethimoutofthestable,hecouldneighandwhinny,andmakemenandhorsesknowit。Ontheotherhand,Kickumswasahorseofmoroseandsurlyorder;harbouringuprevenge,andleadingaridertofalseconfidence。Verysmoothlyhewouldgo,andasgentleasaturtle-dove;untilhisriderfullybelievedthatapack-threadwasenoughforhim,andapatofapprovaluponhisnecktheaimandcrownofhisworthylife。Thensuddenlyupwenthishindfeettoheaven,andtheriderforthemostpartflewoverhisnose;whereupongoodKickumswouldtakeadvantageofhisfavourablepositiontocomeandbiteapieceoutofhisback。Nowinmypresentstateofmind,beingunderstoodofnobody,havingnonetobearmecompany,neitherwishingtohaveany,anindefinitekindofattractiondrewmeintoKickum’ssociety。Abondofmutualsympathywassoonestablishedbetweenus;I

  wouldridenootherhorse,neitherKickumsberiddenbyanyotherman。Andthisgoodhorsebecameasjealousaboutmeasadogmightbe;andwouldlashout,orrunteethforemost,atanyonewhocamenearhimwhenIwasonhisback。

  Thisseason,thereapingofthecorn,whichhadbeenbutayearagosopleasantandsolightsome,wasbecomeaheavylabour,andathingforgrumblingratherthanforgladness。However,forthesakeofall,itmustbeattendedto,andwithasfairashowofspiritandalacrityasmightbe。Forotherwisetherestwoulddrag,anddroptheirhandsandidle,beingquickertotakeinfectionofdullnessthanofdiligence。Andtheharvestwasaheavyone,evenheavierthantheyearbefore,althoughofpoorerquality。ThereforewasI

  forcedtoworkashardasanyhorsecouldduringallthedaylighthours,anddefertillnightthebroodinguponmymisfortune。Butthedarknessalwaysfoundmestiffwithwork,andweary,andlessabletothinkthantodream,maybe,ofLorna。Andnowthehousewassodullandlonesome,wantingAnnie’sprettypresence,andthelightofLorna’seyes,thatamanhadnotemptationaftersupper-timeeventositandsmokeapipe。

  ForLizzie,thoughsolearned,andpleasantwhenitsuitedher,neverhadtakenverykindlytomyloveforLorna,andbeingofaproudandslightlyupstartnature,couldnotbeartobeeclipsedinbearing,looks,andbreeding,andeveninclothes,bythestranger。ForonethingIwillsayoftheDoones,thatwhetherbypurchaseorplunder,theyhadalwaysdressedmydarlingwell,withherownsweettastetohelpthem。

  AndthoughLizzie’snaturalhateofthemaidasaDooneandburdenedwithfather’sdeathshouldhavebeenchangedtoremorsewhenshelearnedofLorna’srealparentage,itwasonlyalteredtosullenness,anddiscontentwithherself,forfrequentrudenesstoaninnocentperson,andoneofsuchhighdescent。

  Moreover,thechildhadimbibedstrangeideasastoouraristocracy,partlyperhapsfromherownwayofthinking,andpartlyfromreadingofhistory。Forwhile,fromonepointofviewshelookedupatthemverydemurely,ascommissionedbyGodforthecountry’sgood;fromanothersightshedislikedthem,asreadytosacrificetheirbestandfollowtheirworstmembers。

  Yetwhyshouldthiswenchdaretojudgeuponamattersofarbeyondher,andformopinionswhichsheknewbetterthandeclarebeforemother?Butwithmeshehadnosuchscruple,forIhadnoauthorityoverher;andmyintellectshelookeddownupon,becauseIpraisedherownso。Thusshemadeherselfveryunpleasanttome;bylittlejagsandjerksofsneering,spedasthoughunwittingly;whichIwhonowconsideredmyselfalliedtothearistocracy,andperhapstookairsonthataccounthadnotwitenoughtoparry,yethadwoundenoughtofeel。

  Nowanyonewhodoesnotknowexactlyhowmothersfeelandthink,wouldhaveexpectedmymotherthanwhomcouldbenobetteronetopetme,andmakemuchofme,undermysadtrouble;tohangwithanxietyonmylooks,andshedhertearswithmineifany,andseasoneverydishofmeatputbyforherJohn’sreturn。Andifthewholetruthmustbetold,Ididexpectthatsortofthing,andthoughtwhataplagueitwouldbetome;yetnotgettingit,wasvexed,asifbysomenewinjury。

  FormotherwasaspecialcreatureasIsupposeweallare,beingthewarmestofthewarm,whenfiredatthepropercorner;andyet,iftakenatthewrongpoint,youwouldsayshewasincombustible。

  HenceitcametopassthatIhadnooneeventospeakto,aboutLornaandmygrievances;forCaptainStickleswasnowgonesouthward;andJohnFry。ofcourse,wastoolowforit,althoughamarriedman,andwellunderhiswife’smanagement。Butfindingmyselfunableatlasttobearthisanylonger,uponthefirstdaywhenallthewheatwascut,andthestookssetupineveryfield,yetnonequitefitforcarrying,IsaddledgoodKickumsatfiveinthemorning,andwithoutawordtomotherforalittleanxietymightdohergoodoffI

  setforMollandparish,tohavethecounselandthecomfortofmydarlingAnnie。

  Thehorsetookmeoverthegroundsofasttherebeingfewbettertogowhenheliked,thatbynineo’clockAnniewasinmyarms,andblushingtothecolourofWinnie’scheeks,withsuddendelightandyounghappiness。

  ’Youpreciouslittlesoul!’Icried:’howdoesTombehavetoyou?’

  ’Hush!’saidAnnie:’howdareyouask?Heisthekindest,andthebest,andthenoblestofallmen,John;notevensettingyourselfaside。Nowlooknotjealous,John:soitis。Weallhavespecialgifts,youknow。Youareasgoodasyoucanbe,John;butmyhusband’sspecialgiftisnobilityofcharacter。’Hereshelookedatme,asonewhohasdiscoveredsomethingquiteunknown。

  ’Iamdevilishgladtohearit,’saidI,beingtouchedatgoingdownso:’keephimtothatmark,mydear;andcorkthewhiskybottle。’

  ’Yes,darlingJohn,’sheansweredquickly,notdesiringtoopenthatsubject,andbeingtoosweettoresentit:

  ’andhowislovelyLorna?WhatanageitissinceI

  haveseenyou!Isupposewemustthankherforthat。’

  ’Youmaythankherforseeingmenow,’saidI;’orrather,’——seeinghowhurtshelooked,——’youmaythankmyknowledgeofyourkindness,andmydesiretospeakofhertoasoft-hearteddearlittlesoullikeyou。I

  thinkallthewomenaregonemad。Evenmothertreatsmeshamefully。AndasforLizzie——’HereIstopped,knowingnowordsstrongenough,withoutshockingAnnie。

  ’DoyoumeantosaythatLornaisgone?’askedAnnie,ingreatamazement;yetleapingatthetruth,aswomendo,withnothingatalltoleapfrom。

  ’Gone。AndInevershallseeheragain。Itservesmerightforaspiringso。’

  Beinggrievedatmymanner,sheledmeinwherenonecouldinterruptus;andinspiteofallmydejection,I

  couldnothelpnoticinghowveryprettyandevenelegantallthingswerearound。ForweuponExmoorhavelittletaste;allwecareforiswarmcomfort,andplentytoeatandtogiveaway,andaheartysmackineverything。ButSquireFaggushadseentheworld,andkeptcompanywithgreatpeople;andthetastehehadfirstdisplayedintheshoeingoffarmers’horseswhichledalmosttohisruin,bybringinghimintojealousy,andflattery,anddashingwayshadnowbeencultivatedinLondon,andbymoonlight,sothatnonecouldhelpadmiringit。

  ’Well!’Icried,forthemomentdroppingcareandwoeinastonishment:’wehavenothinglikethisatPlover’sBarrows;norevenUncleReuben。Idohopeitishonest,Annie?’

  ’WouldIsitinachairthatwasnotmyown?’askedAnnie,turningcrimson,anddroppingdefiantly,andwithawhiskofherdresswhichIneverhadseenbefore,intotheverygrandestone:’wouldIlieonacouch,brotherJohn,doyouthink,unlessgoodmoneywaspaidforit?Becauseotherpeopleareclever,John,youneednotgrudgethemtheirearnings。’

  ’Acouch!’Ireplied:’whywhatcanyouwantwithacouchintheday-time,Annie?Acouchisasmallbed,setupinaroomwithoutspaceforagoodfour-poster。

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