第17章
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  ’Godhathsentthee,andnottorobme,becauseitisdonealready。’

  ’What,UncleBen!’Icried,lettinggothehorseinamazement,thattherichestmaninDulverton——’UncleBenhereinthisplight!What,Mr。ReubenHuckaback!’

  ’Anhonesthosieranddraper,sergeandlongclothwarehouseman’——hegroanedfromribtorib——’atthesignoftheGarteredKittenintheloyaltownofDulverton。ForGod’ssake,letmedown,goodfellow,fromthisaccursedmarrow-bone;andagroatofgoodmoneywillIpaythee,safeinmyhousetoDulverton;

  buttakenoticethatthehorseismine,nolessthanthenagtheyrobbedfromme。’

  ’What,UncleBen,dostthounotknowme,thydutifulnephewJohnRidd?’

  Nottomakealongstoryofit,Icutthethongsthatboundhim,andsethimastrideonthelittlehorse;buthewastooweaktostayso。ThereforeImountedhimonmyback,turningthehorseintohorse-steps,andleadingtheponybythecordswhichIfastenedaroundhisnose,setoutforPlover’sBarrows。

  UncleBenwentfastasleeponmyback,beingjadedandshakenbeyondhisstrength,foramanofthree-scoreandfive;andassoonhefeltassuredofsafetyhewouldtalknomore。Andtotellthetruthhesnoredsoloudly,thatIcouldalmostbelievethatfearfulnoiseinthefogeverynightcameallthewayfromDulverton。

  NowassoonaseverIbroughthimin,wesethimupinthechimney-corner,comfortableandhandsome;anditwasnolittledelighttometogethimoffmyback;

  for,likehisownfortune,UncleBenwasofagoodroundfigure。Hegavehislongcoatashakeortwo,andhestampedaboutinthekitchen,untilhewassureofhiswhereabouts,andthenhefellasleepagainuntilsuppershouldbeready。

  ’HeshallmarryRuth,’hesaidby-and-bytohimself,andnottome;’heshallmarryRuthforthis,andhavemylittlesavings,soonastheybeworththehaving。

  Verylittleasyet,verylittleindeed;andeversomuchgoneto-dayalongofthemrascalrobbers。’

  Mymothermadeadreadfulstir,ofcourse,aboutUncleBenbeinginsuchaplightasthis;soIlefthimtohercareandAnnie’s,andsoontheyfedhimrarely,whileIwentouttoseetothecomfortofthecapturedpony。Andintruthhewasworththecatching,andservedusverywellafterwards,thoughUncleBenwasinclinedtoclaimhimforhisbusinessatDulverton,wheretheyhavecartsandthatlike。’But,’Isaid,’youshallhavehim,sir,andwelcome,ifyouwillonlyridehimhomeasfirstIfoundyouridinghim。’Andwiththathedroppedit。

  Averystrangeoldmanhewas,shortinhismanner,thoughlongofbody,gladtodothecontrarythingstowhatanyoneexpectedofhim,andalwayslookingsharpatpeople,asifhefearedtobecheated。Thissurprisedmemuchatfirst,becauseitshowedhisignoranceofwhatwefarmersare——anuprightrace,asyoumayfind,scarcelyevercheatingindeed,exceptuponmarket-day,andeventhennomorethanmaybehelpedbyreasonofbuyersexpectingit。Nowoursimplewayswereapuzzletohim,asItoldhimveryoften;butheonlylaughed,andrubbedhismouthwiththebackofhisdryshininghand,andIthinkheshortlybegantolanguishforwantofsomeonetohigglewith。Ihadagreatmindtogivehimthepony,becausehethoughthimselfcheatedinthatcase;onlyhewouldconcludethatIdiditwithsomeviewtoalegacy。

  Ofcourse,theDoones,andnobodyelse,hadrobbedgoodUncleReuben;andthentheygrewsportive,andtookhishorse,anespeciallysobernag,andboundthemasteruponthewildone,foralittlechangeastheytoldhim。Fortwoorthreehourstheyhadfineenjoymentchasinghimthroughthefog,andmakingmuchsportofhisgroanings;andthenwaxinghungry,theywenttheirway,andlefthimtoopportunity。NowMr。Huckabackgrowingabletowalkinafewdays’time,becamethereuponimpatient,andcouldnotbebroughttounderstandwhyheshouldhavebeenrobbedatall。

  ’Ihaveneverdeservedit,’hesaidtohimself,notknowingmuchofProvidence,exceptwithasmallptoit;’Ihaveneverdeservedit,andwillnotstanditinthenameofourlordtheKing,notI!’Atothertimeshewouldburstforththus:’Three-scoreyearsandfivehaveIlivedanhonestandlaboriouslife,yetneverwasIrobbedbefore。Andnowtoberobbedinmyoldage,toberobbedforthefirsttimenow!’

  Thereuponofcoursewewouldtellhimhowtrulythankfulheoughttobeforneverhavingbeenrobbedbefore,inspiteoflivingsolonginthisworld,andthathewastakingaveryungrateful,nottosayungracious,view,inthusrepining,andfeelingaggrieved;whenanyoneelsewouldhavekneltandthankedGodforenjoyingsolonganimmunity。Butsaywhatwewould,itwasallasone。UncleBenstuckfasttoit,thathehadnothingtothankGodfor。

  InsteadofmindinghisNew-Yearpudding,MasterHuckabackcarriedonsoabouthismightygrievance,thatatlastwebegantothinktheremustbesomethinginit,afterall;especiallyasheassuredusthatchoiceandcostlypresentsfortheyoungpeopleofourhouseholdwereamongthegoodsdivested。Butmothertoldhimherchildrenhadplenty,andwantednogoldandsilver,andlittleElizaspokeupandsaid,’Youcangiveustheprettythings,UncleBen,whenwecomeinthesummertoseeyou。’

  OurmotherreprovedElizaforthis,althoughitwastheheelofherownfoot;andthentosatisfyouruncle,shepromisedtocallFarmerNicholasSnowe,tobeofourcouncilthatevening,’Andiftheyoungmaidenswouldkindlycome,withouttakingthoughttosmoothethemselves,whyitwouldbeallthemerrier,andwhoknewbutwhatUncleHuckabackmightblessthedayofhisrobbery,etc。,etc——andthoroughgoodhonestgirlstheywere,fithelpmateseitherforshoporfarm。’Allofwhichwasmeantforme;butIstucktomyplatterandanswerednot。

  IntheeveningFarmerSnowecameup,leadinghisdaughtersafterhim,likefilliestrimmedforafair;

  andUncleBen,whohadnotseenthemonthenightofhismishapbecausewordhadbeensenttostopthem,wasmightilypleasedandverypleasant,accordingtohistownbredways。Thedamselshadseengoodcompany,andsoongotovertheirfearofhiswealth,andplayedhimanumberofmerrypranks,whichmadeourmotherquitejealousforAnnie,whowasalwaysshyanddiffident。However,whenthehotcupwasdone,andbeforethemulledwinewasready,wepackedallthemaidensintheparlourandturnedthekeyuponthem;

  andthenwedrewneartothekitchenfiretohearUncleBen’sproposal。FarmerSnowesatupinthecorner,caringlittletobearaboutanything,butsmokingslowly,andnoddingbackwardlikeasheep-dogdreaming。

  Motherwasinthesettle,ofcourse,knittinghard,asusual;andUncleBentooktoathree-leggedstool,asifallbutthathadbeenthievedfromhim。Howsoever,hekepthisbreathfromspeech,givingprivilege,aswasdue,tomother。

  ’MasterSnowe,youarewellassured,’saidmother,colouringlikethefurzeasittooktheflameandfellover,’thatourkinsmanherehathreceivedroughharmonhispeacefuljourneyfromDulverton。Thetimesarebad,asweallknowwell,andthereisnosignofbetteringthem,andifIcouldseeourLordtheKingI

  mightsaythingstomovehim!nevertheless,Ihavehadsomuchofmyownaccounttovexfor——’

  ’Youareflyingoutofthesubject,Sarah,’saidUncleBen,seeingtearsinhereyes,andtiredofthatmatter。

  ’Zettlethepralimbinaries,’spokeFarmerSnowe,onappealfromus,’virstzettlethepralimbinaries;andthenusknowswhatbedrivin’at。’

  ’Preliminariesbedamned,sir,’criedUncleBen,losinghistemper。’WhatpreliminariesweretherewhenIwasrobbed;Ishouldliketoknow?RobbedinthisparishasIcanprove,totheeternaldisgraceofOareandthescandalofallEngland。AndIholdthisparishtoanswerforit,sir;thisparishshallmakeitgood,beinganestoffoulthievesasitis;ay,farmers,andyeomen,andallofyou。Iwillbeggareverymaninthisparish,iftheybenotbeggarsalready,ay,andsellyouroldchurchupbeforeyoureyes,butwhatI

  willhavebackmytarlatan,time-piece,saddle,anddove-tailednag。’

  Motherlookedatme,andIlookedatFarmerSnowe,andweallweresorryforMasterHuckaback,puttingourhandsuponetoanother,thatnobodyshouldbrowbeathim;becauseweallknewwhatourparishwas,andnonetheworseforstronglanguage,howeverrichthemanmightbe。ButUncleBentookitinadifferentway。

  Hethoughtthatweallwereafraidofhim,andthatOareparishwasbutasMoaborEdom,forhimtocasthisshoeover。

  ’NephewJack,’hecried,lookingatmewhenIwasthinkingwhattosay,andfindingonlyemptiness,’youareaheavylout,sir;abumpkin,aclodhopper;andI

  shallleaveyounothing,unlessitbemybootstogrease。’

  ’Well,uncle,’Imadeanswer,’Iwillgreaseyourbootsallthesameforthat,solongasyoubeourguest,sir。’

  Now,thatanswer,madewithoutathought,stoodmefortwothousandpounds,asyoushallsee,by-and-by,perhaps。

  ’Asfortheparish,’mymothercried,beingtoohardsettocontainherself,’theparishcandefenditself,andwemayleaveittodoso。ButourJackisnotlikethat,sir;andIwillnothavehimspokenof。Leavehimindeed!Whowantsyoutodomorethantoleavehimalone,sir;ashemighthavedoneyoutheothernight;

  andasnooneelsewouldhavedaredtodo。Andafterthat,tothinksomeanlyofme,andofmychildren!’

  ’Hoity,toity,Sarah!Yourchildren,Isuppose,arethesameasotherpeople’s。’

  ’Thattheyarenot;andneverwillbe;andyououghttoknowit,UncleReuben,ifanyoneintheworldought。

  Otherpeople’schildren!’

  ’Well,well!’UncleReubenanswered,’Iknowverylittleofchildren;exceptmylittleRuth,andsheisnothingwonderful。’

  ’IneversaidthatmychildrenwerewonderfulUncleBen;nordidIeverthinkit。Butasforbeinggood——’

  Heremotherfetchedoutherhandkerchief,beingovercomebyourgoodness;andItoldher,withmyhandtomymouth,nottonoticehim;thoughhemightbeworthtenthousandtimestenthousandpounds。

  ButFarmerSnowecameforwardnow,forhehadsomesensesometimes;andhethoughtitwashightimeforhimtosayawordfortheparish。

  ’MaisterHuckaback,’hebegan,pointingwithhispipeathim,theendthatwasdoneinsealing-wax,’toochingofwhatyouwasplaizedtozay’boutthishereparish,andnooother,mindmenoootherparishbutthees,I

  usethevreedom,zur,fortotell’e,thattheebealaiar。’

  ThenFarmerNicholasSnowefoldedhisarmsacrosswiththebowlofhispipeontheupperone,andgavemeanod,andthenonetomother,totestifyhowhehaddonehisduty,andreckednotwhatmightcomeofit。

  However,hegotlittlethanksfromus;fortheparishwasnothingatalltomymother,comparedwithherchildren’sinterests;andIthoughtithardthatanuncleofmine,andanoldmantoo,shouldbecalledaliar,byavisitoratourfireplace。Forwe,inourrudepartoftheworld,counteditoneoftheworstdisgracesthatcouldbefallaman,toreceivetheliefromanyone。ButUncleBen,asitseemswasusedtoit,inthewayoftrade,justaspeopleoffashionare,byastyleofcourtesy。

  ThereforetheoldmanonlylookedwithpityatFarmerNicholas;andwithasortofsorrowtoo,reflectinghowmuchhemighthavemadeinabargainwithsuchacustomer,soignorantandhot-headed。

  ’Nowletusbandywordsnomore,’saidmother,verysweetly;’nothingiseasierthansharpwords,excepttowishthemunspoken;asIdomanyandmany’sthetime,whenIthinkofmygoodhusband。ButnowletushearfromUncleReubenwhathewouldhaveusdotoremovethisdisgracefromamongstus,andtosatisfyhimofhisgoods。’

  ’Icarenotformygoods,woman,’MasterHuckabackansweredgrandly;’althoughtheywereoflargevalue,aboutthemIsaynothing。ButwhatIdemandisthis,thepunishmentofthosescoundrels。’

  ’Zober,man,zober!’criedFarmerNicholas;’webetoonaighBadgery’ood,tospakelikethatoftheyDooneses。’

  ’Packofcowards!’saidUncleReuben,lookingfirstatthedoor,however;’muchchanceIseeofgettingredressfromthevalourofthisExmoor!Andyou,MasterSnowe,theverymanwhomIlookedtotoraisethecountry,andtaketheleadaschurchwarden——why,myyoungestshopmanwouldmatchhisellagainstyou。Packofcowards,’criedUncleBen,risingandshakinghislappetsatus;’don’tpretendtoanswerme。Shakeyoualloff,thatIdo——nothingmoretodowithyou!’

  Weknewituselesstoanswerhim,andconveyedourknowledgetooneanother,withoutanythingtovexhim。

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