第19章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Wessex Tales",免费读到尾

  。ThiseveningIfellinwithanacquaintance,andwhenIsawhowhappyhewaswithhiswifeandfamilywelcominghimhome,thoughwithonlyone-tenthofmyincomeandchances,andthoughtwhatmighthavebeeninmycase,itfairlybrokedownmydiscretion,andoffIcamehere。NowIamhereIfeelthatIamwrongtosomeextent。

  ButthefeelingthatIshouldliketoseeyou,andtalkofthoseweusedtoknowincommon,wasverystrong。’

  ’Beforethatcanbethecasealittlemoretimemustpass,’saidMissSavilequietly;’atimelongenoughformetoregardwithsomecalmnesswhatatpresentIrememberfartooimpatiently——thoughitmaybeyoualmostforgetit。Indeedyoumusthaveforgottenitlongbeforeyouactedasyoudid。’Hervoicegrewstrongerandmorevivaciousassheadded:’ButIamdoingmybesttoforgetittoo,andIknowIshallsucceedfromtheprogressIhavemadealready!’

  Shehadremainedstandingtillnow,whensheturnedandsatdown,facinghalfawayfromhim。

  Barnetwatchedhermoodily。’Yes,itisonlywhatIdeserve,’hesaid。’Ambitionprickedmeon——no,itwasnotambition,itwaswrongheadedness!HadIbutreflected……’Hebrokeoutvehemently:’Butalwaysrememberthis,Lucy:ifyouhadwrittentomeonlyonelittlelineafterthatmisunderstanding,IdeclareI

  shouldhavecomebacktoyou。Thatruinedme!’heslowlywalkedasfarasthelittleroomwouldallowhimtogo,andremainedwithhiseyesontheskirting。

  ’But,Mr。Barnet,howcouldIwritetoyou?Therewasnoopeningformydoingso。’

  ’Thenthereoughttohavebeen,’saidBarnet,turning。’Thatwasmyfault!’

  ’Well,Idon’tknowanythingaboutthat;butastherehadbeennothingsaidbymewhichrequiredanyexplanationbyletter,Ididnotsendone。Everythingwassoindefinite,andfeelingyourpositiontobesomuchwealthierthanmine,IfanciedImighthavemistakenyourmeaning。AndwhenIheardoftheotherlady——awomanofwhosefamilyevenyoumightbeproud——IthoughthowfoolishIhadbeen,andsaidnothing。’

  ’ThenIsupposeitwasdestiny——accident——Idon’tknowwhat,thatseparatedus,dearLucy。AnyhowyouwerethewomanIoughttohavemademywife——andIletyouslip,likethefoolishmanthatIwas!’

  ’O,Mr。Barnet,’shesaid,almostintears,’don’trevivethesubjecttome;Iamthewrongonetoconsoleyou——think,sir,——youshouldnotbehere——itwouldbesobadformeifitwereknown!’

  ’Itwould——itwould,indeed,’hesaidhastily。’Iamnotrightindoingthis,andIwon’tdoitagain。’

  ’Itisaverycommonfollyofhumannature,youknow,tothinkthecourseyoudidNOTadoptmusthavebeenthebest,’shecontinued,withgentlesolicitude,asshefollowedhimtothedooroftheroom。

  ’Andyoudon’tknowthatIshouldhaveacceptedyou,evenifyouhadaskedmetobeyourwife。’Atthishiseyemethers,andshedroppedhergaze。Sheknewthathervoicebeliedher。Therewasasilencetillshelookeduptoadd,inavoiceofsoothingplayfulness,’Myfamilywassomuchpoorerthanyours,evenbeforeI

  lostmydearfather,that——perhapsyourcompanionswouldhavemadeitunpleasantforusonaccountofmydeficiencies。’

  ’Yourdispositionwouldsoonhavewonthemround,’saidBarnet。

  Shearchlyexpostulated:’Now,nevermindmydisposition;trytomakeitupwithyourwife!Thosearemycommandstoyou。Andnowyouaretoleavemeatonce。’

  ’Iwill。Imustmakethebestofitall,Isuppose,’hereplied,morecheerfullythanhehadasyetspoken。’ButIshallneveragainmeetwithsuchadeargirlasyou!’Andhesuddenlyopenedthedoor,andleftheralone。Whenhisglanceagainfellonthelampsthatweresparselyrangedalongthedrearylevelroad,hiseyeswereinastatewhichshowedstraw-likemotesoflightradiatingfromeachflameintothesurroundingair。

  OntheothersideofthewayBarnetobservedamanunderanumbrella,walkingparallelwithhimself。Presentlythismanleftthefootway,andgraduallyconvergedonBarnet’scourse。ThelatterthensawthatitwasCharlson,asurgeonofthetown,whoowedhimmoney。Charlsonwasamannotwithoutability;yethedidnotprosper。Sundrycircumstancesstoodinhiswayasamedicalpractitioner:hewasneedy;hewasnotacoddle;hegossipedwithmeninsteadofwithwomen;hehadmarriedastrangerinsteadofoneofthetownyoungladies;andhewasgiventoconversationalbuffoonery。Moreover,hislookwasquiteerroneous。Thoseonlyproperfeaturesinthefamilydoctor,thequieteye,andthethinstraightpassionlesslipswhichnevercurlinpubliceitherforlaughterorforscorn,werenothis;hehadafull-curvedmouth,andaboldblackeyethatmadetimidpeoplenervous。Hiscompanionswerewhatinoldtimeswouldhavebeencalledbooncompanions——anexpressionwhich,thoughofirreproachableroot,suggestsfraternizationcarriedtothepointofunscrupulousness。Allthiswasagainsthiminthelittletownofhisadoption。

  Charlsonhadbeenindifficulties,andtoobligehimBarnethadputhisnametoabill;and,ashehadexpected,wascalledupontomeetitwhenitfelldue。Ithadbeenonlyamatteroffiftypounds,whichBarnetcouldwellaffordtolose,andheborenoill-willtothethriftlesssurgeononaccountofit。ButCharlsonhadalittletoomuchbrazenindifferentisminhiscompositiontobealtogetheradesirableacquaintance。

  ’Ihopetobeabletomakethatlittlebill-businessrightwithyouinthecourseofthreeweeks,Mr。Barnet,’saidCharlsonwithhail-

  fellowfriendliness。

  Barnetrepliedgood-naturedlythattherewasnohurry。

  ThisparticularthreeweekshadmovedoninadvanceofCharlson’spresentwiththeprecisionofashadowforsomeconsiderabletime。

  ’I’vehadadream,’Charlsoncontinued。Barnetknewfromhistonethatthesurgeonwasgoingtobeginhischaracteristicnonsense,anddidnotencouragehim。’I’vehadadream,’repeatedCharlson,whorequirednoencouragement。’Idreamedthatagentleman,whohasbeenverykindtome,marriedahaughtyladyinhaste,beforehehadquiteforgottenanicelittlegirlheknewbefore,andthatonewetevening,likethepresent,asIwaswalkinguptheharbour-road,I

  sawhimcomeoutofthatdearlittlegirl’spresentabode。’

  Barnetglancedtowardsthespeaker。TheraysfromaneighbouringlampstruckthroughthedrizzleunderCharlson’sumbrella,soasjusttoilluminehisfaceagainsttheshadebehind,andshowthathiseyewasturnedupundertheoutercornerofitslid,whenceitleeredwithimpishjocosenessashethrusthistongueintohischeek。

  ’Come,’saidBarnetgravely,’we’llhavenomoreofthat。’

  ’No,no——ofcoursenot,’Charlsonhastilyanswered,seeingthathishumourhadcarriedhimtoofar,asithaddonemanytimesbefore。

  Hewasprofuseinhisapologies,butBarnetdidnotreply。Ofonethinghewascertain——thatscandalwasaplantofquickroot,andthathewasboundtoobeyLucy’sinjunctionforLucy’sownsake。

  Hedidso,totheletter;andthough,asthecrocusfollowedthesnowdropandthedaffodilthecrocusinLucy’sgarden,theharbour-

  roadwasanotunpleasantplacetowalkin,Barnet’sfeetnevertroditsstones,muchlessapproachedherdoor。Heavoidedasaunterthatwayashewouldhaveavoidedadangerousdram,andtookhisairingsalongdistancenorthward,amongseverelysquareandbrownploughedfields,wherenoothertownsmancame。Sometimeshewentroundbythelowerlanesoftheborough,wheretherope-walksstretchedinwhichhisfamilyformerlyhadshare,andlookedattherope-makerswalkingbackwards,overhungbyapple-treesandbushes,andintrudedonbycowsandcalves,asiftradehadestablisheditselfthereatconsiderableinconveniencetoNature。

  Onemorning,whenthesunwassowarmastoraiseasteamfromthesouth-easternslopesofthoseflankinghillsthatlookedsolovelyabovetheoldroofs,butmadeeverylow-chimneyedhouseinthetownassmokyasTophet,Barnetglancedfromthewindowsofthetown-

  councilroomforlackofinterestinwhatwasproceedingwithin。

  Severalmembersofthecorporationwerepresent,buttherewasnotmuchbusinessdoing,andinafewminutesDownecameleisurelyacrosstohim,sayingthatheseldomsawBarnetnow。

  Barnetownedthathewasnotoftenpresent。

  Downelookedatthecrimsoncurtainwhichhungdownbesidethepanes,reflectingitshothuesintotheirfaces,andthenoutofthewindow。Atthatmomenttherepassedalongthestreetatallcommandinglady,inwhomthesolicitorrecognizedBarnet’swife。

  Barnethaddonethesamething,andturnedaway。

  ’Itwillbeallrightsomeday,’saidDowne,withcheeringsympathy。

  ’Youhaveheard,then,ofherlastoutbreak?’

  Downedepressedhischeerfulnesstoitsveryreverseinamoment。

  ’No,Ihavenotheardofanythingserious,’hesaid,withaslongafaceasonenaturallyroundcouldbeturnedintoatshortnotice。

  ’Ionlyhearvaguereportsofsuchthings。’

  ’Youmaythinkitwillbeallright,’saidBarnetdrily。’ButI

  haveadifferentopinion……No,Downe,wemustlookthethingintheface。Notpoppynormandragora——however,howareyourwifeandchildren?’

  Downesaidthattheywereallwell,thanks;theywereoutthatmorningsomewhere;hewasjustlookingtoseeiftheywerewalkingthatway。Ah,theretheywere,justcomingdownthestreet;andDownepointedtothefiguresoftwochildrenwithanursemaid,andaladywalkingbehindthem。

  ’Youwillcomeoutandspeaktoher?’heasked。

  ’Notthismorning。ThefactisIdon’tcaretospeaktoanybodyjustnow。’

  ’Youaretoosensitive,Mr。Barnet。AtschoolIrememberyouusedtogetasredasaroseifanybodyutteredawordthathurtyourfeelings。’

点击下载App,搜索"Wessex Tales",免费读到尾