ButthisisnotallIhavetosayaboutKolory。Hismartialgraceveryoftencarriedaboutwithhimwhatseemedtomethehalfofabrokenwar-club。Itwasswathedroundwithraggedbitsofwhitetappa，andtheupperpart，whichwasintendedtorepresentahumanhead，wasembellishedwithastripofscarletclothofEuropeanmanufacture。
Itrequiredlittleobservationtodiscoverthatthisstrangeobjectwasreveredasagod。BythesideofthebigandlustyimagesstandingsentineloverthealtarsoftheHoolahHoolahground，itseemedamerepigmyintatters。Butappearancesalltheworldoveraredeceptive。
Littlemenaresometimesverypotent，andragssometimescoververyextensivepretensions。Infact，thisfunnylittleimagewasthe“crack“godoftheisland；lordingitoverallthewoodenlubberswholookedsogrimanddreadful；itsnamewasMoaArtua。*AnditwasinhonourofMoaArtua，andfortheentertainmentofthosewhobelieveinhim，thatthecuriousceremonyIamabouttodescribewasobserved。
*Theword“Artua，“althoughhavingsomeothersignifications，isinnearlyallthePolynesiandialectsusedasthegeneraldesignationofthegods。
MeheviandthechieftainsoftheTihavejustrisenfromtheirnoontideslumbers。Therearenoaffairsofstatetodisposeof；andhavingeatentwoorthreebreakfastsinthecourseofthemorning，themagnatesofthevalleyfeelnoappetiteasyetfordinner。Howaretheirleisuremomentstobeoccupied？Theysmoke，theychat，andatlastoneoftheirnumbermakesapropositiontotherest，whojoyfullyacquiescing，hedartsoutofthehouse，leapsfromthepi-pi，anddisappearsinthegrove。SoonyouseehimreturningwithKolory，whobearsthegodMoaArtuainhisarms，andcarriesinonehandasmalltrough，hollowedoutinthelikenessofacanoe。Thepriestcomesalongdanglinghischargeasifitwerealachrymoseinfanthewasendeavouringtoputintoagoodhumour。Presently，enteringtheTi，heseatshimselfonthematsascomposedlyasajugglerabouttoperformhissleight-of-handtricks；and，withthechiefsdisposedinacirclearoundhim，commenceshisceremony。
InthefirstplacehegivesMoaArtuaanaffectionatehug，thencaressinglylayshimtohisbreast，and，finally，whisperssomethinginhisear，therestofthecompanylisteningeagerlyforareply。Butthebaby-godisdeafordumb，-perhapsboth，forneveraworddoesheutter。AtlastKoloryspeaksalittlelouder，andsoongrowingangry，comesboldlyoutwithwhathehastosay，andbawlstohim。
Heputmeinmindofacholericfellow，who，aftertryinginvaintocommunicateasecrettoadeafman，allatoncefliesintoapassionandscreamsitoutsothateveryonemayhear。StillMoaArtuaremainsasquietasever，andKolory，seeminglylosinghistemper，fetcheshimaboxoverthehead，stripshimofhistappaandredcloth，and，layinghiminastateofnudityinalittletrough，covershimfromsight。Atthisproceedingallpresentloudlyapplaud，andsignifytheirapprovalbyutteringtheadjective“motarkee“withviolentemphasis。Kolory，however，issodesiroushisconductshouldmeetwithunqualifiedapprobation，thatheinquiresofeachindividualseparatelywhether，underexistingcircumstances，hehasnotdoneperfectlyrightinshuttingupMoaArtua。Theinvariableresponseis“Aa，Aa“yes，yes，repeatedoveragainandagaininamannerwhichoughttoquietthescruplesofthemostconscientious。AfterafewmomentsKolorybringsforthhisdollagain，and，whilearrayingitverycarefullyinthetappaandredcloth，alternatelyfondlesandchidesit。Thetoiletbeingcompleted，heoncemorespeakstoitaloud。Thewholecompanyhereuponshowthegreatestinterest；whilethepriest，holdingMoaArtuatohisear，interpretstothemwhathepretendsthegodisconfidentiallycommunicatingtohim。Someitemsofintelligenceappeartotickleallpresentamazingly；foroneclapshishandsinarapture；anothershoutswithmerriment；andathirdleapstohisfeetandcapersaboutlikeamadman。
WhatunderthesunMoaArtuaontheseoccasionshadtosaytoKoloryInevercouldfindout；butIcouldnothelpthinkingthattheformershowedasadwantofspiritinbeingdisciplinedintomakingthosedisclosures，whichatfirstheseemedbentonwithholding。Whetherthepriesthonestlyinterpretedwhathebelievedthedivinitysaidtohim，orwhetherhewasnotallthewhileguiltyofavilehumbug，Ishallnotpresumetodecide。Atanyrate，whatever，ascomingfromthegod，wasimpartedtothosepresent，seemedtobegenerallyofacomplimentarynature-afactwhichillustratesthesagacityofKolory，orelsethetime-servingdispositionofthishardly-useddeity。
MoaArtuahavingnothingmoretosay，hisbearergoestonursinghimagain，inwhichoccupation，however，heissooninterruptedbyaquestionputbyoneofthewarriorstothegod。Koloryhereuponsnatchesituptohisearagain，andafterlisteningattentively，oncemoreofficiatesastheorganofcommunication。Amultitudeofquestionsandanswershavingpassedbetweentheparties，muchtothesatisfactionofthosewhoproposethem，thegodisputtenderlytobedinthetrough，andthewholecompanyuniteinalongchant，ledoffbyKolory。Thisended，theceremonyisover；thechiefsrisetotheirfeetinhighgoodhumour，andmyLordArchbishop，afterchattingawhile，andregalinghimselfwithawhiffortwofromapipeoftobacco，tucksthecanoeunderhisarmandmarchesoffwithit。
Thewholeoftheseproceedingswerelikethoseofaparcelofchildrenplayingwithdollsandbaby-houses。
Forayoungsterscarcelytenincheshigh，andwithsofewearlyadvantagesashedoubtlesshadhad，MoaArtuawascertainlyaprecociouslittlefellow，ifhereallysaidallthatwasimputedtohim；butforwhatreasonthispoordevilofadeity，thuscuffedabout，cajoled，andshutupinabox，washeldingreaterestimationthanthefull-grownanddignifiedpersonagesoftheTabooGroves，I
cannotdivine。AndyetMehevi，andotherchiefsofunquestionableveracity-tosaynothingofthePrimatehimself-assuredmeoverandoveragainthatMoaArtuawasthetutelarydeityofTypee，andwasmoretobeheldinhonourthanawholebattalionoftheclumsyidolsintheHoolahHoolahgrounds。Kory-Kory-whoseemedtohavedevotedconsiderableattentiontothestudyoftheology，asheknewthenamesofallthegravenimagesinthevalley，andoftenrepeatedthemovertome-likewiseentertainedsomeratherenlargedideaswithregardtothecharacterandpretensionsofMoaArtua。Heoncegavemetounderstand，withagesturetherewasnomisconceiving，thatifheMoaArtuaweresominded，hecouldcauseacocoa-nuttreetosproutoutofhisKory-Kory’shead；andthatitwouldbetheeasiestthinginlifeforhimMoaArtuatotakethewholeislandofNukuhevainhismouth，anddivedowntothebottomoftheseawithit。
But，insoberseriousness，Ihardlyknewwhattomakeofthereligionofthevalley。TherewasnothingthatsomuchperplexedtheillustriousCook，inhisintercoursewiththeSouthSeaislanders，astheirsacredrites。Althoughthisprinceofnavigatorswasinmanyinstancesassistedbyinterpretersintheprosecutionofhisresearches，hestillfranklyacknowledgesthathewasatalosstoobtainanythinglikeaclearinsightintothepuzzlingarcanaoftheirfaith。Asimilaradmissionhasbeenmadebyothereminentvoyagers，-
byCarteret，Byron，Kotzebue，andVancouver。
Formyownpart，althoughhardlyadaypassedwhileIremainedupontheislandthatIdidnotwitnesssomereligiousceremonyorother，itwasverymuchlikeseeingaparcelof“Freemasons“makingsecretsignstoeachother:Isaweverything，butcouldcomprehendnothing。
Onthewhole，IaminclinedtobelievethattheislandersinthePacifichavenofixedanddefiniteideaswhateveronthesubjectofreligion。IampersuadedthatKoloryhimselfwouldbeeffectuallyposedwerehecalledupontodrawupthearticlesofhisfaith，andpronouncethecreedbywhichhehopedtobesaved。Intruth，theTypees，sofarastheiractionsevince，submittedtonolaws，humanordivine-alwaysexceptingthethricemysteriousTaboo。The“independentelectors“ofthevalleywerenottobebrowbeatenbychiefs，priests，idols，ordevils。Asforthelucklessidols，theyreceivedmorehardknocksthansupplications。Idonotwonderthatsomeofthemlookedsogrim，andstoodsoboldupright，asiffearfuloflookingtotherightortheleft，lesttheyshouldgiveanyoneoffence。Thefactis，theyhadtocarrythemselves“prettystraight，“orsuffertheconsequences。Theirworshippersweresuchaprecioussetoffickle-mindedandirreverentheathens，thattherewasnotellingwhentheymighttoppleoneofthemover，breakittopieces，andmakingafirewithitontheveryaltaritself，falltoroastingtheofferingsofbread-fruit，andeattheminspiteofitsteeth。
Inhowlittlereverencetheseunfortunatedeitieswereheldbythenatives，wasononeoccasionmostconvincinglyprovedtome。WalkingwithKory-Korythroughthedeepestrecessesofthegroves，Iperceivedacurious-lookingimage，aboutsixfeetinheight，whichoriginallyhadbeenplaceduprightagainstalowpi-pi，surmountedbyaruinousbambootemple，buthavingbecomefatiguedandweakintheknees，wasnowcarelesslyleaningagainstit。Theidolwaspartlyconcealedbythefoliageofatreewhichstoodnear，andwhoseleafyboughsdroopedoverthepileofstones，asiftoprotecttherudefanefromthedecaytowhichitwasrapidlyhastening。Theimageitselfwasnothingitwasmorethanagrotesquely-shapedlog，carvedinthelikenessofaportlynakedman，withthearmsclaspedoverthehead，thejawsthrownwideapart，anditsthickshapelesslegsbowedintoanarch。Itwasmuchdecayed。Thelowerpartwasovergrownwithabrightsilkymoss。Thinspearsofgrasssproutedfromthedistendedmouth，andfringedtheoutlineoftheheadandarms。Hisgodshiphadliterallyattainedagreenoldage。Allitsprominentpointswerebruisedandbattered，orentirelyrottedaway。Thenosehadtakenitsdeparture，andfromthegeneralappearanceofthehead，itmighthavebeensupposedthatthewoodendivinity，indespairattheneglectofitsworshippers，hadbeentryingtobeatitsownbrainsoutagainstthesurroundingtrees。
Idrewnear，toinspectmorecloselythisstrangeobjectofidolatry，buthaltedreverentlyatthedistanceoftwoorthreepaces，outofregardtothereligiousprejudicesofmyvalet。Assoon，however，asKory-KoryperceivedthatIwasinoneofmyinquiring，scientificmoods，tomyastonishmenthesprangtothesideoftheidol，andpushingitawayfromthestonesagainstwhichitrested，endeavouredtomakeitstanduponitslegs。Butthedivinityhadlosttheuseofthemaltogether；andwhileKory-Korywastryingtopropitup，byplacingastickbetweenitandthepi-pi，themonsterfellclumsilytotheground，andwouldinfalliblyhavebrokenitsneckhadnotKory-Koryprovidentiallybrokenitsfall，byreceivingitswholeweightonhisownhalf-crushedback。Ineversawthehonestfellowinsucharagebefore。Heleapedfuriouslytohisfeet，and，seizingthestick，beganbeatingthepoorimage，everymomentortwopausingandtalkingtoitinthemostviolentmanner，asifupbraidingitfortheaccident。Whenhisindignationhadsubsidedalittle，hewhirledtheidolaboutmostprofanely，soastogivemeanopportunityofexaminingitonallsides。IamquitesureInevershouldhavepresumedtohavetakensuchlibertieswiththegodmyself，andIwasnotalittleshockedatKory-Kory’simpiety。